Friday Afternoon Links

Happy Friday afternoon. Here are some links. Too tired to do the chitchat thing.

Hospitals are claiming that parents do not have right to review their minor child’s medical records well below majority. As young as 10-12. And saying it is Federal Law. I’d love to see RC Dean’s take on this. My own personal take is that, if nothing else, those records might contain evidence of negligence or incompetence that it is my legal obligation to protect my child from until they take over that duty at the age of majority. Now, I don’t think I would have a problem if a pediatrician asked me if they could talk to my 12 year old without me in the room.

Trump says there’s going to be a temporary deal to reopen the FedGov. Sad. That’s for losers.

The Republic of Macedonia is now the Republic of North Macedonia. And this being the Balkans, both the (North) Macedonians and the Greeks hate the deal.

 

Comments

313 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. Playa Manhattan

    “As young as 10-12.”

    My kids’ pediatrician should totally do that if she wants me to arrest her for battery on a minor.

    Seriously. If you treat my child without my consent, I will zip tie your fucking hands and drive you to the nearest police station.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      This^^

      We’d do a three legged race down to the emergency room to have my boot removed from your ass.

    2. Rhywun

      They’re just trying to put your mind at ease in case your kid comes home one day with a surprise sex-change.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      “Its okay, I’m a doctor”

  2. Mad Scientist

    Trump says there’s going to be a temporary deal to reopen the FedGov.

    Some sort of continuing resolution?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      He wants to give his speech, and then he’ll shut it down again.

      I still like the idea of the SOTU from the Covington gymnasium.

      1. Festus

        With all of the boys wearing tinsel halos, crepe angel wings and MAGA hats.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        A tweetstorm would work too. Just bypass govt. and the mainstream media altogether.

  3. Drake

    Does the FBI normally allow random guys with cameras to wander into their armed arrests?

    Almost makes you think that they tipped off CNN.

    1. Florida Man

      How else would CNN know when the raid was going to happen?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        If you needed a good laugh, CNN’s response:

        “CNN’s ability to capture the arrest of Roger Stone was the result of determined reporting and interpreting clues revealed in the course of events. That’s called journalism. #FactsFirst “

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Welp, dammit, CNN beat me to the joke.

          1. Drake

            They forget to tell the guy to act surprised when the FBI rolled up like SEAL Team 6.

        2. Florida Man

          Un-huh. I totally believe that.

        3. Rebel Scum

          Good lord…These people have zero shame.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Crack investigative journalism?

        /I crack myself up.

      3. Brett L

        I read a report from HotAir (which is why it didn’t make the links) that said basically CNN was reporting last night that the Mueller grand jury convened for the first time in months yesterday and they may have just staked out Stone’s house because he’s the closest person to Trump that hadn’t received an indictment yet. Its not impossible that the blind squirrel found a nut. The anchors and leadership may be morons, but the stringers on the camera crews still gotta hustle to eat.

        1. Drake

          Still weird that the FBI just ignored him. If I just walked up on them serving that kind of warrant, would I be ignored?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Sure, right after they pushed your face into the pavement with their knee.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Depends. What else are you doing?

          3. Galt1138

            Also weird that no other news organization besides CNN was there to cover it.

          4. BakedPenguin

            That actually works both ways. Much as I hate CNN, if they actually did journalism for once (or, alternately, got some staffer to Lewinsky some FBI guy’s cock), then they might have gotten an exclusive.

        2. wdalasio

          I’d buy that except for the fact that the FBI treated them as blonging there.

        3. Mad Scientist

          So they made a big show of arresting the guy with all that paramilitary gear just to impress his neighbors?

          1. Playa Manhattan
          2. Bob Boberson

            I still am amazed/disgusted that SWAT teams are being used to serve warrants for obstruction charges and nobody bats an eye. Good thing we don’t live in a police state like all those people in Russia.

          3. Drake

            There isn’t even an underlying crime he’s being charged with. It’s all process BS. But they need an entry team to take down an old man charged with not liking them.

          4. Festus

            He might scold them and then offer a Werther… Better safe than sorry!

          5. Bob Boberson

            It’s all about showing he and and the American public who’s really in charge. The FBI was bad under Hoover, it’s only gotten worse with time. Everyone will be better off when it’s spoken/written about in the past tense.

          6. Festus

            It’s ridiculous. Roger Stone is a fabulist and a cranky cuss but I’d wager he’s not a treasonous spy.

          7. Brochettaward

            They’ve gone after everyone besides Manafort for process crimes.

          8. Drake

            Podesta got himself immunity for… something… being on the right team?

        4. Playa Manhattan

          In Murray Povich voice:

          The HRT’s reaction to the reporter says…. that was a lie!

    2. AlmightyJB

      If I were Trump, I would pardon everyone arrested under the Mueller investigation.

      1. Rebel Scum

        But the question is do I have enough popcorn and beer to for the ensuing shitfest?

        1. AlmightyJB

          It would be epic

  4. Private Chipperbot

    Michigan family kicked of plane for B.O.

    “The Adler family were asked to deplane last night after multiple passengers, along with our crew members, complained about Mr. Adler’s body odor,” American Airlines said in a statement to The Detroit News. “Our Miami airport team members were concerned about the comfort of our other passengers due to the odor. Our team members took care of the family and provided hotel accommodations and meals, and rebooked them on a flight to Detroit this morning.”

    However, Yossi Adler didn’t believe their reasoning and demanded to know why they were forced off.

    “I’m very frustrated,” Adler said. “I want them to own up to what really happened and to tell me the truth what was it?”

    1. Playa Manhattan

      No pictures? How am I supposed to make up my mind?

    2. Florida Man

      Was he not supposed to have BO the next day? Why didn’t they prison de-con him on the tarmac?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Presumably, the hotel AA paid for has a shower. You can lead a (fill in the blank once we figure it out) to water…

        1. Florida Man

          fill in the blank once we figure it out-

          Parking valet?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            By the name, I’m guessing JOO

        2. kinnath

          an ass

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Why didn’t they prison de-con him on the tarmac?

