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  • Saturday Morning Before Saturday Night Links

    Holy shit, made it through another week alive. Barely. Which is more than I can say for Peter Mayhew. But whatever.

    And many happy birthdays to a survivor of the Princeton disaster (unlike poor Armistead); arguably the best living bass player; Christopher Kimball’s spirit animal; and urban legend portrayer of Anne Frank (“She’s in the attic!!!”).

    And now the news:

     


     

    A NOOSE! RACISM!!!

     

    MORE NOOSE! MORE RACISM!!!

     

    EVEN MORE NOOSE! EVEN MORE RACISM!!!

     

    Team Red really is Team Stupid. If you stop giving her attention, she becomes just another back bencher.

     

    I think I’m falling/ Falling in love again. Maybe not.

     

    STEVE SMITH origin becomes clearer.

     

    Several things are missing from this story. Like pix.

     

    Those wacky yoots!

     

    Why is it always the uggos?

     

    We always were a disappointment to him.

     

    “You have a bouncing baby boy!” Oh wait, too local.

     

    One more reason this strong 2A advocate won’t ever join the NRA.

     

    Nice flying there, Ace.

     


     

    Old Guy Music celebrates the onset of summer with this fun cover of a Loudon Wainwright III song. I would like to mass murder the audience, but that’s another story.

     

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS AND ADVICE

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. TONIGHT THE CHOSEN ONES GET A DOUBLE, DOUBLE FEATURE. NOT JUST THE BEST ADVICE, BUT THE BEST ADVICE WHILE DEFEATING 2 DIFFERENT BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS! FIRST, ZARDOZ DISPOSES OF THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“. AS ZARDOZ IS PLEASED BY THE CONTENT OF THE SITE THIS WEEK, HE REWARDS THE CHOSEN ONES BY DISPATCHING THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER “ASK AMY”.

    ALSO WRONG!

    Q: I have a former co-worker whose husband was just released from a psychiatric facility. He had threatened to kill himself and take the entire family with him. I met him before the incident. He did not seem balanced then, and I was uncomfortable being around him.

    Since his release, my friend keeps inviting me to their house and wants to come to mine. I keep making excuses for not allowing visits to my house or hers. I still have a bad feeling about being exposed to him and possibly putting myself in danger. I have been in abusive relationships in the past, and one attack was nearly fatal.

    I have spoken to her about the dangers of being with a person such as him. But she says she can’t leave because they have three children on the spectrum. Am I being silly? — APPREHENSIVE IN TEXAS

    A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, YOU SPINELESS BRUTAL. AND ZARDOZ DOES NOT HAVE COMFORTING WORDS. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS – FIRST, GO FORTH AND CLEANSE THE CRAZED BRUTAL…PREEMPTIVELY, OF COURSE. THIS WILL ALLOW YOUR FORMER CO-WORKER TO CARE FOR THE SPECTRAL BRUTAL CHILDREN.

    THE VORTEX HAS SOME “ON THE SPECTRUM” AS WELL.

    SECOND IS A BIT TRICKIER, BUT DOES BENEFIT ZARDOZ IN THE END, SO HE RECOMMENDS IT. FIRST, CONTINUE TO DISTRACT, DELAY AND STALL AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. ZARDOZ WILL SEND THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO HELP…

    WE RIDE TO TEXAS!

    BUT NOT TO CLEANSE THE CRAZED BRUTAL. RATHER, TO RECRUIT HIM. THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS COULD ALWAYS USE ANOTHER PSYCHOPATH. YOUR FORMER CO-WORKER IS FREE, YOU ARE NOT THREATENED, AND ZARDOZ GAINS A HEADCOUNT. WIN-WIN-WIN. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: My husband has been significantly overweight most of his life. He recently lost more than 60 pounds on a very strict diet. (I have to work to stay at a healthy weight, but have never been more than 10 to 15 pounds over my ideal weight).

    He’s much healthier now, and I’m extremely proud of him and his dedication to a new lifestyle.

    However, when he was overweight he was generally relaxed, fun and easy-going (these are also the qualities that attracted me to him). Now, after the weight loss, he generally seems miserable. I’m not the only person to have noticed this change.

    A few days ago a good friend told me that my husband is “the most miserable skinny person,” he’s ever known.

    I’ve tried to talk with him multiple times, both to let him know how proud I am of him for this accomplishment, and to try to understand why he seems so unhappy despite achieving the goal he set for himself. The most I’ve been able to get from him is that now that he’s lost the weight he’s embarrassed about how overweight he was.

