Gather round children. I’ll tell you a story from back at the turn o the century. I happened upon this while I was searching through old belongings, a tale I had done forgot I told…
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Well that got random at the end.
Um…..what?
I think it’s a cry for help. But fuck if I know what kind of help.
This is a cry for help.
What have we done to make you hate us?
What happened?? Did you see that grammar?
I assume he needs his ‘pool cleaned’.
It is as it was.
La plus ca change….
No Lindsay Graham?
It was a heterosexual story.
Alien story without anal probes just ain’t right.
And Joey Fatone as the hot pool boy is??
That’s the joke though.
Yeah, you say that now.
I always liked Robot Chicken calling him “Joey Fat One.”
I think the pool scene was a test set up by the aliens, to see if he was the proper subject for their experiment.
^
Poor monkeys. Always getting tainted by racism accusations.
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/50814275
Is it wrong of me to larf at the irony?
There’s so much irony, it would be wrong not to laugh.
That’s awesome. They should do ink blots next.
Something for the Italian in all of us…
I… wow.
Russia and India secretly controlling the west through fake news.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-50749764
I wanted to see a smoking Rod Sterling commentary at the end. Witness if you will a man who went from being part of a dead pool, to taking a swim…………in the Twilight Zone.
I like it.
??????
Needs more cunte, less cod.
Tres is right! Yeah there may have been five or so hotties, but…I mean–this is the 21st century, dude!
Opening song
https://youtu.be/dZLfasMPOU4
Dru Hill > Backstreet > NSYNC > 98 Degrees imho
Shit yeah, Dru Hill! Maryland represent!
No love for Boys 2 Men? Plebs
My first thought as well.
Clearly I was going for a range of years, nerd.
It amazes me that out of all the guys in those boy bands only one turned out to be gay
That we know of.
Does Ricky Martin count?
I forgot about Menudo
Did you forget about The Osmonds, too?
Jackson 5.
Menudo, not named above.
Relevant
https://youtu.be/sBWudGbYZuE
What the hell is wrong with you people?
Seriously, you’re asking this now???
I procrastinate a lot. One day I’ll tell you why.
Whadda ya mean, you people?
ALRIGHT!! Stop this dog-on-dog aggression!
Where’s HM and his Gay dog?
True story, Joey Fat-one is friends with the Impractical Jokers which kind of ruined that show for me. Don’t hate
That’s what ruins it?
You didn’t like that show? You’re wrong again? How is that possible
He’s right.
Why do you people make me defend The Hyperbole?
You’re up on the rotation.
It’s a dirty job, but Mike Rowe wasn’t available . . .
Mike Rowe…
*le sigh*
Unfortunately, it’s one of the better shows on.
That said, I saw ’em live, bought a toboggan, and would see again.
Writing and drinking don’t always turn out for the better. You gotta cut back on one or the other. Or both.
No money shot is bullshit.
Iron law?
I wrote this before back before I had ever started drinking. I found it tucked away in a box, and found it random enough to share. I guess I was wrong *kicks pebble*
Don’t let these lamers get you down.
I liked it. I found it funny. Hopefully that was the intended effect.
*Shrug* Don’t worry. We still read it, and appreciated the content we consumed, for it blessed us with sustenance or snark, or something.
Fuck, this 100 proof vodka is potent…
Just puttin’ you on, I read every word , mesmerized. It was interesting. Have you continued in the same direction or changed genre towards the visual exclusively?
My prose have withered substantially; I pretty much only write in screenplay format anymore.
I definitely liked it by the way.
I read it before I posted, so you’ve got that going for you.
You were only 8 when you wrote this?
While, I had
drinksbeer before, but I was sober sally until after HS.Wait…was she in this, too?
I take exception to that. My best prose was done when I was loaded on booze and had a head full of opiates.
…just like Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Disconnect your doorbell!
Write drunk. Edit sober.
—Badass E Hemingway
Oklahoma cheerleading coach admits she had sex with two students: affidavit
After he graduated!
Wait was he/she 16 or 18?
And she was a Jr. High teacher.
She’s got kind of a “Always Sunny” thing going on.
That’s a rough shot for sure.
Well, The Waitress IS a rough shot…usually.
It’s a fucked up world that wants to put her in prison for 40 years for that. She could have murdered them and got less time.
She was the cheerleading coach and was banging dudes?
Guess I’m being a dick. Good story. 3 out of 4 fapps.
Only 3? For a dick, that’s kind of a let-down.
Sorry to OT, but it’s time sensitive. ..
BP, check out bilasport.net
DEAR DEIDRE I cheated on my wife by having amazing sex on the floor with the babysitter
lol this guy
Hang Him.
The photo is probably exactly what it looked like.