        The TSA is on government shutdown?

        1. Florida Man

          *applause gif*

    3. When I saw your link, I thought the family was kicked off the plane for Barack Obama. 😐

      1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

        #metoo

    4. A Leap at the Wheel

      This story sounds like fake…

      “Our Miami airport team members…”

      Nevermind.

    5. Chipwooder

      Man, that stinks.

    6. Rhywun

      I was waiting for the inevitable cries of racism. Apparently there is at least one media outlet that hasn’t figured out click-bait yet.

    7. Galt1138

      “They’re offensive. Smelling. I mean They. Smell. Bad.”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzzE6XLbC8M

      1. Spudalicious
    1. Pan Zagloba

      Needs more bikini-clad totty.

      And a smug Donald mug in every frame. So we know who provided it.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Racists

  5. The Late P Brooks

    “CNN’s ability to capture the arrest of Roger Stone was the result of determined reporting and interpreting clues revealed in the course of events. That’s called journalism. #FactsFirst “

    How droll.

    1. Festus

      This is what Grandma used to call sitting in the cat-bird seat.

  6. Certified Public Asshat

    Be like Sweeden

    Prime Minister Stefan Lofven’s Social Democrats have agreed a draft policy deal with the Centre, Liberal and Green parties that resolved Sweden’s political impasse created by an inconclusive election last September.

    Under the deal, Lofven has pledged to cut taxes for wage-earners and companies to secure the support of the centre-right Centre and Liberal parties.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Be more white protestant?

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Sure. Also worth pointing out there is no estate or inheritance taxes in Sweden, let alone a wealth tax.

        1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

          And the corporate tax rate is relatively low. It’s the personal income tax that kills you there.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Glorious VAT is where the money is. 25% on every transaction doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up.

          2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            I forgot about that. My European friends like to complain about how in the US you don’t see the sales tax until you make the purchase as opposed to Europe where the VAT is built into the price. They have a point. It is inconvenient. But I like to point out to them that it is useful to see how much the government is taking from you.

  7. invisible finger

    “Now, I don’t think I would have a problem if a pediatrician asked me if they could talk to my 12 year old without me in the room.”

    Monster!

  8. Brett L

    Spud, if you show up, several of us were having an argument about what would happen if you throw a lit match in a bucket of gasoline. I’m told you were professionally trained in something that would make you an authoratative source.
    Let’s assume for the sake of defining parameters that its at least a 1 gallon bucket, at least half full, and the ambient temperature is approximately 70F. Will it blow up or will it douse the match? I could only find youtube footage of:
    (a) people in short sleeved shirts dousing a lit cigarette by dropping it in a coffee can with 3″ of gas in the bottom
    (b) some enterprising Canadian teenagers dousing a match at -30F
    (c) a guy dropping a match in an “empty” car gas tank on a hot day in full sun — so very likely to be all vapors — and it shot fire out of the tank.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      “professionally trained in something that would make you an authoratative source.”

      Man, you need to meet more rednecks. I used to “train” on this shit for free when I was a teenager. I don’t know about the specific parameters you have here, but under the conditions “almost sober” and “in best friends garden” I can assure you that a lit match tossed into a empty #10 can full to the brim will create a satisfying WHOMP when it ignites.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      “Spud, if you show up, several of us were having an argument about what would happen if you throw a lit match in a bucket of gasoline. I’m told you were professionally trained in something that would make you an authoratative source.”

      He’s an arsonist?!

      1. Playa Manhattan

        99% Sure.

        Margin of error +/- 1%.

      2. Mad Scientist

        He’s an arsonist?!

        Redundant.

        1. Spudalicious

          The only thing better than fighteng them, is lighting them.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      d) Not totally unrelated since it has a match: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTnD40xvSeM

      1. C. Anacreon

        You know who else said they have a match?

    4. Bob Boberson

      Come on! You live in Florida. You dishonor your namesake by not finding out through trial and error.

      1. Brett L

        I won’t lie, I was assembling the gas, fire extinguisher, and can, and then couldn’t find a single match in my house. I have at least six lighters and two flint and steel fire starters, but no matches.

        1. Bob Boberson

          If Floridaman knows anything, it’s how to improvise.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          Jesus, do I have to do everything for you. Get some rope. Get an empty tin can. Stuff the rope in the can. Pour in some gasoline. Let the rope absorb the gasoline. Use it as a fuse to light the bucket of gasoline.

          Make sure you are a safe distance back. 6 inches should be good.

          1. Brett L

            I CAN MAKE THE GASOLINE CATCH FIRE IF I WANT TO.

            The whole thing started with an article about the antivax measles outbreak where someone said it was like throwing a lit match on a bucket of gasoline. Knowing that you can drop a lit cigarette in 3″ of gas and it will go out, I started to wonder if the match would be like a cigarette and just go out. So the match is the key to the entire experiment.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Still no sign of Spud.

            INT. NIGHT. Back alley. Spud in hoodie staring mesmerized at fire in a garbage can. Looks down at watch.

            ‘Oh, the links should be up right about now.’

            Slinks off into the night.

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparklemotion.

          4. Playa Manhattan

            Suck a fuck.

          5. Bob Boberson

            I’m gonna say no, match will not go out. Hot embers from a cigarette or charcoal get extinguished. If there is perceptible flame….stand back.

          6. C. Anacreon

            …..Buenos Aires!
            You forgot to finish the sentence.

          7. The Other Kevin

            Just theorizing here, but I think a wooden match would sink and go out, but a cardboard match would float and start a fire.

        3. Florida Man

          Lighting a camp stove with fire steel is very satisfying for me.

          1. Tundra

            Camp stove? Pretty fancy, man!

