A decade ago, most people had never heard of Burning Man. Telling someone you were going or had been, would mostly get you blank stares. If you got any other reaction it was probably a very positive one as most people who did know about it found it enthralling and either had been themselves or really wanted to go but hadn’t had the chance for whatever reason.
Fast forward to 2019, and nearly everyone has heard of the now infamous ‘biggest party in the world’ held 90 miles north of Reno, NV in the Black Rock Desert each year during the week before Labor Day. Nowadays, media reports and social media influencers are where most people get their knowledge of the event. Because of this, misconceptions abound as to what Burning Man actually is, and how its culture is spreading throughout society.
In order to counter a lot of this lack of knowledge, misconceptions, and preconceived notions about Burning Man, I’m writing up a three-part series. This first part mostly talks about background information, basic infrastructure, how the event works, and its ethos/culture. Part two will be focused on theme camps and events. Part three will cover art works/emplacements and mutant vehicles.
I’ve been to six burns, most recently in 2016, and have watched it go from a niche counterculture to having mainstream mass appeal. Several friends of mine have been more times than I, stretching many years further back in time, which was how I was introduced to this pseudo-alternate reality world which resembles an odd hybrid of communist central planning and techno-libertarian societies.
It used to be that you only went to this event if you knew someone who had already been and could effectively serve as your mentor. As the Burning Man Organization is fond of saying: this is not a festival. If you are ill prepared, you very well may die. It’s happened. You used to have to sign a waiver back in the days before they had on-site ambulance service, medical tents, and a helicopter at the ready to take you to Reno. It’s an extremely harsh environment with many hazards, be they natural or man-made.
That said, this was always part of the appeal, and many people bring their kids as young as three regardless of these risks. It always felt like a sort of frontier. There wasn’t even cell service until 2014 and no ubiquitous WiFi. Everyone wore a watch, an actual watch, just to tell them the time, and people kept their phones locked up. This is still the case for the early half of the burn, until the dreaded tourists show up around Thursday to stare at their phones and do glamor shoots for their Instagram accounts.
The tourists and narcissists are a relatively new phenomenon though. There were always some ‘weekend warriors’, but ‘sparkle ponies’ were the bigger nuisance for many years. The event first started in 1986 and only sold out for the first time in 2011. You used to be able to get a ticket whenever you wanted, or even at the gate, for as low as $100. Now it’s a mad rush to get one, so it ends up on many people’s bucket list who attend with no prior interest in or knowledge of the event’s culture and history.
The event is held on public land under Bureau of Land Management jurisdiction. They impose strict population limits, which have generally increased each year, and a slew of other restrictions regarding maintaining the natural environment, such as requiring the event’s perimeter be surrounded with a trash fence. It was the first “Leave No Trace” event, and they’ve done a rather good job of making sure you wouldn’t be able to tell it happened if you go beforehand or afterwards. However, ever increasing BLM fees and ever more demands from the 6 police departments with a presence there have driven the cost up to $425 minimum, unless you get a subsidized “low-income” ticket. On the high end, you can spend around $1,400 for one ticket plus another $100 for a vehicle pass.
All this gets you is access to the city, and it is indeed a city. The Burning Man Organization provides “roads”, which are just packed down dust sprayed regularly with water to keep them under control, road signs, a single Center Camp, about a dozen banks of porta potties, and The Man, which is lit on fire with an amazing firework display on Saturday night. Everything else in the city is brought and built by the attendees, although they’ve started placing “Black Rock Ranger” stations and medical tents around as well.
The attendees ARE the event. All the party locations are brought, built, and paid for by attendees, who often pay DJs big bucks to spin there, though the no-names are often better. There’s multiple competing post offices run entirely by burners. (Dis)information centers, “human car washes”, vehicle lockout services, playgrounds and trampoline parks, pretty much everything you’ll find was brought there by someone who thought it would be cool to have X, Y, or Z on ‘the playa’ and just did it out of their own pockets.
The BMOrg (often called ‘the borg’) also provides a theme for each year. This year is “metamorphosis”. Previous examples include “fertility”, “metropolis”, “good and evil”, “Da Vinci’s workshop” and many others throughout the years. There’s also “10 principles” the BMOrg tries to enforce on the event but have gotten somewhat lazy about recently. Leave No Trace is one of those, and they keep to it under threat of ruinous fines. Another big one is Decommodification, which basically means nothing can be bought, sold, or traded.