    Amy, I loved my husband when he was overweight and I love him now, but after almost six months of dealing with his negativity, criticism and a much shorter temper than usual, I’m not sure how to help without sounding like I’m trying to derail his health plans.

    I think much of his negativity stems from hunger and having to deny himself his favorite foods. I want him to maintain his health, but I don’t want him to have to choose health at the expense of happiness.

    Any thoughts on how I can help us through this challenge?

    A: OH, LOOK CHOSEN ONES! IT APPEARS ZARDOZ HAS FOUND ANOTHER SCIENTIST FOR THE VORTEX. “I think much of his negativity stems from hunger and having to deny himself his favorite foods.” SUCH BRAINPOWER RIVALS THAT OF THE TABERNACLE! WITLESS BRUTAL – YOU MUST SEND YOUR HUSBAND DELICIOUS BREAD FROM THE VORTEX. IN FACT, ZARDOZ WILL SEND SOME BY “BRUTALCART EATS”…

    DELIVERY! HOP TO IT, ZED.

    IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH – THEN IT IS BANQUET TIME. CALL AHEAD FOR RESERVATIONS AT THE VORTEX. TELL ‘EM “ZARDOZ SENT ME.”

    TONIGHT, ZARDOZ HAS ASKED US TO FEED A FORMERLY OBESE BRUTAL.

    LEAVE A GOOD REVIEW ON YELP. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    THE CHOSEN ONES MAY NOW REVEL IN THE LINKS THAT ZARDOZ PROVIDES. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

    • AS IF THE CHOSEN ONES NEED MORE EVIDENCE THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL… VERY WELL, HERE YOU ARE THEN. NOTE THE ACTIONS OF THE ACCUSED BRUTAL – IS THIS WHAT THE CHOSEN ONES REFER TO AS “PUMP AND DUMP”? THE SCHOOL, NOT THE FEMALE BRUTALS…
    • HOW CAN THIS BRUTAL BE A SOCIALIST – HE MAKE SENSE. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN HE WILL BE THWARTED.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ¡Feliz viernes! Enlaces Mexicanos!

    Hola! Yo soy hada de traducción…

    By classic I mean, we’re going to seek assistance from the Spanish translation fairy…

    Up first, the big news en español today, is the Spanish government is presently harboring a Venezuelan Opposition leader at their ambassador’s residence, but will limit his contact with the outside.  They are in effect, not taking sides.

    “España no va a permitir que su embajada se convierta en un centro de activismo político”, dijo Borrell a periodistas en el Líbano, donde está en visita oficial. Borrell recordó que López tuvo este jueves encuentros con la prensa en la embajada y recalcó que “a partir de ahora esto será regulado”. El ministro puntualizó que, en función al derecho internacional, la figura de “huésped o acogido” en la embajada “naturalmente” implica una limitación en su actividad política. “Tenemos la confianza de que, en estas condiciones, Venezuela va a respetar naturalmente la inmunidad del territorio de la embajada de España”, agregó. Borrell reiteró que España “no entregará” a López a las autoridades venezolanas, a pesar de que el Tribunal Supremo venezolano dictó este jueves una orden de arresto.


    Spain is not going to allow its embassy to become a center for political activism,” Borrell told reporters in Lebanon, where he is on an official visit. Borrell recalled that Lopez had meetings with the press on Thursday at the embassy and stressed that “from now on this will be regulated.” The minister pointed out that, according to international law, the figure of “guest or welcomed” in the embassy “naturally” implies a limitation in his political activity. “We are confident that, under these conditions, Venezuela will naturally respect the immunity of the territory of the Spanish embassy,” he added. Borrell reiterated that Spain “will not deliver” Lopez to the Venezuelan authorities, despite the fact that the Venezuelan Supreme Court issued an arrest warrant Thursday.

    As I assume you all know well, the US government has picked a sideTW:  Seriously annoying autoplay music video at the link.  It made me seek enlaces elsewhere.

    Es improbable que Estados Unidos lleve el dinero directamente a Venezuela vía aérea, explicaron las fuentes y expertos, dado el sistema de defensa aérea de Venezuela. El gobierno de Trump también podría enviar dinero a un país vecino, como Colombia, y luego llevarlo a la frontera con Venezuela.

    El Departamento del Tesoro podría reducir las sanciones a las empresas estatales de manera específica para canalizar los fondos a Guaidó, dijo Michael Dobson, un exfuncionario del Tesoro que también dijo que los estadounidenses pueden donar a la oposición.