I believe you…
They couldn’t find any British models?
Also… Who hires a babysitter that doesn’t make this man a pedophile?
Didn’t happen.
I wrote an advice column for one of the college newspapers I was on, and I wrote my own questions. Ain’t nobody writing in to a random internet rag with that question.
Penthouse University?
Like-a-so.
Dear Penthouse letters, I never thought this would happen to me…
Jews flock to axe-throwing self defense class after Jersey City shooting
Straight out of Mein Kampf.
(((Franciscas))) I think (((1911s))) work better. Also, invented by a guy named Moses so…
Hatchet ban in 3… 2… 1…
I have one that I’d like to grind.
True story. When I was twelve or thirteen, my brother and I used to drink cheap wine (like night train express, cheap) on our front porch and throw hatchets at a large tree next to the sidewalk. One day, One of us (can’t remember which) threw and missed the tree entirely. The hatchet stuck right in the rear quarter of some Japanese car that was driving by. We both took off running and never threw hatchets from the porch again.
I’m glad (((my))) coreligionists are starting to take self-defense seriously. But this is a half measure. Get.A.Gun.
Need to Get.A.New.Mayor.And.Governor first.
The New York Jews* in: Let Me Axe You a Question
*I presume there is a group of Jewish performers in or around NYC that call themselves this.
Glibertarians field trip to the IMAX?
Plus Jon Hamm in uniform.
*drools*
I am suddenly more excited about this than I should be. WTF is wrong with me?!
You’re a gaymo?
GAY
AARP Gun?
Aren’t these guys like full colonels or retired or something? After 30 years or so? I’m surprised they aren’t collecting full disability and hanging around the Officer’s Club trying to get someone to listen to their stories.
lol you silly billy Maverick is way too much of a loose cannon to be a colonel.
This only works if his call sign is “Hammaconda”
as ever, relevant
I must say, this place is quite the variety show.
Holy crap. This is some seriously weird shit.
The Day the Monkeys Went too Far: Otter revenge. To the tune of Carmine Burana, no less.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ss1NqzjxI&list=LL17t0ryEu2er7lCofCP506A&index=1307
LOL!!
(However, did not like that tenor.)
Hah!
Not my favorite version of the song either,but, man, go Team Mustelid!
If I had an otter, a cat, and an owl, I would have the trifecta of evil.
I have 5 performances of Carmina Burana, 1 chamber and 4 orchestral. Best one.
Cats, otters, and owls has sads…
Hells yeah!!
Man, fuck them chimps!!
The Monkees went too far!
C’mon, now–no 60’s television band was complete without maracas.
I will convert and devote my life to any religion that promises I will reincarnate as an otter.
::ponders questions about pets, reconsiders::
“A High School Soccer Coach Is In Trouble After Taking His Team To Hooters After A Loss”
https://www.barstoolsports.com/philadelphia/a-high-school-soccer-coach-is-in-trouble-after-taking-his-team-to-hooters-after-a-loss
If they win they go to a strip club?
That’s one way to get the team to keep loosing. No wonder everyone is mad.
Soccer is not a real sport and Hooters is not a real strip club. Totally checks out.
Ding! ding!
We have a winner!
Rebuilding morale and team spirit after a loss. Make him Athletic Director, he understands young men.
Trying perk them up.
I took my son to his Hooters when he was a few months old.
Actual cheer made by my summer swim team circa 1989 in super retarded liberal Silver Spring, MD. Oh, I was 9.
” And if we win we get some gin, and if we lose we get no booze. But if we tie, we still get high.
Good times
Remembers he is an alcoholic. Ponders quietly
That story gave me heartaburn.
Has mustang or tejicano checked in tonight?
Am I just old or is 24 and 29 still “young”…? Hell, so is 41 under the right light.
There’s a girl in my Japanese class that I thought maybe was 18/19, but could be 16 or 17. She’s 23.
Figured he’d have been deported after the first arrest.
Totally read it as ‘gopher’ for most of the article.
Thought it was some phreaky-deaky Nippon term.
It’s a secret Caddyshack reference.
Of course!!
I’m going to go with our boy Claude here having eaten funeral potatoes right before bed and ODing on Tylenol PM, cuz that’s one messed-up dream.
What?
No kidding, there was no sex.
That was the bad part of the dream.
He should have at least nailed the maid.
Here’s the theme song for that story.
or..this.
That is my favorite Skynyrd song, no lie.
It’s a good one, but there’s so many. I like On the Hunt, Cry for the Bad Man, Double Trouble and Curtis Lowe. And, well, a bunch more.
I named a character Curtis Lowe.
Another one.
@Toxteth O’Grady
Fuck off, Tulpa!
