“Mr. President! Mr. President!” the reporter called.
“You’ll have to speak up!” Donald replied.
“MR. PRESIDENT!” the reporter screamed.
“I can’t hear you!” Donald said, smiling, having heard the stick-thin Buzzfeed reporter just fine.
“MR. PRESIDENT! WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THANKSGIVING?!?”
“I love the troops. I just love them,” Donald replied. “Tremendous people. Just great. Salt of the Earth.”
“THANKSGIVING!” the Buzzfeed reporter yelled. Four other reporters joined him, their tiny lungs and vocal cords straining.
“Oh, Thanksgiving? Great holiday, just great. Christians love it. L-O-V-E IT!” Donald replied. “I pardoned the turkeys yesterday. They are resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.”
“WE’RE THE TURKEYS INJURED DURING THE PARDONING CEREMONY?!?” ten of them asked, holding out their iPhones to record the President’s reply.
“I love turkey! You can’t overcook it enough me for. Gravy and rolls. Just a great holiday. Invented by Indians, I think.”
The Buzzfeed reporter fell on the ground and began to convulse.
“WHAT ABOUT THE IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS, MR. PRESIDENT?!?”
“I don’t like Indian food. Gives me gas. ‘The curry slurry shits’ I call ‘em,” Donald smiled and starting waving to the Secret Service.
“IMPEACHMENT!” they all yelled.
“Fake hoax nonsense scam. Have you seen Adam Schiff? Have you seen this guy? Have you seen him? Total disgrace. Worst-looking guy ever,” Donald said. “No one who looks like that can judge me. Imma perfect genius. He looks like his own asshole!”
“MR. PRESIDENT! MR. PRESIDENT!” started another reporter, a tiny woman who jumped up a down and waved her arms.
“You, the spinner in the back,” Donald said, pointing.
“You accuse Hunter Biden of…” she started.
“Hunter Biden is a cocaine junkie. He’s disgusting. He’s worse than his Dad’s fake teeth!”
“On October 27th, you tweeted…” she said.
“Tweeted? Who can even remember what I tweeted? I had lunch with a hero dog the other day; why not write about that? Huh? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?”
“THE DOG CONAN IS FEMALE, MR. PRESIDENT!”
“DON’T DEADNAME MY DOG!” Donald screamed back.
“MR…”
“Dogs and turkeys!” Donald yelled as he turned to walk back into the White House. “Thanksgiving! Stuffing!” he yelled over his shoulder. “Big Mac casserole!”
Big Mac Casserole
12 Big Macs, at least one day old
2 sticks melted butter
1 can of condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 cup diced celery
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
2 cups chicken stock
20 Chicken McNuggets
Roughly chop stale Big Macs. Mix in large bowl with all remaining ingredients except McNuggets. Pack loosely into deep baking dish and stud top with McNuggets, pushing them in until mostly submerged.
Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until top is golden and crunchy and the lettuce collapses.
I don’t know what’s real anymore…
You answered the question I had after reading.
No lettuce, that’s gross.
Lettuce is on the Big Macs. Don’t you know the song?
https://youtu.be/yEBCV0ic6Tc
Needs more ranch.
?
Leave out the celery, and you have a deal!
The celery gives it a crunchy texture that pairs well with the stale bread.
Are you saying it’s not to be celery-abrated?
This sounds like it could mimic Curry Slurry.
“DON’T DEADNAME MY DOG!” Donald screamed back.
R O F L
“You, the spinner in the back,” Donald said, pointing.
*wink*
Yup that was my favorite, and there were a lot to pick from.
I want the series printed in a glossy booklet, in several volumes if it survives long enough, with illustrations.
Bound in orphan flesh.
It’s like the Bee, it’s so close to reality it’s hard to tell. I can hear him saying all of these things. The reporters are difficult to parody.
SugarFree is managing to stay a step ahead of reality. But only just.
Speaking of:
The Bee. Gives. Zero. Fucks.
I started out with: “Hunter Biden is a cocaine junkie. He’s disgusting. He’s worse than his Dad’s fake teeth!” as best…then, “DON’T DEADNAME MY DOG!” Donald screamed back, jumped out and won.
