ZARDOZ SATURDAY NIGHT OPEN POST

THE COMMENT IS GOOD!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IN ORDER TO ACCOMMODATE EVERYONE, INCLUDING CHOSEN ONES IN TIME ZONES FAR FROM THAT OF THE VORTEX (CENTRAL US TIME)…ZARDOZ HAS GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF THE OPEN POST. THERE IS NO “OT”, GO FORTH AND POST!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Comments

450 responses to “ZARDOZ SATURDAY NIGHT OPEN POST”

  1. Point Blank is the best Boorman movie

    fight me.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Squeal like pig Hyperbole!

      1. Nephilium

        +1 dueling banjos.

    2. OK…

      I am just here to shitestir.

      1. AlmightyJB

        He got a real pretty mouth ain’t he?

    3. AlmightyJB

      Exorcist II was the worst.

      1. Nephilium

        Did you see Exorcist III? Everything after the first was terrible.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I actually liked III. No comparison to I, but I found Brad Dourif and the storyline to be sufficiently creepy.

          1. Rhywun

            I also liked it. It was much better than II.

        2. Wait….there was an Exorcist 3?!

          1. Nephilium

            There was, I read the book long before seeing the sad version of the movie.

          2. MikeS

            …and there was a 3rd book?!

          3. Rhywun

            I didn’t know there was a 2nd book.

          4. Nephilium

            My childhood was strange. In general I wasn’t allowed to see R rated movies, but my parents learned when I was young that they couldn’t keep up with my reading load. So, in my pre-teens I was reading books all the way up to Stephen King.

          5. Rhywun

            #metoo. I read all my mom’s Stephen King and Dean Koontz handmedowns when I was little.

          6. Nephilium

            Rhywun: A story I’ve heard several times was that my dad was upset about what I was reading. My mom’s response was, “Are you going to keep up with his reading?”

            I’m just annoyed that I wasn’t introduced to Heinlein until after High School.

          7. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, my oldest daughter was into our King and Koontz books pretty early on.

          8. Rhywun

            -1 dad

            No problem for me + the later stepdad didn’t pay the slightest attention to me.

          9. It seems this site has a lot of early readers, and book readers in general, likely far more than the general population on average. We all know high intelligence leads to questioning authority and dogma which naturally leads many to libertarianism. I wonder if early reading also correlates to a libertarian future?

            I will say that I taught my son to read by the time he was 3, and at 16 he’s the President of his school’s entrepreneurs club, he’s way into libertarianism, and as a result wants to major in Economics in college. I do worry that some of his teachers are getting him conflicted on climate change and he is surrounded by Californians and their love of all things Left. So hopefully he goes to college well east of the Rockies.

          10. Nephilium

            C. Anacraon:

            If it helps your research, I taught myself to read at the age of 3, and I’m in the 99% percentile on the IQ side.

            There’s a reason I argue against IQ being used as a point of reference. Looking at my life, I’m able to make due, but if IQ was that important, I should be doing better.

          11. MikeS

            So hopefully he goes to college well east of the Rockies

            I hear Boston University has a Economics program.

          12. Rhywun

            Just steer him right and it doesn’t matter where he goes to college.

          13. So, in my pre-teens I was reading books all the way up to Stephen King.

            *nods in knowing agreement*

            Middle school/Jr high was a bunch of King, Crichton, Clancy, and the like.

          14. Mojeaux

            “Are you going to keep up with his reading?”

            I suspect this is why there was no attempt to monitor my reading.

      2. straffinrun

        The Repossessed. First she took your soul. Now she takes your Escalade.

        1. MikeS

          ALOL

    4. LJW

      Hell In the Pacific… How the hell do you go from Deliverance to Zardoz?

      1. Tejicano

        Hell in the Pacific was cool for the fact that the two actors, portraying combat troops from their respective countries, actually had been combat troops from their respective countries.

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      Point Blank is the best Boorman movie

      +1 Listen, I am an F.

      B.

      I.

      Agent.

          1. Spudalicious

            T

          2. Brochettaward

            You went and ruined everything, MikeS!

  2. But Enough About Me

    Looks like Jussie Smollett’s goose is cooked. TW: ZeroHedge.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Talk about giving someone enough rope to hang themselves.

      1. But Enough About Me

        I’d post that GIF of thunderous applause, but I’m not a Glib Shitlord and don’t have special access to the goodies. Hey ZARDOZ, we all know you’ve got an “in” with the GlibLords — help a brutal out, wouldya?

        SO LET IT BE REQUESTED, SO LET IT BE DONE:

        P.S. YOU ARE NOT “BRUTAL” – YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHOSEN ONES!

        1. That lady with the buck teeth in this gif always seems a bit too happy. I’m guessing Ecstasy.

      2. straffinrun

        +1. Though that joke was INXS.

        1. cyto

          And apparently you just had to let him know.

          1. straffinrun

            You’re one of my kind.

          2. MikeS

            How about me? I’m working on getting elegantly wasted.

          3. Grummun

            my kind

            Spanking it to death?

        2. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

          There’s a devil inside you for saying that.

          1. cyto

            Every single one of us….

          2. Rhywun

            Ugh I’ve given up telling everyone that INXS didn’t suck before that fucking album.

    2. cyto

      I’ll be interested to see how far the mea culpas go. Probably not very far at all. For most of the worst offenders they’ll probably just express anger or disappointment with their buddy, but double down on the truth behind the outrage over the attack.

      Some will no doubt admit that they were wrong…. but I wonder if any at all will be reflective enough to realize that they were part of a racist mob looking to demonize others based on their gender, race and political affiliation. I sincerely doubt it. I doubt they’ll even be able to recognize that the people who were doubting the story didn’t do so because they were racists, but because the story was seriously henke from the jump.

      It had such a fake ring to it. I doubt any white supremacist type has ever said “MAGA country” out loud before that moment. And a little white cord noose? And a tiny bottle of bleach?

      It had the sound of someone who had never met black people trying to say he was accosted by some black guys: “The black men approached me and grabbed their crotches, saying ‘Hey, you white cracker fellow! We Negroes are the best and we are going to get your honky butt!’”

      But if you live in a world where white men (particularly republicans) are super-racist and spend all of their time thinking about how to assault black people, then the fake version sounds super-real to you. Because you are a racist, which means you have a very distorted world view.

      And yes, I’m talking about you, AOC. And Kamala Harris. And Corey Booker. And Savannah Guthrie.

      1. AlmightyJB

        They’ll be no mea culpas. They just won’t talk about it and no one will call them out. If they say anything it will be well this COULD have happened in Trump’s America.

        1. cyto

          That is pretty much what has happened in the Catholic High School Boys case. They just filed it under “truthiness” and moved on.

        2. Akira

          Or they’ll bust out the old “the national conversation about race is important, not this one event”.

          Just like they stuck to the narrative that campus rape is rampant even after the UVA “Jackie” story was exposed as a total fabrication.

          1. Rhywun

            This one, though… I dunno. I’m sensing something different this time. A lot of people are getting sick and tired of this shit & don’t seem to be afraid to say so.

          2. Brochettaward

            I don’t know. I’m hate reading Slate right now and the few lefties showing their faces are claiming that everyone was really skeptical from the start.

            Also, this one made me laugh:

            I guess it’s good that demand for uninhibited criminal Nazi racists exceeds the supply.

          3. Rhywun

            So they’re going to go the lone whacko route. And pretend that this shit isn’t part of a long and increasingly tiresome trend.

            And it’ll fucking work.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        If they didn’t learn to give it a bit of time and not jump to conclusions with the Covington bunch they never will. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for people to acknowledge their mistake if I was you.

        1. Akira

          What’s frustrating to me is that a lot of Lefties will look at you like you’re insane if you express any skepticism at all with what is published on CNN, NYT, etc.

          There are too many incidents where they’ve rushed a story out the door or gotten the facts wrong, and in 100% of cases, the error makes Trump, his associates, or his supporters look bad.

          At this point, I’d say you’re a little nutty if you DO believe what those outlets publish without questioning it at all.

          1. straffinrun

            Smollet should’ve said this MAGA attack happened 30 years ago at a party somewhere and they even rode a train on him.

          2. Brochettaward

            No one would lie about something like that!

      3. cyto

        I particularly focus my ire on people like Savannah Guthrie, because she sat there after having viewed the video of the fake Vietnam Vet Indian Elder incident and pressed the poor kid to apologize – and then carried the hoaxer’s water for him during the follow-on interview, saying, “I don’t think you’ve ever claimed to be a Vietnam Veteran” – all the while knowing full well that he claimed it on his own facebook page, among other places.

