How’s everyone today? I’m going to prison again tomorrow. Once again just visiting. It turns out that my outlaw father-in-law has cancer, so we’re going to see him again. Thanks to MS for covering for me on short notice yesterday afternoon. Things you shouldn’t say to your wife within two hours of her finding out her dad has cancer: “Well, at least we’re not in China, so they won’t harvest his organs until after they treat him”.

Accusing anyone of being the “mastermind” of the David Ortiz shooting is generous, but they arrested someone.

You think its okay to row a boot after you’ve been drinkin’, eh?

Despite all the fun Arby’s seems to be having, and how much I like the beef’n’cheddar, every time I go in there, I feel like I’m going back to the 80s and stay away for a while.

This guy says he’s had countless offers of marriage due to his fashion sense, unfortunately, they’re all 90 year olds.

This came across in the gym, and I was like, yeah,I like both of these bands.