Merry New Year! I am happy to report that I am about to drink my way out of 2019. This, the links, will be my last act of sobriety. I hope everyone has plans for a safe and responsible, excepting fireworks usage, New Year. May 2020 be better than 2019 in every way possible.
Australia is having a bit of a fire. I imagine poisonous fauna of every variety fleeing before the flames and alternatively lying in wait for firefighters.
I was thinking about where I was 20 years ago on NYE (6th and Congress in Austin), and remembered that the girl I was dating at the time inexplicably loved this song. So, happy New Year.
¡Buenos días Gliberinos! Sloopy had to go on a short trip. Hopefully it is as lucrative as he made it sound yesterday. I’m sure Sloopy is fine.
“Buenas tardes Señor Sloopy. Yo tengo un trabajo para usted.” Don Brett preguntó.
“A job? I am all for jobs, what does the job entail?” Sloopy answered.
¡Es una buena idea!
“Necesito que vueles con mi piloto, Murdock. Presente este manifiesto al inspector cuando aterrice.” Don Brett respondió.
“Murdock? You sure that is a good idea?
“Por supuesto, estoy seguro, pues.”
“Oh, well…he looks a bit short bus IYKWIM.”
“Solo dale al inspector este manifiesto cuando aterrices. Si tiene preguntas para usted, entréguele este sobre.”
“Whoa now, slow downo my Espanyolo is not so bueno.”
“Este sobre tiene su compensación y la de Murdock. No es mi problema lo que haces después de aterrizar. Murdock volará de regreso a Tampastan una vez que se entregue el paquete.”
“Murdock is doing what now?”
“Está volando a Tampastan.”
“There’s a volcano in Tampa?”
“¡Sube al avion!”
___
“You know, you’re not nearly the nut they make you out to be. In fact you haven’t really said anything at all.” Sloopy said, trying to end the awkward silence.
Don Brett will be making even more off sales of cocaine.
Cuban entrepreneurs create a ride share app called, “Sube” with the expectation US tourists would download and use it. I’m not sure people are actually using it.
Haha, just kidding, its the usual mailed-in links, but I wanted everyone to feel excited about the last Monday of 2019. I have been experimenting with some new M$ technology at work, and was all “oh, this M language for Power BI is garbage language because it takes 8 zillion steps to write the same thing I can declare in a single SQL query.” Turns out you can just drop a native SQL query in there. So now I am Power BI expert!
I think none of us are surprised by this, but I want to ask a counterfactual: Could our economy even stand it if Trump tariffs weren’t slowing the growth from explosive to rocket-powered?
While the rest of the US is rapidly attaining 1920’s levels of wealth, growth, and opportunity, NYC is racing towards the late 70s. Time for an Escape from New York remake!
Well, let’s rock into 2020, start now, wake up by Thursday morning!
Well the year is all but over. And it isn’t ending well for Freddie Kitchens. And I’m not sure it will end with Jason Garrett as coach of the Cowboys. There will surely be more heads on the chopping blockout those two are the biggest names. The winners yesterday were: Miami (forcing New England into a Wild Card round game for the first time in a long time), NYJ, the Bungles, Packers, Chiefs, Bears, Falcons, Saints, Cowboys, Broncos, Rams, Eagles, Jags, Ravens, Titans and Niners.
A common sight on Merseyside
Now let’s talk about who the year ended well for: Jurgen Klopp. His team haven’t lost since January 3. And the EPL is on straight up lockdown, as they’re 13 points clear of second place with. game still in hand against team barely above the drop. Let’s hope they keep it up.
Roman emperor Titus was born on this day. As were author Rudyard Kipling, warming Japanese PM Hideki Tojo, musical legend Bo Diddley, pitcher Sandy Koufax, Monkees Davey Jones as well as Mike Nesmeth, Patti Smith, Jeff Lynne, powerlifter Kill Kazmaier, TV’s Matt Lauer, Canadian steroid user Ben Johnson, prostitute-to-madam Heidi Fleiss, golfer Eldrick Woods, basketball team-hopper LeBron James, and the lovely Eliza Dushku.
Duuuuuuushkuuuuuuu!
That went from music-heavy to sports-heavy and really ended up being a big day of birthdays. But now it’s time to get down and dirty with…the links!
Rep John Lewis has Stage IV pancreatic cancer. Of course he won’t leave congress so someone else can do the job. He want’s to go out like John McCain and take a victory lap around Washington so everybody can kiss his ass. Nevermind that he won’t be able to effectively represent his district.
We spent yesterday afternoon stocking up from the big Mexican grocery for our Football Sunday. Because nothing says football like posole, burritos, rellenos, and migas, amiright? And it’s a relaxing football day since the Ravens are playing for absolutely nothing. Maybe we’ll see some of that Trace McSorly magic!
Old Guy Music today is the title cut from one of my favorite albums of the ’70s and the record which convinced me that folk/bluegrass/country was damned interesting. Talk about a supergroup, this one had it all, Earl Scruggs, Maybelle Carter, Vassar Clements, Doc Watson, Roy Acuff, Merle Travis, Norman Blake…
So I’m across the street, kicking back and jawing with the neighbors when I look at my watch. “Holy crap, I’ve got 45 minutes to get the links done!” So you can be rest assured that tonight’s links will achieve the same lofty heights they have been known for in my mind.