    El gobierno de Trump se ha enfocado en apoyar financieramente a Guaidó desde que lo reconociera por primera vez como el líder oficial de Venezuela en enero, considerando que la financiación es clave para estabilizar el país y asegurar su liderazgo. El presidente de la Asamblea Nacional, con estudios en Estados Unidos, ahora es reconocido por más de 50 países como presidente interino de Venezuela.


    It is unlikely that the United States will take the money directly to Venezuela by air, sources and experts explained, given Venezuela’s air defense system. The Trump government could also send money to a neighboring country, such as Colombia, and then take it to the border with Venezuela.

    The Treasury Department could reduce sanctions on state-owned companies specifically to channel funds to Guaidó, said Michael Dobson, a former Treasury official who also said that Americans can donate to the opposition.

    The Trump government has focused on financially supporting Guaidó since he first recognized him as the official leader of Venezuela in January, considering that financing is key to stabilizing the country and ensuring its leadership. The president of the National Assembly, with studies in the United States, is now recognized by more than 50 countries as interim president of Venezuela.

    Buena suerte

    Finally, I figured the Spanish outlets would be all weirded out with their Venezuela coverage, but I have to admit they seem to be playing it pretty straight.

    El 30 de abril no fue un día de protesta habitual para los opositores venezolanos, que tienen años pidiéndole al régimen chavista desde la calle que entregue el poder. La diferencia esta vez: el presidente interino Juan Guaidó apareció en un video escoltado por militares activos que lo apoyaban y, de forma inédita, los uniformados se mantuvieron defendiendo a los manifestantes durante toda la jornada del martes.

    Pero a medida que pasaron las horas, distintos actores tomaron el micrófono o las redes sociales para explicar lo que, según ellos, supuestamente ocurría. Guaidó protestaba con militares, que luego de cuatro meses, finalmente reaccionaron a su llamado; Maduro dijo que seguía contando con al apoyo de los uniformados; los voceros de Estados Unidos aseguraron que el mandatario venezolano estuvo a punto de montarse en un avión y abandonar Venezuela tras la traición de tres de sus principales aliados en el Estado.

    A pesar de todas las versiones y dada la desinformación que existe en el país, es difícil entender hacia dónde va Venezuela.


    April 30 was not a day of habitual protest for Venezuelan opponents, who have been asking the Chavista regime from the street for years to hand over power. The difference this time: the interim president Juan Guaidó appeared in a video escorted by active military supporters and, in an unprecedented way, the uniformed kept defending the protesters throughout the day on Tuesday.

    But as the hours passed, different actors took the microphone or social networks to explain what, according to them, supposedly happened. Guaidó protested with the military, who after four months, finally reacted to his call; Maduro said he still had the support of the uniformed; United States spokespersons said the Venezuelan leader was about to get on a plane and leave Venezuela after the betrayal of three of his main allies in the state.

    Despite all the versions and given the disinformation that exists in the country, it is difficult to understand where Venezuela is going.

     

    ¿Quita la música?  How about NO!  It feels like a Godsmack kind of day

    Translation services provided by the Alpha Beta corporation, who want you to know they love you like Ike loved Tina.

  • I was a Union Guy

    The year was 1955, I had graduated from high school that May. I was a month shy of 18 at the time. I had joined the National Guard the year before, a lot of my friends had also joined as soon as we could. At the time the draft was still going on and by being in the Guard we weren’t draft eligible.

    I lived in a northern Minnesota community, on the Cuyuna Iron Range, the smallest of the three Minnesota ranges. Many of my friends and classmates’ fathers were miners. Jobs were scarce and because I was not 18 I couldn’t even apply. I went off to Guard camp and was 18 when I came back at the end of June so I applied around but because I was late all the vacancies had been filled, but some of my school friends had gotten on. Nepotism was useful, having a family member working in a mine was a real help.

    Anyway, I soon got a call at one of the mines, the father of the girl I had been dating was hiring foreman and my brother also worked at the same mine so the nepotism was alive and well. It was one of the smaller open pits. My first day on the job was blaster’s helper which allowed me to fill the charged holes with the handy wheel barrow and a #2 long handle shovel I’d been provided. Not romantic but still…

    After one day I’d pretty well mastered the shovel/wheelbarrow operations so I got transferred to driller’s helper at the same pay level, #5. This was not a promotion. I carried water by the bucketful to the driller who seemed to not care how much he spilled as he was using it. I helped empty the mud from the drilled holes, meaning I got in the mud’s way as it splashed out of the mud bucket. I took samples and recorded the info in a log book. Hey, I was a high school graduate so I could do that administrative stuff. If you’ve ever met an open pit iron miner his clothes are rust color, his car is rust color, his wife is rust color, his kids are rust color. A driller is the top of the line rust color because he works in red mud all day.

