Appearances Can Be Deceiving
See that handsome, rugged fellow to the right? Looks like the very picture of an old-time mountain man, doesn’t he? Hirsute and tough, yet still ruggedly good-looking; no doubt a wilderness gentleman, a man of good breeding and manners.
Of course, he’s nothing of the sort. That is, of course, Robert Redford, in his role as Jeremiah Johnson, from the movie of the same name. His character was based on a man who was none of the things described above, save perhaps hirsute and tough. He was John Jeremiah Garrison “Liver-Eating” Johnston, and his story is quite different than the movie version – and a lot more interesting. Johnston was no heroic figure; in today’s world he probably would have landed in prison. But it’s an interesting contrast, between Redford’s noble character and the unsavory, drunken, violent lout on whom Redford’s character was based.
His Maculate Origin
Johnston was born John Jeremiah Garrison. He emerged into the world in Little York, New Jersey, in 1824, and if anyone could be said to be living proof of the maxim “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, it is the young Johnston. His father, one Isaac Garrison, was a violent, abusive alcoholic who sent his young sons to neighboring farms to labor to pay off his drinking and gambling debts.
It didn’t take long for the young John Jeremiah to tire of this treatment. At age twelve or thirteen – the record is unclear – he signed up to be a crewman aboard a whaler, which occupation he followed until the outbreak of the Mexican War, when he signed up with the U.S. Navy.
It was during this tenure that the course of young John Jeremiah’s life changed. He had matured into a massive, intimidating figure; six foot two inches tall, heavily bearded, two hundred and sixty pounds of solid muscle. His Navy service ended when an officer reprimanded a friend of John Jeremiah’s with the flat of his sword; Garrison knocked the lieutenant ass over teakettle and, facing court-martial, fled ashore.
Now he faced a crossroads. Twenty-two years old, with his only skills being sailing and fighting, he decided to head inland, making the obvious choice for a youth in his position: To make a living in the Rockies. He adopted the surname “Johnston,” because why not, and struck out for the West.
His Adventurous Career
Johnston surfaced in 1846 in Alder Gulch, Montana Territory, working as a woodcutter supplying the steamboats on that Missouri River port. One story of Johnston from around this period describes him lounging on the Missouri River dock with a partner. Johston was wearing only mule-ear trooper boots and “a filthy red woolen union suit that he had apparently been living and sleeping in for several years.” While he was thus occupied, a riverboat arrived bearing wealthy tourists from St. Louis who were taking in the sights, of which Johnston and his partner were not the least. Several prominent ladies of that city found Johnston and his unnamed partner fascinating, and invited him into the steamboat’s parlor for luncheon, with the understanding that he put on some trousers first.
Johnston and his partner were nonplussed by the luxurious dining salon, and their confusion was heightened at the end of the meal, when dishes of ice cream were passed out.
“John, what is this stuff?” the partner asked.
“Don’t look ignorant,” Johnston told him. “It comes in cans.”
1863 found him signing up with the Second Colorado Cavalry, to serve as a scout. He was with the cavalry for only a few days before going AWOL to spend his enlistment bonus on a drinking binge, but eventually returned to the regiment in time to ride east, where he took part in the battles of Westport and Newtonia. Johnston was shot in the leg but recovered and continued to ride with the Second until his discharge in September 1965.
Set at liberty again, Johnston returned to the Montana Territory, where he worked at almost any occupation that would make money: Trapper, fur trader, woodcutter, carpenter, whiskey trader. He viewed the law as only a set of mild suggestions, engaging in running liquor to the various Indian tribes and selling Indian skulls to tourists. In 1868 Johnston formed a partnership with one J.X. Biedler to run liquor to the Indians in an extremely hostile area known as the Whoop Up Territory, which had the reputation of being extremely dangerous for white men; that information bothered Johnston not a jot, and he continued in the illegal whiskey trade until 1873, when he executed an adroit 180-degree turn and got himself appointed as Sheriff in Coulson (now Billings) Montana. Johnston worked as a lawman more or less consistently – again, the record is not complete – until he retired in 1894 at age 70.
