In the summer of ’81, I was 15 years old. I wasn’t your average teen. I was a committed juvenile delinquent and drug “enthusiast,” with a somewhat troubled past. My parents were hippies who–like many counter culture rebels–became hard core drug addicts. They divorced during a state mandated custody battle. The cops seized my siblings and myself because my parents refused to snitch on their dealer, basically. I spent two years (’76-’77) with my grandmother, who was a vicious and mean, high-strung stress case with an extreme superiority complex. My Mom eventually regained custody of us and we returned to our outlaw life. After a few years, and developing a drug habit, I tired of the poverty and stress of it all. I was offered to return to my Grandma’s house and I accepted. I returned much more street smart and ready to party it up.
The San Fernando valley in the early eighties was a great place to party. Cruising Van Nuys Blvd (if you google “cruising Van Nuys Blvd” you can see what it was like) had been shut down about a year earlier and that scene had moved to a large park called Balboa Park. The lot would fill with cars, all of which would tune their radios to KMET, and a huge party would happen. Every once in awhile, the cops would drive through and everyone would hide their beers and what have you. It was a great scene.
My friends and I would buy six packs of Mickey’s big mouths and split them. You’d put one beer in each back pocket and drink the third. That way, if you had to run, you only lose one beer. We had a plan for everything. This informal gathering happened every Wednesday night, just like the Van Nuys Blvd scene it replaced. We had many memorable times there, and this story centers around the last one I had there, during the summer of ’81.
I had a friend named Marvin. Marvin was far more criminally minded than I. He had been to juvie a few times and had a huge record. He’d dive right in to any criminally oriented situation with aplomb. He pushed me to expand my lack of respect for the law. I was positively small-time by comparison.
Marvin was very small. I was about 6” taller than him. I was kind of a protector of his. He’d get belligerent often and at ill-advised times, and I’d usually smooth things over with whomever wanted to kill him this time. Sometimes a fight would be unavoidable. Those times we’d just fight it out.
This particular Wednesday night was off to a good start when I ran into Marvin. I was already a little drunk, had my three Mickey’s big mouths and was raring to go. Marvin pulls out some ‘ludes and gives me two of them. I was starting to feel really good about things, a feeling later proven to be misguided. As we walked the rows of cars, talking to girls and checking out hot-rods, this big dude runs up and starts hassling Marvin. Here we go again.
I go to assess the situation. It seems that the ‘ludes Marvin had given me earlier had been fronted to him and he had no plan to pay for them. The big dude seemed very agitated and was demanding his 20 bucks. I sprang into negotiating mode and asked what he needed that we could maybe actually get for him. After some back and forth, we agreed that Marvin and I would go steal a car battery as payment. This seemed like an easy was to avoid violence, and we were sure it’d be quick and painless.
There was really only one option for stealing car batteries near this park, a row of apartment buildings across the street. We went to the first car, in the first space of the first building. It turned out to be a horrible choice. There was an overhead storage locker which covered the front half of the hood. I told Marvin to be the lookout, so he stood at the edge of the lot watching out. I had no tools, but I figured I could just wind the clamps off. The hood crashed loudly into the storage bin when opened. I got the negative cable off as planned, but the positive side would not budge more than a slight partial turn. Eventually, I decided to just yank it out and hope the inertia would pop it off. Drugs and booze famously spawn bad decisions. We had both the former and the latter.
Well, after one particularly loud crashing noise I see Marvin waving at me frantically. I start waving back to say, “I can’t help it,” but he responds as if to say, “NO, not that.” Then, he raises both his hands like a stick-up victim from the movies. I was perplexed until I saw the three people with guns pointed at him. They told me to come out with my hands up, so I did. They ushered us into one of the apartments and sat us on the couch inside. There were more armed residents inside and now we had about 6 guns pointed at us. I remember one of them looked like a flint lock taken from a plaque off the wall. Anyway, they held us until the cops arrived. I’m sure the proximity of the park caused them much concern, with all the partying and such, explaining the guns and quickness with which they used them.
The cops took us down to the station and handcuffed us to bench. After about an hour, Marvin’s Mom came and picked him up. I assumed my grandmother would come for me next. Well, an hour later, she still hadn’t come. Finally the cops came and told me that she had told them to keep me. I was going to be driven to Juvenile Hall. Whoo-hoo! After another hour on the bench, they walked me out to a waiting car and we were on our way.
Juvie was pretty much what I expected. It was a huge concrete building with only tiny windows way up high on one wall. It was three floors high and the lesser offenders like me were on the upper floor. That meant we could watch the traffic on the overpass through our window slits, if we stood up on our beds. The food was disgusting and the place was noisy and smelly and fucking cold all the time. We stayed in our cells almost all day. Ate in there and everything. There were some tables in the hall area outside the cells and we’d go out for about an hour every day. I spent about two months there going to trial and then waiting to get shipped out. I remember the radio played the Stevie Nicks/Tom Petty duet over and over because it had just came out. I will always connect that song to that place and time.