    I was like a pig in mud, so to speak. I had a job, I was making $1.86 @ hour, a grown up wage. Now I could get a car, some beer and with a little luck a girl friend since my old one had gone to school in Minneapolis and didn’t get home too often. After a few weeks I noticed my pay check had been docked a few dollars, I can’t remember how much but I’m thinking about 4 bucks. I asked the guys at work why that happened and they told me, “Oh, union dues” WTF is up with that? I don’t remember joining a union. “Oh, we have to belong to the Steel Workers Union to keep our job, it’s a closed shop”

    “Well, what do we get for our money?” The driller said, “We are protected, no one can bump us, unless they have more seniority” “But” I said, “you may have noticed that I’m the youngest guy working here, everyone has more seniority than I have”. He said, “Yep, everyone here can bump you but since drilling is the crappiest job here and no one else wants it, you’re safe.”

    Anyway, I was now a union member. The weeks went by, uneventful, pay was good, work was dirty but after Monday one didn’t get much dirtier the rest of the week. My mother took my clothes to the laundromat ’cause she didn’t want to get her wash machine filled with the red color. As we entered into fall the discussions were “I wonder when we get our pink slips” since the open pits didn’t work in the winter after freezing set in. Sometime around the first of November the foreman met us after our shift was over, handed out the pink slips. At that point many of the miners were happy, get their rocking chair money, do a little logging, fishing, many had small farms and could wait out the winter. I was not happy, I didn’t want to work in the cold but I still wanted a paycheck.

    Then, sometime in January/February I got called back to work, we couldn’t drill but I got assigned to an older guy to lay a pipeline from the bottom of the pit, up the side and over the edge in to a holding pond. Every thing had to be ready by spring when the snow/ice was gone. Pipeline was about 4 inch diameter, maybe 20 ft long to a section. It was unbelievably cold, trying to work in the snow, climbing the sides of the pit. The other guy knew what was going on, I did what he told me but mostly I stayed in the little shack we had and kept throwing coal into a little stove to keep warm. I think it took us (the other guy did 90% of the work) about 2-3 weeks to do the job, I was miserable.

    Then I got put on a jack hammer crew with my brother and a couple other young guys. We drilled holes in a road bed that was then blasted and dug out so the ore below the road could be mined when spring came. After one day on the jack hammer my wrists hurt so bad I could hardly work. The next day I shammed it, pretending to do a little and after 3-4 days I could actually produce a few holes in the frozen dirt. We did that for about 3 weeks and got laid off again, probably about the first of March, 1956. Jack hammer operators got driller’s wages so I was getting about $2.25 @ hour.

    Finally, Spring came and we got called back to work, the company had a contract for the type of ore we had so a second shift was put on, a third shift on the drills. I was promoted to driller at 18, working with the old guys. The proverbial pig in mud, now I had a helper. Overtime, week ends, etc, money was good for a kid. Then Guard camp came and I needed a break, took my vacation so I got paid for both work and Guard.

    Then strike talk! Our contract was over on June 30th, for the whole Cuyuna Range. Most of the old timers weren’t concerned, they lived like that their whole lives, a few days unpaid summer vacation and go back to work.

    Not me! I ran around telling everyone that I wasn’t going to put with this crap. If the strike lasted over a week I was going to Man Up and join the Army! Well, the 8th day came, no sign of the strike being over. I convinced my brother that we both should go in the Army. We were both in the Guard so we volunteered to be drafted, that was only a 2 year commitment plus it allowed the draft board to meet the quota for the month a little easier.

    The strike lasted 5 weeks, then back to work for 5 weeks before we got our military orders. Now I wasn’t too happy, we’d lost 5 weeks pay, got a modest pay increase, like 20 cents @ hour. The older guys got another week or two vacation but I’d lost 500 bucks at a job that lasted about 7 months a year at best and some years never saw the mines open for lack of a contract.

    We did our Army time, I ended up in Germany, my brother in Greenland. When we go home the mine was closed that year, as were most on the Cuyuna Range. I walked across the street from the State Employment office to the Army Recruiter, got lined up with a long tech school and re-enlisted, my brother hung around, thinking something would change.