Burning Man runs on a ‘gifting economy’. The only concession they make on this is ice and coffee, which the BMOrg sells around the city. Other than that, everything is free. If you see a restaurant offering pancakes, they’ll be given to you at no charge. If you stop by a clothing store, feel free to grab a shirt and pants, which will likely have been ‘gifted’ to the store itself at some point. My wife and I often gift necklaces.
In the past, anyone could set up a restaurant. Starting in 2013 though, the Nevada Health Department started requiring any restaurants gifting food to the general public to get permits and be inspected. This also applies to large private kitchens serving camps of 125 or more. Never accept gifts of food that aren’t factory sealed though unless you (a) are getting it from a restaurant, (b) know and trust the source, (c) don’t mind the chance of getting drugged, or (d) ask if the food contains drugs. People are usually honest on (d) if you ask, but a camp next door to mine one year took a bunch of Altoids from a stranger without thinking to ask and they turned out to be laced with LSD. Whoops. Welcome to Burning Man.
A lot of this stuff and more is what veteran burners usually tell people right off the bat to weed people out. We also like to toss in factoids like “there’s no showers so be prepared to be sweaty and smelly for a week”, “there’s no dumpsters so you have to pack out all your own trash”, “you need to prepared to bring, store, and cook a week’s worth food”, “you’re likely to run out of gas”, “there’s dubstep playing LITERALLY ALL THE TIME”, “dust storms = whiteout conditions on a moments notice”, “police will arrest you for driving 1mph over the speed limit”, and a few other tropes that boil down to “burning man sucks, don’t go.” Yes, there’s a lot of sex, drugs, and nudity, but we don’t usually talk about or emphasize those parts. They’re just one small part of the greater whole.
That’s all just part of the culture. It’s definitely a harsh climate that most Americans or really anyone ‘civilized’ could go crazy in, and veterans try to keep out too many clueless virgins (the term used for first-time burners) who just want to go to a big exclusive weeklong party. For those virgins who do go, there’s a lot of other rubs and insider false knowledge (paging Not Adahn) spread to mess with them and identify fakers. “Daft Punk is playing at the trash fence” is the biggest of these. Anyone who says they saw Daft Punk at the trash fence is BSing you.
First-timers who don’t have any sort of mentor can generally make do by joining up with a larger camp. Many people in these camps have multiple burns under their belt and will make sure newbies have a pleasant experience. These camps usually cost money to join though, from a few hundred to a few thousand bucks, to pay for all the amenities they bring for their campmates and the general public. Considering most attendees are already looking at several thousand in expenses ($425 ticket +$100 vehicle pass + $200-$500 gas + $500-$1500 airfare/vehicle rental) just to get there and back home, many may not be willing or able to fork over more money to join a camp where they’ll probably also be required to work shifts and help with setup/breakdown before and after the burn. You’ll also need to take more time off work.
If you’re flush with cash, you can usually buy your way out of every issue. This fact really pisses off most veteran burners, because “buying your burn” runs completely counter to the event’s culture in many ways. Radical self-reliance (one of the 10 principles) means “building your burn” and adapting to the harsh climate in your own way, such that you survive the event, thrive, and have a great time doing it. Having to rely on yourself (and/or a small contingent of friends) for the week while having a blast amidst a city that didn’t exist a month before your arrival is what sparks the life changing experiences many people, myself included report after attending.
Next time, we’ll dive into the backbone of Black Rock City: theme camps and the events they offer.
Shit, I preferred the olden days of Laconia motorcycle races and the crowd that attracted…
All the cries of “Show us your tits”…
My best friend in HS and general weirdo is/was a long time Burning Man attendee. He wanted me to go but I never did, and probably never will.
Anyhoo – years ago he setup a BB shooting gallery where anyone could take turns shooting cans that had little pictures on them. Only when people asked or looked closer did they realize they were knocking off cans with the victims of the Columbine shooting. Just goes to show you what kind of humor my friend has/had.
These days he’s super left so our conversation rarely go into politics.
I’ve considered setting up a camp where people can shoot at old cell phones. Cause who hasn’t wanted to shoot their phone at some points?
Do they burn furniture there too?
It’s not Morgantown
If it burns, they burn it
*raises hand*
I usually want to shoot whoever invented to robodialar, and anyone who think’s it’s acceptable to make mass cold calls to people who don’t want to talk to them.
Pictured – my friend – and noted Theremin player
https://i.imgur.com/bLhx66H.jpg
Theremin is for autistics and Beach Boys
Obligatory
A+ Troll.
