The Night Shift
Greeting to all the Glib movers, shakers, makers, lurkers, dreamers, weirdos, and, assorted riff-raff. It is I, your fellow night-filer, Sir Digby! I know, I know—just hear me out. This is my first attempt at an ongoing article series for glibs of, shall we say, non-traditional hours. I’m not quite sure what this is going to end up looking like, but, my plan is to make this something of a pot-luck offering: recaps, shout-outs, questions to get us thinking… Oh, and links: plenty of links. So, buckle up (or, don’t—I ain’t your papa) and let’s dive in:
I have something special for each of you.
News of the Weird. Because, when I think ‘Glibertarians’…
If it’s the case that, “When everyone is special, then no one is special”, can that reasoning be accurately applied as, “When it’s everyone’s problem, it’s no one’s problem”? I can’t help but think that things like this happens in plenty of places when people give up power to politicians. They end up effectively telling politicians to handle issues that don’t impact those politicians, and/or, don’t provide extra income for government actors. The citizenry is incentivized to pass the buck, and the stuff doesn’t get done. Of course, when someone gets the notion to actually do something as a private action, they get vilified by anyone threatened by the idea of a shrinking government.
Have some pups, kittehs, and a baby kangaroo to make your night. Or day, if the sun’s up in your world. If you aren’t checking out Daily Dose of Internet, you should be involuntarily committed. Six million people can be wrong, but, not for subscribing to his page.
Does anyone here watch One America News? I don’t think I have access to it via cable (not cord- cutting just yet!), but have in the past. Since it seems to be the Fox News little sister that no one pays any attention to, I am wondering what my fellow glibs have to say about their coverage/analysis. It seems the leftists hate it—are their criticisms valid? If so, would that be why they aren’t usually cited…well, anywhere that I have seen?
Question Time: What’s your favorite humming noise?
So, what’s the deal with the Glibertarian Discord? How does it “work” in conjunction with this site, if, at all? I feel like it could be my second third home, but, I seem to just associate it with Twitch streamers, and I put it out of my mind for the glibs. But, a scroll through the various sub-threads shows several contributors that I see here regularly, some that I recognize from the long-ago, and some where I just draw a blank.
Can’t get enough of leftist shenanigans in higher education? Oh, me neither! I highly recommend you check out Benjamin Boyce’s video series on what happened on Evergreen State College in 2017. Just be sure to have something for headaches and for vomiting handy (especially when you get to around the 7th part). Trust me on this.
I know many around here aren’t big on birthday acknowledgements. However, since I got so many well-wishes from my compatriots here this month, and I saw that Yusef and Lord Humongous were celebrated as well, I want to be contrarian. So, I’ll close up the month with a Happy Birthday to all of us August-born Glibs! And, if you don’t like bacon birthdays, well, then the hell wit’cha!
Let’s close this out with some very appropriate music.
*If you like having a night post for the weekends, and approve of this format, or, have suggestions on how to improve it, please say so in the comments–I am hoping this can be a collaborative effort.
First! Awww, fuck….
Give yourself an ass slapping GIF and charge it to my account.
You monster!
They did get served.
/taps mic
Is it just us here?
So… the other day…
Wait…did you never think it would happen to you? That’s a late night story worth hearing. Well, usually.
No. At this point it may be angry ranting. I’m trying to avoid that more, but it’s been rough since I got home today.
In fairness, it does involve a lesbian. But it was mainly bitching about the girlfriend.
Go on… For science.
If you really want the rant. I’m just about the right level of drunk to write it up. But it’s not something I can take back.
You can’t unring a bell, so, don’t commit if it’ll jeopardize anyone/anything. That said, we are all glibs here. If not, I’ll beat the heretics.
The girlfriend is aware of the site, but I don’t believe she has ever visited it. It’s getting to the point that I’m realizing that the relationship isn’t healthy for me, and one of my friends (the lesbian, to keep the stories straight), was commenting on it today.
As in, she agrees with that assessment?
The friend is surprised I’ve stuck with the girlfriend so long. And was talking about her own unhealthy relationship (no sex for years!).
Keep in mind, the lesbian friend did try to auction me off in a bar once. She may have an over-exaggerated idea of my worth to a straight woman.
Good to have someone in your corner like that. Is the un-health mental/emotional in nature? No need to answer if that’s getting too personal, obviously.
Sir Digby: It’s both mental and emotional. The girlfriend has never needed to work for anything in her life, has reached her early 40’s, has no goals, and just gives up anytime she encounters anything difficult. I’m reaching a point where I can’t keep being a surrogate parent to her.
I feel like I am closer to that than I’d like to admit. Different circumstances, but, that parental feeling is…ugh.
Yeah. She was spoiled through her entire life, and still tries to claim “Blue Color” roots. It’s led to some entertaining fights between the girlfriend (never worked 40 hours a week in her life) and my sister (got knocked up at 15, worked her way through massage school, then nursing school). I got into this thinking I could help, but I’m realizing it may be too late.
Well, good luck, and, God bless with that. FWIW, if you do decide to go that route, I’m sure we can make you a dating project, too. 😉
Sir Digby: Thanks, I appreciate it. But I have the feeling there would be at least a year or so of me just being alone for a while.
