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The Awesome Adventures of Secret Nazi President!!!11!!1!!! Vol 37:

Posted by BakedPenguin | Sep 19, 2019 | Comic, Satire, Secret Nazi President | 305

 

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About The Author

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305 Comments

  1. kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 11:10 am

    Some days I miss Moscow. There is something special about Slavic women in see-through blouses in the summer time.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 11:32 am

      All five days of it?

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:52 am

        I’m guessing Russian women don’t bundle up until temps dip below 32 F at least.

      • kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 12:08 pm

        This is where you are wrong — weather is a sinusoidal function.

        Summer is three months. Spring and fall are almost non-existent. Winter is 9 months.

    • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

      Russian mail order bride… check.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

        Cash works too.

  2. Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 11:11 am

    For her own safety, Svetlana should have a full body exam.

    • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 11:46 am

      https://youtu.be/8mVwa6t_Apo

  3. Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 11:13 am

    I don’t know why, but “Don Barzini” caught me unawares. I lol’d.

    • MikeS on September 19, 2019 at 11:18 am

      Everything about that pic had me lol’ing. Well done, BP!

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:21 am

        Same, I lol’ed at my desk….hoping nobody notices that I’m not getting much accomplished.

        I’ve postulated this before but how long before SJW’s start screaming for the Little Rascals to be taken down from all streaming platforms? I really enjoy watching them on youtube.

        • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 11:27 am

          I though bill Cosby bought the rights to keep them off the air.

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:30 am

            Snopes rates this as false, for whatever that’s worth.

          • The Other Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 11:39 am

            I looked it up on Snopes too. I still haven’t looked up the Babylon Bee rating of the Snopes article.

          • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 11:41 am

            I should have known better, since my mom told me that.

        • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 11:35 am

          They actually made a reboot. My kids watched a few episodes and realized it wasn’t as fun as the movie in the 90’s.

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:38 am

            I don’t see how it possibly could be. The 90’s movie was good from my dim recollection but the 30’s version still makes me ROTFL

          • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 11:43 am

            How redundant.

          • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 11:44 am

            https://youtu.be/T97mIbbRBxg

          • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:01 pm

            Alfalfa from the ’90s escaped his ’30s counterpart’s sad life, too.

          • Gadfly on September 19, 2019 at 1:38 pm

            The 90’s movie was good from my dim recollection

            The 90s movie also had Donald Trump. Secret Nazi President strikes again!

      • Rhywun on September 19, 2019 at 11:24 am

        Yup – prolonged laughter at that.

      • Tundra on September 19, 2019 at 11:30 am

        Yep, although “Reefer Negro” wins.

        • MikeS on September 19, 2019 at 11:43 am

          “Fat Tony” really got me for some reason. And yes, “Reefer Negro” was the Piece of Resistance.

        • Fatty Bolger on September 19, 2019 at 12:06 pm

          I was already laughing and that put it over the top.

  4. Don Escaped Texas on September 19, 2019 at 11:14 am

    Barzini

    * giggles, sips coffee *

    thank you, sir

  5. mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 11:15 am

    All those little people that did big things…the Little Rascals!

  6. Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:36 am

    The Bee kills yet again:

    https://babylonbee.com/news/group-of-third-graders-to-dictate-nations-climate-change-policy

    “These kids have ideas and they are passionate, so we must listen to them,” said Sen. Brian Schatz of Hawaii. “There are no possible downsides to taking kids who have been told the world is ending by the public school system and allowing them to dictate national policies on important issues.”

    • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 11:38 am

      The only problem with satire sites is that with all of the craziness being posted nowadays is that you can’t tell sometimes between satire and straight reporting. I’m not sure the business model can be sustained.

      • wdalasio on September 19, 2019 at 12:02 pm

        you can’t tell sometimes between satire and straight reporting.

        “Which is why they must be silenced as fake news!”
        – Snopes

    • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 11:40 am

      Lol…

      The kids came up with the following list so far, though they say they’re “just spitballing” and the ideas need some fleshing out:

      Bribing the climate with cookies and candy
      Putting the climate on time-out
      Just ignoring climate change and playing Fortnite
      Building a giant magnet and sucking up all the bad climate stuff
      Buying a Nintendo Switch for every person in the nation (so they’ll stay inside and play Nintendo instead of driving cars)
      Making a big freeze ray gun like in Despicable Me and shooting the climate
      Pointing and laughing at cows who fart so they’ll be embarrassed and stop farting
      Hey do you guys want to play some Minecraft? This is boring.

    • The Other Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 11:46 am

      David Hogg is upset that his group didn’t get Fortnite breaks.

      • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 11:49 am

        Dude is crushing so much Crimson puss right now, bro.

        • R C Dean on September 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          Crimson puss

          That would be woke SJW fifth-wave feminist non-gender binary puss?

          Lucky him.

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 1:01 pm

            Agreed.

        • Suthenboy on September 19, 2019 at 2:52 pm

          I have a hard time believing that.

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:49 am

        I’m sure he is taking several Fortnite studies classes at Harvard. The nice thing about a degree in virtue signalling/activism is the broad array of topics one can study.

    • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

      On a related but non-satirical note: kids will no longer get a toy with a kid’s meal at Burger King in the UK. Take a wild guess why….

      It said the decision was part of a wider commitment to reduce its use of plastic and was “spurred on” by sisters Ella, nine, and Caitlin McEwan, seven, who started a petition against Burger King and McDonald’s using plastic toys in children’s meals.

      Isn’t it darling when people use their kids as political hand puppets?

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:00 pm

        And earn them raw and deserved animosity from their peers. Take a good look at them kids, those are the assholes that will make up the political class when your generation comes of age.

        • Pope Jimbo on September 19, 2019 at 12:30 pm

          We didn’t have a McD’s in my home town when I was growing up, so not sure if there were plastic toys or not back in the Day. I do know that I would have kicked the shit out of any kid in my school who started a petition to remove the plastic toys from the Wishing Well at the local Perkins.

          I hope those two kids get chased home from school every day from now until they move into a cave in Tora Bora.

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:47 pm

            It’s blatant cult leader shit. Prove your loyalty, give up something harmless yet dear to you to show evidence of your faith.