    I did my 20 years Army time, a lot of it overseas. I had started going to college while I was in service and when I retired finished my last two years with a BS Ed. I never taught, my kids said I had no class. I was able to turn my education into second career in business.

    If it had not been for the union and going on strike I might never have had a reason to leave Podunkville and learn all the things that experience and travel provide. I went from being a farm kid in the woods full circle and ended up about 4 miles from where I’d started in 1955. Now though, my wife and I are comfortable as the years pass us by. I credit the union with giving me the reason to look beyond the limited horizons that I had at 18. I can not thank the union enough. I never looked back except to wave good bye.

  • Friday Morning Links, Yet Again

    Happy Friday, all! Eight hours from now, I intend to be swirling a glass of wine. Or maybe getting dinner at some food trucks. Or taking LSD and chewing the bark off a tree. Who knows? I mean, this is an exciting life we lead!

    Happy Birthday today to: a totally tubular guy; the Meir that made Milwaukee famous; an amazing combination of talent and stupidity; and the Three Minute Man. And that’s i…  Wait! There’s more!

    On to the news.

     


     

    Team Red, still useless after all these years. The fascination with the Bush/Obama Forever Wars is astounding.

     

    Over/under on Jack Young’s indictment?

     

    Why you can’t ever trust a fire captain. Oh wait, too local.

     

    I thought this was The Onion. Huh.

     

    Michelle Obama mourns.

     

    Do you think they’ll let him live in Montana?

     

    Popcorn please.

     

    It’s ironic that I can carry a gun here. Oh wait, too local.

     

    This would be interesting, except…

     

    …this is from the same pollster. Astounding!

     

    There’s no way that any of this should be criminal, nor any reason to have the product restricted by the State. Oh wait, too local.

     

    Is this why we haven’t seen Sea Smith recently? Shit, I’m worried now.

     

    I’m taking bets.

     

    Team Blue- Totally Not Antisemitic. WTF is with Minnesota, anyway?

     


     

    And Old Guy Music is a fun song in the photo theme, but is also a lesson in typography. The album cover for The Picks could easily be read as The Dicks. Wait… what was that…. Really??

  • Evan Goes to Sri Lanka: Part II

    Read Part I

    My train journey continued through tea country. The terraces weren’t nearly as wet as the rice paddies in Southeast Asia but their structure was similar. As a Midwestern boy used to corn and soybeans, the overlaying latticework of crops contrasted heavily with the table-top farms of southern Indiana.

    Due to both the landscape and the nature of the tea bushes, it is difficult or impossible to mechanize the harvest. Instead, groups of women with bags strapped to their foreheads pick the tea by hand. The man there to supervise them emanated overtones of plantation slavery. I’m not sure if he deserves that reaction or not. That’s one of the difficulties traveling to new cultures. Moral navigation can be tricky.

    I finally arrived in Ella. It was gorgeous and soothing, but also the definition of how the journey is frequently more important than the destination. It’s a small town nestled in the lowlands. I mostly remember my late night walks on the dirt roads. The jungle sounds were the soundtrack in my mosquito-netted bed. The next day I went to see a waterfall a short tuk tuk ride away. Its beauty gave me pause and contrasted with the urban and urbane landscape I was used to in Singapore. The simplicity of flowing water made me happy.

    From here I went down to Yala National Park on the southern coast to go on safari. I stayed in a tent, but a fancy one with a shower and 300-thread-count sheets. As I’ve aged I’ve graduated to more luxurious settings.

    The park is quite arid and reminded me of Arizona. Craggy rocks, brush–an earthy moonscape with sparse greenery. Think tumbleweeds. The elephant skull that greeted me was a great example of why Ancient Greeks believed in cyclopes.

     

    We drove through the park in a Jeep. I soaked in the terrain and encountered water buffalo, elephants, meter-long monitor lizards and troops of monkeys playfully gathering fruit. We soon were clogged in a traffic jam of fellow visitors. A leopard was resting in the shade and everyone was desperate for a glance. She was about 500 yards away, visible with our guide’s binoculars, but not with my camera, sadly.

    The park borders the ocean. I do like fishermen and boats. I don’t know why. I don’t like being on the water. Flimsy wooden vessels with old engines popping oil as they chugged along. Honest folk doing honest work to provide for their families. Teaching English in Korea, I viewed my work as being very supplementary. It’s humbling to watch people do something so essential. It reminds me that mine is a life of luxury, and how almost everyone in the world has it worse off than I do. It reinforces why I refuse to complain until bone pierces skin.