Well, Neph–When the time is right.
Sir Digby: That has never been a problem for me. And is it bad that the friend has expressed interest in me?
Is it bad? Oooohhhh….I’m the absolute wrong one to pose that question to. I can see the appeal, but I would always wonder when the novelty would wear off for her (presuming it would), and the “waiting for the other shoe to drop”. YMMV.
Sir Digby: There have been several times when things had a chance of going too far between the friend and I (at least from my perspective). The issue is the friend has gone through shit that I don’t have permission to talk about to anyone other then the girlfriend.
Gotcha.
Duck. I need to be asleep and here you are dropping new posts.
Damn you sir.
/actually I’m laying in bed when I need to be asleep hoping that wife lady can get the baby to sleep soon so that we can bump uglies before it gets too late.
See–this is what we need for a late-night article!
Uglies successfully bumped.
I’m sleepy. Goodnight.
SA-lute!
Note to Sir Digby: Make sure you select Standard for the post type, not Link, or it won’t publish on the front page.
Ahh! I was trying to get embedded links to show up in my cut-and-paste. Saw that, and thought it might be what I was looking for.
The more you know…
Some of us followed it by your lovely next article arrow.
And because we’re drinking heavily, and trying to stay engaged.
The next article arrow worked in this case. Usually I just accidentally hit it while scrolling & reading the last thread as I catch-up.
Hey Digs. This is great, I mostly lurk, but I’ll be here.
Someone mentioned OAN the other day and it’s now part of my regular rotation. Not a viewpoint I notice which is a good thing.
I’m and old fart and can’t deal with the Discord format. It’s like all the kids at work tring to do business via IMs. Fucking come talk to me. I do miss some of the folds that left here for there.
Same here, sorta. I miss the absentees, and I try to get involved, but, it’s kinda all over the place for me. So used to this format, it can be hard to switch gears.
Do you like OAN’s news? I didn’t watch it much when I had access to it. I just notice its absence from practically everything online that quotes news, links to news, etc.
/Lurk to your heart’s content
I gave up watching news years ago. I’ll read anything, but I won’t spend the time listening to people rambling on aimlessly – which it mostly is. Reading in can skim and see if the article is really going anywhere interesting or has anything to offer. Mostly watching I just give up after a couple minutes as no one seems to want to get to the point.
So, their site and not broadcast? If it’s in your rotation, I take it you find it worthwhile.
Case in poin the Evergreeen videos. I watched the first one. Holy fuck! People really do talk that way and worry about that shit. I’ll get back to it every so often for yucks, but the overload come pretty quick.
It absolutely does. Just the idea that there is a community where that much insanity is concentrated kinda makes me nervous.
This! Work IM is the worst invention ever. Getting interrupted every 5 mins for asinine questions a quick Google search would have solved is the bane of my corporate life. //rant off
Meh. I don’t mind it for most of the people who reach out to me. Of course they reach out to me because I’ll respond faster then the “official” channels, and my entire role is customer support and service. The ones who annoy me are those who decide that every thought needs to be broken out into a separate message in an asynchronous communication method. I don’t need a “Hello Nephilium.”, “Good [time of day]” before you include the shit you want me to look at for you. Type it all up, then hit enter. It saves keystrokes, and my attention.
From the second link:
What an absolutely shitty situation to find one’s self.
She Andy Dufresne’d that shi…stuff.
Ugh.
This married couple I’m friends with went out to her parents’ house in the country and brought their dogs. One of the little woofs came back with covered in brown stuff. At first they thought it was mud, but they soon realized that their septic tank had overflowed, and the dog rolled around in it.
Also from the second link:
Jeebus tapdancing heck, what is wrong with humans? It’s good to have hobbies and all, but wow – maybe something a little more constructive.
Hey–he’s constructing a new eunic!
Well…that’s…technically correct, I suppose…ha.
Maybe the guy was offering a security service?
/Let’s be honest: the guy in that call is probably the guy from the article, from the sound of it.
If both people are willing (and the couch is far enough away from the TV), IT can work.
I…see what you did there, and I’m impressed.
/removes cycling cap from head, and bows.
What does it say about me that that episode sorta ran through my mind when I saw the article?
On second thought, I’m not sure I want to know.
SP, Mom, and I watched “The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot.” Mom was baffled. SP and I liked it, but both felt that if it had ended twenty minutes earlier, it would have been a much stronger film. But when one guy is producer, director, and writer, well, no quality control.
I have nothing in common with you.
Because you thought it should have been 20 minutes longer? Or because you star in the movies you direct and think the quality is great?
I watched it, too, a few months ago. It was quite odd how they decided to finish it off. I will give the guy props for telling an interesting story. And, for getting Sam Elliott.
Larry Miller looked awful.
You know who else killed Hitler?
Quentin Tarantino?
Every time traveller ever?
Thx, Digs. When you guys are drunk, I’m sober and vice versa. This late night (for you) gives me the chance to be the axchully guy for a change.
Well fantastic for you. I hope your day is great. Go forth and win the day.
If waiting in the lobby for two hours while my kid has choir practice counts as winning, I’m Charlie Sheen.