          • Suthenboy on September 19, 2019 at 2:54 pm

            That is exactly what it is. That, and make a fool of yourself publicly by repeating complete gibberish as if it is the God’s truth.

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:00 pm

        Kids hate toys! Everyone knows that.

      • Fatty Bolger on September 19, 2019 at 12:10 pm

        When are they taking the plastic out of the burgers?

      • Rhywun on September 19, 2019 at 12:24 pm

        I was going to guess it was because toys are only used to hook impressionable kids on hamburgers for life.

        • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:27 pm

          You say that as if it were a bad thing!

          Besides, my daughter always gets the chicken nuggets

  7. AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Another great episode BP:) lol

  8. The Late P Brooks on September 19, 2019 at 11:37 am

    They all want pudding.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 11:39 am

      But did they eat their meat?

      • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 11:41 am

        +1 Stand still laddy!

        • MikeS on September 19, 2019 at 11:47 am

          Is that what they say there? Years ago a buddy and I had a alcohol fueled debate over it. We must have replayed it 50 times.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 11:58 am

            Dude…It only works on vinyl, and you’re supposed to set the needle on when the MGM Lion appears.

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:39 am

      Before or after their cake?

      • Nephilium on September 19, 2019 at 12:22 pm

        Why not both?

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:36 pm

          In case you didn’t get the reference I tried to link it but evidently it’s been memory-holed by youtube 🙁

          • Nephilium on September 19, 2019 at 12:48 pm

            Oh, I got the reference, just riffing on the standard response to or questions here.

          • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

            I noticed that. I was going to show it to someone but couldn’t find it.

  9. MikeS on September 19, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Following Bob’s lead…

    Canadian Announces His Preferred Pronoun Is ‘Eh’

    Liam says the only time he has had trouble getting people to respect his preferred pronoun is when he took a short trip to the United States. “People are calling me ‘he’ and I’m like ‘eh’ and they say ‘he’ and I just keep saying ‘eh’ and all they do is laugh at me,” Tremblay reported in a blog post from New York. “Absolute bigotry down in the states, eh?”

    Tremblay cut his trip short and returned home. “I prefer to live where my pronoun is respected. And where there are majestic yaks. And hockey.”

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

      Isn’t that the round-house-kick guy?

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:58 am

        Nevermind; a quick search reveals that dudes name is Jordan Hunt.

  10. Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 11:48 am

    I’ll forget where I was the day Reefer Negro was assassinated.

    • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 11:48 am

      NEVER FORGET!

      • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 12:11 pm

        That was one of my favorite memories of SNL, back when it was a comedy show.

        • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:14 pm

          When Cecily Strong sang “To Sir With Love” in honor of President Obama I laughed my balls off.

          • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:21 pm

            But not when Kate McKinnon sang “Hallelujah”?

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:24 pm

            Too dykey.

          • Raston Bot on September 19, 2019 at 12:58 pm

            get me Barfman, STAT!

  11. Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 11:49 am

    until they explained they didn’t actualy live there

    Lols.

    And is anyone else struck that the gang photo is being reproduced in higher quality than it was when it was first taken?

    • Rhywun on September 19, 2019 at 12:28 pm

      I did notice that.

  12. Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 11:51 am

    Shane Gillis Mocks SNL Uproar in First Stand-Up Set Since His Firing

    Variety reports that the audience at the Stand comedy club in Manhattan greeted Gillis with applause, and that a couple people in the back of the crowd cheered his name intermittently throughout the set. “Everybody’s been like, you can’t say shit and not expect consequences,” Gillis reportedly said on stage. “I’m fine with the consequences. I’m not arguing. Fuck it. But I do want everyone to know that I’ve been reading every one of my death threats in an Asian accent.”

    Sending reporters to comedy shows…my God.

    • Florida Man on September 19, 2019 at 12:01 pm

      He was supposed to bring conservative viewers to SNL? How was changing one cog in a machine going to make a difference?

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:04 pm

        Lol, sort of like how Jennifer Rubin brings conservative readers to the Washington Post.

        • wdalasio on September 19, 2019 at 12:08 pm

          Except, for all I know, Gillis might actually be conservative.

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:10 pm

            Fair point. I do enjoy how media outlets will have one nominal, token conservative on staff and imply

            “See, we show both sides!”

          • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:12 pm

            Look, why don’t you want SE Cupp to have a career?

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:14 pm

            If she wasn’t a news media personality I’m pretty sure she could make a living doing other things….

          • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 12:17 pm

            I used to like her but the last time I saw she was suffering from severe TDS.

          • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:18 pm

            to Rebel Scum: And doing a 180 on her position on gun control.

          • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:20 pm

            I always thought she was “fluffy”, but she was basically Ok and that was good enough for a really pretty woman.

            Nowadays, she’s an attractive, redheaded, female version of Bill Kristol. The last I saw of her, she was jumping on board the “common-sense gun safety!” train.

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:23 pm

            Andy Levy, formerly someone I had respect for, had a Tweet or two against Gillis for using slurs. I know it is easy to get caught up in the p.c./be polite mindset, but also you don’t have to like what he said, or think what he said is funny, to understand by agreeing with his firing you are essentially approving of Twitter bitching firing culture.

          • Fatty Bolger on September 19, 2019 at 12:40 pm

            Andy Levy is 53. If he never used the word “retard” or made fun of Asian accents, I’ll eat my hat.

          • Ed Wuncler on September 19, 2019 at 12:15 pm

            I had an acquaintance pull that shit on me once. I accused him of being a partisan hack and he posted some article with a bunch of so called Conservatives ripping on the Republicans. Not saying that the GOP deserves criticism because they do but the article basically confirmed his political views

      • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:08 pm

        I feel like that is something they are saying after they fact – he is just a big, goofy white guy. He mocks his appearance to get laughs, references Trump and MAGA stuff, but it’s to be funny. I would be shocked if he was actually pro-Trump, but now he is considered to be.

