IFLA: “The Slow Day in the Skies” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 22

Another one of those weeks where the planets refuse to align.  But, that doesn’t men there’s no news:  Saturn has returned to it’s rightful direct motion!  While Capricorn isn’t out of the dark, lonely woods of space yet, at least they’re on their way out.  For the rest of us, expect the worst impulses to stop, but with a general mental malaise for the next few weeks (er, actually several months.  Fortunately, you’re going to forget that part.)  As far as positive advice goes, Saturn direct is a very auspicious time for making righteous endings, so de-clutter your garage, kick out the couch surfer that’s overstayed their welcome, donate your unloved taxidermy to the furry charity fundraiser, that sort of thing.

Libra is pre-gaming like a mofo, poaching both Venus and Mercury.  That’s really good luck for them and general good luck for the rest of us (Libra is generous like that).  I’m expecting women to do well in the competition that I’ll be shooting at (barring my disqualification) when this post goes live (I’ll probably be on the fifth or sixth stage at that time).  While the sun in Libra would be more auspicious for my performance, Mercury there will be helpful.  Not so much Venus, though that will reduce the risk that I’ll shoot anyone.  Adding to the safety enhancement is Mars in Virgo, though if I had my druthers, I’d be shooting on a day when Mars was in Sagittarius.  Jupiter being in Sagittarius instead is a good sign, particularly if I’m looking to shoot cleanly (which I am).  Mars in Virgo also adds to the “women shooting well” probability.

Virgo ends her months with strength, literally, holding on to Mars.  Gemini hosts the moon, so good for them, but since Gemini is no Libra, the rest of us should be alert for duplicity, scheming, betrayal etc.  This also amplifies the Saturnine influence, with Gemini (and obviously the moon) also signifying transition.  So DTMFA.

Virgo: 4 of Swords reversed – recovery, awakening, circumspection, caution, narrow escape.

Libra:  The Moon – Hidden enemies, deception, illusion, danger, terror, lunacy, plots, dreams.

Scorpio:  Knight of Swords – Determination, will, anger, violence, destruction

Sagittarius:  8 of Swords – Accident, calamity, bad news, violence, crisis, censure, conflict, illness

Capricorn:  9 of Swords reversed – Struggle, doubt, shame, rumors, defiance.

Aquarius:  The High Priestess – introspection, knowledge, modesty, discretion.

Pisces:  Ace of Cups – Contentment, abundance, fertility, feasting, opulence, good news, birth, kindness, love

Aries:  The Faceless Card.  No premonitions for you!

Taurus:  2 of Cups – Love, friendship, harmony, union, relations between the sexes, sincere and mutual affection

Gemini:  The Sun reversed – lesser happiness, passion, pride, misunderstanding.

Cancer:  Queen of Swords – Dark unkind woman, sadness, separation.

Leo:  Page of Coins – Messenger, concentration, apprenticeship, work

 

Comments

257 responses to “IFLA: “The Slow Day in the Skies” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 22”

  1. Bob Boberson

    Libra: The Moon – Hidden enemies, deception, illusion, danger, terror, lunacy, plots, dreams.

    So, Monday?

    1. Cy

      Nope, just the days that end in ‘y.’

  2. Tres Cool

    “narrow escape”

    Well, I have that going for me. Which is nice.

    1. Yusef

      Escape from what? there’s the question,
      Sup Tres!
      and all you monkeys out there!

      1. Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

  3. Crusty Juggler

    Cancer: Queen of Swords – Dark unkind woman, sadness, separation.

    I have a drug test to pass this week so…thanks.

    1. Tonio

      Good luck.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Thanks!

    2. DrOtto

      Best get to studying.

    3. DEG

      Good luck.

    4. Drake

      Dark unkind woman, sadness, separation.

      That is basically my dating history. Nice to know it’s not my fault.

  4. Taurus: 2 of Cups – Love, friendship, harmony, union, relations between the sexes, sincere and mutual affection

    So … I’mma get laid this week?

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Good luck – we’re all counting on you.

      1. Tonio

        ^This. I’m going through one of the longest dry spells of my adult life (months), and it’s driving me crazy.

          1. I love Macy. The girl, not so much.

            I kind of put Macy in the same category as Buscemi, a character actor sought for its own sake instead of as a supporting character.

            However, after Boardwalk Empire, it’s difficult to see Buscemi as those goofy characters he plays.

          2. Tonio

            Ha. Cute.

