Actual conversation with Mom, whom we have to nag to take a shower and get dressed every day.

Me: You have to take a shower and get dressed now.

Mom: OK, but I want another cup of coffee first.

Me: You’re already had two, you’re just stalling. GET IN THE SHOWER.

Mom: But I’m tired and need another cup of coffee.

Me: GET IN THE SHOWER AND GET DRESSED OR NO COFFEE.

Mom: (glares) You know who else made Jews get in the shower…?

Birthdays today start with our spiritual and philosophical father; a guy who founded the single most useless area of “science”; a guy who almost single-handedly destroyed biology in Russia; a truly great American filmmaker; maybe the most versatile physicist ever; one of the worst guitarists in the history of American rock; and conversely, one of the greatest bassists and songwriters in the history of American rock.

News to follow:

 

If you say so, Nancy. You’ve already given up.

 

Baltimore imitates London.

 

I’m sure this isn’t yet another hoax.

 

The question not asked: why not just GET RID OF THE WHOLE FUCKING THING???

 

OUTRAGEOUS. Oh wait, too local.

 

Global warming. FdA, Brooks, mikey, and Riven hardest hit.

 

Too soon?

 

Hand. Feed. Bite. Stupid.

 

I’ve had this amazing piece of lyric poetry earworming me all week. Maybe I can return the favor to you.