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:43 pm

          Well he did say Trump would be the funniest president to see get shot so yeah, definitely brought on for conservatives. *Rolls eyes*

      • kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 12:13 pm

        I am not going to link to Salon, but this is one of the articles available today:

        Even without Shane Gillis, “SNL” has always been a conservative show MARY ELIZABETH WILLIAMS

        This is fucking insane.

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:17 pm

          It’s gotten to the point where it isn’t even hyperbole to say that the progressive media is insisting “the chocolate rations increase from 300 mgs to 200 mgs.”

        • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:19 pm

          Jesus. Just because you say something in an article doesn’t make it true.

        • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 12:19 pm

          Do they starve the unwoke? Do they allow filthy degenerate white people to live? NO! They are conservanazis!

    • wdalasio on September 19, 2019 at 12:07 pm

      If he’s even moderately successful with it, does anyone want to bet how long it will take the pussies at SNL to threaten legal action?

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:08 pm

      “I’m not arguing. Fuck it. But I do want everyone to know that I’ve been reading every one of my death threats in an Asian accent.”

      This guys jib. I like the cut thereof.

    • Ed Wuncler on September 19, 2019 at 12:20 pm

      My wife and I were watching an SNL skit where Chris Farley’s character traveled to Japan with his wife and Farley’s character somehow ended up on a Japanese game show. Mike Meyers, Alec Baldwin, and Jeanine Garaffalo (sp) did stereotypical Japanese accents and the skit basically mocked how absolutely insane Japanese game shows are sometimes.

      My wife and I immediately said that there’s no way this could have been made today.

      • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:26 pm

        It definitely could not have been made now. Also, why is Alec Baldwin still a darling of the left with these videos available online? This Gillis guy gets fired, but Baldwin did the same things and he was literally just on SNL playing Trump a few months ago.

        It’s almost like there’s some kind of double standard or something….

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:28 pm

          Didn’t Baldwin have several public tirades where he used anti-gay slurs? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

          • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:32 pm

            Yeah, he got fired for that I think. But it’s totes cool now cuz he says mean things about bad orange man

        • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          playing Trump

          If you can call it that. I found his parody of Trump to be wanting. Crowder’s is better.

          • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

            Agreed. And Crowder’s Bernie impressions are hysterical too. Even if he does sound like Gilbert Gottfried

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:50 pm

        https://youtu.be/twv5bk21I9w

        • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

          Bon Jovi’s appearance on Super Jockey has been memory holed, so instead here’s OZ Static, and Aussie band that relocated to the US

          https://youtu.be/7iCWYygTfCo

    • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      Eventually they’re gonna box out all the half-decent comics. I think it won’t be too long before the backlash against this sort of thing really hits its stride.

      • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

        There will always be a place for “non-woke” comedy. I mean there currently is on Netflix – they are smart enough to have all sorts of comedians on there, and they just recorded another round of their “degenerates” series, the first of which is certainly not woke (especially Joe Diaz and Big Jay).

  13. one true athena on September 19, 2019 at 11:52 am

    lol.

    ah, if only Biden, Sanders, and Warren were all trapped on the memory floor of the nursing home.

    “But I don’t belong here!”

    “That’s what they all say, Mr Sanders. I bet you think you’re running for president like that lady with the head-dress over there.”

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 11:54 am

      “What we need is more equitable pudding distribution!! The one-percent has all the pudding”

      /Bernie Sanders voice

      • Raston Bot on September 19, 2019 at 11:57 am

        /Gilbert Gottfried’s voice

      • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:00 pm

        No one needs twelve different flavors of pudding to choose from!

  14. Tonio on September 19, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Way to knock it out of the park, Pengie!

    “Fat Tony…” Hey, I been dietin’ here.

    Longer response to your email soon. I’m hard at work on a submission.

    • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      “Thank you, Fat Tony, but in the future I’d prefer a nondescript briefcase to the sack with the dollar sign on it.”

  15. mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 11:55 am

    OT, but highly recommended.

    Andrew Pollack & Max Eden – For Meadow – “YOUR WELCOME” Episode #069

    • Stinky Wizzleteats on September 19, 2019 at 12:52 pm

      Thanks, that was really good.

      • Tundra on September 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

        Seconded.

  16. Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

    The war on (unwanted) dick pics has begun

    Earlier this month, after waking up to find an unwelcome dick pic in her Twitter account’s DMs, web developer Kelsey Bressler, 28, co-created an AI filter she claims is capable of preventing over 95% of sexually explicit images from reaching her inbox.

    To test the filter, Bressler solicited pictures of male genitalia en masse, receiving hundreds to the trial account @ShowYoDiq, “for science”.

    Men, you know what to do. That being said, this is not going to end in well.

    • Raston Bot on September 19, 2019 at 11:58 am

      i saw that episode of Silicon Valley. hot dog advertisers hardest hit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder on September 19, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      That’s what you get for having public social media accounts. It’s no different than walking down the street in Philadelphia.

      “Hey slim, you know what I’d do to you?”

    • Swiss Servator on September 19, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      Anthony Weiner and Brett Farve hardest hit?

  17. Raston Bot on September 19, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Canadian looney media have been breaking their pelvises bending over backwards to downplay Trudeau’s three blackface events calling it “face-darkening makeup” in headlines.

    @ezralevant

    “Face-darkening makeup”.

    That’s a three-word grant application for a slice of Trudeau’s $600 million media bail-out, that’s what this is.

    • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      Face darkening makeup is out now? George Hamilton hardest hit.

  18. Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    From my voicemail:

    The situation we have received a legal complaint under your social security number and your driver license number. We have received a legal complaint to block your social security number immediately. So before we go ahead legally blocking your Social Security number. So kindly, press one to connect to our officer or call us back on our number that is XXXX. I repeat is XXXX. Sorry you did not press one yet. Kindly, please, press one to contact our officer. Thank you and have a blessed day.

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      I’m guessing scam call like the one’s claiming you have a computer virus and they’ll clear it right up if you give them your IP address and CC number?

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:18 pm

        Yeah. I’m more intrigued by the script writer that thought including “have a blessed day” added to the pitch.

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:20 pm

          I’ve gotten hit by several scammers who include a lot of pseudo-christian phrases in their communications. I guess they figure dupes will assume they are honest if they feign being Christians.