        That sort of behavior goes way beyond “biased reporting”. It it sticking a toe pretty far into “blood libel” style propaganda. Particularly when you follow it up with a story with as much questionable content as the Smollette assault. And they were so quick to generalize (in both cases), saying MAGA is a racist symbol, repeatedly and without harboring debate.

        (I will also note that they not only ignored the dozens of actual assaults on Trump supporters in restaurants and other public places, they also severely downplayed the attempted assassination of the Senate Republicans.)

        1. PudPaisley

          Of all the TV reporter / personalities, she’s the one I despise the most. She’s been playing this game for years, and she’s very good at it. She tries to come across as this nice, innocent reporter just asking fair questions, but she always has an agenda. Her very lopsided questioning just seems to be par for the course.

      4. Rhywun

        It’s hard to believe anyone took this seriously after the “You will die black fag” note.

    3. straffinrun

      I still find his story believable. *Give me some slack for the poor quality*

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Pretty brutal.

    4. cyto

      CNN finally running a story about the hoax. Very tepid in reporting that it might be a hoax….. and then proceed to have 80% of the article cut and paste from prior articles defending Smollette and talking about how awful people are who don’t believe him.

  3. Nephilium

    blighted_non_millenial:

    From the last thread. If you’re a cyclist (or live anywhere there’s an MS bike ride), there’s Team Left Hand for the MS bike rides. The CFO and several staff members show up for all the rides, and supply beer for the training rides (and the after party). I rode with them a couple years back for the Buckeye Breakaway (and if I can get some training rides in this year, may ride with them again this year).

  4. LJW

    Illinois factory gunman killed five victims after being fired

    “Martin had bought the gun he used, a .40 caliber Smith & Wesson handgun with a laser sight, in 2014 before authorities realized he had a prior felony conviction, Ziman said.”

    The left has found their next target…. Laser sights.

    1. But Enough About Me

      Odd that their next target wouldn’t be incompetent authorities and crappy processes, policies and procedures, given the info available.

      1. DEG

        “They’re our jackbooted thugs”.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Despite his criminal history, the weapon was lawfully sold to Martin

      No, he purchased it illegally, dumbass. What did he write down on the 4473 questions? I bet the reporters will never dig that fall because they’re pig ignorant of the existing firearms laws in this country.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        And why the fuck, knowing that he was a felon in possession, would they merely send a letter requesting his to relinquish his illegal firearms?

        1. But Enough About Me

          Well, one must be polite, after all.

        2. LJW

          I can see it now, future Democrat confiscations. “Dear “insert gender neutral pronoun”, it has come to our knowledge that you possession fully Semi-Automatic assault rifle. Please turn it in to your nearest law enforcement officer.

        3. Tejicano

          What do you expect? Were they supposed to go out and take it from him? That dude was dangerous. And I bet that there was no evidence he had any dogs to kill.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Yeah, that clause in the Constitution about 4473 really counts,
        WTF?

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    ZardoZ was horrible, but what a fun movie…..
    Fucking nuts

    1. AlmightyJB

      I still haven’t watched it.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        You need to, just for context,
        Horrible movie, that’s why it’s fun

        1. Nephilium

          I recommend a lot of alcohol or other drugs of your choice to watch it.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Twist my arm:)

          2. Nephilium

            /twists AlmightJB’s arm while pouring him a bourbon

          3. DEG

            I’d join you guys in more booze, but I already had beer, and I want to up early tomorrow for some shooting. I’m out. Have a good night everyone!

      2. What Yusef said…for context. I recommend having much alcohol at hand.

        Please don’t hurt me ZARDOZ!

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I’m not afraid of ZardoZ

      3. Pan Zagloba

        It’s worth seeing but I’ll give you a spoiler: it’s probably not the movie you think it is based on most common memes and clips.

        Oh, and floating head with underpants on his head and drawn on mustache narrating at the start of the film is not an edit, that’s really part of the movie.

  6. DEG

    OT: I had good beer tonight.

    1. Still in the process.

      Excellent snowshoeing today. Cold as nuts outside. Hopefully entertaining a nice young lady in a bit.

        1. Disbelief at the snowshoeing, the cold or the young lady?

          1. DEG

            I don’t know what inspired Swiss’s post, but “excellent snowshoeing” does it for me. Just say no to snow.

          2. deadhead

            And yet today was The Quad. It was the most brutal conditions in a long time, but still quite fun if properly prepared.

            So yeah, I did. little snowshoeing today, too.

      1. Negroni Please

        Awesome. I want to get into snowshoeing but I dont know anything about it. Can you point me to avoid rundown on gear and such?

        1. deadhead

          If you can, rent or borrow some gear. Depending on where you are, there may be meetups where you can go with experienced people who will be happy to provide some tips.

          In general, snowshoeing even on a groomed trail is a lot more effort than one would think, which means in addition to everything else, you need to layer up so you can remove layers when you’re moving and put them back on when you’re resting.

        2. Spudalicious

          The best way to snowshoe is to wait until summer and go hiking.

          1. dontreadonme

            Or get some skinny skis. Snowshoes are for old farts.

      2. Grumbletarian

        I like to hike in the summer, but to me snow is for getting on something and sliding down a hill on it, be it a sled, skis or a snowboard.

  7. Silicone Saturday rolls on.

    http://archive.is/vDl0h

    WWZdS?

  8. Now hit my maternal copulation music!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fAQhSRLQnM

    …that didn’t come out exactly as I hoped…

    1. DEG

      That’s a good song.

    2. Chafed

      Is that how you are entertaining the nice young lady?

  9. I like my media gray out because all I have to do is skip a thread here if I feel my blood pressure rising. Gun grabbers frothing again? Hardly registers. Some TDS Hollywood idiot staged a hate crime? Funny, not all consuming.

    The Daily news cycle is where the legacy media still has their tightest grip. I don’t want that den of vipers controlling what I think and when.

    1. Don’t worry Trashy, I’ll work diligently to provide you with the news you need to know.

      https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/dirty-emojis-and-how-to-use-them.html

      1. But Enough About Me

        There really oughta be a “I’ll be in my bunk” emoji, y’know?

      2. AlmightyJB

        I thought the OK symbol was a Nazi gang sign?

      3. Chafed

        Bad linky

    2. straffinrun

      Never ends, does it? I just view it as entertainment and I can’t believe people do otherwise.

    3. Tundra

      My son just sent me a pic of him shooting an M1 somewhere in CO.

      I’m feeling OK about things.

      1. Blammo.

        Gotta meet up sometime when you’re out here.

        1. Tundra

          Will there be guns?

      2. AlmightyJB

        I saw an M1 last Saturday at the gun store. They wanted $1250. I was like you gotta be kidding me.

  10. Tulip

    I’m coming down with a cold or flu. Crap! I don’t need this.

    1. straffinrun

      Is it scratchy throat or chills? I prefer the flu because it doesn’t linger for a month like a cold does.

    2. Tea. Lemon in it.

      Chicken soup – with lemon. Listen to your Greek Grandmother!

    3. DEG

      Black tea, honey, lemon, and whiskey/whisky/Water of Life.

      Get well soon!

      1. Nephilium

        The girlfriend caught something a month ago, and is still coughing all the time. It’s gotten to the point that I’m making her hot toddies just so I can get some sleep.

        1. DEG

          Sorry. I hope she gets over it soon.

          1. Nephilium

            She’s more annoyed that I caught a cough for a day, and then I was over it.

        2. Viking1865

          Has she been to the doctor? Last time I had a cough that lingered for weeks, it was pneumonia.

          1. Nephilium

            Negative. I’ve suggested it a couple of times. She doesn’t like going to the doctor since she is on her own health insurance (which ain’t cheap).

          2. Spudalicious

            I had a friend who did that. When he was finally forced to go to the doctor, he had lost over 20% of his lung capacity and it’s never coming back.

          3. Nephilium

            All right, I’ll give it another couple of days and then force her to go. Last time I forced her to go to a doctor, it turned out nothing was wrong, so it was my fault.

          4. Spudalicious

            Feel free to blame me. She can even come online and rage at me, if she wants.

          5. Tres Cool

            Advise her to announce that she’s “self pay” to the doc. If he/she is compassionate like my non-VA doc is, you get a discount, or at least rack rates.

    4. 61North

      Chug some cough syrup. It’s a win-win situation.