          2. Florida Man

            Technically it’s a burner that screws on to a propane can.
            *looks down in same*

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      several of us were having an argument about what would happen if you throw a lit match in a bucket of gasoline.

      Let it be known, this is exactly what we get into arguments about.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It wan’t an argument; rather, a few people saying things that were incorrect. Shame on them.

    6. Not Adahn

      flaming piece of wood will ignite, smoldering tobacco will not.

    7. blackjack

      Once, while riding with a bunch of guys, one guy was smoking while gassing up. Somebody botched him out for it, so he says ” nothing would happen even if I tossed the lit cig in the tank” then, he actually did. Opened the cap and tossed it in. Of course it went out and that was that, until, about 5 miles down the road his bike sputtered to stop. The filter unraveled and clogged up the peacock. Dumbass!

      1. Playa Manhattan

        A dumbass, but also a hero.

    8. Spudalicious

      It’s not the gasoline that burns, it’s the vapors coming off the gasoline. You need to have the right fuel/oxygen mixture for it to ignite.

      The flashpoint of gasoline is -50 degrees and the ignition temperature is 495 degrees. The temperature of a lit match is 600-800 degrees, so yeah, good luck with that.

      A lit cigarette that isn’t being puffed on is below the ignition temperature, which is why dumbasses can throw a cigarette into a bucket of gasoline.

      Many moons ago, I picked up a 12 yo kid who’s dad had let him throw a match on the bbq. He had used gasoline instead of charcoal lighter. The poor bastards skin was hanging off him in ribbons. He had 2nd & 3rd degree burns on the front side of his body from the waist up.

      1. Sean

        Great…thanks Spud. Now I want bbq.

        1. Spudalicious

          I did a big strip steak last night. Burgers this weekend.

      2. Mad Scientist

        VINDICATION!

    9. DenverJ

      Gasoline will not burn without oxygen. That is why your internal combustion engine either has a carburator or fuel injectors that vaporize the gas and mix it with air.

  9. Gadianton

    Treat without my consent? Not a chance. Talk to them without me present? That’s routine with a daughter. I got thrown out of the exam room every time so they could ask about sexual activity without me present. Made my oldest daughter grumpy. “The answer’s not going to change.”

    1. wdalasio

      “The answer’s not going to change.”

      Damn! It sounds like you raised your daughter well.

      1. Mad Scientist

        “Dad, for $50, the answer won’t change after you leave the room.”

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Honestly, I hope that all of my daughters sexual activity will happen when I’m not present.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        You hope? That’s a pretty low bar.

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        We also used to put two inches of kerosene in said friend’s mom’s empty 3L Fago bottles, drop in a disposable CO2 container for air guns / seltzer bottles, and light the match. The fire would heat up the CO2 charge, which would go bang and spew burning liquid all over the place.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          What pornhub channel is that?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            and spew burning liquid all over the place.

            Hot spurting MILFs.

            Obviously.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          Shit, that was supposed to be in reply to my other comment…

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Back when doctors were allowed to use their own judgement, they would prescribe birth control for “acne”.

      1. I would have thought acne would make you less likely to need birth control.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Man, I don’t know what you were like when you where 15, but this does not align with my lived experience as a fifteen year old boy.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Not a red light. Not even a speed bump.

      2. DenverJ

        I have known women who take birth control for acne, and also stop they don’t have a period.

  10. wdalasio

    Now, I don’t think I would have a problem if a pediatrician asked me if they could talk to my 12 year old without me in the room.

    I don’t have kids, but I’d probably go the same way, if I did. The thing is, my doing so would be a courtesy. I’d argue that, as the child’s parent, I had a right to be there that I simply was refraining from exercising.

    1. Florida Man

      If they suspect abuse, it’s hard to question the kid in front of the abuser.

      1. Brett L

        I was going to say, if you refuse, you’ll probably get flagged as a potential abuser, and if you do it the wrong way, probably have a conversation with CPS.

        1. invisible finger

          And people wonder why birth rates are too low to support the welfare state.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          Are you kidding? A father taking their kid to the pediatrician without the mother present gets you flagged as a potential abuser.

      2. invisible finger

        Since when do their suspicions trump my moral obligations as a parent?

        Let alone the fact that as the paying customer I have every right to know every single thing going on in the service I am paying for.

        1. Florida Man

          i think it is more looking out for the kids right not to be abused.

        2. Subwoofer

          You’re clearly arguing from principle, but remember this is America. The State owns all children and you’re just a potential abuser who they’ve graciously allowed to raise one of their future tax cattle.

  11. grrizzly

    Wearing a MAGA Hat in Harvard Square. Day 2.

    The weather today is much nicer, so everyone could see my hat on the way to a Mexican taqueria. It didn’t cause any reaction. I got a quesadilla, today with carnitas, like I’ve had almost every week for the last 10 years. So far It seems that people don’t care one way or the other.

    1. The Other Kevin

      If you’re looking for a reaction, you should try wearing that hat on Twitter.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Especially with all of those newly unemployed juornolists hanging out there who are putting off learning to code.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      You are ruining some perfectly fine stereotypes. Why do you hate America?

    3. Bob Boberson

      You mean we aren’t a nation on the brink of civil war? The nation isn’t divided between roving bands of savage MAGA White Supremacists and righteous persecuted minorities? It’s almost like the media lives in a bubble and has an incentive to be sensationalists or something….

      1. Bob Boberson

        Also it turns out people are way more confrontational online where they risk nothing by being total dickbags to complete strangers.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Alternative explanation: White Supremacists took Boston already.

        1. tarran

          The most racist city I’ve ever lived in during my life is Boston.

          Seriously…. it was the mid 80’s before they finally desegregated public housing and there was bona fide rioting.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Please start these with “Dear diary”

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        “I never thought this would happen to me…I wore a MAGA hat and no one noticed.”

    5. invisible finger

      Not being noticed was triggering.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        They ghosted him!

