Sorry, guy. You get a lump of coal.

Two days left till Christmas! I hope many of you are taking the whole week off.  I know I won’t be.  There’s literal work to get done as well as continuing to unpack and move stuff from the old house to the new one. Not to mention, I have a shitload of shit to build for Santa tomorrow night.  But that’s the way it goes. I’m not complaining.  I’ll leave that to Cleveland Browns fans. And complain they will. The way the end of the second quarter was coached yesterday would leave any fan sick to their stomach. Texans fans are happy.  As are Pats, 49ers, Falcons, Ravens, Saints, Colts, Dolphins (and Bengals, in a way), Jets, Giants, Raiders, Eagles (at the expense of the Cowboys, who should have fired their coach at the airport), Cardinals and Chiefs.

Across the pond, the misery of ManUre fans continues apace. Everton made a splash with a massive managerial hire…then played a snoozefest of a draw. Spuds lost to Chelski in humiliating fashion and some of their loser fans topped it off with racist monkey chants. Man City topped Liecester. And Liverpool won the Club World Cup. And Ohio State beat Kentucky in Vegas in basketball in a rather exciting game.

“Fifty bucks the Harbaugh kid picks his nose.”

Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith was born on this day.  As were cosmetics magnate and first female African-American millionaire Madam CJ Walker, hard-of-hearing VP candidate James Stockdale, bowling legend Dick Weber, Japanese emperor Akihito, “The Golden boy” Paul Hornung, voice actor Harry Shearer, douchy general Wesley Clark, ageless daytime actress Susan Lucci, King Crimson’s Adrian Belew, enormous douche Bill Kristol, Iron Maiden’s Dave Murray, underachiever Jim Harbaugh, Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder, and legendary actor Corey Haim.

That’s quite a list.  But we have to move on to…the links!

It’s a beautiful day…

Bill Cosby’s publicist is all out of fucks to give. Dude needs to have a pudding pop and relax.

Gee, this is a real surprise. Despots gonna despot.

Not an ideal place to park.

This is part of the reason why I’m glad I left Virginia (twice). I’m just surprised it happened east of Richmond. This usually goes down west of Charlottesville.

Chicagoans want 2019 to go out with a bang. And they’re succeeding, sadly.

Christ, what an asshole. I can’t see ever doing something like this.

As the impeachment circus continues, Trump continues to remake the Judiciary. Nice job on the rules change, Dirty Harry. You should have listened to Cocaine Mitch.

Remember that cop in Fort Worth who shot a woman inside her home recently? He was just charged with murder. Which continues Texas’s streak of doing the right thing in these situations.

I’ll do a couple birthday songs today. Here’s the first one. And here’s the second. Sorry, Eddie, but you lost this argument. It’s still a catchy song.

And with that, I bid you good day.  Make it a great one, friends!