Glibertarians.com 2019 Archive

Category: Beer

  • Let’s drink to the EU elections

    The EU parliamentary elections came and went – not that you people noticed – and the results in Romania had some significance in that the ruling Party lost massively – they are the worst, as the kids say these days. This was compounded by their leader being sentenced to jail for three and a half years on corruption charges on the very next day after the elections, with possibly more to come. This of course led to a wave of the optimistic delusionals saying Romania “turned a corner” and is heading in “the right direction”, although the actions of the government show little cause for such optimism.  This is my review of Oriel HopSaSam Ţuiple’up.

    I was thinking of doing a more proper write-up on the EU elections, but I am not sure I can be bothered, so I will give a short summary of the Romanian situation. I voted myself in these ones, I am not even sure why, and chose based on potential amusement. I also voted yes to both questions of the referendum. One of them said no amnesty or pardons for corruption charges, and the second said the government would no longer be allowed to change criminal justice laws by executive order.

    The results are fully in and one of the traditional “center right”-ish parties (what I call the conniving little bitch wing party), the “National Liberal Party,” PNL – European liberal,  winning most votes, followed by a virtual tie for second between the traditional left ruling “Social Democratic Party,” PSD (a mob wing party in general) and the fresh new left-right-center anti-corruption upstarts, Save Romanian Union, USR – a hipster wing party with a slight whiff of something more sinister. You never know when the same old cabal is behind the latest young hip party.  The urban youth voted quite strongly for the latter. Three more parties hit the required 5% threshold to get in. The Democratic Union of Magyars UDMR, PRO Romania party – an offshoot of PSD led by former Prime Minister Ponta and Popular Movement Party, PMP, led by former president Traian Basescu, one of the most able, for better and worse, politicians in post commie Romania. The results are mostly meaningless, as the PSD still hold the central government and most local governments, and the EU elections did not change shit, except give a bit of satisfaction the opposition. It may at least be a sign of things to come. A few more weasel parties did not make the cut. As in the last few elections, there was great scandal as polling stations for Romanians living abroad were insufficient and the voting procedure deliberately slow, as such many could not vote, as the polling stations closed despite people who had waited 8 hours in line still not getting in. The ruling party got about 3% of the vote abroad.

    Now on to the beer, it is the first one made with a truly local twist – it is aged in former barrels of ţuică – the local fruit brandy for those not in the know. When I bought it, I doubted it would by my cup of, well… beer. It is a triple and I am not a fan of Belgian styles. It has 9.5 alcohol, which is more than I like. It is collaboration between Romanian microbrewery Oriel and a Belgian brewery HopSaSam. According to the owners “The name Oriel comes from the archangel of light, wisdom, illumination and sun.” They produce small batches of a wide variety of Belgian style beers. They are among the few which actually list their equipment on their site. For whoever may be curious, here they be.

    The beer was aged in 3 types of barrels which held 3 types of ţuică – the traditional plum, apple and pear, made of wood used for such things in Romania – oak, cherry and mulberry. The beer costs about $3.5 American for a 333 ml bottle. For my taste in ţuică, I am all about the plum. It has the strongest and most distinctive taste (except quince that is, but quince is rare). This is the same reason many people do not like plum ţuică. So I was slightly disappointed that it was not 100% plum ţuică mulberry barrels. Honestly, you can feel the stuff in the beer, but not that much. It looks, smells and tastes mostly like a triple, which is expected and which I don’t like, too sweet and alcoholic. The plum brandy is there, but more as an afterthought, a gimmick.

    While not my thing, they are among the first if not the first in Romania to try to barrel age beer, so it is overall a good thing. I also tried their quadruple aged in Belize rum casks. Same verdict, I just don’t like the beer style, so no barrel aging will change that. Smell is subdued, taste is bold, sweetish, alcohol, dark malts, some rum, some vanilla, some wood . Long finish with some bitterness, but overall sweet taste dominates.

     

    I tried to clean my palate with an IPA from a new brewer called White Collar, but it was quite disappointing, albeit more palatable to me. For a beer called Zero Taxe I expected more, but thems be the breaks. Not the best beer day for Pie.

  • Another Anniversary….

    Once again, the corporate overlords at Inbev and their marketing wizards decided to try their hand at a premium lager.  You might have noticed their targeted advertisements…on billboards… Much like last summer they put out a limited release to appeal to the more discerning, but unapologetically American crowd.  All 300 of us….

    This is my review of Budweiser Discovery Reserve American Red Lager

    ….that’s 40,000 gallons of Western Slope snowpack from the 1980’s

    This time around they are commemorating a momentous occasion that has a significant anniversary this year…

    No, not this guy.

    Not these guys, either.

    Its the 50th Anniversary of Apollo 11.  Yes, the first moon landing is only 15 years away from qualifying for Medicare!  Budweiser isn’t the only ones putting out special products to commemorate what is arguably America’s greatest achievement:  landing cis-gendered men on a rock in space and bringing them back alive.  Obvious companies such as Fisher and as Omega, are marking the occasion given their ties to the space program of the era.  In addition, not so obvious companies like Zippo who makes a product that nobody on a spacecraft would be caught dead with. Montegrappa, who makes a fountain pen that retails for the price one could cross-shop with a pretty awesome car.  Finally, the Royal Australian Mint is also jumping on the bandwagon with a commemorative piece to mark the occasion.