    6. Chipwooder

      Hmmm….maybe try the USA hat instead?

    7. The Other Kevin

      You would think that a bear wearing a KKK hood would at least garner a few glances.

    8. A Leap at the Wheel

      Should have gotten the burrito bowl and loudly exclaim “I love the Hispanics!”

      1. Rhywun

        “Can I get some more ketchup over here?”

      2. Bobarian LMD

        “And some of em are good people!”

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I assume.

      3. Soyboy

        Lmao

    9. Festus

      How large are you? That seems to scare people away. Do you have furrowed brows? I’m picturing a buff Breshznev.

      1. grrizzly

        No, I don’t look scary. Slightly taller than average, thin by American standards.

        1. Soyboy

          “thin by American standards”

          Only 300 lbs

          1. grrizzly

            165 lb.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Grizzly is quite handsome for a Russian.

        They were probably just checking him out.

    10. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      My opinion of Harvard has gone up. I didn’t think that was possible.

      Thank you, “Big Balls” grrizzly

    11. Bobarian LMD

      Did the quesadilla taste extra spitty?

      1. grrizzly

        So far I only went to the places where the food is prepared right in front of my eyes. I’ll try to be more adventurous next week.

    12. Count Potato

      To be fair, you’re a bear, and no one in Massachusetts is allowed to carry a gun.

      You need to try this in a blue city in a red state.

    13. creech

      Were you smirking? Need to smirk to guarantee reaction.

  12. Enough About Palin

    “Now, I don’t think I would have a problem if a pediatrician asked me if they could talk to my 12 year old without me in the room.”

    Then you’re a motherfucking fool.

    Pediatrician: So how many guns does your father have in the house?

    Brett L, Jr.: 35.

    Pediatrician: And does your father ever drink in the house where these guns are kept?

    Brett L, Jr.: Yes.

    Pediatrician: Nurse, get me CPS, stat!

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      My son knows all my guns fell in a lake in a tragic boating accident.

      1. Chipwooder

        Hah, we just had that conversation recently with our kids given our fucking governor’s new gungrabbing proposal which includes confiscation:

        Me: We’re gonna have to move, I swear. If this thing passes, they can search houses to confiscate.

        Wife: We don’t have any guns.

        Son: But yeah, we do! We have-

        Wife: *more emphatically* no, we don’t.

        Son: But-

        Wife: NO. WE. DON’T. HAVE. ANY. GUNS.

        1. Bob Boberson

          Thats a keeper right there.

          1. DenverJ

            Yeah, too bad he’s gonna have to get rid of the kid.

        2. Jarflax

          Might not be a good idea to put this conversation on the internet…

          1. commodious spittoon

            We don’t have conversations on this website.

    2. Brett L

      35 he knows of.

    3. Mojeaux

      Doc: Do you have any guns in your house?

      Tax Deductions: No.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Kid that I’m going to put up for adoption: Yes.

        1. Mojeaux

          ?

          Why? Because my kids would lie to the doc as I instructed them to?

          1. Jarflax

            He mean a kid that says yes to the question gets put up, not your kids.

          2. Mojeaux

            Oh. *headdesk*

            I’m doing taxes with XY TD sorting receipts and I’m explaining to him how it all works. My mind is not otherwise engaged.

          3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            To be fair, I’d put your kids up for adoption just to be safe.

          4. Mojeaux

            There are days…

          5. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Oh, I know. If only there were a band of Gypsies roaming the neighborhood when I need them.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Pediatrician: And does your father ever drink in the house where these guns are kept?

      Brett L, Jr.: Yes. Only when he isn’t administering coke rectally.

      Fixed.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Did someone give Brett coke?

        *perks up*

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. I’m a total drug nerd, so I don’t know anything about how you deviants go about your business. But I am curious. When you say administering coke rectally, do you mean that Brett is putting drugs up his own ass? Or are the drugs already there and he’s spewing them out his ass toward other people?

        This is why I never did drugs. I’m sure I would be invited to a coke party and someone would ask me to administer them rectally and with my loser aura I’d fuck up and choose the wrong option and get laughed at.

        1. Mad Scientist

          So, Pope Jimbo…..you wanna go camping?

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          do you mean that Brett is putting drugs up his own ass?

          Correct.

          It is a discreet method one may utilize in order to take coke. This is the coke-addict’s analogue to the pot brownie, or “shootin up” between the toes. It is this way, that one may continue taking coke, without the obvious issue of tearing up your nasal cavity.

          There is an argument that can be made that the GI tract is specifically designed to absorb such materials into the blood stream and this is a better way to do it. I personally have no opinion on this, nor am I a physician; this is best left to the few that may wish to chine in.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Somebody ought to have told Artie Lange. Dude’s looking rough.

        3. jesse.in.mb

          do you mean that Brett is putting drugs up his own ass?

          I think it’s fairly safe to assume this is true regardless of context.

          1. Brett L

            I love my wife, but if she has one drawback, its that she won’t do it for me.

          2. To be fair, it’s like throwing a bag of powdered sugar down a hallway. The pleasure is all gone for her.

        4. Fourscore

          Regular or Coke Zero, I’m never sure which is the good stuff. Used orally the bubbles kind of tickle my palate, I’ve noticed that.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            You do NOT want to cut coke with sugar around Brett….

            *stares into the distance*

          2. Sean

            I knew a guy who liked to cut his coke with meth. Yikes.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of matches- I use wooden kitchen matches to light the burners on my stove, because i (and the stove) am old fashioned. I happened to be reading the side of a box of “strike anywhere” matches at the store the other day, and there was a prominently displayed message about how the matches are made with sustainable, responsibly harvested trees.

    Like I fucking care. I just want the stupid thing to burst into flames when I rub it on something rough.

