Glibertarians.com 2019 Archive

Author: mexican sharpshooter

  • I Want to Tell You About Heshi Socks: A Review of The New Right, by Michael Malice

    First thing first:  About the socks. I bought a couple pairs of these in response to Michael Malice’s book and his delightful podcast (Promo Code: Welcome30).  They are indeed nice.  I am not going to say these socks will change your life when you buy them.  If a pair of socks changes your life, chances are pretty good you are homeless or your life otherwise sucks.  So grab a pair of these socks, and if they change your life, please consider reevaluating the choices you made to get to this point.

     

     

    This is my review of Anchorage Brewing Co Easy Evil Black Raspberry Saison

    As a quick primer on the author:  his Wikipedia page can be found at this link.  For those refusing I enact their labor, Malice is an anarchist is the purest sense.  He is best known for his appearances on Kennedy or his previous book, Dear Reader:  The Unauthorized Biography of Kim Jung Il.  He is has a fairly well-known presence on Twitter; essentially as a troll with a large following.  Ever wonder where the reply of “Your*” in response to the proper use of the word, “you’re” (or vice versa) came from?  That started with him, and is meant to generate an indignant response from the person who made the mistake of making a statement using the second person, is incapable of arguing the merits of the idea, and instead focuses on grammar.  That is what trolling is after all, an attempt to manipulate the emotional response of a half-wit to the troll’s delight.  His latest book The New Right:  A Journey to the Fringe of American Politics, is available here on Amazon.  It is a treatise if sorts, on how culture is derived from the fringe of society and how that fringe is made up of various factions on “the right”.

    He has certain definitions and views that should first be identified before this book is further discussed.

    Conservatism vs. Progressivism:  There is no functional difference between the two, aside from acceptance of the pace and direction culture moves.  He consistently defines a conservative as, “a progressive driving the speed limit”.

    The New Right:

    A loosely connected group of individuals united by their opposition to progressivism, which they perceive to be a thinly veiled fundamentalist religion dedicated to egalitarian principles and intent on totalitarian world domination via globalist hegemony.

    The Cathedral:  An oversimplified definition may be the “Evangelical Left”; universities, the media, and expansive government.  He cites Mencius Moldbug for the concept but a more convenient quote (for me) is from Jim Goad:

    […]cultural progressivism, egalitarianism, social justice, or whatever the fuck you’re calling it these days–is simply Christianity with God removed.  Your “God”–your untouchable premise–is the naively childish and entirely unscientific notion of innate human equality.

    A way to think of this book, is a comparison he makes on his interview with Michael Malice on his podcast to the classic, Dante’s Inferno.  In this book, with assistance of a Roman poet/philosopher Virgil, Dante descends into Hell to witness the eternal punishment of sinners.  One discovers with Dante, the further along the book, the further removed from grace the sin, the further he must descend into Hell, thus the harsher the punishment.  Here the further along the reader goes, he or she descends further from “safe” and “respectable” cultural and political thought.

    Safe and respectable according to whom?  The Cathedral.  This choice in metaphors is not made lightly.

    This book otherwise takes a long look at the intersection of various subgroups that make up the right as Malice sees it.  He begins where many at this site presently are:  the convergence of Murray Rothbard/Pat Buchannan (Anachro-capitalist/Paleo-conservative) wings that came about in the early 1990’s.  This is prescient for me, because this is several years prior to my coming of age and any explanation I was ever given to this philosophy was framed negatively.  He then presents others such as Milo Yionopo… Yoiunoppo…  He presents others such as infamous homosexual agent-provocateur Milo and how The Cathedral, with some success, attempted to take him down a few years ago.  We see this today with Steven Crowder, though his forays with the Cathedral are far too recent, and probably too blasé to be discussed by Malice in this book.  In later chapters he discusses other figures such as Mike Cernivoch, Gavin McGinnes, Anne Coulter, Jared Taylor, Pax Dickinson…and beyond.  It is thorough exposé across a wide spectrum of free thinking people, united only in their opposition to progressives.

    One can look at this book, and the comparison to Dante’s Inferno and view it is as a bit of a warning.  To whom is this warning directed?  At the risk of being declared a heretic around here…you.  YES, YOU.  THE READER.

    OBEY

    An analogy he constantly uses, in spite of it being a cliché, is the red pill.  This of course is a reference to the 1999 movie The Matrix and essentially means one is exposed to the existence of the lie that is Wonderland, and taking the red pill means remaining in Wonderland and following the White Rabbit where it takes you.  In this case the lie is the Cathedral, and the pillars that hold it up.  Once one takes the red pill, he or she becomes acquainted with the symbols and the methods the Cathedral uses to keep the population under control.  The problem of course, is in The Matrix, Morpheus only gives Neo a single red pill.  This is important as only one is needed.  Don’t take the entire bottle.  Another way perhaps to look at this is the movie They Live.  Here it is not a red pill but a pair of sunglasses that allows the wearer to see people as they truly are.  The problem is continually wearing the sunglasses will eventually become painful to look through.

    The analogy of the sunglasses however has several limitations, hence Malice chooses the red pill.  To begin, one first takes the red pill and discovers the truth:  there is no functional difference between progressivism, and conservatism; only the speed at which one is traveling on the road to serfdom.  The problem he finds, is once one discovers this, and immerse oneself in the literature, one begins to question everything.  One sees the media is not to be trusted, then then seeks news and opinion “elsewhere” (ALTERNATIVE FACTS!!).  Once others point out inconsistencies, and that the opinions one seeks “elsewhere” are also to not to be trusted, one descends further into the inferno, and finds oneself making unnecessary if/then connections, or connections that are dangerous to make.  i.e. George Stephanopoulos worked for the Clinton administration and expects to be taken seriously as an objective journalist (red pill), then Nick Gillespie is a cosmopolitan cuck that simply wants to be accepted by his establishment colleagues in the media (two pills), which becomes John Podesta being a tool of a secret society of child molesters (too many red pills), then escalates into taking “race realism” seriously because (((They))) are behind it and casually using racial slurs is okay if the context allows (empty bottle).  “Blood and soil” is all that remains, cowboy….