Based on my experience with choir practice (minimal) waiting can be better then needing to listen.
/not a parent.
Yeah, not so much me. I’m sober right along with you. That said, cheers!
[stumbles in drunk and confused, asks where the soda machine is]
Tosses Derpetologist a can.
IPA? Blecch!
I’ll take the crab juice.
Which of the 4% salt and sour infused beers did you think was an IPA?
The derp may be rotting your brain.
I..just wanted to make an IPA joke, OK?
/tries to peg Derpetologist in the head with a can.
/ducks behind a wall at the rifle crack
#KhlavKalash
Better than Mountain Dew.
No Coke; Peps.
Said no one ever in this country.
Because they were human and said pop?
It’s “juice” for some odd reason.
No–I think they’re saying “Jews”. Remember: they were an Axis power!
Next to the panty machines in every alley?
Cigarettes, juice, beer, snacks, French fries, flowers, fruit, rice, business cards. Missing some, but panties market dried up a decade ago.
https://twitter.com/hinorj516/status/1080309073310998528?s=20
They eat ants and bee larvae somewhere. Tochigi? Miso, though? *Shudder*
I think I saw a YouTube video of bee larvae from a vending machine.
vegan feminist comedian
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF3-070okGA
It’s about what I expected.
Please…make…the…hurting…stop.
Feminist comedy- it’s like a TED talk but worse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0-fCn2ptvc
TED talks are great for people who need no evidence and like a shallow take on a complex issue. Glibs should love it. 😉
Watch more Chappelle.
It must be hard for her. Which self imposed label does she insist on screaming within the first five seconds of meeting someone new?
I want to say that Bonnie and her husband had some kind of dust-up with another comedian a couple of years ago. Or, with non-fans…something catty, but possibly deserved.
Right on Digby. I like the format, and like the time of day. I really dig this place. Late nite stories are the best.
Why, thank you! I am hoping it proves popular enough, and that it’s something I can do on a regular basis. Life always seems to interfere in these situations…
Fuck popularity. Do it for the fun and the rest will take care of itself. If it matters, the format is perfect for moi.
I would agree with that, if it weren’t for the idea that my enjoyment is tied into it being something others get it on/enjoy.
Festus inspired me to start on my next idea for a submission: In Defense of Lounge Lizards. Got a straight up zero from a lit prof back in Uni for writing a paper: In Defense of Tartuffe (the character). Prof was a raging feminist and clearly was biased given I had met all the sourcing requirements.
You need to reference the Leisure Suit Larry games.
There we go. My goal is to trace back LL as far back as possible. For example, I’d say Falstaff has some proto lizard elements. Could probably go as far back as Beowulf or even Gilgamesh.
I loved reading those game descriptions in the Sierra Online catalog. I think they had another adult themed series?
Well, Space Quest had a couple of adult themed jokes. But really you need to go to Infocom to go old school. Unless you really want me to dive into the history.
Would read it. Your earlier posts were solid. The tale of meeting the in laws was particularly good. Look forward to fiction.
Hey, thanks. I didn’t force that one, unlike some of the others.
OT: Tried some of that black spaghetti tonight (with scallops fried in olive oil). I noticed a flavor difference from regular spaghetti of approximately 0.00%.
I blame growing up in Cleveland, but “fresh seafood” has always been a lie here. Unless we’re talking about perch and walleye.
Quite true. In fact, Alton Brown (my revered cooking instructor) always said that if you live in an inland area, you’re probably better of getting frozen seafood since most of that is flash-frozen on the boat, and the “fresh” seafood may very well be frozen seafood that has just been thawed.
I guess the exception would be if you can get live seafood here in Ohio, like at Jungle Jim’s or Mitchell’s Fish Market (excellent fucking restaurant – the frutti di mare pasta is to die for).
The sad thing is I’m well aware of all of that, but being a kid and being exposed to some terrible seafood has spoiled it for me later in life. About every 10 years I retry stuff again to see if it works for me. I’ve still never liked mussels, clams, oysters, or crab. I can deal with most fish (though I’m not a fan of cod), but much prefer the flash frozen (/waves at Alton), or fresh caught (which here is Erie).
You talking about that squid ink pasta? Love that stuff.
It’s certainly interesting. I bought that pack of black spaghetti on Amazon because I wanted to try it before buying a ~20$ bottle of squid ink and making it myself.
(I’ve been obsessed with making my own pasta lately, and the spinach kind is my favorite. Goes really well with salmon or chicken. I wanted to try the black kind, but I don’t know if I’ll drop that kind of money on squid ink if it tastes exactly the same as plain pasta)
Wait, the noodles are black or the sauce is black?
This?
https://delishkitchen.tv/recipes/202977535418434794
With the kind I made, there was just a touch of squid ink in the dough.
Although I do understand that sometimes they put ink in the sauce as well. I just fried some scallops and garlic in olive oil and tossed the pasta in with some grated bellavitano cheese.
Thanks Sir D !
I like the idea of a late night post.
This place always shuts down so often right when im ready, the tragedy of the Pacific Time Zone, I’d thought, at least until you came along.
