Since Thanksgiving there have been two strains of comments among the commentariat that read the GlibFit articles. First, those of you who in some way, shape, or form, write something related to the article to help your fellow Glibertarian. Second, the few who think trying to exercise and/or eat right between Thanksgiving and New Years Day is a fool’s errand.
As part of the discussion, one of you offered up chrononutrition. I’ve looked back through the comments and tried doing some searches on the site to find who to credit but my web skills are poor. Whoever posted this article, thank you.
I’m no scientician but I found the ideas in the article intriguing. The author was obviously aware of the Glibertarian audience for his work. He kindly gave us a TL; DR version:
Circadian biology plays a fundamental role in human health.
Research has shown that nutrient ingestion can impact our “body clocks” in peripheral tissues around the body, suggesting that when we eat our meals can have implications for health via influencing circadian rhythms.
In addition, it has been hypothesized that having a restricted feeding window (time-restricted feeding) can have beneficial impacts on body composition and health, likely via circadian effects at least in some part.
A related hypothesis suggests that the distribution of calories over the day (majority eaten early vs. late) can also have health impacts.
My personal interpretation of the current literature available leads me to tentatively conclude that, in general, the following heuristics would be beneficial for many people to follow: 1) avoid eating during biological night, 2) avoid meals, particularly those high in fat and/or carbohydrates, close to DLMO (or say, at least ~2-3 hours pre-sleep), 3) bias more calories to earlier in the day (i.e. don’t eat a high proportion of your daily calories in the late evening), 4) have consistent meal times and meal frequency from day-to-day, 5) have some restricted feeding window (start with <12 hours per day, but no ideal is yet known), 6) get daylight exposure early in the day and avoid artificial light (blue and green wavelengths of light specifically) as much as is pragmatically reasonable at night.
There are several caveats and exceptions to the above heuristics. Implications may be different for athletes, for those trying to gain weight, for those who such heuristics undermine adherence to nutrition fundamentals, and in situations where social interactions and fun should be prioritized.
I’m going to give this a try. I’ll probably need to eat a bigger breakfast and lunch. Adding a more substantial afternoon snack should make it easier to eat a smaller dinner. Eating more than two hours, much less three, before going to sleep is going to be a challenge. I tend to have long workdays. I’ll need to work this one out. Though I will say all the late-night banter makes it easier even if it does deprive me of the sleep I need (I’m looking at you Sir Digby, CPRM, Festus, and Straffinrun.)
Let us know in the comments if you have used these ideas and how they worked (or didn’t) for you. I’m curious to know if anyone with experience finds this sustainable (or not). I don’t mean perfectly abiding by this program at all times. I do mean making this a regular routine subject to life’s occasional disruptions.
Another angle I’m curious about is anyone who has done this and exercised at night. This is a possible exception as noted by the author. I’m reading David Goggins’ book in part to motivate me to up my fitness game. I strongly suspect this is going to mean, for me, continuing with lifting in the morning and adding HIIT and ab work in the evening after work. I can’t tell if that’s compatible with the author’s suggestions.
Remember the old Charles Atlas ad that ran in comic books? I do. When I was a kid, I was sure that if you were a big enough guy you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone picking on you. That may be largely true, but it overlooked all sorts of other things. I spent the first six years of my legal career practicing criminal defense. I was exposed to nearly every kind of deprivation one person could inflict on another person. Between that and my full-blown libertarianism, there was no doubt I would become a gun owner.
Fast forward umpteen years, I’m married, own a home and have two kids. One night in our low crime suburb, we accidentally left the garage door open overnight. Wifey’s car was burglarized. No one entered our house, but she was badly shaken up. She called the police to report the incident. I was at work when she did this. I came home to be told we had to get a dog for protection.
This didn’t compute for me. I knew she wasn’t talking about getting a trained attack dog especially with two young children in the house. No, it wasn’t that. The cop she spoke to told her to get a dog for protection. I laughed and told her if we were going to do anything it was get a shotgun. No, she replied, the cop said to get a dog.