Soooooooooooooo who are you, how long have you been lurking, did you get a subpeona from Preet, how do you feel about Rico Suave, do you like pineapple, do you like it on pizza, is deep dish actually pizza, hotdish or casserole, oatmeal or Cream of Wheat, Twitter or Instagram, poutine or haggis, what is your opinion on the Great Wall of China, can one be both a vampire AND a werecreature and which do you identify as, Memphis, North Caroline, Texas, or Kansas City, Uma Thurman or Cameron Diaz, Michael Shannon or Gary Oldman, do you say “the” before interstate numbers, and, most importantly, soda or pop?
Pop. And who the hell is Toxteth O’Grady?
Correct!
A Tulpa who thought s/he/it could escape my interview process.
There is a map for that.
http://popvssoda.com/
I’ve seen that before. Unfortunately, my children, though born Pops, are being converted to Sodas because their dad is from SoCal amd refuses to do as the Romans.
Pop is the correct answer.
I’d like to see the coke vs meth map.
That’s more of a calendar.
Also, I’ll play:
I don’t lurk
No, before my time
Every girl I know could change a tire if pressed to
yes
hell no
hell no (but it’s delicious)
HOTDISH (preferably tater tot)
Both. (Did you know Cream of Wheat was invented in North Dakota?)
Neither
poutine
Great place to visit, wouldn’t want to live there
yes, I’m certain there are werecreatures in Romania
KC
Cameron
Michael
What kind of morons do that? You say “I” before the number
pop, still.
Calimorons.
um, I may be a narcissist, but, is this still my interview? so many questions
I will repost your interview downthread.
ok, but, get off my lawn!
*scurries away without picking up the dog poop*
Some douchebag let their dog shit on my driveway a couple of days ago.
DId you rub his face in it?
I would have, but I didn’t see it until I was headed to the store. Most people around here are pretty good about that.
Sorta like the new version of Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
I’ll play too:
Lurked from the Great Migration until about two months ago, still mostly lurking because of work
No
To be sure, he’s not the worst writer at TOS
Yes
No
Maybe
Casserole
Oatmeal
Neither
Poutine
Impressed by anything humans build that lasts that long
Yes, one could be both. If I have to identify as some sort of Eldritch creature, I’m going fae.
Memphis
Cameron Diaz
Gary Oldman
Just the number
Soda
still mostly lurking because of work
Don’t give rufus an inch.
Fuck the lurkers. What are they gonna do? Oh no, the lurkers are angry! Woooo! *Trembling hands*
SODA?!?!?!?!
And she seemed so nice.
Right?!
IT’S COKE, YOU BITCHEZ!!
There…I’ve said my peace.
As an Atlanta native, I’m probably supposed to answer Coke. In general, I just use the name of whatever specific sofa I’m taking about.
It’s soda you back country redneck.
^^^ What the Potato guy said.
It’s “juice” you tater peel
Not technically back country, but in the spirit of the season, I’ll allow it.
Don’t make me kick you in the cod.
Mo, don’t take that shit from some hick that lives in fucking I-DA-HO
And don’t make me reach through the interwebs and cut a bitch.
In 10 minutes, I could leave my house, stop at Walmart for a 12-pack of Mt Dew, and be on Spud’s doorstep by 3:00 p.m. tomorrow.
/oddly specific
Do I need to supply the Southern Comfort?
I actually don’t know where in Idaho you are, but it you were in Twin Falls, my timeline stands.
Southern Comfort not necessary, thankee kindly anyway.
Your about four hours off. I’ll see you at dinner time.
Do you want a coke?
The man with the stickiest boogie
Mike: Okay, Bambi, let’s hear another.
Bambi: So here goes with the starter for 10. What is the record number of marshmallows stuffed up one nostril?
[Mike buzzes in]
Announcer: Scumbag, Mike.
Mike: Six hundred and four, Toxteth O’Grady, U.S.A.
Vyvyan: I told you that, Mike, you bloody cheat!
Bambi: 10 points, Scumbag, and your question: Who produced the world’s stickiest bogey?
Mike: [buzzing in] Toxteth O’Grady.
Bambi: Correct, 5 points.
Vyvyan: You bum bag!
A Young Ones reference. 😉 It was an answer on the University Challenge episode.
Uh, yeah, that.
I got the box set. Loved it in my preteen years.
I swear by pineapple and green chile pizza like I swear by Clamato: unapologetically.
You’re dead to me.
don’t forget un-un-retardedly.