      1. straffinrun

        No joke. Nyquil bombs FTW.

    5. AlmightyJB

      Go get some Sudafed, the good shit you have to show ID for and also some Mucinex DM. Take them. They will help. Also what Swiss said. Hope you feel better:)

    6. Hyperion

      “I’m coming down with a cold or flu. Crap! I don’t need this.”

      Same here. *starts woofing down mass quantities of vitamin C*

    7. Timeloose

      Purple Drank. No coughing and it tastes like jolly ranchers and Fago.

  11. straffinrun

    Spinning a story like Linda Blair’s head.

    Victor Blackwell CNN

    @VictorBlackwell

    If #JussieSmollett orchestrated this scam and claimed he was attacked because he’s black and gay, the real tragedy will be all of the victims of REAL hate crimes whose stories won’t be believed.

    1. LJW

      Like Matthew Shepherd?

      1. LJW

        *Shepard

    2. Rhywun

      So it begins.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      It isn’t telling enough somebody had to fabricate a hate crime to suggest…maybe…this isn’t that common a problem?

      1. Rhywun

        He was just doing us a public service.

  12. Raven Nation

    There is no particular reason for posting this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0QTBAWc3tM

  13. KSuellington

    “The fact that Jussie Smollett felt he had to stage an attack on himself in order to call attention to the rise in homophobia and attacks against people of color is a sad indictment on the division and hate that the Trump presidency has brought to this country. While Jussie may have been terribly misguided in his efforts, we should not allow this to blind ourselves to the culpability of the President in this odious rise of white nationalism and violence against historically marginalized groups. Despite the efforts of the extreme right to draw attention to this rare instance of a fake hate crime, we should not let this single unfortunate incident distract us from the growing threat of racially motivated violence, especially directed at gay and trans people.”

    1. MikeS

      SMDH.

      What fucktard wrote that?

      1. Rhywun

        I’m guessing KSue wrote that.

        1. MikeS

          Ah. Well, yeah. And just to be clear, when I say “fucktard”, I mean “world class satirist”.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s scarily spot-on.

          2. MikeS

            It really is. I just figured KSue forgot the link. Well done!

      2. KSuellington

        Just doing my impression of what some lefty writers are conjuring up as we speak. If my current biz fails maybe I can get a job at Slate for minimum wage.

        And yes, PZ, I think your edit works better.

        1. Hyperion

          It was good. I fell for it. It was so close to what a lefty writer would actually say, it’s scary. You’re starting to think like them. Next thing we know, your avatar will be Chairman Mao.

          1. Chafed

            I completely bought it. Don’t be surprised when Slate swipes it.

          2. Yes, you ought to copyright that while you still can. Probably already going out to the Journo-List.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Replace “the fact” with “even if” and you can get 10,000 retweets.

      1. Rhywun

        I still giggle at your avatar. It looks like a truck driver at regular zoom.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          MAGA Prime makes truckers of us all.

    3. Hyperion

      “The fact that Jussie Smollett felt he had to stage an attack on himself”

      Yep, he totally HAD TO. /derp

    1. 61North

      I need a .454 or .460 before bear season

      1. AlmightyJB

        Nice thing about the .454 is it shoots the .45 Colt as well.

        1. 61North

          I stupidly turned down a Ruger .454 with 100 rounds for $700 about 8 years ago from a coworker who was moving to the lower 48.

          Ah, the folly of youth.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Dammit!

        1. AlmightyJB

          I need my wrist.

          1. Spudalicious

            That’s why my Mossberg Shockwave is a 20ga.

          2. Tejicano

            Use both hands. Fire from the hip or in the same position as a regular shotgun with a buttstock.

          3. Spudalicious

            You don’t have arthritis, do you?

        2. 61North

          I have the short barrel 870 with big game slugs, but this looks more fun.

    2. Timeloose

      I was at the gun shop today and had to convince myself that I didn’t need a M4 M16 style colt. He wanted a bit too much for it but I always wanted one.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        When I want another gun I just buy a brick instead: totally satisfying purchase, and you know you’ll shoot it some time.

    3. Raston Bot

      A big pistol cartridge that also has a few rifle options where you can load 10 in the tube appeals to me. And swapping in some 44spl is a nice option.

  14. AlmightyJB

    AOC memes. From about the 40 second mark to the 2:15 mark. Pretty funny.

    https://youtu.be/pkKyVjjDaOY

    1. But Enough About Me

      God, what a moron. She and Justin Trudeau (The Hair That Walks Like A Man™) should have babies. The resulting spawn would be epically entertaining.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Is Beto going to be our Zoolander?

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Obama was your Zoolander.

      2. Rhywun

        But so dreamy.

        1. AlmightyJB

          The Kennedy comparisons are going to be nauseating. The liberal chicks will vote for him though. For all of their feminist talk, they will still vote for a young guy over a chick every time.

      3. 61North

        Have Olivia Chow be the surrogate for maximum stupidity in the kids.

        1. But Enough About Me

          Ooooooh, that’s a good idea!

          You’re brilliant.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Has the porn industry come up with a lookalike for her yet?

      1. But Enough About Me

        When porn actors can’t bring themselves to do something that debasing, that’s what Deep Fakes are for.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Yes, horse porn has been around for decades.

        1. 61North

          Goddamn

    3. Hyperion

      AOC is the new blond joke.

  15. straffinrun

    Is it good news that this racist attack never happened or is it bad news that it never happened? I need Bag o’ Dicks Stelter to let me know what to think.

    1. Rhywun

      I’ll let you watch & you can report back to us.

    2. Brochettaward

      A bad thing. We need more racists and Nazis. Demand has grossly outstripped the supply.

      I guess it’s good that demand for uninhibited criminal Nazi racists exceeds the supply.

    3. Nephilium

      It’s bad because it shows how racist we are that people feel the need to stage attacks to let us know how racist we are.

      Sorry, but even after drinking a lot it makes no sense to me.

  16. Brochettaward

    One aspect of the Smolett thing that also should have drawn suspicion – how quickly TMZ picked up on all of it.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      An actor? Isn’t that TMZ’s wheelhouse?

      1. Brochettaward

        Yea. But this isn’t a relative nobody who made these claims at 2 in the morning on a Monday. It was almost 3 by the time the cops were involved. TMZ had this almost right away from the manager.

  17. Chafed

    Is it grounds for divorce if your wife accepts an invitation to a bar mitzvah but sends you alone to the reception because she is playing in a tennis tournament? Asking for a friend.

    1. Nephilium

      It depends on the alcohol selection at the bar mitvah, and if ((you)) are chosen.

      /suffered through a bar mitzvah as a goy

      1. Chafed

        (((I))) am chosen. I’m also way beyond pissed off. I told wifey I had no interest in going. Taking child 2 to the ceremony was not a problem. I agreed to take her to this evening’s reception and pick up said spawn. Told wife, I don’t know these people. I’m not interested in going. Through her fantastically selective hearing, she hears, “let’s all go.” Reception started at 5:30. She called spawn 2 to tell her she will be here at 8:15.

        Oh, and it’s a cash bar. I had spawn 2’s bat mitzvah reception last month. We paid for the bar. Don’t serve alcohol to guests and expect them to pay for it.

        1. Nephilium

          So the one I had to go to had an open bar, but it had a limited selection. They had picked up all of 24 beers for all of the people there. The staff liked me because I through down a tip for every drink (which apparently was a faux pas).

          If you really want a story I’ll tell you about the time the girlfriend’s parents friends were upset that my parents (Catholic) didn’t show up for Shiva.

          1. Chafed

            I’ll bet that went over like a lead balloon.

          2. Nephilium

            I spent the entire week showing up at Shiva (twice), and explaining to the people upset with me that my family was Catholic. In our culture showing up to the event without an explicit invitation is offensive as hell. ((They)) didn’t quite grasp this until I explained that in Catholicism, you go to the funeral, but never show up at the family gathering afterwords.

          3. Chafed

            You were in an impossible situation. If there is a next time, tell your parents shiva is like a wake with better food but little or no alcohol.

          4. CPRM

            like a wake with better food but little or no alcohol

            What? Next thing you’ll say there is no funeral ham…You bastards!

          5. Nephilium

            Oh, I stood up for my family and made it very clear that in the Catholic faith showing up to the funeral is for everyone, but showing up to the dinner afterwards is something that you need to be explicitly invited to.

            I believe I actually managed to reverse guilt ((them)) with my explanation.