    Okay, maybe the gold coin is worth the price given its tied to the price of gold…

    Okay, I might get the space pen…

    The moon landings and NASA in general seem to at odds with libertarian thought.  On one hand, especially at the time, there was absolutely no commercial impetus for space travel.  Today it is certainly a different story.

    A popular argument for continued tax funding of NASA is the size of the overall budget.  “It’s just 0.5% of the Federal Budget.”  0.5% of the $3.4 Trillion Federal Budget is $18.4 Billion that should be spent down here.   “It only costs $54 per citizen to fund NASA.”  It cost each citizen $0 for Space X to launch a sports car.

    Musk estimated the cost of the space Tesla at $90 million, to which numerous people said “It would be better spent down here.”  Funny how that number pales to the almost $20 billion a year and the $20 billion in failures for NASA.  So many are willing to offer up other people’s money, but when it comes to our own tax dollars, the government never seems answerable.

    With all the nostalgia for NASA taken into account, they really don’t need our tax dollars, just a fund raiser of private donations.  For $1,000 NASA will name a star or planet after you, for a $1 million they will send your ashes up to rejoin the stars from whence we came, and for $1 billion they name the first Martian base after you.

    Great.  So my great-grandkids might die on Mars at the “Michael Bloomberg Center for Human Progress” at Olympus Mons.  Even still, one could argue tax dollars are still paying for Space X, given they are applying today’s guidance systems to rockets perfected in the 1960’s…by NASA, and their biggest customer for the near future are still going to be…NASA and DOD.

    That will certainly change.  Private investment in space based start-ups have already reached billions, asteroid mining is only a few years away, and there are even space blockchains.  A quick answer is of course no, there will be no need for NASA.

    Once you leave a certain distance from Earth how is anybody going to be able to realistically regulate anything?  Ventures in space will likely require levels of interpersonal cooperation between individuals we have not yet considered.  I will however admit even if a government program costing billions of dollars may not have been needed to get us off this rock…ultimately that’s what initially did it.  It is something else that can be added to the list of things better handled by people willing to risk their own fortunes.  Its one thing for us all to fail miserably together on Earth, why do the same thing across the universe?

    Too bad though, in spite of all the nostalgia surrounding the event being commemorated, the beer should be better.  It is not terrible, but the Apollo Astronauts probably won’t trade their whiskey-based cocktails before launch for this.  It is malty, almost too malty—even for me.  It has little body and is otherwise best described as better than that other stuff they make.

    I might get the pen.  Budweiser Discovery Reserve American Red Lager 2.3/5 

  • I Can’t Get No….

    A local politician decided to take action against a Facebook user that criticized her on Facebook.  It resulted in the local politician researching the Facebook user, finding out where he works, calling his HR, and informing them of their employee’s actions on Facebook.  She just wanted an apology….

    Seriously, here’s a link.  It’s a tough choice in determining who to hate more, a guy shitposting on Facebook, or the politician that appears to be trying to get him to lose his job.  No arbitrary abuse of power here…

    This is my review of Highwater Brewing Sugaree Maple Pecan Pie

    Is this the new norm for political discourse?  When did we turn into a bunch of assholes?  This is not that kind of article where I lecture you about proper discourse, or a plea for civility in political discussions, I promise you.  I am here to present a solution:

     

    Dueling.

    “Your mother is a nice lady.” “You lie, I demand an apology.” “…I am sorry your mother is a nice lady.”

    I know what six of you are thinking, “doesn’t this violate NAP?”  The rest of you are probably thinking, “Hell Yeah!”  For those six I submit there were indeed rules to dueling.

    Rule 1. The first offense requires the first apology, though the retort may have been more offensive than the insult. Example: A tells B he is impertinent, etc. B retorts that he lies; yet A must make the first apology because he gave the first offense, and then (after one fire) B may explain away the retort by a subsequent apology.

    Rule 2. But if the parties would rather fight on, then after two shots each (but in no case before), B may explain first, and A apologize afterward.

    N.B. The above rules apply to all cases of offenses in retort not of stronger class than the example.

    Rule 3. If a doubt exist who gave the first offense, the decision rests with the seconds; if they won’t decide, or can’t agree, the matter must proceed to two shots, or to a hit, if the challenger require it.

    Rule 4. When the lie direct is the first offense, the aggressor must either beg pardon in express terms; exchange two shots previous to apology; or three shots followed up by explanation; or fire on till a severe hit be received by one party or the other.

    Rule 5. As a blow is strictly prohibited under any circumstances among gentlemen, no verbal apology can be received for such an insult. The alternatives, therefore — the offender handing a cane to the injured party, to be used on his own back, at the same time begging pardon; firing on until one or both are disabled; or exchanging three shots, and then asking pardon without proffer of the cane.

    If swords are used, the parties engage until one is well blooded, disabled, or disarmed; or until, after receiving a wound, and blood being drawn, the aggressor begs pardon.

    N.B. A disarm is considered the same as a disable. The disarmer may (strictly) break his adversary’s sword; but if it be the challenger who is disarmed, it is considered as ungenerous to do so.

    In the case the challenged be disarmed and refuses to ask pardon or atone, he must not be killed, as formerly; but the challenger may lay his own sword on the aggressor’s shoulder, then break the aggressor’s sword and say, “I spare your life!” The challenged can never revive the quarrel — the challenger may.