Incidentally there is no record of Johnston’s preferring the Hawken rifle. The movie not only got that wrong, they got it badly wrong; a “.30 caliber Hawken gun,” as referenced in the film, would be suitable only for rabbits and squirrels. The only armed photos of Johnston I have found shows him with what appears to be a Sharps rifle and, later, an 1876 Winchester.
As to the source of those Indian skulls, that is the part of Johnston’s legend that is best known.
His One-Man War
Legend has it that, in 1847, Johnston took a woman of the Flathead tribe to wife, only to have her killed by a man of the Crow nation; in this respect, the story is much like the one in that movie. But Johnston’s revenge on the Crow was far more brutal than Hollywood’s imaginings.
According to the book Crow Killer: the Saga of Liver-Eating Johnson, taken from the accounts of people who knew Johnston, this one-man vendetta claimed the lives of over three hundred Crow Indians over the course of twenty-five years.
One account has it that Johnston was captured by the Crow. Held prisoner in winter in the norther Rockies, stripped to the waist, tied with thongs and left in a tepee with a single guard, Johnston managed to work himself free of his bonds. He knocked his guard senseless with a kick, took the brave’s knife, scalped him, then proceeded to cut off one of his legs. Taking the guard’s leg with him, he fled shirtless into the winter wilderness with only the Indian’s leg for provisions; he lived by this act of cannibalism to reach his partner Del Gue’s cabin, some two hundred miles away.
The appellation “Liver-Eating Johnston” derives from this vendetta, during which Johnston was said to have eaten the livers of the Crow he killed. He may have fostered this reputation, as to the Crow it was a deadly insult, as they could not go to the afterlife without their livers; but reportedly the incident dates to the early days of the quarter-century conflict when Johnston and several other men fought a Crow war party. Johnston later claimed to have shot an Indian, and then ran his knife into the brave to finish him. When he withdrew the knife, there was a bit of the Indian’s liver stuck to the blade; Johnston noticed a young tenderfoot watching, so he pretended to nibble at the liver, then extended it to the young man, asking if he wanted a bite. The tenderfoot, as Johnston put it, proceeded to “sick up his guts,” to the amusement of the other members of the party. However, other than this account, there is no actual record of any acts of liver-eating.
Johnston’s taste for revenge (and human legs) ran out in the early 1870s, when he formally made peace with the Crow, referring to them thereafter as his brothers. After that he limited his killing to members of the Sioux and Blackfoot nations.
His Golden Years
Johnston’s health declined after his retirement. His former great strength was eroded by alcoholism and the several wounds he had received in the Civil War and his years of fighting Indians. He moved into a veteran’s hospital in Los Angeles in 1899, at age 74, and died a year later.
John Jeremiah Garrison Johnston was a much more interesting sort than Redford’s far less colorful depiction. He was a product of his times, as are we all, but even for his times, he was a violent, profane man. A thoroughly unsavory character, he did nevertheless possess determination and great tenacity, traits of which we should all study up on. And again, even for his times, his career of adventuring seems like one big caper across the most dangerous areas of the West, where he fearlessly engaged in the most dangerous occupations around.
We should not overlook the contemptible parts of Johnston’s personality. He was not a man to be respected or held up as a role model. But we shouldn’t overlook his courage and tenacity, either. Maybe, one day, some Hollywood producer will make a movie that more accurately depicts Johnston as he was, one of the toughest, roughest, shootin’est, most colorful characters our nation has ever produced.
Good afternoon, Glibs website time, Animal.
Good Noon, real people time.
So, for the past few weeks, another group has been pestering me about a persistant permissions issue one of their scripts had. I sent them the psuedocode for what was needed to fix the problem and forgot about it.
This past friday, they copied the psuedocode directly into the production version of the script and went home. Unix being what it is executed the script when the scheduler told it to, along with the psuedocode – which had placeholder variables because I was working from memory and the other group did not check or test the changes.
