Hi guys, I had to go into hiding briefly as Mr. Lizard’s people were stalking my every electronic move. Or the local guy cut some seriously weird shit into the local meth. Thanks to all of my fellow Glib contributors who took a turn filling in for me. Especially Spud. Welcome to the party, pal.

I know they’ve been running this headline for over 2 years, but they’ve got Trump this time! Or not. A shady lawyer trying to save his own hide told Congress that his boss had asked him to rig some online polls. Which, anyone who isn’t doing that is too dumb to be President. Its a necessary but not sufficient condition. Oh, and they shared some internal polling data that was in no way a state secret or subject to export controls with some Russian people. Maybe. All hail President Pence!

North Korea may be opening a beach resort! I have mixed feelings about this because it disgusts me that the same entity that has made itself responsible for feeding the people of North Korea and failing to do so will probably watch tourists discard millions of calories a week without a second thought, but maybe some oppressed Koreans will be able to sneak out.

Its great to see a man achieve his dream, despite disabilities.

My good friend dated a girl who probably would have done this to him if we had smart-phones back then. She had no problem picking up his cellphone and scrolling through the call logs. How do we apply “don’t stick it in crazy” to arranged marriages?

I watched Supertroopers 2 on the plane last night, so this has been rattling around in my head. All of you can suffer with me.