Juvenile court is (or, at least, was…) unlike any other depiction or reality of court I had ever seen. As a minor, you have NO rights at all. There’s no concerns about proportionate punishments, rights to confront accusers, even the right to defend oneself. Marvin’s Mom had hired a lawyer for him and he (the lawyer) was the only one who spoke, other than the judge and, briefly, some kind of social worker/probation person, who made recommendations to the judge. Marvin’s lawyer gave a dissertation on what a good kid he was and how the only reason he was in trouble was because of my bad influence. I was steaming mad and kept raising my hand. The judge seemed irritated by me and kept waving me to shut up. After awhile he proclaimed that he had heard enough. Marvin was sentenced to house arrest and probation and I was sentenced to “suitable placement.” For how long, I had no idea. What suitable placement was, again, no clue. All I knew was I got jacked in that courtroom.
Well, one day they drove me out to my “suitable placement.” It was a large group of brick buildings arranged like a school, with a quad, dorms and a cafeteria. It was run by Catholic monks. Everyone was “Brother X, Brother Z,” etc. There weren’t any walls or fences, so escape was always an option. Only the knowledge that I would be hunted down kept me from just leaving, well, that and the constant reminders that the next place was gonna be much worse. There was a school adjacent to the facility and we would spend regular school hours there. I was assigned a job in the kitchen and a dorm space with a cabinet and a bed. We had group therapy every day, where we’d talk about our problems and receive any news about our status, etc. The staff got to determine how long we would have to stay. We got weekend passes which we could earn in various ways. I had to talk my grandma into letting me go to a few at her house (I’m pretty sure the staff called her and made it happen). I got two weekend passes, one of which turned out to be transformative.
There was three things that stood out as notable events while there. First, when I had just arrived, a guy in the kitchen had a half a joint. He was gonna share it with me. I figured we could put a ladder all the way up to the vent so the smoke could escape without smelling the place up. Then, we decided to cover any remaining smell with a mixture of all the cleaning products available, particularly the strong smelling ones.
It turns out that mixing these chemicals can cause a variety of symptoms, including loss of consciousness and even death. Who knew? All the fumes rose to the top of the room, where we were atop the ladder. The fumes were so overwhelming, I couldn’t tell if the pot had any effect. The other guy fell off the ladder, hurt himself and I had to go get him help. The whole thing was viewed as us mixing the wrong chemicals and we never got into trouble because they never found out about the pot.
The second thing was much more consequential. On my second weekend pass, I was out looking to get high. I ran into a friend and asked if he had any dope. He said he didn’t but he was going to a meeting and I was welcome to go. I had to cram as much into my time as possible and there was nothing going on so I said, “yes.”
We drove to some little room in a church. I walked in and immediately thought, “there’s no way these are my kind of people.” They all had cars and jobs and they seemed like normal people. Then they started talking. They talked about all the things I was doing as a delinquent and how they had done similar and felt bad about it. They talked about having a conscience and how it seemed no-one else did. They talked about how it felt to know you were gonna keep doing dope, no matter if it killed you and how hopeless it felt. They seemed to have a window into my soul and made me look at myself in ways I never thought I could.
Prior to that I had all those thoughts and feelings, I just never considered saying them so out loud. I watched people (in my fucked up outlaw world, anyway) go steal, fight, scam and do any manner of devious stuff and never seem to have any feelings of guilt. I assumed that I had to do these things and I would force myself to, but I was wracked with guilt. I thought my guilt was a personal defect which kept me from being all I could be. My life to that point had been a constant battle with my morality to overcome its influence and finally feel the way others looked like they felt. I had never imagined that they all experienced the same turmoil. Now I had proof. I was hooked. I got sober and stayed that way for 30 years.
I was the only one at my placement who had gotten sober. I began to explore my soul and how it worked to regulate my morality. I completely changed my outlook and focus. In the group therapy sessions, I started actually being helpful to the other kids. I started helping them to solve their problems or at least begin to. The average stay there was about 6 months. Some people stayed 5 and some 7. I stayed a whole year. I’m pretty sure some of that was to find a suitable foster home (more on the “suitability” later) but I’m pretty sure my effectiveness at counseling the other kids played a part in extending my stay, as well. In any case, I set the record for longest stay for at least that era. Even a couple of other kids who went to foster homes were released after 6 months.
It was during this time that I developed an ulcer. I was taken to the doctor who injected me with some dye and then x-rayed me. Back then, they had no real drugs for this so they just gave me a list of what not to eat. It was basically everything. Because I was institutionalized, they made me actually stick to it. I spent the last month there eating plain mashed potatoes and egg whites with no seasonings. It was hell. Every meal was a plate of bland whiteness. It sucked balls. I was getting really fed up with the system and wanted out bad.
Eventually, the day came when I was allowed to leave. I was to move to a foster home in a good neighborhood with one other kid who already lived there. Oddly, the “parent” was just a single man, not a couple. I was happy to be leaving and ready to go out into the world. The guy seemed nice enough and the other kid was OK, I guess. I was happy to able to go to meetings and be out in the world, finally. It was about 14 months after I had tried to steal the car battery, and I was finally free to walk the streets, or so I thought.
The other kid that lived there was a full-on fuck-up. He would waltz in with a shiny new stereo and claim he found it in an alley. He’d say that he hoped it worked and then try it out. Amazingly they always worked. The “parent” seemed to buy all of this hook, line and sinker. This kid never got in any trouble whatsoever. He even got brought home by the cops once for some crime or another. The guy never even asked about any of this. In my case, however, if I was a few minutes past curfew, there’d be handcuffs on the tables and endless threats to send me back. It was clear that the other kid was immune from trouble and I had a target on my back. I was young and at least somewhat naive, so I never really understood what was going on until after I decided to leave.
