I’ve wanted to go to Sri Lanka since I was a child. Something about it enticed me. I had an opportunity to make the journey, and it ended up being a profound mix of geographic and emotional exploration.
This trip represents the downfall of a relationship that was once precious to me. It tarnishes my recollections of cultural and romantic adventures alike. We fell into our doomed love in Korea. During our honeymoon phase, I chose to go to America to get my first hip replacement and was gone for several months longer than I had planned. She cheated on me while I was gone. We had been together for such a short period of time and I was away for so long. I let it slide.
When we reunited, our spark had dimmed but it was not yet snuffed. When we floated, we floated high. Way up there where you’re afraid to look down for fear of getting Wile E. Coyoted. But we had so many fights. In front of strangers, our friends. There are encounters that neither of us are proud of. Knives were thrown. I ducked.
It was difficult to navigate our spiraling descent. It was such an unhealthy relationship, but we were still desperately in love. We’d been together for a few years when we decided to switch things up. I knew the idea to move to Singapore together wasn’t a good one. So did she. But we wouldn’t dare talk about it. Polite fictions. We simply couldn’t escape our orbit. We didn’t want to. We were terrified that any push would send us hurtling apart. Hoping without promise, we lied to ourselves and each other, secretly knowing and ignoring the truth. We were such stubborn magnets.
****
I had ten days off and I finally got the chance to go to the Teardrop of India. As often is the case, I didn’t know to expect and I was going to do it alone. Mostly. Before I left Singapore, I had casually mentioned my vacation plans to a coworker. We were friendly but not friends, if you know what I mean. A few weeks later she also decided to go to Sri Lanka. We were on the same plane. As soon as we landed we both went on our separate paths.
This is one of the rare adventures where my plan worked out perfectly. I had a rough idea of what places I wanted to visit, what routes I needed to take, the food I wanted to eat, and what things I wanted to do. Went off without a hitch. This is how I like to travel. Do research, but always leave plans loose and untimed. You never know what you’ll find. You’re here to explore, not to punch in-and-out.
I arrived in Colombo very late at night. Having read that it’s a very boring city, I immediately bailed. I took a four-hour cab up north to Sigiriya. I slept in the car and awoke to hot air balloons drifting in the dawn light. Cows were being herded through the half-paved streets.
Sigiriya is an ancient ruin of a city. It’s a towering butte and is best described as the Machu Picchu of the Sri Lankan jungle. Lion paws carved into the rock flank the main entrance. Monkeys roamed freely.
Through the bustling crowd, I climbed up the steps. Erotic paintings decorated the walls during the ascent. They had my undivided attention.
It was heavenly, but a bitch of a climb with dreams of an elevator. At the summit, you can see the foundations of the ancient capital. My imagination built upwards from those stone rectangles, recreating the lost city.
The Lonely Mountain in the distance fed the idyllic lake napping below. It took a lot of effort to convince myself to head back down. It felt like leaving a lover behind. I suppose I was.
Monkeys were darting along the staircases and cliff sides on the descent. You get used to them.
I moved onwards towards Kandy, a city surrounded by tea fields. It was an interesting town but mostly served as a waypoint in my journey. I randomly met with my coworker for dinner and a drink.
On my tuk tuk ride back to my hostel, I asked if I could drive. He shouldn’t have let me in my drunken state, but he did. I exuberantly sped up the mountainside in that foreign vehicle, somehow safely making it to my domicile. The gate was locked. I had to scale the iron palisade to get in. The more bizarre your adventures are, the deeper the images burn into the silver iodide of your memory.
I needed to catch a train from Kandy to Ella, supposedly one of the most scenic routes in the world. The train departed at 6:00, which was going to be a difficult task. With my lifestyle, 6am can be the end of the night, but never the beginning of a day.
Nevertheless, I (somehow) dutifully awoke and rushed to the station. I even had time to jockey myself in position for a seat. BUT. I didn’t want a seat. I wanted to go with my legs dangling off the train car.
I got want I wanted. This was an experience that reminded me of why I live the way that I do. The geography made the trip longer than it should have been. It was only 82 miles and yet took over six hours to traverse. I knew if I got up then I would be overthrown from my hobo throne, so I held my ground for the duration of the trip sans bathroom break. When the game is on the line my body can pull off some shocking upsets.
At a random train station, I took my favorite photo of the trip. I love how his skin and garb mirror the backdrop. Being intensely amused by minutia is a very good way to keep life interesting.