There is always plent of trolling at Burning Man as evidenced by the header photo on their website.
Fuck I should know better than to use HTML tags on my phone.
http://barbiedeathcamp.com/
6 time Burner here – 2002, 04, 10,11,12, and 2013 was the last time I went.
Burning Man is and always will be going corporate, is and always will have been better last year, is and always will be full of tourists Who Are Not as Cool As Us.
I worked for Arctica 2010-2013, shunting trailers full of Ice from gate to one of the three Ice retail locations. I’ve honked my airhorn at many smiling and topless denizens of BRC. Met my wife there in 2011, and recommitted our wedding vows at Church Trap in 2013.
Fuck I miss that place. Maybe next year.
Of relevance to all the refugees here from TOS – I arranged to meet Brian Doherty ‘On Playa’ in 2012, and he came for a ride with me while I moved a trailer. Good conversation for the short time we hung out.
That’s pretty cool. You never know who you’ll meet there. I remember a lot of hang-wringing over Grover Norquist attending a few years back
Have you ever heard his appearance on CATO describing his experiences there? Good stuff.
https://www.cato.org/events/catodigital-libertarian-lessons-burning-man
No, I hadn’t. Thanks for sharing
Also, I drove this art installation down from Toronto in 2010. I had met one of the people working on it at a PsyTrance party, got yapping about Burning Man, when I told her I was a trucker, she hooked me up with Christine in the video here, and I was hired to haul their piece. Good times.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cRqrTGp45Zg
Super cool!
We’re looking into 2020 as well. Gave 2019 serious consideration, but don’t have the cash on hand to justify it this time around.
+1 old NYC
Not my thing, but cool write up, thanks.
That was surprising, but I guess it shouldn’t have been.
Seconded. Thanks, Subwoofer!
There’s something for everyone, but its definitely not for everyone. I used to tell everyone they should go, but stopped long ago.
I like solitude. Can I find that there?
No, Solitude is up on the north coast. Look for the stone arch with the town on top of it.
There’s absolutely solitude. Head out to “deep playa” and you’ll basically be surrounded by desert.
My first year I hooked up with this girl I met and we didn’t have any place to go, so we just rode in a straight line until we were surrounded by nothingness and did it there.
Going Deep on Deep Playa. Atta boy.
Subwoofer’s pick up as acted by Ringo Starr
Atook aloon da Lana! Side note- my teen-aged nickname was “Lar”!
I knew it was not for me from the git go but “dubstep playing LITERALLY ALL THE TIME” seals that deal and throws out the key.
Not only that, but it follows you. Art cars are usually equipped with massive soundsystems and will roll up on you blaring dubstep.
They implemented “EDM Zones” a few years ago to cut down on this, but I’m not sure how effective it’s been.
The only rational response to a sonic assault is to shoot out the speakers and perform a finishing execution on the driver.
I think we need more firepower.
It’s only dubstep all the time if you don’t know the difference between serious flavors of dance music. I think dubstep peaked in 2012.
There’s a lot more psytrance lately it seems. Dubstep is certainly not the only music, but you can certainly always find it playing somewhere.
Unless that changed in the last two years.
GaH! to all that.
*Steeples hands, bows head* Amen!
One of the cool things about glibs is that I learn a ton about stuff that I’ll never come close to doing. Burning man is so far out of my web of interests that it would never cross my mind to even read about it, let alone go. However, it’s fascinating reading about it here.
Hey Trashy, see my link above where Grove Nordquist talks about his trips to Burning Man at CATO. It’s a good listen.
I would have glommed onto that when I was young and hippy-esh but now it just sounds extremely annoying and the polar opposite of what a free-fest is supposed to mean. Fuck yer rules! Dub-step? Fuck the horse you rode in on! Sounds like a nightmarish scenario from one of Dante’s circles.
Not at all. If you have a good crew you’re camping with and stay away from the big sound systems, even cranky old pricks have a great time there.
Yeah, I’m being a cranky old man but this whole thing sounds like a scam and I’ve been intrigued by Burning Man for twenty years. Sorry if I came off like a butt-plug but my tolerance for tom-foolery is sorely tested when I hear descriptions of the event. I was an artsy-fartsy drug-swiller back in the day but it sounds so manufactured and not in the least like what I’d enjoy on a three day acid binge.
It gets worse every year. The whole point back in the way was to be the antithesis of a manufactured corporate event with mass appeal, but they get further and further from that as time goes on.
