Author: sloopyinca

O Henry was born on this day, if you’re into boring writing.  (Aside: the Oh Henry is a pretty decent candy bar, even if its not all that prevalent.). So were: (better) writer D.H. Lawrence, football coaching legend Paul “Bear” Bryant, Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos, football coaching almost-legend Tom Landry, filmmaker Brian DePalma, drummer Mickey Hart, actress Virginia Madsen, Syrian strongman Bashar al-Assad, crooner Harry Connick Jr, and rapper Ludacris.

The Astros got poleaxed last night. I guess they were gonna eventually work their way back to the mean, but shit.  The Yankees lost as well, to the Tigers, so no harm there. The Dodgers won and clinched their division. Other winners were: the Phillies, Blue Jays, Mets, Brewers, Twinks, Rays, White Sox, Rockies, Giants, Padres, Indians, and Mariners.

France pounded Andorra, England played like ass but beat Kosovo, and Iceland got drilled, among other results in Euro 2020 qualifying.  Not much else happened in the sporting world yesterday. I mean, its a Tuesday. What did you expect?

OK, now we get to find out what’s happening in the world as we get to…the links!

The NRA are suing San Francisco after the city’s government branded it a domestic terrorist organization.  If they win, San Francisco government can blame them for taking the money out of the budget for cleaning junkie needles and human shit off the streets.  Hell, they can probably do it anyway and get away with it. Its not like the people there ever hold them accountable for, you know, failing to clean the literal piles of human shit that are everywhere.

The GOP swept a pair of special elections for congressional seats in North Carolina. One of them was not ever considered to be in danger, but the other was. And it appears that they won it by a larger margin than the last time, an election brought with accusations of ballot harvesting by the Republicans.

Obama was a hell of a salesman for the gun industry. It looks like the current crop of Dem candidates are trying to outdo him. I sure wish people would calm down and stop all this panic-buying. Its driving the prices up, and I want to go buy a new gun, dammit!

Damn, dude, take it easy with that shit. Sorry, this just seems barbaric and backward.  Next thing, you’re gonna tell me these people treat women like second-class citiz….oh, never mind.

An Arizona state trooper has been arrested. And immediately fired. And the state police are trying to find more victims of his.  Hey, Chicago (and may other places): take some notes, huh? This is what’s supposed to happen to a bad cop.

The WH is floating plans to get the homeless in California off the streets. I mean, since the state has utterly failed to do so, I’m not surprised the feds are looking into doing something (since that’s what busybody governments do). But I’m not so sure the optics are gonna be right when the media start saying “Trump to throw homeless in government camps”. Better to just let the state government sleep in the mess they made. And by mess, I mean the piles of junkie needles and human shit.

It seems as if the British establishment is going to do everything it can to undermine democracy. Now the court is saying Parliament can’t be suspended, even though all of the proper steps have been taken.  Oh well, they’re disarmed and certain types of speech are already illegal. Its not as if the people can do much about it anymore.

Here you go. Enjoy it.

Say a prayer for those lost on 9/11 so many years ago. And pray it never happens again. Then go have a great day, friends

What a hell of a comeback by the Texans.  Too bad it happened too fast.  also, if a guy catches a pass with two seconds on the clock and you’re the defender, just don’t touch him for a few seconds and let the game clock expire…then down him.  The Raiders also won after their week(s) filled with drama.  And that Davis son sure is a goofy-looking dude.  I mean goofy as shit.

In other football news, it looks like Texas didn’t have A/C in the visitors locker room for LSU and didn’t bother telling them about it. Fortunately the Tigers were tipped off by La Tech and brought some coolers in. But that’s bush league when its in the 90s.

The Braves, Mets, Yankees (put a fork in Boston, its over), Brewers, Pirates, Indians (hanging in there!), Cubs and Houston Astros all won last night.  The Astros scored 15 runs, bringing their total from the last two games to 36.  One of those runs came from this. I bet the last thing that guy was thinking when he got that ticket was “I might catch a homer”.