Well, there was one exception to my exuberance. I wanted to take my shoes off and let the air sweep through my toes. That was the type of Huck Finn fun I wanted. Luckily, I nodded off without removing them. The train had come to a station and my feet smashed against the concrete platform. Thankfully it was only at about 30 miles an hour, and my rubber soles took the brunt. Barefoot I would have broken many bones. The torsion from the impact bashed my rib cage against the carriage wall. The bruises became abstract art that changed color and shape over time.
The station had a sign warped with age and flecked with chipped white paint. The top row of the sign was written in Sinhalese, the second in Tamil, and the third was Romanized.
It read “Ella–52km.”
******
Thus concludes Part I. In the final installment, we will continue our journey to Ella. Then we will go on safari before finishing the trip at a 16th-century fort.
Stay tuned and I hope you enjoyed.
Very nice. I always have trouble convincing myself to travel alone somewhere.
How was the local wine?
Local beer is okay. The local hooch – Araak – is brutal stuff made from coconut sap. Worst hangovers ever.
Same here. Except that I’m talking about masturbation, not travel.
Musical accompaniment.
Delightful. I hope you’ll talk about the food…
Wow, that was cool, can’t wait for part 2
Whoa. Well-written, informative and moving. Reminds me of the travel writing of Evelyn Waugh. Moar, pleez.
Great article Evan. Keep ’em coming. I can sit here and live vicariously through you without leaving my bed, couch, refrigerator, bathroom, or liquor cabinet.
*tosses another log on the fire*
What? No ALT+TEXT?
It got knocked out of him when he hit the platform.
Spoilerth!!!
If you’re concerned about spoilers, why are you reading the comments before the article?
I never said *I* didn’t read the article. Just some other people seemed not to know where the alt-text went, but it’s obvious when you read the sub-text.
A very enjoyable article. I’m looking forward to the next one.
Lovely!
Awesome stuff, glad you didn’t visit nearby Sentinel island.
Correction I guess it’s not really nearby.
Very nice! Although that first section did read like a bad Harlequin romance.
Very nice! Although that first section did read like a bad Harlequin romance.
Double posting on this site takes real talent.
You got distracted by the Fabio cover.
Whoa! How did that happen?
Smart phone and a twitchy thumb.
I blame the DTs when that happens.
It’s not easy to post when there are spiders crawling all over you.
Just remember – they’ll only bite if they’re scared. Or angry. Or hungry. Or horny. Or…
Spudalicious, appreciated the write up you did on your batch last night. Sorry I wasn’t around to comment on it.
It had too much hops for my taste.
Well, I’m not going to ask why you put hop oil on your monitor before tasting it…
It’s a beer article, don’t you?
Hm… call your next IPA “Hans Hermann Hoppy.”
No, I put it in my beard.
Ditto on the beer article. I enjoyed it.
For some reason I had it in mind that Sri Lanka is an exceptionally dangerous place for tourists. Googling it just now, that appears not to be the case. I don’t know when or why I would have come up with that impression.
Because it used to be not that long ago. Remember the Tamil Tigers?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberation_Tigers_of_Tamil_Eelam
Civil wars will do that to the tourist industry.
Huh. Yep, that would explain it. I probably heard about something or other in the 90s and never given it another thought.
They were bad. So bad that eventually divisions were sent in to wipe them out, no prisoners taken. They were exterminated. I dont remember now which side my sympathies laid with, but even if the Tamils were in the right their tactics were beyond the pale.
When you rely heavily on child soldiers and forced suicide bombers, I can’t sympathize.
There really weren’t any good guys. It was a ethnic conflict that had its roots in British meddling between the ethnicities. Unsurprisingly, it ended up playing out pretty much the same way as every other place where the Brits mucked about with the natives when they abandoned the colony; India/ Pakistan/ Bangladesh, most of the middle east, etc.
It was a ethnic conflict that had its roots in British meddling between the ethnicities.
In most such cases, the conflict has roots that predate the meddling. The British exploited the divisions, they did not create them.
The Tamils were communists and evil even for that tribe.
Tamil Tigers – not all Tamils.
Excellent article. I have had the chance to do some solo travelling, both short and long trips and enjoy it. Reading this inspires a feeling of wanderlust in me.
Oh, I had dreams of travel and adventure when I was young. Then I got to do it. Ever hear the saying “You dont know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone”?