I thought this was going to be the winner today “He looks like his own asshole!”
Then I got to the end.
“DON’T DEADNAME MY DOG!” will be one of the all-time best.
#SchiffSexTape
Dude.
Rhy is already looking green. Don’t push him.
Welp, there goes lunch off the to-do list.
*gouges imaginary eyes out*
That is probably a one-man show.
One man, one goat, one frightened migrant child in a cage.
Both of the other members of Schiff’s throuple are arrested for domestic violence? They got in a giant fight over who’s turn it was to touch Schiff naked.
Since the new thread is up, some carry over thoughts from the last thread.
It’s amazing that Brit millennials would bitch about Brit boomers. Talk about a generation that go fucked over. They grew up on rationing that lasted long after the fighting stopped. They came of age just as the British economy tanked into the basket case of Europe and the left’s glorious plans ended in labor strife and piles of garbage. Yeah, they just had it handed to them.
And as for the owning second homes. How many Brits actually own their own home and land vs lease holding of 99-999 years of the same?
I thought it was illegal to own your own home in the UK.
I can’t believe the H&H is stepping into the Indian food shithole. Brave.
Context https://m.timesofindia.com/world/us/food-fight-on-social-media-after-us-writer-says-indian-cuisine-is-terrible/articleshow/72229892.cms
Anything including the word “cuisine” is terrible.
Lean Cuisine?
Kid Cuisine?
Stouffer’s Mac & Cheese #FTW!
Oh, he’s mentally retarded. Of course he would choke if he ate chunks of chicken tikka unsupervised.
More
I’m sure he sees himself as a Top.Man.
LOL Wut?
It’s academics fault for allowing the common people into the temples of the high priests and allowing them to see the rituals themselves.
So, he blames my Chaturbate account?
No one forced you to become a CamDon.
Then he should blame himself since he used to be a college professor.
Maybe people mistrust experts in one field that think that makes them experts in all fields, like an academic specializing in Russia and nuclear weapons policy weighing in on Indian food.
What gets me is how he started with “Indian food is terrible, and we all pretend we like it” and when challenged, shifted the goal posts to “I, personally don’t like Indian food.” with a ‘harrumph’ and finger-wagging about social media outrage mobs.
Nigga, you the one who made a claim with a universal quantifier concerning an existential particular.
Maybe it sounds better in Russian?
Also, Indian food is delicious.
I’d love to weigh in on the Indian food discussion… but the consultants don’t cook, and they’re the only Indians I know.
“There is no ‘Indian’ food, boomer”
Indian food may have more cultural appropriation then most American food. And it’s delicious.
UCS: Ask the consultants where the good places are.
After the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court of the United States, Nichols announced on October 7, 2018 that he would leave the Republican Party and become an independent, claiming that Senator Susan Collins’ yes-vote on the confirmation convinced him that the Republican Party only exists for the exercise of raw political power. He also criticized the Democratic Party for being “torn between totalitarian instincts on one side and complete political malpractice on the other” and said that the party’s behavior during the Kavanaugh hearings, with the exception of Senators Chris Coons, Sheldon Whitehouse and Amy Klobuchar was execrable, but the Republicans have become a threat to the rule of law and constitutional norms.
Apparently, he would be what the Washington Post considers a “Libertarian”.
A Phd is someone who is an extreme expert in one area, and thinks he’s an expert on all areas.
You mean a ‘public intellectual’.
As opposed to me, a ‘pubic intellectual’.
#NotAllPhDs
HM playing the field
A PhD means you completed a doctoral program. It doesn’t demonstrate anything beyond that. There are PhDs who are among the most brilliant people ever to live, and PhDs who have never had an original thought in their lives.
meant as a reply to Bobarian not HM.
How many of the PhDs who insist on being called Doctor like it’s a title of Nobility belong to the second group?
You think the second group is German?
I hadn’t even thought of the Germans. I know American PhDs who do that.
I was just making a joke about the Herr Doktor Professor thing. I actually have a friend who tries to get people to call him doctor because he has a JD. He gets really mad when I point out that the JD is the same degree as the old Bachelor of Law and Laws. He incidentally has never passed the bar…
God help anyone using ServiceNow. What a steaming pile of shit.