    Slow down, and think about what you are doing.  Yes, this has occurred here in a site comprised of people that identify themselves as libertarian.  Who remembers PapayaSF?

    Here is a fun example.  SpongeBob Squarepants…is gay.  No seriously, here is an article that makes a rather poor case why SpongeBob is a homosexual.  The rationalist after taking the red pill will say, “C’mon, he’s a Sponge.  Sponges reproduce asexually and its a kids show.”  Too many red pills results in coming across sites like that, and thinking there is a “gay agenda” that is putting subtle messages into children’s programing in an effort to create acceptance of homosexuality, and even make children homosexuals themselves.  After all, the show’s creators said this was certainly not the case but they said it through establishment media and they can’t be trusted…

    …anyways, this beer pours in a manner that I can only describe as “Carbonated Merlot”.  If you are the type that likes sours, or saisons, there is nothing traditional about this beer to make you think it is either, so I have no idea if you will be into it.  The tartness of the black raspberries blasts its way into everything, and it immediately turned me off at first.  You have to let it warm up slightly to get anything else past that.  There is a hint of citrus fruitiness, as it is still a saison, that you might find after letting it sit for a bit.  This is not one to chug, because you probably won’t be able to from the tartness.  Sip it, and enjoy it with a book.

    So the bottom line?  I highly recommend this book, but tread carefully out there, Heshi socks are quite nice, and Anchorage Brewing Co Easy Evil Black Raspberry Saison rates a very respectable  3.8/5.

  • This is Fake. All of it.

    Today’s focus of ire is this piece originally published in NY Times but thankfully republished on elsewhere (so no paywall.)  The author is arguing that we need fully automated…luxury communism?

    This is my review of Council Brewing Beattitude Guava  Tart Saison

    He starts in an odd place and seems to forget how economies of scale are a tenet of capitalism:

    It starts with a burger.

    In 2008 a Dutch professor named Mark Post presented the proof of concept for what he called “cultured meat.” Five years later, in a London TV studio, Mr. Post and his colleagues ate a burger they had grown from animal cells in a laboratory. Secretly funded by Sergey Brin, a co-founder of Google, the journey from petri dish to plate had cost $325,000 — making theirs the most expensive meal in history. Fortunately, the results were promising: Hanni Rützler, a nutrition scientist, concluded that the patty was “close to meat but not as juicy.” The next question was whether this breakthrough could be made cheaper. Much cheaper.

    The first “cultured beef” burgers are likely to enter the market next year, at approximately $50 each. But that won’t last long. Within a decade they will probably be more affordable than even the cheapest barbecue staples of today — all for a product that uses fewer resources, produces negligible greenhouse gases and, remarkably, requires no animals to die.

    It’s not just barbecues and burgers. Last year Just, a leader in cellular agriculture, cut a deal to start producing one of the world’s tastiest steaks, Wagyu. A company called Endless West, which also makes grapeless wine, has started to produce Glyph, the world’s first “molecular whiskey.” Luxury could be coming to all.

    The case of cultured food and drink, far from a curiosity, is a template for a better, freer and more affluent world, a world where we provide for the needs of everyone — in style.

    But how do we get there?

    Thus far, each example he gave was capitalism.  Somebody identified a need or a niche in the market that was currently missing:  meat products for people that for whatever reason cannot eat meat (personal ethics, religion, medical issues).  Whether or not other examples such as “molecular whiskey” may or may not have market demand, remains to be seen.  There is however, demand for lab grown meat, give the existence of Beyond Burgers, and the Impossible Burger, but both of these are plant based, therefore not really meat.  One thing to point out, these alternatives were also developed for the same reasons, a market niche was unfilled, so each company produced a product to fill it.  Beyond in particular uses pea protein but is put through a few processes that mimic the protein structures of meat.  It is an elegant solution really, because most meatless meats fail at tasting like meat.  More on this later.

    The problem of course, is even if they do manage to make something to replace meat, there is still going to be markets for actual meat.  Unless of course this guy somehow gets elected dictator and forces his worldview on everyone, which is thankfully unlikely.

    Later in the article he goes on to say that resource scarcity and how it will become a thing of the past once we are able to mine all the resources we would ever need from the heavens.  Of course, he goes on to describe his misunderstanding of thermodynamics:

    What’s more, renewable energy, which has been experiencing steep annual falls in cost for half a century, could meet global energy needs and make possible the vital shift away from fossil fuels. More speculatively, asteroid mining — whose technical barriers are presently being surmounted — could provide us with not only more energy than we can ever imagine but also more iron, gold, platinum and nickel. Resource scarcity would be a thing of the past.

    The consequences are far-reaching and potentially transformative. For the crises that confront our world today — technological unemployment, global poverty, societal aging, climate change, resource scarcity — we can already glimpse the remedy.

    But there’s a catch. It’s called capitalism. It has created the newly emerging abundance, but it is unable to share round the fruits of technological development. A system where things are produced only for profit, capitalism seeks to ration resources to ensure returns. Just like today’s, companies of the future will form monopolies and seek rents. The result will be imposed scarcity — where there’s not enough food, health care or energy to go around.

    Well, I guess that’s one point of view.  I kind of doubt we can run our spaceships on wind turbines, and last I checked rationing for healthcare occurs in socialized systems.  I would know, I used to work for one of them.  You know what, screw it.  I’m hungry and I am not paid enough to argue against crazy.  I’m getting a burger…

    I have tried Beyond products before, due to weird religious rules that I still follow and really don’t care what others here think of that regard.  I also considered investing when they went public but instead thought a robotics ETF was a better long term investment (thus far I am wrong…so very wrong).  I am unaware of anybody discussing this here, so I am going to find out if somebody else can make a better fake burger than I.  But where to find one?