Nowadays its almost like they loved results from the spontaneous order that happened one year a while ago and try to recreate that year every year, with superficial differences and rotating in new artwork
Believe it or not, people do go there to catch up on sleep. That shocked me to learn.
I… can’t imagine that’s worth the admission cost. I’ll charge $100 less and they can sleep in my basement. Pitch black, no noise, and I’ll even cook breakfast in the morning.
Yep. Shocking. If you want to sleep in for a week, get an AirBnB.
A hamock, a tarp, and a reservation on some state park would be cheaper. Plus *they* don’t get all huffy when you piss on the trees.
Plus *they* don’t get all huffy when you piss on the trees.
You can piss on my trees all you want. It’s the masturbating into the houseplants that gets me huffy.
HARVEY WEINSTEIN GOT IN YOUR HOUSE?!
>You can piss on my trees all you want.
*files this away*
*Plans a very, very elaborate prank to be executed in about 2029*
the old punker in me reads this, and has only one reaction…..”Fuckin’ hippies….”
‘Old punkers’ Make up most of the people who ‘build’ Black Rock City, the BRC DPW crew. They are quite the bunch and I must admit, they are how I imagine the people from this site to be IRL.
Veteran burner [gods I hate that identification], and Black Rock Ranger. If you are out there, look for (or listen to) Radio Electra, 89.9 on your playa dial – we are a techno free zone. That is where I camp (and radio DJ). I would love to have someone wander into camp looking for a fellow glibertarian.
The me in me reads this, and has only one reaction…..”That’s some white people shit….”
It’s pretty white, but not exclusively
One of these days HM will join Kmele on the race abolition train. Except when he’s trollin, and thank fuck for that.
Speaking as someone who was likely conceived in the back of a Volkwagon Rabbit in the parking lot of a Grateful Dead show… Yes, I agree.
So you’re saying you have diminutive parents?
No, not particularly. Just thought they were really sticking it to their Catholic upbringing’s shame-based restrictions on behavior (but not rebellious enough to use contraceptive, than the Lord…)
Then how did they fit in the back of a Volkswagen Rabbit?
Hatchback
You know, It’s difficult not to make a Mallrats reference here.
I’ve really been doing my best to t you up for that, and I want you to know that you personally have disappointing me here.
It’s actually really easy.
IF one more person says they see a Sailboat…
Yeah that’s my take too – my friend wanted me to go when I was super busy with the punk / trad skin thing here in town. Now I just to feel too damn old and cynical to enjoy Burning Man.
Nobody is too old for Burning Man. The age range is like 3 to 90. And you’d think for Lord Humungus it’d be paradise on Earth!
Lord Humungus would be at Thunderdome every night, guaranteed.
Probably officiating.
Part 2 actually discusses Thunderdome. I got challenged to a fight there once, but couldn’t find the guy when the time came. Chicken.
Speaking of Lord Humungous, that was built by a guy that camps with us occasionally.
Maybe old/cynical is the wrong word – but I sure do hate great swaths of humanity. /most of the peeps here excluded
My wife and I loathe other people in general. We leave Burning Man reconsidering that default position, but that doesn’t last long and each year we reconsider it less and less.
I know of burning man because I liked to look at Brook Burke 20 years ago.
I liked the Malcolm in the Middle episode where the whole family goes to Burning Man.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4vj3xp
The second cookie is the antidote for the poison in the first. Lois would never kill one of her boys, but she likes to know she could. Never isn’t the right word, because she could. And she might. And she probably will.
Of all of the TV show treatments – that one totally rocks it.
“Duplicate Comment Detected”? I was intentionally repeating myself!
We all say that, UCS. All.
“Christ, what a bunch of assholes.”
Stinking hippies. That is by far the most eggregious affront to common decency I’ve ever heard of.
So no calls of “how much for your women?”. Saw that happen at Laconia…
How do they expect this not to degenerate into savagery if there is no trade?
There is trade, often taking the form of ‘payment in kind’, for those with the correct genetics.
Also, like any other market, there is a black one – drugs in quantity have never been free anytime I’ve ever bought them there.
That said, I picked up some of the beer cocaine I’ve ever had down there, and relatively cheap compared to Reality Camp prices.
True, there’s definitely ‘trade’ as (for many people at least) its hard to just accept being given something without feeling you owe something in return. In my experience its just meant that if I’m ‘gifted’ something, I’ll ‘gift’ something else back to that person later.