Come on, I’m here and live on Eastern time. Of course, I just have some simple work to do tomorrow and then I need to go drink beer all day.
Eastern time.
All right, if you prefer I live in UTC -5.
I aim to please. That would also be my motto if I were a porn star, but, that’s a totally different conversation.
I have wondered why you seem to be around, but not posting much at night, and now i know.
I often am caught up with work stuff during peak posting hours and had started to give up on checking in at 11pm California time (when is usually my most free time), though sometimes I have crossed paths with you and several others. But you devoting a special late night post seems to have attracted a cool crowd tonight, I hope it’s a good sign.
/Shrugs
/Cool crowd
/heads to bed
The coolest.
Sociology Professor Triggered By “Men Working” Sign
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix4kZurXg6s
Lady, the B Ark is *that* way…
I have told this story once before here, but since it’s late night and I’ve had a number, I’ll tell it again. It seems like the place.
In the late 90’s I got roofied one night in Rio. I had already spent six months in South America, and I thought I knew better, I should’ve known better. We had just gotten there a couple days before, and that morning we woke up to a guy getting shot outside our apartment. The general consensus seemed to be that it was the police. They left him there for several hours, at least after the first they tossed a sheet over him. I was planning on staying for a year In Brazil to teach English and travel around, my friend was staying ten days. By the end of the day we definitely needed to unwind with multiple beers, but unfortunately we chose the wrong bar. If Pedro’s Bar still exists there, be careful if you ever drink there. We met three girls in the bar and the suggestion was made by two of them to buy a bottle and go back to our place. I hid my wallet and passports between the mattresses. I thought they were going to take off with our stuff once everyone was asleep. That happened quicker than I thought. I even watched the one make the drinks, but she delayed in the kitchen for a couple seconds and the next thing I knew, they had drugged the other girl, my buddy, and myself. He started making out with the girl and I jumped on top and suddenly realized how fucked up we were. The last seconds before we passed out I remember trying to get off the couch to kick them out. Fuuuuck yoooou! I woke up in my undies and found my friend and the other girl passed out on the living room floor.
K; don’t go out for drinks with Farva!!
So did you wake up in your undies because the roofie chicks stole your clothes, or did you take them off yourself during your blackout period? Did your hiding your wallet and passport work?
I had already taken my shirt off to wrestle my friend and the other girl, and my shorts were easily removable. They were actually very nice thieves. They left me on the bed and left my passport and my kidneys and took about 200 in cash and all my travelers checks, save one that they left. Very kind. I woke up with a huge hangover and went out to the living room and my buddy and his girl are on the floor passed out. I had to go out in Rio, puking my guts out, and trying to get a police report so that they would refund the travelers checks. It took me all day, going around to different police stations, before I finally got to one that would take pity on me and write a report so I could get the money back. I came back to the apartment and my buddy was on the deck smoking a cigarette and looking self satisfied. “You’ve been in bed with that girl all day, haven’t you?” Friend grins.
And now we know… The Rest of the Story.
+1 Harvey
If I really want to let it out I will tell the story of getting deported to Paraguay for missing my date to renew my visa because I thought three months was the time and not 90 days.
/pulls up a chair and waits expectantly for a bedtime story
On a business trip once, I was literally scheduled to meet a pair of guys in Paraguay. I thought that was kinda funny. No one in Paraguay did though.
They were excited, however, that Asuncion was getting its first-ever supermarket, across the street from our hotel. I think this was in 2015.
Paraguay is no laughing matter, Doc.
Uruguay, on the other hand…
WTF? I just slogged through all the night link comments so I could jump in. Damn it SD. I have to sleep at some point.
Also, I don’t want what’s in your front pocket.
Also, I don’t want what’s in your front pocket.
You know what you don’t hear people say much anymore? If you have your hand in your pants pocket and someone says “hey, playing a little pocket pool there?”
Yes, you have to–that would be weekdays.
And, I was just trying to think ahead.
You bastard.
C’mon, Shaw-ey!
1. Neph: I’ve been wondering for a LONG time why you are with this immature woman. My $.02: you can’t help anyone who sees nothing wrong with the way they live or their worldview. And mostly in a relationship, you can’t help anyone who does see something wrong with it, either. Guess what? Generally, it turns out loving someone isn’t enough to help them. Lesson learned at 26 when I was leaving my first (disastrous) marriage.
2. Sir Digby: thanks for creating content for the late-nighters.
3. The chick in the septic tank was lucky. It’s often fatal to be trapped in one.
120 comments already!
You should notify Marketing and the site’s target advertisers about this new juggernaut.
We have a marketing department?
Not since Jesse went AWOL.
AWOL? I saw Jesse & fam just this evening. Well, not here, but still….
That’s great for you but its been a while since I’ve seen him here.
This is true for many of us.
Obviously, he likes me better. I can’t help it. I just have a way with people.
Don’t tell the old Juggernaut.
You realize…I never click on links on this site, right, Tulpa?
Pure Tulpa move, that is.
Thanks to you guys for having this damn good site. You made a wonderful camping ⛺️ spot.
You’re welcome, but the site would just be a pit of…I don’t know what…if TPTB had been left all alone to amuse themselves. The community is what makes this place special.