          6. Chafed

            You must be one persuasive SOB.

    2. straffinrun

      Use it as an opportunity to earn some good will points.

      1. Chafed

        Gratitude has a very short half life in my home.

        Fuck. I know you are right but I am seething.

    3. Brochettaward

      Divorce means she gets half of your (((gold))).

      1. Chafed

        That reminds me of the old joke: you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it.

  18. Spudalicious

    Woof. French Onion Soup and Caesar salad tonight. Elysium Dragon’s Tooth stout on the side. Now on to whiskey.

    1. Nephilium

      Alright, just need to speak up and mention that Elysium is part of AB-InBev at this point.

      Unrelated, how is your home brew coming along?

      1. Spudalicious

        Superb. My first batch is pretty darned good. I did overcarbonate a little, in that I used enough honey for a gallon of beer but only had six pints. I drank my third one today.

        Cream Ale is two weeks in and the Galaxy single hop is in the closet.

        I have an article in that publishes Wednesday night.

        1. Nephilium

          Glad to hear it. I look forward to your article, and hope you enjoy the new hobby.

      2. MikeS

        just need to speak up and mention that Elysium is part of AB-InBev at this point

        I’m curious; why?

        1. Nephilium

          Terrible habit I have of knowing who owns which brewery.

          Elysium is one that is burned into my brain because they sold out the same year AB-InBev did a commercial mocking the craft beer drinkers. Think of my as that autistic guy who can rattle off squares whenever someone mentions a number… but for beer.

          1. MikeS

            No, I get that. Just curious why it would matter who owns them.

          2. Nephilium

            For me it’s because I try to support the independents in the brewery world. I understand the reasons for selling out, and I don’t dislike the owners (with the exceptions of people like McGee from Lagunitas) for their decisions to sell out. I prefer open knowledge and stick with those who that I know haven’t sold out.

          3. MikeS

            Fair enough. And I get it. While I support local breweries as much as possible, I’m not going to not drink a certain beer just because the owner got a fat payday from one of the conglomerates. Life’s too short.

          4. Nephilium

            MikeS: I have never complained about someone else drinking a beer, but I believe in full knowledge. I do avoid beers that I know went the sellout route, and prefer to purchase beers from the breweries (in Ohio, they get a much larger cut of the profits that way).

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          No longer an independent brewer. Their beer now contains soy protein and corn syrup.

          1. Spudalicious

            Corn syrup?!? REEEEEE!!!

          2. Just don’t mention Demi Rose.

          3. Spudalicious

            The fat Bristish chick?

    2. Rhywun

      Homemade beef stroganoff. Heavenly, aside from a couple glitches that are easily corrected for next time.

      1. Spudalicious

        I love a good stroganoff.

      2. Mojeaux

        My son has been on my back to make stroganoff.

        1. Rhywun

          First time I ever did it from scratch instead of a box. You can really taste the absence of chemicals.

          1. Mojeaux

            I’ve only had it from a box maybe 3-4 times. When the first line of the instructions is “brown 1 pound of ground beef,” it’s not the meal for us.

            *takes out 4 pounds of beef from the freezer*

            I will admit I like Tuna Helper, though I haven’t had it in years.

      3. MikeS

        One of my favorite dishes. Did you use ground beef or strips?

        1. Mojeaux

          I do not like stroganoff in strips or cubes.

          Speaking of beef strips, though, I do like SOS.

          1. Rhywun

            I do not like stroganoff in strips or cubes.

            How do you like it?

          2. Mojeaux

            Ground beef.

          3. Rhywun

            Other than burgers, I can’t make anything with ground beef without overcooking the fuck out of the beef.

          4. CPRM

            That’s hamburger stroganoff, which hilariously some cooking shows were passing off as a new thing this last year. Yeah, that’s what you make when you can’t do beef stroganoff.

          5. Mojeaux

            People may laugh, but there’s an art to this. You have to tend it, but it only takes a few minutes.

            Put it in the skillet and use a fork to mash mash mash like you’re mashing potatoes. It’ll take about 5 minutes to get the bottom half brown. While it’s still red on top, salt the living hell out of it. Mash some more for about 2-3 minutes so that there’s barely any red left. Then take it off the heat and drain it.

            The residual heat will cook it the rest of the way through. I find this is a relatively consistent quality to properly cooking things (especially pork): Cook it almost all the way through and then let the residual heat finish it up.

          6. Nephilium

            No cottage pie?

          7. Mojeaux

            Yeah, that’s what you make when you can’t do beef stroganoff.

            No, it’s what you do when you don’t like cubed or stripped meat.

          8. CPRM

            drain it.

            Where the hell are all these recipes that call for ‘draining’ beef fat from? Now wonder Fatburgs are a thing with sick freaks like that out there.

          9. MikeS

            that’s what you make when you can’t do beef stroganoff.

            Ground beef isn’t beef?

          10. Mojeaux

            Where the hell are all these recipes that call for ‘draining’ beef fat from? Now wonder Fatburgs are a thing with sick freaks like that out there.

            Dude, I said drain it. I didn’t say to drain it over the garbage disposal.

          11. CPRM

            Ground beef is hamburger. I didn’t make the language, I just speak it.

          12. l0b0t

            Beef (and bacon) drippings are wonderful for cooking eggs or just spread on toast.

          13. CPRM

            Dude, I said drain it. I didn’t say to drain it over the garbage disposal.

            Where do you freaks drain it? And I’ve never been in a house with a ‘garbage disposal’ that’s to neuvo riche.

          14. MikeS

            Hamburger isn’t beef?

          15. MikeS

            Drain it into the empty cream of mushroom soup tin and when it cools, throw it in the garbage.

          16. Akira

            I think my butcher shop incorporates meat trimmings into their ground beef, which means that the fat content varies.

            When I’m browning some beef and notice that there’s more fat than I want in the dish, I’ll pour it off into a cup and freeze it. It’s great for frying steaks, and I’ve even melted it down and put it in bread dough before.

          17. Mojeaux

            Where do you freaks drain it?

            Tin cans. Put in freezer until trash day. Throw out with trash.

          18. CPRM

            Hamburger isn’t beef?

            *insert SAMJACKSON.GIF* ‘English Motherfucker, do you speak it!?’ Ground Beef is beef. But beef Stroganoff is made with cuts of beef, if it’s made with ground beef, it’s called hamburger Storganoff. English is a bastard language, I didn’t make the rules, but I’m a damn sure I make sure yall muthafuckers follow them!

          19. Rhywun

            I used to drain it into a coffee can on top of the fridge. Got tired of the stink. Freezer sounds better.

            These days I soak it up in a paper towel and toss it.

          20. CPRM

            Tin cans. Put in freezer until trash day. Throw out with trash.

            But, why not leave it in the food where God intended it to be? Do you hate God?! (and your tastebuds?)

          21. CPRM

            Next thing all you heathens will say is you eat a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich with the jelly on top!

          22. MikeS

            Never EVER heard it called “Hamburger Stroganoff”. You sure are particular about the semantics of beef dishes.

          23. CPRM

            All Recipes

            Simple Recipes I’d go on, but then I’d get tagged as spam, which I guess you’d still be fine with putting in Stroganoff, NoDak!

          24. MikeS

            I guess I just didn’t grow up as rich as you where we could put steak in our stroganoff. Good for you ‘sconie.

          25. CPRM

            I guess I just didn’t grow up as rich as you where we could put steak in our stroganoff. Good for you ‘sconie.

            If growing up rich is mom buying the ‘expires tomorrow’ stew meat and making beef stroganoff, then I feel for you. We ate plenty of hamburger stroganoff as well.

          26. MikeS

            We had lots of beef stroganoff….sometimes made with stew beef, sometimes made with ground beef.

          27. CPRM

            So, sometimes you had beef stroganoff, and sometimes you had hamburger strogonoff. that’s fine. I even made chicken stroganoff once. (my mom grew up the daughter of a butcher, it took her a while to realize not all meat had to be over-cooked to be safe for human consumption ((the whole cobbler’s son has no shoes thing)))

          28. MikeS

            What kind of chicken stroganoff? Ground chicken stroganoff? Dark meat chicken stroganoff? Apparently it matters.

          29. CPRM

            If there is a different word for ground chicken, I’ll gladly use it where appropriate.

          30. MikeS

            I’m going to bed. You win.

          31. Gustave Lytton

            I like SOS with ground beef, but stroganoff needs strips.

