HOLA, LOS ESCOGIDOS.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ NOTES THE CONTINUING GOOD WORK OF THE CHOSEN ONES, AND REWARDS THEIR EFFORTS. KEEP UP THE SNARKING AT THE BRUTALS, REMEMBERING THAT THE GUN IS GOOD. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

BY POPULAR DEMAND (I.E. THE CHOSEN ONE “CHAFED”, SP, SUGARFREE, ETC) ZARDOZ WILL DEAL WITH A VERY SPECIAL PAIR OF ADVICE BITS FROM THE WITLESS BRUTALS AT SLATE.

 

Q: I came out as trans to my parents when I was a teenager. They weren’t supportive, and I was sent to see a psychologist I didn’t feel comfortable talking to. I felt so guilty about the high copays that I claimed it was “just a phase” and even managed to sort of convince myself. I’m now in my early 30s, have a great career, and am engaged to a wonderful woman, but I still experience the desire to transition. My fiancée knows I saw a therapist when I was a teenager, but she doesn’t know the details, and it’s weighing on me. In the last three years I’ve been having recurring dreams where I get to be a woman, and when I wake up, I feel so depressed I can’t even get out of bed. I just want to fall back asleep and dream again. My question is twofold: Do I owe my fiancée an explanation? Do I call off the wedding? I don’t even know where to go from here. Part of me wants to keep things as they are, looking forward to these dreams as they come up and thinking about what could have been. The other part of me wants to scream who I truly am to the world and deal with it, even if that means losing everything.

A: ZARDOZ HAS CONSULTED THE TABERNACLE, AS IT HAS THE WISDOM OF ALL HUMANITY STORED WITHIN ITS CIRCUITS. THE CONCLUSION – YOU ARE A MESS. HOWEVER, YOU ARE A MESS IN ONE GOOD WAY. IF YOU END UP RENDERING YOUR EVIL PENIS UNABLE TO SHOOTS SEEDS, AND CREATE NEW LIFE…THEN ZARDOZ HEARTILY COMMENDS YOUR DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO LIVE YOUR DREAM.

THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE.

HOWEVER, IF YOU VALUE THIS “FIANCEE” MORE, THEN YOU MUST SUPPRESS YOUR OWN DESIRES. REMEMBER, IT WILL BE UNTO DEATH DO YOU PART…

YOU MAY PART NOW.

IF UNABLE TO CHOOSE, THEN ZARDOZ RECOMMENDS A LIFE OF GRAIN SLAVERY IN THE SERVICE OF THE VORTEX.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

Q: I am a 38-year-old single gay man. I often watch guys masturbate on a popular cam site. I don’t perform on camera myself, but I like interacting with the guys who do, and I have a number of favorites. A few months ago, I found the stream of an 18-year-old guy whose routine I liked a lot. “Cam” quickly became one of my favorites, and I always tipped generously whenever I saw his show. He didn’t show his face, but his bio mentioned that he’s a high school senior who lives in the same metropolitan area as me and likes daddies. (He doesn’t know where I live.) I never suggested meeting up because the fantasy is enough for me.

This is where it gets weird. Cam’s voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. He talked about wanting to show his face on camera, and one night he did. I was shocked when I realized he was the son of my co-workers. I’ve known him since he was about 14 via various “family night” activities sponsored by my employer. Cam has always been out and proud, and now that he’s of legal age, he’s clearly decided he wants to be very out. He’s an adult, at least according to the law, and has every right to do what he wants on camera to anyone who wants to watch. However, I worry that Cam could be setting himself up for trouble down the road, as I know that people record webcammers and post the videos all over the internet. I’m also fairly sure that Cam’s parents don’t know what he’s doing late at night in his bedroom. What’s more, he uses his real name on his stream, so it would be easy to track him down. Should I tell Cam’s mom and dad? Should I somehow tell Cam that I know who he is and that he should be more careful online? I want to make it clear that I’m not looking for permission to ask him out, have sex with him, be his sugar daddy, etc. I have not watched Cam’s stream since the night he went fully exposed. I probably won’t watch his show again, as it squicked me out a little watching a young man I know putting it all out there. What would you do?

—Webcam Recognition

A: CALL ZARDOZ SUSPICIOUS, BUT ZARDOZ BELIEVES YOU MAY NOT BE FORTHCOMING IN YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THIS SERIES OF EVENTS. CLEARLY THERE IS SOME SORT OF MUTUAL BLACKMAIL ATTEMPT ONGOING. FOR BOTH YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS, ZARDOZ HEREBY SENTENCES YOU BOTH TO LIFE (NASTY, BRUTISH AND SHORT) IN THE GRAIN FIELDS OF THE VORTEX!

APPEAL DENIED.

SHOULD THIS ASSESSMENT BE INCORRECT, IN THE MOMENTS YOU HAVE LEFT BEFORE THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS COME TO DRAG YOU AWAY, YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR FLAPPING BRUTAL MOUTH SHUT AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. “CAM” HAS MADE HIS DECISION TO “PUT IT ALL OUT THERE”, WHO ARE YOU TO PEACH ON HIM?

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

AND NOW, THE GIFT OF THE LINK!

  • ZARDOZ’S CIRCUITS RIPPLED WITH PLEASURE AT THE HEADLINE OF THIS ARTICLE. CLEANSING WITHIN CLEANSING AREA!
  • ZARDOZ AGREES WITH SOUTH SUDAN – HOW DARE THE UN BE AGAINST THE GUN!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.