     

    Upfront, I will say it doesn’t really look or smell any different.  The one time I tried it at home, it smelled awful out of the package, but that goes away immediately after cooking.  I am definitely not happy with how it was prepared, they seem to have burned one side of it, but its fast food.  They added mayo, which I am okay with.  Just a basic burger thus far.

    The fries suck.

    My overall opinion is it works well as a hamburger patty.  A feature of hamburgers are the toppings you put on it, as such it works in combination with everything on it.  Other Beyond products I find have the texture right, but don’t quite taste like chicken.  This made perfect sense to me, as it is processed legumes and not chicken.  About an hour or two later, I was hungry again.  The sausage is slightly better and all of these products are expensive; Carl’s Jr. charged $2 extra for it.  But then again, economies of scale will likely drop the price down in the next few years, and it will only come down to personal preference whether or not people will want to eat meat.  For now, I will take that over waxing poetic over a show better described as “communists in space” (TW TOS).

    This beer is terrible due to the use of guava.  Depending on the type of guava you have it can be sweet or sour. This is sour, much more than a garden variety saison. If you are into sour you will probably like this.  I however did not, but will give them points for trying.  Council Brewing Beattitude Guava  Tart Saison 2.0/5

     

  • ¿El Martes por la Tarde? ¡Enlaces Mexicanos!

    Buenos tardes Gliberinos!  Brett is out, selling the Tampastan Devil Rays some cocaine, so they called me in from the bullpen…apparently Raymond is his grease-man.

    Who is leading off?  Why it’s Venezuela!  Evidently inflation there fell BELOW 1 million percent.   Which means they can now use currency for fuel, assuming they still possess the means to make fire.

    Up next is El Trumpeñero, who inadvertently waved around details of the deal with Mexico in front of reporters.  Which strikes me more as a deliberate move rather than foolishness on his part. 

    The three hole is Peru.  If you didn’t know, Machu Pichu is a massive tourist attraction, but has one significant drawback:  its in the middle of nowhere.  So they decided to break ground on an airport somewhat nearby.  Naturally, people want to protest, so we’ll call this one out on fielder’s choice.

    Batting clean-up is Cuba.  Team Trump is allowing Cuban ballplayers now with the proviso that MLB assist with Venezuela, which has a slightly less crappy government than Cuba but also has significantly more active professional players.  There are three on my team.

    Deseo paz para mis hijos

    Finally, Mexico clears the bases with the new policy mandating gender neutral school uniforms.  In case you didn’t know, former Mexican President Vincente Fox has an absurdly large social media following, and said this in response:

    “They’re robbing us of the freedom to decide how to dress, how to educate our own children,” Fox wrote on Twitter. “They behave like a ‘sect’ following the high ‘priest’ Lopez.”

    Whatever muchacho.

    Here’s some tunes.  Have a great day.

  • Another Anniversary….

    Once again, the corporate overlords at Inbev and their marketing wizards decided to try their hand at a premium lager.  You might have noticed their targeted advertisements…on billboards… Much like last summer they put out a limited release to appeal to the more discerning, but unapologetically American crowd.  All 300 of us….

    This is my review of Budweiser Discovery Reserve American Red Lager

    ….that’s 40,000 gallons of Western Slope snowpack from the 1980’s

    This time around they are commemorating a momentous occasion that has a significant anniversary this year…

    No, not this guy.

    Not these guys, either.

    Its the 50th Anniversary of Apollo 11.  Yes, the first moon landing is only 15 years away from qualifying for Medicare!  Budweiser isn’t the only ones putting out special products to commemorate what is arguably America’s greatest achievement:  landing cis-gendered men on a rock in space and bringing them back alive.  Obvious companies such as Fisher and as Omega, are marking the occasion given their ties to the space program of the era.  In addition, not so obvious companies like Zippo who makes a product that nobody on a spacecraft would be caught dead with. Montegrappa, who makes a fountain pen that retails for the price one could cross-shop with a pretty awesome car.  Finally, the Royal Australian Mint is also jumping on the bandwagon with a commemorative piece to mark the occasion.

    Okay, maybe the gold coin is worth the price given its tied to the price of gold…

    Okay, I might get the space pen…

    The moon landings and NASA in general seem to at odds with libertarian thought.  On one hand, especially at the time, there was absolutely no commercial impetus for space travel.  Today it is certainly a different story.

    A popular argument for continued tax funding of NASA is the size of the overall budget.  “It’s just 0.5% of the Federal Budget.”  0.5% of the $3.4 Trillion Federal Budget is $18.4 Billion that should be spent down here.   “It only costs $54 per citizen to fund NASA.”  It cost each citizen $0 for Space X to launch a sports car.

    Musk estimated the cost of the space Tesla at $90 million, to which numerous people said “It would be better spent down here.”  Funny how that number pales to the almost $20 billion a year and the $20 billion in failures for NASA.  So many are willing to offer up other people’s money, but when it comes to our own tax dollars, the government never seems answerable.

    With all the nostalgia for NASA taken into account, they really don’t need our tax dollars, just a fund raiser of private donations.  For $1,000 NASA will name a star or planet after you, for a $1 million they will send your ashes up to rejoin the stars from whence we came, and for $1 billion they name the first Martian base after you.

    Great.  So my great-grandkids might die on Mars at the “Michael Bloomberg Center for Human Progress” at Olympus Mons.  Even still, one could argue tax dollars are still paying for Space X, given they are applying today’s guidance systems to rockets perfected in the 1960’s…by NASA, and their biggest customer for the near future are still going to be…NASA and DOD.

    That will certainly change.  Private investment in space based start-ups have already reached billions, asteroid mining is only a few years away, and there are even space blockchains.  A quick answer is of course no, there will be no need for NASA.

    Once you leave a certain distance from Earth how is anybody going to be able to realistically regulate anything?  Ventures in space will likely require levels of interpersonal cooperation between individuals we have not yet considered.  I will however admit even if a government program costing billions of dollars may not have been needed to get us off this rock…ultimately that’s what initially did it.  It is something else that can be added to the list of things better handled by people willing to risk their own fortunes.  Its one thing for us all to fail miserably together on Earth, why do the same thing across the universe?