          32. l0b0t

            When I was wee, my grandfather would often take me for breakfast at the Officer’s Club at Homestead AFB; their SOS was magnificent and triggered my lifelong of it.

          33. Rhywun

            What the hell is “SOS”…?

          34. mikey

            SOS is what the AF does best. It’s really great.

          35. Mojeaux

            Chipped Beef on Toast, aka “shit on a shingle.”

          36. Rhywun

            Jesus. That looks like a bad night out, the next morning.

          37. Mojeaux

            Not very flavorful, but sticks to your ribs. Also, cheap.

          38. Rhywun

            *googles*

            Dried beef.

            Huh. I can’t believe that wasn’t part of the rotation in my house when I was a kid. We ate cheap, believe me.

          39. l0b0t

            Sigh… growing up on a sailboat rendered me with an insatiable love of both chipped beef (beef in a jar, so salty it must soak for a spell before use) and canned brown bread (B&M makes a decent storebought version but mom always made ’em in big batches).

        2. Rhywun

          Chunks of stew beef (I think chuck?) sliced into 1/4″ strips. One of my mistakes was it needed more than 15 minutes in the pressure cooker.

        3. Rhywun

          The boxed shit always calls for ground beef. And if you follow the instructions, you wind up with overcooked flavorless mush. Now that I know better, I can’t imagine ever using ground beef for anything other than a proper hamburger again.

      4. CPRM

        Wait, there non-homemade stroganoffs?

        1. Rhywun

          Hamburger Helper helps your hamburger help you make a great meal.

          1. CPRM

            Look at you with your Brand Name meat helper. I’m so sick of you rich bastards!

      5. Akira

        Awesome.

        I made some stroganoff from scratch years and years ago. Came out awesome even though my culinary skill was maybe a 5/10 at that point in history. Stroganoff is one of the few places where I can tolerate mushrooms, also.

        1. Rhywun

          I *hated* mushrooms until I was around 35. Now… cooked properly, I can’t even.

          1. Akira

            Yea, when I was a little kid, I ate a can of mushroom soup and then got sick, and I couldn’t stand them for a long time. I finally got sick of avoiding them, so one night I bought a box of mushrooms, fried them in butter, and forced myself to eat every single one of them. I think most of the time, these food aversions are not as bad as we imagine them to be.

            They’re still not my favorite, but I don’t have to avoid dishes at restaurants just because they contain mushrooms. Some stuffed portobellas with pizza-like toppings actually sound kind of good…

          2. CPRM

            a box of mushrooms

            Is that a thing?

          3. Rhywun

            When I was a 16-year-old exchange student living in Germany, the high school principle one day invited all the sister-city kids to his house, current visitors and next year’s kraut-kids going away. Lunch was – I shit you not – a plate with a pile of mushrooms on it. I can’t imagine what possessed someone to think that was an appropriate meal for a teenager. Everyone was politely pushing and prodding them around for an hour or more.

          4. Nephilium

            I still don’t like mushrooms. And I’ve tried things that I disliked in the past every couple of years to make sure I still don’t like it.

          5. Rhywun

            I still have lots of other food phobias. Like most seafood. I don’t know if I’ll ever conquer that one.

          6. Nephilium

            I’ve made it a point to try things I don’t like every year. I’ve yet to find an item that actually breaks my dislike.

  19. MikeS

    I have one to Give Scruffy a run for his money.

    Letters to the local rag; A new light:

    To the editor,

    A new light shines in the political heavens. Her name is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC). Representing New York City in the U.S House of Representatives, she calls herself a Democratic Socialist.

    The term “socialist” scares people. Yet most of us feel quite comfortable with public high schools, the Post Office, Medicare, Social Security, and the U.S. military. All are examples of socialism.

    The real question is how much socialism do we want? AOC values entrepreneurship and free markets. She also values a number of ideas from social democracies in Europe. Consider four of her policy proposals:

    ■ Medicare for all.

    ■ Free college tuition.

    ■ A Green New Deal ending fossil fuel use by 2035. Cosponsored by AOC and Massachusetts Sen. Ed Markey, this bill would be a massive economic stimulus that creates jobs in every city in America. Private enterprise will make it happen if the government will do two things: impose a high tax on fossil fuels and build a new electrical grid.

    ■ Repeal the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. Replace it with a tax code that helps the middle class and weakens the oligarchic power of billionaires.

    We can afford these programs if we change our priorities. We can cut defense. We can end corporate and fossil fuel subsidies. We can tax speculative trading in stocks and derivatives. We can tax the top income bracket at 70 percent, as we did in the booming decades after World War II. We might even consider Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s idea of taxing wealth as well as income.

    Consider also that by reducing inequality, these ideas would spark economic growth, creating more taxpayers and a larger pool of taxable income.

    If we will it, we can do it. We can build a system in which all can thrive, a system that is fairer and freer than the current one. To accomplish that, we need to support key government programs and limit the wealth of plutocrats who, since 1980, have expropriated most real income gains while middle class incomes have flatlined.

    1. mindyourbusiness

      There is too much stupid here. I am covered in stupid.

      1. Spudalicious

        Don’t get it in your eyes. It goes straight through to your brain.

    2. Raphael

      No, we can’t and never could afford all the things AOC and these “democratic” socialists ask for. The only thing that will be “fairer” will be the state of misery, poverty, and unemployment a vast number of people will experience from those policies. AOC is no angel sent by God Himself, she is just another human being like us except with a childish idealism and a hyper-inflated sense of self-righteousness and moral superiority. Also for graduating with a degree in Economics, she doesn’t seem to even understand the basics.

      1. Akira

        Also for graduating with a degree in Economics, she doesn’t seem to even understand the basics.

        The fact that a college handed her a piece of paper is a scathing endictment of the American college system.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      We can tax the top income bracket at 70 percent, as we did in the booming decades after World War II

      Are we going to firebomb Germany, Italy, France, and most of England, or do we just get to sit and watch them do it to each other this time?

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Forward, comrades, to progress!

    5. mikey

      “Yet most of us feel quite comfortable with public high schools, the Post Office, Medicare, Social Security, and the U.S. military. All are examples of socialism.”

      Yeah I want my life to be a combination of High School, the Post Office, Medicare and the Army. They forgot the DMV

    6. Viking1865

      Squirting blood out of my eyes before I got to the bullet points.

      I’m not saying Pinochet was a good guy, but holy shit I’d rather live under his rule than the person who wrote that letter. She would gaze upon a pyramid of human skulls and would sleep like a baby when the Party’s man assured her that all 50,000 of the skulls belonged to a capitalist wrecker who wished to overturn the People’s Revolution.

      1. Chipwooder

        Like I’ve said in a previous thread, while I’m not saying Pinochet should have thrown people from helicopters, the more I know people like the letter writing idiot, the more I understand it.

    7. Rhywun

      Someone’s angling for a position at Slate.

    8. Akira

      The term “socialist” scares people. Yet most of us feel quite comfortable with public high schools, the Post Office, Medicare, Social Security, and the U.S. military. All are examples of socialism.

      The cost of government-run K-12 education has doubled since 1970 while results have declined or remained stagnant.

      The USPS was founded when the country had wide swaths of land that was hazardous to cross. It’s an absurd anachronism in the era of UPS, FedEx, DHL, and the countless other companies that would gladly fill the void were the USPS abolished tomorrow.

      Medicare and SS are barreling towards insolvency at breakneck speed.

      The US military eats up a colossal portion of our budget and has committed countless human rights abuses.

      Sorry, I’m just not seeing why these are examples of socialist success stories.

  20. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Harvard op-ed calling for the removal of a dean for defending Harvey Weinstein in court:

    https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2019/2/13/mudannayake-ryan-remove-sullivan/

    Is dain bramage a prerequisite for for Harvard admission now?

  21. straffinrun

    JFC. Just got a call from my brother warning me that my sisters have been trashing me on FB. I forgot my password about a half a year ago and figured that I’d just use that as the opportunity to drop that garbage all together. Evidently my nephew came out as gay at around the same time, so my sisters deduced that was the reason I left FB. They’ve been telling all my relatives that I’m some homophobe and that I hate God. Total shit show. *Steaming pissed right now*

    1. Nephilium

      Damn man. There’s a reason I’ve never joined Facebook. I did have some great fun my my niece went to see a Glee musical with the girlfriend and thought I would be upset when if she bought an “I kissed a girl” shirt. The niece was disappointed when she learned I would be all for her liking girls.