    On our way, elephants blocked the path. This is perhaps the best reason to have to stop your vehicle. The people in the Jeep ahead of us were idiots–they had left a bunch of mangos out in their open cab and agile trunks were being forcefully frisky about obtaining them. A backpack was ripped from the vehicle by the tremendous animal.

    After my stay at the park, I continued clockwise around the coast to Galle–a 16th century Portuguese fortification. It is very reminiscent of Spanish forts in Florida. I briefly met up with my coworker here for dinner on a chance encounter. We had pasta.

     

    Galle was very dreamlike. I knew I was in Sri Lanka but it felt so European. I felt the same way in Montreal when my brain thought I was in Paris. You have to jolt yourself into understanding reality. It’s like when your eyes and inner ear don’t agree and you get dizzy–it was difficult for Evan in Wonderland to parse out the alien familiarity of his surroundings. He walked around the stone walls calmly, tired after traveling for a week straight. Surrounded by an eerie silence, Evan was able to absorb vibrations you otherwise ignore.

    He loved the fortifications. How the earthworks strengthened the short, fat stone walls. Being alone gave him time to think about how fort design changed as offensive technology advanced. High walls keep out foot soldiers. Cannon destroy high walls. Fat walls stop cannon. Foot soldiers storm low walls. And so on. An endless game of paper, rock, scissors.

    He walked by a schoolyard where some boys were playing cricket. Someone overthrew the ball and it bounced higgeldy-piggeldy on the cobblestone. Athletically scooping it up, Evan relayed it back onto the pitch. He assumed they were astounded by his ability.

     

    I woke up with a pleasant calm. As perfect as it was, I knew my trip was over and it was time to go home. I took a train up the southwest coast back to the airport in Colombo. One was wiped out here on the same route in the 2004 tsunami. About 1700 people died upon derailment, the deadliest train accident in history. Apparently the waves were ten feet over the top of the train car. They all drowned.

    Three months after this trip, my coworker and infrequent travel partner–through friends of friends–became acquainted with my then-girlfriend. My ex thought that I had been cheating. The flint needed to ignite our inevitable downfall was sparked.

    I was wholly innocent of cheating on her, but I did make the mistake of not being candid with her, and many others to boot. Our loose knot, tied with frayed rope, was too fragile for any further stress. I thought that my lie-by-omission wasn’t so bad and that it could save us, even if only for a stupid short while.

    We treaded water in choppy waves for the next few months before getting too much in our lungs. My bad judgment finished the trick that so many nasty nights and thrown knives couldn’t. Knowing that this trip was the final strain is harsh and biting.

    Looking back, we were both the problem. I’m not trying to throw her under the bus–if anything I was the biggest obstacle to our solvency. But it was like being bound by superglue–we had to sacrifice a layer of flesh to separate from one another.

    *****

    Adventures are such for a reason. Their nature involves severing ties to the familiar and the comfortable, all in order to grasp at something new.

    I finally was able to tick off another box that I had squared as a child. I will never be able to divorce this trip from the dissolution of something that singular, but time has worn away that coarse stone. It’s been polished into an irregular, yet beautiful obloid of a memory.

    Everything condensed into a teardrop.

  • Thursday Afternoon Links

    Hi guys. Happy Thursday. I’m starting off a 4 day weekend. Tomorrow is a beginner’s bladesmithing class. I’m gonna make a dagger so bad ass Napoleon Dynamite would think it was more badass than a lyger. Or, with a lot of instruction, something ugly but functional.

    Florida schools just became BYOG* for next year. Lock’n’load! I wonder how long before the first brandishing. I kid, kind of. More responsible adults (or teachers in a pinch) with guns, carrying to do well is good.
    *Not for students

    Huh. This SpaceX failed test thing is weird. Apparently it blew up a half-second before the thrusters were engaged. Its weird because as I understand it, neither component of the hypergolic fuel (which autoignites when mixed) was being moved when it went bang.

    News from science — people drink coffee and beer for the effect.

    “Frankly, sports fans, he used a word that is a no-no with umpires.” I never really thought of calling a guy a cocksucker as anti-gay. Now I have to find a new derogative for gay men who anger me, because this had made me see that obviously calling a gay man a cocksucker isn’t going to insult him.

    Have some guitar and some crazy fretless bass.

  • What is Burning Man? Pt. 2

    In the last part of this series, I mentioned that the Burning Man attendees are the event. There are many ways in which this fact manifests, but the most prominent ways are theme camps and artwork. But what exactly is a “theme camp”?