    Too bad though, in spite of all the nostalgia surrounding the event being commemorated, the beer should be better.  It is not terrible, but the Apollo Astronauts probably won’t trade their whiskey-based cocktails before launch for this.  It is malty, almost too malty—even for me.  It has little body and is otherwise best described as better than that other stuff they make.

    I might get the pen.  Budweiser Discovery Reserve American Red Lager 2.3/5 

  • I Can’t Get No….

    A local politician decided to take action against a Facebook user that criticized her on Facebook.  It resulted in the local politician researching the Facebook user, finding out where he works, calling his HR, and informing them of their employee’s actions on Facebook.  She just wanted an apology….

    Seriously, here’s a link.  It’s a tough choice in determining who to hate more, a guy shitposting on Facebook, or the politician that appears to be trying to get him to lose his job.  No arbitrary abuse of power here…

    This is my review of Highwater Brewing Sugaree Maple Pecan Pie

    Is this the new norm for political discourse?  When did we turn into a bunch of assholes?  This is not that kind of article where I lecture you about proper discourse, or a plea for civility in political discussions, I promise you.  I am here to present a solution:

     

    Dueling.

    “Your mother is a nice lady.” “You lie, I demand an apology.” “…I am sorry your mother is a nice lady.”

    I know what six of you are thinking, “doesn’t this violate NAP?”  The rest of you are probably thinking, “Hell Yeah!”  For those six I submit there were indeed rules to dueling.

    Rule 1. The first offense requires the first apology, though the retort may have been more offensive than the insult. Example: A tells B he is impertinent, etc. B retorts that he lies; yet A must make the first apology because he gave the first offense, and then (after one fire) B may explain away the retort by a subsequent apology.

    Rule 2. But if the parties would rather fight on, then after two shots each (but in no case before), B may explain first, and A apologize afterward.

    N.B. The above rules apply to all cases of offenses in retort not of stronger class than the example.

    Rule 3. If a doubt exist who gave the first offense, the decision rests with the seconds; if they won’t decide, or can’t agree, the matter must proceed to two shots, or to a hit, if the challenger require it.

    Rule 4. When the lie direct is the first offense, the aggressor must either beg pardon in express terms; exchange two shots previous to apology; or three shots followed up by explanation; or fire on till a severe hit be received by one party or the other.

    Rule 5. As a blow is strictly prohibited under any circumstances among gentlemen, no verbal apology can be received for such an insult. The alternatives, therefore — the offender handing a cane to the injured party, to be used on his own back, at the same time begging pardon; firing on until one or both are disabled; or exchanging three shots, and then asking pardon without proffer of the cane.

    If swords are used, the parties engage until one is well blooded, disabled, or disarmed; or until, after receiving a wound, and blood being drawn, the aggressor begs pardon.

    N.B. A disarm is considered the same as a disable. The disarmer may (strictly) break his adversary’s sword; but if it be the challenger who is disarmed, it is considered as ungenerous to do so.

    In the case the challenged be disarmed and refuses to ask pardon or atone, he must not be killed, as formerly; but the challenger may lay his own sword on the aggressor’s shoulder, then break the aggressor’s sword and say, “I spare your life!” The challenged can never revive the quarrel — the challenger may.

    Rule 6. If A gives B the lie, and B retorts by a blow (being the two greatest offenses), no reconciliation can take place till after two discharges each, or a severe hit; after which B may beg A’s pardon humbly for the blow and then A may explain simply for the lie; because a blow is never allowable, and the offense of the lie, therefore, merges in it. (See preceding rules.)

    N.B. Challenges for undivulged causes may be reconciled on the ground, after one shot. An explanation or the slightest hit should be sufficient in such cases, because no personal offense transpired.

    Rule 7. But no apology can be received, in any case, after the parties have actually taken ground, without exchange of fires.

    Rule 8. In the above case, no challenger is obliged to divulge his cause of challenge (if private) unless required by the challenged so to do before their meeting.

    Rule 9. All imputations of cheating at play, races, etc., to be considered equivalent to a blow; but may be reconciled after one shot, on admitting their falsehood and begging pardon publicly.

    Rule 10. Any insult to a lady under a gentleman’s care or protection to be considered as, by one degree, a greater offense than if given to the gentleman personally, and to be regulated accordingly.

    Rule 11. Offenses originating or accruing from the support of ladies’ reputations, to be considered as less unjustifiable than any others of the same class, and as admitting of slighter apologies by the aggressor: this to be determined by the circumstances of the case, but always favorable to the lady.

    Rule 12. In simple, unpremeditated recontres with the smallsword, or couteau de chasse, the rule is — first draw, first sheath, unless blood is drawn; then both sheath, and proceed to investigation.

    Rule 13. No dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case. The challenger ought not to have challenged without receiving offense; and the challenged ought, if he gave offense, to have made an apology before he came on the ground; therefore, children’s play must be dishonorable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited.

    Rule 14. Seconds to be of equal rank in society with the principals they attend, inasmuch as a second may either choose or chance to become a principal, and equality is indispensible.

    Rule 15. Challenges are never to be delivered at night, unless the party to be challenged intend leaving the place of offense before morning; for it is desirable to avoid all hot-headed proceedings.

    Rule 16. The challenged has the right to choose his own weapon, unless the challenger gives his honor he is no swordsman; after which, however, he can decline any second species of weapon proposed by the challenged.

    Rule 17. The challenged chooses his ground; the challenger chooses his distance; the seconds fix the time and terms of firing.

    Rule 18. The seconds load in presence of each other, unless they give their mutual honors they have charged smooth and single, which should be held sufficient.

    Rule 19. Firing may be regulated — first by signal; secondly, by word of command; or thirdly, at pleasure — as may be agreeable to the parties. In the latter case, the parties may fire at their reasonable leisure, but second presents and rests are strictly prohibited.