One day I had had enough. I decided to find my bank book with my kitchen job earnings (about $300.00) and split. It was over a year and a half since my crime. I figured that I had paid my debt and was not going to live under this cloud of threats any more. I ditched high school and went hunting for my bank book. As I rifled the drawers in the “parent’s” room, I hit one that was locked. I assumed my stuff was in there, so I used a playing card to open it. Inside was a huge cache of gay porn and some sex toys that seemed like they were aimed towards women, IYNWIMAITYD. That’s when I started to remember a bunch of details. I would come home in the middle of the day and both the “parent” and the other kid would be in bath robes. Sometimes the kid would be taking a bath and the parent guy would go into the bathroom and stay 20 minutes or so. I realized that this guy was fucking the kid and knew I wasn’t going to be down with that. He was trying to get rid of me to cover it up. At that moment, he came in and started yelling about me being a thief, because I jimmied open his drawer. I really wanted to beat the living hell out of him with a lamp. I mean badly. The guy was a minister at a huge church, someone who convinced the state he could look after wayward teenaged boys, and this was what he did. I restrained myself and just left, not even bothering to find my bank book.
It was not easy, being alone on the streets at 16 years old. On top of that, I had a warrant for going AWOL. I started using a fake name, at least for anything official (like talking to the cops). I slept in an abandoned bar across the street from my AA clubhouse for a few months. I would put 4 bar stools together for a bed. I spent my days in bookstores reading book after book. I really can’t remember how I fed myself.
Eventually, I started getting jobs doing drywall or framing houses. Back then, you could buy a tool belt full of tools and just walk up to a jobsite and ask for work. 8 or 10 bucks an hour and if you worked really hard, they’d keep you. Nobody asked for ID or social security info. I did phone sales, auto repos and a bunch of other crap, too. Eventually, I got a job from a guy at the meeting in title insurance. It paid OK and I started saving a bit. Finally, I went to trade school for auto repair and became a mechanic.
One day, I hitchhiked to Santa Barbara with a friend of mine. We just went to hang out and have fun. We were walking down State Street and as we walked, I was cleaning my finger nails with a buck knife. My friend bumped into me a few times. I kept telling him to watch where he was going, but he persisted. Finally, I stopped and adamantly told him to knock it off. Right as I was doing this, a guy walks up and asks, “what are you doing?” He was just a regular looking guy with a Levi’s jacket on. I said, “nothing, just messing around,” and realized I had my knife in my hand, so I folded it and put it away. Well, he opened his coat and pulled out a gun and yelled, “Freeze!” which was silly, because we weren’t moving. We put our hands up and he took his coat off to reveal a Santa Barbara Police shirt. He arrested me for “disturbing the peace.” I used my middle name for a first name and my Mom’s maiden name for the last one. I told him I was 18 years old, so they took me to the county jail. This was on a Friday night.
I sat in jail until Sunday evening, when they called out my alias. I had forgotten it by then so there was significant lag time in my responding. Eventually, I caught on and answered up. The officer told me to roll ’em up because I had made bail. I was shocked. The only one who even knew I was there was my friend and he was 16 also and penniless. The cop walked me down some halls and finally stopped me in a quiet spot. He told me that some friends from L.A. had come up to look for me after my friend hitched back down there and told them what happened. They went to juvenile hall, the police station, the hospital, basically everywhere before ending up at the jail. They tried every combination of my name with no luck (they didn’t know what my alias was).
Finally, they asked to see pictures of arrestees from Friday night and found me that way. The cop said they told him my whole story and he was impressed. He said he was gonna let me them bail me out, but first he took me on a scared straight tour. This guy killed his mom, that guy stole a car, etc. Then he gave me a hundred bucks and said, “don’t come back to my jail,” and I was out.
I tried to make good on his admonition, but it wasn’t to be. About 2 years later, I was riding my motorcycle around and got pulled over. I had long since stopped using fake names, so I gave them my real name. They gave me a chicken shit ticket for loud pipes or dim tail lights or something and after I signed it, they whipped my hands behind my back and handcuffed me. I asked what they were doing and they said I had a warrant from Santa Barbara. Damnit!
This time, I went to L.A. County Jail and had to sit there for 5 days until a bus left for up north. I rode up with all the people who were sentenced to state prison. I got to Santa Barbara jail on Friday, so I had to wait until Monday to see a judge. When I finally did, he seemed pissed that I was there. He said, “years ago you did basically nothing on State Street, there’s not even any peace on State Street to disturb! Now, you’ve spent ten days in jail, and forfeited $100.00 bail for no good reason. I apologize and the case is dismissed.” So now, I get released at like 11 p.m. in Santa Barbara with no money and no way home. I hitched home and it took all fucking night. When I finally got home, my motorcycle had been impounded and cost me about $600.00 to get it out.
I could go on, but this seems like as good of a place as any to end this story. My life, both before and after these events, has been filled with the similar craziness, this is just one sliver of it. BTW, Santa Barbara County Jail, circa early 1980s, was a WAY better place to be an inmate than either L.A. County Jail or Sylmar Juvenile Hall.
