SEA SMITH PLAY ROUGH…

HI FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS! SEA SMITH GLAD TO SEE YOU (AND HE HAVE SWORDFISH IN POCKET, HAHA!). IT FRIDAY, SO SEA SMITH KNOW LAND HOOMANS WANT RELAX. SEA SMITH RELAX TOO. HIM HAVE A LITTLE FUN, MAKE SHIP GO ALL OVER PLACE. BUT HIM NO DO THIS! THAT PROBABLY FRIEND NINGEN. HE LIKE EAT SCRAP. MMMM…GET IRON!

BUT YOU HERE FOR FUN, NO STORYS. SO SEA SMITH GIVE FUN…ADVICE ON MANNERS! SEA SMITH HAVE GOOD MANNERS. HE ALWAYS SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU WHEN RAPE SHIP. AND CREW. AND NEARBY FISHES. AND CORAL REEFSES.

SO HERE ADVICE ON MANNERS. FROM SEA SMITH.

Q: I am a female graduate student at a theological school, where my daily life involves much reading, studying and writing. I use the library every day.

What is one to do when there are others using the library who obviously have a cold or sinus issues, but who seem completely oblivious of the disturbance — not to mention disgust — caused by their constant snorting and snuffling? And why does it seem that primarily men are guilty of this? As I write, there are two men snorting and hawking loudly — one man in his late 20s and another in his late 50s. Didn’t their mothers teach them to go to the bathroom and blow their noses?

Would it be rude to bring to their attention their disturbance of other library patrons? Or to offer them — politely — some tissue?

A: WHYCOME YOU TELL US YOU FEMALE GRADUATE STUDENT? WHO CARE? WHY HAVE ANYTHING DO WITH RUNNY NOSE RUDE HOOMANS? FOR THEM, JUST GO OVER AND LAUGH IN THEM FACES AND SAY “YOU DIE OF PLAGUE, HA HA!” THEN TAUNT WITH TISSUE. IF THAT NO WORK, CALL SEA SMITH TO COME RAPE THEY NOSES.

 

Q: A few years ago, I had medical treatments that caused the loss of my hair. My hair has grown back, but the hair above my forehead is now short and wispy.

I recently went to a hair salon for a trim. The hairdresser pulled the short strands of hair, started laughing, and said, “What’s this?” I didn’t think she would ever stop laughing. I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say.

I don’t think this will happen again, but if it does, what should I say? I don’t want to mention my health problems.

A: THIS ONE IS PAYBACK SAME WAY. STAND IN DOOR OF SALON START YELL “LOOK WHAT BAD HAIR CUTTER DO! NO COME HERE, IT BAD!” ALL WHILE POINT AT HEAD. THEY BUSINESS GO DOWN. IF THAT NO WORK, CALL SEA SMITH. HE COME AND RAPE HAIR, CHAIRS AND HAIR CUT TOOLS.

 

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!