    Rule 6. If A gives B the lie, and B retorts by a blow (being the two greatest offenses), no reconciliation can take place till after two discharges each, or a severe hit; after which B may beg A’s pardon humbly for the blow and then A may explain simply for the lie; because a blow is never allowable, and the offense of the lie, therefore, merges in it. (See preceding rules.)

    N.B. Challenges for undivulged causes may be reconciled on the ground, after one shot. An explanation or the slightest hit should be sufficient in such cases, because no personal offense transpired.

    Rule 7. But no apology can be received, in any case, after the parties have actually taken ground, without exchange of fires.

    Rule 8. In the above case, no challenger is obliged to divulge his cause of challenge (if private) unless required by the challenged so to do before their meeting.

    Rule 9. All imputations of cheating at play, races, etc., to be considered equivalent to a blow; but may be reconciled after one shot, on admitting their falsehood and begging pardon publicly.

    Rule 10. Any insult to a lady under a gentleman’s care or protection to be considered as, by one degree, a greater offense than if given to the gentleman personally, and to be regulated accordingly.

    Rule 11. Offenses originating or accruing from the support of ladies’ reputations, to be considered as less unjustifiable than any others of the same class, and as admitting of slighter apologies by the aggressor: this to be determined by the circumstances of the case, but always favorable to the lady.

    Rule 12. In simple, unpremeditated recontres with the smallsword, or couteau de chasse, the rule is — first draw, first sheath, unless blood is drawn; then both sheath, and proceed to investigation.

    Rule 13. No dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case. The challenger ought not to have challenged without receiving offense; and the challenged ought, if he gave offense, to have made an apology before he came on the ground; therefore, children’s play must be dishonorable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited.

    Rule 14. Seconds to be of equal rank in society with the principals they attend, inasmuch as a second may either choose or chance to become a principal, and equality is indispensible.

    Rule 15. Challenges are never to be delivered at night, unless the party to be challenged intend leaving the place of offense before morning; for it is desirable to avoid all hot-headed proceedings.

    Rule 16. The challenged has the right to choose his own weapon, unless the challenger gives his honor he is no swordsman; after which, however, he can decline any second species of weapon proposed by the challenged.

    Rule 17. The challenged chooses his ground; the challenger chooses his distance; the seconds fix the time and terms of firing.

    Rule 18. The seconds load in presence of each other, unless they give their mutual honors they have charged smooth and single, which should be held sufficient.

    Rule 19. Firing may be regulated — first by signal; secondly, by word of command; or thirdly, at pleasure — as may be agreeable to the parties. In the latter case, the parties may fire at their reasonable leisure, but second presents and rests are strictly prohibited.

    Rule 20. In all cases a miss-fire is equivalent to a shot, and a snap or non-cock is to be considered as a miss-fire.

    Rule 21. Seconds are bound to attempt a reconciliation before the meeting takes place, or after sufficient firing or hits, as specified.

    Rule 22. Any wound sufficient to agitate the nerves and necessarily make the hand shake, must end the business for that day.

    Rule 23. If the cause of the meeting be of such a nature that no apology or explanation can or will be received, the challenged takes his ground, and calls on the challenger to proceed as he chooses; in such cases, firing at pleasure is the usual practice, but may be varied by agreement.

    Rule 24. In slight cases, the second hands his principal but one pistol; but in gross cases, two, holding another case ready charged in reserve.

    Rule 25. Where seconds disagree, and resolve to exchange shots themselves, it must be at the same time and at right angles with their principals, thus:

    If with swords, side by side, with five paces interval.

    N.B. All matters and doubts not herein mentioned will be explained and cleared up by application to the committee, who meet alternately at Clonmel and Galway, at the quarter sessions, for that purpose.

    Because there a rules each quarreling party must abide by this appears to be the ideal solution, particularly because both parties enter into the duel voluntarily.  Instead of getting the Shitposter’s employer involved, the Politician simply could demand an apology.  If…more likely when, the Shitposter refused, she could then defend her honor by challenging the Shitposter to a duel.  The American rules appear to have provisions in the event swords are chosen.  Because I can count on one hand the number of people I know that can handle a sword thanks to his medieval sword fighting hobby, I assume most people will choose pistols.

    Furthermore, there would necessarily have to be some kind of referee involved, if nothing else to file the forms with the local courts and probably the Sheriff’s office.  I suggest we keep this modest and not have duels wind up like this:

    ”Swords or pistols.”

    ”Kel-Tec KSG”

    ”…can you at least tell me where to find one?”

    Pistols would need to be kept simple as possible.  In the past, this was easy enough given the prevailing technology at the time meant sister smoothbore, flintlock pistols of various style and caliber.  Heavy triggers, slow ignition, limited practical accuracy, and at least one of duelists having the good sense to chicken out at the last second reduced the likelihood that somebody was going to die.  A modern Glock 17 might be suicidal.  A .22LR, single action revolver might be more prudent.  Why .22?  If I don’t want to get shot with a .22, I sure as hell don’t want to get shot with a .38…

    A referee to ensure adherence to the rules, and provide a witness in the event the duel turns into murder, means the quarrel ends fairly.  I assume only three or four people will necessarily have to die because they called somebody a Nazi over disagreement on an excise tax on soda.  Once this happens, people might choose their words just a little more carefully, or at the very least not attempt to endanger their livelihood because they criticized a politicians actions.  Somebody criticizing your actions comes with the territory of being a politician, and your opinions being expressed on a public forum are subject to interpretation and criticism by the public.  Grow up.