Top-ten (maybe five) golfer and certainly top-five coolest guy of all-time Arnold Palmer was born on this day. As was slugger Roger Maris, fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld, terrible co-worker Bill O’Reilly, rockers Joe Perry, Johnny Fingers and Siohban Fahey, actor Colin Firth, director Guy Ritchie, rapper Big Daddy Kane, and Canadian baseball player Joey Votto.

Hey-ho! Let’s go. To…the links!

Alaska rarely makes the news. But since its a chance to point out that this always looked like a dysfunctional family gets them back in today.

America’s first credit union for the gays and trans people clears a major hurdle. I’m glad the government recognized people have the right to associate with who they want to associate with. Even if it excludes others.  That’s what freedom of association is.  I wish them well.  I also wish well other groups that wish to choose who they associate with. (No snark)

If you’re dumb enough to buy one of these devices after reading this, you get what you deserve. Seriously, why not just go live in a clear box in Times Square? Or downtown Los Angeles or San Francisco, were you’ll be able to blend in and as an added bonus, shit in the street without anyone noticing?

California passes the strictest vaccine bill in the country. This is certainly a point of debate among libertarians.  Share your thoughts below.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Just wait a day, ffs.

Now that we have this out of the way, we can start asking the question “what the fucking fuck happened” to the dudes who loaded the ship.

Here u go.

Now go have a great day, friends.

The late game was so disgusting I didn’t make it to halftime.  And AB isn’t even in Boston yet.  The Chiefs looked very good. The Browns completely let their fans down one more time. The Lions…well, that was hilarious. (Kudos to the Cards). The Ravens were dominant. So were the Vikings. The Bills staged a gutty comeback. The Iggles were too much for the Redskins (but Terry Mclaurin has got some wheels!). The Rams were good enough. So were the Chargers, Seahawks, Cowboys and Niners.

On the college slate, LSU topped Texas, Clemson was too much for aTm, Ohio State blanked Cincinnati and TTUN managed to escape when Army made two bad decisions.  Nebraska shit the bed. AND THE TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS ARE OFFICIALLY A DUMPSTER FIRE. Which makes me happier than it should.  Serena Williams did not win, thank God. Kudos to her for actually handling the loss with grace. Rafa Nadal did win and is just one Grand Slam victory behind Federer now all-time.  Oh and as a side note, the Astros scored as many or more runs as ten NFL teams did points yesterday. And two of those teams won!

Leo Tolstoy was born on this day.  so were: chicken-king Harland Sanders, commentator Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder, singer Otis Redding, former football player Joe Thiesmann, and actor Adam Sandler.

OK, now on to…the links!

I have a feeling that even this won’t hurt the lawsuit. I mean, they’ll just make up some phrase for it, wave it away as the patriarchy and the jury will figure he’s richer than her and should just pay anyhow.  At least that’s the trend line we’re on.

Congratulations, Los Angeles. Nice job. Leprosy and typhus.  What’s next, the LA River turning to blood and raining frogs?

Remember when the joke was that Chicago cops are above the law?  May as well add Chicago public school teachers to that list.

Uh, what did these people expect to happen? Pretty sure there is a clause in your banking agreement that addresses this. Next time, read the fine print before doing this.

And Vladimir Putin’s party took a beating in elections this weekend.

That’s it. Except for this.  And yes, I think the audio track being off adds to it.

Go have a great day, friends!

Did anybody watch that whole football game last night? I don’t mean the first half and then glaze over in boredom for the second, I mean actually make it through the whole thing?  Well I tried but failed.  That was boring as shit. Trubisky, you should have played during the preseason. You suck.  Aaron Rodgers was hardly much better.  And it was punctuated by having to hear Chris Collinsworth talk out of his ass the whole time.  Well anyway, the season is underway and the Packers won.

You know who else won? The Firstros did…after going down 7-0 in the second inning.  They scratched and clawed their way back in and won in the 13th after five hours.  Now that was fun to watch.  Your other winners were Cincy, Chicago (AL), Detroit, St Louis, Oakland, Miami, Texas, Chicago (NL), Minnesota, Tampa, and Atlanta.