          3. dbleagle

            I met Macy in an LAX airline lounge. I was in uniform and he came up to me and engaged me in conversation. He seemed like a nice guy. He was the only guy who could have performed his role in “Fargo” and he’s good in “Shameless” as well.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: Queen of Swords – Dark unkind woman, sadness, separation. – nonsense

    1. Sean

      Agreed.

  6. Crusty Juggler

    OT: The West Wing is 20 years old. Too many Democrats still think it’s a great model for politics.

    The West Wing has come to so thoroughly define the way that many in the center-left have come to think about Washington that it’s had a deleterious effect on their beliefs about how Washington should work. On the one hand, The West Wing holds up as ideal comfort food television. But on the other, its politics are profoundly limited.

    As the one Troo Libertarian I find my politics are best reflected in 1975’s, “Rollerball.”

    1. Isn’t Rollerball an anti-corporation screed?

      1. Raven Nation

        Yes, sort of. But mostly I see it as a pro-individualist movie. Although the corporations are there, the critique, to me, seems to be of a collectivist society as a whole.

        1. Rhywun

          OT: Watched the Pies phone it in last night. What the hell was that?!

          1. Raven Nation

            Colliwobbles strike again.

            Main point: I would expect Richmond to cruise to the flag next week.

          2. Rhywun

            #metoo

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Your answer is why I am the one Troo and you are not. “Rollerball” is a movie about individualism.

  7. Sean

    40 oz of steak with 40 cal protection. Today’s lunch.

    https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/7kYPc9JURMiPNPJN3ISx5A.vRiTPHTpQIjP_r0mbuzrSU

    No, socialists/democrats, you cannot have my steak.

    1. DEG

      Excellent

  8. Suthenboy

    “Determination, will, anger, violence, destruction”

    Looks like I should have stayed in bed

    1. Cy

      Sounds like some real fun in bed.

      1. ElspethFlashman

        Depends on what you’re looking for /giggity.

  9. Rebel Scum

    introspection, knowledge, modesty, discretion

    Well, a gentleman does not ask and a lady does not tell.

    1. Good thing you’re neither a gentleman nor a lady!

  10. Crusty Juggler

    OT: Neil Gaiman on the Good Kind of Trolls

    And return I do, when I can. I love Norway. There is a gloom in Norway that creeps out in the oddest places. I delight in the Emanuel Vigeland Mausoleum in Oslo, a candle-lit chapel where people sit in silence and wait for their eyes to become accustomed to the darkness, then they stare at the naked people and skeletons painted on the shadowy walls. Part of my delight is that the windowless red-brick mausoleum is quietly just another building in a pretty, tree-lined, residential neighborhood.

    It’s such a fascinating part of the world. Alcoholism and the strangest of the strange. It’s like a cold Louisiana.

  11. Crusty Juggler

    OT: Why ‘Wichita Lineman’ Contains the Greatest Musical Couplet Ever Written

    The sucker punch of “Wichita Lineman,” the line that contains one of the most exquisite romantic couplets in the history of song—“And I need you more than want you / and I want you for all time”—could be many people’s perfect summation of love, although some think it’s something sadder and perhaps more profound.

    I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker for the Glenn Campbell/Jimmy Webb connection.

    1. Cy

      Meatloaf did it better.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Meat wishes he had Webb’s chops.

    2. I love me some Glen Campbell. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

        1. That also features two of my least-liked people in country music.

          So back Glen Campbell. The only song sadder than “ Dreams of the Everyday Housewife” is Dan Fogelberg’s “Windows and Walls.”

          1. Gender Traitor

            For my money, you can’t beat Jacques Brel for some seriously sad songs. (I’m a sucker for sad songs.)

          2. Also relevant, and some fabulous hair, too.

          3. Not liking Johnny Cash is probably going to be controversial around her.

            And the clip following that one was… the Mike Curb Congregation. 😮

          4. dbleagle

            I thought this was their only song.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sCo5GaDq7k

          5. MikeS

            That also features two of my least-liked people in country music.

            Not liking Johnny Cash is probably going to be controversial around her(e).

            *clicks link to see*

            I can’t even right now.

  12. MikeS

    Pisces: Ace of Cups – Contentment, abundance, fertility, feasting, opulence, good news, birth, kindness, love

    Ahhh yeeeaaahhh….

  13. Crusty Juggler

    H&M comes under fire for ‘disrespectful’ ad that features a young Black model with ‘messy’ hair pulled into an undone ponytail

    H&M has once again come under fire for a new ad that features children with messy hair.

    One of the photos from the ad showed a young Black girl with her natural hair pulled into an undone ponytail as she modeled a floral printed sweatshirt.