I met wifey when we were both working as public defenders. I can’t adequately describe the mutual skepticism we shared about cops. Their truthfulness, training, “expertise,” note taking, record keeping, interview skills, and on and on. There wasn’t anything we didn’t criticize. Despite all this, she was insistent we had to get a dog. I was insistent we had to get a gun. So, in the best Glibertarian tradition we did both.
I bought a Mossberg 590. I love that gun. Wifey and I both got trained by a private instructor. I definitely caught the gun bug. Wifey not as much. I started looking at pistols. Life intervened in the form of all sorts of stuff with our kids (good lord those ankle biters take a lot of time) and Moe; my best fried for the last nine years.
Nine years later, one kid is off to college, the other is a teenager, and Moe is a grumpy old man. I finally have a glimmer of getting a little bit of time for myself. I’ve engaged in idle talk about finally buying a pistol. Wifey called my bluff. For our last anniversary she told me to go buy a pistol. I told her California requires a written test and I’m not buying a gun without having some idea how to safely handle it. For my birthday she bought me a basic handgun class which includes California’s ridiculous written test.
Yesterday I attended the class. It was taught by two active duty cops. One of them aspires to having Clancy Wiggum’s physique. The other is futilely trying to stave it off. They better be good with a gun because there is no way these guys could engage in anything physical for more than a minute without being completely winded.
The class was a mix of very useful safety information, completely irrelevant cop stories, and firing a Glock 17 under supervision. We constantly joke about cops believing the most important thing is they go home at the end of their shift. This mentality was confirmed during the class.
Now that I’ve banged on these guys enough, the safe handling and shooting instruction made it all worth it. I finished the class understanding how to safely handle a pistol. The live fire instruction was very helpful. I only fired twenty rounds. The instruction and feedback on how to properly hold the pistol, aim, and pull the trigger greatly improved my shooting in a short time. Now, I have to buy a pistol and go practice.
I’m strongly considering a Sig Sauer P226 or P229. My only concern is these aren’t striker type pistols so I’m wondering if this means I’ll be pulling shots due to the action. I’d love some feedback from handgun owning Glibs.
I am not a happy camper. I planned on taking most of Thanksgiving week off and then getting back to it this week. We went to New York for Thanksgiving and I never quite adjusted to the time change when we there and when we first returned. Between that and a bunch of late night activities, I came back tired.
This week was just lousy. I worked out some but missed a few days and I am pissed at myself. Maybe my crappy mood made me notice the crappy music in the gym. I swear there is some unspoken assumption that gym music just has to be the worst.
I don’t even recognize most of what gets played. Thanks to my daughters I did recognize a Jonas Brothers song and something by Billie Eilish. JFC. I’m supposed to workout to that? I don’t know if I heard the song but a voiceover in the gym told me they played something by Shawn Mendes. Also thanks to my daughters, I know his music isterrible.
The last time I regularly heard good music in the gym was when I was an undergraduate. The late, lamented WBCN was what that gym played. Their motto was something like “three hundred sixty degrees of rock n roll.” That sure as hell worked for me.
When I’m working out, particularly when I’m lifting, I want music that makes me feel like I can ram my head through concrete. If it can’t do that then at least make me feel like I want to involuntarily bang my head.
When I lose myself in a workout, I can get contemplative. There’s great music about the afterlife, politics, the drug war, or more on the drug war. Sure, the last one has a weird interlude but that’s the time to rest between sets.
When I’m done working out, I’m typically famished. I’ve got to eat.There’s music for that too.
I’m just unconvinced gyms have to play crappy music that’s as likely to put you to sleep as it is to make you wretch. Maybe you IP lawyer Glibs know something about the licensing aspect of this that will clear up my confusion. Let me know in the comments.
In short, fuck shitty gym music. Play something hard and fast
I’ll be up before 5 AM today driving to daughter 2’s volleyball tournament so I’m not sure how available I’ll be to comment.Since I may not be around, I’ve got three things to say here. Mojeaux can thank me later, that loud sploosh you heard came from MikeS, and yes I made a Texas music reference without it being a Digby-roll.