And Serena will play Andreescu in the US Open Finals and probably pound her into the court. Or threaten to do the same to a linesman if she’s losing. Either way, somebody is getting pounded by that Hulk. Also on Saturday, we have a nice slate of college football. Unless you’re a Tennessee Volunteer. Then you’ve got to worry about losing the BYU after that colossally-bad Georgia State (2-10 in the Sun Belt last year) loss last week. Oh well, they can still be Champions At Life.

OK, birthdays today are: French badass Marquis de Lafayette, bootlegger Joseph Kennedy, country legend David Allen Coe, rock legend Roger Waters, actresses Swoozie Kurtz and Jane Curtin, businesswoman Carly Fiorina, comedians Michael Winslow and Jeff Foxworthy, Pippa Middleton and The Office actor Idris Elba.

OK, off we go into…the links!

Robert Mugabe, who I assume the left will liken a lot to Trump today, has finally shuffled off the mortal coil. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  Plus, he died a trillionaire! So you know he was good with money. Just goes to show what a socialist can do when he sets his mind to something.

Uh, maybe keep that thing on safety, huh? N0 people were hurt by the missile. No creatures from Tucson were either.

This is an interesting proposition. And one that would be awesome if there’s no tax money involved and no government oversight.

The ACLU continues its slide into the toilet.  They’ve never cared about the 2A. And they’ve all but abandoned the 1A lately.  I guess they figured they may as well strike the 4A off their list.  Won’t be long before they say “a soldier in every home!” What a sad decline.

A man is dead. The cops keep their jobs. And the taxpayers take it up the ass. It is a story as old as the Golden State itself.

Thanks for letting us know, I guess. Whoever the fuck you are.  Seriously, why do these attention-whores think anybody gives a shit that they’ve decided not to run for President as a third-party candidate?  Also, your coffee sucks.

I know I’ll play a birthday artist most days when possible. But I’m boycotting, divesting and sanctioning the one rocker from the list. So we’re gonna do this instead. Hope you enjoy.

Now, go have a great day. And enjoy the full slate of NFL this Sunday. Pace yourselves.

The US Open is winding down as the path for Serena is laid clear for her to tie Margaret Court’s record. On the Mens side, Nadal cruised into the semifinals. But none of that matters as we are officially entering the NFL season tonight. Meanwhile on the diamonds of America, your winners were: New York (both AL and NL), Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Boston, San Francisco, Kansas City, Arizona, Oakland, and Los Angeles (NL). And with most of the divisional races being locked up, we anxiously watch the chase for best record in each league, best record overall and the wild card races.

If you were born this day, congratulations.  You share it with Louis XIV (the Sun King), outlaw (and probably NRA Member according to Dems) Jesse James, baseball player Nap Lajoie, economist Paul Volcker, comedic genius Bob Newhart, baseball player Bill Mazeroski, actor and reverse mortgage pitchman William Devane, (the worst) James Bond actor George Lazenby, the lovely Raquel Welch, German director Werner Herzog, possibly the greatest showman in history Freddie Mercury, “Gung-Ho” and “Beetlejuice” star Michael Keaton, and moron Rose McGowan.

That’s a pretty fine list, actually. And don’t even try to fight me over a couple of the claims I made there. I’m right and you all know it. But I digress. And anyway, its time for…the links!

San Francisco goes completely insane and declares the National Rifle Association a domestic terrorist organization.  And they want to prohibit any supporters or members from getting government contracts in the shit-strewn city.  I guess not even the people tasked with picking up the millions of heroin needles or spraying the shit off the sidewalks will be safe if they’re a member.  LOL, just kidding. There’s nobody doing either of those. But seriously, this is an ugly and libelous statement and I’m sure it will cascade into further polarization and left-wing violence against those who just want to maintain the Second Amendment.

Dorian tore the ass out of a couple islands in The Bahamas but pretty much missed Florida entirely. But that won’t stop the media and local/state governments from scaring the shit out of people as it churns toward…shit, nobody really knows where. Well, they all know it’ll probably go back out to sea after coming within a short distance of the Carolinas. But that doesn’t get page clicks, does it?