    As for the beer.  This is sweet.  In fact I will go so far as to say it is probably too sweet for Sugarfree.  It is essentially a nut brown ale with a touch of maple, which results in the beer tasting an awful lot like pecan pie, which I happen to like. Highwater Brewing Sugaree Maple Pecan Pie: 2.4/5

     

  • Let’s defend a Nazi

    I seem to struck a nerve with my intransigence over Game of Thrones.  So I guess I might as well pick on another item of social significance.

    This is my review of Four Peaks Xerocole IPA

    Okay I am kidding.  Seinfeld isn’t a terrible show, but I do agree with the opinion the humor and plotlines of many episodes can be a bit dated from time to time.  There are however, certain episodes that will stand up as well as any.  One such example is Season 7, Episode 6:  The Soup Nazi.

    Seriously, this episode is way better than the episode of M*A*S*H* where the Korean lady suffocates a chicken.

    I will cover the main points for context but if you want to check out the entire script here’s a link, or I am sure you can look around the internet and find the episode somewhere.  It begins where the sociopaths Jerry, Elaine, and George are discussing which movie theater they would like to visit when Jerry suggests one in particular because it is near a place that sells soup. In spite of Elaine’s preference for a burger at that time, Jerry continues to rave about the place but there is one caveat:

    ELAINE: Boy, I’m in the mood for a cheeseburger.

    JERRY: No. We gotta go to the soup place.

    ELAINE: What soup place?

    GEORGE: Oh, there’s a soup stand, Kramer’s been going there.

    JERRY: He’s always raving. I finally got a chance to go there the other day, and I tell you this, you will be stunned.

    ELAINE: Stunned by soup?

    JERRY: You can’t eat this soup standing up, your knees buckle.

    ELAINE: Huh. All right. Come on.

    JERRY: There’s only one caveat — the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.

    The ordering procedure; here is where I defend the Soup Nazi.  There are a number of places in nearly any city that has a particular procedure one must follow to order.  The pizza joint I frequently patronize doesn’t take names for phone orders, they give you an order number and expect you to give it to them when you pick it up.  Many even developed a jargon to ordering.  Some of these places might be stricter than others when asking to adhere to such places but I will give a few examples, feel free to point out others.

    • In-N-Out Burger.  They only have a few items on their menu, but they actually have a “sort of Secret Menu” on their website, that should you go up to any In-N-Out and ask for an item off this menu, they will be more than happy to make it.  Then there is this.  I am not endorsing In-N-Out.  I personally don’t think it’s that great, and honestly no fast food burger really is.
    • Geno’s (Philadelphia).  There’s a lingo to ordering a cheesesteak.  Should you find yourself there and don’t want to look like moron and subject yourself to Philly’s signature hospitality, they explain how on their website.
    • Starbucks.  There really isn’t anything unusual about ordering here, but I think this is more of a principled stand against something that often manifests itself at a Starbucks.  If there is a line with 20 people in it, know what the hell you are ordering BEFORE you arrive at the counter.  It’s just coffee, there’s nothing abnormal about it, and if what you want is one of their coffee cocktail…things, the menu has a decent enough explanation of what’s in it to know by the time you get to the counter.  It’s a common courtesy that I hope doesn’t have to be mentioned here.

    It is in this spirit the Soup Nazi had his ordering procedure.  For further background, this episode is actually based on a real place, and the Soup Nazi is a real person, who recently filed for bankruptcy.  As you might be able to see from the photo from the featured image, it isn’t a large venue.  The ordering procedure the Soup Nazi requested is primarily meant to keep the line moving.  As Jerry explains:

    JERRY: All right. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right. […] The main thing is to keep the line moving.

    GEORGE: All right. So, you hold out your money, speak your soup in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive.

    JERRY: Right. It’s very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.

    That’s it.  That’s his requirements.  The instances where the Soup Nazi throws the main characters out of the shop is where they interrupt the flow of the line.  George gets his soup taken away over his complaint he didn’t get any bread.  Before it is pointed out this is a legitimate complaint–it is, however he did get his money back and the next time they gave him bread with his order.  Elaine was tossed out because she took forever to order, and tried to make small talk with the Soup Nazi (“Did anyone ever tell you, you look like Al Pacino…WHOOAH”).  Later she went in to thank him for a piece of furniture, which angered him because he didn’t think Kramer was going to give it to somebody so eagerly willing to aggravate him and interrupt the line of customers…again.  Another was kicked out because he tried to be cute and order partially in Spanish; the Soup Nazi might have just been a dick there.

    Supposedly the actual owner of the Soupman was offended by the entire episode, and upon recognizing them, threw out Jerry Seinfeld and the rest of the cast when they visited.  He…also tried in vain to not pay federal taxes, hence filing Chapter 13.

    Does this really sound like somebody we should hate?  I contend he is not.  This is nothing more than an entrepreneur that has a extremely desirable product, but limited capacity for space to deliver his product.  His simple demands to keep the line moving are met with such contempt, Elaine’s only recourse is to publish his secret recopies and ruin his business.