It’s true.
Also fuck all web designers who think building a page dynamically as you scroll down is the right way because it looks cooler.
And if your going to use a tool make sure it’s compatible with whatever corporate software standard you foist on your users.
Fuck everyone who thinks a web interface is a better option then an actual application.
Oh yes, I love having additional layers of bloat and abstraction that reduce the number of available options and add more points of failure.
While removing standard keyboard shortcuts and changing the function of others (backspace loading the previous page has caused me issues so… many… times…).
Lets see…
*checks tickets*
Yep.
+upvote this please
My company loves to use SN for various things, but then – in a fit of corporate genius – decided that SN seats are expensive, so you are granted a license only for a short time period of when you actually need it. So sometimes you will be granted access because someone assigned a ticket to you and as soon as you close it your seat license is revoked. doG help the poor sap who had a followup question because you will never see it.
Wait… how much is my access costing the taxpayers?
Probably not all that much. My company gets up everyday wondering how they can put the Fool into “Penny wise, Pound foolish”
It is one of the strange things about where I work. We spend money like crazy on some tools and turn into crazy misers on others. And adoption/rejection of a tool is in no way linked to how much we use it or how critical it is to what we do.
As far as I can tell as an effective end user, ServiceNow is built on making ITIL come to life rather than leaving it as an academic model like the OSI stack.
The fact that it takes a minute to load a ticket, often times pretending to low a ticket, but not allowing you to scroll to the relevent section or inteact with the portion displayed then randomly reloading, and we allowed some… manager to make a physical location a required field when requesting a CNAME update… seriously why did we allow state managers to make decisions about functionality at all?
You forgot to mention that it doesn’t even have a consistent user interface between browsers (at least in my company’s implementation, the filter interface is different between Chrome and IE)… you know the one thing that browser based applications are supposed to do.
They tell me that it will be much better when they migrate to the cloud version hosted at the vendor’s DC’s.. Oh and we log our your session and require revalidation every 15 mins.
“You, the spinner in the back,” Donald said, pointing.
*outright, prolonged laughter*
OT
just got back from UPS. overheard two guys behind the counter talking “something something something muskets something something something”.
me: “uh, did he just say muskets?”
UPS guy: “yep! some guy bought them at an auction and is having us ship them. want to see them?”
me: “YEAH”
so i got to handle a musket. heavy. really bad state. obviously not operational. but still it looked like a legit American Revolution era weapon. totally made my day. tried to read the markings on the receiver. “NIPPE..” or something like that. haven’t been able to find anything on google about that.
i’m glad the owner didn’t walk back into the store at that point. he probably would not have been pleased.
It’s a nipple musket!
Talk about a generation that go fucked over. They grew up on rationing that lasted long after the fighting stopped. They came of age just as the British economy tanked into the basket case of Europe and the left’s glorious plans ended in labor strife and piles of garbage. Yeah, they just had it handed to them.
If you watch old English movies from the early to mid ’60s, you can see places in London which were bombed in WW2 and had still not been cleared and reclaimed. The lap of luxury, indeed.
https://youtu.be/WfM4vnwtebo
And this isn’t even the Winter of Discontent.
Looks like the last NYC garbage strike. Except instead of wooden crates it was leaking bags of rotting food.
When I was a kid we didn’t have garbage pick-up around here, people had to take their own trash to the dump, but now a days a civilian can’t be trusted with such an arduous task, we need experts damnit.
I remember downtown St Louis in ’83 that looked like the wrong side of the wall in Berlin circa ’65, and vast stretches of the Bronx in ’85 where it was like Dresden in ’45.
Queue up the images of Detroit/Hiroshima 1945 vs 2005 and guess which one was nuked.
i’m glad the owner didn’t walk back into the store at that point. he probably would not have been pleased.
Or he might have been proud as a peacock, and happy to show them off.
true. it’s not like they were mint condition.
IFC is doing a Monty Python marathon. I haven’t watched any actual episodes in decades (back when they were on PBS). Holy crap they were irreverent. I assume none of this could ever be broadcast now in the UK.