P.S. When I adopted my son 7 years ago, I told this story in somewhat abbreviated form, to our social worker. She was amazed, not by that fact that it happened, but by the fact that I turned out OK. She said, basically, “ most of those kids end up spending their whole lives in prison.”
I got nothin’, except, thanks for sharing. That was a good read.
This.
I’ve had some interesting storylines, but this dwarfs them.
Thirded.
I’m as boring as his ulcer diet in terms of personal stories.
(And no, I wouldn’t particularly care to be limited to that either)
Well, there’s something to be said for boring, sometimes.
You know who else led “A Quiet, Normal Life?”
Hitler ?
That’s a quiet normal life?
Warren Zevon?
Jeffrey Dahmer?
Thanks for sharing Blackjack. That was a hell of a read. I’m glad you made it through in one piece.
Marvin’s lawyer gave a dissertation on what a good kid he was and how the only reason he was in trouble was because of my bad influence.
Some people.
This is an interesting story. Thank you!
I don’t see this lasting.
https://fee.org/articles/jordan-peterson-s-thinkspot-is-a-welcome-social-media-option-will-it-work/
Oh, I didn’t even even notice it was a new thread. Lol.
🙁
Go back and read the serious yarn being told.
Go easy on him, UCS. Bro is all ‘luuded up.
That’s one drug I never did.
‘ludes were like getting as drunk as anyone’s ever been, only without any of the stomach problems. Like zero possibility of puking. I felt like I could lift a car or jump over a house on them.
I graduated ’81 and was a ‘lude head among other things. I’m sure we could trade lots of stories about the day.
Yeah, we called them “gorilla bisquits,” lotta crazy stuff happened on those.
I also had my own Marvin. Small man complex, always getting me into shit. Pain in the ass he was.
I remember the hardcore band, Gorilla Biscuits. They were straight edge.
We had The Godz in Columbus and this was my theme music.
https://youtu.be/wFaEJMEEmFA
Interesting story, sucky you had to go through that.
Wow Blackjack, that’s a hell of a story, and one that lends itself to stream of consciousness.
Thanks for sharing this. You are not the only glib who has come here through a less than honorable path and past. Everyone loves a good transformation/redemption story.
Also, moar pleez?!?!?
Yeah, this is just one of the more intense periods. There’s a lot of craziness that happened, both before and after. It all kinda reads like a manual on how to create a libertarian.
Thanks for sharing a story so personal.
No prob. It helps keep it fresh in my mind to retell. I tell stories verbally, really well. This is the first time I’ve ever tried writing them down. I’m glad it’s entertaining,
What a story Blackjack.
Kudos to you for overcoming such a difficult start in life.
Success in life isn’t determined by what base you finish on, it’s true measure is determined by how many bases you actually cross.
A mentor of mine once told me as a teen that success in life is the measure of one’s ability to overcome a series of obstacles.
It appears to me that you have led a very successful life indeed.
Thanks for baring your soul here.
Seems as though you started behind zero and made it third or maybe even home.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
Yeah, good story! This is so outside the realm of what my world was at 15 it seems like a bad movie.
I just can’t get over this story.
Both my parents died while I was in my 20s.
I’m obviously very lucky to have had them as long as I did.
Soundtrack.
I dig that song.
Honorable mention? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuN6gs0AJls
Heh.
The album is so much more than that song, IMHO.
That’s a cool song, but this was the actual soundtrack and apropos.
Nice. I realize my link was anachronistic. But the joint needed some tunes.
Shane MacGowan channels Brendan Behan’s prison diary.
I met that guy. He was drunk off his ass.
I was thinking this song would have been more appropriate for the jailhouse,
I actually preferred this
https://youtu.be/RjlvdcBAKdg
Almighty: I want you to have my children.
No, here….take them. Really. It’s the least I can do for BotR.
“The San Fernando valley in the early eighties was a great place to party. Cruising Van Nuys Blvd”
Great story. Sort of reminiscent for me, just not in the same way. In 81, I was 21 and living in Ohio, but when I was 4 until10 years old, those were very familiar places for me. I lived in Simi Valley most of that time, but also lived in Van Nuys before that. I was just a little kid, so never got the chance to really experience it and get into trouble like I probably would have. Being so long ago, it still seems like not so long ago.
I don’t even know where “the place to get in trouble” was where I grew up. Upstate NY was always about 10 or 15 years behind the times as it was.
Sheet, does that mean we’ve got to go through the Obama administration now?
We always knew where those places were — the cops kept visiting our school and telling us to stay away from ’em. ;-)
blackjack, thanks so much for sharing.
You have a lot of internal strength to have survived a shit upbringing and our “justice” system.
Reminds me of several friends from Jr Hi who showed me how lucky I was. They stopped by around 9:00 one school night and invited me to hang around with them. I said “No way. My Old Man would kill me. I said that envying them their freedom. But one said “You’re lucky, your parents care about you. Ours don’t give a shit where we are.” He ended up in San Quentin before I graduated from college.
I was lucky. Not sure I could have seen it through to a good end what you did. Peace.
^This. Kids without representation (where the fuck was his public defender, anyways) are targets for getting railroaded by defendant kids with representation.