    The controversial ad for H&M’s clothing line for kids also featured other children with messy hairstyles.

    Nothing scares me more than a black woman’s hair. My God.

    1. Cy

      What are these people going to do when there is an actual crisis int he world? Die?

      1. DEG

        Hopefully.

    2. commodious spittoon

      “It’s essential that we have a conversation about”

      There isn’t a less essential topic.

    3. Rhywun

      I don’t get it.

      1. Chafed

        Me neither.

  14. dbleagle

    Aries: The Faceless Card. No premonitions for you!

    The universe “others” us. Don’t worry HE, the universe still don’t care.

    1. Rhywun

      Yeah, what the hell is that?! How am I supposed to confront the week with that nonsense?

      1. MikeS

        With copious amounts of alcohol and reckless abandon. Duh.

        1. Sean

          ⬆⬆ Yup.

        2. ElspethFlashman

          So, like usual, then?

      2. Identify as a different sign?

    2. hayeksplosives

      Yay!!

      I don’t believe in that astrology mumbo-jumbo anyway. The skepticism is just an Aries trait of mine.

      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  15. Crusty Juggler

    I quit ‘quitting sugar’: Why the woman who told us all to avoid the sweet stuff now eats cake… and has chocolate every day

    I love freaking people out by eating cake,’ she says, smirking.

    ‘I eat chocolate every day and I love red wine too. They’re my favourite things on the planet. I can’t live without that stuff.’

    Yet she still won’t touch orange juice – because the sugar in fruit is ‘worse’ for the body.

    She ‘eats whatever she wants’ but then admits ‘I beat myself up’ for succumbing to a croissant.

    As if this wasn’t startling enough, she now insists she has ‘never told anyone not to eat sugar’.

    Yet, it’s there in black and white, in the opening pages of her first book. She writes: ‘When you first quit sugar, you must quit ALL of it… so you can break the addiction.’ At the end of the eight-week plan she says ‘some fruit and safe table sugar alternatives can be reintroduced’.

    Today, though, she brushes all that aside, saying: ‘It’s in my past now.

    ‘I never restricted the amount of food I ate. Now I say, I quit I quit sugar, I can do what I want. I gave myself a chance to recalibrate. I know how much I can handle.’

    Actually sugar is good – eat sugar, fatties!

  16. I think someone on Glibs (not me) needs to embark on foreskin restoration and blog about it.

    1. BTW: I’m crushing some jalapeño poppers and Alaskan Husky IPA while watching NM United. Ergo: I win, you lose.

      1. Further: To anyone (Rhywun, that’s you) that actually gives a shit about USL Championship; I can’t be the only one who’s disappointed that Reno 1868 didn’t call themselves Reno 911.

        1. Rhywun

          Ha!

          I mostly watch some east coast games when I have time. Rooting for PGH.

          1. My sis lived in Pittsburgh for 15 years, thought she just recently moved back to ABQ. I enjoy watching them too and have a soft spot for Steel City.

      2. MikeS

        Thank you for denoting which type of poppers you are crushing.

        1. Tonio

          ^Old-skool.

    2. Tonio

      Nope. I actually considered that once for about five minutes. Possible, but not worth it. Plus, I can always enjoy the foreskins of others — theoretically anyway.

      1. “I can always enjoy the foreskins of others”

        Being who (((I))) am it was always in the contract. And most of the high quality (ie: non-activist) research seems to indicate that it doesn’t make a difference. However, I’d be lying it I wasn’t curious what difference it made.

        1. Tonio

          It should in theory make the glans more sensitive. I find it to be a really attractive look. The looseness makes things slightly less frictiony for the person taking it during PIA (and I would assume PIV).

          I can also do this certain little foreskin trick during fellatio that causes most guys to levitate right off the bed.

          1. “I can also do this certain little foreskin trick during fellatio that causes most guys to levitate right off the bed.”

            If libertarian women existed, I’m sure they’d be interested in hearing about this technique.

          2. Tonio

            Ancient homo secret.

          3. I find uncircumcised penises to be unattractive.

          4. Logged: Mojeaux prefers crew neck to turtle neck.

      2. Crusty Juggler

        On some days it’s like breaking a hard-boiled egg.

      1. Strike 1: Canadian
        Strike 2: Lame Acronym
        Strike 3: Activist BS

        They’re out.

    3. Sean

      Baloney & crazy glue?

        1. Rhywun

          Read my mind.

  17. Me to Mr. Mojeaux: Hey look at this little bird playing dead.

    Mr. Mojeaux: It’s game time. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Look, Mahomes is talking.