*tosses another log on the fire, leans back on couch*
Boredom is vastly underrated.
Monotony never gets old,
/some song I wrote
I have. Though I honestly find taking a couple-three weeks to simply get out and go somewhere in a rambling manner; whether it’s a road trip in the US with no particular destination, or overseas travel helps me appreciate the warmth of home fires once I return. Admittedly, I’m calibrated to like novelty, adventure, and the unknown perhaps more than some.
I understand, but I got my fill long ago.
I can relate. It’s less and less frequent I have the desire myself. I imagine I’ve got about another decade tops and should by then be safely ensconced in my retirement property with all the amenities i desire and little reason to leave save to head to town for occasional supplies and social interactions.
The girlfriend and I are hoping to do a couple of weeks in Europe next Summer. We were hoping to do it this year, but I wouldn’t have had enough vacation time banked up at the new job yet. Just have to hope that Icelandic Air keeps it’s route between Cleveland and Reykjavik (the price has gone up from ~$450 round trip to ~$620 round trip since last year).
How’s she feeling?
The coughing has subsided. She’s getting ready to go out to LA to visit her aunt, and she’s realized she’s going to miss out on pączki this year. She asked me to pick some up for her, and I had to point out that I work during the day, and am not going to leave a box of pączki sitting in my car all day.
Awesome. Glad she’s finally feeling better.
Still astoundingly cheap. I paid a lot more than that for a New York-Rekjavik-Luxembourg flight back in the late 80’s.
That’s where the fun comes in. Once you get to Reykjavik, the flights to Western Europe are also cheap. So instead of a $2,000 round trip flight, you’re talking under $1,000, which makes it much more affordable.
Round trip from KC to Reykjavik is $600.
Round trip from Reykjavik to Madrid is ~$250.
For us the other advantage ist he Reykjavik flight is direct, so no hellish layover in another airport.
Yep. Iceland Air made some sort of deal with KCI, which gives us cheap no-stop roundtrips.
Look up WOW Airlines. They are an Icelandic “cheap seats” airline with new equipment and old school stewardesses. I used them last summer and was impressed. I had a 23 hour layover in Iceland and enjoyed the hell out of myself. I went to the “Thinggever”, the deserted coast etc. and even had time to squeeze in some of Reykjavik.
The last time I had been in Iceland was during the Cold War and the island in 2018 was more wealthy but the people as friendly as ever.
How hard is it to get by with just English?
Anywhere by France, you should be fine.
From what I’ve read, not hard at all. The local opinion of tourists appears divided, with a bunch of stupid tourists doing dump tourist things on a semi-regular basis.
Fine, until you get to Scotland.
Being of mixed Irish and English descent, the Scots are my mortal enemies.
They’re funny as hell, though. Impressive drinkers.
Being of mixed Irish and English descent, the Scots are
my mortal enemiesgenetically indistinguishable from me.FTFY, also the Irish are the happy go lucky Celts, the grumpy, get off my lawn, everything sucks Celts are the Cornish, are you sure you are Irish?
They were from Devonshire, not Cornwall, and that gives them a higher chance of being English than Cornish.
It was incredibly easy to get by with English in Iceland. Even the Thai restaurant employees spoke American English.
Hasn’t the country basically been overrun by Game of Thrones fanbois?
Not entirely, a good chunk of it is overrun by Skyrim fanbois.
Shit, I paid that much to fly to Vegas last year.
folks I liked working with
7 Spain
6 France
5 Mexico
4 Canada
3 Poland
2 Japan
1 Germany
folks I liked to visit and party with
8 Germany
7 Japan
6 Canada
5 Mexico
4 Ireland
3 France
2 Poland
1 Spain
best women folk
5 Germany
5 France
5 Canada
3 Mexico
3 Ireland
2 Poland
1 Spain
No.
Best womenfolk:
1. Moldova
2. Czech Republic
3. Netherlands
Best food:
1. Italy
2. France
3. Spain
4. Austria
Best partiers:
1. France
no-one else was even close.
Best street music:
1. Austria
2. Czech
I’ve never been to Moldova, my wife comes from a Bohunk family, but #3 is flat out wrong. Dutch are the Canadians of the German world. They’re just off. Maybe OMWC just finds Miffy an easy way for his in.
Moldova is a center of the actual (as opposed to entirely made up as in the US) sex trafficking/slave trade.
If tall willowy girls with avid-bicycler thighs is wrong, then I’m glad to be wrong.