This promptly changed permissions for the wrong part of the filesystem and brought down the production database server. Since this made it impossible to log into the box, it took a good chunk of the morning to fix.
Who goes straight to production with untested changes?!?
Who makes changes to production on a Friday?!?
Sad part is, if they’d swapped out the placeholder variables and put in what was actually used in the script, it would have done exactly what they wanted.
“Who goes straight to production with untested changes?!?”
You would be surprised what I’ve seen. Or,given this experience, maybe not.
Far too many people. They’re the same people who will make changes to core routers in the middle of the day without testing, because they’re sure it’ll work.
Well, this riled upper management. So there will be some stern lectures about following change control procedures. Hopefully it won’t be mandated that the whole agency listen to them.
I’ve heard those same rumblings before, those who weren’t following the change processes before continued to not follow them, and it just became more difficult for those who were following the process.
My favorite network admin trick is to make a change to the firewall or router and forget to save the changes. So everything works great until months later the router needs to be rebooted and the change isn’t there anymore.
So things go haywire and no one has changed anything. Fun times.
Who goes straight to production with untested changes?!?
Who makes changes to production on a Friday?!?
This guy!
My beard isn’t quite that white.
Can’t go to the afterlife without your liver, huh? That’s oddly specific.
Great story, Animal
The part of going 200 miles shirtless in winter raised my eyebrows a bit though. If he took a leg I’d have thought he might be interested in the Crow’s shirt but I wasn’t there.
Those mountain men were tough, then I think about myself and realize I wouldn’t fare so well in the Old West environment. I can still change a tire though.
There’s a gaming blog that I got made aware of by several here (including Titor), which at one point asked the question, “Would you have survived in the past?” Not, could you survive; but, have you suffered an injury or illness that had a better then 50% chance of killing you without modern treatment. Me (along with ~40% of the respondents IIRC) would have been in the deceased column.
Yeah, even what we consider minor these days would be contributing factors. For example I wear serious glasses, without them I can see daylight and darkness but everything else is double vision. I couldn’t survive very long in the wilderness, even with a gun, ammo and a compass. Put me in the ‘D’ column as well.
“Would you have survived in the past?”
Nope. Not even a question. I had to have open heart surgery when I was 18 months old because of a Valley Fever infection. There was another kid in the hospital at the same time with Valley Fever who didn’t make it.
And that’s before you get to the extreme nearsightedness and the one-sided deafness, which aren’t fatal, but aren’t exactly survival-enhancing, either.
So you had your heart removed as a baby. Explains why you grew up into a Glibertarian.
True story – I have a slight heart murmur, and they wanted to do an ultrasound of my heart. It took the tech nearly a half hour to find it. I told him “Its probably a very small, black heart” and lo, he found it.
Nearsighted here as well.
Also missing are the epidemic diseases that were mostly eradicated. Unless you’re in a progtown. That’s one of the things that just makes me furious. Actual out and out public health problem, that public health departments were created for, and its ignored because a) there are multiple proggie tenets implicated by it and b) they’re too busy worrying about empire building on non-contagious non-diseases.
Probably not. I dislocated my left knee in during a jujitsu belt test when I was 24. I couldn’t put weight on the leg for a while without it buckling. I think that would be a wrap in most historical contexts.
Depends on whether your family would feed you until the joint healed to the point you could hobble around and start contributing again.
That sort of injury isn’t exactly a death sentence.
Yeah, I suppose I’m thinking of the context. If it happened around friends or family and close to home or a place I could recover, I’d be ok. If it happened in the wilderness, say, it might be a different story. It depends on the time period and setting, too, obviously.
Probably, even though my eyesight sucks.
My only major injury involved a vehicle, so that wouldn’t have happened anyway.
Would I survive now at almost half a century old? That’s debatable. I’m feeling old lately, and Advil is my friend.