    Me: Patrick Mahomes is not the second coming of Christ.

    Mr. Mojeaux: No, but he is coming back at Christ’s right hand.

    ??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️

    1. “Patrick Mahomes is not the second coming of Christ”

      That’s debatable.

  18. Rebel Scum

    I am getting too old to go on multi-day benders. That being said *cracks beer* time for football. Again, I am the lowest projected score in the office fantasy football league and I’ve yet to win a game. I guess I’ll just enjoy the chili I made.

    1. Rebel Scum

      And if anyone is curious, Amazon will deliver you booze.

      1. Tonio

        YMMV in certain jurisdictions.

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Drizly is a problem!

    2. You’re newly single. Drink away.

      1. Tonio

        Sounds like you’re better off single. Still sucks in the short term — or doesn’t, IYKWIM.

        1. Then again, maybe the lack is part of why he’s single.

          1. Rebel Scum

            Let it be known that I dumped her because she was basically useless as a partner.

          2. I’m sure the lack of blow jobs didn’t help.

            OR: if the blow jobs existed, I’m sure there’s a girl out there who does it better. And has bigger tits.

          3. Tonio

            I have never had an actually good blowjob from a woman, and have received that from over ten women — granted most of them brainy college girls back in the day. I’m not saying that the ladies can’t; I’ve heard of women who were said to be quite talented, just never had the, erm, pleasure.

            There is something to be said for having the equipment — I always give the blowjob I’d want to receive. Seems to have worked well for me so far.

            I have noticed an unfortunate deterioration of BJ skills among younger male homosexuals. Very disappointing. You’ve never seen a look of dejection like the one you get after you say “Look boy, this is the way you do it…” and demonstrate.

          4. Tonio

            …and maybe why I don’t get laid more.

          5. Rebel Scum

            She isn’t particularly good at bj’s. So that didn’t help the situation.

            And has bigger tits.

            I like proportionality but I have come around on the top-heavy vs. bottom heavy debate. I like both T and A. So as long as a girl has a decent A, I am good with her being slightly top-heavy.

          6. I can see all of that and it makes total sense. I often wonder about doing cunny on a woman as a dood and wondering what I’m doing wrong vs. how a lesbian would do it. You can ask a woman to show you how she uses her hand and then emulate; not so much how she would use her mouth (unless you have an exceptionally talented woman and then you should probably propose).

          7. Tonio

            My first woman lover had been exclusively lesbian beforehand. She was demanding, but the skills I learned stood me in good stead for the next couple of decades. Thanks, Lisa!

          8. I wonder about legit bi-folks: are they Swiss army knives, or are they jacks of all trades, masters of none?

          9. Rebel Scum

            Either way, bi people have a great advantage in sex. Way more options/chances.

          10. hayeksplosives

            (Keeps mouth shut on this topic)

          11. Sean

            Damn, that’s harsh.

          12. Uselessness is a pretty good reason to dump someone.

          13. Rebel Scum

            I can only do all the chores inside and outside, and pay for everything while being constantly nagged and unappreciated for so long.

          14. Tonio

            I’m not seeing any hate or even bitterness. Just a sad realization. That’s a terrible place to come to in a relationship. Ugh.

          15. Sean

            Oh, I’m not disputing his statement. It’s brutal in its simplicity.

          16. DEG

            Good reason to dump her.

    3. Crusty Juggler

      Share the Chilli recipe pls.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Nothing special. I kindof wing it. 2 lbs of ground beef (or turkey, if you prefer), cans of light and dark kidney beans, black beans, chopped onion and green pepper, can and a half of tomato sauce, diced jalapeno. Season to your liking. I do salt, pepper, garlic powder. And other than the jalapeno I don’t spice it up too hot. You can always add, but you can’t subtract.

        And then, of course, top it with some cheddar and make sure you have Lays Scoops cornchips.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Leftovers for chili dogs?

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Good vs Evil

    Trump, who on Tuesday held fund-raisers in Silicon Valley and Beverly Hills, enacted a different form of eco-trolling, when he promised on Wednesday to cite San Francisco for the environmental damage that its homeless population has caused. On a roll, the following day, he made good on a yearlong threat to deny California the right to continue setting its own, more stringent tailpipe-emissions standards, which the state has had since Nixon first granted it the authority, as part of the Clean Air Act, in 1970. In a joint statement by the E.P.A. and the Department of Transportation, the Trump Administration also withdrew permission for California to require carmakers to offer zero-emissions vehicles, a prerogative enshrined in Obama’s 2013 Clean Air Act. Back then, the mandate was designed to stimulate innovation, for our collective salvation; in these dark ages of retrograde, reactionary American climate policy, it served only to provoke a gaslighting, gas-loving President who’s determined to turn back time.