Funny how perspective changes everything. Behind every face is someone just as complex as you. It’s hard not to simplify their characters into whatever is easiest to digest for your own bias and prejudgments.
I can’t imagine how that juvenile court could possibly pass constitutional muster, except under the FYTW Clause.
It ignited a rebellion in me that lasted a few decades, assuming it’s not still driving me today.
Huh.
While it was an okay movie, there’s one line from Cowboys & Aliens that’s always stuck with me, seeing as how I was kinda raised Baptist:
“God doesn’t care who you were, son — only who you are.” Yep.
No, sir, that was a completely awesome movie.
Cowboys and aliens.
You’ve told bits and pieces before, thanks for the ‘Rest of the story.’
Good day…
I used to love those.
Yeah, Paul Harvey was great
And that little boy who nobody liked……grew up to be ….. Roy Cohn.
And now you know…. the rest of the story.
Brought to us by Mr. & Mrs. Erotic American
Lol
You’ve got my story line beat by quite a bit, but I did graduate from high school in the SF Bay Area in 1981. So, you can fill in the blanks.
You were dancing to a Blondie re-mix at the club, when you met this really cute guy?
Fortunately, or not, I left my disco days behind after discovering cruising the main drag and hanging out up at the lake drunk and stoned to the bejeesus. And then heading back into town the next evening and doing it all over again.
The next few years may have gone easier if I’d stuck with the Angel’s Flights, but I wouldn’t have had near as much fun.
Angel’s Flights?
Whoops, Angel Flights. Sorry, not going to enact your labor with a link. That I admitted it is shame enough.
Charlie’s Angels’ flights.
Told Tom Araya he should try playing metal as fast as punk?
you can fill in the blanks
Wasn’t there a popular band around that time called “Phil ‘n’ The Blanks”?
Mexi? Was this you?
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-health/2019/07/19/cooler-penises-frankenstein-head-found-phoenix-body-donation-company/1720254001/
Do we have any scientists in the Phoenix area…?
Could be OMWC has more than one hobby.
So SP is a cover?
Could be. He’s that conniving.
Lol
Great story, really makes me feel like an ass for the times I’ve felt my life was terrible. I didn’t realize how good I had it.
OT: What the hell did I stumble across?
https://youtu.be/eDOEIUbaT-U
lolwut?
It’s a sign of the times when they have to point out this is satire in the preview…
Looks like Taika is channeling his inner Wes Anderson.
I really love me some Taika movies, but, it was hard not to expect the Wilson Brothers in that preview.
/Dammit, T–when you gonna do We’re Wolves???
Thanks for sharing. I’m sure you heard that in group.
This part seems a bit off:
He said, “years ago you did basically nothing on State Street, there’s not even any peace on State Street to disturb! Now, you’ve spent ten days in jail, and forfeited $100.00 bail for no good reason. I apologize and the case is dismissed.”
Well, it’s a true story. Sometimes the villains do good and vice versa. True story, my wife is a lawyer and her friend, when she heard that part of the story, said that she practiced in Santa Barabra and she swore that she knew which judge it was. She said it could only be this one judge and he was on the bench at that time.
I mean, shouldn’t it read:
He said, “years ago you did basically nothing on State Street, there’s not even any peace on State Street to disturb! Now, you’ve spent ten days in jail, and forfeited $100.00 bail for no good reason.” I apologized and the case was dismissed.
No, actually the judge apologized to me. I could probably worded it better. He felt bad that I had suffered so much for so little. The Santa Barbara people were pretty cool ( except for the cop who busted me.)
“,,,that I had suffered so much for so little. ”
That seems to be a prominent feature of the system. It doesn’t take much to get it started and if a person doesn’t have any support and isn’t too good at making choices (probably what started it) it can be hard to get out of the system’s grip.
I’m not really a writer, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
It’s OK, I used to be an editor so I tend to notice such things.
You used to be an editor, and now you’re an editrix? :-p
Or an exitor.
My wife had the same concern, and now I see it. I coulda ran it by her, but I wanted it to be my own. She was impressed, but made the same critique. Thanks, it’s helpful to me.
Ahh…before cops were totally militarized.
“I heard you had a little trouble in town…”
Seriously though, I came close to that at 16. Fortunately for me, I’d only started on the path when I got detained.
I shouldn’t say “I came close to that.” I had far more familial support. You definitely had much tougher obstacles.
I had some friends who used to rip car stereos and radar detectors (remember those)? We went to St. Pete, and they had a stash of “merch” in their trunk. They also had some ditchweed, which they sold to a busboy at a restaurant that would serve us booze. He figured out what our game was, and told us about some neighborhoods that might be good. We stopped at a Quickie Mart, and a police car rolled up right next to use while the busboy was rolling a joint. The cops popped the trunk.
Fortunately for me, my friends were at least ethical enough to tell the cops I had nothing to do with it. I was planning to, but obviously, events interceded. The cops called my father, and let me know I’d be released into his custody. The drive back seemed a lot longer than the 2 hours.
I never committed any crime with a victim after that.
Wow. Well, we’re the same age. I had a little fun but generally avoided trouble thanks to sober parents who cared. Did my best to pass it on.
I’m a couple years younger, one of four sons to a single mom. I should have been the poster boy for this stuff but somehow instead I was a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie.