    Rule 20. In all cases a miss-fire is equivalent to a shot, and a snap or non-cock is to be considered as a miss-fire.

    Rule 21. Seconds are bound to attempt a reconciliation before the meeting takes place, or after sufficient firing or hits, as specified.

    Rule 22. Any wound sufficient to agitate the nerves and necessarily make the hand shake, must end the business for that day.

    Rule 23. If the cause of the meeting be of such a nature that no apology or explanation can or will be received, the challenged takes his ground, and calls on the challenger to proceed as he chooses; in such cases, firing at pleasure is the usual practice, but may be varied by agreement.

    Rule 24. In slight cases, the second hands his principal but one pistol; but in gross cases, two, holding another case ready charged in reserve.

    Rule 25. Where seconds disagree, and resolve to exchange shots themselves, it must be at the same time and at right angles with their principals, thus:

    If with swords, side by side, with five paces interval.

    N.B. All matters and doubts not herein mentioned will be explained and cleared up by application to the committee, who meet alternately at Clonmel and Galway, at the quarter sessions, for that purpose.

    Because there a rules each quarreling party must abide by this appears to be the ideal solution, particularly because both parties enter into the duel voluntarily.  Instead of getting the Shitposter’s employer involved, the Politician simply could demand an apology.  If…more likely when, the Shitposter refused, she could then defend her honor by challenging the Shitposter to a duel.  The American rules appear to have provisions in the event swords are chosen.  Because I can count on one hand the number of people I know that can handle a sword thanks to his medieval sword fighting hobby, I assume most people will choose pistols.

    Furthermore, there would necessarily have to be some kind of referee involved, if nothing else to file the forms with the local courts and probably the Sheriff’s office.  I suggest we keep this modest and not have duels wind up like this:

    ”Swords or pistols.”

    ”Kel-Tec KSG”

    ”…can you at least tell me where to find one?”

    Pistols would need to be kept simple as possible.  In the past, this was easy enough given the prevailing technology at the time meant sister smoothbore, flintlock pistols of various style and caliber.  Heavy triggers, slow ignition, limited practical accuracy, and at least one of duelists having the good sense to chicken out at the last second reduced the likelihood that somebody was going to die.  A modern Glock 17 might be suicidal.  A .22LR, single action revolver might be more prudent.  Why .22?  If I don’t want to get shot with a .22, I sure as hell don’t want to get shot with a .38…

    A referee to ensure adherence to the rules, and provide a witness in the event the duel turns into murder, means the quarrel ends fairly.  I assume only three or four people will necessarily have to die because they called somebody a Nazi over disagreement on an excise tax on soda.  Once this happens, people might choose their words just a little more carefully, or at the very least not attempt to endanger their livelihood because they criticized a politicians actions.  Somebody criticizing your actions comes with the territory of being a politician, and your opinions being expressed on a public forum are subject to interpretation and criticism by the public.  Grow up.

    As for the beer.  This is sweet.  In fact I will go so far as to say it is probably too sweet for Sugarfree.  It is essentially a nut brown ale with a touch of maple, which results in the beer tasting an awful lot like pecan pie, which I happen to like. Highwater Brewing Sugaree Maple Pecan Pie: 2.4/5

     

  • PM links — Memorial Day Special

    Good afternoon.

    You’re probably not here.  You’re probably doing what I am doing at the moment, which is outside in unseasonably cool weather, stuffing my face with pulled pork sandwiches and some drumsticks I sous vide for the last four hours and seared violently on the grill.  So if you are really here, here’s a couple items of interest.

    For those still looking to improve their BBQ game with tips from this guy.

    For those that needed something to confirm their biases towards costly, and awful decision making by the defense industrial complex…this link is for you.

    For all you drunkards…here’s one for you.

    For the seasteaders…somebody for you to hate.

    For everyone that hates Elon Musk….

    For those of you that aren’t going to click and go straight to discussion,  here’s a topic nobody agrees on:  how to grill a frozen hamburger patty.

     

  • Let’s defend a Nazi

    I seem to struck a nerve with my intransigence over Game of Thrones.  So I guess I might as well pick on another item of social significance.

    This is my review of Four Peaks Xerocole IPA

    Okay I am kidding.  Seinfeld isn’t a terrible show, but I do agree with the opinion the humor and plotlines of many episodes can be a bit dated from time to time.  There are however, certain episodes that will stand up as well as any.  One such example is Season 7, Episode 6:  The Soup Nazi.

    Seriously, this episode is way better than the episode of M*A*S*H* where the Korean lady suffocates a chicken.

    I will cover the main points for context but if you want to check out the entire script here’s a link, or I am sure you can look around the internet and find the episode somewhere.  It begins where the sociopaths Jerry, Elaine, and George are discussing which movie theater they would like to visit when Jerry suggests one in particular because it is near a place that sells soup. In spite of Elaine’s preference for a burger at that time, Jerry continues to rave about the place but there is one caveat:

    ELAINE: Boy, I’m in the mood for a cheeseburger.

    JERRY: No. We gotta go to the soup place.

    ELAINE: What soup place?

    GEORGE: Oh, there’s a soup stand, Kramer’s been going there.

    JERRY: He’s always raving. I finally got a chance to go there the other day, and I tell you this, you will be stunned.

    ELAINE: Stunned by soup?

    JERRY: You can’t eat this soup standing up, your knees buckle.

    ELAINE: Huh. All right. Come on.

    JERRY: There’s only one caveat — the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.

    The ordering procedure; here is where I defend the Soup Nazi.  There are a number of places in nearly any city that has a particular procedure one must follow to order.  The pizza joint I frequently patronize doesn’t take names for phone orders, they give you an order number and expect you to give it to them when you pick it up.  Many even developed a jargon to ordering.  Some of these places might be stricter than others when asking to adhere to such places but I will give a few examples, feel free to point out others.