Aw, heck.
not sure myself
nearly day 1
no, mostly lurked at The Other Place
no opinion
adore it
not habitually but not the worst thing ever
casserole
oatmeal
Twitter
haven’t tried either
seems rather long
probably not
of the above list have been only to Texas
Uma
Gary
as a Calimoron generally yes to “the” and soda
Thanks for the interest in little ol’ me! ☺️ I really don’t have a lot to say though, and I can’t keep up with all you prolific people.
Great name by the way.
Welcome!
Aw shucks; thanks. 🙂
Well, I married one o’ ya, so I’ll allow it.
What a polite way of saying “good fer nuthin’ layabouts”!
Kansas Citians?
No need to keep up with anyone. Just drop by and say something funny, not funny, interesting, boring, happy, sad, newsworthy, too local, controversial, or widely accepted from time to time. Follow that simple rule and you’ll fit right in!
Do me next!
Lurker for 2 years
No subpoena
Can’t read TOS anymore but that fag can’t change a tire! What a fag
I love pineapple, especially on pizza. Also I worked as a pizzaiolo and can make and cook the shit out of a trad Neapolitan pizza in a 900 degree wood fired oven
Deep dish is a travesty
Do you even funeral casserole bro?
Oatmeal
Never been on either, fuck Twitter and IG
Never had haggis but poutine is a sad drunk food that became a thing.
Great Walls make great neighbors
I hate sci fi and fantasy with a passion
My pulled pork with coleslaw with Old Bay is the shit. Only been to KC and OKlahoma Joes. It was good. Mustard is not BBQ
Uma because of Seinfeld (bioflavonoids)
Only SoCalers use “the” because the road is a single syllable. “The 495” sounds retarded
And…..soda. It is known
OT: Ruger AR556 at $479, worth it?
Yes.
We won’t not stop.. And, what’s “The Hallmark Channel”?
Damn.
https://mobile.twitter.com/thehill/status/1206627826390175745
HAWWT
They decided to pull the rug out from under us.
Something about the whole thing felt a little queer.
Your first link worked for me.
Really? Odd.
Also, this reminds me of when Elaine asked Jerry why men were obsessed with Cat Fights.
Good. Perhaps they realized that it’s almost 2020, and most Americans are openminded.
What’s the rule on “Current Year”. I feel like this is a foul, trying to sneak in next year when we still ahve a good 15 days left in CURRENT YEAR!
The rule is that people are typically callow, and vacillate to try to ingratiate themselves with whatever the “in” group is.
Hey, glibs…do you like my Saturday night posts?
It means git woke, bigot.
git
Hahaha, Programmer confirmed.
git clone https://github.com/TeenVogue/cancel-hallmark.git
womp womp?
It’s not meant for clicking, sorry 🙁
Fine–I didn’t want to click it anyway….
@RJD
Soooooo who are you, where are you from, where do you live, how old are you, what do you do for a living, are you married, do you have kids, are you gay, bi, straight, what do you drive, what is your educational background, do you smoke, do you drink, do you vape, do you toke, what church do you go to (if you go to one), what species and gender do you identify as, what sports do you like, what teams do you follow, what’s your favorite color, do you like dogs or cats or chinchillas, do you like pickles, do you eat meat, Walmart or Target, multicolored lights or white, Tarantino or Kubrick, Bandit or Snowman, what are your hobbies, what’s your favorite architectural style, what’s your favorite musical style and what is your favorite song, Lawrence Welk or Hee Haw, Rodin or Dali, where have you traveled, and, most importantly, soda or pop?
“Pop” is the correct answer.
Your not my mom!
That’s “you’re,” dear. How about some nice tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich before bedtime, mmm?
I knew you would do that! You’re always criticizing me.
*Grabs grilled cheeze, stomps off in footie pajamas*
(P.S i want to add to TGA and say we all appreciate you, and i for one missed you when you went underground to write)
Oh, goodness. Thank you very much!
Damn dust motes.
*looks down, moves some gravel with foot*
Yeah, me too.
Thank you! ?
suck up….
What makes you “you”?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Answering questions about where I see myself in 5 years.
*Notes: Plans to leave company within next 5 years*
*Jesse Lee Peterson voice*
Amazin.
What are your plans for the future?
So…..you’ll sell your ability to box and kick at roughly the same time?
Got it.
Taking your job….next question.
Neither.
I am me, from various locations, currently in central Ohio, 57 yo, currently disabled, didn’t treat my body well, now have serious heart failure. committed, most kids are adults, some functional, some questionable, cis-white-shitlord, silverado z-71, quit the public school mess at 17 and joined army in 79, quit smoking when my first grandson was born 10 years ago, yes, yes, yes, don’t, possibly part canine, I seem to understand them best, not into sports, purple/blue, dogs and hook bills, no, yes, walmart, multi, dunno, snowman, complicated, southwestern, hard or classic rock, what its like, hee haw, ? nowhere, pop
Welcome!