STEVE SMITH BIGGEST GIFTER OF THEM ALL
STEVE SMITH VISIT BURNING MAN! AND BY VISIT MEAN…
They’re always afraid of a STEVE SMITH style predator making it on to the playa, but it never seems to happen and incidents there are even lower than they are in a normal city of that population for that timeframe.
Beer? *best
Where’s the edit button?
Wait, “Beer Cocaine” isn’t a thing?
IK,R?
+1 Christopher Walken’s bond villain
If it ran longer than a week that would quickly become an issue. As it is, it works fine since you know going into it that everything is temporary and you’ve hopefully stocked up on everything you need in advance.
It’s kind of like how people do those challenges where you spend no money during a given week or month, but effectively cheat by spending a whole bunch in advance to prepare for the known temporary upcoming austerity period.
Many of the big art installation, theme camp, sound system, and BMorg crews are out there for 2-4 weeks (more for DPW) and yeah, come prepared. People get real crusty after that much time out there.
I empathize. I got a bit crabby being out in the desert for a while myself.
HI SWISS!
But you got to shoot at things and watch the locals romance their camels & goats…
Sound like you need a new set of clubs.
GORD!
True dat, and those crews usually have major infrastructure with continuous deliveries coming. There may not be official trade within the borders of the city, but there a lot of trade outside of it to support the lack thereof within.
I know I gift all my extra nonperishable foodstuffs to DPW on the way out cause who wants to be there cleaning up for over a month?
Except it costs hundreds or even thousands of Gringo dollars to attend and if you fuck up you have to buy your way out. I’d rather visit Tijuana.
Parts 2 and 3 go into more detail about why its a cooler place to vacation than, say, Mexico. Do they have a 60 foot tall Charlie the Unicorn car that shoots fire out of the horn in Mexico?
I know, I know… I’m just being a curmudgeon.
>It was the first “Leave No Trace” event
WellAKshuale, Boy Scout and many other events have been LNT for a decade before the first Burning Man.
^^^That guy.
I will leave a trace if I have to sear california off the coast with a space laser to do it!
It’s a lovely day at the beach, and I’m livestreaming today’s Glibs meetup.
Was that Playa Manhattan?!
In the pink thong?
Yes.
*snort*
Nope
Funny, I was reading about microdosing just now and wondered how a man gets hold of the stuff.
::pssttt:: meet me by the corner near OMWC’s van and I’ll set you up.
It’s a trap!
Thanks for this! I’m really intrigued by Burning Man even as the very thought of it makes me tired. I could see myself being really into it twenty years ago. Now? Too many people, too much effort. The “spontaneous order” aspect is really interesting to me. I wonder what would happen if it was a permanent, year-round type of thing.
Don’t you remember Yusef’s desert village traveleogue? I’d imagine a permanant settlement would resemble that place.
It was These Two articles I was thinking of.
I wondered that as well for a long time and apparently they’re trying to make that a thing
“Bonk Bonk on the head”
I wonder what would happen if it was a permanent, year-round type of thing.
Without a coherent economic system? This.
Dammit. Brooksed it.
Still relevant. My friends and I lived communally for a summer. About twenty of us in a big ramshackle ranch house. Pooling our resources, sharing chores. It all went swimmingly until everyone started inevitably pairing off into bonded partnerships. Then came the hissy-fits, recriminations and blackened eyes. Thus ended the great experiment circa 1987. Sure was fun while it lasted, though… Fucking grasshoppers, we were.
See: Oneida Colony.
I’m honored, really.
It kind of sounds like despite the intent on the edges there are markets that form spontaneously, not to mention the ice and coffee being sold by the org itself. I would imagine if it went on for a month or more you’d start to see the gifting aspect turn into something like a social currency. Sort of like, X gave W, Y, and Z a bunch of useful or valuable stuff, so C, who gets stuff from W and Z, gives stuff to X. I’d also imagine connections to the outside world that can be relied on for resupply would become invaluable.
That would be almost certain. You can only give of yourself freely for so long before you start to resent freeloaders and want a way to keep track of who is pulling their weight.
Well besides resentment there’s just the practicality aspect. If you’ve got a limited amount of excess whatever to give, you want to give it to someone who is going to provide at least an indirect return on the investment. Shit, we used to have a couple of friends in our circle who would always mooch drinks at the club. We kept taking them with us because one was just charismatic as hell and would wind up getting us all free drinks somehow and the other would always stay sober enough to drive us back.
There was always another that trolled tail expertly (Sheepishly raises hand). We all have our quirks and foibles.