This one is going to be short but sweet because I’m writing this from the road while returning from celebrating wifey’s 50th birthday. Presumably, you’ve all sobered up from Thanksgiving. It’s time to report in on your progress over the last four weeks.
I had two “tests” this past week. Athleanx’s AX1 program has a recurring test at the end of each 4-week cycle called the Athlean 400. It’s 100 pushups, 100 sit ups, 100 inverted rows, and 100 bodyweight squats. You can get these done in whatever grouping you choose. A month ago, I completed it in 17:43. This time I completed it in 15:06. I was really pleased with the improvement but was shooting for a sub 15-minute time to score at a higher level. I’m still calling that a win.
The second and more important test was the “Final X-AM.” I hate the corny names but that’s the only thing I dislike about this program. The Final X-AM requires 12 sets of ten reps and is also timed. The exercises are burpee pushups, dumbbell swings, inverted rows, and V-Up Russian twists. You must do one set of each (so basically a big super set) and then repeat until completed.
I’ll leave the scoring levels aside and cut to the chase. I had to complete this in 25 minutes or less to “graduate.” This test has seriously kicked my ass before. It’s humbling to be reminded how far I have to go.
Four weeks ago, I completed ten of the sets in 32:20. I was winded, parched, and just dripping in sweat. I was also pissed at myself because I was tired but not totally gassed. I could have pushed on to finish even if I would have been over the 40-minute mark.
This time I finished but it took 37:23. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I was not even close to passing. But I’m finding the silver lining because I did finish, and my ten-set time dropped to 30 minutes. That’s an unofficial mark and I’ll probably ignore it going forward. It seemed relevant this time because of where I gave up last time.
My lats and conditioning were clearly weaknesses four weeks ago. I did much better on the inverted rows, but I have got to up my conditioning if I’m going to get my time down below 25 minutes.
I really wanted to move on to AX2 but clearly, I’m not ready. May Warty have mercy on my soul.
Here’s where you report on your progress. Our next check in will be the Sunday after Christmas. So, for the brave among you, also tell us what your goals for the next check in.
I was carrying more weight than I wanted and had to do something about it. As my best friend says when he must lose weight, “I was pushing maximum density.”
Moe
I like running and I’ve run on and off for decades. But regular running was off the menu. I used to run with Moe and his arthritis makes any sustained run impossible. Bros before hos and all that.
The concept behind HIIT is simple. You do an exercise at high intensity for a relatively short amount of time, have a short rest or short interval of low intensity work, and repeat. How many times you repeat depends on your condition and what you want to achieve.
One of the great things about HIIT is you don’t necessarily need any equipment. Here’s a 10-minute HIIT workout that doesn’t require any equipment. (You’re welcome cisgender Glibbroads.) Okay, you literal bastards. You need a floor. Tough crowd.
Here’s another one that’s 20 minutes. (You’re welcome cisgender Glibdudes.) Really with what’s being demonstrated it could be any length you want. No more slacking of NoDak glibs (I’m looking at you MikeS). Cold weather is no longer an excuse.
But Chafed I only have 5 minutes to work out! FFS there’s always a way. Get moving.
If you are willing to spend a modest amount of coin you can get a jump rope and some plyo boxes. Part of my program is doing Bumps and Jumps. The bumps are burpee pushups. The jumps are jumps on to a plyo box around knee high. I use an 18” box. In a minute do 10 burpee pushups. Whatever part of the minute you don’t use you get to rest. In the next minute do 12 box jumps. Whatever part of the minute you don’t use you can rest. The first time I did it I was gassed after six minutes.
If you want to get out, then put on a pair of running shoes. You aren’t going for a distance run. You are going to sprint. You can mix this up however you want. If you are on a track, then spring the straight part and jog or walk the curves. Run 20 seconds, jog 20 seconds, and walk 20 seconds. You get the idea. You can mix it up how you like in whatever way your conditioning allows. The important part is to go all out for part of it, reduce the intensity for a bit, and repeat.
