These are True Stories. Names have been changed to protect Me.
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Dammit my keyboard died. all i got is the little one on my airmouse and its laid out weird.
Your mouse has a keyboard?
an airmouse.
works like a wii remote and you flip it over and it has a keyboard.
Um, OK.
What part of that don’t you get?!
All of it.
Amazing work.
There’s no such thing as a Glibertarian woman?
Ummm, try again, sweetie!
Sounds healthy. She should talk to this guy.
https://youtu.be/CJkWS4t4l0k
That was Buddhism summarized in 2 minutes and 29 seconds.
After thirty seconds listening to this chick I want to die.
After 10, I wanted her to die.
I’d got to her rachet funeral.
Does nothing for me.
OT: Thanks for The Atlantic article on machine translation.
It seems to line up similarly to Japanese, but with marginally better results on the French that I could read.
Mind you for his examples he picked fairly literary material. In my experience it can’t even do a newspaper in Japanese.
Looks like I send you Aspies 😉 into a frenzy by not writing it kekkou. That extra “o” drives me nuts when I explain it to people who don’t speak Japanese. If you add it, people will read it like it rhymes with f*** You. I’ve found that the average person gets closer to the correct pronunciation by just not adding it in the first place. Not exactly right, but close enough.
These inscrutable Gaijin
It wasn’t me, I swear. I have the same issue and also struggle with “small tsu”.
You can’t use the macron: ō?
I can never figure out the control codes for that on windows. For Asian languages you fully shift the keyboard.
For a beginner learning Japanese it was a real PITA to figure out how to input with multiple layouts.
https://www.therisingwasabi.com/man-types-english-in-japanese/
If there was a Rising Wasabi–China edition, I’ve been there. But for some reason Japan gets all the attention from Americans….
Sure. Depends on who you’re writing for. In the days of the emoji, ” ö” get’s mistaken for “Winston’s Mom”.
Interestingly enough, the tablet keyboard has every vowel with a macron but o.
I think our definitions of “interestingly” differ.
?
I like the gravitron.
I think SF broke the commentariant earlier today.
I’d been thinking his stuff was getting a tame lately and was wishing for more of the depravity that marked the Huma/Hilldog story line.
I think there’s a Chinese curse about getting what you wish for.
Always lawyer up!
Never lawyer down.
As far as the O&G article earlier (commented on by KDW too)….I’ve been giving it some more thought and I’m really leaning towards as.edu now (the Newport News Apprentice School). It’s a longer program (welding, etc, etc) – but you get paid the entire time and it looks like the educational/training profile will be more useful on the whole. Assuming a lot of overtime/extra shift options too. I’m not a fan of the location/traffic/climate/etc – but I can probably get cheap housing right next to the facility….good enough for the first year….and then potentially buy a place a little further out after that.
It’d also be a LOT less trouble moving from Central VA to this area (while keeping my reserve billets, etc) – and rolling right into an open work slot – then trying to juggle a complicated cross-country move with a mismatched schedule.
My main focus is still hands-on type stuff, but with my existing backgrounds/experiences, I’ll be open to considering some of the advanced programs if they think I’m a good match. That said….still probably won’t apply for about 8 months due to my current lease – but I’ve been in touch and will fire off a few more feelers and talk to some friends with more experience in the area, etc.
If you’re gonna do O&G in NoDak you can room with MikeS and he’ll have someone to help drink all his beer.
I don’t need any help drinking my beer! That said, you can make pretty sweet $$ with pretty low cost of living in the Bakken.
But if you don’t like the climate in Newport News…
That was fun. You could’ve added some slurping, stretching, slobbering sound effects, but that would’ve probably been too much.
Hah hah
Like I needed another reason never to step foot in another Starbuck’s.
You mean you don’t want to spend $12 for a cup of burnt coffee?
Why do you hate diabetics?
I’ve told this story before. When I was a paramedic in the ghet-to, we had a trauma center open up in another part of the county, full of wypipo. We transported a guy over there whose arm had been ripped off at the elbow in a dump truck size compressor. While we were cleaning the rig, a nurse came out and asked if he was a diabetic. She had found a 1cc syringe in his boot. I just looked at her. She had an “ohhh” moment, turned around and walked away.
Was he at least calm and relaxed about his new nickname — Lefty?
Oddly enough, it was his right arm that had been ripped off.
I ain’t never told this one. About 11 years ago we were looking after my niece. She was 16 and doing a little drug phase ( she’s over it now.) She brought her boyfriend over and somehow they made a deal for him to get some fentanyl patches. Not one to judge, I gave him advice instead. I told him to cut one in half and then wait at least two hours before deciding if he needed more.