I want to go to Spain so badly I can taste it.
Wasted on you unless you abandon the “no wine” prohibition.
Pffftt. I can appreciate food and otherwise enjoy myself sober.
Weirdo.
What do (((people))) eat in Spain? It’s all pork and shellfish.
(((They))) were all removed by Torquemada.
Padron peppers and a fino, sitting outside of a cafe. Cheese and membrillo with an old Rioja. Paella vegetale at a magnificent old restaurant in Madrid, washed down with some amazing local vino blanco. Tortilla at a tapas bar with an oloroso…
I did not go hungry.
That sounds tasty, but like a hell of a hangover.
Uffda.
Last job soured me on Germans big time. How can you deal with a culture that doesn’t have a concept of nicknames? People who insist on calling me James are never going to be fun to drink with.
For my money, Koreans are some of the funnest people to drink with. As I’ve said before, Irish of the East. I also have to say that Korea is my #1 wimmin folk (my wife reads this blog sometimes).
Spaniards and Mexicans are both fun to work and drink with. The best is when you can get a mixture of both (because you can start very entertaining fights about who talks Spanish correctly).
My least favorite to work with are Indians from India. The main reason is because you have to be so circumspect and gentle with them to make sure that they aren’t just telling you what you want to hear. (I have worked with a few notable exceptions). Also when they get in a group, it is amazing how they sort themselves out into a hierarchy that I have never been able to figure out.
I used to have a Cuban friend who would go on and on about how he can’t communicate with Mexicans/Central Americans because they speak “gutter Spanish”, not like Cubans who speak proper Spanish. Always amused me.
Growing up in Miami I had Cuban, Mexican, and Puerto Rican friends. They pretty much hated each other. Nothing violent, but it was constant shit talking, and they would yell insults at each other after school, and talk about how ignorant and stupid the other groups were.
I always dreamed of doing that sort of thing, but all I ever ended up doing was a couple of cross-country drives when I moved out to California and then back to Virginia. I love my wife and my kids, wouldn’t trade them for anything, but I do regret not being more daring and adventurous when I was young and unattached.
Touring Uzbekistan at the tail end of our deployment there way back when was kind of fun, though. It was an odd situation – our gear, which was expeditionary radar, had been operating there for over two years by early 2004. The Air Force was finally replacing us with a permanent (ancient) system dug out of mothballs from a warehouse at Incirlik Turkey. Took them forever to pass a flight check, and when they did we stopped operating but kept out gear in place in case the AF radar crapped out. They wanted us to wait two weeks before packing up and heading home. In the meantime, we literally had nothing to do, so our comm chief decided to put together a tour group, using the invented pretext that we had gear we had to pick up at the airport in Samarkand. Somehow he scrounged up a couple of Land Cruisers and two interpreters and off we went for a few days in civvies.
We saw the tomb of Timur, which was a real cloak and dagger affair. The “official” tomb that tourists see isn’t his real tomb, apparently. We bribed the guide who then procured more bribes for a couple of security guards who then escorted us through a no-shit trapdoor in the floor. This tunnel led across the street to what was supposedly his REAL grave in an underground chamber. Who knows if any of this was true, but the bribes were like $5 in US dollars and it was fun. Saw a bunch of other interesting sites in Samarkand and Bukhara. On the last day I got violently ill from not observing the interpreter’s advice to avoid the unpasturized Uzbek yogurt served to us at breakfast in the hotel, which was really more like a B&B so I felt bad that no one was eating the homemade stuff our hosts were so proud to serve us. Figured, hey, one bite wouldn’t hurt right? No. In the process of shitting my guts out for the next 36 hours or so, I discovered a)many places in Uzbekistan don’t have actual toilets, just a hole in the ground b)if they have any toilet paper at all, it’s the roughest shit that’s ever been wiped across an anus. Upon our return to K2, I was deposited in the hospital tent for severe dehydration. Took about 7 IVs to get me back to normal. Nurses were cute, at least.
Ditto.
Most amazing travel-adventurer I know is a guy that must be pushing 80 now. In the decade+ I’ve known him he has gone to the Outback in Australia and shipped his truck over so he could travel as he wanted there for ~6-7 months. He fell in with a bunch of Aussie off-roaders who were prepping to do a Capetown to Cairo trek, so he shipped his truck on with theirs and did that. When he finally got back stateside he decided to do the Pan-American highway from the arctic to Patagonia.