          • Tundra on September 19, 2019 at 12:41 pm

            I just got a robo call in Chinese. Seems like a low probability play…

          • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:45 pm

            I got one of those recently as well.

    • Swiss Servator on September 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm

      Ha! I got that one on my cell yesterday.

      Robocall. Was yours a live hooman?

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 12:47 pm

        Robo

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          I prefer the human ones. At least with those I can pretend to be interested yet uncomprehending and distracted until they hang up in disgust.

          • AlexinCT on September 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

            ^^ So much this ^^

            If I got time to waste, I am gonna get even with the asshats trying to waste my time.

        • Nephilium on September 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

          Yeah. Looks like another call center got stood up somewhere. I’ve noticed a big upswing in the robocalls recently.

          • AlexinCT on September 19, 2019 at 1:16 pm

            I think the problem was all the people that told you they were named Mike, Bill, or Steve but sounded like Habib, Radji, or Patel. People immediately assumed scam and hung up.

  19. The Late P Brooks on September 19, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    To test the filter, Bressler solicited pictures of male genitalia en masse, receiving hundreds to the trial account @ShowYoDiq, “for science”.

    She solicited hundreds of dick pics, to prove how much she hates dick pics. Okay, then.

    I hate looking at pics of beautiful naked women.

    • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 12:08 pm

      If there’s one thing in this world I cannot abide, it’s seeing two gorgeous 18-22 year old women, preferably one of them a redhead, with their faces buried in each other’s crotches.

      • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 12:15 pm

        I am ok with that, what i hate is when that redhead shows up at my door and blows me.

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

          I’m testing a new lesbian porn filter

    • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:11 pm

      Look how far we’ve come since “Dicks Out For Harambe”

    • The Other Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      The “beautiful naked women” filter is going to be very difficult to perfect, and will likely take many years of testing.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 12:25 pm

        Sounds like a lot of hard work. You’ll need testers. I’ll volunteer.

        • Pope Jimbo on September 19, 2019 at 12:32 pm

          With my Loser Aura, I’m sure my test batch would include the pics of all the “real” girls with big beautiful bodies. In their late 30’s.

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:36 pm

            Hey loser, real girls with natural bodies.

          • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm

            I was already following

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm

            “Hey Cindy, what are you up to tonight?”

            “Oh, you know, just laying on my bed in lacy panties taking casual selfies of myself. Just like all women do.”

          • Tonio on September 19, 2019 at 12:42 pm

            You are very good at that, bro. Hope you’re at work on a proper submission.

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 12:44 pm

            I don’t do anything…..

            (•_•) / ( •_•)>⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■)

            PROPER

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 12:52 pm

            THAT IS WHAT WOMEN DO AT HOME ALONE DON’T YOU RUIN IT FOR US

          • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

            “Oh, you know, just laying on my bed in lacy panties taking casual selfies of myself. Just like all women do.”

            https://www.instagram.com/angelmandii/

            Story checks out.

          • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:02 pm

            Real women hate and castrate men.

            Do you even 4th wave bro?

          • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

            Further: I hope the saps who take all those pics get laid at least some of the time.

  20. Pope Jimbo on September 19, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    Uffda. I think Ilhan Omar may need a course on Minnesoda Nice.

    During the summer, sources within the Minneapolis Somali community informed me that Rep. Ilhan Omar has been using financial leverage to prevent Ahmed Hirsi from filing for divorce.

    Ahmed Hirsi’s employment with Councilwoman Cano was quietly terminated months ago: June 14.

    The June 14 termination of Ahmed Hirsi’s employment is public data. Anyone can verify this information by filing a request with the City of Minneapolis City Clerk.

    My sources stated that Ahmed Hirsi was terminated following a request by Rep. Omar. They added that Omar’s motivation for the request was to force Hirsi to become reliant upon her assets and income.

    Poor guy is married to a crazy person and lost his phoney-baloney job?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      You know alimony can be done to either party nowadays if you get a good attorney. This just made it so much easier for him.

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      So she’s basically holding her husband hostage while she gallivants around Washington with her extramarital lover. Girrrrrrllll Power!

    • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 12:27 pm

      Do we need to add a third dimension to the Hot/Crazy Matrix? Hot/Crazy/Evil?

    • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 12:28 pm

      She really has a talent for finding new and interesting ways to be a total piece of shit

    • tarran on September 19, 2019 at 12:30 pm

      You know, that guy is worth more to her dead than alive…. I’d be shitting bricks if I were in his shoes.

      • Pope Jimbo on September 19, 2019 at 12:33 pm

        The only thing saving his skin right now, is she needs someone to watch their kids. Can’t have the brats hanging around DC keeping her from getting her groove on.

        Now if he sees a pic of her with Hillary…..

    • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:33 pm

      Is Ahmed Muslim? How’s does that work? Is a Muslim cuck the worst cuck?

  21. AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    More Newsish, only more bizarre.

    https://www.newsweek.com/reich-trump-seriously-unstable-getting-worse-1459708

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:42 pm

      I am amazed that Trumputinhitler manages to be utterly stupid, unstably insane and criminally genius all at once. Much like each secular dictator we decide we need to regime change.

      • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:44 pm

        Also, he sites Bill Weld’s twitter account to bolster his argument. L. O. fucking L.

    • Tundra on September 19, 2019 at 12:45 pm

      Jesus, what a loon.

      The president of the United States is seriously, frighteningly, dangerously unstable. And he’s getting worse by the day.

      Such a person in the Oval Office can do serious damage.

      What to do? We can vote him out of office in 14 months’ time. But he could end the world in seven and a half seconds.

      Oh, no! Whatever can we do?!?

      Spoiler alert: He invokes the 25th.

      Again.

      The three year temper tantrum continues.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 12:52 pm

        Sorry I was already killed by ending net neutrality.

      • Fatty Bolger on September 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

        According to Reich and his buddies we’re all gonna die from climate change in 10 years anyway, so might as well get it over with quickly.

      • Ted S. on September 19, 2019 at 2:55 pm

        Spoiler alert: He invokes the 25th.

        None of these hypocritical shits ever suggested removing McCain from the Senate when it was clear he was no longer going to be returning from Arizona.

    • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 12:58 pm

      He retweets a comedian’s sick suggestion that the Clintons were responsible for the suicide of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

      It was joke.

      There’s also the question of whether he’ll willingly leave.

      -____________-

    • Don Escaped Texas on September 19, 2019 at 1:01 pm

      Trump is like Reagan to the extent that he is exactly who his voters voted for

    • tarran on September 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

      Do these imbeciles think that Trump can on his own order a preemptive nuclear strike and the air force or navy will obey?!?

      Either Robert Reich is trying to cynically scare people with threats that he knows are bullshit, or he is one of the dumbest motherfuckers who ever served in the U.S. cabinet.

      My money is on the former. the man’s a commie despite living through the seventies and eighties. It takes a special sort of evil to be that way.

      • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:06 pm

        Hell, Trump could order a nuclear strike with full Congressional approval and some district judge in San Jose would put a TRO on it (not that that would be a bad thing).

      • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:08 pm

        It’s pure propaganda.

  22. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    “To test the filter, Bressler solicited pictures of male genitalia en masse, receiving hundreds to the trial account @ShowYoDiq, “for science”.”

    Q, I think I figured out a way for you to get your girly pics more easily. All you got to do is ask for them and then announce that you’re only doing it for “SCIENCE”.

    • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

      Can I test the effect of my penis in their vagina? For science of course.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 1:08 pm

        So long as you shout “SCIENCE” after anything I think they got to let you get away with it.

        • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

          The Title IX loophole we’ve been looking for.

    • Pope Jimbo on September 19, 2019 at 2:13 pm

      The Aussies are way ahead of us.

      Facebook is asking users to send the company their nude photos in an effort to tackle revenge porn, in an attempt to give some control back to victims of this type of abuse.

      Individuals who have shared intimate, nude or sexual images with partners and are worried that the partner (or ex-partner) might distribute them without their consent can use Messenger to send the images to be “hashed”. This means that the company converts the image into a unique digital fingerprint that can be used to identify and block any attempts to re-upload that same image.

      Facebook is piloting the technology in Australia in partnership with a government agency headed up by the e-safety commissioner, Julia Inman Grant, who told ABC it would allow victims of “image-based abuse” to take action before pictures were posted to Facebook, Instagram or Messenger.

  23. UnCivilServant on September 19, 2019 at 12:48 pm

    A perfect Impersonation of Herself

    • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

      I got banned once for saving a YouTube video to one of my playlist.

      • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 12:59 pm

        ^^^RONGTHINKUR!!!!!!

    • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:01 pm

      That’s funny.

      Also, I’d totally forgotten about her. It’s a shame she’s kind of awful, because she’s cute. It’s sadder when cute girls are terrible SJW social media harridans.

      • UnCivilServant on September 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

        Before she took her break she’s started to re-evaluate her positions and actually talk to people with other views.

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:06 pm

          Yeah, I think she was conversing with Lauren Southern which is not allowed by the tolerent left.

          • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:07 pm

            I would very much like to “converse” with Lauren Southern.

          • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:18 pm

            Indubitably

        • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:09 pm

          Yeah, that rings a bell. Didn’t she start getting attacked via the Tweets for talking to people outside of the SJW sphere? Yeah, wait, wasn’t there some thing where some people were bitching because she started dating a guy, and then she sort of got red-pilled a bit?

          • UnCivilServant on September 19, 2019 at 1:12 pm

            Sounds about right.

  24. AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    Shorter Schumer: We really fucked ourselves now. #jumpedtheshark

    https://hotair.com/archives/allahpundit/2019/09/19/schumer-lies-dont-know-single-democrat-supports-beto-orourke-gun-confiscation/

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      Like I said, I’d like to thank Beto for doing this. Keep pushing confiscation Dems, it’s sure to work out great for ya.

      • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

        They’re no doubt the gun and ammo industries greatest salesmen.

      • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 12:59 pm

        The “nobody wants to confiscate your guns” narrative is drawn and quartered, thanks to Beto. He did the 2A movement a great service.

        • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 1:04 pm

          “No no no, we don’t wan’t to confiscate your guns….we just don’t want you to have them anymore so we’re going to take them away” – 2019 Dems

      • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 1:02 pm

        I don’t know. “Clinging to their guns and Bibles” worked for Obama.

        • Don Escaped Texas on September 19, 2019 at 1:11 pm

          the Senate saved us from Obama

          In construction, principles, and moving parts, the Senate has never been more important; sadly, it is today no excellent fall-back trench to which we might retreat on Trump’s worse days.

    • The Other Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 1:13 pm

      I don’t believe for a second they want to confiscate all the guns. They just want everyone to turn them in voluntarily. And also to go to jail if they don’t. Totally different things.

      • 0x90 on September 19, 2019 at 2:23 pm

        Obligatory…

        ———-

        “Well, I don’t accept your phraseology, I don’t think we force people –”

        “Taxation is not forceful?”

        “Well, no –”

        “It’s voluntary?”

        “– in fact, quite the contrary, our system of government is a voluntary tax system.”

        “If you don’t want to pay your taxes, you don’t have to?”

        “Oh, of course you have to pay your taxes, but –”

        “Or the government will force you to pay, or they’ll fine you, or imprison you.”

        “We have a voluntary system.”

        ———-

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7mRSI8yWwg

    • wdalasio on September 19, 2019 at 1:27 pm

      Donald Trump is truly blessed in his enemies.

      All the Democrats had to do was be sane for four years and pick some inoffensive governor who wouldn’t scare the shit out of much of the country. Donald Trump was never that strong a candidate. And just a little tweaking from Hillary’s campaign strategy (just the stuff her own husband, a guy who got elected president twice, told her to do) would have shifted the electoral map. 2018 was largely a vindication of that strategy. They made inroads in Congress running moderate, inoffensive, candidates. Instead, they’ve sold themselves on an agenda of reparations, socialism, gun confiscation and woke hectoring.

      • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm

        they’ve sold themselves on an agenda of reparations, socialism, gun confiscation and woke hectoring.

        It’s simultaneously hilarious and terrifying.