Well, what part of the past? Are we throwing people out into the wild? I could probably have survived in any society where I could practice a craft or become a scribe because of the combination of nearsightedness and good manual dexterity for fine detail work. My main health issues are actually a result of the modern plenty (too much food, too little activity).
This is true. The average life expectancy of most late agrarian (or later) societies is really dragged down by infant mortality. If you survived being an infant (and small toddler), your odds of living into your 50s or 60s were pretty good.
yep. i would’ve been one of those infant mortality statistics.
From what I recall, they were aiming for roughly medieval levels of tech. So assuming no childhood injuries or illness that wouldn’t have been treatable, they assumed survival.
Me, deficiencies as an infant, and then a rare disease when I was ~8 would have killed me off without modern medicine.
By those parameters, I’d still survive.
Broken leg at 3 that might have left me crippled. Hospitalized for pneumonia at 6 that might have finished me off.
Lets see, I would have been dead of a ruptured appendix at 13
Then likely dead of Pneumonia at 25
The MRSA infection is a bit more on the fence, it absolutely would have killed me but then I only got it because of modern medicine but either way at this point had I been born a century earlier I would have been dead twice at this point in my life
No antibiotics mean you would die from the non-antibiotic resistant version, so I think you can count it, too.
“dead of Pneumonia at 25”
I’d forgotten about those things.
Dead 2X before my 30th birthday.
I think I saw the Dead 4 times, all before my 30th birthday.
Jerry and boys were not my thing back then. I did see Laser Dead in High School.
I would have died at birth. I didn’t breathe on my own for over an hour; they used a respirator to get me going. Once I started I was OK, but in pre-respirator times, I would have died.
The good old days weren’t so great. My Dad’s younger brother died of pneumonia in 1926. He had twin sisters stillborn in 1927 after a 48-hour+ labor. His mother died in 1944 of a stroke probably caused by un-diagnosed hypertension.
Hell, our youngest was born three months early, after Mrs. Animal was diagnosed with severe eclampsia. The doc told me that, even 25 years earlier, they both would have died. It was two or three days before they were sure Mrs. A would live, and almost two months before they were sure our baby would live. That was in 1996.
Yeah, I’ll take modern times, thanks.
Yeah, that was kind of the point of the post. For all of those wishing for the good old days, when things were simple. To point out that life was much harder back then, and quite a few of us wouldn’t have made it to the ages we are now.
I think I would have survived, but my wife probably would have died in child birth. They finally had to chop the kid out because she was having such a hard time.
No surgeries, compound fractures, never had pneumonia or anything like that. Some bad ear infections when I was a kid, but I doubt they would have killed me. Probably would have had a reasonable chance of making it to adulthood.
I might have been able to make it. Only major injury I have ever had was a broken leg, but that was caused by a vehicle accident, so that wouldn’t have happened. I’d be just as susceptible as anyone else to the various diseases available at the time that killed many many people.
I probably would have survived. Yeah, I’ve had four knee operations, but the first three were for things that I could have lived with (although in a bit of discomfort). Fourth was a partial replacement last year, mainly from the damage from the first three. Again, I could have managed with it the way it was.
And that’s it. I’m getting close to 50 now, and I still can see just fine without glasses. No history of diseases, no allergies. Nothing.
It’s funny – we’ve traced my geneology back to around 1000 AD, and even back then my ancestors were routinely living into their 80s. First ancestor who came to the US was in Jamestown in 1625, and that guy lived into his early 80s – in early colonial America. I’d have to look at the family tree again, but I only remember one or two that died before their later 40s.
Bad news for my wife though – she’s stuck with me, and will likely never get the life insurance payment.
Hospitalized 6 or 7 times with pneumonia between ages 12 and 25. Complicated by a congenital health problem, so I’d say dead by 20. If that hadn’t gotten me, complications during my WebDom pregnancy would have done it.
I think I would’ve been fine up until a couple years ago when I had appendicitis. It probably would have burst and I would’ve been toast.
He old.
I used to live very close to there.