And THAT is why I go to Burning Man, because you meet really amazing people there.
A trip of a lifetime that most of us only dream about. 50 years ago I wanted to go to Kuala Lumper, instead wound up in Sydney. You’re a brave and lucky young man. Now that you have whetted our appetites we need to go with you on the rest of the trip. Thanks Evan
No kidding – I will have to resist cheating, by reading the draft post, when it is available.
While on a friend’s yacht some years back, we’d departed Kerala bound for Perth. That first afternoon, we could see Sri Lanka on our port side. We discussed touching there and doing a little exploring, but in the end decided to Ceylon.
Boo!
*narrows gaze*
Shouldn’t you have summoned the krakken?
Riddle me this – why do some people put postnominal letters for Masters degrees into their email signatures? I’ve just seen that again today and it struck me as odd. We’re talking about needing to update configurations to new DNS names, the fact that you are an “MS MBA” is really irrelevent. Name, contact information and the agency/company you represent are all that really need be there.
They want to be ready to demand you call them doctor when they get their doctorate.
Must be something wrong with me. I don’t use the Dr thing in my email signature or my business cards. At one time, I used it on my checks to make it easier to kite them, but that was back in the days when I actually used checks.
If you have to tell people that you are smart….
There is a good reason I always liked you…Doc.
Better smile when you call me that.
Besides which, Doc was not my Spirit Dwarf.
Grumpy?
Dopey.
Sleazy.
Does playing Doctor with children actually make you a doctor?
Pedotrician?
*golf clap*
BUT MUH CREDENTIALS!
Because they want to tell you what caste they belong to.
bizarre
even more bizarre, shouting: “my name is Sergeant Wilmer Suxhissef” How does your office work into one’s name?
I have a friend, a retired National Guard officer, that uses his rank plus (Ret) on his checks, on his little address stickers.
“Ya know, Tony, nobody cares”
In my industry (insurance), I see a lot of certification organization alphabet soup after people names. Some IT project manager types are doing it now too. It’s really quite silly.
I think it might be oddly apt if I did it.
UnCivilServant, BS
A lot of accountants I work with use the title CPA after their names. Some companies require you to use it to make them look more prestigious which is dumb because what you produce should give you prestige. But part of me gets it when someone puts that CPA title at the end of their name, because it’s a hard ass test to pass.
You mean my PhD in Kitten Studies doesn’t carry the same weight?
Ah, an Evergreen State graduate.
There was one guy I worked with who thought that putting all of the initials he had earned in his signature block would make people respect him more. He included things like A+ and MCP… it had the opposite effect.
For the non-IT people, A+ is an entry level cert that used to focus on hardware repair (especially laser printers last time I looked at it), and MCP is Microsoft Certified Professional, which is earned by passing any MS cert test… including things like Word, Excel, or PowerPoint.
And here I thought CISSP was a worthless cert after I took the training.
I have a friend who tries to get people to call him Dr. because he has a JD. I delight in pointing out to him that the JD is actually a bachelor’s degree in Law (it was an LLB until the 70s when Law Schools decided to rename it without changing the reqs., my Dad has a letter from his school offering to upgrade his diploma from the LLB to the Doctorate for a fee.) The thing that really amuses me is that the same friend gave up on his license after 2 bar exam failures.
JD – Junior Debater?
I thought they bumped it from two years to three when the changed it from the LLB to the JD.
Whenever I see someone insisting on being called “Doctor”, I figure they’re incompetent
and trying to paper it over with the credential bashing.
I thought they bumped it from two years to three when the changed it from the LLB to the JD.
Nope, My Dad and I went to the same school, for the same 3 years and he has the LLB and I have the JD, because lawyers believe calling a rose by any other name would make it smell less sweet. We are a shallow profession.
We need more MCSE’s
MCSE = Minsweeper Champion and Solitare Expert
As an aside, Neither Minesweeper nor Solitare are installed by default on state desktops. You need local admin to add them.
Ahhh, I remember the days of the paper MCSE’s. I had to drive from Cleveland to Rochester and back in one day because some paper MCSE (and self proclaimed “Network God”) brought down an entire network when trying to update a registry hive. He complained to my boss that the directions (including which hive to change, what it would currently have in it, and what it would need to be updated to) were confusing. I printed out a copy of the e-mail I sent to him, drove there. Walked in, got to the machine in question, opened up regedit, backed up the hive, and updated it. I then confirmed the issue was fixed, and that there were no other issues (total of 15 minutes of time on-site). Turned around and drove home.