    In short, a theme camp is a group of burners who bring an offering to the playa. They are interactive, open to the public, and of course they’re free. There is no specified set of rules on what a theme camp can be offering, but the nature of the camp will generally determine placement based on the whims of the BMOrg.

    As with everything else related to Burning Man, the concept of theme camps has evolved over the years. Back in the day before anyone I knew personally went to the event, you just showed up with your camp and set up whatever you wanted, however you wanted. This was also back in the days when you could drive around in a Jeep shooting guns into the air, dig holes in the ground to fill with gasoline and set ablaze, and engage in all sorts of otherwise fun anarchy.

    This changed as the event grew, particularly after the 1997 burn which was apparently “terrifying”. Growing demands from the government resulted in most of the changes, though a few things like a ban on handheld lasers came from the BMOrg without being forced upon them. As far as theme camps go, it used to be a completely different and mostly random structure every year with no clue what you would get. Once certain groups started showing up regularly and bringing more or less the same camp every time, placement disputes started cropping up with multiple groups wanting the same location. Sometimes a camp would show up to find one person had staked out the entire area for themselves.

    They addressed with issue with camp placement. For as long as I’ve been a burner, the prime real estate has been reserved for camps which apply to the BMOrg for space. If you want a premium location in the city, which is redefined to cover broader swaths every year, you have to draw up a design for your camp and submit the plans to the BMOrg along with a description of what you’ll be offering. The more closely you adhere to the 10 principles the more likely you are to be approved, but the BMOrg is capricious.

    The city is laid out shaped like the letter “C”, with concentric streets that are always named alphabetically from a word starting with “A” to “Whatever Letter We Need This Year” based on the theme and expected population, although the innermost and most prominent street with the “best” camps is always named “Esplanade”. My first year it was “A” through “H”, though by the end of the event they’d added two more (“I” and “J”) at the back to accommodate more people. There’s radial streets which stretch from the center at Esplanade to whatever the last street is that year spaced “30 minutes” apart. So you get addresses like “4:30 & A”, “8:00 & F”.

    The theme camps are all placed within this grid according to where the BMOrg thinks you belong. The massive sound camps which play dubstep and other electronic music non-stop for the entire week (and I mean it) generally get placed at the ends of the C, 10:00 and 2:00, facing outwards so they aren’t bombarding “residential” areas and causing more sleep deprivation. Smaller musical camps or ones which play different music may end up closer to the interior.

    During the few hours these guys were closed, the camp right next door was just getting started

    That said, their standards often change with the wind. One year I was with a camp that had been there for over 10 burns and was on “A” every year. The following year they ended up getting pushed back to “C”. The next year they placed on “H”. This year they apparently didn’t even get approved for placement at all and the camp may not happen since nobody involved managed to secure a ticket, which is getting increasingly difficult each year are ever greater percentages of tickets are reserved for approved/placed theme camps rather than being open to the general public.

    Not all camps are theme camps; not every camp is open and interactive. On one occasion my camp was just my wife and I, though we weren’t married yet during that burn. Definitely a small, non-interactive, closed camp. There’s also the hated “plug-n-play” camps, which are still non-interactive and closed, but are often quite large and provide everything a rich and famous burner could want on the playa, for a hefty fee, of course, sometimes exceeding $100,000. There’s controversy as to how to deal with these groups and some get explicitly barred from future burns, like a camp called Humano was.

    One example of a plug-n-play ‘fortress camp’, so people like Paris Hilton and Elizabeth Holmes don’t have to risk being seen out of costume

    As to the actual interactive theme camps themselves, they can generally be broken into two broad categories: daytime camps and nighttime camps. Similarly, most burners are either “daytime” burners or “nighttime” burners. During the day, the city has a slower pace and is dominated by smaller camps. There’s still some daytime party spots like Pink Mammoth and Distrikt that serve all the booze you can drink, but it’s not nearly as wild.

    They were giving out pancakes

    During the day, you’ll find a lot of camps offering things like yoga or aerials sessions, body painting and tattoos, bars, TED talks, bondage workshops, tasty food, hatmaking, film screenings, places to smoke hookah, theatre performances, woodworking pagodas, bouncy houses, and pretty much anything else you could expect to find in a major city (during the event, it’s Nevada’s third biggest city, complete with an airport). Except trash collection or recycling – that’s on you to take care of yourself.