    1. Brett L

      Are there any wood products available in the grocery store that AREN’T made out of farmed trees? You could say the same thing about 2x4s at the hardware store.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Yeah, once you make people actually internalize the cost of cutting down trees (as opposed to using crony capitalism to first seize all the forests and then dole out logging contracts by fiat) its amazing what it does for the environment.

    2. Tres Cool

      euphemism ?

    3. Bobarian LMD

      I just want the stupid thing to burst into flames when I rub it on something rough.

      Just like I likes my wimmen!

    4. Fourscore

      All I can find are the Strike on the Box type. After about 200 strikes there isn’t enough grit left on the box to light the damned match. Takes about 6-8 scratches to light the match . The matches have very little burn stuff on them and have to try to keep them lit to get the birch bark going to start the fire. Looking for two sticks

      1. Tundra

        I have a Zippo.

        1. Fourscore

          The dollar lighters don’t work well when they get cold. I keep them in the garages to light stoves but when they are cold apparently the gas or spark isn’t working. Warm weather they work fine.

        2. Spudalicious

          Zippo, the lighter of kings.

      2. Strike anywhere matches are crap anymore, I use the long matches to light my shop heater (propane tank mounted thing) and I need to keep a lighter around to light the matches.

        1. Chipwooder

          Truth. They’re next to impossible to light these days.

        2. C. Anacreon

          I think they made strike anywhere matches illegal in California for some typically stupid reason.

      3. DenverJ

        A torch like you’d use for sweating copper pipes costs maybe $40.

  14. Creosote Achilles

    Bringing this forward from the dead thread since Pan enjoyed it so much:

    More, I want more journalist propagandist pain to laugh at:

    Learn to code,

    1. Bob Boberson

      I saw that too and it’s gold. Maybe the most delicious batch of tears since the 2016 election.

    2. Chipwooder

      I’ve read them all earlier, but I can’t stop laughing

      1. Creosote Achilles

        The best was the one where a bunch of people spelled out ‘learn to code’ one letter at a time.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Either that was fake, or God exists.

    3. Raston Bot

      lulz worthy

    4. Chipwooder

      Iowahawk, as usual, is shooting lights-out

      1. Tundra

        Brooklyn used to be filled with clickbait factories, now it’s just busted dreams, UHauls, and opioid addicts

        1. Creosote Achilles

          Holy shit. That’s is some lyrical poetry right there.

        2. Count Potato

          Awesome.

    5. Count Potato

      I read that 4chan started it.

    6. Subwoofer

      I don’t want these people learning to code.

      They’ll get snapped up by Google, Facebook, or some other big left wing tech company and paid twice as much as they were making before so they can code even more left wing bias into their systems, which they’ll claim is fact-based objective journalism.

      If these people move into tech, they’ll go out of their way to ensure the sort of bullshit content they used to write is all people who use these platforms see, and they’ll have the support of upper management in doing so.

      Be careful what you wish for.

      1. Rhywun

        Microsoft is already on the case.

    7. Galt1138

      That’s a thing of beauty.

    8. Soyboy

      This is amazing

    9. B.P.

      What jumped out at me is that they all wrote their “If you’re looking for a reporter in the field of [insert hodgepodge of leftist hobbyhorse subjects], I’m available” tweets in pretty much exactly the same way. So they even journolist their out-of-work tweets.

      Also, I know it’s mean-spirited, childish, and vindictive to pile on all of these people who have lost their jobs, and not usually my style. But, for the most part, this particular cohort has already let me know that they hate me, and value their insipid groupthink over displaying any hint of humanity. So I guess I’ll just hate them right back. Again, childish and unproductive, I know.

      1. Soyboy

        Or they’re just not very thoughtful or original.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Are there any wood products available in the grocery store that AREN’T made out of farmed trees?

    I want my strike anywhere matches made from old growth Joshua trees, turned down on a lathe. One tree, one match.

    1. Tundra

      I prefere Bubinga.

    2. Enough About Palin

      I’ve seen that in an old cartoon.

  16. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    I love that CNN response about “journalism”. “We are real news, Mr. President. Now, if you’d excuse us we need to go dox some high school kids who have wrong think”

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      “If you want to be treated with respect, you need to act respectably.”
      -Noone at CNN.

      1. l0b0t

        Hey Leap, sorry, I was too late for the last thread but here is V, V: The Final Battle, and V: The Series. Link expires in 24 hours.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Moral guidance from the IMF

    Lagarde explained that the public now demands that banks have a greater purpose beyond the bottom line.

    “We’re hearing that loud and clear from civil society, from the millennials, from many, many corners around the planet and I think any sector, the financial sector alike, has to have that purpose.

    “It can’t just be single-mindedly the pursuit of profit, it has to be multifaceted and it has to take into account multiple stakeholders.”

    The IMF boss, who famously said that the banking collapse would have looked much differently if it had been “Lehman Sisters” rather than Lehman Brothers dominating Wall Street, also took gender imbalance to task.

    “The numbers are just appalling … you have 20% of board members in the financial sector who are women, and you only have 2% of CEOs who are women.” She said it was “business common sense… that diversity actually precipitates productivity and is good for all”.

    She added: “There should be significant changes, we’re not seeing much of that and I hope the financial sector takes that approach seriously.”

    All she needs to add is, “Nice bank ya gots here. Be a real shame if somethin’ was ta happen to it.”

    1. Rhywun

      She says that as if every company in the Western world isn’t tripping over themselves looking for “diversity”.

    2. Rebel Scum

      It can’t just be single-mindedly the pursuit of profit

      Lucky for you that is no the case because companies profit by giving customers the best product and/or service. Profit is a byproduct of customer satisfaction.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    A “fix” for the labor market

    To us, the “future of work” is now, and it looks bright because of apprenticeships. The programs can help diversify entire industries, build a more inclusive workforce and create pathways to employment for underrepresented communities.

    But the skills gap is a national problem, and closing it will require nothing less than a national movement — one that can only be led by the private sector. Our aim is to enlist more companies to join us in closing the skills and training gaps, which is why we recently unveiled an apprenticeship playbook to help companies jump-start their own programs.