Next day, I’m on my way to work and I get a call. My wife says the boyfriend is not waking up and then puts the niece on the phone. I asked her how many patches he used and she didn’t know. She said he’s turning blue. I told her to check him all over and remove any patches. Then I told her to splash him with ice water and put ice down his pants . I told her to slap his face and wake him up no matter what.
That’s when I knew I had to turn around and go back home. So I run every stop sign and finally get there. My niece is sprinkling water with her fingertips at his now blue face. I said NO! and I threw the bowl in his face. I picked him up off the bed and immediately saw another patch on his back. I removed it and dragged him into the shower, turned it on cold and started slapping the shit out of him. I ran and got all the ice we had and shoved it down his pants and kept slapping him. He wasn’t coming to.
I told the niece she had to call 911. She did and then she starts beating around the bush like ” he smoked some pot and might have taken a valium..” I yelled at her to tell them he’s overdosing, goddamit! Luckily, we lived in Burbank then. They show up before you can hang up the phone, compared to L.A. who take about an hour.
About 5 paramedics rushed in. One dragged him into the living room and gave him the shot. The others were taking vitals and calling them out. The guy who gave the shot was intensely watching the kids face. After about a minute, the kid gasped and started coughing. The shot giver then asked “what’s his vitals?” They loaded him up and drove away.
I took the niece to see him in the hospital. She still thinks she saved his life. I don’t care, but that kid’s alive because I grew up around heroin addicts. Of course the cops tried to find a way to charge somebody, but there was no there, there. Easily the most dramatic thing that’s happened to me in at least the last twenty years. The niece is just now finishing….paramedic school.
The ending is absolutely the best part of the story.
Fentanyl has been around for a long time. In the ’80s, it was called “China White”. You always knew it was going to be a long shift when a new shipment showed up.
The important thing to remember about Narcan is that it has a shorter half life than heroin. We would tie the patient down(don’t, and they will trash your ambulance), give them Narcan and transport. They would inevitably sign out and the nurse would give them some Narcan in the butt to get them past the worst of the high, so they wouldn’t be repeat customers.
I have a friend who has done his fair share of drugs but never got the attraction of heroin. It just made him throw up.
Nobody saw that coming.
When asked if Starbucks would allow employees in high crime areas to conceal carry while on the clock, a Starbucks spokesman said, “Are you fucking crazy?”
Paragraph that should be shocking but totally isn’t in 2019:
“Starbucks was fined $3,100 for violations, including not providing containers for sharp objects – such as needles – on or near the restrooms.”
WTF?
They’ve basically designated themselves a site where junkies are welcomed. Perhaps legally, too.
That location is right in downtown where the street kids and some bums congregate. Mostly street kids. Number one problem is making sure you don’t step in the number two on the sidewalks around there. Especially after others have and start tracking it.
Jesus. In sleepy Oregon? Gah. I honestly haven’t come across that sort of thing in my NYC. Our street bums are mostly mentally ill and seem to have an understanding with local businesses where they can do their business. Even the gutter punk scene in the East Village seems to have died out.
City placed portapotties around for the bums. Still don’t use them. Used to be it was drunk college kids walking back from the bars that would piss in alley doorways. In addition to the human and animal wastes, there’s tons of trash, lots of half eaten food and food containers just strewn around. The police seem to have given up, either resigned or on orders, and retreated to their new compound in more of an office park setting across the river.
On my lunch break here on Fiji.
It’s hot and humid but I work in T-shirt and light trousers (I could wear shorts but it’s not my style).
It’s a busy gig but the time flies by.
Hope you’re enjoying the new job. And you’ve got the Rugby World Cup coming up in September. I’d imagine it will be pretty crazy there given it’s probably Fiji’s only appearance on the world sports stage.
Well, apart from the Olympics.
I read a statistic that showed a total population of Fiji of about 900,000 of which 80,000 are registered rugby players.
There’s another 50k+ Fijians in New Zealand.
To replace the 100-thousand Kiwis teaching English in Japan.
AND the 568k Kiwis in Australia.
Chicken legs?
“My seat belt was on until I stopped the car when I got in the parking lot. I came here to get a soda.”
i didn’t even know that a seatbelt fine was a thing then, this was before it was a state law and was just a town ordinance.
Ignorance of the law, dude, ignorance of the law. 😛
I chuckled at “$15” (I think you said?). It’s gotta be in the $100+ range where I live.
huh, the state law is still lax
wouldnt think so how much they spend on the ad campaign.
North Dakota is way harsher than Wisconsin
It is still a secondary offense, although I’m not sure for how much longer. There’s always a constant push by the nannies to change that.
It’s $50 base in NY plus the locality can add more if you look at the officer wrong. Gotta love those vague ordinances.
It’s 125-600 here. The fines are listed as 25-125, but they have a 500 % “penalty assessment” Not sure how they pull it off, but it applies across the board. Just got a speeding ticket and it’s gonna cost 436.00
Crikey! You’d have to own an Italian super-car to get that high of a fine in North Dakota.
*does too much math*
To get a $435 speeding fine in North Dakota, you’d have to be going 158mph on the interstate (75mph speed limit)
Yeah, I was going 45 in a 25. It was in a little beach town called El Segundo, right next to the airport.
That would be $25 here.
Fun, but I feel like I would need food.
https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/army-vet-drinking-beer-pounds-ohio-man
Beeratarian sounds way more my style than breathatarian.
Without a doubt!
We need Nephilium’s expert insight.
So why exactly were you so thirsty? Would you say you had cotton mouth? Yes? Why? What were you doing to cause that? Hmm?!
He was stoned to the bejeezus.
+36 holes in the afternoon
Cannonball!
So Trump is going to be in the area Saturday, if I didn’t have to work both my jobs taht day I’d try to get my Hat and Hair mug signed.
If you were serious about it, you’d quit. Both jobs.
Id then be able to live off the vast wealth of my Patreon! Only the classiest cardboard bx over my head and The Best Ramen noodles!
I’m not sending you $2 a month for you to waste it on Ramen Noodles!!!11!!
Ramen noodles with a couple of eggs dropped into the broth at the right time is pretty tasty and protein filled.
Plus cheap.
…that was my lunch today. That fancy Korean ramen where I can only use half the spice packet because I don’t want to belch fire for the next eight hours.
You can always count on Illinois politicians.
https://hotair.com/archives/2019/04/24/flushed-feds-probing-illinois-governor-tax-evasion-toilets/
heard that one a few months ago, Classy.
Meh. Andrew “Teflon” Cuomo is as corrupt as it gets but despite the growing number of his cronies doing jail-time he’s still free to keep running the state into the ground. Doubt this goes anywhere either.
Its a requirement in IL. Governors go to jail after their term is over.
Can we extend that to all offices in all states and federally?
Throw in a gallows and I’m down with that.
Boats…
Why worry about the homeless shitting in the streets when the governor does it too?
Oh my, another insane game 7.
Multiple overtimes, please!
Wish about to be granted.
Bam!
These players are so gassed.
*excellent*
Yep. I agree that SugarFree’s post today has the Glibbies sitting in the corner, hugging their knees with a haunted look in their eyes.
…and chewing on their skin tags…
*barf*
I only read the comments on SF posts.
Ah, so you missed Huma drinking the brown pus from Hillary’s labial cysts and chewing on the skin tags she clipped also clipped from her labia.
Hawt.
If you read the comments, did you agree with OMWC recommending California Pinot, while I thought that you should switch to something white to go with the labial skin tags?
?
I mean, I was thinking of a Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand, or Sancerre. Maybe a Gruner Veltliner from Austria. You don’t want to detract from the musty, fishy notes of the labial jerky.
Oh my God.
Hilarious!
https://babylonbee.com/news/infographic-guide-to-alternative-names-for-world-religions
Hey, I enjoy hummus.
From Alan’s Snakbar?
I’m sure you do enjoy hummers bu how do feel about ground up chic peas?
Hardee har har
I’m not a dad, but I can still make dad jokes, freedom of the press and all that.
GUILTY.
https://thechive.com/2019/04/24/sunnies-bring-out-the-bunnies-10/
Wanton Wednesday: titties beyond a reasonable doubt.
Kim Jong Style
Watching players defend Harden in the half court set is hilarious. Instead of facing him, Rubio is standing dierectly behind him. Sure, that step back 3 is a threat, but just giving him the open drive and hoping help shows up seems like a terrible alternative.
Heh.
https://babylonbee.com/news/infographic-how-to-tell-nazi-from-antifa
Nice. Nitpick: Antifa doesn’t “try to blend in with left”. Antifa is the logical conclusion of the modern day left.
That’s there to set up the punchline. It is a really well developed joke. I’m sure that many on the left will read it and be shamed into changing their ways….
So, Biden is officially in. Fasten your seatbelts folks. This is going to be a wild ride.
Prediction: he’s running because he was also involved in criminality within the Obama white house. Since Mueller and the other dems are not looking likely to win he’s reluctantly entering the race.