    Now the beer in question is a local beer, and one I plan to sent to my BIF recipient, regardless of his distaste for IPA…. it was released earlier this month and went straight to tall can territory.  It does have a dry, biting IPA flavor we all love to hate, but it is also reasonably light and refreshing.  Before it is pointed out this is a contradiction–it is, however even I have purchased this on more than one occasion so it isn’t too bad.  Four Peaks Xerocole IPA: 3.0/5

  • Its finally over.

    TW:  Spoilers…sort of.

    Today is Saturday.  This means I have about 30 hours until the only adult activity in my house will involve dropping everything, turning off all the lights and….watching Game of Thrones.   I don’t hate it, but I don’t get it either.  I first came across GoT while I was living in Colorado.  I was visiting my parents who were into the show from the beginning of Season 1.  I noted the terrible effects, poorly choreographed fight scenes and the fact that Boromir finally found a universe that won’t kill him.

    This is my review of Trader Joe’s Providential Golden Belgian Ale (made by Unibroe)

    Too bad for Boromir though, he just can’t catch a break.

    I’ll show you what I can REALLY do with a bottle of Wesson Oil.

    Unfortunately, others including my wife tried getting me to read the books.  I stopped sometime around the albino wolf.  I didn’t get around to watching it until midway through this last season.  So my analysis of this show starts around the time K.I.T.T., flaming-sword guy, hilarious asshole, and freaky-eyed ginger dude, all go on the other side of Trump’s wall to capture a zombie-Mexican.  I couldn’t understand what the deal was.  They needed to capture a Mexican to convince the fake blonde, and/or evil Carol Brady they need to help the Scots defeat Mr. Freeze and his army of zombie-Mexicans?

    What was the point if the wall was made out of ice, and Northern Scotland was going to continue to be in nuclear winter for the next ten years, couldn’t they just fortify Trump’s wall with MORE ICE?  There doesn’t seem to be a shortage of SNOW and ICE in Northern Scotland–make the ICE wall stronger or something by adding more ICE.

    In the next scene we see Wee-Man giving the fake blonde excellent advice for any government figure, that sometimes the best choice is to do nothing.  Nope. We gotta do SOMETHING, so we’re saving K.I.T.T., flaming-sword guy, hilarious asshole, and freaky-eyed ginger dude.  To the Dragons!  Where they pull two classic TV mistakes of provoking the marauding horde, and staying in the LZ way longer than necessary and paid dearly for it.  Don’t they do CSAR in Northern Scotland?  Provide cover fire, land, mount up, and get the hell out of dodge.  Now they have to deal with Mr. Freeze slaying and resurrecting–a zombie dragon.

    I bet they wish they just fortified Trump’s wall now.  Nothing is stopping the zombie-Mexicans from overrunning Trump’s wall, and evil Carol Brady is just going to let them get run over.

    Now that the fearless crew have returned to the Scotland with their zombie-Mexican safely in a crate, we find out through the magic of dramatic irony that while K.I.T.T. is doing it with fake blonde–she is his aunt.  Seriously?  Is it really any wonder why incest-porn is a thing now?  Whatever, they’re royalty.

    The next season begins with Northern Scotland being ground zero for the zombie-Mexican invasion.  Northern Scotland is greeted by an enormous army of black Spartans and Turkish Mongols.  How do they deal with the logistics of three armies being in one place in the dead of winter?  Who cares, these are zombie-Mexicans due to arrive at any minute.  We also find out that fake blonde does not play well with either of K.I.T.T.’s sisters: slender ginger and wide-eyes. Its cool though, because we are further reinforced that K.I.T.T. and fake blonde are related when he mounts a dragon, and doesn’t die.  Other plot lines involving awkward moments between other characters also occur, thankfully not between siblings.

    The battle for Helm’s Deep!  I think.  I couldn’t see anything because they decided to shoot the entire episode through a camera lens coated with Wesson Oil and shot it at night.  K.I.T.T., crazy-eyed ginger dude, flaming sword guy, hilarious asshole, the Storm Trooper captain from the new Star Wars, Goldfinger (evil Carol Brady’s brother), Wee-Man–screw it.  Nobody of consequence to the story dies at Helm’s Deep, and all manage to fight off a zombie dragon, zombie-Mexicans, plus …zombie-Scots, zombie-black Spartans, and zombie Turkish-Mongols. That is, except for Mr. Freeze.  Apparently wide-eyes is some kind of super assassin who stabs him under the ribs with a dagger made by magic Romans, thus killing all the zombie Mexicans, Scots, black Spartans, Turkish-Mongols, and dragons.

    It is here we get to a point in the storyline that seems to have surprised “people” on the “internet.”  This entire time they all thought fake blonde was somebody worthy of admiration.  Even Elizabeth Warren got it wrong, granted that is par for the course for her.  They want a do-over.  I for one saw that fake blonde has been an evil, impulsive, power-hungry tyrant the entire time–they all just thought she was the candidate most likely to be a “good” leader.  —Spoiler Alert— Everyone vying for the throne is either evil or stupid.