    By rallying employers to invest in apprenticeships, we can unleash the untapped potential of millions. We can better equip our businesses to compete in an age of dynamic change. And we can prepare the United States’ workforce for well-paying jobs that power today’s economy — and tomorrow’s

    That’s nice. I wonder if anybody in HR has told these people apprenticeships and on the job training used to be the norm, but something changes in the past few decades. You used to be able to skills-test pr4ospective employees, too. I wonder why nobody does that anymore.

    1. Rhywun

      You used to be able to skills-test pr4ospective employees, too

      If they can figure out a way to tart it up with trendy buzzwords, maybe they’ll bring that back too.

  19. Lachowsky

    The whole Mueller investigation and the arrest this morning of roger stone has been one big great shining example of why one should never talk to the cops.

    1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      That’s the lesson I’ve learned from this whole thing.

      1. The thing that gets me is these guys aren’t noobs, they’ve all been around the game for years and they not only talk to the feds they lie about shit they have no reason to lie about (assuming the allegations are true). Call it a witchhunt/illegitimate/whatever how dumb do you have to be to bald-faced lie to the feds, these guys have to know that one of the feds’ favorite tricks is to ask questions they know the answer to and hope you’ll lie, hell I know that and I swing a hammer for a living.

        1. Chipwooder

          They think they’re smarter than everyone else. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

          Me, I’m not even opening my mouth to say “I want my lawyer”. I’ll write it on a piece of paper.

        2. Not Adahn

          A couple of other possibilities:

          1. They were expecting “professional courtesy.”
          2. The didn’t actually lie. The feds just said they did. I personally will never believe an FBI who forbids an interrogee to make a recording of the interview. Even if they don’t abuse that they are incentivizing false accusations.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            The fact that a fbi agents’ notes are accepted by the courts and juries as an impartial record of anything continues to be an embarrassment to the supposed justice system.

      1. tarran

        Detective guest lecturer “Who here drove faster than 55 on the Interstate?”

        Hands go up.

        Lawyer professor “Why the hell are you raising your hands!?! I just told you not to talk to him!”

  20. Chipwooder

    Let me translate this heap of emoting into the brass tacks of it: whether or not you actually did anything wrong, it is totally your fault that I’m emotionally damaged and you make me think of kids who tormented me in middle school.

    And just so we’re clear – there are plenty of people who have miserable experiences in middle school. Most of us don’t use them as an excuse to climb up on a cross and nail ourselves to it whenever it suits our purposes.

  21. R C Dean

    Hospitals are claiming that parents do not have right to review their minor child’s medical records well below majority. As young as 10-12. And saying it is Federal Law. I’d love to see RC Dean’s take on this.

    I skipped to the bottom, so don’t know if anyone else has weighed in.

    Boiling away some of the legal tergiversation, a parent who has authority to make medical decisions on behalf of a child is that child’s “personal representative” with the right to see their records. So, if you haven’t lost parental rights, either in divorce or because CPS stripped you of them, you are your child’s personal representative. For children, there are some exceptions:

    (1) If the child has the right to make health care decisions for themselves and has requested that their parents not be their personal representatives.
    (2) The minor has the right to the health care without their parent’s consent (typically, an abortion, contraception, prenatal care and delivery) and gets the service without their consent.
    (3) The parents agree that the health care will be provided confidentially.

    These can all be overridden by state law.

    There are other provisions of HIPAA that may come into play here, under which the health care provider can deny access to records to the patient as well as a personal representative/parent. None of them would justify blanket denial of access to parents.

    We looked at the issue of electronic access to our medical records through a patient portal. Arizona law guarantees parents access to their minor children’s medical records, and this overrides whatever restrictions HIPAA may have or allow, so in Arizona, doing what this hospital has done would be a violation of state law.

    Other hospitals have looked at having minors consent to their parents looking at their records through a patient portal, because those records might contain something that parents aren’t allowed to see (abortion, pregnancy care, family planning, mainly).

    The article says I9 found the practice stems from federal law and all hospitals have a similar policy but not all of them start at the same age. I find this to be an extraordinary overstatement. I believe that a lot of hospitals require the consent of a minor above a certain age to allow parents to see their records through a patient portal. I get the impression from the article that this hospital bars parents from seeing records through a portal and doesn’t have a consent process, which kinda sucks but I get it. The idea that they can bar parents from seeing any of their minor child’s records is lunacy, and would be a violation of federal and state law.

    I chalk up the utter lack of clarity and understanding in the article to the fact that it was written by a journalist.

    1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Wow, “tergiversation”. I gotta say, you use your tongue sweeter than a $20 whore.

    2. Brett L

      I chalk up the utter lack of clarity and understanding in the article to the fact that it was written by a journalist.

      Thanks. Its kind of why I asked.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      The minor has the right to the health care without their parent’s consent (typically, an abortion, contraception, prenatal care and delivery) and gets the service without their consent.

      And yet actual legal adults can be prohibited from buying or owning firearms, liquor, or credit cards. This society is sick.

  22. Count Potato

    “‘I killed her’: College student, 21, ‘stabs her best friend 30 times with a butcher knife’ and greets cops covered in blood in the apartment they shared”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6633263/Virginia-college-student-Luisa-Cutting-charged-murder-best-friend-Alexa-Cannon.html

    Her name is Cutting.

    1. Chipwooder

      Descendant of Bill the Butcher, I presume?

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Should have been Stabbing.

  23. Count Potato

    “Parents of Utah student who was shot dead by her criminal ex-boyfriend after calling police 22 TIMES about him slam university for saying her death could not have been prevented

    Nothing was done and Brown shot her in a parking lot then killed himself”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6632203/Parents-Utah-student-killed-ex-speak-against-college.html

    1. Chafed

      Good lord that is horrible. WTF went on in that police department?