I miss the days when they actually showed independent films.
While conceding that experts do sometimes fail, he says the best answer to this is the self-correcting presence of other experts to recognize and rectify systemic failures.
See, also: global warming
Wherein the “other experts” are hounded into obscurity.
The best thing to protect us from TOP MEN?
Other TOP MEN.
Someone has to be the bottom. Can’t be TOPS all the way down. Can it?
It could be circular.
We need expert police to police the experts!
Who Pedants the Pedantmen?
pedantperson please.
There’s always got to be one.
Technically, there doesn’t always have to be one.
They tend to come in pairs
Or packs.
I believe pedants travel in pods.
Or is that pederasts?
Same difference.
No, Pederasts travel in Parlements.
I thought pederasts traveled in Epstein’s jet…
Wouldn’t that be “Pedants and Peduncles”?
Pedants vs Pedanteaters, Pedantipathy.
Or, if your pedant is turning into your peduncle, she’s your pedant with pendant pending.
Poor Pendrones.
pendejos?
that works.
Eckshually it is written:
¿Pendejos?
exceso
More rain, dammit! But there’s still time for this
https://www.gofundme.com/f/v8pdm-getting-to-arizona?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1
We broke halfway last night, but a way to go ..
I’m told if you don’t promote, it doesn’t work, I have lost all shame
I still don’t have any photos of the first transgender hooker I sent you. WTF Paypal?
(((Someone))) has some ‘splaining to do.
OMWC is trying to turn us into vegans in order to burn the planet to cinders
Does it taste like despair ?
Freedom fighters
First lady Melania Trump was booed multiple times on Tuesday as she addressed the crowd at an event in Baltimore.
The B’More Youth Summit aims to bring awareness to the opioid crisis in the United States, and throughout her speech, several members of the audience booed and spoke over her, CNN reports. This was the first time Trump has been booed on her own, without her husband by her side.
After the event, Trump released a statement to CNN, saying, “We live in a democracy and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the fact is we have a serious crisis in our country and I remain committed to educating children on the dangers and deadly consequences of drug abuse.”
I’d be fascinated to know exactly who those noble booing patriots were, and how they got in.
They weren’t saying boo, they were saying “BOOOBS”
I was saying, “Boo-oobs!”
Booo-urns! Booo-urns!
I assume it’s people who support Baltimore City government, which makes them morons.
You know, the common clay!
The summit wasn’t organized by Melania’s foundation if that’s what you’re implying.
When everybody is a Nazi, nobody is a Nazi
“Yeah, it’s horrible,” said Mike Murphy, a Republican strategist who has worked on presidential campaigns for Mitt Romney and John McCain and describes himself as a “never Trumper.”
“The Republican Party has been hijacked by Trump into this crude nativist populism and dregs like Miller running wild in positions of power,” Murphy said.
Not that long ago, promoting the views of white nationalists would have hurt your career in Washington.
Yeah, and not long ago, a self-declared socialist would get laughed off the stage.
Not that long ago, promoting the views of white nationalists would have hurt your career in Washington.
I want just one example of Trump promoting white nationalism.
I still think it’s funny that Obama’s platform from 2008 would basically get you branded as a hardcore neo-Nazi by today’s Leftists.
“I want just one example of Trump promoting white nationalism.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard them quote a single example of what Trump did. They just say ‘his behavior is unacceptable!’. They give no examples. Let’s impeach him for that! For what? He’s a racist! Give us an example? He’s worse than Hitler!
That’s all your getting.
The only thing that I have heard has been taken entirely out of context. And they still push that narrative with his Charlottesville comments. They are delusional and/or liars.
Alternatively: They cite something Trump did that pretty much every president before him also did, then dismiss it as “whataboutism” if you bring up historical context and precedent.
I would say they don’t want a debate, but I have to accept that they do. The debate they want is one where you come into a hostile environment, they make their case and then when you try to respond, you are shouted down by hysterical onlookers until they run up and turn over the table you are speaking from, and then you are disinvited from that venue, forever. See, they won!