    On Friday, California, as it has become accustomed to doing, sued the Administration in an effort to preserve the state’s legacy rights surrounding emissions standards and clean vehicles. (Twenty-three other states and three cities joined the suit, which was filed in federal court in D.C.) “The environment is California’s foreign policy,” Gavin Newsom, the governor of California, told me on Thursday, as the complaint was being finalized. “It’s where we assert ourselves on the international stage, not just the national stage.” This is the sixtieth lawsuit that California has filed against the Trump Administration and, according to Newsom, by far the most consequential. “We have the law on our side, we have the facts on our side, we have science on our side, and we have moral authority—not just the formal authority—to fight back,” he told me.

    How can anyone maintain this level of melodramatic hysteria without succumbing to a brain embolism?

    1. Ability to have a brain embolism presupposes the existence of a brain.

    2. MikeS

      This is the sixtieth lawsuit that California has filed against the Trump Administration

      What in the actual fuck? That’s a new lawsuit every…what, 2 weeks? Anybody know what their win/loss record is?

      1. Tonio

        That’s a lot of tax dollars to write all those briefs.

        1. It’s not their money.

    3. Rhywun

      our collective salvation

      *shudder*

    4. DEG

      How can anyone maintain this level of melodramatic hysteria without succumbing to a brain embolism?

      They have a brain? I think that assumes facts not in evidence.

  20. dbleagle

    Two things you can count on in with Green Bay.

    1) If you give Rodgers a stupid break he will hurt you with a TD or huge gain.
    2) They will NOT run a punt or kickoff for a TD. (No team has gone longer than the current GB streak. In fact every team in the NFL has one or more since GB last scored.)

    1. “If you give Rodgers a stupid break he will hurt you with a TD or huge gain”

      Unpopular opinion: Rodgers is a better pure QB than Brady. Without a superhuman O-line, Brady is only great, not the best of all time.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Brady without Evil Genius Belichik would be nowhere near the level he’s at in the Pats system.

        I’d like to know more about Pats scouting methods.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Rogers is my qb in ffb and so far the only one getting me points today. I also have a GB wr but, against my instinct, I benched him today. And of course he is getting mad points right now…

      1. dbleagle

        I lucked into Mahomes as my QB. Hopefully he stays healthy.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 8 of Swords – Accident, calamity, bad news, violence, crisis, censure, conflict, illness

    Business as usual.

  22. mikey

    Hey Suthen,
    I’m sure Digby’s late nite links are past your bedtime, so you probably missed this.
    Enjoy your next batch jambalia.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/94FmI2A

    1. Not the best fap I’ve ever had, but not the worst either.

    2. Tonio

      [shudders]

      1. hayeksplosives

        That belongs on a bad episode of Star Trek.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Ew…

  23. AlmightyJB

    ‘Awakening”

    Like a serial killer?

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Unmolested, he was.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    From that New Yorker thing:

    Now, of the country’s ten most-polluted metropolitan areas, seven are in California.

    Huh. Sounds like the marginal return on those regulations isn’t all that impressive.

    I guess they need a mandatory “buyback” for all vehicles made before 2010.

    1. “seven are in California”

      Damn Republicans sabotaging their utopia!

    2. hayeksplosives

      ~snort!~

    3. mikey

      Just like *something* will always be the leading cause of death in children, there will always be the ten most polluted cities no matter how clean our air is.

      1. hayeksplosives

        I don’t suppose the absolute population of said cities and relatively high concentrations of industry have anything to do with it.

        1. “relatively high concentrations of industry”

          Well California just needs to outlaw industry and that’ll fix everything.

          1. hayeksplosives

            I’m sure there are people who actually believe this.

            Those are the lefties that make Pelosi look downright level-headed.

            She’s a corrupt and terrible person, but she knows which side the bread is buttered on.

          2. Rebel Scum

            Can’t we just outlaw California? Or eject it from the Union?

          3. hayeksplosives

            Can San Diego County get an exception and remain part of the Union? We have a strategically important natural harbor, Naval Base, Marine Air Base, and Camp Pendleton.

            Just end the welfare state, purge the politicians, shred, the state constitution, and start over.

          4. hayeksplosives

            Oh, and San Diego includes yours truly! Don’t maroon me.

          5. Rebel Scum

            As a Virginian I am partial to Norfolk Naval Station. But strategic locations are strategic.

            Don’t maroon me.

            As if we’d leave a bodacious glib behind.

          6. Yusef

            If they start over, I’ll come back, till then,
            AZ

          7. MikeS

            We’d need to keep the southern part of Cali to maintain a Pacific port.

            I mean, we’re gonna get rid of Oregon and Washington at the same time, right?

          8. hayeksplosives

            Thank you, Rebel Scum!

  26. dbleagle

    Since dawn comes late to Polynesia so two things for OMWC.

    CONGRATS OMWC on getting a new position. Relocating sucks, especially during an AZ late summer.

    1965- It was good.

    1. “CONGRATS OMWC on getting a new position”

      I’ve been unusually drunk this weekend; what did I miss here?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Orgy

        1. Darn. Finally my chance to get up into our illustrious female libertarian complement and I have one too many.

      2. Rebel Scum

        He discovered reverse-cowgirl?

      3. DEG

        I missed the morning links too, but just because I’ve been too lazy to read them.

        I guess congratulations are in order for OMWC?

        1. DEG

          Reading them now, yes, congratulations to OMWC!

      4. Crusty Juggler

        He was just hired at a local elementary school.

    2. Tonio

      “Polynesia”

      Someone should write us an article on that.

      And I’m sorry I missed your lunar landing tribute; going to revisit that. The anniversary is always a down time for me because we should have a permanent lunar base by now.

  27. hayeksplosives

    Congrats indeed OMWC, and presumably also for SP since the Mr’s job hunt uncertainty is now at an end!

    Crack open a celebratory bottle of … something.

  28. hayeksplosives

    My neighbor in the property that abuts ours in the back yard just called and said my cat was begging to get into her house and seemed a little panicky (the cat, not the neighbor). She said she then saw a big shadow of “a hawk” circling overhead.

    So I went out and called the cat back to the house. She came bounding over the ridge between our houses and into the house.

    I looked up, and the “hawk” was a freaking Golden Eagle!! It was ginormous.

    1. Tonio

      Yow! Glad your kitteh is safe.

    2. MikeS

      Yikes! Pussy almost got eaten!

      1. dbleagle

        Lucky cat. Bald Eagles prefer fish but Goldens are small animal eaters. Saw one carrying away a small dog in California. Like clockwork the owner came to my office to complain, loudly and at length, the next day. I listened and mouthed platitudes. A few days later I saw her husband who apologized.

      2. hayeksplosives

        I see what you did there, MikeS.

        1. MikeS

          😉

    3. “It was ginormous”

      That’s what she said.

      1. MikeS

        …to make you feel good.

    4. DEG

      It’s good your cat is OK.

    5. Yeah, all of our cats have been indoor cats. Too much wildlife around here.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, we arrived here in the foothills of the mountains with 2 cats. Coyote took one of them within 2 months.

    6. We were training our cats to go in and out the cat door, but they were kittens. Coyote sighting made them totally indoor cats. They remember.

  29. hayeksplosives

    Looks like Vinatieri might have got his mojo back. Made a 49 yd FG, no problem. And an XP.

  30. Rebel Scum:

    “I have come around on the top-heavy vs. bottom heavy debate”

    Inspiration.

    https://archive.li/3cqIk/594c26675f503bb80744b96f8ae743d3c200b0f7

    1. Rebel Scum

      Very nice. Would and would gladly make her breakfast after.

    2. DEG

      She looks like the bustier version of a woman I once asked out and who shot me down.

    1. MikeS

      Very interesting. Thanks!

  31. DEG

    Leo: Page of Coins – Messenger, concentration, apprenticeship, work

    /scratches head

    This doesn’t necessarily look bad.

    How’d the competition go?

  32. Caput Lupinum

    Taurus: 2 of Cups – Love, friendship, harmony, union, relations between the sexes, sincere and mutual affection

    Sounds good, let’s check the girlfriend’s:

    Cancer: Queen of Swords – Dark unkind woman, sadness, separation.

    Damn.

  33. hayeksplosives

    I see that the ritual slaughter of the Jets at the hands of the Patriots proceeds apace.

    1. Drake

      It’s halftime. I think I’ll go do errands. I can’t imagine the 2nd half will be different. I’ve seen more exciting practices.

      1. The only bad thing about the Jets losing is that the Giants shills in the NY media get more insufferable.

  34. So that happened.

    1. What’s “that”?

      1. Chiefs v Ravens halftime, 23 to 6.

        No sad Pat.

        1. If Mahomes keeps performing this well, will you be more likely to get sex from your husband? 😉

          1. LOL The only thing that gets in our way are 2 teenagers. We have to plan around when they’re both going to be out of the house for a while.