I’ve never seen the movie or heard about this guy before. Interesting read though. Thanks Animal.
I live in NJ and had to use Google Maps I had no idea where it was. Hunterdon County right next to the PA border.
I forget, Sean are you in PA now?
Yup.
Old Wild West figures are always interesting to read about. This guy sounds like a character I wouldn’t have a lot of interest hanging out with, but interesting nonetheless.
After that he limited his killing to members of the Sioux and Blackfoot nations.
That made me laugh.
Great article, Animal. I think Hollywood might be surprised at the reception for more realistic portrayals of legends.
I think Hollywood might be surprised at the reception for more realistic portrayals of legends.
Seconded. I never had any interest in the Robert Redford vehicle, but I would eagerly pay to see the true story Animal just described.
The RR version has some beautiful cinematography but is all wrong from many standpoints. Not the least of which it was filmed in Utah, including on the Colorado Plateau.
The Redford pic had some beautiful cinematography, but frankly that’s about all I can say for it.
About the only modern big-time director who sounds like he could do it justice is, unfortunately, Quentin Tarantino.
I would want to see a John Waters version.
LOL
I picture STEVE SMITH in drag.
Great article, Animal. It seems that the true stories of the old wild west figures tend to be much more interesting than the Hollywood versions.
I remember reading some book as a kid that said most mountain men were violent sociopaths who had been run out of every town/city/village and basically had to live in the mountains. Another “fact” that they had in there was that the annual rendezvous killed more mountain men than wild animals and/or indians.
Turns out that putting a bunch of violent men in a camp and feeding them a ton of whiskey leads to a lot of violence.
Great story though.
“Another “fact” that they had in there was that the annual rendezvous killed more mountain men than wild animals and/or indians.”
Obviously, they ran out of whores too quickly
Only gonna be you and me at the party, Q.
Bring a lot of rotgut.
Seems about time to go OT:
https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/journalism-job-cuts-haven-t-been-this-bad-since-the-recession-1.1280981
L
The dead cat bounce is over.
Nothing like making your appeal more selective to thin the ranks.
Certainly no one becomes a journalist to get rich.-
No, they do it for the smug.
“Paid activist gigs drying up, activists warn.”
Like “BuzzFeed” and “Vice” – and their overabundance of zillennial fluff-piece writers – count.
O?
S
When Pravda laid off staff in the old Soviet Union, I imagine most people celebrated because they understood how important propagandists are to the regime. The same applies now. Corporate press reporters should be understood as propagandists first and humans second.
“I’m devastated to hear that the same propagandists who told us about WMDs in Iraq and threw a temper tantrum about ending our involvement in Syria are losing their jobs.”
– said no sane person ever
Give me an
E
A
R
W
A
X
Such a rebel.
The mountain man era of the west is the one era of America that I wish I could have experienced. The annual rendezvous were times for serious business, trade- and fun. The were plenty of scrapes but little in the way of killing. There are some very fine books on the MM era and the various prominent trappers. These men turned the west from a fantasy to a real geographical part of the US. Jim Bridger was a great man by any account.
The trappers influence was continent wide. If you ever take the NYC Subway and get off at Astor Place the signs all show a beaver. Why? Because John Jacob Astor made his fortune in beaver hides when he owned the Nation’s largest trapping company. Of course much of his money was also made selling annual supplies and alcohol to the free trappers at the annual rendezvous.
Good article Animal.
Find your way off the Goolag.
https://www.techspot.com/news/80729-complete-list-alternatives-all-google-products.html
I’m waiting on Guardian to roll out to the app store. If it works as advertised, I’ll be a customer. For me, the test will be whether it chokes off the relentless data-harvesting of the Weather.com app.
Great link. I had no idea Signal had a desktop version! Google Hangouts has been the hardest thing to replace.
Not happening for me until I can afford my own IT department. Just part of being a small business owner now.
Good article.
I’m Googled all over. The boss here mentioned Protonmail last night and I already search with DDG but I’d really like to try some alternatives to Google Docs.