His defense? “Oh, you used regedit to update the registry.”
So what was he doing?
I wish I knew. The only thing I can think of is regedt32, but it’s the same process to make an update.
My best guess is he:
a) Didn’t back it up
b) Didn’t read the full path
c) Fucked up the registry by changing something else entirely.
Relatedly, I occasionally run across some form where you’re supposed to
put in your “highest” diploma/education, and then the have the
usual BS/BA, MS/MA, and PhD. Um… so where am I supposed to put
a JD? It’s more than an MS in that it’s three years instead of the usual
two, and it’s a terminal degree. I can’t put BS, since I’ve got an additional
one after that. I could put PhD on the theory that it’s got “Doctor” in there,
but that feels slightly dishonest.
A JD is a professional degree, not an academic one. But it also takes 3 years, so go ahead and call it an MA.
I have two B.A.’s and an M.B.A.
Which is why my business cards used to read “So-and-so, BABAMBA.”
I got a lot of strange looks.
At least it doesn’t say LAMBADA.
That’s the forbidden dance!
Or “La Bamba.” 😉
I never knew my Dad had a PhD until one day I was home sick (6th grade) and he was being interviewed on TV – they had identified him as “Dr. Tejicano” which I had no idea about until my mother explained it to me.
We want to take our kids roadtripping to Jellystone. Well, *I* want to go to Jellystone because I have lots of good memories of my family’s roadtrips there.
They’ve been to New York City, though not Washington DC, which is another place I want to take them. We’ve been to Kentucky to a distillery and to the Corvette factory (that was freaking awesome). Mr. Mojeaux and I did a quick tour of California right after XX was born to visit family, so she doesn’t remember. XX has been to Seattle and Vancouver, though the rest of us haven’t.
I would like our kids to be as well traveled (US wise) as I was by the time I was 18. I grew up poor, but by golly, my parents made sure we had summer roadtripping vacations.
DC is a nice place to visit, I just wouldn’t want to live there. The Smithsonian was interesting. The national archives was also a nice spot. though I was saddened that the ink on the actual constitution and declaration had faded to the point it was difficult to decipher. (Maybe that’s SCOTUS’ problem…) I don’t know if it’s still there, but they had one of the copies of the Magna Carta on display whe I went. (There were several made at the time of the signing, and somehow one was there at the same time as me).
I’ve been 3 times, most of my time spent at the Smithsonian. Loved it all 3 times.
I like going to London UK for the same type of reason — the freakin’ awesome British Museum.
All the stuff the Brits stole from Greece and Egypt. Sure. The new Acropolis Museum in Athens doesn’t pull punches telling the story how the Parthenon sculptures ended up in London.
For the longest time, the artifacts were safer there.
With the socjus infestation attacking history now, maybe no longer.
There’s a Jellystone here in Ohio that the parents used to take us kids to for camping when we were younger. We also used to go down to the Mohican every summer for camping and canoeing. Other road trips I remember from my youth were: New England where we got to see the Old Man in the Mountain; Quebec, where my dad hadn’t booked rooms in advance and didn’t know French; Kiawah Island for one of their anniversaries.
I remember driving across Saskatchewan “on our way” to Utah to drop me off for my sophomore year at BYU. All prairie. Everybody asleep but me (cuz I was driving).
My mother LOVES the mountains. We had gone to Quebec and Banff on the way to the Tetons.
Wow, the memories this is bringing up. I need to write these down.
One of these days I’ll write up an article about how a long, lone roadtrip (from KC to Twin Falls, ID in one shot) led me to Mr. Mojeaux. It is a bizarre story.
So Mr. M tried to run? I guess he couldn’t hide though.
He tried, but I knew a good catch when I saw him.
It is a bizarre story.
Go on…
Does it involve long distance stalking and astronaut diapers?
Yes.
Well now you’re going to have to go on.
A guy I had met online asked me (some time mid-January) to come to Twin Falls to see him for Valentine’s Day. I was down with that. I needed a roadtrip.
Three days before VD, he said, “Don’t come.” It pissed me off so badly, I said “Fuck you” and went anyway. A friend said, “What do you hope to accomplish?” I said, “To not get arrested for stalking.”
