*SPACE SMITH not included

The Cryptid of the Week order of presentation got a bit scrambled. OK, we lost it. Rather than try to hash out who/what would link when, we asked all three of our very special contributors to give us a hand tonight. First up, the Senior Vortex Correspondent, Zardoz.

THE CORONA EFFECT IS MOST FLATTERING.

 

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE TABERNACLE HAS SCANNED THE CHOSEN ONES COMMENTARY AND ARTICLE CONTRIBUTIONS SINCE LAST ZARDOZ SPOKE. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. ZARDOZ WAS PREPARED TO THRILL ALL OF YOU WITH THE STORY OF THE GUN WIELDING, NEARLY AN EVIL PENIS SELF-ELIMINATING BRUTAL THAT KEPT ILLICIT SUBSTANCE STORED IN HIS ANAL CAVITY…HOWEVER, THE CHOSEN ONES MIGHT HAVE ALREADY NOTICED IT. THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK FROM ZARDOZ!

  • ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW HE CAN GET A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE NEWSPAPER MENTIONED IN THIS STORY. WHILE A BIT PUZZLED AT THIS PROCLAMATION; “In a rare video published by IS’s Al Furqan network in April, the group’s leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi encouraged followers to fight on and weaken the enemy by attrition, stressing that waging war is more important than winning.” ZARDOZ WILL ACCEPT ANY RESULT THAT LEADS TO CONTINUED CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Well, I have to say, it is nice to see that Zardoz keeps track of all of your comments and contributions. For all his demands for “cleansing”, I think he may be a bit of a softie inside. Next up, our Senior Cascadia Correspondent, STEVE SMITH.

IT GOOD BOOK!

STEVE SMITH GLAD BE HERE. HIM FLY IN FROM CASCADIA…AND ARMS TIRED! STEVE SMITH WANT TRY HAND AT COMEDY, LIKE COUSIN SEA SMITH. HIM NEED LEARN MORE JOKES. ASK BEAR, MOOSE AND RACCOONS, BUT THEM NOT VERY FUNNY. SO STEVE SMITH RAPE BEAR, EAT MOOSE AND USE RACCOON AS LOOFAH. NOW THAT HILARIOUS! BUT FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE WANT LINK, SO STEVE SMITH FIND GOOD LINK. AND HIM GIVE LINK. TO YOU.

  • STEVE SMITH SAD SEE PART OF CASCADIA WEAK AND HELPLESS. 100 HOBOS TERRORIZE BIG CITY. SO HIM OFFER HELP. BY HELP, MEAN RAPE TROUBLE MAKING HOBOS.

 

SAD SMITH

FREE CASCADIA!

Free Cascadia indeed, Steve. With that, we come to our final contributor for the night. SEA SMITH, our Senior Maritime Correspondent.

SEA SMITH HAVE FUNNY FRIENDS!

 

SEA SMITH GLAD SEE COUSIN STEVE SMITH TRY JOKES! SEA SMITH GOOD JOKE TELLER. WHY FISH BLUSH? IT SEE OCEAN’S BOTTOM! HAHAHAHAHA! SEE WHAT SEA SMITH MEAN? BUT YOU NOT HERE FOR JOKE. YOU WANT LINK. SEA SMITH FIRST SAY MAP NOT HIM! … MAYBE SOME “BOARDED”, IYKWSSMAITYD!

  • THIS MAKE SEA SMITH SMILE. HE LIKE SEA CUCUMBER. THEY GOOD IN SALAD. MAKE GOOD PICKLE. NO EAT IN LITTLE SANDWICH…SEA SMITH NOT ENGLISH.

COME IN, WATER IS FINE!

Well…that was interesting. Thank you SEA. And thank you all for tuning in for tonight’s Links! See you in the comments.