That is no more a debate than the rapid-fire spewing of buzzwords until the opponant gives up in exasperation.
They want struggle sessions not debates. Debate involves some level of respect for the opponent or his position or both.
Logic and reason are tools of the patriarchy!
The guy worked for McCain and has the gall to throw shade at anyone?
Yeah, John McCain was the very epitome of restraint and sobriety when it comes to government.
Fuck that asshole in the neck.
McCain personally killed POCs! He was a hero. Nazis are people who try to stop the killing of POCs, because they hate POCs, especially the POCs that attack the Jews.
The summit wasn’t organized by Melania’s foundation if that’s what you’re implying.
The article(s) state “she was booed” but they make no attempt to determine who exactly was doing it, thereby implying Melania was booed by the students, ostensibly motivated by civic pride and righteous outrage at Trump’s lack of respect for the fine city of Baltimore. I find that questionable.
I wonder who else was in the audience.
The kids teachers of course
“I wonder who else was in the audience”
Catherine Pugh, another of Baltimore’s finest? It’s totally not a shithole!
People who study far-right extremism say this is how ideas move from the fringe to the mainstream, and they warn that these ideas have been driving extremist violence in places such as Charlottesville, Va.; Pittsburgh; El Paso, Texas; and elsewhere.
Cynthia Miller-Idriss of American University studies white nationalism and extremism. She says the normalization of hate speech may be well underway.
*raises hand, flashes okay sign*
“He’s worse than his Dad’s fake teeth!”
George Washington had wooden teeth. We learned that in school. We used to learn stuff in school, real stuff, like Washington’s wooden teeth.
That’s just because George Washington was secretly a Golden Age Green Lantern Villain.
He did chop down a cherry tree, they say. That’s a sort of hate crime, I think.
The juxtaposition of virgins and wood is kind of creepy in a pedophile way.
According to progs I know, all of the founding fathers owned slaves and therefore, everything they ever did, including the Constitution and creation of our Republic are illegitimate and must be scrapped and replaced by things that today’s woke people come up with. They really believe this is the solution, to something, they have no idea what. The results really don’t matter, the social justice reason is all that matters.
Don’t forget about throwing that rock across the Potomac.
Six foot eight, weighs a fuckin ton!
That is one hella deep nerd cut, there.
The Polite Racist
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
It was just some links to The Bee.
It was a lot of links, thus moderated.
You’re supposed to let him get worried, Maybe talk about incoming cat butts
.(.
(.)
The spacing needs improvement…
.(
(¡)
The first one’s easier to type.
.(.
(*)
Let’s see how this looks.
^(^
(*)
incoming cat butts
Get enough of that at home. The cats are somewhat inconsiderate.
Every time someone mentions cat butts, I am reminded that I have cat butt magnets. I must go find them. It’s a moral imperative. It’s my refrigerator too, woman!
More than 2 links, it goes to moderation.
It seems to me the only specifically “racist” thing they can hang on Trump is his vocal calls for burning the Central Park Five. I don’t think he wanted them strung up for being black, but New York was getting a reputation for not being a safe place, and a lot of people were begging for get-tough policing.
*Pay no attention to the Superpredator behind the curtain.
It’s all just partisan hackery at this point. I read an article this morning where the person just repeated over and over again, we have to impeach, this behavior is unacceptable! There was never even a single example of what behavior they were referring to. As the reader, you just have to assume that bad orange man is bad and does bad things.
For me the somewhat racist thing is that he does is when focuses on the “bad hombres” within the population of illegal immigrants without really acknowledging that most rather than some are good people. I don’t think it hurts anti- illegal immigrant arguments to say yes most are good people but we cannot accept all of them into our country who want to come to this country.
And just a couple short years ago, it was a totally noncontroversial position to say that immigration needs to happen within the legal framework for doing so; that we can’t allow anyone who physically shows up at the border to come in and immediately claim the full bevy of welfare benefits.
And this-
Not that long ago, promoting the views of white nationalists would have hurt your career in Washington.
might come as something to a surprise to Woodrow Wilson and his adherents.