Thank YOU for making it happen, SP.
It’s time to play everyone’s favorite game:
Which gender studies professor has the wackiest bio?
tonight’s winner hails from Berkeley
***
Sé Sullivan (They/Them/Theirs) is a Queer Genderfluid scholar activist whose work examines the relationship of identity and representation through three primary locations: Structural, Institutional, and Individual. In May 2017, they completed their dissertation entitled “Conversion Therapy Ground Zero: Interrogating the Production of Gender as a Pathology in the United States”. Drawing on their research on sex, gender, race, and identity formations as a means of delineating what is “normal” and/or “aberrant,” Sullivan argues that normative expectations of Gender are constructed to be a pathology that enables medicalized violence on bodies of children who “fail” to meet this social-medical expectation of Gender performance. Using autoethnographic methodologies, transfeminist theories, and archives – including a transcript of themselves at 8 years old being interrogated at the clinic – Sullivan was able to develop a methodology that included being both the researcher and the subject. Theoretical literature with primary data linking their own childhood memories as a patient/survivor to the development of the nomenclature on Gender Dysphoria at The U.C.L.A. Gender Identity Research Clinic (GIRC) (1963–1994). Currently they are working on a book manuscript based on their dissertation research that links theoretical and personal narratives, and archival research to help move us beyond binary reductive Gender outcomes. Sullivan teaches courses on cultural representations of sexualities, queer theory and decoloniality.
***
https://womensstudies.berkeley.edu/about/department-faculty/se-sullivan/
Did this person go through conversion therapy and say, “You wanna see fucked up?!? I’ll show you fucked up…”?
If the preferred pronouns are they, I’m doubting they use “I”.
honorable mention:
https://www.femst.ucsb.edu/people/jennifer-tyburczy-0
***
In addition to her work as a teacher and a writer, Tyburczy is also a performance artist and a curator. She has performed in Austin, Chicago, Houston, Mexico City, and Tijuana…
***
Did that Tijuana performance involve a donkey? Asking for a friend.
***
While queer and dissident sex was central to the exhibition and to the book Sex Museums, both also showed how sex has consistently been used as a political tool to silence all kinds of minority voices on issues that range from immigration to religion, to race, gender, and disability, to globalization, capitalism, and neoliberalism.
***
How…how do these people function? At all?
I’m asking the same question. I think they contemplate the politics of getting out of bed. I mean JFC not everything is political and not everything is about you.
Someone at The Root is very jealous they didn’t think of this first. Just substitute black for queer.
The photo is a hoot, though.
I’m second to none in my admiration for your relentless discovery of all things derp.
Pimpin’ ain’t easy. The thug life chose me.
Se Sullivan, for those who can’t click the photo, has that same six-strands-of-hair beard you so often see with F>M transgenders.
“…for those who
can’twon’t click the photo”FTFY
Smart move. You’ll sleep better.
Heh. Next door neighbor girl from high school transitioned later in life. She was my first under-bra grope and I think that my buddy actually went home run with her. All that I know is that he just won’t talk about xer no mo.
Gender fluid is what you put in a tranny, right?
?
You’d better call the police ’cause I’m stealing that.
Where the heck is Festus? I figured he’d be
the only one herefront and center for this?Passed drunk in a chair with the TV on?
You sell me short, Good Sir! I only do that on Saturday morning.
It’s like you really understand the Glibertariat on a deep level.
Deeper than a septic tank? We might actually have company in there.
You didn’t post a photo of a cute girl getting analingus from a horse. But I’m here now!
::fights urge to say “glad you came”::
*snerts beer thru nose*
A little something for Derpetologist.
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/08/31/new-york-times-scientist-says-shes-received-yoda-like-advice-from-shrubbery/
I am Roger, the Shrubber–I design, arrange, and sell shrubberies.
The bear came back again tonight even though we have no more seeds to give. That lumbering brute is gonna get reported by the soccer moms and meet his maker pretty quick. It’s a shame because he really is a fine specimen if you dig black bears.
..ew.
I’m surprised you’re not more worried.
SP asked for it- so I’m gong to roll a final cigarette of the night and recount. I was in Brazil in the late 90’s and I thought that in order to stay the entire year there teaching English to the natives, that I would have to work some kind of visa maneuvers. If figured to use my Irish passport and stay for three months and then renew it for another three months, which they generously allow. Then I would go to Argentina for a week over the new year and return to get another six months. Good plan, but I didn’t quite grasp that it wasn’t three months, but 90 days. The 31st counts. When I got to the Federal Police office they were happy to put two full pages of deportation stamps into my passport and tell me to leave Brazil within a week or face the wrath of the authorities. I already had a job in the town and they told me, no problem, just go to Paraguay….
You left out the best part. Are Paraguayan girls as hot as Brazilian girls?