I don’t know why improving my HIIT training is so strangely satisfying. When I ran for distance, I was proud when I increased the length of run. For some reason I can’t explain, I’m fist pumping psyched when I’m able to add another interval or two.
A reminder that next week we all report in on what we achieved during the past four weeks.
For anyone who has done any type of regular exercise for any length of time, you have almost certainly been told how important form is. Poor form either deprives you of the intended benefit or can lead to injuries. Proper form maximizes the exercises benefits and avoids injury.
Two exercises I have had the most trouble with are squats and deadlifts. For men (and I assume women but correct me if I’m wrong Glibbroads), these are foundational exercises. I could never get out of the starting gate, in part, because I royally screwed these up.
I started “squatting” in my twenties. I’m using quotes around squatting because my form was so bad I repeatedly injured myself. I read books that had diagrams and descriptions on how to squat. Some had pictures of bodybuilders squatting. And I still got it wrong.
That was nearly thirty years ago so I don’t clearly remember how I was led astray but I seem to recall being told to keep my legs about shoulder width apart, keep my back straight, and have my knees travel straight out over my toes. I scrupulously followed these instructions resulting in constantly pitching forward when I would squat. No question I was using my back during the lift. One suggestion was to put a 2X4 under my heels. That was stupid advice that I took it didn’t help.
Squatting like that gave me back trouble and, I think, knee trouble too. I didn’t do any deadlifting in my 20s. I don’t think it was in vogue at the time and nothing I read explained its importance. So, with an aching back and right knee that liked to remind me it was there, I skipped deadlifting altogether.
When I returned to lifting in my 50s, the idea of squatting was very unappealing. In fact, it was a bit scary. However, squatting and deadlifting are part of the AthleanX program so I either had to ditch the program or do both. I trust the creator of the program so I readily accepted both exercises could be done without injuring myself.
As much as I’ve gotten from the videos and explanations Jeff Cavaliere provides for the exercises, I still couldn’t get my squat right. It was better but still a bit off. So, I searched YouTube and found a modern-day Viking Alan Thrall. This is his video that finally made clear to me how to property squat.
After watching it a couple of times I wanted to reach back through time to choke out every f***ing author of the books I read in my twenties. Did they really not know to tell me the bar should be moving vertically the entire time? That I should be pushing with my midfoot? That my knees should be travelling out at roughly a 45-degree angle? I might have been spared a bunch of injuries and a thirty-year gap in squatting.
I’m truly grateful to Thrall. I’m finally able to squat with good form. I’m feeling it all in my legs, not my back. The day after leg day, I’m free of back pain and feeling it in my legs and ass.
Thrall has his own YouTube channel. I find some of his videos more helpful than others but overall, I recommend it. He has a heavy emphasis on good form and proper technique. Given my history that’s very important to me. He has couple more helpful videos on squatting. You can find them here and here.
Getting my squat right gave me the confidence to try deadlifts. This is the AthleanX video on how to properly deadlift. Between that one and his Deadlift Checklist, I got enough to do these right. I have to stay super focused when I deadlift to maintain proper form. I have gotten distracted and every time that’s happened, I felt in my back for days afterward.
I hope these helped you Glibfitters. Tell us what exercises you screwed up in the past and how you found a way to do them right.
Am I the only one who feels like a fat fuck? Did everyone enjoy their Halloween? Maybe snacked on your leftover candy or your kid’s candy? Good. It’s goal setting time.
“But Chafed” you say, “I’m full of Halloween candy, I’m going to eat like a pig at Thanksgiving, and then there are office parties leading up to Christmas. Don’t even get me started on New Years Eve.” Look, I know you are a bunch of gluttonous, drunkards but you have to start some time. So, we are starting now.
Pick a goal that you will report back on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. What do you want to accomplish in four weeks? It can be anything: weight loss, distance run, amount of weight lifted, etc. Go with whatever works for you.