    Everyone all seemed to miss this.  It was foreshadowed by parts like where she required everybody to bow down to her for her help.  How she didn’t purchase her army of black-Spartans, she just ordered her then toddler dragons to murder the guy selling her the army.  In fact, she pretty much burned all of her enemies to a crisp for the transgression of being against her; such as slave owners, other monarchs, the cue ball that was the only character that figured this out on his own, her brother, etc.  She told slender ginger the only goal she ever really had was to win back the throne, which she believed the entire time was rightfully hers–sort of like evil Carol Brady.

    Upon finding out she had relations with her nephew, instead of feeling slightly disgusted or acting in a manner to what any reasonable person would do (dousing themselves in Holy Water, for example) her first thought is that means K.I.T.T. technically has a claim to the throne more legitimate than hers.  Then she takes her dragons, one fresh off a fight with a zombie dragon, where he is clearly injured, and decided to attack a flotilla commanded by Captain Jack.  Predictably, Captain Jack brought that dragon down to the railroad track.

    So is the plot of last week’s episode really that surprising?  Not really.  Here’s a spoiler friendly version.

    For everyone else, they now see she is an evil, impulsive, power-hungry tyrant that will stop at nothing to achieve her objectives.  It doesn’t matter there are other people with claims to the throne that also made sacrifices towards that end.  It doesn’t matter an army surrendered and then were burned for their trouble along with an absurdly large medieval city.  It certainly doesn’t matter the throne she sought, was destroyed because she literally decided to burn the castle it was placed.

    …but this is definitely a person worthy of Elizabeth Warren’s admiration.  I’ll give you that.  Which reminds me, remember when Hillary compared herself to evil Carol Brady?

    Pepperidge Farms remembers.

    Is this beer any good?  Yes, it’s Unibroe and they make good stuff.  Since it is marketed under the Trader Joe’s brand it is a very reasonable $6.99.  It has excellent body, mild citrus notes, and overall is simply lovely.  I will go so far as to say it is better than this show, and the best part is that I can still buy it on Monday when I will be inundated with people in my office yammering on about GoT.  Trader Joe’s Providential Golden Belgian Ale:  3.9/5.

  • Secret Squirrel

    I recently took a short road trip to California…sorry, I didn’t try to light it on fire or anything.  I was there for a wedding.  Fortunately for me I managed to squirrel away an hour or so to meet up with another Glib to administer each other a Turing Test.

    This is my review of Smog City Saber-Tooth Squirrel Amber Ale (H/T:  Jesse.in.mb)

    With such a freakish label, this was a interesting gift considering the typical Glib’s fear of squirrels.  Fear not!  This gets better.  I actually misread it at first thinking it said “Secret Squirrel.”

    “Secret Squirrel” is a slang term.  It is one of those phrases that comes up from time to time that brings a small chuckle, because seriously how we make up words and phrases like this and give it random meaning?

    Slang has a bad rep; gets a bad rap. Negative value judgments: “sub-standard,” “low,” “vulgar,” “unauthorized”. The word we are seeking is street. Street as noun, more recently street as adjective. The vulgar tongue. The gutter language. It’s a truly man-made language. Women are objects, never subjects. Maybe it’s not just the street but that corner where the guys hang.

    Slang has a story, and that story has universal themes. Slang’s thematic range is not wide, though its synonymy runs very deep, and one can see the same ideas recurring from classical Greek and Latin onwards. Even if the individual terms that make up the vocabulary may be dismissed as “ephemeral” — and more stay than disappear — the persistence of these themes ensures that slang lasts.

    That totally doesn’t answer my question, and since it’s Huffpo I don’t blame you for skipping that link altogether.  Now my English teacher informed me this type of speech came about in small communities, often as technical jargon.  While this is true to a point, slang terms as part of language was developed in the 16th century among gamblers, in saloons, and among people that were otherwise deemed criminal. This led to the discouragement of such terms among academics and the elite, because of its association with societal miscreants.

    “Secret Squirrel” of course, means something that should be kept secret, like basic mission plans, troop movements, flight schedules, and the like.  I like to think the origin is from Ill Will Press, where the character Foamy the Squirrel partakes in missions to spread his squirrely rage among things he hates the most…like Starbucks.  Foamy is hilarious.

    Nope, its origin actually dates to the first Gulf War:

    Secrecy was vital for several reasons. The Air Force wanted the CALCMs to be a complete surprise if they were ever employed. Also, externally, the AGM-86Cs were almost indistinguishable from their nuclear counterparts and might, if revealed, derail or at least complicate pending arms control agreements with the USSR. Lastly, only a few GPS satellites were in operation in the late 1980s and an enemy, knowing when the satellites would be in position, might also know when to expect the missiles and thus when to prepare for them.

    Flight testing began in August 1987, and a year later the CALCM was declared operational. More than three dozen were put into storage igloos at Barksdale, where they waited for three years.

    When Iraqi forces rolled into Kuwait on August 2, 1990, US forces in the region were few and certainly not up to the task of repelling an invasion of Saudi Arabia.

    The CALCMs were unsheathed. “We stood them up on alert because we were trying to give the national command authorities some options,” recalled Lt. Gen. Buster C. Glosson, one of the Persian Gulf air war’s chief architects and targeters.

    Air Force leaders advised the National Security Council that CALCMs were available to send against Iraq’s command, control, and communications nodes, its electrical grid, and other high-value targets, all within a day’s flying time.

    “We wanted to give them a capability, even though admittedly it was limited,” General Glosson said, “because at that point in time there weren’t that many other options available for any action the President might have wanted to take.”