They are not, Festus. After a 15 hour bus ride to the border of Paraguay, I got out and into the exit line. I had a Germanic Brazilian border guy look at my passport and when he saw I had deportation stamps he got very angry, told me that I was a bum and that I should go to Paraguay with the rest of the bums. If I thought of coming back he would be there and be sure to throw my ass in jail. Vai porra pra O Paraguay, seu vagabundo. I went to Paraguay, it was terrible, Ciudad del Este is one of the worst places I have ever set foot. I couldn’t find a place to stay for any reasonable price and ended up in a kind of whorehouse. That sounds a lot more fun than the reality. I needed to get back to Brazil. I had most of my things there and a job waiting and I was running out of money. When I got up in the morning I was determined to make it back to Brazil. I walked the Friendship Bridge back and when I got to the border post I could see that it was not my German buddy, but someone else. I got in line and could see that my Aryan border cop was still in the exit area which was twenty yards away. I told the Brazilian entry guy that questioned the deportation stamps that I forgot to renew because I was having such a good time in Brazil and he laughed and stamped me an entry pass.
That 2nd guy was a bro, and did you a solid. It’s guys like him that make me kinda regret that there’s such a thing as ‘Brazilian Fart Porn’.
How have I never heard of this? Are you HM hiding behind yet another alias? As to the Paraguayan question I can believe this. No beaches.
I honestly have no idea how… HM is worldly, but, does he dig on dig on cultural things from South America? Or, farts?
Or, redundancy?
HM eats ass, loudly and proudly!
Well, in that situation, he could be referred to as “Echo Chamber”.
Ha ha! Love it. I will stay away from that.
Thank you for the story!
Your first link was worth the price of admission. Thanks for doing this Digby and SP.
Meh..Chafed turned it down.
Excuse me…. ::runs away sobbing::
/tyvm
Good night SD.
https://youtu.be/RG69PMDBfaE
Nice. You say goodnight to SD, but not me. *sigh*
And, he just had to get in one more jab at me…
You’ll have to revoke his pass. Or, ground him.
https://youtu.be/f1gfZwejPv8 I didn’t know that this would actually fly as I never received my engraved invitation to your “special” little party.
That is why I try to be as quiet as possible in those instances–she doesn’t get a chance to push me off of her, and, I get cake!
Damn, I messed that one up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_asNhzXq72w&list=WL&index=17&t=0s
I helped push for this so you can count on my participation forthwith. I’m feeling a little like I did yesterday when I half-drunkenly agreed to join Wifey’s friend’s Friday night bowling league. Trepidation, regret, sorrow and a dose of stage fright. Nothing that a few dozen beer won’t cure…
Damn you, Performance Anxiety!!!!
I’ve spent the last ten years distancing myself from just such scenarios. What were you thinking you stupid, stupid man?
Me? Probably about fart porn…
Well I can’t stop thinking about it NOW…
It can have that effect, it is known.
I was referring to myself but that works too. I’m like Mark from Peepshow. I just want to sit home, eat biscuits and read about history.
Friday night bowling with a gaggle of post-menopausal hens. I think I might wear a cast iron frying pan over my butt. When I was a young Festus I worked as a waiter at the country club. Ladies Night was the absolute worst. Poor tippage and bum bruising. Some of those old broads would get a few too many gin rickeys in them and full-on grasp your ass like they were Lebron charging the net.
Did I mention that they are some of her “horse friends”? The most earthy women on the planet except for nurses? Pray for Festus.
Look at Festus over here–talkin’ a good game about his pinchable ass!
And, “earthy nurses”? I always put nurses in the same category as waitresses and hair stylists. That is, women who are usually pretty well put-together…in many respects. Or, is this more about (post)menopausal women?
This is how I envision my Friday evenings for the foreseeable future – https://youtu.be/9T38OcxS30g
I was referring to my 18 year-old bum, not the one that’s hitching a ride nowadays. And nurses are some of the dirtiest girls that you will ever meet. I dated at least a dozen of them back then, so much so that my friends used to taunt me about it.
Oh, so, you’ll be swimming in cash!
You discount the part wherein the previous dancer was assaulted by the Chicken Lady.
Always look on the bright side of
lifean assault.Even if, IF, they leave my bum alone I’m still going to be subjected to two hours of cackling and incomprehensible “humor”. Festus knows how the chicken ladies roll..
Mmmmm….chicken rolls…. ::gurgle::
Well, goodnight, all. Off to bed at a remarkably early time. Have fun, but not too much fun!
Done and done. And, I mean “done”.
That’s a great reference NANI and good night to SP. It’s almost as if she stayed around long enough to ensure that every little lamb made it back to the fold…
Just watched the Fleccas link. Gives me a little hope for the future.
A smidge, yep.
The cynic in me asks about the editing but the drunk in me says “It’s all good”.
I agree about editing concerns. I will say that Fleccas seems to be trustworthy so far. I figure if he were creating a narrative through editing, someone(s) would have countered by now.
I’ve finished an article about the Japanese language. Heroic Mulatto did me a solid and edited it for me. Not sure if I should ask SP to publish in this time frame during the week or hold it for next weekend.
I’ve also written up the biggest parts about my backpacking trip from Paris to Hong Kong in 1993. I’m trying to make some time to finish that up. Too much life has been getting in the way.
*Ears perk up, tail starts twitching*
Dang…Paris to HK! I am looking forward to both!
You would definitely be doing me a solid if you request it for next week, This should give me time to curate a new article with some time cushioning.