TLDR;
…
POP!
I like this guy!
this is why i love you guys
So you ARE a CIA plant.
Bah, Your Pop just has a bunch of Corn Syrup in it. CornPop we used to call it. And it was bad, dude.
+1 rusty straight razor
Whatever, Esther.
That’s exactly what Tulpa would say!
we’re all tulpa
The correct answer was “FUCK OFF SLAVER!”
Ima noob, I’ll learn
wait, DON”T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
I was about to say that you failed two times in a row. Nice save.
Welcome to the island of misfit toys.
So let’s talk about your complicated hobbies.
*plops self down*
some “hobbies” are not things to be discussed openly, it’s complicated
RJD’s Hobby is sending people down cryptic goose chases
and its fun
You look vaguely asian, and since we’re all white supremacists…hi.
not asian, stoned 🙂
Same diff.
And here I thought you were turning Japanese.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWWwM2wwMww
Myths and gents, he’s one of us!
Damn, that’s lucky–you don’t need a heart around these parts!!
A heart? I thought it was a BRAIN we didn’t need!
::hangs head, starts to shuffle toward door…::
Oh, there’s plenty o’ brains around here….
::looks above previous comment, looks below previous comment::
Wait…there are two…?
::faints::
It’s Leon–how could I NOT do it?
If you find one, I need to use it. Mine’s gone. Been gone for a while now.
You write for a living! You gave us ‘cunte”! The word, that is (ahem).
No, no–you got plenty of brains, lady ma’am.
It’s 2 am and I am wide awake. Time to play the get Mo to know ya.
I was born a poor black child but turned into a 39 year old white guy.
Born in MD outside of DC
Lived in NE, CO, CA and now OH ( Hi RJD)
Work as a risk management consultant in agriculture. Hate it and farmers and the USDA with a burning passion
Not married but have an adorable 4 year old with a woman who is so sick of my bullshit. Not married
Drive a sweet Camry
BS in Conservation Biology
Drugs of choice are booze and pot. Need to stop both and deal with my crushing anxiety and self loathing ( I hate everyone else too)
Roman Catholic sort of. Brother is a Catholic priest
Sports play a smaller and smaller part of my life as I get older. Sort of root for D.C. Teams except the Skins. Fuck Dan Snyder
Love nature and occasionally killing it. Hiking, etc.
Blue
Starting to realize I hate dogs and cats. Fight me. Favorite animal is a mountain lion, esp ones that eat pets
Dill pickles for the win.
Hate both stores
Love most Xmas lights that don’t blink
Don’t like movies. I think that’s due to my anxiety some how
Like hip hop and bluegrass ( resulting from bluegrass on NPR and growing up near Chocolate City
My bro is an architect so his work?
I like gardening and very rudimentary woodworking.
Thinking if quitting my job and starting a landscape company that removes invasive and exotic species and replaces with native plants. Yes I’m a nature dork.
Favorite tool: a scary sharp chef’s knife
Very little travel. Iceland is the most exotic place I’ve been. Pretty women there with black hair and blue eyes.
I gotta get up at four A.M., dammit!
I’m sure you’re tuff enuff.
?? Would read again.
Lunch break over. Y’all have fun with your new socks. Ciao.
Where is Yusef? He’s going to be so upset he missed giving a hearty “FUCK OFF, TULPA” to not one, but TWO Tulpae.
It’s like Christmas or something.
It is the reason for the season.
With all these Tulpae showing up, we really need to make sure we don’t have people walking about Naked. That means Get your avatars on people! I can’t tell if you are replying to me or the person i replied to!
^^^Yeah!
We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . . on December 16, 2019 at 8:58 pm
It’s a dirty job, but Mike Rowe wasn’t available . . .
It’s a dirty job but someones got to do it.
RJD isn’t naked anymore!!!
I specifically stated when I entered this dimension to reveal myself, that I wanted to connect. So, here I am
Xmas music
https://youtu.be/lmI7hPBfm30
Soooooo who are you?: Not a chance.
Where are you from?: Originally, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, now in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
Where do you live?: see above.
How old are you?: 61.
What do you do for a living?: I’m retired, as is the spousal unit.
Are you married?: See above.
Do you have kids?: Nope. Tried three times — no soap, radio.
Are you gay, bi, straight?: Straight as a laser beam.
What do you drive?: RAV4.
What is your educational background?: BA in Religion, BA (double major) Economics/PoliSci, MBA (double major) Finance/Management Science.
Do you smoke?: Nope.
Do you drink?: Have you read my stuff?
Do you vape?: Too newfangled.
Do you toke?: Too much like smoking.
What church do you go to?: I identify as Baptist, but haven’t gone in a loooooong time.