So the Remainers were saying Boris was undermining democracy by not holding an election. Then when he called for snap elections ahead of the Oct 31 Brexit deadline, they voted the proposal down. They also managed to prevent a no-deal Brexit. Which basically means the EU has the UK’s balls in a vise and can do whatever they want by refusing to negotiate at all (which is what they’ve done all along) and the will of our Limey cousins will have been thwarted by the very people they wanted to disassociate from.  That’s pretty sad, yet unexpected from across the pond.

What could possibly go wrong? Seriously, this might be the least baked idea ever. I will eagerly await Trump denying the unsourced, uncorroborated piece and then a back and forth of retarded media pieces for a week or so until the next shiny object comes along.

Way to go Navy!!! You bunch of fat fucks.  I mean, you’re fatter than the Air Force.  The fucking Air Force is in better shape than you!!!!! Oh well, after the new PT tests are implemented next month, half the soldiers, airmen and semen out there will be on a program anyway.

Jesus, what an amateur. Everybody knows you put that in the checked luggage so its got more room to move around. A checked bag is way too small.

An idiot engages an intelligent person. Let’s roll the tape to see how this goes… Oh, it results in one person accusing the other of having a bunch of domestic abusers and violent criminals as friends.  And then that person gets white-knighted by a bunch of betas. So basically, the same shit that always happens when this simpleton decides to make a point on twitter.

OK, here we go.  Song 1.  Song 2. And one that gets too little love…Song 3.

Go enjoy that and have a great day, friends!

Hoo-boy. What a good way to start the college football season. Unless you’re a Tennessee fan. Or Missouri fan. Or South Carolina fan. Or Ole Miss fan. Just kidding. They’ll just have to cheer for the whole conference a little stronger this year. Which won’t be hard for them, since they’re used to doing that every year.  I do wonder, though: would Greg Schiano have been losing games to a Sun Belt team that went 2-10 last year? Congrats Vols, you get what you deserve.

The Buckeyes looked great for the first 8 minutes. Which is all that was needed. Oregon shit the bed against Auburn. Oklahoma isn’t missing a beat at QB. And Notre Dame will be playing tonight, the attention whores.

Congrats are in order to Justin Verlander, who threw his third career no-hitter yesterday. Dude was lights-out with 14 Ks and some untouchable action. And he got his usual run support of “hardly anything at all” with the Firstros finally putting a 2-spot on the board in the top of the ninth. The Yankees won to stay a game ahead in overall record. And everything else is about positioning now.

Joker’s shoulder injury caught up with him as he withdrew in the third set of his Round of 16 match. Serena is cruising now, so I’ll probably end up being half-right. Which sucks.  Liverpool go into the international break with maximum points. Man City aren’t far behind them. The NLD was pretty entertaining and also resulted in the best way possible for everybody else in the league. And that’s pretty much it.

No birthdays update today except for one: Keanu Reeves. Plenty of other people, but I’m getting behind schedule. Way behind schedule, and I need to catch up so I can post these on time.

Sorry about that.  But we all know you really came here for…the links!

While Dorian destroys the Bahamas, Floridians and those up the coast in Georgia and South Carolina cross their fingers. That thing is small, but my goodness I’ve never seen a storm like that.

Actress Debra Messing thinks blacklists are cool. Seriously, are these Hollywood “stars” so empty that they can’t even remember McCarthyism? Christ, what an asshole.

Shit in Hong Kong is about to go down. And I mean in a very, very bad way.

Well done San Francisco area cops. You stopped those dreaded kids and their crazy antics in parking lots.  Just kidding, your streets are covered in human waste and heroin needles. Get your fucking priorities straight, assholes.

And the dickhead who went all Grand Theft Auto rampage mode in west Texas has been identified. Meanwhile, Beto is dropping f-bombs trying to shame people into giving up their rights and everybody else on the left is trying to politically capitalize on the series of senseless killings. Meanwhile, more people were shot and killed in Chicago over the weekend and nobody gives a fuck because they want the faces of those killers on tv to be as white as possible.

Here’s some Labor Day-themed music for you. But not really. It is, however, a great song.

Now go enjoy your holiday. Or your workday. I’m gonna do a little bit of both.