      1. straffinrun

        That’s the other wrinkle to this fucking story. My sister came out as a lesbian about 10 years ago and my conservative brothers didn’t accept her decision. I sent her a long message on FB saying that it doesn’t matter what they think and I’m glad she’s finding happiness. She goes and does this shit now? Gotta be fucking kidding me. Sorry for the swearing, but I’m still fuming.

        1. MikeS

          Are we supposed to apologize for swearing? Because, fuck…I have a lot of atoning to do.

          1. Spudalicious

            Shit Mike, watch you’re fucking mouth, would ya?

        2. Nephilium

          No apologies necessary. Feel free to rant and vent at me all you need/want to.

          The niece has wound up being heterosexual, and I approve of the current boyfriend. She still has issues trying to realize that I’m unwoke, but don’t care about sexual preference.

          1. Brochettaward

            Look, if you mention your sexually confused and curious niece, you know where this is going. We shouldn’t even have to ask.

          2. She wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on earth.

          3. Brochettaward

            That’s irrelevant. She still can’t escape my male gaze.

          4. MikeS

            Way to assume it’s gender, shitlord!

          5. Viking1865

            “She wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on earth.”

            The classic retort to that: “If I was the last man on Earth, you wouldn’t even be allowed in the line.”

          6. Nephilium

            Feel free to gaze at her.

            Me, her boyfriend, and her father will be there waiting to talk to you afterwards.

        3. Tejicano

          Really sorry to hear that. I guess people who live like their phone it surgically attached because they have to stay in touch with everything on their FB account have a list of actions which have one and only one possible explanation. I have a sister like that and we have grown further apart because she lives on that plane if existence.

      2. Rhywun

        There’s a reason I’ve never joined Facebook.

        Did you really know at the time everyone was joining what a shitshow it was going to turn into? That’s impressive.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      How can you the gays, your a Glib?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Wow, how can you tell, we are Glibs

    3. Just text them “this is why women shouldn’t be allowed to vote” and block their numbers.

    4. Spudalicious

      And no contact with you about it?

      I must have a unicorn family. We’ve had our spats over the years but it’s always been a frontal assault. And we’re a hell of a good time when we get together. Just ask us.

      1. straffinrun

        None. I’m done with them both. Assholes. My wife, who is the epitome of the polite-to-all-relatives Japanese person, thinks they are insane, so I’ve got that going for me.

        1. Your wife probably thinks all gaijin are insane.

        2. Spudalicious

          Huh. I have a neice that came out 20 years ago. As long as she’s happy, I’m thrilled. I have strong suspicions that my 27 y/o son is gay. A true Constitutional Conservative is the most tolerant person you’ll meet, but closed minded proggies will never understand that.

          Sorry to hear that, dude. At least you have an ocean between you.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            The guitar playing one?

          2. Spudalicious

            Yep. Not once have I heard mention of a girlfriend and he goes into the city one or two evenings a week.

          3. Old Man With Candy

            Well, that settles it.

          4. CPRM

            Wait, am I your nephew?

          5. straffinrun

            Huh? OMWC wasn’t doing a euphemism?

          6. Rhywun

            he goes into the city one or two evenings a week

            LOL

            My mom once gave me a “so is there… anyone special?” during a college visit back home. I knew she was fishing for it but no way was I going to spill the beans.

            I was, in fact, going through a breakup at the time….

          7. CPRM

            My mom once gave me a “so is there… anyone special?” during a college visit back home.

            I remember, I was maybe 20 or so, my dad made a joke about me dating some girl and my mom said something like ‘I don’t think he’s worried about that kind of thing.’ And this was a straight guys parents talking just because I wasn’t dating.

          8. Spudalicious

            Hey, it’s his life. If I’m right, it’s his choice to tell me, or not.

          9. 61North

            I’m in my mid-30’s and have a friend that the rest of us are 100% sure is gay but never bring it up. Well, except for the time one friend got drunk and straight up asked him and he got really mad. The guy who asked him has a brother who is gay and the guy doesn’t care either way about his brother’s sexuality.

            I hope the guy finds peace with whatever his orientation is.

          10. Akira

            Freshman year of high school, one of our friends came out as gay. He actually seemed a little disappointed that we didn’t care at all and continued hanging out with him as normal.

          11. Rhywun

            I’ve mentioned this before, but that was just not done in my time and place (Rochester, late 80s). That changed very quickly, though – quicker than I ever expected. I could see it in progress during my senior year.

          12. 61North

            It’s wild. If we didn’t like you for being gay, then you wouldn’t be at bachelor parties, guy weekends (gayyyyyy), or beers afterwork.

            We really don’t care. All we’re going to do is make Grindr jokes instead of Tinder jokes that we do for the straight guys.

      2. Nephilium

        I’ve got a younger sister, and a pile of cousins. Watching people back off from me and my sister when we were talking at a local bar because they were afraid of bloodshed entertained me. I also got to watch my niece get pissed when she found out her mother had used pot in her youth.

        1. Rhywun

          I also got to watch my niece get pissed when she found out her mother had used pot in her youth.

          Am I so far gone that I don’t get this at all? Like, why would she be pissed?

          1. Nephilium

            She was pissed because her mom had yelled at her for using pot a couple years back.

            I tried to diffuse it by pointing out that her mom cared less about her using pot then her getting arrested for having pot in her possession.

    5. Brochettaward

      Whenever you get back into your account, let them know that as a libertarian you stand for three things. Mexicans, weed, and ass sex.

    6. AlmightyJB

      That sucks dude, I’d be pissed too.

    7. Raphael

      That’s messed up and sorry they’re giving you shit especially after reading your follow-up comment too. What a bunch of assholes.

    8. MikeS

      I’m some homophobe and that I hate God.

      What? I’m not sure what one has to do with the other.

      And that really sucks, man. Hopefully a couple phone calls can clear it all up.

      1. straffinrun

        They’re left wing Christians. I don’t get it either.

    9. Viking1865

      “They’ve been telling all my relatives that I’m some homophobe and that I hate God.”

      “. My sister came out as a lesbian about 10 years ago and my conservative brothers didn’t accept her decision. I sent her a long message on FB saying that it doesn’t matter what they think and I’m glad she’s finding happiness.”

      Wait so…..your lesbian sister is accusing you of being both a homophobe and a Godless heathen?

      1. Spudalicious

        -1 Methodists.

        1. CPRM

          +1 Johnny Cash ‘and the guy in the rear, was a Methodist’

        2. Viking1865

          “-1 Methodists.”

          Oh yup. Love my Nana and my cousins on that side to death, but they truly seem to believe that Hillary Clinton was a present from above, not a curse from below.

    10. Timeloose

      That’s F’ed up.

      I’m contemplating getting off of Facebook for just this reason.

      I’m on Facebook but don’t post anything. I’m only there to keep in touch with my huge family.

    11. CPRM

      My liberal sister-in-law had a very obviously gay brother. When he finally came out to his liberal family they were shocked. My conservative/libertarian family was like ‘you couldn’t tell?’

      But yeah, it sucks when people read intent into actions that was never there. Had something similar when I turned 30 and sent a message to my siblings that was meant to say ‘I’m taking care of our crippled dad, so you don’t feel the burden, so go and live up to your potential.’ That my siblings took as ‘fuck you for not doing what I’m doing!’

      1. straffinrun

        Mind reading is the worst. At least make the mistake and give me good intentions. I just took a shower and am enjoying a beer at 12:30 pm. Feeling much better.

      2. Viking1865

        ” ‘I’m taking care of our crippled dad, so you don’t feel the burden, so go and live up to your potential.’ That my siblings took as ‘fuck you for not doing what I’m doing!’

        Guilt causes people to lash out.

        1. CPRM

          Or an autist’s understanding of the world clashing with FB post culture.

          1. Viking1865

            Yeah of all the things I don’t miss about Facebook, the vaguebooking is up there on the list.

            “Feeling blessed today, because today I learned who my true friends are.”

          2. hayeksplosives

            Vaguebooking.

            Perfect term for it. I have a number of FB “friends” who post mysterious shit they are dying to be publicly asked about. I never take the bsit.

    12. Hyperion

      “They’ve been telling all my relatives that I’m some homophobe and that I hate God.”

      They know you’re on Glibs, don’t they? Homophobe, hates God… did they forget Islamaphobe, closet Trumpist, and Russian stooge?

    1. Brochettaward

      I would have gone with Buffalo Boondoggle.

    2. Rhywun

      This has been a slow-motion train-wreck for years and years. Whatever happened this week is just an asterisk. Though it never hurts to be reminded what a fucking fraud Cuomo is.