In between, I stopped at a truck stop (where Mr. Mojeaux was a manager). I stopped there on the way back, too. It so happened that we were both in the same chatroom, and he happened to mention he worked there. I said, “Oh, I was there just last week!” I described myself and he said, “I remember you! Yellow sweater, red hair.” (Actually, it’s strawberry blonde.)
ANYWAY, Mr. Mojeaux and I have not gone one day without speaking to each other since. That was 17 years, 2 kids, 4 cats, and 1 douchebag house ago.
Best decision I ever made.
🙂
You left out the part about the boob pic. Your demo of that cracked SP and me up the last time we had dinner with you and Mr. Mo.
I’ll defer.
Twin Falls
My family was like your Moj. Every summer was a road trip somewhere in the West, plus at least one camping trip per month somewhere in AZ.
My kids traveled a lot when they were young. My job moved us every three years (at a max time) so they lived overseas, coast to coast and north to south. On our free time was additional travel. We took them rock climbing, sailing, backpacking, hunting, fishing, travel to obscure places. As adults and parents they value it now, but there were some rough moments with new schools, houses etc.
Of course they probably would never had a chance for their dad to teach them how to jump a freight train and mom to pick us up 70 miles away. (Followed by a soak in a hot spring and a great Italian restaurant.)
We were always road tripping with our tow behind camper. Got real lucky to have seen and slept in (that’s the old mans metric) around 35 states before I turned 20. Best were road trips from NY to Montana to see the family. Far superior to flying if you have the time
Evan, thanks for the article. I love the photos.
I think Singapore is the most exotic place I have been, and that’s just a modern city with cool trees.
Gripping article, I got to the end and felt I had just been suddenly awoken out of a vivid dream. You have a great voice.
He does!
Perfect Metaphor for the Jussy Smollett story.
https://youtu.be/hNWBsWihYjM
Jussie*
Fun read, thanks! The few times I’ve done solo traveling I’ve actually enjoyed. My problem is a horrible sense of direction.
Getting lost is all a matter of attitude. You can get bent out of shape about the fact that you don’t know where you are (like my wife) or you can accept the fact that you are merely taking the “scenic route” (like me).
My theory is that it is pretty hard to get so lost permanently. So you might as well take advantage of the chance to see new territory.
I have this impression of myself that I’d get very agitated if I don’t have a clear idea of how to get back to a known path from where I am. It just seems to me like the way I’d respond.
But I did get lost in a foreign land once, and never once in the two and a half hours I spent driving around Nottingham did I get agitated. I did eventually stop at a tesco to buy a map and a diet coke. With the map I found the damned roundabout I needed and found the hotel.
I also got lost in Ohio Amish country because I got off the highway. The beige dirt that got all over my rear windshield was a bigger irritant than not knowing where I was going.
Oddly Japan is somewhat stressful because of my partial literacy. Either being clueless or fluent in the local language is less stressful to me.
But I’m probably in the middle – depends on where I’m lost.
That is why I really love unplanned itinerary driving vacations. See something cool? Go look at it. Take the back road path across a new State. Other than a couple places in the desert west (I had one very very long tired/scared I was going to run out of gas evening/night driving across Utah) you are never more than a couple hours from a place to rent a room, so who cares if you get lost and can’t make your next destination that day.
Blue highways. How my brother and I almost split a red roof inn room with a pimp in Charleston WV.
Great photos and and beautiful writing. Thank you!
LIFE IS MEANINGLESS SUFFERING.
http://archive.is/O2A9I
Njoi.
Nihilist or Existentialist?
Existentialists are cowards.
They are, in fact, cowards because they lack the conviction to embrace what the logic of their philosophy dictates: that nihilism is the only logical conclusion for existence.
Therefore, you are left with an illogical leap of faith to continue living, or accept the logical inherent meaninglessness of your own insect existence.
There is no middle ground.
Very nice writing style! Evan you should write up your experiences as an expat/wanderer and find a publisher. I think it would sell.
Excellent, Evan! You are a talented writer and I dig the photos.
It’s been more than an Evan since I travelled alone. Luckily Mrs. Tundra and the Spawn are fantastic travel companions. I kind of doubt I’ll ever make it to that part of the world, so it’s cool to live vicariously!
I travel. But only to other websites.
Rev. Arthur L. Kirkland|2.21.19 @ 1:24PM|#
The complaint appears to regard “activist” as a derogatory term, apparently consequent to the lack of self-awareness that would enable an author to recognize how that term would fit a Trump hat-wearing Kentucky teenager who travels hundreds of miles by bus to advocate criminally enforced statist womb management.