    Because of the limited number of CALCMs, and the inability to follow through immediately with a wider air campaign, the weapon chiefly offered a chance to make “a political statement” rather than deal a crippling blow, General Glosson said.

    Lt. Col. Jay Beard, commander of the 596th Bomb Squadron, was ordered to get ready. Access to the CALCM had been kept “to an absolute minimum,” Colonel Beard said. Only one crew–which had flight-tested the weapon–was available to operate it. More would be needed to carry out the kind of strike Strategic Air Command had offered the White House.

    In just a few weeks, fifteen crews were introduced to the “Secret Squirrel,” a moniker picked because “we couldn’t say the real code name [“Senior Surprise”] out loud, and it had the same initials,” noted Maj. Steve Hess, chief weapon system officer for the unit.

    TL/DR version:  In the late 80’s the Air Force shoved a cruise missile into a B-52, and decided to drop them on strategic targets in the opening days of the war.  Knowledge of the project was kept to a minimum number of people.

    The sad part is as I looked into this, I found blurbs of an old cartoon by Hannah-Barberra.

    Is this beer any good?  Of course it is, but not just because it was a gift.  It is an amber ale.  It had been a while since I had an amber since it is somewhat out of season in Arizona and I simply was not interested in picking up Fat Tire.  This one is overall balanced to the hoppy end of the spectrum, but not overpowering.  If it is available in the area, I highly recommend it.  Smog City Saber-Tooth Squirrel Amber Ale:  4/5

  • Spring BIF 2019 [Note: This is a pinned post – scroll down for new content]

    The time is upon us.  It’s time to start signing up for the Spring BIF (Beer It Forward, if you don’t know what it is yet, click here).  Signing up will mean you’ll be both receiving, and responsible for shipping, between 72-96 ounces of locally produced beer from and to another participant.  You will be required to at least provide your general location (to avoid shipping to someone you could just drive the beers to). If you wish to include swag (glasses, stickers, coasters, shirts, etc) from the local breweries, it is encouraged, but not required.

    For shipping beer, you can look at this guide to see about the best packaging and shipping methods.  I generally recommend cans and crowlers (32 oz cans filled and sealed at a brewery/bar) over bottles (and strongly recommend against growlers).  Do not ship USPS, as it is a felony.

    To sign up, I’d ask you to e-mail me at my handle at the mail of Google, as well as posting in this thread.  In your e-mail to me, at least provide your handle and general location. If you have beer preferences or dislikes, then please include those as well.  At some point you will need to provide your address to someone so that they can ship to you (if you provide it to me, I’ll pass it along).

    I will also do my best to avoid having any previous participant from shipping to someone they’ve shipped to before.  This is a great way to learn about beers that aren’t available in your area, and to share your favorite local beers with someone elsewhere in the country.  I’d like to keep sign ups open up until about May 18th, with the plan of having everything shipped by June 7th.

  • Fitting, given the Mexican holiday

    …but you guys are alright, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  In light of yet another passing of a holiday in Mexico that seems to be celebrated more in the United States because it is a convenient marketing pitch for companies selling tequila, tortillas, Ford pickup trucks, etc.

    This is my review of Modelo Chelada

    Why on God’s Green Earth did I drink this?  Somebody here was yammering on about it for a couple days and probably thought he was being ignored.

    Then he/she/xe/ did it again the next day to a much less…tepid response.

    I assure you, just because something is terrible does not mean it is fake.

    What is this crap anyways?  Chelada, or Michelada is a popular Mexican drink.  The difference being that Michelada contains spices and chilli.  No spices and chillies are not necessarily the same thing, but that is another matter for another time.  Chelada is simply beer served in a chilled glass, with lime, and a salt rim like a Margarita.  I decided this would be less nauseating than the Michelada in a can.  If you want to actually have a Michelada or a Chelada cocktail, might I suggest actually making the cocktail, which I leave the below recipe:

    Ingredients

    – 2teaspoons honey (spread into a thin layer on a plate)
    – 1/4cup kosher salt
    – 1/2teaspoon smoked paprika
    – 1/8teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
    – 2limes (juiced, plus extra lime wedges to garnish)
    – 2cups beer (light Mexican)
    – 2 1/2teaspoons worcestershire sauce
    – 2teaspoons hot sauce (preferably a more vinegar based hot sauce such as Tabasco)
    – 1teaspoon low sodium soy sauce
    – 1/2jalapeno (seeded and diced, optional)
    – cracked black pepper (freshly)
    Directions:
    1. Dip the rims of two glasses into the honey. (you want only a very thin layer)
    2. Place salt, paprika and cayenne (if using) onto a plate and stir together with a fork until combined. Finish rimming glasses with salt mixture, fill with ice and set aside.
    3. Fill a large shaker partially with ice followed by the remaining ingredients, except for the jalapeno. Close and shake until well mixed. Divide mixture among the two prepared glasses and finish with lime wedges, black pepper and jalpaenos (if using). Serve.

    How is it in cans?  Well to be honest I might be inclined to buy Modelo in the tall can again in the future, but not necessarily the Chelada version.  It’s more or less like the abominable lime in the Corona thing that everyone seems to think is fashionable.  Seriously, it’s just beer and lime, and adding salt tickles the salt receptors on the tongue.  No, this is not urine.  Stop telling yourself that.  No, this does not exist because there is no potable water in Mexico.  The totality of slightly palatable seawater mixed with beer and lime leads me to believe this has to be some kind of awful trick played on Gringos.