+1 Breakfast Club
Good.
I had a little shoplifting problem in my early teens that by the time I was 15 or 16 I was deeply embarrassed by. I lifted candy and books. What a fucking nerd.
That was one helluva story, thanks for sharing, Blackjack. And thanks for giving me more perspective on life.
Thank you.
Thanks for the great read, Blackjack. It really hit home; I was heading in the same general direction (in a gentler rural South Florida way) but I ended up in the Army at 17.
Yeah, thanks. The army seems to help a lot of guys.
Damn Blackjack, thanks for the story.
I’m happy it was interesting. Thank you.
Damn Traitors!
Left Steam and no mods? Sonofabitch
Thank you, Blackjack. A harrowing read.
I’m really surprised and pleased your horrible youthful experiences didn’t get in the way of adopting your boy.
Thanks. All of this happened before I was 18. While I still went through the wringer with cops and courts, I never got convicted of anything except traffic stuff after becoming an adult. I could still write another couple of stories about the before and after. My whole life has had a crazy tinge to it ( albiet, contributed to by my own responses and actions.) I adopted Vinny at the age of 47.
I’m turning 50 in a week or so, and the GF is mad at life that she never got married and had kids. There’s no way I’m doing the infant thing again… but I could maybe see giving a home to someone who sleeps through the night, already has their teeth, and is toilet trained. How old was Vinny when you adopted him?
We got him at 6 weeks, but there are kids of all ages. I’m sure if you inquire with your local social services, they’ll lay it all out for you. It’s a process, but not horribly invasive. Hell, I passed it.
I remember couples who were very choosy about what kind of kids they wanted. There was also a number of sleazy ghetto types who obviously were in it for the money. They give you about 300.00 bucks a month for upkeep. I marveled at how anyone could see a profit from that. I spend more than that on just food. I guess the hood folk have their ways about such things.
Funny story, there was an asian couple and for the longest time they were adamantly wanting only an asian kid. I told them they had pretty much zero chance of getting that. Eventually, they seemed to soften on that. In L.A., if the county took the kids, they were black or brown, pretty much. My kid’s black.
How is it that Samantha Bee is such an humorless wretch on her comedynews show but the fiction she writes with her husband Jason Jones, The Detour is one of the funniest shows on television?
He doesn’t work on her show?
She was funny before she became an organ of the DNC.
Very true.
I forget her name, but one of the writers on the Sam Bee show is twitter-famous for being a humorless, stupid SJW twat. I assume the rest of the staff is the same.
You shouldn’t assume her gender.
You can be proud of yourself, Blackjack. It isn’t easy, I’m sure, to overcome the obstacles you faced. I thought a ‘C’ on my report card was a tough thing to deal with.
Thanks for the story, things I would never experience. Good job, man.
I read a bunch of books by Russians back when I lived in the bar. I always have thought that I was lucky not to be one of them, or a Jewish kid in 1930s Germany, or one of those Ethiopian kids in a Sally Struthers commercial, or.. well, you get the point.
::fist bump for Fourscore::
This kinda sums up my childhood.
“ most of those kids end up spending their whole lives in prison.” That’s so sad and true. School to prison pipeline, etc.
Thank you for sharing. I have two questions:
1) how do you remember all that from so long ago (I assume lack of alcohol/ drugs helps)?
And 2) how do you relate to yourself from so long ago? Do you feel that you are the same person, a continuation that has grown? Or do you not relate to your younger self at all, and feel as if it was a completely different person?
Wow, hard questions. I just have a really good memory, first off. I don’t really perceive a seam in my life. If you knew the before and after of it, you’d see it flows pretty well. It was hard to contain my article to just one period, because it kinda relates to both other ends. I will likely write another couple to fill it in. Thanks for the interest, btw.
Your story is definitely sending me down some avenues I traveled when I was younger that I would rather hadn’t happened but which touch on some points that Denver raised – how and why did I “turn my life around”? I’ve long since credited my mom’s strength of character for helping to “set me straight”, but still there is lots to ponder. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, I’m glad it was thought provoking.
You are probably in the minority of those who go through these experiences and then turn their lives around. To what do you attribute the turnaround? It would be great if we could “bottle it” and serve to the multitudes of kids in the process of ruining their lives.
Dunno. Biggest thing for me was getting sober. The actual nuts and bolts of the program really helped me. I had to fight tooth and nail against the more cult-like elements of it, though. I was rebellious against pretty much everyone. I eventually became a circuit speaker in AA and would talk to large crowds. I gave it up because it was such a struggle to fight for it. The desire for conformity is very strong, especially in former addicts.
Thanks Blackjack. That’s an amazing story
I went back and read the whole post in detail. My hat is off to you blackjack. You were headed the wrong direction and recognized the offramp. Good on you.
Thanks. I’m glad that I got on a different track. I’d love to find a way to make it a cautionary tale.
I’d love to find a way to make it a cautionary tale.
It starts by writing it down, which you have done superbly.
Great stuff black jack! I remember The keyhole in El Dorado park LBC
Hello from Bullhead City! Ten hours to the Daughter’s and 8 days off, yippee!
Thanks, man. Hope the road treats you right.
I assume the minister is dead now or else in prison for statutory rape.