      • The Other Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 1:32 pm

        Usually in the primaries, the candidates pander to the extremes a bit more and then tack to the center during the general election. Both parties do that. But I can’t imagine the final Dem candidate will be able to walk all this back. Even with the media on their side, all Trump has to do is tweet out one link a day that has a quote from a debate.

        • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 1:36 pm

          Our memory as a society seems short enough that Nov., 2020 might as well be 2100

    • DrOtto on September 19, 2019 at 2:47 pm

      It’s a true statement. He knows multiple democrats who support it, not a single Democrat. That’s how you politic.

  25. The Late P Brooks on September 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    And now, a word from the Democratic Socialists of America

    To be sure, some of the threat to good manufacturing jobs is due to globalization and automation. But a lot of auto manufacturing jobs still exist in the United States. The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that nearly a million people work in the industry. Yet our law permits a race to the bottom among those jobs. Unlike labor law in most industrial democracies, U.S. labor law does not create a system of sectoral bargaining through which fair terms are negotiated and apply to all workers and companies in an industry. Instead, U.S. labor law channels organizing and bargaining to the level of the individual worksite and the individual firm.

    This approach encourages firms to compete by busting unions and lowering wages. So when workers at the non-union auto companies have sought to unionize, they have been met with threats and intimidation. Pro-union workers at Volkswagen, for example, report being put under surveillance and required to attend mandatory anti-union meetings, including one at which the Governor of Tennessee personally urged workers to reject unionization.

    When a group of Volkswagen workers did vote to unionize, the company refused to bargain, stalling in the hopes that, once dominated by Trump appointees, the administrative agency in charge of reviewing the case would switch its position, giving into management demands.

    In short, a worksite-based bargaining system incentivizes employers to resist unionization. Moreover, even if workers succeed in organizing at the firm level despite intense employer resistance, bargaining with a single employer makes little sense in today’s economy. How can workers at the small companies that supply the big automakers with parts get a fair deal if they aren’t negotiating directly with the auto companies? Even unionized workers end up fighting an uphill battle: They have a collective voice in one worksite, or within one firm, but that is just not enough to limit downward pressure on employment, wages and benefits.

    By contrast, in countries where a system of industrial or sectoral bargaining exists, workers and employers throughout the industry get together to agree on a fair deal for all. Under most sectoral bargaining systems, individual groups of workers and individual firms can still negotiate terms above the sectoral minimums and can still agree on more detailed work rules, But everyone has assurance that basic, fair standards will apply to all workers in the industry.

    Bring back the unions. Make America great again.

    • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

      By contrast, in countries where a “system of industrial or sectoral bargaining exists”…..the standard of living is way lower.

    • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:04 pm

      Could easily have been “Now a word from Association of Americans with IQs South of 60”.

    • tarran on September 19, 2019 at 1:05 pm

      I see the Democratic Socialists are huge fans of 1930’s style fascism! Well, at least they’re honest and true to their roots.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      Why does the supposed party of “workers” have nothing but trust fund kids within their ranks?

      Socialists have proven Marx correct, in one way. Marx once said “history repeats itself- first as tragedy and then as farce”. Nothing is more farcical than American socialism degrading itself from Eugene Debs (who went to jail for opposing the draft) to AOC (who went to Congress for opposing basic math).

    • kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      I need more guns

      • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:12 pm

        Who don’t, brutha, who don’t?

        I seriously, seriously thought about the sale 80% Arms did a little while ago for one of their Gen 2 Easy Jigs and something like 3 lowers and 3 lower parts kits. You’d still have to buy the uppers, but it was a pretty good deal. Problem was I’d be spending a bunch of money I can’t afford in order to commit to having to spend even more money and then wind up with three rifles my wife would yell at me about.

        Still, though…

        • UnCivilServant on September 19, 2019 at 1:13 pm

          You could just sell on two of the unused kits.

          • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:20 pm

            Yeah, but then I’m out the money until I’ve got a buyer, and I likely won’t be able to recoup because I’ll be an obviously motivated seller. I’ve considered going in on the jig with a friend, but all the people I know who might be interested already have all the AR platform guns they want. I’ll probably just wind up buying the jig on its own next time it’s on sale.

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

            Glib gun buying club?

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

            That is called Tulpa goes to the gunstore.

        • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:16 pm

          Get a new wife. Or better yet, don’t have a wife.

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:17 pm

          You missed the daily deal

          https://palmettostatearmory.com/psa-no-beto-ar-15-stripped-lower-receiver-preorder-item-8-9-weeks-delivery.html

          • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:26 pm

            And the Beto Special in AZ

            https://www.foxnews.com/media/arizona-gun-store-beto-special-sells-out

          • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:45 pm

            I wonder how many lowers got mailed to Beto after that little speech of his.

      • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

        Two words: FN PS90.

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 1:28 pm

          I like the design but I don’t want to have to buy 5.7 ammo.

          • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:48 pm

            Does anything else shoot that besides the PS90 and the Five-Seven? I like to collect calibers, but that seems niche even for me. And living in MD I could only buy the pistol anyway.

          • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 1:51 pm

            https://masterpiecearms.com/shop/mpa57sst-5-7x28mm-pistol/

            And AR uppers.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 1:56 pm

            I suppose I should refresh….

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 1:55 pm

            There is an upper called the AR57. I’d link it but I am at work.

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

            If you like to collect calibers, maybe something in 6.8mm SIG hybrid?

            https://www.sigsauer.com/press-releases/sig-sauer-selected-by-u-s-army-for-next-generation-weapons-with-new-ammunition-technology-lightweight-machine-gun-rifle-and-suppressors/

      • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 1:19 pm

        #metoo

      • kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 1:23 pm

        The new safe will hold 6 to 8 long guns. So my wife is sort of pre-advised on where things are headed.

        • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:41 pm

          I need to do my two-stage scam on mine. I open with, “I’m getting a new safe that’s a little nicer looking, a little more secure, that kind of thing.” Naturally it’s bigger, too. Then, I do the, “What? Oh, no, I’ve had that gun for a while now,” bit when that safe gets full, possibly doing the “No, those were all stuffed together in the old safe,” as needed. It helps when she’s a willing participant in her own deception.

      • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 1:37 pm

        “Military style” assault weapon of war 12ga for $400?

        https://palmettostatearmory.com/jts-ak-12-ga-18-semi-auto-shotgun-black-m12ak.html

    • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 1:09 pm

      All you have to do is clap at the DSA and they will crumble.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen on September 19, 2019 at 1:11 pm

        +1 point of privilege

    • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 1:19 pm

      If only there was a way by which each individual worker could negotiate their pay and benefits directly with their employer, based on their individual skills and abilities…..

      Oh wait, that’s exactly how it works

    • R C Dean on September 19, 2019 at 1:47 pm

      To be sure,

      And . . . I’m out.

    • whiz on September 19, 2019 at 2:09 pm

      …U.S. labor law does not create a system of sectoral bargaining through which fair terms are negotiated and apply to all workers and companies in an industry.

      Thank goodness it doesn’t. And wouldn’t such a system be a monopoly on the labor side? IANAL — do monopoly statutes apply on the labor side as well?

    • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      When a group of Volkswagen workers did vote to unionize

      When was this? The union has lost every vote at VW Chattanooga.

  26. BakedPenguin on September 19, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Thanks everyone.

    And Tonio, that wasn’t a shout out/shout back. I was going to riff on what you did, but I had to junk a couple bits (one of which was complete) and was really running up against the clock. I just wanted to get as many ‘gangster’ names out there as I could from a bunch of varied places. Fat Tony seemed to fit Spanky.

  27. Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    The Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations of the Committee on Energy and Commerce will hold a hearing on Thursday entitled “Protecting Unaccompanied Children: The Ongoing Impact of the Trump Administration’s Cruel Policies.”

    If you think the immigration code is cruel you should propose legislation to amend it.

    • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 1:43 pm

      “Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations of the Committee on Energy and Commerce”

      Ok, now they’re just fucking with us.

    • libertarianjoe on September 19, 2019 at 1:58 pm

      I think they mean the Obama administration’s cruel policies

  28. Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    Dennis Rodman: Trump Can Make A Deal With Kim Jong Un

    “I think he can [make a deal],” Rodman said, as reported by Fox News. “I think the fact that people better watch out for this: Kim Jong Un will be in America in 18 to 24 months. I guarantee it.”

    When co-host Brian Kilmeade asked if this visit from Kim Jong Un would be an actual state visit, Rodman replied, “He’s coming to do one thing, to visit America.”

    Rodman, who has visited North Korea on several occasions and even refers to Kim Jong Un as his “friend,” has been an outspoken supporter of Trump’s North Korea policy. In June of 2018, as the president and the dictator were gearing up for the first peace summit, the former Chicago Bulls champion even appeared on CNN wearing a MAGA hat and broke down into tears.

  29. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    BREAKING: Gunmaker Colt says it is suspending its production of rifles for the civilian market including the popular AR-15.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 1:56 pm

      Much like “free speech”, the 2nd Amendment will just be pressured out of existence. But, don’t you dare attack a private company for caving to government run institutions pressuring them. When a private company takes a woke action the proper response is “muh…selective freedom of association”. You reserve your righteous indignation and political attacks for those hate cake bakers.

    • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 1:57 pm

      Didn’t they do this a while ago? Good thing they’ve got those sweet government contracts that make sure they sell all their products at an artificial premium while simultaneously ensuring America’s soldiers carry an infantry rifle that should have been obsolete 30 years ago.

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 1:58 pm

        They split the company in two for a while I think.

    • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 1:57 pm

      I read that they are temporarily suspending production. Not a long term thing.

      • Don Escaped Texas on September 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

        “It’s not forever,” Spitale said. “It’s to say that, at this moment, we’re listening to consumers and putting our resources where they’re most valued.”

        • R C Dean on September 19, 2019 at 2:25 pm

          “It’s to say that, at this moment, we’re listening to consumers

          Whose consumers are they listening to? Not consumers of their products, who are emptying stores of AR-15s at a rapid clip.

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:28 pm

            But not $1000+ AR-15s.

          • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 2:30 pm

            Yeah, last I heard about Colt ARs is that they’re expensive as hell and not that great.

    • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 1:58 pm

      Got a link there, cowboy?

      • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

        https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/colt-halts-sales-of-long-guns-to-the-retail-market/

      • kinnath on September 19, 2019 at 2:00 pm

        Google new had many links, but I’m not chasing any of them at work.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:01 pm

        First of all, I identify as “cowboy curious”. Don’t assume my Wild West persona, bigot.

        Secondly, yes, I do have a link.

        https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/colt-suspends-production-ar-15-civilian-market-65725178

        • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:02 pm

          FTA:

          “Colt’s chief executive officer, Dennis Veilleux, says it is not permanently ending production but believes there is already an adequate supply of sporting rifles on the market. He said in a statement Thursday the company will concentrate on fulfilling military and law enforcement contracts with its rifle manufacturing.”

          Translation: “We’ve realized that it will be more profitable to arm the gun grabbers rather than the law abiding citizen.”

        • AlmightyJB on September 19, 2019 at 2:13 pm

          Cause no one’s buying them

          https://youtu.be/MwJKS4OsBGc

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:15 pm

            ” I am a grown ass man!”

            Hell, I thought this guy was dead.

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:15 pm

            I don’t know why, but I believe this guy

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:28 pm

            Don’t. He’s a tard. But he does do a lot of cosmetic gunsmithing, so you can trust him on that.

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:33 pm

            Are you telling me that I shouldn’t take at face value the remarks of a guy who runs a YouTube show from his heavily armed garage?

            Well now I don’t know who to believe

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:34 pm

            Seconded. He’s mostly good for a laugh at his expense.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:35 pm

            Well now I don’t know who to believe

            Yeager. Believe Yeager….

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 3:07 pm

            Paul Harrell.

      • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:02 pm

        Got it on my phone. Its cool. People in the know, know there are better ARs out there than Colt.

        • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:03 pm

          Whatever you say, chief

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:07 pm

            Well…technically I would be hanging out with the “Northern Mexicans” in prison not the Chiefs.

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

            Mexicans were the original cowboys (except with bigger hats and more guns).