    • In-N-Out Burger.  They only have a few items on their menu, but they actually have a “sort of Secret Menu” on their website, that should you go up to any In-N-Out and ask for an item off this menu, they will be more than happy to make it.  Then there is this.  I am not endorsing In-N-Out.  I personally don’t think it’s that great, and honestly no fast food burger really is.
    • Geno’s (Philadelphia).  There’s a lingo to ordering a cheesesteak.  Should you find yourself there and don’t want to look like moron and subject yourself to Philly’s signature hospitality, they explain how on their website.
    • Starbucks.  There really isn’t anything unusual about ordering here, but I think this is more of a principled stand against something that often manifests itself at a Starbucks.  If there is a line with 20 people in it, know what the hell you are ordering BEFORE you arrive at the counter.  It’s just coffee, there’s nothing abnormal about it, and if what you want is one of their coffee cocktail…things, the menu has a decent enough explanation of what’s in it to know by the time you get to the counter.  It’s a common courtesy that I hope doesn’t have to be mentioned here.

    It is in this spirit the Soup Nazi had his ordering procedure.  For further background, this episode is actually based on a real place, and the Soup Nazi is a real person, who recently filed for bankruptcy.  As you might be able to see from the photo from the featured image, it isn’t a large venue.  The ordering procedure the Soup Nazi requested is primarily meant to keep the line moving.  As Jerry explains:

    JERRY: All right. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right. […] The main thing is to keep the line moving.

    GEORGE: All right. So, you hold out your money, speak your soup in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive.

    JERRY: Right. It’s very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.

    That’s it.  That’s his requirements.  The instances where the Soup Nazi throws the main characters out of the shop is where they interrupt the flow of the line.  George gets his soup taken away over his complaint he didn’t get any bread.  Before it is pointed out this is a legitimate complaint–it is, however he did get his money back and the next time they gave him bread with his order.  Elaine was tossed out because she took forever to order, and tried to make small talk with the Soup Nazi (“Did anyone ever tell you, you look like Al Pacino…WHOOAH”).  Later she went in to thank him for a piece of furniture, which angered him because he didn’t think Kramer was going to give it to somebody so eagerly willing to aggravate him and interrupt the line of customers…again.  Another was kicked out because he tried to be cute and order partially in Spanish; the Soup Nazi might have just been a dick there.

    Supposedly the actual owner of the Soupman was offended by the entire episode, and upon recognizing them, threw out Jerry Seinfeld and the rest of the cast when they visited.  He…also tried in vain to not pay federal taxes, hence filing Chapter 13.

    Does this really sound like somebody we should hate?  I contend he is not.  This is nothing more than an entrepreneur that has a extremely desirable product, but limited capacity for space to deliver his product.  His simple demands to keep the line moving are met with such contempt, Elaine’s only recourse is to publish his secret recopies and ruin his business.

    Now the beer in question is a local beer, and one I plan to sent to my BIF recipient, regardless of his distaste for IPA…. it was released earlier this month and went straight to tall can territory.  It does have a dry, biting IPA flavor we all love to hate, but it is also reasonably light and refreshing.  Before it is pointed out this is a contradiction–it is, however even I have purchased this on more than one occasion so it isn’t too bad.  Four Peaks Xerocole IPA: 3.0/5

  • Enlaces Domingo con desayuno

    …so if you wish to call me out and complain about my links being too Mexican, not Mexican enough, or whatever other pejorative you want to lob my way—don’t bother.  I’m at the gym.

    I am up earlier than normal to accommodate so if for some reason you find me saltier than normal.  Don’t blame me, put the blame where it belongs.

    This seems fitting for Sunday morning.  National Review defends…coffee?  This is either Poe’s Law or they just forgot the part where they are supposed to leave out their MO for their “You know what really grinds my gears?” audience.  Its called “Cold Brew Coffee.”  Its not redefining “coffee” if you add a modifier.  Society is not redefining a word to suit the agenda of Big Coffee, Starbucks, or caffeinated hipsters taking 30 minutes to adjust their purple sash, refit their vintage, ironic Johnny Rotten studded belt to their skinny jeans while a line 6 guys deep is behind them in the men’s room.  Next they’re going to write an article bitching about pop being soda, soda being Coke, even if its Pepsi.  I’m just sitting here thinking there’s a label on the goddamn can.  Call it that.

    Also, for your edification (Yes, thats a fucking word) “The story of the Toddy® Cold Brew System begins in 1964 when Todd Simpson, after graduating as a chemical engineering student at Cornell, tasted a cup of coffee created with a liquid concentrate made by an ancient Peruvian process.”  Starbucks was founded 31 March 1971.

    This is some weird shit... which one of you did it?

    On the floor in front of them in a pool of blood was 30-year-old Farina Caspari, suspected of honoring Weiss’s dominator command to first kill him and Enders and then take her own life, which she clearly did, according to investigators.

    Weiss and Enders left wills at their sides, presumably to ensure that the motives were clear. “Investigators suspect they were all members of a kind of sex circle with a focus on the Middle Ages,” according to RTL news quoting local investigators on the scene. “[Weiss] may have been the guru of the group.”

    Gay dude running for president turns down another gay dude pining for an interview.  I like Rubin, but I’m pretty sure Butt-kowski turned him down because Fox News has a much bigger audience.  I’m just saying.

    A third of the migrants at the border claiming asylum with the children they brought with them are NOT their children.  Something they confirmed via DNA testing.  Anybody working around government types might point out this is the Hawthorne Effect in action.  This is body of behavioral research that suggests people will react a certain way to confirm the bias of the observer.  This came about when researchers confirmed workers are more productive when their supervisor is watching (No…Shit).  To break it down:  when you make it known that there is only so much room for families at the detention center, and you’ll be released with instructions to be appear in court for your asylum claim…don’t be surprised when people show up with kids, claim asylum, and fail to appear in court—even if they are not their goddamn kids.