Well done surviving that shit sandwich of an upbringing.
Have you noticed your lessons learned color the way you’re raising your son?
The minister, jeez. THAT reminds me of an incident where for some reason I can’t recall I was sent to live a couple weeks with my church’s keyboardist while my mom was in between boyfriends and my siblings were who knows where. I must have been around 10 or 11 years old. One night the guy took me to a pool party with a lot of attractive men. When I related this tale to an older brother a couple decades later – and after just coming out to him – he became furious. I explained that – really! – nothing happened. I already knew I was “different” and [REDACTED] was a perfect gentleman. OK, the wandering around his apartment nude after a shower was a little strange.
I have a similar story That happened a few years earlier than this, But it was very crazy. I’ll try and write it into another article.
Heh, I was an alter boy in the mid 90s when the Pedo Priest stuff was getting plastered everywhere. I remember seeing Lifetime movie or some such about the topic…Then my parish hosted a white water rapids rafting day with all the alter boys that ended at the priests cabin on the river. One of the alter boys in my raft was one of those ‘everyone knows hes gay but no one ever talks about it’ teens, and then we get to the cabin and are changing into dry clothes and all that was running through my head was this fear mongering. It was actually a fun day and I was not molested.
I would think that this sentence is the best ending to all anecdotes from adolescence.
Well, I am who I am. I gotta assume it’s affecting my parenting some. I only hope it’s for the better. I let my kid learn things for himself a lot. Many parents now are straight up pussies. I think it’s important for him to do things by himself, some. Probably more “free range” than most. I have faith in him to be OK and learn what he needs to.
H O L Y F U C K it rained balls out here.
Did you know it just comes down in sheets and soaks you as soon as you get out of your car? FUCKING WILD.
AND THE LIGHTNING. I was sitting on the porch and almost had to bolt inside it was so goddamn sudden and loud.
Did you know that rain builds up into rivers and almost floods streets? It’s F U C K I N G CRAZY.
And it goes on for ages! It’s been almost three hours. RAIN ALL DAY. Oh my God.
/life in Albuquerque when a proper rainstorm hits
I was in fact childlike and excited about a good proper soaking thunderstorm. The last time I experienced one of these my ears were pinned between her legs.
Yes about an hour ago, God came calling, awesome….
Right on blackjack. Enjoyed your story and glad you made it through all that craziness. Thanks for posting it. Would love more!
Thanks.
If I may inquire, you said you were sober for 30 years after getting busted. Did you go back to drinking or smoking? If so, what was the impetus?
Thanks for asking the question I wasn’t willing to, but the phrasing made me think the same thing.
Thanks for asking. I got into a bad motorcycle wreck and they gave me pain pills. I realized that I hated when they got me high and carefully took them in a way that helped with the pain, but fell short of getting me loaded. After that I realized I wasn’t a crazed alky/dopefiend any more. So, I tried drinking. I drink a few beers after work and some scotch on occasion, but I avoid anything more than a mild buzz. Except, of course if I go to a concert or a party, Then, it’s on.
Right on, I kind of got the sense from your description of your youthful partying that maybe drugs weren’t the main issue for you. I think the total lifelong abstinence thing is necessary for some who’ve had drug/alcohol problems but gets pushed too much for people who could manage moderation.
Wow blackjack that is quite a story. I read it more from the position of having a 15 year old son, and it just breaks my heart.Your ordeal, and no one being there for you. Or that other kid being used as a sex toy by the minister. argh. Mama bear instinct rising….
My boy’s so sheltered compared to all that. I worry sometimes he lacks resilience, but at least I know he has a good foundation of people who love him, if something awful does happen, or he gets with the wrong crowd, etc.
Anyway, thanks for sharing!
Thank you. Your kid’s stronger than you think. People persevere, it’s what we do.
Thanks for sharing that, blackjack. I have a close friend a bit older than you who is from that area. I lived in Cali for a while when I was older and he would take me by his old haunts every once in a while and tell me stories from that era and I just shake my head. I recognize the names and places.
By comparison, I was an east coast kid and the scene in the ’70s just seems so different (at least it seems so to me). It’s probably the age difference, as well. It’s funny because while we’re only three years apart, which is nothing now, the difference between 12 and 15 means everything in terms of what the experience was at that time.
Congratulations to you: for sticking it out, for making it out, and for making a difference in someone else’s life by adopting.
You’re a good man.
Thanks!
I hope you’ll write some more; you have a rich vein from which to mine. I expect your boy would appreciate it, too. If not now, sometime he will.
https://archive.li/5mURE/5ff8e9ab40bfd1e28ecf2bb45fafa6015d5fc56c.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/E78jA/b0b4dc4b379b858a39db74a157c7153a31cf8642.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/GUJgC/d6cb4750a43d6980d27f9bedfbd9a1ba2bb662a7.jpg
NSFW.
Literal meh. Could have been any porntress thumbnail chick growing up.
Vibes of Shelley Duvall, but not as sexy.
I grew up on Fairy Tale Theatre. Move over.
Meth safe for work.
Next.
Let’s see what’s happening on glibs. I only had time to read the first few paragraphs, but you got me hooked. Will finish after lunch.
Howdy straff
Sup Y man? Pushing 100F all next week, so tall cans are coming out.