What species and gender do you identify as?: Ostensibly human and male.
What sports do you like?: Boinking.
What teams do you follow?: Sadly, there are no known “boinking” teams.
What’s your favorite color?: Pthalocyanine blue or green.
Do you like dogs or cats or chinchillas?: Dogs. Always dogs.
Do you like pickles?: Yes.
Do you eat meat?: Yes.
Walmart or Target?: Yes.
Multicolored lights or white?: Yes.
Tarantino or Kubrick?: Kubrick.
Bandit or Snowman?: WTF?!?
What are your hobbies?: Weight-training, electronics, photography, cooking.
What’s your favorite architectural style?: Mid-century Modern. Anything by Calatrava’s a very close second.
What’s your favorite musical style and what is your favorite song?: Eclecticism rules my tastes in this regard.
Lawrence Welk or Hee Haw?: Embrace the power of “neither.”
Rodin or Dali?: Rodin, but Dali’s amusing, and he made it into the Vatican’s museum, so there’s that.
Where have you traveled?: Most of North America and Western Europe, Caribbean.
And, most importantly, soda or pop?: Pop music.
Now do Toxteth O’Grady’s interview.
Also, Calatrava or Gaudi?
Calatrava or Gaudi?
No True Spaniard would make that choice.
Gaudí by a mile.
Calatrava gave us that flytrap PATH station at the World Trade Center, which leaks & is poorly designed inside. But it looks cool on the outside so yay.
function > form
Shit, Imwear Birkenstocks. If that’s not a sacrifice to the god of function, I don’t what is.
I am a fan of Louis “Form Follows Function” Sullivan, who has a gorgeous early skyscraper in Buffalo.
I like a lot of different architectural styles, but one that looked pretty and leaked would earn insta-hatred.
Also, I despise brutalist architecture. I really can’t think of any other style that makes me want to puke, scream, and/or tremble in terror just looking at it.
Yeah, I had to walk through it every day, as it connected the NYC subway to the PATH train to New Jersey where I worked. A lot of the poor design choices seemed constrained by the existing levels underground that it had to shoehorn itself into. But the biggest problem is it’s just not easy to get around – e.g. there is no way to ascend a floor on one side without walking a long way to the other side. Not enough escalators. Etc. etc. Plus the shopping is all artsy-fartsy crap I would never patronize.
No boinking teams? May I recommend Pornhub?
x mas music Pentatonix, that is all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSUFzC6_fp8
They are lovely.
I quite enjoyed The Sing Off, though in large part because I’m a big Ben Folds fan.
Anybody in the BNA tomorrow night ?
Most likely there will be.
I think we’ve had this fun before
Don, are you trying to say “NBA”, and got confused?
?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BX4TZo9rXQ
Dreaming of a white X-mas?
“Hell yes!”
David Duke
As I may have mentioned before; I was probably a proto-hipster around the turn of the century, in that my character that I played at said time liked things ironically and for shitzngiiglz. I was into metal, but I had an NSync watch that played a pixelated version of Bye Bye Bye; and since Joey Fatone didn’t seem like he belonged in a boy band, he was of course my favorite. He was the Kevin Farley of N*Sync.
Hmmm….I’ll allow it.
I mean, the watch is rather humorous.
It was hilarious when I pushed the play button on that watch at a math club event (No one in my school wanted to join math club, so they forced people to join) And all the math nerds are looking for where Bye Bye Bye was coming from.
See? Good times.
Also: “Shut the HELL UP, you little assholes! You are going to Math Club™, and you’ll by God like it!!”
I wrote random answers to all the test questions and sat back and looked confident. I could see all the guys taking it serious, “How the hell is he done so fast?!” It was pretty glorious trolling, before that was a thing to. So yeah, I invented hipsters and trolling, true story.
I did math club willingly. Fight me.
Math Fight Club. Rhy is actually Tyler.
I fookin’ knew it!
I ain’t got no beef. We were forced school wide to take a test, those with the highest scores were forced into math club. Everyone tried to fail the test, but I guess I didn’t try hard enough to fail. So with a score of 20 out 100 I forced to do it.
Ladies and Gentlemen: US public education–forcing your child(ren) into clubs they don’t like, and probably don’t belong in.
/not you, C–I’ve no doubt you belonged…if you wanted to.
Yeah, it’s the whole ‘if I wanted to’ part that killed most of my interests in gov school. I loved reading READ THIS BOOK NOW AND TELL ME YOUR INTERPRETATION IS THE SAME AS MINE!. I loved writing, WRITE ABOUT THIS THING I TOLD YOU TO AND MAKE IT ONLY AS LONG AS I SAID, NOT SHORTER OR LONGER!. etc…
My co-religionists: I don’t think this is a good look, do you?