      1. The ex-boyfriend was one of the cops?

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I’m withholding judgement. I wouldn’t be surprised if third parties, particularly parents, contact campus police departments more than once in a blue moon about romantic partners they don’t like.

      If they were that concerned, why wouldn’t they help their daughter transfer to another school, or at the least, withdraw immediately and come home until it was resolved?

  24. Rebel Scum

    Trump says there’s going to be a temporary deal to reopen the FedGov.

    He is the only one that has been trying to negotiate all along. Don’t capitulate!

  25. Rebel Scum

    Donald J. Trump

    @realDonaldTrump
    Greatest Witch Hunt in the History of our Country! NO COLLUSION! Border Coyotes, Drug Dealers and Human Traffickers are treated better. Who alerted CNN to be there?

    Good question. And what exactly is Stone being charged with? I mean, I know what but it does not seem like something that should have held up to scrutiny to get a warrant for arrest.

    1. Fatty Bolger

      I assume he’s charged with being an enemy of the people.

    2. Brett L

      Insufficiently cooperative in a FBI investigation. Subtype — saying things to a Federal agent that disagree with documents they have but won’t let you see until after they’ve asked you the trap question.

  26. R C Dean

    Trump says there’s going to be a temporary deal to reopen the FedGov. Sad. That’s for losers.

    Interesting move. I can see some political/PR upsides for Trump. Of course, the DemOp Media will trumpet this as a stunning victory for Nancy Pelosi and the beginning of the end for Trump.

    Everything depends on the details, of course. It gets the whining, crying federal employees off the news. If “temporary” means its just a few weeks, then the next shutdown is set up as being Congress’s fault, while Trump isn’t really giving anything up, really, since he can still hold out for a permanent end to the shtudown only if he gets his wall funding. I kinda like a looming shutdown for putting pressure on Congress to do a deal.

    1. Rhywun

      It’s for 3 weeks.

    2. Drake

      I’m wondering if the State of the Union will include a declaration of a national emergency and an announcement of RIFs in every federal department and agency.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Schmoobs is satisfied with his self-righteousness.

    “The American people do not like it when you throw a wrench into the lives of government workers over an unrelated political dispute,” Schumer said. “Working people throughout America empathized with the federal workers and were aghast at what the president was doing to them. Hopefully, now the president has learned his lesson”

    “Now, once the president signs the continuing resolution, we in Congress will roll up our sleeves and try to find some agreement on border security,” Schumer continued. “Today the president will sign the bill to reopen the government along the outlines of what we have proposed and hopefully it means a lesson learned for the White House and for many of our Republican colleagues: Shutting down the government over a policy difference is self-defeating.”

    “It accomplishes nothing but pain and suffering for the country and incurs an enormous political cost to the party shutting it down,” Schumer continued.

    Fuck. Off. Asshole. I, for one, empathize but that is extremely limited because most of their jobs should not even exist in the first place. A figurative hatchet needs to be taken to the bureaucracy. I sincerely hope that this is another troll on the part of the Troll in Chief. But I ain’t holding my breath.

    1. Rhywun

      I suspect that upwards of 90% of those Americans who aren’t Feds don’t give a shit about any of this. I know they’ve ginned up some polls claiming that “America blames Trump!” but really at the end of the day do you think they care about an issue that impacts them not in the least?

  28. prolefeed

    A single perfect Latina pic (aka “why building a border wall might have a downside”):

    https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/c25bfd9894db16f610800181b49e1d5d.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=650

    1. Drake

      There would still be gates guarded by red-blooded Americans!

  29. Fatty Bolger

    Fat Mom calls out man who “fat shamed” her in a private text

    A mother wrote an open letter to a man who fat-shamed her on a plane, hoping that he’ll somehow get the message.

    Katie Kiacz published the letter to the anonymous passenger who made snide comments about her body in a text message to a friend on a Tuesday Delta Airlines flight from Orlando to Detroit.

    “Dear Man on flight DL1723,

    “You referred to me as a ‘2-ton woman.’ You told your friend soon as I boarded and you saw me that it was ‘not good.’ When I confronted you saying ‘I am not two tons but I did just have a baby,’ you sighed and got up to use the bathroom then quietly asked the flight attendant for a different seat.”

    “I’m glad there were not any,” she wrote. “I bet you didn’t tell her why you wanted to sit elsewhere, that you said something so heartless and were confronted. You did not apologize. You did not even acknowledge my existence throughout the remainder of the flight. That’s fine. I do not need your validation. So why am I posting? To call you out. Because I do not exist to please you. Because I will take up as much space as I want. Because even when confronted you did not think you were in the wrong, that you did not need to apologize.”

    “I’m glad you had to sit next to me the entire two-hour flight, I’m only sorry I couldn’t take up more space.”

    “As a woman, I am sick of this s***,” Kiack wrote. “Would he have said that had I been a man? Or had my daughter and husband with me? I don’t know. But women deal with these attitudes and behavior more than men, that I do know. And I. Am. Over. It.”

    So she seems nice. Hubby is one lucky man, let me tell ya.

    1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      1) How does crap like this even make the news? How does it come to a reporter’s attention?
      2) I was expecting much larger.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Yeah, is that a recent photo? I too was expecting a much larger lady.

        1. Mad Scientist

          That’s no lady.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s a “Mom” – it says so right there in the headline. Did you notice that she’s a mom? I don’t think the article made that clear enough.

      2. Rhywun

        How does crap like this even make the news?

        It’s the “lifestyle” section – basically where they dump all the recent grads who can “connect with youth” and are eager to “start conversations”. Recent happy events suggest they’re disposable.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Frankly, I was surprised to learn that Yahoo! was still a thing.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Even more surprising, or maybe not, Marissa Mayer is still a thing.

    2. Bob Boberson

      As someone who has been stuck next to when who needed the lap belt extension, several times, I can empathize with this man. I paid for the whole seat, so either compensate me for the 30% that your fat ass is currently occupying or sit elsewhere.