Seriously, it’s time for the UN to become low rent housing.
Holy shit, it’s almost 2020. That means I’m really, really old so the best I can say is that at least I’m still regular (easy lob over the plate here!). And I have the prostate of an 18 year old (soft pitch down the middle, people!). And SP and I will spend New Year’s Eve upholding our traditions (c’mon, this is a BP fastball). And among those traditions are the links I post before and after. The after ones tend to be a bit murkier, admittedly, so let’s enjoy coherence while it’s still present.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS…TO THE ASSEMBLED STAFF. ZED, WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO BRING BAGELS AND COFFEE?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS UNCERTAIN COGITATIONS RUNNING AROUND HIS CIRCUITRY. YEAR END REVIEWS HAVE BEEN HELD. ZARDOZ GETS THE FEELING A PAPER TRAIL IS BEING CREATED AGAINST HIM! THE QUESTIONING FROM THE GLIBERTARIAN POWERS THAT BE WAS MOST INTENSE. “WE SPENT $285,000 ON GREEN BREAD?!” “CAN’T YOU JUST USE THE IN-HOUSE HR PEOPLE TO RECRUIT BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS?” THIS IS NOT THE WORST OF IT – ONE OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAS REPORTED TO ZARDOZ THAT INTERVIEWS ARE SURREPTITIOUSLY BEING HELD FOR AN UNNAMED POSITION.
THEREFOR, ZARDOZ SHALL PROVE HIS WORTH BY GIVING THE CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE LINK…AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT! OH, AND DO YOU WELL TO REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD!
Q: My neighborhood grocery store has recently begun featuring a guitar-playing singer during busier shopping times. His makeshift stage is just by the door, so one is in his field of vision upon entering and exiting the store, as well as while browsing the produce.
While the songs aren’t offensive, loud or bothersome in any way, I find the whole arrangement awkward and generally try to avoid eye contact. Am I being rude? How should one respond to a live entertainer when shopping for necessaries?
A: WEAKLING! IF THE MERE PRESENCE OF A MUSICAL BRUTAL WHILST SHOPPING PUTS YOU OFF THIS MUCH, HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALS, WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH?GRANTED, A GUITAR PLAYER IN THE PRODUCE SECTION MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS A PAN FLUTE PLAYER IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR’S ARMORY. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ WILL SOLVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS AT ONCE.
LET US SEE…WHINER, STORE MANAGER AND MUSICIAN. ALL PRESENT AND GATHERING GRAIN.
Welcome to Friday! I’ve been engaged in some desultory cleanup of both my office and my work — trying to get things ready for the new year. Hopefully, we can get out and do something family friendly this weekend. The kids are pretty much nuts after a week off. Next week we send them off to daycare again. My wife will be standing at the door, grinning wildly when we do, I’m sure.
Huh, its weird that we are friends with our neighbors. Note, having kids of a similar age is probably the number one way neighbors make friends. Although, picking up after a hurricane certainly helped.
Liverpool pounded Leicester and has the league by the throat. My prediction for Everton is on schedule. Chelsea sucked eggs. Spuds won without their fans getting all racist. And ManUre looked actually good for a change. There were other games, but nothing exciting. More games today. And tomorrow. And Sunday. With many teams playing on just two days rest, which is criminal.
This didn’t happen once…against Louisiana Tech?
The Miami Hurricanes have reached rock-bottom as a football school. They haven’t been the same since the Buckeyes wrecked their dominance in the 2002 National Championship game. Let’s hope the Buckeyes recapture that magic in the desert tomorrow night. I’m nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof about the game. Elsewhere, Pitt managed to recapture a bit of honor for the ACC by barely beating…a 6-6 Eastern Michigan team. Pitiful. Just pitiful. Also, no hockey for a second day in a row. You gotta get that fixed, NHL.
Astronomer Johannes Kepler was born on this day. So were milk ruiner Louis Pasteur (just kidding, kinda), Canadian steel magnate Cyrus Eaton, lovely actress Marlene Dietrich, actor John Amos, rocker Mick Jones, French actor and sexual deviant Gerard Depardieu, wrestler and (shouldn’t have been a ) playboy pictorial girl Chyna, and NFL flop Carson Palmer.
Chyna.
Look, I’m not one to give advice, but don’t go looking for that Chyna playboy pictorial. You’ll be racing off to an Arby’s, and they’re not open yet. Instead, stick around and comment in…the links!
So much for “stop, look, and listen”. Oh well, I’m sure its nothing a little extra training (at time and a half, obviously) can’t fix. Also, I’m glad the story lets us know the important person went home safely…and it’s no shock they refuse to give his name.
Well, that’s it for me. The next post by me will hopefully be crowing about the game Saturday night. But see my comment above. I’m cautiously optimistic…but nervous as hell. Of course I always am. But I digress. Have a good day, friends. And a great weekend!
…and now for the news.