Thanks!
That is, of course, Robert Redford, in his role as Jeremiah Johnson, from the movie of the same name.
Haven’t watched that movie in years, but I remember really enjoying it.
Even that is a movie that couldn’t get made today (“I don’t speak no flathead”).
fun history again! thanks Animal
How offended do people get when fantasy works mix latin and ancient greek? For example, giving someone a title of ‘Insignis Semeion’.
Are they polyamorous?
No. I’m trying to find a suitable title for those marked by a miracle. While the common folk are liable to use common terms, there are pretentious prelates who are unlikely to condescend to call them Marked by Mercy.
Make up your own language.
I don’t have the nack for it.
I se.
Ercy-may arked-may?
Theodorae?
So they’re translingual…
How offended do people get when fantasy works mix latin and ancient greek?
Normal people? Very little to not at all.
Hypercritical, OCD, or otherwise dysfunctional people? You can’t make them happy anyway, so who cares?
Doesn’t bother me at all not like authors using the late early modern period meaning of the word ‘Bespoke’ in a clearly middle-age setting. Now, that sticks in my craw.
But, suits are bespoke. Why does that bother you?
I just looked it up, and have never heard the modern usage.
I had never heard the old usage.
Great article Animal. I read a book sometimes in the 70’s that had a version of the capture, escape, and 200 mile trek in it, but I think the author left out the part about cutting off the leg for food. I don’t recall the book title right now, but it was apparently a partially fictionalized tale of Johnston and maybe some other Mountain Men mixed together.
The Redford movie did “trigger” my brother and I to go out and buy TC Hawken rifles (45 cal), which were a lot of fun to shoot. I did eventually kill my first deer with my gun many years later. Then I upgraded to a 50 and have slayed many more deer/elk/antelope. The movie was a mixed bag, the idea of “30 cal Hawken” was laughable. But getting the 50 cal from Hatchet Jack (??) was a cool scene.
I think that was part of the popularity of the Hawkens….the larger caliber. The famous Davy Crocket had a 32 caliber flintlock rifle. That always puzzled me until it was explained that back then it didn’t take much. No antibiotics or understanding of germ theory meant that most bullet strikes were going to be fatal to a human but for tougher animals (buffalo) that you want dead right now bigger is better.
Yeah I’ve heard of the 32 Cal, I think it was pretty common , still considered a squirrel gun.
Never heard of a 30 cal muzzleloader.
Nor have I.
I remembered most of that along with what people said about him; “If the game gets scarce don’t let him get behind you”
I believe there was similar advice about Kit Carson…and no doubt others. Wildernesses are not the gardens of Eden the inexperienced often imagine them to be. Food on uncultivated land is little and far between.
engaging in running liquor to the various Indian tribes
So he is the reason we were able to win the west.
Look, they’re the good guys – they have “antifascist” right in their name!
Wow.
If you were to talk to a Nazi back in the day, they’d come up with very creative rationalizations as to why slaughtering jews was an act of self defense.
The anti-fa members are just continuing that practice.
^^^This, this, THIS!
They portrayed themselves as helpless victims of plots for (((world domination))) so violence was justified.
It’s sickening and scary that there are organized groups today doing the same thing with impunity.
And, in the case of their commie opposite numbers, there was even truth to their rationalizations. The German commies of the 1920s and 30s actually were just as violent as the Nazis.
I suspect they have always existed. They just didn’t always have the PR team that ANTIFA does
Dude pretending (very unconvincingly) to be a woman wearing a rainbow wig….yeah, that checks out.
Alexandra Erin is a truly vile human being. Who used to write some entertaining stories.
I didn’t even look into who that was, because, well, Twitter.
Hoo boy.
What world do these people live in?
Have Patriot Prayer and Proud Boys ever initiated violence?
Also, they seem to really suck at bodyguarding.
What a shitfest
Everybody seems to want Weimar Germany
The blackshirt LARPers at antifa might want to study up a little bit on how that turned out for their ideological forebears.
Interesting. I came across this this morning. Read a book by Upton Sinclair a while ago where he attributes the saying to Huey Long.
So… put up with relatively mild assaults or we’ll murder you.
Not authoritarian psychos. Not one bit.
It’s a pretty good deal when you look at it that way!
2A forever……..
They/them
okay, let’s see how this plays out…
Sarah Gailey is an American author. Their alternate history novella River of Teeth was a finalist for the 2017 Nebula Award for Best Novella, the 2018 Hugo Award for Best Novella, and the 2018 Locus Award for Best Novella. In 2018, they also won the Hugo Award for Best Fan Writer.
that is fucking retarded.
I’m willing to believe she has multiple personalities. I mean, she’s obviously unhinged, so why not?
their Hugo award was for Best Fan Writer. i want to believe the voters did that as a joke just to mix plural and singular terms.
books sounds fun though:
In the 1850s, President James Buchanan approved a plan to import hippopotamuses into the United States as livestock. Decades later, the lawless swamps of Louisiana are infested with murderous feral hippos, and Winslow Houndstooth and his band of misfits are hired to clear them out.
i want this book review engraved on my tombstone:
At Strange Horizons, Samira Nadkarni emphasized that the story was “fun” and “action-adventure escapism”, lauding the portrayal of a romance between bisexual Houndstooth and nonbinary Hero Shackleby; however, Nadkarni also criticized the focus on single aspects of the intersectional characters’ identities, and observed that Gailey omitted entire indigenous populations who historically would have lived in that part of Louisiana.
Live by the Woke, die by the Woke.
Why do I suspect that the ever-so-woke romance is completely bolted on and an unnecessary distraction from what sounds like a good premise?
This would be the ideal protagonist for that story, IMO.
the weapons-grade colonialism coursing through that man’s veins would instantly kill all of the characters in zher’s hippo book.
I gotta check; I think there may be one of the books I don’t have.
I am the proud owner of the blunderbuss and a couple of the limited edition rayguns. Wonderful art pieces.
In fact, the rayguns are in my office.
https://drgrordborts.com/picture-essays/life-coaching-with-lord-cockswain/
in your face, natural selection!
oh man, i’m going to put that into rotation.
Nobody cares enough about you to want to exterminate you, you narcissistic little twit “look at me! I’m white, but I’m a victim too! They literally want to exterminate me for something (I’m guessing she’s lesbian)!”
Buzz Cut Barbie is back in the news. She’s miffed at Madonna’s new video because it…. I don’t know. I couldn’t figure out what is wrong with it from reading the story.
Poor Madonna. No one is taking her virtue signaling on guns very seriously.
Emma Gonzalez is going to tell you people what the correct way is, and don’t you DARE deviate from it!
Don’t get between an SJW and a public forum.
Have Fuzzhead’s nudes been circulated yet?
Would anybody care?
No. The government is keeping them in reserve as a last resort weapon against Iran.
This girl is going to go to college, try lesbianism for a while, get forgotten about when Democrats take the White House again, and then wake-up one day in her mid-thirties and say “hey, I think I like dudes and guns”
This is exactly how ENB’s career started at Reason
what will be buzz cut barbie’s sandwich kryptonite?
Personal hygiene?
Black cock.
A car payment.
A job application?
Gee, you know, it might be easier to convince me to give up my guns if there weren’t so many people who agree with her who also think people like me should be physically assaulted.
What’s really pissing her off is that she’s losing relevance. She can feel her time in the spotlight fading away and it’s freaking her out. SHE is supposed to be the person who steers the gun control movement, not old famous people like Madonna! Christ, Madonna’s a rich white woman! How dare Madonna of all people make a tribute to the victims of a shooting at a gay nightclub (***IRONY ALERT! IRONY ALERT! IRONY ALERT!***) without first asking Emma4Change, the Latina Jeanne d’Arc of the gun confiscation movement, and offering her a small but tasteful acknowledgement in the video?