I told you last week that I’ve doing been AthleanX for the last two years. True confession time. It’s set up as a three-month program. At the end of each month you test. If you pass, then you go on to the next month. If you fail, then you repeat the month. Rinse and repeat.
I was seriously out of shape when I started. It was not uncommon for me to curse under my breath at myself, “you old, fat fuck.” I couldn’t even finish the test for Month 1 the first time I took it. That was sobering. Anyway, I tested for Month 3 last weekend and failed. My goal is to pass next time. Passing means doing 12 sets of the following in less than 25 minutes:
10 Burpee Pushups
10 Kettlebell Swings
10 Inverted Rows
10 V-Up Russian Twists
I need to cut off a lot time if I’m going to pass.
Here is where goal setting comes in for me. Having a time limit on when I’m going to accomplish this forces me to focus on what I need to do to prepare. My lats are my weak point and additional ab work will be helpful.
Having a time sensitive goal also makes each day critical. I was supposed to exercise 5 days this week. I’ll be in the gym Saturday night in order to get 4 in. What can I say? It was a tough week at work but I’m gutting it out instead of making an excuse not to go.
So, Glibbroads and Glibboys what will you publicly commit to for the Sunday after Thanksgiving?
P.S. No clever Babylon 5 links because Nephilium hasn’t commented on a single one. *sobs into pillow*
Now that we’re all back, the question becomes what to do. Saying you are going to work out is a far cry from knowing what you are going to do when you work out.
My return to fitness two years ago made me realize I was at something of a crossroads. When I was a young man, I wanted to be the biggest. badass possible. Reading ’80s bodybuilding magazines gave me a completely unrealistic idea of what was possible.There were times I spent hours in the gym trying to follow some workout routine that required dozens of sets. I was dumb enough to not realize how many of the top ranked bodybuilders were taking steroids and the published routines were the fitness equivalent of letters to Penthouse Forum. It’s no wonder I had so many injuries.
The question I asked myself this go ’round was, who are you? I’m now in my 50s, have a number of commitments, and am seriously pressed for time. So, what do you want? (Thank me later, Nephilium.) I wanted to get past my dad bod. OK, that’s a start but not terribly specific. I had a gut. I wanted to be trim. I wanted a six pack. That was a stretch because I never had one before. I wanted some muscle but wanted to look like a real person, not a cartoon. I also wanted my wind back. I enjoyed running and the endurance I had when I ran. But I knew I wasn’t going back to any sort of distance running.
The wife roped me into joining a gym. I floundered around for about a month. My form on some important lifts had gone to hell. I had a vague memory of some of the training I used to do but remembered those injuries. It was bad enough in 20s and 30s. In my 50s I imagined it being worse and possibly permanent.
I needed a plan. My wife was pushing for a personal trainer. No fucking way was I going that route. I saw what trainers had their clients doing. Some had no idea what they’re doing. Some seemed to know their stuff, but I wasn’t really sure. Listening to the chatter the trainers make with their clients drives me nuts. If I’m lifting, then STFU. I’m concentrating on what I’m doing. I don’t want to hear your blather.
I was running out of options. Until I remembered the internet knows everything. I stumbled through a bunch of stuff on Google then YouTube. YouTube was genuinely fascinating. There was some awful garbage and some invaluable advice. Video is a particularly helpful medium for demonstrating what to do. I’m going to go into some of the gems I found in future posts.
Among the really good advice I found was a guy named Jeff Cavaliere who has a channel called Athleanx. He’s a physical therapist and strength coach for pro athletes. His advice was eye opening. He has a ton of content of YouTube that’s all free. The call to action at the end of each video is to go to www.athleanx.com to check out their programs. Fine. Whatever pays the bills. The videos are complete videos that conveyed useful advice. More that that, this guy repeatedly emphasizes proper form, demonstrates it, and explains what makes it proper form. His tag line is, “If you want to look like an athlete then you have to train like an athlete.” He was speaking my language.