    There’s also some ‘services’ offered by burners, like postal delivery, RV servicing, and bicycle repair shops. That last one is key, as bicycles are the primary mode of transit in Black Rock City due to the fact that the city measures over 2mi in diameter and, other than art cars, driving is not allowed (unless you’re a cop or emergency responder of some sort). More on that next time. The highly alkaline dust on the playa tends to eat away at tires and bicycle chains, making frequent repairs a necessity. Burning Man has claimed 5 different bicycles from me. One bike didn’t even make halfway through the event, leaving me on foot for the rest of the burn except when I could find an unused community bike to borrow.

    At night almost all of these services stop operating and most of the daytime camps close up, though some like the roller derby and mini golf stay open 24/7. Generally the city takes on a completely different aura. The people are completely different, too, as the nighttime burners tend to sleep during the day when it can get well over 120 degrees F. If you’re a nighttime burner, though, you need to pack for summer and winter temperatures, as it can be anywhere from 80 to 30 on a given night.

    When the sun goes down, the city lights up and things get more intense. The Thunderdome opens up for fighters to beat the crap out of each other with foam weaponry. Foot traffic to the orgy dome picks up and lines start to form outside it. The daytime bars shut down and the nighttime bars open their doors. Things you never realized were there during the day suddenly appear, such as one camp that projected Donald Trump’s face onto the ground for passersby to jump on, only to have him move out of the way every time and laugh. Interactive mazes spring out of the ground like Theseus’ labyrinth for you to navigate in complete darkness. One camp created a series of old-school arcade games where you were the “character” on a pressure-sensitive platform of LEDs. The lights, lasers, and fire generally associated with Burning Man are suddenly everywhere you look.

    No matter who you are, it will impress you. No pictures can adequately depict it and nobody can accurately describe it. Any two people could go and have completely different experiences; it’s entirely possible that you’ll come with someone whom you never cross paths with again until it’s time to leave, with both of you having never even entered the same camps.

    The interactivity of the theme camps is only half the splendor though. The people who are only there to party tend to limit their experience to a few select major sound camps, but in my personal opinion the most impressive part of Burning Man is the art, many of which end their lives by burning to the ground. We’ll take a look at some of the art and art cars, next time.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Good morning my Glibs and Gliberinas!  And what a glorious morning it is for everyone as yesterday Barr provided his testimony to the Senate and declined to give testimony today to the House.  Who does this asshole think he is, Eric Holder?  Many interesting things came out including his side of events regarding the “snitty” letter he received from one of Mueller’s staffers and confirmed that he was going to brief Senators on the status of his investigation into Spygate.  You can tell he did a good job as all the right people appear to be pissed.

     

     

    I don’t know why this took so long, Democrats love being Nanny Staters, Republicans love restricting non-military government programs, it is a win-win.

     

    Leftist activists try to financially destroy anyone right of Mao by pressuring financial companies to blacklist them.

     

    Imagine being this person.

     

     

    Sorry boys, Sansa Stark is off the market.

     

    That’s all I got for today.  I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

  • Glibertarians After Dark: Your New Fetish

    I am going to try and find a new fetish for all you fine people. Let’s dive right in.

     

    Food Spurting

    This is a great entry level new fetish. It is closely related to the money shot facial in vanilla porn and the money shit facial in the more outré corners of the internet.

    It even comes in two sub-groups:

    The Spurter

    Damn girl. Get in there.

    The Spurtee

    About two inches to the left…

    Squirrel Jobs

    Just loaded up those fingertips and get it on…

    Nibble the head, work the shaft, and gut the nuts.

    Demi-baguetteing

    The ultimate taboo for the gluten-sensitive…

    Waifu bread body pillow: Don’t eat your IBS, sleep on it!

    TreeDom

    Tired of people and their annoying safe words? Why not exorcize your demons on a tree?

    “Bite down for Mommy. Bite down hard.”

    Giant Sea Penises

    Yes, this new fetish would require scuba certification and quite a bit of equipment, but it would be just you and a majestic sea penis that you could have all to yourself. And you can turn down your oxygen for a safe, belt-free bout of autoerotic asphyxiation.

    “I… I have a wife. This just means I’m bi, right?”

    Monsterdolling

    Need something to do with all those used up baby dolls plotting against you in the attic? Get aroused by night terrors?

    Or if swarms are more your style:

    ?

    Some dark pleasures are so new, they don’t even have a name yet…

    https://www.instagram.com/sophiahadjipanteli/

     

    Just remember, whatever it is you are into: