So I do drop into Twitter now and then just to see how amazingly stupid and horrible people can be. And they never disappoint me. Sloopy gave me a heads up about the ACLU wiping their asses with the Sixth Amendment, and I knew that if they were called on it, the flying monkeys would descend. Which they did. See, due process means that if you’re accused of sexual assault, you can’t be allowed to question your accuser because, you know, you’re presumed to be a rapist. And anyone who thinks that there’s a presumption of innocence and a right to confront your accuser at a hearing held by the State with massive penalties if you lose is a rape apologist. Even worse, Sloopy and Banjos are perverts for posting pics of their happy and confident kids. It really was delicious. You can start here to follow the fun. And here’s the profile pic of the woman who wants to lead the lynch mob.

SugarFree’s first reaction, “Level 8 Librarian.” And fuck, he was absolutely right. Was it the smug smirk? The carefully painted eyebrows? The pasty complexion? The reference to her cats as her “children?” Dunno, but SugarFree is rarely wrong. All she’s missing is the cup of cocoa.

Well, enough of this deliciousness. Let’s see whose birthday it is today. The true Lord of the Rings; the guy who created the ultimate let-down; a guy who, if he could, he’d give you such a belt; a sax dude with the biggest, brassiest sound I’ve ever heard come out of that instrument; and a woman who always evinces the reaction, “Wait, why am I reading this?”

News to come.

 

Because “covfefe” was too substantive a controversy, we now have this one to lighten things up.

 

Ever navigate the parking lot at a Patel Brothers grocery? This will come as no surprise, then.

 

Ha Ha, missed me!

 

R. Kelly is his spirit animal.

 

I wonder if she was in that Twitter mob? Well, fuck the Phillies, anyway.

 

I like how WaPo carefully omits the “…while throwing Molotov cocktails” part.

 

Molon labe, motherfuckers. Say, who’s the boss of DoJ? Oh, yeah, Trump. Fuck you, Donnie.

 

Old Guy Music has birthday boy Sonny Rollins playing his second most famous tune with Miles Davis. Fuck, this is just great.