As a side note, Glibbroads (h/t Gender Traitor), this channel is still worth checking out even if you never want to see the inside of a gym. You won’t be disappointed with what you see. Same advice for gay Glibs who aren’t bear aficionados.
I don’t know how many videos I watched but it was a lot. This was the real deal and a good fit for me. I bought what I believe is his first program, AX1. I rediscovered just how out of shape I was. But I also had a plan. The plan was achievable, realistic, and could be done in an hour or less 5 days a week. I was hooked.
And so it begins. Who are you and what do you want? What will get you where you want to go?
Welcome back, Glibertariat. GlibFit has been on hiatus after successful runs by SUPREME OVERLORD Trshmnster and A Leap At The Wheel. You’re all worthless and weakbut we are back after a long layoff. Time to get back in shape.
Which brings us to today’s topic. Getting back to exercise after a long layoff. Layoffs can be any length of time and happen for all sorts of reasons. They result in us becoming all sorts of shapes and sizes.
I’ve had to get back to it more than once with varying degrees of success. When I moved to California to attend law school I was entranced by the weather. I can’t say all the women at the beaches were all out of aDavid Lee Roth video,but it was not uncommon to be hear thisrunning through my head. I was motivated to join a nearby gym and run regularly. Despite putting in long hours during law school, I got into pretty good shape; probably the best shape I had ever been in during my first thirty years on planet earth.
I was far from perfect during law school, but I was consistent. Graduation came and I relocated to a new city for my first job as a lawyer. I found a local gym, but it was a significant step down and the hours were kind of limited. My workouts started slipping. Not too long after starting work I met Mrs. Chafed. Between work I took seriously and a budding romance I no longer had time for the gym.
I sporadically made some effort to find another gym. After we were married, a new gym opened that was terrific. It was also poorly managed. It, and my workouts, lasted about a year. The gym closed, the first baby Chafed came along, Mrs. Chafed stopped working, I was now the only breadwinner and playing Mr. Mom. First Baby Chafed was definitely daddy’s girl so it was almost always me that got up at night when she was crying. The gym, working out, and being trim was fading into memory.
Cut to about eleven years later, we left the garage door open one night and Mrs. Chafed’s car was burglarized. She freaked out. The cop who took the report told her to get a dog. I tell her in no uncertain terms I am at full capacity and cannot handle another responsibility. Also, we were both public defenders and knew first–hand how stupid most cops are. We’ll get a gun I said. Hello Mossberg 590. Despite my vehement, unceasing objections, Mrs. Chafed went to the pound and got us a dog.
We welcomed Moe to the family. My fur child was then (maybe) a one-year old chocolate lab. Mrs. Chafed was surprised by how much energy he had. I groaned, rolled my eyes, ceaselessly reminded her this would happen, and took up running. We ran every weekday morning. Weekends were for the dog park.
Holy shit I was out of shape. Our first run I went about three quarters of a mile and thought I was going to die. Moe still had boundless energy and looked at me like the weak, winded, disappointment I was. I had no choice but to keep running. It was my only hope of getting to sleep through the night.
Run with Moe I did. Bit by bit I got my wind back, kept going a little further, and finally achieved my goal of running far enough that the dog was satisfied. Several daddy-doggy 5Ks also ensued. I was more or less in shape. Necessity called and I answered. My long layoff was over. That lasted about seven years until age and arthritis made Moe consider a somewhat slower lifestyle.
Well, I continued to run. Sort of. It broke my heart to leave without him. Those sad eyes and whimpering also made it hard. Getting another half hour or so of sleep was very appealing. Running fell by the wayside.
A couple of years go by when my wife joined a gym. She kept bugging me to join because “it will be a chance for us to spend time together.” Sure honey. *cough* bullshit *cough* After sufficient nagging I joined. Once again, holy shit I was out of shape. I truly felt worthless and felt genuinely weak. A month later,Mrs. Chafed moved on to private training. I was on my own.
