See, I go away for a day to get some quality hiking time in (and the Tonto National Forest is absolutely gorgeous), and whaddaya know, some asshole starts shitposting.

Now, I do have some sympathy for a guy who suffered brain damage from breathing in too much smoke over his career- and it wasn’t like he had a full complement of chromosomes to start with. But this is the kind of shit that none of you fine people should have to deal with. It’s low class, and Spud’s mashed-potatoes-for-brains aren’t an excuse. So in partial recompense, I’ll give you some decent links today. Starting with birthdays, the kind of thing that, along with a man-sized assortment of links, Spud’s laziness would deny you.

Birthdays today include a harelip; a guy who was unfortunately born before GPS and navigation to “home”; an enigma; a beaver that got killed in Viet Nam;  and an academic grifter who has debased political discourse.

And now the news.

 


 

This is my congressman. It would take a lot to get me to vote for Team Blue, but Andy’s doing his best. Higher taxes, tanked economy, and Moar Drug War are for your own good, Citizen. Fuck you, Andy, you’re a disgrace.

 

Agree with him or not, there actually IS someone with principles in congress. Who knew?

 

World’s Smallest Violin. And as I knew before I even started, the first subject of their sob story deliberately chose an expensive school, voluntarily put herself deed in debt, majored in something with no financial payoff, and finished with a degree from a school known principally for turning out perverts.

 

I thought, “This HAS to be The Onion.” 

 

I should not have laughed half as hard as I did when I read this.

 

Welcome to the fish bowl.

 

“Flying commercial is like getting in a long tube full of demons.” Well, I can’t argue that point.

 

“Kids, that’s where your dinner comes from.”

 

I love intersectionality. Even better, there seems to be a pattern.

 

Protect your kids from JJ.

 

And this is a sad note for me to post. I loved Roky and his music, and his collaboration with Okkerville River (the band featured for Old Guy Music yesterday) was a highlight of my time in Austin.

 


 

Old Guy Music, and specifically chosen today to piss you people off. But I like it and I’m the guy posting this.