    3. Suthenboy

      ‘Green Jobs’ in a nutshell.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    I can’t stand posting from a phone, my Son needs to leave, that’s the nice way of putting it

    1. AlmightyJB

      I post 99% from my phone.

  23. CPRM

    Gosh darn, I have internet problems for a couple of days and you bastards go and ban someone without putting me on the tribunal!? And did no one wonder if I was dead?! I could have been…working internet and beer, all is good with the world. What was the score or the Cal game?

    1. MikeS

      Cal 184 / Wisc -69

      1. CPRM

        Fucking Badgers. Good thing I’m a UNLV Alum.

        1. Badgers?

          That’s the west Indonesia supplemental college, the fighting gangrene infection

    2. Spudalicious

      You were gone?

    3. Raphael

      Welcome back, was worried about my fellow priest.

      1. CPRM

        I was not defrocked. Nor was I frocked, I guess…

        1. Raphael

          They didn’t do any frocking in the old days either, no worries.

          1. CPRM

            Is Catholic trademarked? Can we usurp it from by calling ourselves Universal Catholics? (one of my favorite forms of humor is redundancy ((like one of my favorite jokes I ever wrote, a character saying he had a ‘terrible thirst for liquids’)), Catholic means Universal, or so I was told)

          2. Raphael

            I do not believe the Roman Catholic Church has actually trademarked it yet. This might actually work.

          3. CPRM

            I think starting off with ‘no sex before marriage’ thing might be a turn off for some, so can we do a tierd marriage system? You can be ‘unioned’ if you haven’t followed all the rules, but only ‘married’ if you followed all the rules (or paid the extortion)?

          4. Raphael

            I don’t know about those “exortions” my man. I think we should call them “indulgences” or “donations” instead.

    4. hayeksplosives

      I didn’t think you were dead, just figured you were judging someone for your overblown perception of their personal sins.

      1. Mojeaux

        Like draining hamburger…

        1. MikeS

          Or calling it beef stroganoff when you used ground beef.

      2. CPRM

        That I was. But I never hold it against anyone. My fucked up morality is my problem. I never want it to carry the weight of law.

        1. hayeksplosives

          And i am now having to admit I still had a small grudge about how you lectured me on this site for working with (actually being the boss of) a guy I had a fling with years ago before we even worked for the same company.

          Honestly don’t know why it bothered me so much that you got on my case. Maybe I am over sensitive to judgments especially in my love life.

          BTW, Mr Splosives and I had a fantastic 12th Valentines Day together.

          1. CPRM

            I never meant that in a condescending way, I was trying to grasp the situation, and watch out for you. No judgment intended on my part. I’m always that ‘are you sure you wanna do this?’ guy.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Peace.

    1. Rhywun

      OFFS

      1. straffinrun

        Here’s another one where you can use the same response.

        https://twitter.com/4danlopez/status/1096984266368602117

        1. Rhywun

          Double down! That always works.

        2. Spudalicious

          This one deserves much mocking.

        3. l0b0t

          Jussie really should have listened to the LDS.

          1. Spudalicious

            Yeah, but Karma bit Munson hard.

            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fg3qj5I-28A

    2. Spudalicious

      Why again, aren’t the Japanese procreating?

    3. Raphael

      A clip from the stream over here, enjoy my fellow Glibs. The glorious evolution of video game jiggle physics™.

      https://www.twitch.tv/evo/clip/VastProudMomSmoocherZ?filter=clips&range=7d&sort=time

    4. Gustave Lytton

      I have no idea what most/ all of that is, but I support this wholeheartedly:

      had Japanese gravure idols Yuka Kuramochi and Saki Yoshida draw attention to their breasts on-stage, spank each other and even bounce their breasts around

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Yum yum. And I don’t have to look up her blood type to figure out if she’s attractive.

  24. 61North

    Bachelor cooking tonight:

    A jar of Ragu or w/e was on sale at the store
    Onion
    Carrot
    Garlic
    Tomato
    2 lbs ground beef
    Olive Oil

    In one pan, brown the ground beef until browned

    In large saucepan, sauté garlic, mined onions, then chopped up carrots and then the dice the tomato and add it on in. Let saute for a few minutes.

    Add browned beef, after draining the fat, to the large saucepan and then dump in the Ragu and let simmer for 4 hours.

    I’m available to cater your monocle-festooned parties, btw.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      But where does this garnish go?

      1. 61North

        about 6 glass tupperware containers and then into the freezer when they cool down. not sure what i’ll use as the base. maybe some squash noodles or just straight up.

    2. MikeS

      You better explain exactly what you drain the burger into before CPRM loses his marbles…again.

      1. Spudalicious

        If you’re making Hamburger Helper with 80/20 hamburger because that’s all you can afford? Drain it. Otherwise face the anal oil slick that comes with the morning. Been there, done that. Pooping a stream of grease is not pleasant.

        1. hayeksplosives

          That’s pretty much what ended the short career of Ruffles WOW potato chips fried in that fat the human body couldn’t absob, if I recall correctly.

          1. 61North

            Olestra?

          2. hayeksplosives

            Yup, that was the name!

          3. Spudalicious

            Ask OMWC about his experiment of eating beets with Olestra chips. He was quite proud of himself.

        2. straffinrun

          Hamburger Helper helps you vomit up a great meal.

        3. Rhywun

          One of life’s lessons that took me forever to learn is that hamburger with less than 20% fat is garbage – you might as well just throw it out. It’s like eating ground up cardboard.

          Bonus is that you save money by eating burger with more flavor. Yes, you’re going to drain the melted fat but what’s left tastes a lot better than that “lean” crap.

          1. Spudalicious

            Not all hamburger is the same. The gb in my freezer that was raised by a friend is probably 90/10. Best I’ve ever eaten and because of provenance, I can eat it medium rare. I’ve yet to have a restaurant burger that I think tastes better.

          2. Rhywun

            Fair enough. I’m talking about supermarket beef.

          3. Spudalicious

            Commercial I go with 85/15.

          4. CPRM

            What cut is it from? (commercial hamburger usually comes in ground beef (any cut) ground round, ground chuck, and ground sirloin) Depending on where the burger comes from can change the taste. As well as feed source, preparation…

          5. Spudalicious

            When you buy half a steer, half of the final product is hamburger. Everything leftover after the steaks and roasts are removed becomes hamburger.

            My friend buys the steer in March and spends six months finishing them on pasture grass and grain. The end result is grass fed flavor with grain fed texture.

          6. CPRM

            I, along with most of my family, find steer too lean. But that is one thing I’ve found questionable when we’ve gotten locally butchered meat, that they don’t really ask what cuts you prefer in your hamburger, nor do they label them as such, as you say you get X-amounts of cuts and the rest is burger, without knowing the mixture.You’d think you’d get more info on something like that, not less. I mean I bet the local butcher could tell me the cow’s name, but I’d never know what the makeup of the hamburger was.

    3. Spudalicious

      So Sloppy Joe’s, or in a bowl?

    4. 61North

      While this isn’t Playa-level cuisine it works as single guy food. I can do, and regularly used to make much better meals.

      What I find mystifying is the amount single women my age and younger who are proud about their inability to cook. It’s a basic skill and nobody is expecting you to be Martha Stewart or whatever, but proud ignorance isn’t not attractive.

      1. 61North

        I blame my poor grammar on wine. And Trump. And Russia.

        1. CPRM

          wine doesn’t pay as well as Trump and Russia though. Me to.

      2. Hyperion

        They’re proud of it because they’ve used tricknology to get yet another guy to cook for them.

      3. Rhywun

        Do yourself a favor then and don’t watch “America’s Worst Cook” cuz it’s a parade of exactly that.

        1. Spudalicious

          I can’t watch it. It’s a 30 minute kitchen gadget commercial where the actor burns water.

      4. Akira

        proud ignorance isn’t not attractive.

        I agree. And it’s not from a “women should do the cooking” standpoint; I love cooking and would probably end up doing most of it if I had a woman live with me. But you’re inevitably going to have nights where the good cook spouse is busy and needs the partner to cook a meal. And it makes for a disharmonious household if one spouse is completely incapable of turning groceries into food.

        And you’re correct that it doesn’t have to be extraordinarily complicated. Just learn how to fry up a couple pork chops, properly prepare a bag of frozen vegetables, and bake potatoes. Nobody’s asking you to make galantine of turkey every night.