It was decision time. I found a program I like (more about that in a future article) and decided to stay. That was two years ago.I’ve had shorter layoffs since getting back to the gym due to illness, but I’ve consistently made my way back. For me, wanting to go instead of having to go, is the best motivation.
What kept you from exercising? What brought you back? What kept you going once you got back?
Kayaking is a fun and safe recreational activity enjoyed by people at all levels of fitness and mobility. Kayaking can be done on almost any body of liquid water, but I’m going to focus on flatwater and stillwater paddling since that is the entry point and maximum level of attainment for most people. Kayaking is a good low-impact exercise and enables fishing, nature photography, and camping. Nothing beats the relaxation of a day on the water.
The most frequent question I get from people who have never kayaked is: “Do I have to learn how to flip the boat back up?” No. Ideally you won’t turn over, but if you do you swim free. Which inevitably leads to domanda numero due: “Do I have to be strapped in?” Again, the answer is “no.” Recreational kayaks are designed for easy exit – they have large cockpit openings and ample, unobstructed under-deck space. Plus, there is a new class of sit-on-top, self-draining kayak where no part of you is enclosed at all. To complete the trifecta of answers to questions I am frequently asked by non-boaters – no, they are not as tippy as you probably think; kayaks are designed to keep your center of gravity low which stabilizes things nicely.
“The kayak was first used by the indigenous Aleut, Inuit, Yupik and possibly Ainu hunters in subarctic regions of the world.” And those dudes were totally badass hunting seals and contending with orcas in frigid waters in boats made of hide and bones. Modern kayaks are almost exclusively made of rotomolded polyethylene plastic, with a small number of specialty boats made of fiberglass or wood.
Kayakers sit with their legs stretched out ahead of them and use a two-bladed paddle; as opposed to canoeists who kneel, or sit with legs tucked under, and use a one-bladed paddle.
The author in a sit-on-top boat designed for whitewater use, hence the straps and helmet.
Ideally your first kayak experience should be in the company of two or more experienced paddlers. Kayak enthusiasts often have extra boats and gear and will outfit you for your first trip. Etiquette tip – spring for beers afterwards for your guides and outfitters. Offer to serve as a shuttle monkey or lunch bunny if you want a second invite.
There are kayak rental concessions at/near various lakes and rivers, some of which offer guided trips. These people are very conscious of their liability and will not put their customers in harm’s way. If your first kayaking experience is with other inexperienced paddlers, start with a one or two hour rental on a quiet lake in a party of three or more people all of whom should know how to swim even though you will use the PFD (life vest) you are issued.
So, you do a trip and you have fun and decide to buy your own kayak. The type of kayak you should purchase depends on the type of kayaking you’ll be doing. If you’re going to be paddling on ponds and smaller lakes (collectively, stillwater) then you can get by with a cheap department store boat for around two hundred dollars. Inexpensive recreational kayaks can also be safely used on rivers with no rapids (flatwater), or on Class I-II whitewater – caution or instruction recommended for the latter.
At the absolute minimum you will also need: a PFD (aka life vest, and yes you really, really need one), paddle (you notice I put this behind PFD on the list, right?), whistle or air horn, and a broad-brimmed hat. Appropriate footwear is sandals with ankle straps (no flip-flops), water shoes such as Nike Aquasock, or wetsuit booties. Always have with you water, sunscreen and a snack. Usual outdoor safety and first aid equipment, but Glibs know this already.
Please don’t buy a cheap polyvinyl inflatable kayak, aka pool toy. These things are truly POS, puncture easily and are not durable. There is a better class of inflatable made of rubberized fabric, but those cost as much as a rigid boat; they do have the advantage of portability and compact storage.
If you want to do bigger water, want to take long trips, or haul lots of gear then you’re going to need a bigger, more durable boat than they sell at department stores.
A Tarpon model 130T (thirteen-foot, tandem) sit-on-top recreational boat. Two drain pipes in the rear cargo compartment, four in the front of the cockpit. The ridges are molded-in footbraces to accommodate various leg lengths.