    Indeed it is. Modelo Chelada 1.5/5

     

     

  • Back to Beer!

    Easter passed.  I can drink beer now.  But of all the beer on Earth I can now drink, which should it be?

    This is my review of Guinness Milk Stout.

    Yes you read that correctly, milk stout.  One of the first things I discovered in Ireland was Guinness makes an entire line of beer for sale all over Ireland.  The actual first thing I discovered?  Not every toll booth on the M50 has a human working in it, so should you find yourself confused by road signs in English and Gaelic, and at a toll without a human…have exact change.  The second thing I discovered?  Not a single Dubliner honked waiting for my wife to dismount and walk over to a booth that could give us change for €20.   None.  They didn’t care.

    WTF does that say?

    As far as others I got a chance to sample…

    O’hara’s  leann folláin (left).  No idea how that is pronounced and I am glad I found this one.  I got it at a supermarket in Clontarf near the hotel I was staying at. They do make a barrel age version, but since I don’t recommend paying Irish taxes I went with this one.  Traditional Irish dry stout, like Guinness but overall has a more complex maltiness.  Seems to be made with more regard; I highly recommend. 4.2/5

    (right)Next stop was in Killarney where I spent the next couple of days.  I found this at a local pub where I discovered they play a version of soccer with their hands.  This was pretty solid, but not anything to write home about.  Killarney Irish Red. 3/5.

     

     

     

    Hop House 13.  Made by Guinness.  This is pretty much everywhere in Ireland, and they do a good job of making sure you are aware it exists.  Ever had Spitfire?  Its like that.  Apparently everything Guinness makes is made with their coveted in-house yeast, which makes for a lager that is mostly confused given that Guinness is an ale.  Its a translager. 2.5/5

    Later I moved up to the North where I had the aforementioned Carlsberg Unfiltered.  Belfast is pretty cool, but not surprisingly struck me as a rough town.

    Finally, returned to Dublin where I picked up a couple of stouts at the airport because exchanging Euro to Dollars sucks.  I just didn’t think the Czech girl was going to open it for me at 0745.  If this brings to mind their infamous foreign export stout, this lives up to the hype. Guinness West Indies Porter 4.7/5

    Which meant I was saving the milk stout for when I got back home.  I wish the Czech girl at the airport opened this to be honest but it’s still pretty good.  Sweeter than regular Guinness and doesn’t hide behind a mountain of nitrogen fueled foam.  Guinness Milk Stout:  4/5

  • My First Time

    It was 1998 or so, I can’t place it exactly.  My friend B worked for a company with a client in Southern Indiana.  He heard from some co-workers about this place with really good pizza and an unheard of beer selection.  As a fan of craft beer, such as it was in Kentucky at the time,  it sounded like a place worth the trip.

    Before the rest, here is a little backstory, as best as I understand it.  There was a sports bar called Sportstime Pizza.  Not a creative name, but it was exactly what it was.  They served the expected BMC beers, in regular and light versions, along with a better pizza than you would expect.  Their specialty was a deep dish that is closer to Detroit-style than Chicago-style, but not quite that either.  Let’s just call it New Albany style pizza, because I have never run into exactly it anywhere else.  The son-in-law of the owner convinced the father-in-law to let him open the space next door in the strip mall.  They would share the kitchen and the new place would serve craft and foreign beers.  At the beginning, they served Bud, Miller, and Coors, but never light beer.  Or Lite.  There wasn’t much at first, I think for the first month Guinness was the only option.  But by the time of this story, Rich O’s, as the place was called, had an extensive list of American craft and foreign beers, on bottle and on tap.  A death and a divorce later, the two daughters and an ex-husband would combine them into one name, New Albanian Brewing Company.  But everyone still calls the two sides Sportstime and Rich O’s.

    Back to the story, as I knew none of that at the time.  I was enjoying good pizza and good beer, trying some beers I had never had before, but in styles that I was comfortable with.  I wasn’t pushing the envelope.  My friend and I ended up in conversation with the two very drunk guys at the next table.  That were drinking beers from wine-sized bottles.  They had gone through at least a ½ dozen bottles between them.  They were regulars and were leaving the next day for a hunting trip in Canada to hunt beer or moose or elk or something.  When they discovered they neither of us had ever tried Belgian beer, they bought us a bottle of Chimay Grande Reserve.

     

    That night, my life changed.  I had never tasted anything like that beer before.  Learning more about beer, trying everything I could, homebrewing, starting a brewery, all these events could be traced back to that night.  Chimay Blue will always be one of my favorite beers.  If you want to tell me that St Bernardus ABT 12 is a better beer in that style, I won’t argue with you.  It might even be true.  I have never had Westy, but most who have say it is better.  But those beers don’t have the history.  There isn’t an emotional attachment.

    I don’t know what happened to these guys.  B and I have joked over the years that they were eaten by bears.  I do know we never saw them at Rich O’s again, as often as we were there.  They may have gotten a DUI on their way home and never made it to Canada.  Lots of possibilities.  But whenever I drink a Chimay, as I did while celebrating my 5th wedding anniversary recently, I think back to over 20 years ago, and toast them with my Chalice.