          2. You could always have sex loud enough to embarrass them. 😀

          3. I have a related story but I am at church typing on my phone.

          4. I don’t want to speculate how loud Mojeaux’s orgasms are.

            But based on her fiction I’m saying minimum 90 dB.

          5. Loud enough to be heard by quiet teenagers, yes.

          6. DEG

            I have a related story but I am at church typing on my phone.

            Dick jokes incoming?

          7. Not an Economist

            Well the Baltimore QB mentioned in the Atlantic story isn’t playing all that well. And the Chiefs aren’t known for their defense

          8. You are right about our defense.

  35. hayeksplosives

    Molly cat in her coyote vest.

    Don’t think it would deter a freaking golden eagle though.

    https://imgur.com/a/xpt9ZIo

    1. My parents had a dog named Molly. Cairn terrier, and the best small dog you could ever have. Since cairns were bred to get into small spaces like those created within cairns, obstacles never fazed her and she liked being out on the hiking trails. Also a tremendous disposition.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Good terriers are outstanding people ?. (You know what I mean.)

        Bad terriers are the spawn of Satan.

        They don’t seem to be available in “in-between” option.

    2. Crusty Juggler

      That’s so cool you got her that. It’s such a silly-sounding product but it really makes sense.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, the long plastic bristles bother the coyetes’ noses and they give up trying to get a grip.

        1. Crusty Juggler

          Yes. I mean the pet looks like a giant dork but they are safer for sure.

          1. hayeksplosives

            She struts like she thinks she’s a bad ass.

            About as authentic as a West Side Story gangsta

    3. Rhywun

      LOL I can’t imagine trying to get something like that on either of my cats. Not without backup, and a mop and bucket to clean up any blood.

  36. Crusty Juggler

    Norm MacDonald taking the lead on prison reform.

    The man is nothing short of a hero.

    1. hayeksplosives

      Yeah, I met him once when he performed at my university back in the 90s. He copped a good feel as we posed for a picture.

      I did not complain. A brush with greatness!

      1. Rebel Scum

        Something something “grab them by the pussy” something something “they let you do it”.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Well, it was side boob. I was wearing a brown knit turtleneck that showed off my “assets”. Can’t blame the man for appreciating a younger, thinner, HE.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            IT’S ALMOST SWEATER SEASON!

            Thanks for the reminder.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Bronx Beat on SNL.

            https://mobile.twitter.com/nbcsnl/status/1047945424017940480?lang=en

            (A 12 second clip). Ah, Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler. Maya’s freckles are enchanting.

          3. Crusty Juggler

            That is a fun clip, and maya rudolph is a delight.

          4. To be fair, your boobs are big enough that they’ve got lots of sides.

            /ducking

          5. My man.

            And Ms. Splosives is STACKED.

  37. Crusty Juggler

    Atlanta man shares touching message with wife during two-day labor

    The video shows Kendall Caver standing by his wife, Jasmine Caver, as he flips through a series of pages full of reassuring words and anecdotes.

    Kendall says his wife was anxious leading up to her due date on Sept. 3. She had previously had a miscarriage.

    “I wanted to do something that could help take her mind off all that was happening and to help her focus on her breathing,” he said.

    In the booklet, Kendall noted through the “rough times” the couple went through, including a “pregnancy loss,” and said it took “prayer” and “patience” for their relationship to succeed.

    “You are my best friend, soulmate and in just a few pushes, you’ll be the most amazing mother our daughter could ever ask for,” Caver wrote in the final pages.

    Men > women imho

    1. Rebel Scum

      Bros > Hoes

    2. Pushing new people out of their genitals? FAIL

      1. hayeksplosives

        Impressive, yes, but it doesn’t bestow sainthood on the individual woman.

        Some moms are still insufferable cunts.

        1. I beg to differ. My dong is a saint for the incredible kidney stone I passed last month.

          (not really)

          Though there is this:

          https://i.redd.it/co3feanzxn611.jpg

          1. hayeksplosives

            What the…?

        2. Akira

          Some moms are still insufferable cunts.

          That maternal instinct does break their brain sometimes. They make it their mission to baby-proof the entire world.

          But in all fairness, I did read a great article by a new mother and gun enthusiast that could be roughly summed up as “I’m a mother and I support gun rights because I need to protect this child by any means necessary, and I’m at a physical disadvantage to men.”

    3. hayeksplosives

      Men > women as professional coworkers and employees, at least in my experience.