Of course, that’s just my druthers–do what works.
My problem is that, while I am awake during this time frame, the weekends are when I am on daddy duty for my two grade-school boys. Right now I happen to have a few free minutes but it would be difficult to be available for a lot of discussion. 8 hours earlier during the week or 3 hours later any day would work better for me.
When my Japanese sword articles were published that was really late at night for me and not too convenient.
Dang. Well, like I said, whatever works best. Looking forward to them whenever they go out.
The PTB are not losing sleep over this. Open the Floodgates!
The Paris-to-Hongkong saga is the meat of the trip. After Hongkong I flew to Thailand for 4 weeks, then a couple weeks on Taiwan before another couple weeks on Okinawa. From Okinawa I took a freighter to Tokyo. The post-Hongkong episodes were surprisingly less adventurous.
Well, it’s a lot of ‘ground’ covered!
Funny that 26 years later there are so many details from that trip that seem clear as day – I’ll never forget them.
I did a backpacking trip through China – 4 weeks – in 1988. That’s one of the few things in my memory that has similar staying power. Details from that are still strong in my mind.
Yeah….probably my most “eventful” trek was the Summer I was 12, and I walked with a friend about 3 miles to a Pizza inn buffet for lunch. When I was already sick to my stomach.
The ~2 miles back was….unfortunate.
/fml
If you’ve never done the Fireman’s Carry for a passed-out drunken friend at fifteen while running from the RCMP then you haven’t really lived. That happened twice. Same friend.
The first time we were at the rink and he still had his skates on. I got him 3 miles home somehow and dumped him on the front steps. His parents were super grateful and had me in for many Tom Collins while Steve puked his guts out. The second time we weren’t as fortunate and the cops found us in a hay field when all of my friends abandoned me. They dragged Steve out by his heels at the Police station to his Dad. Third time was the charm, we just got pulled over and he got a DUI. Hero to zero in three easy steps! Steve and I didn’t hang out much anymore after that.
Festus, I’m glad your friend was able to carry you away from the loving embrace of the RCMP.
I resent that! Nobody ever carried ME anywhere except for that one time with the Everclear and Grape Kool-aid. I swear that I didn’t wake up in a different city the next day!
He was my best friend from 9 to 15. His parents practically raised me. They’d take me everywhere with them. I was the brother he never had but Jesus Christ that guy couldn’t handle his booze. He got his second DUI because he passed out at a stop-light in Vancouver and when the cop knocked on his window he snapped awake and drove forward, taking the door off the police car.
I can’t handle my booze either, at lest when I get going. Always best to drink at home alone, avoided all sorts of pig shit. Learned that in highschool.
I can’t be sure, but I have a cousin who was a deputy out in the Midland/Odessa area back in the late 90’s. And, I think it was Odessa. I sincerely hope he wasn’t around for the shooting.
/Dad’s side, who I haven’t seen in…..20+ years.
Too close to home, buddy. Hope all are well and safe. I’ve got estranged family that I never think about anymore and once in awhile an obituary will pop up in my feeds. I was fond of my cousins growing up so it’s always a shock when someone like that kicks off.
I don’t really have anyone I can ask that would know. I can check for teletype messages at work tomorrow to see if his name is mentioned, but, that presumes we got anything. Otherwise, I’ll have to wait for news articles.
#NoNewsIsGoodNews
Also, thank you.
And, you, too, Tejicano
I hope your cousin wasn’t involved.
It sounds like this one started from a traffic stop – not the usual planned attack. Seems like the guy tried to shoot his way out and then just started shooting anybody. I wonder if we’ll ever find out what really happened.
Nah. It will get “Vegas’d” unless it fits a preconceived narrative. Strange that the Vegas shooting has been memory-holed. Mysterious even…
Is there anyone who is still trying to keep the story alive, press-wise?
Nope. I don’t do dark-web but I can’t remember any mainstream outlet mentions for months. It’s just too fucked up to leave it alone the way that they have.
I’m sure the numbers are added to the toll whenever they blather about “gun deaths” but there definitely was something they didn’t want to see the light of day on that one.
My “Outrage Meter” is broken at this point. I’ve got a bear in my yard and my ceiling is fucked.
I find it interesting how that shooter in VA was quickly memory-holed. He was definitely the wrong color for the narrative but he had also passed the NFA background check as well as having a Secret clearance from his time in uniform. Two of the strictest background checks you could devise.
Who?
No, really.
Probably the Navy shipyard shooting at NAVSEA. Shooter was an African American naval employee.
Did not fit narrative.
Ahh, I remember that . Always thought navsea woulda been Ann easy place to work. Just reviewing the work of actual engineers, probably fucking off for half the day. ..
So I guess this is probably the limit for the night shift around here.
I stepped out to order Indian for dinner. Hanging out at a local bar having a frosty one while they get my order in order.
I guess Straff is home having dinner with family. Pie probably thinks it’s too early to check.
Or maybe my on-line presence has a similar effect as my presence IRL.
Nope. Still here. I’d say that Sir Digby and SP’s experiment yielded promising results even though I was the biggest blabber-mouth.
I’m still around.