That was before the Democrats redeemed themselves under LBJ and the racists in the Democratic party changed sides.
redeemed themselves in this case means switch positions from
1. Black people are inferior and therefore should be kept under tight control by implementing policies that deny them their rights.
2. Black people are inferior and therefore should be kept under tight control by implementing programs to make them entirely dependent on Government so that we can deny them their rights.
They figured out that hunting is less efficient than trapping.
The fundamental progressive failure is due to misunderstanding logic.
If A then B does not imply If B then A. So if white nationalists reject immigration, the progressives erroneously assume that anyone that rejects immigration is a white nationalist.
So, it is true that many of Trump’s positions related to Make America Great Again are also held by white nationalists. In this progressive mindset, this is absolute proof that Trump is a white nationalist.
And there is really nothing than can be done to change the mind of these progressives, because can’t teach logic to people driven by emotion.
Hitler used toilet paper, Hitler was a Nazi, therefore people who use toilet paper are Nazi’s.
The people who use leaves are communists, so it tracks.
He also liked German Sheppards. And he painted. And was a vegetarian.
Vegetarians are NAZI’s. It is known.
Except if you look at the policy position of white nationalists, they have a manifesto that more closely resembles the blather pouring off the DNC stage than it does MAGA.
Correct.
Progressive failure number 1 is the fallacy If A then B, then by god If B then A.
Progressive failure number 2 is they can’t even get A correct.
Somebody once noted that progressives have travel and mating habits indistinguishable from the KKK. They just talk about minorities differently in their gated communities.
For you gear heads out there.
Hear a LS7 push rod V-8 rev to 11,230 rpm. The sound is pretty impressive.
https://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/a29994025/custom-chevy-ls7-v-8-revs-to-11000-rpm/
Another link
https://www.enginelabs.com/news/project-spinal-tap-makes-an-insane-11230-rpm-dyno-pull/
Going non-traditional at the OBE Household. T-giving menu
Smoked pulled pork, smoked brisket are the main entree.
Sides will have a bit of tradition such as mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato pie, roasted asparagus.
Gonna do some smoked deviled eggs too.
Happy Thanksgiving glibbies
Sounds tasty, enjoy! OBE
Hear a LS7 push rod V-8 rev to 11,230 rpm. The sound is pretty impressive.
Doesn’t work for me. I’d be interested to know more about it. I want to see the video when it lets go.
Still, that’s fairly impressive with push rods. I doubt it will last more than a few pulls, but it’s neat to see.
What? Gestapo? that would never happen here.
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/oakland-county/2019/11/27/ice-arrests-fake-michigan-university-sting-now-up-250/4318933002/
Entrapment is evil, scamming the immigration system is skeevy, and the journalist sucks. I don’t like anybody involved in this story.
If the Feds set up the university, I would hope they would be charged with fraud and filing false documents as any other diploma mill would be.
Trashy, the link on your name is hilarious. What a perfect find.
?
Okay, if I have to cry, you do too.
You bitch.
*sniffle* Sorry not sorry.
If I could beat the person to death who intentionally ran over MY cat, with the shovel I buried her with, I totally would. Sorry, not sorry. Some people need to be removed from the gene pool. I can only imagine what great contributions a POS like that has made for the betterment of humankind.
#metoo
We are on our second black cat.
First one, Blackberry, we sent over the Rainbow Bridge at 16 because she could barely breathe. We think congestive heart failure.
The second one we got (quite by accident) (I was afraid my husband would have a problem with having another black cat because Blackberry, who was Daddy’s Cat, broke his heart) is also black. He’s a very sweet boy, but besides being black, he looks nothing like Blackberry. It’s so odd how they can both be black but look so different. He has decided he is also Daddy’s Cat.
It’s nice that pets choose to “belong” to a single person.
We have just the old gray cat and a chug left. Except for my son, none of us can stand the chug. She is a PITA. We want to put her back up for adoption, but he wants to keep her. He takes better care of her than my daughter did her cat, so we are keeping her.
Our black cat was one of the luckiest things that ever happened to us. We want our next (right after Christmas, I hope) to be a black cat too.
You shut up! I’m not crying!
Stupid seasonal allergies.
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Would read again.