      Glad that I was given a chance considering how fracking high-maintenance chicks can be. And I’ve seen up close and personal how coldly women use hints at sexual harassment and chauvinism to manipulate their way up.

      Fucking mercenaries, giving us good gals a high hurdle to overcome with men who’ve been once burned.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      OK, that second one is hawt.

    2. Rebel Scum

      1 looks appropriately skeptical of me. 2 looks like Helen Hunt but hot.

  38. hayeksplosives

    Enjoying a nice cold bottle of Chaucer’s mead. Came with a couple of spice packets for the warm mulled option.

    I’m saving them for something else… not sure what yet.

  39. Ozymandias

    Just wanted to say thanks to Sir Digby for his shout-out on Saturday night. Next chapter is mostly dialogue, so for those who have been laboring along through the oceans of statutes and regulations, this next chapter is a backstroke by comparison.

    And could it be, is it really possible, that Trump is playing NthD chess with the Media and Dems??

    Could he have run a “poison pill” by bringing it up with Ukarine’s President on the phone, knowing that someone in the IC would leak it? Man, if he pulled that off, he should get four more years.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The money quote

      CNN later acknowledged that the whistleblower had no first-hand knowledge of the call

      1. hayeksplosives

        (Redaction in tiny font of page 28?)

      2. Ozymandias

        I had the same reaction to that little “blurb” from CNN. I’m really beginning to think Trump knew it would be leaked and he was hoping for it. Because the media gave zero fucks about Biden’s blatant admission – boasting, in fact – that he got another country’s prosecutor fired. It just coincidentally happened to involve a company of his son’s Totes co-inky-dink.

      3. Suthenboy

        “…the whistleblower had no first-hand knowledge…”

        But surely he is familiar with Trump’s thinking.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Lol.

    2. Suthenboy

      The cats keep chasing the laser, Trump keeps getting what he wants and everyone keeps asking “Could he be playing us? Is he drunken master. Nooooo, surely not. He is a buffoon.”

      I don’t believe in luck.

    3. leon

      You have to look at it. Who brought up the story, who propoagated it and why? I subscribe that what happened is that they thought they could nail trump initially, and that others who spread the story more saw it as a win-win. Nail Trump OR get rid of Biden.

          1. Or this, which I always thought should be played a wedding just cause of the name.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X9NOekjNoc

    1. Tonio

      Miss Whiz, for the win! This looks like a successor to the Lady-J product I have been recommending for years. This can be a big problem for female athletes, particularly in the winter months when they are layered up.

  40. Peeve:

    Soccer commentators that are *obviously* non-Hispanic over pronunciating Hispanic names.

    “Rrrrrodrrrrriguez passes to (non spoken H)eRrrrrrerrrrra and HEEMeneZsssss takes the shot… GOOOOOOOOOOOL”

    You’re from Racine, WI. Get a life.

    1. It’s like British commentators saying “Errsill” instead of “Ohzill”. Either way, the guy’s a doosh.

      1. The Ö isn’t that difficult to pronounce.

    2. Rhywun

      Which commentator?

      1. Some back bencher on the El Paso vs. COS game.

    3. hayeksplosives

      Peeve: soccer.

      1. *deletes trenchant remark*

        1. hayeksplosives

          My apologies. To each his own.

    4. leon

      Man this is something i’ve run to a lot. I speak spanish semi-fluently. And names of Spanish places in Spanish speaking countries i will say correctly. But if the word has been thoughrouly anglicized, I won’t because I’m always talking to English speakers. For example I don’t say Oo-ru-gwai. I say Ur-i-guay like regular Americans.

      1. Akira

        I’ve never heard a person speaking a non-English language abruptly break accent and say “United States of America” or any other American name in that generic TV announcer accent; they always say it in their own accent. Not sure where the idea came from that Americans are supposed to do that. Wasn’t there an Obama speech where he says “tortillas” with a put-on Spanish accent?

        For example I don’t say Oo-ru-gwai. I say Ur-i-guay like regular Americans.

        Heheh, you are gay.

        1. Rhywun

          I generally agree. But…

          Özil is an interesting example. Given that he is quite a prominent player, I think pronouncing it wrong takes more effort at this point. I can excuse getting, say, Çalhanoğlu wrong, but not Özil.

  41. hayeksplosives

    Some exciting 4th qtr comebacks in the first round of NFL.

    Thank you, Red Zone Channel!

  42. hayeksplosives

    New thread!

  43. ElspethFlashman

    Aside from the block party, this has been a weekend of the badddd cold Chez LH. Doggy woo is so sweet she can’t leave my side.