Part 1 – The Shibari Scene
The kink scene has changed a great deal since I first became involved in the 1990s. And it had changed dramatically from the early 60s and 70s. The straight kink scene was largely inspired by the gay leather scene. And public play was almost entirely focused on controlled, sexualized violence that ranged from spanking, flogging, whipping, caning to various types of rough body play. Bondage usually involved leather or metal cuffs, hoods, restraints or all sorts of creative furniture inspired by medieval dungeons. Rope, to the extent it was used for fetish purposes, was western style. Think Betty Page and Nell Fenwick from Dudley Do Right. Using cheap nylon rope to tie someone up immobile on the floor or to furniture. That all changed about ten or fifteen years ago, give or take.
Shibari began to gain popularity in the west coast kink scene(s) about that time and has exploded in popularity since. The last 3-5 years have seen it grow to the point that there is now a dozen or so kink conventions focused purely on learning more about shibari. Almost no one bothers to do “western” style rope any longer. Generally, western is looked down upon. And while there are practitioners here in the US that have been doing shibari far longer than a decade, they were mostly isolated up until the popularity boom.
For those of us that don’t speak Japanese, shibari means ‘tie decoratively’. It’s another way of describing the same techniques also referred to as kinbaku which means ‘bind tightly’. Either word is accurate as far as it goes. And there are many folks in the US who use the words interchangeably. Others will happily get into a slap fight over which is the/correct/ word to use to describe a style of Japanese rope bondage. These people are morons and are basically kink weeaboos and so should at the least be safely ignored, if not gagged and tied western style with poly rope. But I digress.
There is a natural human tendency to take things that are foreign, see them as exotic, and elevate them with meaning that isn’t there in the home culture from which they are derived. Especially with Japan. In action/adventure media it is the superlative nature of a katana or the profundity assumed to come from Buddhism, or the way the Chinese perceive any well-known American brand as having cache’. People find depth and significance in the practices of other cultures. We appreciate that which is different and can value it because of that. I think it is rooted in the fundamental decency of people and part of why humans are pretty damn good at exchange and trade.
In the kink scene, it should come as no surprise, that impulse doesn’t change. There are numerous people in the west who see shibari as a profound Japanese art form that happens to be both art and sado-masochistic. In part it is a way of expressing the idea that our own culture can be too uptight about sex and pleasure, particularly around things which are seen as deviant. A way to say, ‘I’m not a pervert! This whole culture finds deep meaning in these things my home culture finds disgusting or strange’. I think it can also derive from a desire to make sacred the things we do that matter to us. And a desire to go from being an outcast to mainstream, or even a desire to be better than the mainstream.
The idea that shibari is on the same shelf with the Japanese Tea Ceremony is bullshit of the rankest odor. While the roots of it go back to hojojutsu, or Samurai techniques for binding enemies, and there are lineages and styles like various martial arts, the former is more inspiration and the latter is a phenomenon of western interest making it possible for nawashi (lit: string maker, fig: rope masters) to make a living teaching people how to do shibari. The truth is; modern shibari was born in underground Japanese sex clubs and pornography in the post-war era. So it’s a bit like if Seka or John Holmes had ‘schools’ for dick sucking or blowing massive wads. I imagine Japanese resident Glibs can confirm that shibari is as out of the mainstream as those vending machines that dispense worn school-girl panties.
I don’t hold shibari in much reverence in that regard, despite putting in 10-12 hours a week doing rope. I do think it is a metric shitload of fun though and I can understand the popularity of it in the kink scene. There are three reasons for why it has grown so astronomically popular. First, it looks pretty damn amazing, particularly suspensions. (shibari has essentially two modes. Tying on the ground and suspensions which means using uplines to shift the CoG such that most of the weight is dependent on the uplines for support). Second, it is performative. It started in small, underground sex clubs as a way to titillate and arouse and even in the most intimate types of rope, there’s a performative aspect that is fun to watch. Even people who aren’t necessarily kinky will sometimes enjoy watching it. Third is a consequence of the second. Because it is performative, it draws attention at public kink events. And women especially seem to be drawn to it. It looks graceful when both the top/rigger and the rope bottom are experienced and in-sync. Because women want to experience it, men want to learn how to do it. Because it will get them laid
Unlike many, maybe even most other kink activities, shibari takes a great deal of practice to get good at. I’ll discuss more in part two about that. It’s also an extremely high-risk activity, possibly the riskiest thing that people regularly do in kink. The risk particularly comes in with suspensions. Every time someone goes up in the air there is a potential for nerve damage, both sensation and functional nerve damage. There is a lower likelihood of it happening on the ground, but it is still present. Joint injuries and broken bones can happen from a botched suspension. There are even a few deaths from up-lines being tangled and strangling someone or someone being dropped on their head. The danger only adds to the allure.
It’s a skill that takes practice from both sides, and it has that in common with dancing. I could take anyone reading this and teach them how to use a paddle or flogger to have a good scene in about 15 minutes. The mechanics are easy to grasp, and not much harder to master. Shibari, especially to be at a level to do a suspension, requires hours and hours of regular practice on a consistent basis. One has to learn anatomy and physics on a practical level. Drilling over and over on specific ways of tying the rope so that to minimize risk and improve sustainability for the rope bottom. Learning to be able to plan as you go, and how to adjust to circumstances on the fly without worrying about the basics because it is rote. For the sort of person who gets satisfaction from doing something that requires both the mind and the body to function in concert, it is deeply rewarding.
That need for instruction, practice, and the performative aspects of rope have combined with its popularity to spawn a global, if niche industry of performers and instructors. The make their living going around the country teaching others, attending conventions, and performing. There are a those that have full-time jobs making rope to sell to those involved in the scene. A single hank of 9 meters of jute can be anywhere from $5-$40 dollars. And a full kit for suspensions is usually 10-12 lengths of rope. I think this also ties into how natural free markets are, and how ingrained peaceful trade is to people, how natural it is. It isn’t a cheap hobby from a time or expe
nse perspective.
That high level of dedication is behind some of the snobbery, the attempting to infuse profound meaning into what is bondage using rope. Those involved tend to have strong preferences about things and sometimes generalize those preferences to be ‘the proper Japanese way’. For example, the type of rope used. Jute is the most commonly used type of rope for shibari. It’s a natural fiber so it tends to grip itself and has good tensile strength. Hemp is less commonly used as it tends to get too soft with repeated use. And almost every experienced rope enthusiast turns their nose up and any kind of synthetic material. And if you want to see the Platonic ideal of being catty get a couple of rope tops with similar styles together to critique the rope of others. It can be amusing and exasperating. But it helps remind me that no matter how deviant, kinksters are still people and have many of the same tendencies as any other group of folks who are highly invested in a hobby. It’s just our hobby tends to have lots of fucking involved.
It may not be art, but shibari does allow for personal expression. The way I tie is illustrative of my personality and my relationship with the person I’m tying. While some riggers simply ape the style of whoever taught them, the better ones go on to develop their own style and aesthetic all their own. They pour their heart and mind and body into it. It creates intense moments of connection between the rope top and bottom via shared, strenuous experience. I can understand how that encourages people to try to make something transcendental out of what started as a sexual side show performance.
Up next I’ll discuss some basics of risk mitigation and learning to tie. With the background out of the way, the follow-up article will deal more with the basic mechanics. It is not a how-to. But rather a description of what it takes to be able to do some of the things from the photos included in this.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Spudalicious going Irish has been moved to Friday, when he will be available to rebut any and all slanders against him.]