Good lord. Also, band name.
So much for Robby’s red-pill.
From the comments:
Really? I mean Reason clearly made a mistake banning some of the best libertarian commenters like Michael Hihn and Palin’s Buttplug. But I think you’re overstating how bad things are.
Reason has a banhammer now?
They’ve always had a banhammer, but you have to be pretty egregious to have it exercised on you. See also White Indian.
But she just wanted to gambol probably with the other White Indian Elizabeth Warren. Really wished she would wander off into the wilderness. Would have lasted 3-4 days tops.
They banned ME, so that should tell you something.
And straff at least once.
did they ban anyone over the sheepocalypse?
Wow! Buttplug got banned?
Surprised if they banned Buttplug. His schtick was tiresome but I don’t remember anything they should have deemed ban-worthy.
I’m pretty sure that’s whichever Tulpa ran the Rollo handle.
I think Arthur Kirkland is somebody who came over from the Volokh Conspiracy.
He was, but I still think it’s the same guy as Tulpa Rollo. It would not surprise me for the same person to troll multiple libertarianish sites. Hell, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen some of you at other sites posting under different names (though sometimes with the same profile pics.)
Man, I haven’t been over there in years…it certainly hasn’t improved since then.
I don’t agree with his characterization of legislation against abortion, but as far as his larger point:
What? That “activist” is a descriptor that has the same meaning when applied to a teenager on a school trip as it does to a WaPo columnist?
Next you are going to tell me that Kirsten Gillibrand is interchangeable with Cato, since they are both senators.
Thanks everyone!
This was a weird one for me to write and thanks for putting up with it. My two years in Singapore with the ex was one of the more formative of my life. This was when I was 27-28 years old and feels like a major turning point for me. Along with the good times, this time is irrevocably linked with many dark lessons that I had to learn. I study the Singapore years and constantly try to understand where and how I made mistakes, and how to avoid repeating them.
Most of these lessons involve the ex and our relationship. It was very hard and uncomfortable to make the story so personal, but it simply isn’t possible for me to separate these travels from that bittersweet era. So I decided to make this trip the vessel to express some of the turmoil that was omnipresent. It’s why this took me such a long time to write.
It kinda feels like finishing this project is the funeral pyre that will let me fully unpack this baggage and be done with it.
As always, special thanks to TPTB that provide a platform to share my and everyone’s work with a lovely (..mostly) audience.
Evan this was a great read, flawed only in that it wasn’t much longer. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us and I do hope you continue to do so.
Hey, it’s not a travel guide. The development of your relationship is very relevant to this trip. For you. Of course, it should be here. For example, the things that happened around 9/11 to the relationship that I had at the time matter to me. It would be hard for me to avoid bringing this up if I were talking about that time.
I think most of us have events in our lives that we’d like to redo or forget, mistakes made along the way. There seems to be no shortage of them. I watch my kids and grown up grand daughters making heart breaking decisions that I’m sure they will later regret. Watching my daughter try to undo a mistake from 30 years ago is tough.
All we can offer is our patience and love as a parent.
OT – Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse is, far and away, the best Marvel film yet. Amazing animation, very dynamic cinematography, and a well-written story combine to produce a sum larger than its parts.
Animation is and always was the proper venue for comic book films.
Agreed, and in this case, it’s stunning. There is a fluid mix of styles/techniques and the ability to animate human faces with realistic emotions really shines. Also, Peter Porker – The Spectacular Spider-Ham… ’nuff said true believers.
Eh. The Watchmen wouldn’t be half as good if it were an animated film.
Animated penes just don’t have the same gravitas as live-action.
I enjoyed it as well, my only only gripes are the designs of some of the bad guys. But I can get over that pretty easily.
Plus, the nephews really enjoyed it. And the younger one wasn’t expecting the reveal of the Prowler.
I concur with this assessment and highly approve of the 1930s Noir Spiderman.
This was awesome Evan. Thank you!
What he said.
Good writing indeed. I’m looking forward to the rest of your story.
I used to travel before the kids. I have backpacked a dozen countries or so – sometimes one country per trip and sometimes a string of countries in series. The longest stretch was about 5 months straight – started in Phoenix and ended up in Tokyo, the long way around.
I got my wife used to it as well but only on short trips – one or two weeks. Australia, Thailand, Andalucía, Germany…