I concur that it’s nice to read a write up of an event I will never in a million years go to.
Having sex, shooting stuff and setting fires in the desert pretty much encompasses my wasted youth so I feel I got it out of my system.
Thanks for the info.
There’s no more guns allowed anymore. They search all incoming vehicles pretty thoroughly for weapons or unticketed hitchhikers.
Fires are also far more tightly controlled these days. You get some pretty awesome burns though.
No guns?
No thanks.
People started shooting dogs.
Their response was to ban both guns and dogs.
Shoot the people shooting dogs. It’s not that hard a problem to fix.
Same here. I dont go anywhere I cant bring a gun. Fuck that.
I can’t really say the same, I’m going to drive through Canada later this year…
Another reason not to go.
Who the Fuck is THEY?!
They can fuck right off.
OT: Isn’t this heart-warming!
At least she can afford the therapy that’s coming later.
FFS.
Well, so much for trying to chat Charlize up at the bar.
She was in my town, shooting a movie but I probably had to work that night!
Let’s celebrate child abuse, sterilization, castration and cutting off genitals once more!
When our forebearers did it, they at least produced castrati who sang beautiful soprano.
Now we just produce neurotic suicide risks.
To be fair, our forebearers also didn’t let boys wear pants until they were 8.
Also, FDR was a fag.
Not everything they did was correct, but the least we can endeavor to do is not be worse than they were.
…is the best caption I’ve seen in a long time.
Ugh.
At one of his checkups, the doctor asked my toddler if he was a boy or a girl. He said he was a girl.
He only recently really figured out that daddy is a boy and mommy is a girl. He still asks occasionally, presumably to verify that this is accurate.
3-year-olds don’t fully grasp the concept of gender. Stop progjecting.
The same with my nephew. He only had sisters and girl cousins, his mom wouldn’t cut his hair so other kids thought he was a girl, naturally he thought he was a girl, he hadn’t even gotten to the part of what a peepee does because he was still in diapers and just pissed whenever. (I had to potty train him because no one else thought it was priority)
You’re a good Uncle, CPRM!
My daughter, 4 in June, has only recently started using female pronouns. She’d use “his” and “he” as gender-neutral. She got plurals pretty quickly, but “her” and “she” took a minute.
So she’s a mexican?
Well my wife does speak Spanish and has a vaguely Columbian look about her. Irish-Italian mostly, no Hispanic anything, but the results are similar.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4_eSW6D6sc
“Charlize Theron revealed that her 7-year-old child Jackson is transgender.”
Of course she did.
Welp scratch her off the list of what my wife will allow in our bed…sigh
Word is that she’s looking.
She just wants a normal man to ask her out.
I’ve mentioned before that she’s been telling this tale for nearly thirty years. She filmed a movie in Prince George and complained that the guys in the bar were so put off by her beauty that none dared approach. Bull fucking shit,
Some women just give off the vibe of “come near me and I’ll stab you in the balls”.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case here.
Dudes in my town are a forward bunch. She lies.
A single woman who adopts 2 kids and decides one is transgender? Sounds like a real catch.
Yup. It’s hard to understand why she’s single. And by hard to understand I mean blindingly obvious.
Maybe. Or maybe at 3 years old, he wanted to be a girl just like the most important person in his life, a person who got REALLY excited when he said he wasn’t a boy, and rewarded him with lavish attention and praise.
OT (it’s been long enough right?): Orange Man Bad!
https://spectator.org/orange-man-bad/
Pretty much sums it up.
Attorney General Bill Barr looks like a grown-up version of Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”!
There’s no more guns allowed anymore.
Fires are also far more tightly controlled these days.
I’m possessed by the spirit of Brooks today, but I don’t want to hijack that conversation.
Perhaps this will be answered in future articles, but what is the draw if you’re not into drugs and permiscuous sex?
The default answer seems to be “you can do whatever you want”, but what do people actually do besides fuck and get high? My uninformed impression is that it’s like an arts fair mixed with a giant tailgate.
Is this a bunch of repressed city dwellers letting their freak flag fly because they can’t crank their music and talk with outside voices in their cloistered tenements? Is it a greatful dead concert x100?
To do whatever I want, I don’t go into a crowd of lots of people going crazy. This is counterproductive to achieving said aim.
This does get addressed in future articles, but the thrust is that you’ll see and experience things that exist nowhere else and really have no reason to exist, except that they’re awesome.
Also, I often describe the event as cramming a year of life and experiences into a single week. Most burners I’ve said that to tend to agree with that characterization.