        And what I don’t get is people who don’t know how to sew. What do you do if a button falls off???

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Throw it away? Wear it without the button?

        2. Spudalicious

          Mom taught me how to do laundry and sew a button, dad taught me how to rewire a lamp and change the oil in the car. Basic skills that can be built on throughout life.

          1. Tejicano

            Through a big chunk of my high school years my dad was in charge of a major rebuild of the church we went to. So a lot of my weekends were spent hanging doors, plastering walls, putting down floor tile, etc.

            I learned that most construction tasks require a little reading, the right tools, and about 20 minutes of trial and error.

            Since then I’ve done just about any kind of plumbing, tile work, dry wall, carpentry, put up cinder block, etc.

        3. MikeS

          Glue and Velcro™

        4. straffinrun

          My eyesight is too shitty to sew. I just go ala Jimmy Open Fly Snuka.

      5. Gustave Lytton

        Just think of it as inadvertently self identifying as someone to run away from.

        1. 61North

          Yep.

    1. Spudalicious

      When Canseco was with the A’s, he lived in the area I covered as a paramedic. Gawd that guy was a flaming asshole. One of the guys on another shift regaled us with the story of his girlfriend calling 911 for something, something, anxiety, something. She answered the door at their mansion naked, wrapped in a bedspread.

      I don’t remember what car he had bought, but he jacked it all up with crappy customization. Yeah, he was in the news for getting pulled over for driving like a dick more than once.

      1. Akira

        The (classic) Simpsons episode “Homer at the Bat” includes many pro baseball players, including Canseco. In the audio commentary, the staff mentioned that every player was friendly, cooperative, and excited to be on the show except for Canseco.

        Wiki sez:

        All of the players were cooperative except for José Canseco, who was intimidating.[5] He disliked his original part and insisted it be rewritten, and the writers grudgingly[6] made him as heroic as possible.

      2. Rhywun

        a flaming asshole

        I’m more surprised when a sports star isn’t a flaming asshole.

        1. Spudalicious

          Yeah, this. One exception was Dave Henderson. He had a special needs son and every time we interacted with him, he was a real person.

          Ricky Watters studied at the martial arts school I trained and taught at. One day he and his wife and young son were eating lunch up front. They were very pleasant. His kid was wearing fire engine sneakers. I said “I’ll be right back”. I ran over to the firehouse and pulled a bunch of stuff we would give away to kids and went back to the school. Watters obviously thought I wanted something from him and wouldn’t give me the time of day. Given the situation, I wrote him off as just another prima donna.

          1. CPRM

            Rikky Watters…now I’m nostalgic.

  25. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/liberty-and-search-meaning

    My own opinion on the top objection to liberalism, classically understood, concerns something a bit more opaque and philosophical. People say that the idea of freedom does not do well to address the great human problem of the search for meaning. This has historically been the most politically effective critique. The opponents of liberalism have long derided the market society as pointlessly consumerist, nihilistically materialistic, and hopelessly mired in moral emptiness.

    Freedom is not a system that gives our lives meaning, they say; in fact, freedom distracts us from finding meaning. Trading, working, accumulating, investment, acquiring nicer toys, getting along ever better with others, living in a better home, raising a family, carving out ever more pleasurable forms of leisure – what is the point of all this? This path of life is too linear, too predictable, too undramatic, too boring

    Jeff Tucker makes the case that the belief that a free society is hollow and meaningless might be the most effective attack on it. I think he might be correct since this would explain why modern technology has not lead to the libertarian moment, the rise of identity politics and the statism of the bohemians and intellectuals for example.

    1. Mojeaux

      Winston, thank you for posting that. I have tried several times to articulate something about SJWs trying to find meaning in their lives, but it will require more thought.

    2. Suthenboy

      There are fundamental differences between the classical liberal mentality and the collectivists and this is one of them. The argument’s weakness, of course, is that someone else’s need for meaning is not a reason for me to sacrifice my own liberty. Of course, that isnt really what the critics of liberalism are after. Not at all. They aren’t offering meaning to anyone, they are just trying to force everyone to sacrifice their liberty.

  26. Winston

    https://abc7news.com/amp/police-new-evidence-shifted-the-trajectory-of-jussie-smollett-investigation-2-brothers-cooperating/5141900/?__twitter_impression=true

    Smollett issues denial that he staged a hoax attack on himself.

    One of these purported suspects was Jussie’s personal trainer who he hired to ready him physically for a music video. It is impossible to believe that this person could have played a role in the crime against Jussie or would falsely claim Jussie’s complicity.

    So he’s saying that is possible that his personal trainer is correctly accusing Jussie of complicity?

    1. Rhywun

      I dunno but I’m glad they inserted the completely irrelevant hot-take from the man who shares the name of Bad Orange Man.

  27. Rhywun

    I’m starting to regret I ever started a conversation about beef.

    1. Winston

      You know who else…

      1. Rhywun

        Clara Peller?

        1. Winston

          Or Walter Mondale?

        2. Spudalicious

          Stormy Daniels?

      2. Suthenboy

        Spartacus?

    2. CPRM

      Grandson of a butcher, went without internet for 2 days and am drunk, of course I’m going to start a fight over beef.

      1. Spudalicious

        Is there a fight? I guess I missed it.

        Anyways, the ground beef I have on hand is “what’s leftover” after all the prime cuts have been removed and packaged. Because it’s all ground together, the flavor, texture and fat content is very consistent. I eat some pretty darned good burgers when we go out, but it’s the way the burger is cooked and the other add ons more than it is the flavor of the burger itself.

    3. Akira

      Is “draining ground beef” going to become one of those things like abortion, circumcision, or whether or not deep dish is pizza?

  28. Spudalicious

    2300 hours, Glibbies. Spud is out.

  29. CPRM

    To be Super Cereal here for a second. 99% of what I say here in the comments is said in jest. And when I do post some cereal things I never mean it in a condescending tone. Even though I might have certain moral standards for myself, I don’t care if others follow them. I guess that’s what brings me to a place like this. When it comes to other people I mostly just want to help them make sure the choices they are making are the best choices they can make. I’ll go ahead and say this is a response to Hyek Splosives misreading of my earlier comments, but it goes for any one else. If I make a serious reply it’s never in judgement of your actions, but my own response as ‘the responsible drunk’.

  30. one true athena

    Listening to local news (here in Los Angeles) and they’re actually admitting that Illinois enforcement screwed up and the law didn’t work. Usually they kind of sweep that under the rug to keep propping up the “WE NEED MOAR LAWSSS” train, but at least this one, maybe because it’s coming so hard on the heels of the shooting, is actually being noticed.

    I know I’m setting the bar really low, but at least it’s something, for this stupidly blue state.

    1. Winston

      Shooter was black which also mucks up the narrative.

    2. Chafed

      I’m shocked. Was there any banter afterwards about how another law would help?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        No law regulating legal ownership would have prevented it = just have to move on to banning firearms entirely.

        /prog logic

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Nothing wrong with a little George Jones

      Well not much, there are some stinkers
      https://youtu.be/1DvludsYC_A

      1. CPRM

        That’s almost cheesy enough to be good, like Barroom Buddies.

        1. And here I thought you were linking to the Ballroom Blitz!
          https://youtu.be/ewFBuYHldeY

          1. Festus

            A great hit amongst my peers circa 1976. Good one, doc!

  31. Suthenboy

    I am still stuck on this pair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tjrxCRcf8E

    Bluegrass > Country…by a mile.

    1. Festus

      Oh yeah. That’s the music of my people even though we’re not that big on ancestry identity. 7/8 of my forebears have a Scottish surname.

    2. l0b0t

      Bluegrass > Country…by a mile.

      You ain’t lyin’.

  32. Festus

    For the oldsters that have been married for awhile https://youtu.be/p1S5pAF1YYA

  33. l0b0t

    Switching it up – Wild Turkey 101 (8 second pour) + big splash of black cherry juice, shaken with ice, strained into pint glass then filled with Manhattan Special Black Cherry Soda. Waste not, want not – ice from shaker gets quick rinse then into water pipe; OG Sour while everyone sleeps. Binge watching old seasons of Big Brother… WTF is wrong with me?

  34. l0b0t

    I posit Peter Capaldi is the absolute best Doctor since Tom Baker (the Omnidoctor, against whom all others are judged). Being saddled with lousy companions (Sassy but streetwise black girl stereotype and doughy, sycophantic majordomo) and what is, so far, the worst writing of the entire series is making me sad.