If you want to do long downriver trips, or haul lots of gear then I recommend a sit-on-top, self-draining recreational kayak such as Wilderness Systems’ Tarpon line of boats. These boats are sturdy, stable and durable. Recently Wilderness replaced the rubber cargo hatches with hard plastic hinged hatches – much more durable and reliable. The drain pipes go all the way through from the top deck to the bottom deck without letting water into the space between decks. Perhaps counterintuitively, the drain pipes add a huge amount of structural integrity to the hull. These boats can do up to Class III whitewater, and can even surf a bit, but they are not nimble.
Obligatory Stirring Kayak Anecdote: During rescue operations in chilly whitewater I had two men in a one-person, sit-on-top boat, exceeding the rated cargo capacity by over one hundred pounds. Although the boat sat low in the water and the cockpit was partially flooded, the kayak remained floatworthy and maneuverable; when the extra man got out of the boat the water drained out within ten seconds and full floatworthiness was regained.
The only disadvantage to self-draining kayaks is that they are slower than traditional kayaks – the drain holes add drag. And while you sit higher in the water in a sit-on-top than in a conventional kayak, the designers compensate for that by making these boats extra-wide for added stability. The drain pipes also provide an easy way to secure the kayak against casual theft using a chain or cable lock.
Another Anecdote: One of the recreational boaters I’m trying to get to level-up has long been wary of trying my sit-on-top. Once she finally tried it she was impressed by the stability generally solid character of the craft to the point of jealousy.
If you want to do Class III+ whitewater and be able to surf (including ocean waves) and do tricks then you will need a whitewater kayak – these are made of thicker plastic than cheap recreational boats and have internal supports to keep them from being crushed like a soda can in rough water. You will need to learn to roll – contact your local paddling club, Parks and Rec (SLD), or YMCA about rolling classes which are often conducted in pools. Expect to spend $1,200-$1,600 for all new whitewater kayak, PFD, paddle, skirt and helmet. Whitewater boats are short, and by design easily tip and spin.
If you are going to do long treks on open water (ocean, sea, bay, sound, great lakes, etc) you will probably want a sea kayak. These boats are long and narrow, relatively stable, but don’t turn well. Many deepwater paddlers learn to roll in case they are swamped by waves or wakes. Some sea kayaks are equipped with sailing rigs, retractable keels for speed and tracking, and outriggers for stability.
There are also a few pedal-powered kayaks on the market where the pedal rotation powers underwater flaps which help propel the boat; paddles are used for turning and maneuvering, and for additional propulsion. Pedal drive boats are not recommended for water with lots of vegetation, underwater obstructions, etc. Some of those pedal units are removable.
Fiberglass boats are great if you are a competitive whitewater kayaker, competitive flatwater racer, squirt boater, or want to make your own boat. They are certainly light, but break in situations where a polyethylene boat would bend or dent.
Wooden boats are so very pretty, but they are heavy and expensive. You don’t see many of them in river kayaking as the owners tend to avoid anything that might scrape them up, like rocks.
Buying a used boat is often a good way to break into the sport on the cheap without sacrificing equipment quality. Scrapes and scratches consistent with normal use are fine. Beware of dents, folds, creases, cracks, brittle plastic, dry rotted rubber, etc. Generic replacement nylon carry handles are readily available, but rotted handles are indicative of poor kayak storage. Best time to find a used boat is December through March as people get new boats for Christmas or for Spring.
A single short boat will fit inside a hatchback vehicle with the front seat folded forward. For longer or multiple boats you will need a roof rack, or a pickup truck. A Subaru Outback wagon can easily haul four kayakers with boats and gear for a day trip.
Tonio has been a canoeist since 1985, and a kayaker since 1990. Tonio’s maximum level of attainment was solid Class IV whitewater paddling skills, but he has dialed things back to Class III now that he is older. Tonio loves practicing kayak safety and rescue techniques. Tonio is not a real Italian.