Its Friday, and college football is almost here!!! Well, it actually started already but not really. Minnesoooooda almost rowed to boat into an iceberg but came back to avoid pulling a Michigan. Utah pounded BYU. Cincinnati beat UCLA. Arizona State, Clemson, aTm and a couple other teams won big.  A few more games tonight and then we will finally be to the first full football Saturday of the year.

The Astros lost to the Rays in a wild game that took over 4 hours and included Rays pitchers walking three Astros home. Other winners were Cleveland, Oakland, the Minnesoda Twins, Chicago (NL), Miami, Seattle, Pittsburgh, Arizona, and San Diego.

Smona Halep got bounced and Coco Gauff won a very fun match on the ladies side. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on the mens side of the draw and we get closer to some very compelling matches and week 2 of the US Open.

Spanish king Peter The Cruel, who I’ve never heard of before, was born on this day. As were: author Mary Shelley, “The Kingfish” Huey Long, annoying actress Shirley Booth, prolific actor Fred MacMurray, the greatest hitter of all time Ted Williams, boxing trainer extraordinaire Angelo Dundee, billionaire Warren G Buffett, cartoonist Robert Crumb, idiot Molly Ivins, once-funny Lewis Black, NFL player STEVE SMITH, largemouthed actress Cameron Diaz, and musician Aaron Barrett.

That’s a pretty decent list. But the show must go on, so here are…the links!

Any of you guys starting to get a little bit of a rack? Well, you’re in luck!

Looks like Hurricane Dorian is gonna be a monster. And a slow-moving one at that.  Stay safe Florida-Georgia Glibs.

James Comey commits a shitload of crimes. Avoids prosecution under new “separate but equal” justice system that seems to be applied to every public official of stature imaginable. Hell, the dude went so far as to demand apologies for everybody that said he was a crook.  Because fuck you, that’s why.

Looks like Illinios is fucking up pot legalization. But don’t worry. Elected officials are scrambling to ensure the right amount of graft is connected to its implementation.

Just in case you needed to get your fix of crazy shit, InfoWars is back on YouTube!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, it’s gone.

Far-right outlet Infowars made a short-lived return to YouTube Thursday after its banishment last year, briefly illustrating social media’s struggle to remove rule-breaking content while still maintaining a forum for free expression.

If you’re banning shit left and right, you’re not maintaining a forum for free expression. You’re within your right as a business owner, but let’s not pretend you’re a forum for free expression, ok?

You want a ridiculous fear-mongering headline? Well I’ve got just the headline for you then. No spoilers. You’ll have to look for yourself to see how absurd it is.

Man, I miss these guys. They were so freaking good. Anyway, enjoy!

Now go have a great day and even better weekend, friends!

I had so much hope yesterday when Serena dropped that first set. But the girl she was playing got nervous and kinda choked a bit. But watching a female serve and volley that much was kinda fun.  It also reminded me of this scene from possibly the greatest documentary of all time. I am hopeful that she won’t win the tournament now. Unfortunately, I am starting to feel the same about Joker. That shoulder doesn’t look good.

College football is so close I can feel it.  Until then, I’ll just have to watch my Firstros keep winning. They took their second in a row off the Rays and breathed a little life into Boston’s postseason hopes, who won to get back within 4 games of the second WC slot. Those chowderheads may sneak back into the race yet. Other winners were: Milwaukee, NY (AL), Philly, Washington, Atlanta, Chicago (NL), Cleveland, Cincinnati, Minnesooooooda, Kansas City, LA (NL), and Texas.

I love starting the birthday list off with a heavyweight like John Locke. It usually means there are a few other big names on the list today. Let’s see…we’ve got” actress Ingrid Bergman, actress Isabel Sanford, jazzman Charlie “Bird” Parker, actor Richard Attenborough, not-so-good fighter pilot John McCain, actor Elliott Gould, tv personality Robin Leach, cartoon character Speedy Gonzales, and pedophile-musician Michael Jackson. A few big names there.

Alrighty then, lets get on with…the links!

Hurricane Dorian ripped through the Virgin Islands and is headed to Florida. Its expected to be at least a Cat 3 storm. Stay safe over there, friends.

MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell is quickly walking back his essentially unsourced claim that “Russian oligarchs cosigned Trump loans”. But its all good. The narrative was set, eh comrade?

Jesus, look at these busybody pricks. IF YOU DON’T THINK THEY’RE SAFE, THEN DON’T RIDE ONE, ASSHOLE!  Also, somebody needs to claw back the CDC. Mission creep there has gotten out of control.

Oh, sweet Mother of God.  the TSA gets even more retarded. I have a question: what the fuck are the rape-scanners and X-ray machines for if you’re banning shit because it “looks too much like a bomb”? Wouldn’t the X-ray show that, you know, it isn’t one?

Ilhan Omar may be in deep shit.  But she’s said she doesn’t want to talk about it. And the media are largely letting her get away with it. Hopefully this results in a deeper examination of campaigns paying family members or other “close friends” ridiculous amounts of money. I think America would be pretty fucking shocked what someone can get paid to stuff envelopes if they’re related to the right person.

Europe anxious to stop Brexit as Germany and other members hurtle toward recession. You know, maybe if y’all hadn’t been such dicks, you’d have already had a trade agreement in place and there wouldn’t be cause for panic.  But no. Petty bureaucrats gonna petty bureaucrat.

That’s all I got.  Except for this, which is awesome. And all those guys are married to hot chicks, by the way.

Alright, go out there and have a great day friends!

If you’re gonna be a big-league umpire, you need to not be a thin-skinned little bitch.  At least that’s my assessment of what happened last night in Houston.  No big deal, at the Firstros boat-raced Tampa anyway.But damn, a guy complaining 50 feet away with his back to you is hardly grounds to run him to the clubhouse. Other winners yesterday were: Baltimore,Pittsburgh, Toronto, Chicago (NL), Cleveland, Cincinnati, Minnesooooooda, St Louis, Oakland, Boston, Arizona, California/Anaheim/Los Angeles (AL), Los Angeles (NL), and New York (AL). And we watch to see who will falter and surge in the last month of the season, with the only interesting races the two central divisions and wild card races.

There were a handful of upsets at the US Open yesterday in both the mens and women’s draws.  More to come as the week progresses and we get into the third round or so. Until then, there’s just too many matches going on at the same time to really pay attention.  Sorry, my attention span just isn’t capable of sifting through this many matches.  Maybe I’ll do better today as many of the big names are back on the court. But don’t count on it.

Let’s get on the birthdays, shall we?  If you were born on the 28th of August, you share it with the following people who made a name for themselves one way or another: philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, father of cinematography Louis Le Prince, cartoonist legend Jack Kirby, baseball player and manager Lou Piniella, rocker Hugh Cornwell, actor Luis Guzman, Chinese activist Ai Weiwei, singer Shania Twain, 90210 actor Jason Priestley, hockey star Pierre Turgeon, big sister Sheryl Sandberg, and Danish (and by extension Greenland’s for the time being) Prince Nikolai.

Well there you go.  Now on with…the links!

That escalated quickly. Well, not quickly, but it is certainly an escalation.  Such a shame many Brits hate democracy when it doesn’t go their way.

Ilhan Omar to be stoned to death for committing adultery.  Just kidding. She’s not still in her county of origin. But her political future may be facing that metaphorical prospect if the releases of campaign expenditures are accurate. whew, that’s a lot of travel she was funding. And a lot of very convenient round numbers.

Founder of substance abuse center appears to have been abusing some substances of his own. Alt headline: Christ, what a Masshole.

Jussie Smollett doubles-down in defense of his claims he was assaulted in Chicago.  I don’t know who’s representing him, but apparently he’s unaware of how broke Chicago is. Not to mention how full of shit his story has proved to be.

Bret Stephens is a big, fat pussy. And a bully. Fortunately, his bullying backfired spectacularly.

Deutsche Bank apparently has tax returns of Trump and family members. It will be interesting to see whether or not the court forces them to be handed over and whether it will withstand an appeal, seeing as a court cannot compel someone to hand over evidence without articulating a specific crime it is evidence of.