I haz a sad.
They told people the spaceship to Colar investment counted as tax deductible?
::looks at CP::
Is that….is that a “straining’ joke, or, a “necklace” joke?
It’s a mormon joke; we gots mormons round these parts.
But….”Colar”??
So, of course I’ve seen this.
#MeToo
That’s crappy film-making; having the sound effects over-take the narration.
/Kolob
Kolob. That answered that.
Thank you!
Actually, it’s a pretty expensive animation technique they used, known as rotoscoping. It’s clear they shot video of actual actors and then traced over it. It was a technique pioneered by Disney and used in the Fleischer Superman cartoons; and eventually lead to a lot digital techniques used today..I’m betting the CIA made it.
Oh, the rotoscoping is obvious. But, it’s always crap when narration and music/foley collide.
Isn’t that where Kobol comes from?
Yes, I do believe Glen Larson anagramed it for…well, not sure the reason, other than maybe to keep from profaning it, if that’s a thing for LDS.
Kobol is in Afgonystaan, silly homo.
Now I feel like watching a Richard Linklater movie.
I keep thinking about A Scanner Darkly, even though I’ve only seen it once. Has stayed on the periphery of my consciousness, so, good movie, I suppose.
Me too. I can barely remember parts of Waking Life as well.
I’m afraid I’m not getting the joke, but I no brain gud lately.
WaPo blocks me so I only saw the headline. I say it’s time to put Mitt Romney on the case.
I don’t think its a good look, but I don’t know how much will come of it. 1- the Church is pretty strict with compliance; I can’t imagine they’d be seriously out of whack; 2- given the whistleblower’s family had left the church and encouraged him to do as well, it seems more like sour grapes that I’m sure the John Dehlins of the world will jump on with glee. Overall, it isn’t a good look, but given the fights between the Church and the Feds in the past, I don’t think they’d risk that issue again. I’ll be interested in the followup to this post: https://bycommonconsent.com/2019/12/16/100-billion-a-placeholder/
I’mma sit back and watch all this fall out. We know how media is. We know the dude’s interested in a bounty. We also have the abstract at Scribd, which reads like a clichéd script.
OTOH, I am not a fan of our current leadership for various feelz I can’t explain (let’s face it, demoting Prez McHottie was suspicious), and I am (possibly pettily) resentful about not hiring janitors. Damn, just pay somebody already and quit sucking every last grain of salt from the last tear of your volunteer force.
He is seeking a reward from the IRS, which offers whistleblowers a cut of unpaid taxes that it recovers.
Which would make a nice little payoff from leaving.
I’m getting a distinctly Penthouse letters/Twilight Zone vibe off that tale. I’m sure there is still a huge market for that kind of thing.
Hell, I thought it was the first draft of Extract.
Somehow that movie fell under my radar. Is it a good watch? I loved Office Space.
Right? Never heard of it.
I’ve had good luck with glib film recommendations so far.
It’s a bit understated for a Judge flick. That said, I love it. It even has Lumbergh in an early scene*.
*It’s actually Gary Cole, dressed as Lumbergh, eating at a restaurant, but in the background. It was just a bit of fan service from Mike and Gary.
I like understated. It’s on the list. Thanks Dig,
No prob! BTW, I think Jason Bateman is a perfect star for a Mike Judge film. I don’t think he disappoints in this.
Also–believe it or not, Affleck is rather good in his stoner iteration.
/Hard to believe it’s not more popular around here, considering the love for OS and Idiocracy. It was just another example of how Judge gets shafted wrt marketing his films. Because of this, I made sure to see it in the theater.
Bateman is a good comic actor. Comedy is tough. It gets no respect. There are many good drama, action, Kung fu, thriller, horror, western, trippy films out there, but I’d say good comedy is the most difficult to do right.
For anyone considering Extract, I will say that it isn’t filled with belly laughs, as I found Office Space and Idiocracy to be. Or, more appropriately, it’s not exactly a quotable movie like they are.
That said, it’s got Judge’s subtle Texas flair (if you know what I’m referring to), and has plenty of cringe/loser humor, since it’s not really about the best outcome for our ‘hero’. Plenty of good performances from actors you know and/or recognize.
I think I see the new editor of the resurrected Penthouse Letters.
THE best articles include the phrase, “ample amount of fart spray”.
He is the hero we need.
You (and anyone else interested) ought to watch the youtube vid about the upgrayedd on that invention. At least one of the thieves took the package to a cell phone store to open it. You can hear an older female say something along the lines of, “Get that out of my store”, only after it started the fart-n-spray thing.