Worst of all, a WHITE MALE is the Parkland kid who has managed to keep his name in the news lately.
Emma4Change, the
LatinaLatinx Jeanne d’ArcYou’re welcome.
Don’t care about the proper adjectives for her. All I want to know is when the burning at the stake is scheduled.
Doncha have to be a virgin? For a successful stake burning?
What makes you think she wouldn’t qualify?
Latin@.
She should have sent out a message warning what her new video contained,
The real world doesn’t have trigger-warnings.
TEH GHEYZ R COMING
https://pjmedia.com/trending/thanks-hgtv-americans-vastly-overestimate-the-gay-population-in-u-s-gallup-finds/
It’s always nice to take a moment and realize how far ahead of everyone else libertarians were when it came to homosexuality. Of course, that’s because libertarianism treats people as individuals, not as constellations of superficial characteristics.
Related:
https://news.yahoo.com/tensions-between-trans-women-gay-192236862.html
I don’t doubt that there are ordinary gays who just want to live their lives and are getting a bit tired of having the alphabet soup freakshow lumped in with them.
Probably most of them.
I don’t think there’s any question that gays are hugely over-represented in the media. Perceptions of how many people are gay, etc. are a literal order of magnitude larger than the reality. Which, among other things, should give considerable pause about the effectiveness of the media in distorting and controlling people’s perceptions of reality.
It’s even more pronounced for transgender. In the article, it says 4.5%, which INCLUDES transgender. I’d like to see polling on that, but I’ll bet most people think that at least 10% of the population is transgender.
SLD, I don’t advocate discrimination against anyone, but we’ve got activists trying to make fundamental changes to our society to appease a very tiny minority.
That always works out well in the end.
Thanks for another entertaining and educational history post, Animal!
Um, didn’t you say that you were supposed to write a hand written thank you note to be properly etiquette certified?
How do you know I didn’t also do that?
Often it’s just as important to publicly acknowledge a kindness that was granted in public.
How do you know I didn’t also do that?
Double jeopardy?
This etiquette stuff is already a hard sell, but if you are now telling me that it is going to double my work? Uffda, forget that noise.
Chastize in private, compliment in public. You did a swell job, SP.
*backs away slowly*
I like that Pope Jimbo catbutts himself on every post. Kind of immunizes him, you know?
I thought you were supposed to help break down cardboard boxes and leave behind alcohol your hosts won’t drink.
*Bows*
We need a modern day Jeremiah Johnston to have his wife bike locked by antifa
I guess doxxing is a two way street.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/07/portland-antifa-unmasked-antifa-thug-who-beat-man-with-metal-pipe-left-huge-bloody-gashes-on-his-head-has-been-identified/
Why does the Left think that the new rules won’t also apply to them?
I note he was previously arrested, yet seems unburdened by either legal consequences for his previous assault, or fear of legal consequences for future assaults.
If I saw someone beating another person on the head with nunchuks or a steel pipe, I would consider lethal self-defense justified.
Sam Colt made us equals
The MSM and the cops will take their side?
In select enclaves, they are right. They seem to be doing a decent job of keeping their blackshirt LARPing confined to safe jurisdictions.
The Presidential campaign will be an interesting test. If I’m Trump, I’d seriously consider rallies in places where they feel safe. I’d also be directing the DOJ to put together some indictments for conspiracy to deny civil rights, to be filed against the Portland mayor, PD, and antifa.
Of course, if DOJ wanted antifa hamstrung, they could have taken out their behind-the-scenes funding and facilitators long ago.
July 1 and the wife has a pile of blankets over her and the heat turned on. Unseasonably cold today.
KLIMATE KHAOS!
We’re down to, what, 11 years and 5 months?
Huh. This guy could be my twin. Well, I’m about 6″ shorter… don’t weigh 260 but I could with a little work… not tenacious nor physically brave…
But, I am an unsavory, drunken, lout.
Next week: Another Allamakee County Chronicles.