Something good is happening in Illinois. No seriously, that’s not snark.  Seriously.  I mean it. I know it sounds like an Onion headline, but its true, dammit!

Thank God this happened after the G-7 meetings. Oh wait, its normal and happens all the time. Carry on then.

Two songs again today. Just couldn’t resist. So here’s the first one. And the second, which probably would work better on Brexit Day, but that’s not how birthdays work.

Go have a great day, friends!

So much for Sharapova-Serena being much of a match. In fact, there weren’t many surprises at all, as the seeded players cruised along. The exception was Kerber going out on the ladies side. And Federer dropped a set! Expect more of the same today, although the number of big matches will be small compared to yesterday.

Elsewhere, the Yanks, Dodgers, D-backs, Athletics, Reds, Phillies, Cardinals and Rockies all won on an abbreviated slate of games. A lot of players are coming out in support of Andrew Luck. The Texans may not have enough players to field a team with all the injuries. College and pro football both inch closer. And that’s about it. I don’t know enough about Serie A to comment on the game yesterday. Most of the games in that league are fixed anyway, from what I’ve been led to believe. So I won’t even note Inter Milan winning 4-0.

Yesterday’s slate of birthdays was particularly weak. Let’s see what today has in store for us.  We’ve got serial killer Ed Gein, Warmonger and nanny-stater LBJ, the lovely Tuesday Weld, the equally lovely Barbara Bach, moviegoer Paul Reubens, political strategist and snappy dresser Roger Stone, MTV’s Downtown Julie Brown, rock god Alex Lifeson, and actor Aaron Paul who has a movie or something coming out soon.

Well that list was marginally better than yesterday’s.  But I’ve sure as shit seen better.  Anyway, there’s a big world full of big news. And we hit on the most important of them with…the links!

Hey Silicon Valley, how’s about y’all go fuck yourself? Seriously.  And when you’re done, stick your heads in a woodchipper.

In one of the most egregious cases ruling against personal responsibility, Johnson & Johnson has been ordered to pay $572M in opioid lawsuit. The state charged them under “public nuisance” laws and, get this, they said they misled doctors while promoting their meds.  Now let’s for a second forget that everybody for decades have known opiates are inherently addictive. How the hell do they say its the company’s fault when all the side effects discovered during the FDA approval process are included in all the company’s literature by law and that its the doctor’s responsibility to know what he’s prescribing.  So either:

1. the doctor’s didn’t read the literature about the drug before they prescribed it
2. the FDA didn’t do a good job of identifying and listing side effects during the trials
3. J&J committed fraud by omitting it from the information send to doctors

Now there’s no way in the world its #3, because they would have charged them with a slew of felonies and fraud instead of what they usually charge people with who don’t cut their grass often enough.  This is a fucked up verdict. I only hope the state SC reverses it. Although I’m not optimistic that the same justice system that stands to receive a huge windfall of cash by leaving the verdict to stand will reverse course.

::inhales:: ::exhales:: ::inhales:: ::exhales::

Ok, I’m calmed back down. Maybe this story about weed will mellow me out. Just kidding, I don’t take the pot. But that’s a pretty good piece that does a better job of recognizing reality than most reporting on…anything.

Of course, this is perhaps the least surprising news in the world. Maybe in the history of the world.

Just in case you stopped thinking New York City’s cops weren’t self-absorbed and self-serving cretins who care more about their “brothers” than justice, this’ll snap you out of that delusion. Not that I’m not happy about the numbers. I’m just not happy that whether they do their job or not is dependent on the city allowing them to operate above the law.

Soon you’ll be able to go into a KFC and say “it tastes like chicken”. Of course you could just order chicken and these damn militant vegans could stop telling us how horrible we are for eating meat while trying to make everything they eat taste like it. Whatever, Popeyes is taking over as KFC dies anyway. Not that either has chicken as good as Bojangles. Sadly I can’t get my Bojangles here.

Well those are the links. I’ve got to play more than one song today because they’re too short. Here’s the second one. And yes, there’s a birthday tie-in for both of them. Figure it out.

That’s all I got. Have a wonderful day, friends!