    Deontay Wilder knocks out Dominic Breazeale in the first round to defend his heavyweight title; this is brutal.  If the name “Deontay” drives you up the wall like the word “cold brew coffee” or you’re too much of a choir boy to watch to watch a guy getting knocked the fuck out…don’t click the video at this link.

    Have some old guy music.

  • Its finally over.

    TW:  Spoilers…sort of.

    Today is Saturday.  This means I have about 30 hours until the only adult activity in my house will involve dropping everything, turning off all the lights and….watching Game of Thrones.   I don’t hate it, but I don’t get it either.  I first came across GoT while I was living in Colorado.  I was visiting my parents who were into the show from the beginning of Season 1.  I noted the terrible effects, poorly choreographed fight scenes and the fact that Boromir finally found a universe that won’t kill him.

    This is my review of Trader Joe’s Providential Golden Belgian Ale (made by Unibroe)

    Too bad for Boromir though, he just can’t catch a break.

    I’ll show you what I can REALLY do with a bottle of Wesson Oil.

    Unfortunately, others including my wife tried getting me to read the books.  I stopped sometime around the albino wolf.  I didn’t get around to watching it until midway through this last season.  So my analysis of this show starts around the time K.I.T.T., flaming-sword guy, hilarious asshole, and freaky-eyed ginger dude, all go on the other side of Trump’s wall to capture a zombie-Mexican.  I couldn’t understand what the deal was.  They needed to capture a Mexican to convince the fake blonde, and/or evil Carol Brady they need to help the Scots defeat Mr. Freeze and his army of zombie-Mexicans?

    What was the point if the wall was made out of ice, and Northern Scotland was going to continue to be in nuclear winter for the next ten years, couldn’t they just fortify Trump’s wall with MORE ICE?  There doesn’t seem to be a shortage of SNOW and ICE in Northern Scotland–make the ICE wall stronger or something by adding more ICE.

    In the next scene we see Wee-Man giving the fake blonde excellent advice for any government figure, that sometimes the best choice is to do nothing.  Nope. We gotta do SOMETHING, so we’re saving K.I.T.T., flaming-sword guy, hilarious asshole, and freaky-eyed ginger dude.  To the Dragons!  Where they pull two classic TV mistakes of provoking the marauding horde, and staying in the LZ way longer than necessary and paid dearly for it.  Don’t they do CSAR in Northern Scotland?  Provide cover fire, land, mount up, and get the hell out of dodge.  Now they have to deal with Mr. Freeze slaying and resurrecting–a zombie dragon.

    I bet they wish they just fortified Trump’s wall now.  Nothing is stopping the zombie-Mexicans from overrunning Trump’s wall, and evil Carol Brady is just going to let them get run over.

    Now that the fearless crew have returned to the Scotland with their zombie-Mexican safely in a crate, we find out through the magic of dramatic irony that while K.I.T.T. is doing it with fake blonde–she is his aunt.  Seriously?  Is it really any wonder why incest-porn is a thing now?  Whatever, they’re royalty.

    The next season begins with Northern Scotland being ground zero for the zombie-Mexican invasion.  Northern Scotland is greeted by an enormous army of black Spartans and Turkish Mongols.  How do they deal with the logistics of three armies being in one place in the dead of winter?  Who cares, these are zombie-Mexicans due to arrive at any minute.  We also find out that fake blonde does not play well with either of K.I.T.T.’s sisters: slender ginger and wide-eyes. Its cool though, because we are further reinforced that K.I.T.T. and fake blonde are related when he mounts a dragon, and doesn’t die.  Other plot lines involving awkward moments between other characters also occur, thankfully not between siblings.

    The battle for Helm’s Deep!  I think.  I couldn’t see anything because they decided to shoot the entire episode through a camera lens coated with Wesson Oil and shot it at night.  K.I.T.T., crazy-eyed ginger dude, flaming sword guy, hilarious asshole, the Storm Trooper captain from the new Star Wars, Goldfinger (evil Carol Brady’s brother), Wee-Man–screw it.  Nobody of consequence to the story dies at Helm’s Deep, and all manage to fight off a zombie dragon, zombie-Mexicans, plus …zombie-Scots, zombie-black Spartans, and zombie Turkish-Mongols. That is, except for Mr. Freeze.  Apparently wide-eyes is some kind of super assassin who stabs him under the ribs with a dagger made by magic Romans, thus killing all the zombie Mexicans, Scots, black Spartans, Turkish-Mongols, and dragons.

    It is here we get to a point in the storyline that seems to have surprised “people” on the “internet.”  This entire time they all thought fake blonde was somebody worthy of admiration.  Even Elizabeth Warren got it wrong, granted that is par for the course for her.  They want a do-over.  I for one saw that fake blonde has been an evil, impulsive, power-hungry tyrant the entire time–they all just thought she was the candidate most likely to be a “good” leader.  —Spoiler Alert— Everyone vying for the throne is either evil or stupid.

    Everyone all seemed to miss this.  It was foreshadowed by parts like where she required everybody to bow down to her for her help.  How she didn’t purchase her army of black-Spartans, she just ordered her then toddler dragons to murder the guy selling her the army.  In fact, she pretty much burned all of her enemies to a crisp for the transgression of being against her; such as slave owners, other monarchs, the cue ball that was the only character that figured this out on his own, her brother, etc.  She told slender ginger the only goal she ever really had was to win back the throne, which she believed the entire time was rightfully hers–sort of like evil Carol Brady.

    Upon finding out she had relations with her nephew, instead of feeling slightly disgusted or acting in a manner to what any reasonable person would do (dousing themselves in Holy Water, for example) her first thought is that means K.I.T.T. technically has a claim to the throne more legitimate than hers.  Then she takes her dragons, one fresh off a fight with a zombie dragon, where he is clearly injured, and decided to attack a flotilla commanded by Captain Jack.  Predictably, Captain Jack brought that dragon down to the railroad track.

    So is the plot of last week’s episode really that surprising?  Not really.  Here’s a spoiler friendly version.

    For everyone else, they now see she is an evil, impulsive, power-hungry tyrant that will stop at nothing to achieve her objectives.  It doesn’t matter there are other people with claims to the throne that also made sacrifices towards that end.  It doesn’t matter an army surrendered and then were burned for their trouble along with an absurdly large medieval city.  It certainly doesn’t matter the throne she sought, was destroyed because she literally decided to burn the castle it was placed.

    …but this is definitely a person worthy of Elizabeth Warren’s admiration.  I’ll give you that.  Which reminds me, remember when Hillary compared herself to evil Carol Brady?

    Pepperidge Farms remembers.

    Is this beer any good?  Yes, it’s Unibroe and they make good stuff.  Since it is marketed under the Trader Joe’s brand it is a very reasonable $6.99.  It has excellent body, mild citrus notes, and overall is simply lovely.  I will go so far as to say it is better than this show, and the best part is that I can still buy it on Monday when I will be inundated with people in my office yammering on about GoT.  Trader Joe’s Providential Golden Belgian Ale:  3.9/5.

  • Secret Squirrel

    I recently took a short road trip to California…sorry, I didn’t try to light it on fire or anything.  I was there for a wedding.  Fortunately for me I managed to squirrel away an hour or so to meet up with another Glib to administer each other a Turing Test.

    This is my review of Smog City Saber-Tooth Squirrel Amber Ale (H/T:  Jesse.in.mb)

    With such a freakish label, this was a interesting gift considering the typical Glib’s fear of squirrels.  Fear not!  This gets better.  I actually misread it at first thinking it said “Secret Squirrel.”

    “Secret Squirrel” is a slang term.  It is one of those phrases that comes up from time to time that brings a small chuckle, because seriously how we make up words and phrases like this and give it random meaning?

    Slang has a bad rep; gets a bad rap. Negative value judgments: “sub-standard,” “low,” “vulgar,” “unauthorized”. The word we are seeking is street. Street as noun, more recently street as adjective. The vulgar tongue. The gutter language. It’s a truly man-made language. Women are objects, never subjects. Maybe it’s not just the street but that corner where the guys hang.

    Slang has a story, and that story has universal themes. Slang’s thematic range is not wide, though its synonymy runs very deep, and one can see the same ideas recurring from classical Greek and Latin onwards. Even if the individual terms that make up the vocabulary may be dismissed as “ephemeral” — and more stay than disappear — the persistence of these themes ensures that slang lasts.

    That totally doesn’t answer my question, and since it’s Huffpo I don’t blame you for skipping that link altogether.  Now my English teacher informed me this type of speech came about in small communities, often as technical jargon.  While this is true to a point, slang terms as part of language was developed in the 16th century among gamblers, in saloons, and among people that were otherwise deemed criminal. This led to the discouragement of such terms among academics and the elite, because of its association with societal miscreants.

    “Secret Squirrel” of course, means something that should be kept secret, like basic mission plans, troop movements, flight schedules, and the like.  I like to think the origin is from Ill Will Press, where the character Foamy the Squirrel partakes in missions to spread his squirrely rage among things he hates the most…like Starbucks.  Foamy is hilarious.

    Nope, its origin actually dates to the first Gulf War:

    Secrecy was vital for several reasons. The Air Force wanted the CALCMs to be a complete surprise if they were ever employed. Also, externally, the AGM-86Cs were almost indistinguishable from their nuclear counterparts and might, if revealed, derail or at least complicate pending arms control agreements with the USSR. Lastly, only a few GPS satellites were in operation in the late 1980s and an enemy, knowing when the satellites would be in position, might also know when to expect the missiles and thus when to prepare for them.

    Flight testing began in August 1987, and a year later the CALCM was declared operational. More than three dozen were put into storage igloos at Barksdale, where they waited for three years.

    When Iraqi forces rolled into Kuwait on August 2, 1990, US forces in the region were few and certainly not up to the task of repelling an invasion of Saudi Arabia.

    The CALCMs were unsheathed. “We stood them up on alert because we were trying to give the national command authorities some options,” recalled Lt. Gen. Buster C. Glosson, one of the Persian Gulf air war’s chief architects and targeters.

    Air Force leaders advised the National Security Council that CALCMs were available to send against Iraq’s command, control, and communications nodes, its electrical grid, and other high-value targets, all within a day’s flying time.

    “We wanted to give them a capability, even though admittedly it was limited,” General Glosson said, “because at that point in time there weren’t that many other options available for any action the President might have wanted to take.”

    Because of the limited number of CALCMs, and the inability to follow through immediately with a wider air campaign, the weapon chiefly offered a chance to make “a political statement” rather than deal a crippling blow, General Glosson said.

    Lt. Col. Jay Beard, commander of the 596th Bomb Squadron, was ordered to get ready. Access to the CALCM had been kept “to an absolute minimum,” Colonel Beard said. Only one crew–which had flight-tested the weapon–was available to operate it. More would be needed to carry out the kind of strike Strategic Air Command had offered the White House.

    In just a few weeks, fifteen crews were introduced to the “Secret Squirrel,” a moniker picked because “we couldn’t say the real code name [“Senior Surprise”] out loud, and it had the same initials,” noted Maj. Steve Hess, chief weapon system officer for the unit.

    TL/DR version:  In the late 80’s the Air Force shoved a cruise missile into a B-52, and decided to drop them on strategic targets in the opening days of the war.  Knowledge of the project was kept to a minimum number of people.

    The sad part is as I looked into this, I found blurbs of an old cartoon by Hannah-Barberra.

    Is this beer any good?  Of course it is, but not just because it was a gift.  It is an amber ale.  It had been a while since I had an amber since it is somewhat out of season in Arizona and I simply was not interested in picking up Fat Tire.  This one is overall balanced to the hoppy end of the spectrum, but not overpowering.  If it is available in the area, I highly recommend it.  Smog City Saber-Tooth Squirrel Amber Ale:  4/5