What a delightful Sunday morning! I’d best stay out of local sports bars, since the Cardinals are the next ones in the Ravens’ tumbrel. And people carry here. On the bright side, I may have found employment, but we’ll see if I get past their nearly proctological background checking…

Speaking of which, today’s birthdays include a rather multidimensional guy; a rather mysterious woman; a rather funny essayist; a rather crooked attorney general; an exception to my rule about hyphens; and a quarterback with one fewer championship rings than Joe Flacco.

On to the news!

 

I know, let’s get involved!

 

I know, let’s get involved!

 

The future of medicine. Because somehow we need to make sure that death rates are fair.

 

Hate crimes in Trump’s America.

 

Department of the Obvious.

 

Mom says, “This could have been you as a kid.”

 

Clearly I’ve been Jewing all wrong.

 

When Border Patrol agents get shot doing shit not at the border, I have a hard time feeling sympathetic. The 100 mile constitution-free zone is pernicious and any politician supporting it should be impeached.

 

One-eyed man in the land of the blind.

 

Old Guy Music today features another birthday boy, and may even be on theme for me.