Police really need to follow up on that, as I have a feeling she’s involved with something a bit more organized. And, even if she isn’t, exposing that store should get her ass in a ton of trouble.
Then again, I believe in responding to thieves with gun shots.
I liked the vid, I saw the one he did last year, likely linked here. I hate thieves. Stealing is the worst, I try and stop it or deal with it afterwards everyday. I’d love to see a very low cost version that just detects thefts.
The dude seems like a Renaissance man: worked for NASA (don’t know how difficult that is, but, sounds impressive), makes one YT vid per month that is, I think, a part of his income now (and can live off whatever it is), invents rather clever anti-theft stuff, gets on Kimmel for his creations (not a plus, really, but, whatever)… You get my meaning.
I like the way you think.
Fist bumps and slide racking. Or, t-bar charging, if you got your AR.
I’ll bring some beverages.
My neighborhood is littered with sketchy-looking “cell-phone stores”. No idea what goes in there – I wouldn’t set foot in one except that one of them happens to be a UPS drop-off point where I have had several packages delivered.
“packages”
Hey, that’s a good delivery service, either way. I mean, maybe not one I would use, but, a blow for freed-What? What’s that look for?
Mark Davis is one weird (looking) dude.
https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/12/16/raiders-owner-mark-davis-spits-on-nostalgia-before-the-teams-final-game-in-oakland/amp/
In one way you gotta admire him, he just says exactly what goes through his poorly groomed head. In another, Jesus, have some bit of recognition of common decency and a small piece of business acumen. He just pissed on his fans in Oakland. Not the best biz move, although Raider Nation seems to love getting shit on.
Pardon my ignorance, but, where is the team moving?
Vegas. The first stripper to get the name Autumn Wind is gonna make bank.
Ah! Sounds….well, I dunno, maybe better than Oakland. Could go either way, really.
“Skyler Wide”.
Las Vegas.
I want to know who AL Davis boinked in order to make. There may be something genetic causing the weirdness.
I will never understand why American sportsfans put up with this musical-chairs crap. Pull this shit in Europa and knives will come out.
I covered it in my article the other day. The lack of promotion means a city outside the system has no other way in other than throwing money at a team to get it to move or expansion.
This wouldnt happen if Vegas had a tier 2 team already.
The correct answer is coke.
THANK YOU!!
What is “why is robc awake at this time of night?”?
Hey–don’t go runnin’ off our company!
Barack Obama: Women are ‘indisputably better’ than men
Obama told the audience at the Singapore Expo that the world would be a better place if women were in charge. The event, entitled “A Conversation with President Barack Obama” came just two days after “An Evening with Michelle Obama”.
I left money on the dresser for both events.
What is the standard being used to determine better-ness, BHO?
If every world leader were a woman, we’d be better off. Something like that, according to BHo.
Welp, I’m tired of being led. Doesn’t matter much to me what they got between their legs, if they’re seeking governmental power.
Also, putting the ‘mental’ in ‘governmental’. That, of course goes for the whole spectrum of genders.
Also, I thought men weren’t supposed to put women on a pedestal. Pussaliah the Great is so passe’.
He is such an insufferable smug asshole, his family showed it’s true colors when he left office. They hate whites but bought a mansion on MV? I think his time is up though. The staggering illegality of what he did in office will come to light during Trump’s second term. One can hope
It’s such transparent pandering that it can’t be as effective as it once was. It’s fun watching ego destroy someone who was once the shit because the don’t recognize times have changed.
Have had female bosses. Have had male bosses. Give me a male boss – even an admitted asshole – hands down.
:Me replying to Barack in Peter Griffin’s voice: “Shut up, Peg!”
https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/texas-oldest-living-couple-wedding-anniversary
Awww…..
Gotta say: He had movie star looks back in that last photo. I wonder what they would think of the student population at UT today…
Nice story.
Nice Ford Roadster.
A Descriptive Analysis of Young Women
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31837713-a-descriptive-analysis-of-young-women/?dopt=Abstract
Unless “Descriptive Analysis” has some more specific meaning in sciencese, that title seem overly… ::dons shades::…broad.
Well, I’m glad they got to the bottom of that.
that title seem overly… ::dons shades::…broad.
Don’t get… hysterical ?
Oh no you di’int!!
Can any of you computer whizzes help an old lady?
I want to stream audio from YouTube but not have it stop as soon as I click on another app!!
Possible?
#metoo except representing as an old man. Just got some new do-ma-hickeys for my birthday. If anyone wondered about my plight I just started using a smart phone this year…
So many Tulpae! Exciting! Diggy should have gone with Oskar from “The Tin Drum”, though. Excellent book and a better movie.
Behold! https://youtu.be/NTKLqhT-tTo