And, I think I was the jabberjaws tonight.
*peeks in on thread, quietly leaves*
No need to be that quiet. Kick up a racket!
https://youtu.be/BR_LUxZXydY
Woot! Links for insomniacs, late shifters, and viewers from distant lands.
Me likely.
Daily dose of Internet is a gem.
Wow….isn’t it quite late for you?
Yeah, but I went to bed early, 9PM Pacific, so I just woke up.
Well, come on in–the water’s fine.
Hey Hayek! Read up thread for youthful drunken shennanigans! There were many and sundry. I barely scratched the surface with that one tale.
You are on a tear tonight aren’t you? 🙂
I’m talkative to the point of frustration or so my betters have informed me a time or two… You’d best get it while the gettin’ is good because I also clam-shut my mouth most of the time.
So my little guy got up, had about half his breakfast and decided it was time for a nap. There’s something nice about having your own little human sleeping on you.
Damn. I prefer cats but you do you… j/k That’s really cool, Lack!
You’re taking natural pride in inflicting your DNA on future generations.
Nice going!
🙂
The best thing is he’s really cute now. And tall. Will probably be popular with the ladies, hoping my genetic existence is eternal.
Speak of the devil. ..
Ugh. My cooktop is the worst one I’ve ever used. Kitchen is nice and big with granite countertops and all that, but the electric cooktop has tiny burners that are medium at best when they say High.
I will replace that fucker sometime but it’s not in the budget or schedule just now.
Can anyone recommend a decent electric skillet in the meantime??
I can recommend induction countertop cooking elements….
https://www.amazon.com/NuWave-30153-Precision-Induction-Cooktop/dp/B00915Z27G
Have used them almost daily for years. You just have to have induction cookware.
Huh. Cool. I didn’t know they made free-standing induction surfaces!! I will definitely check into it.
I was already considering induction for the permanent replacement of the crap I have now, so this would be a good opportunity to try it out and get over remaining trepidation’s.
Thanks!
My pleasure.
Tried convincing the wife on an induction stove. She was afraid of the em field, plus wanted to be able to toast things over the open flame, so we went with gas. Guess how many times she’s roasted some thing.
Tell her that’s what Sterno is for.
I’d venture once, just to spite you and never a roasted item was seen, ever again.
Ok why in the actual fuck did my phone add an apostrophe to trepidations? It just tried to do it again!!
Honestly, how often is that wired used in a possessive sense???!!!
Looks like NuWave has a newer version. There are other brands, but I will vouch for the version I linked. VERY fast heating up.
Just buy the one from the shady Albanian that glows blue-hot when you plug it in. Come on Girl, you do this for a living!
My Albanians always glowed kind of red before getting all ashy when I plugged them in.
I wish we had a gas stove, but that isn’t common here. Probably a combination of the granite mountains on which my house is perched and on the earthquake consequences.
If you can’t make naan, it doesn’t get hot enough.
Akira inspired me to give the ol’ squid ink pasta a shot for dinner tonight. Turned out a little salty for some reason, but the kid and wife loved it, so SUCCESS.
https://imgur.com/a/wKnF98o
Man, you gave us the $.50 tour!
You’re a braver man than I, Gunga Din.
You’ll notice I made the kiddo pull the hood off the squiddo. That was a bridge too far.
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
It really does look like that. Totally grossed out the entire time, but just tried to focus on how good it tastes when done.
What, Todd Bridges? Bridge Over the River Kwai?
I used to shock my Step-kids with food like that. It was kind of a challenge to me because they had grown up thus far with a pretty UCS diet. Most of the time it turned out right but once in awhile, not so much.
I am not an Islamaphobe. I am not afraid of Islam or its practitioners. I am of the opinion that the founder, Mohammed, was a delusional pedophile con artist, but that’s no reflection on his followers. I also think Joseph Smith was a con artist, and Mormons turned out just fine.
All that said, I do have a problem with face veils. Not the hijab, which is the hair covering that still shows the wearer’s full face. But I do have a social issue with the covering one’s face in public.
They claim it’s for piety and Godliness, but if you read English language sites for Muslim women, they gloat about how it gives them an advantage psychologically over the rest of us. We humans consider it polite to look each other in the eye. We expose our whole face to be read by our interlocutor. When we can’t see the face of the other, it’s a disadvantage and an insult.
Security becomes a joke when full veils are allowed on photo IDs. Who are we kidding?
/rant
Have lived in 4 different countries. Never one where Muslims were the majority. No thanks. The only thing worse than government is a government based on backwards, primitive thinking. Separation of church and state at a minimum.
Just what Tulpa would say… 😉
Seems that not only do none of you work, but nobody here sleeps, either.
Admittedly small sampling. Would also love to get Rufus in here now–see his wee foamy mind blow’d up.
So I tried the other edible as an experiment (Yeah, that’s the ticket… An Experiment!) and survey says that whatever this is supposed to do is the opposite of what they claim. “Sleep aid my eye!” It’s just a deep body stone and hyper awareness. I guess I’m just not wired like other folk.
Hang in there. Sloop has some links coming in a minute.
Nope. Tapping out. Gotta get some chow, close my eyes and watch movies.