      1. Bob Boberson

        ugh *women who need*

      2. Mad Scientist

        Same here. Buy two seats if you can’t fit into one, chubby. Don’t lean into my seat and figure it’ll all work out.

      3. Bob Boberson

        I was overcome by sadness, and for a moment I was ashamed and self-conscious.

        In bygone days when we didn’t wear our personal failings like a badge of honor, one might have used this shame to motivate them to make a positive change in their lives. Or just said “fuck off, I don’t care what you think” because it doesn’t really effect them.

        In the end this doesn’t matter because I’d bet my next paycheck you can file this one under “things that didn’t happen”

        1. Bob Boberson

          “Because I will take up as much space as I want. Because even when confronted you did not think you were in the wrong, that you did not need to apologize.”

          And so we arrive at the crux of the issue. Your problems don’t stem from the fact that you are fat or oppressed by a thing world, it’s that you are an entitled crybaby who feels that your comfort supersedes the needs of others. Fuck off, slaver.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            “Because I will take up as much space as I want”

            THE FUCK YOU WILL

          2. Mad Scientist

            The nerve of that guy complaining about her wide ass taking up a chunk of his seat! I can’t believe he refused to apologize to her!

          3. Bob Boberson

            This is the same type of person who would claim they should get a double ration of food on a life raft because deep down they know they are hungrier than everyone else and therefore DESERVE more.

    3. So she was reading the guy’s texts?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Shouldn’t have been hard. She was already halfway into his seat.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          [golf clap]

    4. Certified Public Asshat

      You did not even acknowledge my existence throughout the remainder of the flight.

      He sounds like the best person to sit next to on a plane.

      1. Rhywun

        LOL

    5. Drake

      Was the man Al Bundy?

    6. As a news consumer, I am sick of this s***. Your little sob story incident isn’t a news story. Resolve it offline, please. And “Journalists” need to tell people it’s not newsworthy.

    7. Tres Cool

      In all fairness, she’s what Id call ‘petite’.

    8. DenverJ

      “So, you’re reading my texts? Isn’t that like eavesdropping? I just thought you were fat, I didn’t realize that you were also violating my privacy. What the fuck is wrong with you, you fat bitch? Lose some weight and mind your own business!”

    1. Bob Boberson

      Stupidity is a likely culprit but something seems fishy there. Gathering of cops both on and off duty at an apartment for unspecified reasons?…….Cops drive her to the hospital rather than calling in paramedics who might see something they shouldn’t?

      I’m wondering if maybe she knew a little too much and wasn’t towing the blue lion like she aught to.

        1. Bob Boberson

          Hendren has not been arrested and is still being sought.

          Yeah that story is utter bullshit. I’m changing my prognosis from “fishy” to “premeditated murder”

          1. Trigger Hippie

            Damn. Maybe it’s because I just smoked a bowl and I’m not in my usual cynical mood but I hadn’t really considered that. Way to harsh my buzz, man. 😉

          2. Mad Scientist

            That’s pretty funny.

            “Oh, Ron, what do we do now?” he whispered to no one in particular.

          3. Bob Boberson

            “At publishing time, sources had confirmed the method was just as effective as libertarians’ usual political strategies.”

            That made me larf.

          4. Rhywun

            “I had hoped this was Trump’s 4D chess masterstroke to keep the government shut down forever, but it seems he’s a deep state operative just like the rest of them.”

            Get out of my head, Babylon Bee!

          5. Trigger Hippie

            *zen*

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Dammit! Wrong link. Anyways, long story short: they were playing Russian Roulette.

      1. Bob Boberson

        With a semiautomatic?

        1. Spudalicious

          Revolver with one round. Stupid human tricks and the dancing ghost of Darwin.

          1. Bob Boberson

            My joke lands flat yet again.

            /Smiles wryly

          2. Spudalicious

            It’s not that I thought you might have been serious, or anything…

            Okay, I have such low opinion of humanity these days that I actually went and looked to see what weapon was used.

        2. straffinrun

          It works if you only put one bullet in the magazine.

        3. Playa Manhattan

          May as well have been.

          They didn’t spin between pulls.

          St Louis’s finest.

  30. Gustave Lytton

    My favorite of the pink slipped journalists is a chick whose purported highlights is writing about gun violence and the opioid crisis for the past several years. So basically manufacturing shit up and no real reporting at all. I’m sure there’s a home in the Bloomberg organization or some other advocacy group.

  31. Bob Boberson

    Decided to watch “The Burbs” tonight. I’ve seen it too many times but damn, they knew how to make funny movies in the late 80’s.

    1. Chipwooder

      Oooh, haven’t seen that one in a long time. Love Bruce Dern doing a satire of his loony Nam vet characters. “There go the goddamned brownies!”

  32. straffinrun

    Question for Spud: If I light a lady’s fart on fire after having anal sex, will the cum douse the flame or turn into a campfire smore?

    1. Spudalicious

      How much did you have to drink? I need to know the alcohol content of the spooge to make that determination.

      1. straffinrun

        5 Fuzzy navels and a week old burrito supreme I found under the couch.

        1. Spudalicious

          She’s going to go off like a Roman Candle.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            8 times?

          2. Spudalicious

            If Straff is doing it right.

  33. Raven Nation

    Apparently Roger Stone is going to appear on Tucker Carlson’s show tonight. That appears to be a profoundly stupid decision. Does this guy not have a lawyer?

    1. straffinrun

      That or he truly believes he’s going to get pardoned by Trump. Fun times for us in the gallery.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        ‘Pardon anyone and we’ve got him on a slam dunk impeachment!’

        /Democrat wet dreams

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Also

        “We’re gonna need a bigger bowl.”

    2. Sean

      I’m finding his eyebrows very off putting.

      Oh, and he blinks too much.

      *Guilty*