Of course, as I also mention in the later parts, take any two people and drop them off at Burning Man and they’re likely to have two completely different experiences.
For example, if Burning Man was just a daytime affair, I’d probably never go. Of my waking hours there, perhaps only 25% are spent out of my own camp during the day, and its very uncommon for me to be in the same place for longer than 30 minutes after the sun goes down. There’s simply too much to see and experience that I’ll never find anywhere else and nowhere near enough time. Each year I maybe experience 10% of what the burn has to offer, and not for lack of trying.
but the thrust is that you’ll see and experience things that exist nowhere else and really have no reason to exist, except that they’re awesome.
Are we talking Hitler lookalike contests? Cirque de soleil? Patchouli sommelier classes? Rope suspension demos? Wet t-shirt contests? World’s largest ball of yarn? Chainsaw art? Battlebots? The rose parade, but with fire? Free dental clinic? Underwater basket weaving? DIY meth labs?
As you can tell, I have no frame of reference to even begin to understand what happens there.
Inquiring minds want to know.
In short, yes.
Its like Rule 34 – if you can imagine it, it’s at Burning Man. I’ll give some specific examples in parts 2 and 3, although underwater stuff doesn’t make much of an appearance. That said, some friends of mine have discussed bringing a massive fish tank for people to swim in, but the omnipresent dust makes it impractical.
I CAN IMAGINE GUNSSSSSSZZZZ
Psst – there actually are guns, they just don’t get out in the open (short of the LEOs carrying).
If you really want to shoot and kinda do Burning Man, you go to 4th of July out there (colloquially 4th of Juplaya). It is a throwback to the first few years of the event.
What is Burning Man?
Something you need penicillin to get rid of?
Little Big Man.
Wait… someone read one of my articles? But yes, like everythign else, there is very little new under the sun re: esotericism.
While I enjoy hippie communes and dubstep as much as the next person, I am not a desert creature. Nor am I swamp creature. I basically just like being clean.
You’re so square you’re a cube, Man…
But a hygienic cube!
My girlfriend from high school goes with her husband every year. He goes for the shrooms and acid, she goes to have strangers run a train on her.
Wherever the orgy camp is, she’s hanging out there.
The orgy camp used to be prominently featured. It’s been moved back a few streets further every year recently.
>> she goes to have strangers run a train on her.
Woot! Just like the Democrats!
Gack. I can’t even…
Different strokes for different folks and all, but I’m very much a traditionalist in that regard.
There’s a reason we broke up.
Nice girl. Hot. Smart. Absolutely desperate for male attention. Not the kind of girl you’d want to fall in love with.
**Follows Playa Manhattan’s ex girlfriend out of the convenience store**
Oops! I seemed to have dropped my MAGNUM CONDOMS. Can someone pleas help me pick up that package of MAGNUM CONDOMS?
Holds MAGNUM CONDOMS in one hand and my box of large trash bags in the other.
“HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY… wimpy wimpy wimpy”
Frank has you covered.
‘Try not to suck anymore dick on the way to your car!’
/Dante
I was part of the group that did “security” for the Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest for several years.
Snow is almost gone now, so I went out and did some trimming on my apple trees. Now the middle finger on each hand is going crazy twitchy. WTF?
Which of…
Which of these are euphemisms?
And I just found a woodtick on me, you can’t get a disease that quick from them, can you?
No but… If you get a “bullseye” mark around the tick bite, go see the doc and ask for a Lyme test.
I actually don’t think I got bit, felt it crawlin around, just pissed off, not even all the snow is gone and ticks are out already, damnit.
I’ve had the same experience. They are remarkably tough little bastards. Must have anti-freeze for blood.
Well akshually no, but they essentially hibernate in the leaf litter or stay attached to a host. Moose up here get them pretty bad and can die of exposure because they rub all the hair off from trying to scratch them off.
Generally no, but they seem to be finding new diseases those little fuckers carry every year and you never know. I found a couple this week for the first time. I was still wearing snowshoes this week. Time to break out the death chemicals I guess.
That is your excuse for flipping us all off?!
I usually say Tourettes, but people are catching on.
CPRM in a few days…
CPRM in a couple days…
Imagine the intro scene of Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys. That will be you in a few days. The site keeps eating my link to the video.
Who needs an excuse?
I’ve had my hands get a little twitchy when I’ve maintained a tight grip for a long time.
And y’all are welcome for that slow one I just tossed right over the plate.
minocycline. Extended low dose. 100mg per day for a year.