Wait, in higher heat wouldn’t you want shorties so they don’t get warm before you finish them?
Now THAT is a good one.
What’s the official definition of “tall cans”? Is it based purely on volume, i.e. 24 oz? Does ABV factor in, i.e. 8% IPA 16 oz still count?
I want to be part of the cool kids and need to know…
NERD!
I’m just as my creator made me!
Depends on your height.
Wow…thanks for writing that up.
This is the kind of crap that makes breaking the jail / debt cycle so tough. They lock people up over piddly / unjustified crap and then there are all these secondary / tertiary effects that only exacerbates the problems. Too much money to be made in the prison industrial complex, unfortunately.
EVERYONE should read “A Man In Full,” where this is an element central to the plot.
Hmm… All right.
Go on…
Oh.
My apologies for the goofiness, blackjack. That was a fantastic write-up on a rough period for you. I am definitely hoping you’ll tell us more of the stories you mentioned. If there was actually anything for me to get into in my youth, I was really unaware of it. At least until HS, and, by that point, I wasn’t about to do anything so bold.
Yeah, I didn’t really go nuts until college, myself.
I was, I think, 27 or 28, when I really started college. So, nada for me.
Huh, I was 28 when I finally finished college, and I was already getting mad at how stupid all the kids around me were.
::pokes around the magazines, refusing eye contact::
Uh-huh…yeah…excellent.
Lots of people take 10 years to finish college!
Well, if I could get that 10 years back…
Hoo boy!
I shoplifted a twinkie in kindergarten. I still feel guilty.
What, “Your bad, and you should feel bad”? I was about that age one time in the grocery store, with my mom. I went to put some item in a coat pocket (thinking nothing of it other than not carrying it in my hand), when my mother freaked out and had to explain stealing/shoplifting to me.
I doubt you had a full grasp of the ramifications then. Even so, I would think you, of all people, have probably paid it forward/back/over/under by now.
If not, you always could.
Dear God–did I just do….yeah.
“You’re bad…”
I was talked into it by another kid, I knew what I was doing, and feel guilty. Catholic guilt and all that.
I gotcha. It applies to protestants, too. But I do figure you’ve done far more to be “good people’ since then.
Of course, if you want me to, I can try to steal some H&H merch….turn-about being fair play, and all.
Like there is a warehouse with Hat and Hair Merch? I’d rob that myself if it existed.
Well, maybe somewhere in Oz, or, SF….I dunno. Actually, I think the finished product comes in from East coast. You could do a Willy Wonka-type thing there for your customers!
Anyway, I was
thinkingimagining more along the lines of fraud on RB, but, I supposed they would see you paid anyway. At least I would hope so.I shoplifted a ton of books from both Waldenbooks and my school library and managed to convince my mom they all came from the neighborhood library. So I took a bunch of them to the public library as penance and tossed the rest which I hadn’t got caught with into a trash bin downtown.
Sinner.
Oh, he’s on a roll this evening…
If my dad were Big Tom Callahan, that movie would prolly be a biopic.
So, who plays the
spadeDavid Spade part?I’ve had many a side kicks through the years. And that’s just it, people others perceived to be my best friends were mostly just comedy sidekicks. My current neighbor filled that role in HS. Outside of school we didn’t hang out that much. As adults since he’s been my neighbor for about 4 years I’ve talked to him about that many times.
I……….have no answer for this.
/has a sad?
Oh, yeah: Did you find your keys?
I don’t really want to know HOW; just if you did.
I actually like it. I’m not a people person. I’d like it if the simulation programmers put in some more characters that had the romance option though.
That is… I dunno, a “DIY absolution*” thing, right there.
/whatever term is appropriate there.
That was around age 14 and the end of my life of (non-victimless) crime, FWIW.
Whoa! 14 and stealing books? Nerd Alert!
Did I mention I was raised Catholic?
Probably, and probably forgotten due to your mentions of your mom being single and a revolving door of ‘uncles’, I was raised stricter Catholic (which makes my mother’s actions since my father’s death traumatic to me, since she was the one pushing the Catholicism and he was Lutheran who are a bit more lenient on the sex stuff)
To be fair, we only became Catholic because of the Italian boyfriend my mom met when I was five.
I think the family background was a long-forgotten Lutheran.
PS. I was amused the other when I was poking around Google Maps and discovered my childhood Cat’lick church is now Pentecostal. Huh.
Re-purposed. Sort of.
I have many fond memories of the place despite the monster (and he was a monster) who introduced me to the place.
Funny how complicated life is.
Late to the party, just got out of the first Japanese class of the summer after not really studying since last term and my head is in a blender.
Loved this post blackjack and and your success. My brother got into a bit of teenage mischief that got way out of hand, ended up with what would have been a felony if he had been an adult or tried as one, did his time & probation, and worked his ass off since in both school and work. His hard work paid off again and again in his career, personal life, and now as a father. Other than his politics and veganism, I’m very proud of him.
I love this sentence.
#metoo
Trump: “I’m completely against Mueller testifying before Congress again!”
Nadler: “Oh yeah? Watch us!”
Could see that happening.
“Opposition” has to mean something!
Waaayy late. But damn BJ.
Stay out of trouble! Lol.
Glad it’s working out for you.