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:14 pm

            You guys were so bad ass that American settlers copied you and then pretended like they didn’t and then cast you as Indians in American westerns. The circle of life.

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:13 pm

            We need a term for that Gringicano? Chico del Norte? or maybe American?

        • Naptown Bill on September 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

          I’d kinda forgotten they were still making ARs.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:14 pm

            Well…when Wally World stopped selling them, they kind of fell out of fashion.

        • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 2:13 pm

          They say it’s temporary. I assume it has more to do with their lack of sales than anything.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:17 pm

            See! Even Crusty gets it. Build your own AR, people!

          • Crusty Juggler on September 19, 2019 at 2:30 pm

            EVEN! What am I, yesterday’s tomatoes?

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:20 pm

            “Your righteous indignation is misplaced because this story is not entirely true”

            That’s what you sound like right now. Do better

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

            Isn’t that kind of a valid criticism of righteous indignation?

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm

            Another guy trying to use logic and common sense.

          • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm

            The correct response should be “I’m buying an AR 15 right now to own Colt”.

            Do better

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:28 pm

            What if you don’t think ARs are all that cool or interesting? What if you think they are still Mattel guns, that have only become beloved of the gun community because the grabbers have an irrational fear of ‘scary black rifle’ and keep trying to ban them?

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:33 pm

            Then you obviously didn’t play with legos or erector sets, and might not actually be a man.

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:34 pm

            Because only ARs can be customized or build from parts?

          • Don Escaped Texas on September 19, 2019 at 2:36 pm

            What if you don’t think ARs are all that cool or interesting?

            * raises hand *

            But, like my Glock EDC: while not A+ on every point, they work, the price is right, the ammo is pretty well thought through. I’m with Suthen, more an M14 guy, but I’m not going to say that the AR platform isn’t pretty useful and handy.

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 3:12 pm

            Because only ARs can be customized or build from parts?

            And legos weren’t the only building block game in town either. But there’s a reason nobody talks about Tente anymore.

          • R C Dean on September 19, 2019 at 3:23 pm

            I’m with Suthen, more an M14 guy,

            Same here. I’m not humping it for miles on a deep raid where I need a couple hundred rounds of ammo. At my age, its for static defense. I’ll take the additional ballistic impact of the .308, thank you very much, and the additional range.

          • R C Dean on September 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

            their lack of sales

            And here I thought there was a run on AR-15s.

    • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 2:04 pm

      Glad I got a PSA AR. Which has subsequently been lost in a tragic boating accident, of course. . .

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:05 pm

        That’s the fourth boating accident I’ve heard about in the past week. We need common sense boat control

        • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:07 pm

          Termites ate all my guns.

        • Bob Boberson on September 19, 2019 at 2:08 pm

          Dem Candidates: “To be clear, we aren’t talking about confiscating your boats”

          Beta: “I’ll confiscate your boats; well speedboats and jet skis anyway”

          Schumer: “God damn it, Beto.”

          • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 2:11 pm

            “No one needs to go over 30 mph to have fun on the water.”

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

            Beta: “I’ll confiscate your boats; well speedboats and jet skis anyway”

            See? they’ll let me keep my schooner!

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:23 pm

            Your schooner is dinghy.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:30 pm

            My schooner is majestic.

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:33 pm

            Just galleons of junk.

          • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:36 pm

            You better stop before you start singing me the score of HMS Pinnafore.

          • Rebel Scum on September 19, 2019 at 2:26 pm

            And what of my frigate?

          • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:29 pm

            It is a dog, watch all it does is barque.

    • Q Continuum on September 19, 2019 at 2:11 pm

      Cocksuckers used to make good guns. They got outcompeted anyway.

      • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:20 pm

        A guy at the last shooting match was using a Colt Python. Gorgeous gun, but the guy’s times were crap.

        • mexican sharpshooter on September 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

          Was he as old as the revolver?

          • Not Adahn on September 19, 2019 at 2:29 pm

            Yup. He probably bought it during the original production run.

      • Sean on September 19, 2019 at 2:34 pm

        Neither I or my gf own any Colt product.

        *shrug*

        • Jarflax on September 19, 2019 at 2:35 pm

          Not even Malt Liquor? Cause Billy Dee convinced me that you need the .45 to get a girl.

          • Gustave Lytton on September 19, 2019 at 3:01 pm

            Works every time.

    • Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm

      Colt has been the “woke” gunmaker for a while now

    • Raston Bot on September 19, 2019 at 2:56 pm

      well that leaves about 50+ other companies still standing.

  30. The Late P Brooks on September 19, 2019 at 2:25 pm

    BREAKING: Gunmaker Colt says it is suspending its production of rifles for the civilian market including the popular AR-15.

    Is Colt even still in business?They have been circling the drain for quite a while.

    I wouldn’t bother to act surprised if you told me they were putting “Colt” on guns made in Pakistani back yards.

  31. Chipwooder on September 19, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Hey, it’s been a while since Karla Marx said anything particularly stup-

    Matt Fuller
    ✔
    @MEPFuller
    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on the Kennedy-Markey primary, just now:

    “Sen. Markey is the generational change we’ve been waiting for.”

    146
    2:31 PM – Sep 19, 2019

    Oh, never mind.

    Gerald Ford was still in the White House when Ed Markey was first elected to Congress.

    • wdalasio on September 19, 2019 at 3:05 pm

      This just seems evergreen.

  32. Suthenboy on September 19, 2019 at 2:40 pm

    I love random drunken asshole. The tinfoil under his hat is perfect.

  33. Stinky Wizzleteats on September 19, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    Anybody want to buy a Colt AR? I have an unshot one under my bed and I promise to gouge you only a little.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:47 pm

      “Fuck yeah. We got them now.”

      – ATF agent monitoring message board

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist" on September 19, 2019 at 2:48 pm

        For the record, you may not bunk with me in the gulag

      • Stinky Wizzleteats on September 19, 2019 at 2:49 pm

        Yeah, just to be clear that was a joke.

        • 0x90 on September 19, 2019 at 2:52 pm

          wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more

  34. DEG on September 19, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    This is another good entry!

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