No bugs develop immunity from it, no serious side effects. The only side effect you may notice is hyperpigmentation if you get too much sun.
So we get’s to be Black? With my luck I’d just turn into a walking freckle.
Another nice day in Vegas. Roast is on the smoker to be used in chili that is simmering on the stove. Make some cornbread later to compliment.
Off to the garage to work on the trailer.
Damn man. Will you adopt me?
It was cold and foggy this morning. Took the 4 year old to watch planes land at LAX, and we couldn’t see anything.
Yeah, socked in all day.
I have a number of friends from the bay area that go every year..
Also some others that fly into BRC airport, which has its own separate scene.
https://mooneyspace.com/topic/23771-landing-at-burning-man/
The Playa is hell on aviation parts.
Sometimes I read the comments on this board and then find my life choices sorely lacking. And then I open another beer.
It turns out I’m eminently boring.
Right now if I’m going to spend a week camping it is going to be at Oshkosh with this group:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjT91Mt8N5Q
I did the formation training in 2017, but couldn’t fit the week of vacation in.
We have a number of other events during the year. Panama City, Sun N Fun.
I’ve tried to find a Glib meet up that I can fly to, but nothing has matched yet.
My brother did all of those in his veryeasy back around 1992 or so.
in 1992 my family was on a vacation to see some of the national parks of the west. Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Glacier etc..
We flew the Cessna 172 into Rapid City airport, and tried to get a rental car.. (Rushmore/Black Hills)
*sorry* no rental cars, it’s is the Sturgis bike rally. My father: “Don’t they have motorcycles? What do they need rental cars for?” We were able to get a rent-a-wreck the next day.. and a hotel room..
Flew on to Cody WY.. and ran into the next MC rally. (no rental cars left there either, but a different story)
Kids these days, going from Candy Crush to Kitten Crush. (We The Internet TV)
Why? Why did you pollute my drunken mind with imagery foul?
Remember Bonsai Kitten?
Oh Christ,someone playing the worst country songs ever on the jukebox.
Mid-90’s stuff? Bro Country? Do tell!
I don’t know some banel ass shit. Started with something “I used to Love you Sober” and didn’t get better from there. I have Grand Funk Railroad playing now:)
Perfectly adequate.
Worst good or worst bad?
I’d have taken worst good for sure.
I definitely want to not do this someday.
Good plan. We can not do that together.
I’m just not doing well at all this week. I got the SSD (this thing is tiny – shorter than a credit card, no wider than my thumb, maybe twice as thick as a credit card, but hold 2TB) and installed it in the desktop. Am working to install windows there now. The upgrade to linux on the server bombed, now it won’t boot. I’m going to see if I can get a recovery session and fix that. 🙁
That IS a small penis, Son. Have you considered surgery or will you just pretend to be a man for appearance’s sake?
Fucking hipsters. They destroy everything they touch.
Shit-kicking good ole boy is the new cool! Yeehaw!
Speaking of SSDs- I got a computer last summer from the computer junkyard. I told the guy I had no use for whatever enormous hard drive was in it, so he said he’d swap a small(er) SSD in for a nominal fee. That thing is fast fast fast. Unfortunately, it is a Windows 10 machine.
I hate it so much I hardly ever turn the stupid thing on. My antediluvian acer laptop with linux just keeps chugging along.
Careful, I here tell that some of those SSD’s never go away, no matter what the old Gypsy lady said!
I had an old acer netbook with Linux on it. It worked for 8 or 9 years until something in the PSU broke, making it go into reboot cycles every 90 seconds or so when the power cuts off.
Not bad for a $120 refurb.
Get an external drive and put Linux on it.
I run 10 on my ssd laptop. It hauls ass. Boots immediately. Quicker than a progress bar can appear. Don’t really mind 10 either.
no matter what the old Gypsy lady said!
You mean I sacrificed a perfectly good goat for nothing?
You were supposed to fuck it first. Gotdamn newbies….
Two words, Slab City
I enjoyed the article and am looking forward to the next installments. It’s not really my thing anymore. We considered it back 20 plus years ago or so, but being young and poor we didn’t want to go that far to get drunk and high at a crazy party.
I really enjoyed reading about this, but would never go (not now or when I was younger). I’d love to see all the art, but camping on the playa is not for me. Thanks for writing about it.
Bringing an RV helps a lot if you can find a good deal, but it won’t keep the dust out. I’d love to post all the pictures and video I have but can only cram so much into a post