When I signed off last night, I was sure the wife had the stomach flu. Happily, it turned out to be a 24 hour stomach bug. A little cleanup on aisle six and I got her to sleep. All good today. I was NOT looking forward to several days of that.
Birthdays were had today. They were covered in OMWC’s morning link vomit.
Out of the bowels of the media, let’s do some links!
Stomach churning. I’ve always found it ironic that the annual flu shot is based on a guess. And many times wrong.
If there’s a way to screw up a good thing, California knows how to puke it up.
Plenty of rhetoric being spewed on both sides, but I think I come down on the side of the ranchers.
More verbal diarrhea from a failure of a politician.
Yes, my apologies, I’ve been scarce again- besides working insane hours without access to personal use of the internet, I had some surgery this week and am in recovery. I never knew that a penis reduction would be this complex, but there it is. Another few days in bandages and I’ll be ready to go, and at least I was less work for the surgeon because, you know, Jewish.
STEVE SMITH HAPPY. HIM HAVE GOOD CHRISTMASTIME. HIM FIND CAMPERS ACTING OUT “THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS”. THAT MEAN STEVE SMITH GET RAPE DRUMMERS, PIPERS, LORDS, MAIDS, BIRDS AND A TREE. HIM HAVE NO USE GOLDEN RINGS.THEN HIM LISTEN FAVORITE ALBUM:
HAVE A HOLLY RAPEY CHRISTMAS. IT BEST TIME OF YEAR!
NOW STEVE SMITH RELAX WITH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HIM GIVE LINKS. GOOD LINKS. AND ADVICE. FROM STEVE SMITH!
POLAND PEOPLE TELL EU “YOU BE QUIET. NO TELL US HOW RUN COUNTRY!” WHAT NEXT? PLEXIT?
STEVE SMITH THINK THIS BIT EXTREME. YOU JUST GIVE 1 STAR RATING.
NOW STEVE SMITH GIVE THE BEST ADVICE. BETTER THAN OLD HOOMAN.
Q: My kindergartner arrived home with a princess birthday party invite. We’re new in town, and she’s going to a small private school, so I thought this was a perfect chance to meet new parents.
My husband dropped us off at a very expensive home, where there were coolers full of beer, champagne and wine. It was a Sunday and not even noon. I don’t drink, generally, and definitely not with strangers, or around my 5-year-old, or on Sundays OR mornings — never mind a Sunday morning with my child and a bunch of strangers.
I was confused, for starters, but as I spent the next two hours wandering the party, literally EVERYONE was drinking beer and asking why I wasn’t. They didn’t even have cake or open the presents. I left at the designated party end time, right before the “beer chugging championship” began in the kitchen.
Is this normal for wealthy families? Not only am I scared to bring my daughter to another party, I’m concerned that when it’s her turn for a birthday party, we’ll be the “weird” ones who actually play kids’ games and serve cake. I’ve sacrificed to put her in a nice private school, and now fear I’ve doomed her to be the poor kid.
A: STEVE SMITH THINK YOU BIT UPTIGHT. HIM HAVE ANSWER FOR THAT. HIM LOOSEN YOU UP, WITH RAPE. THEN YOU WANT DRINK WITH NEIGHBORS! IF STEVE SMITH HAD PINECONE FOR EVERY TIME HIM HEAR “Oh God…how can I forget this horrible day!” HIM WOULD BE BANK OF CASCADIA. SO DRINK, LOSE FEAR. LOSE BAD MEMORY. BREAK CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OVER NEIGHBOR HEAD AND SMILE. BE TOAST OF NEIGHBORHOOD.
ALSO, GIVE CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION. YOU GOING RAISE HEADCASE.
Well, good news, bad news on the L homefront. Good news: I got by the fancy chocolatier in town, so the women in my life are going to have a Merry Christmas. Bad news: The oldest boy is currently blowing chunks and then angry/ugly crying. So it looks like we get (another) visit from the stomach bug this month. We were supposed to have a bunch of neighbors with little kids over tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure we’ll bag that. No use making enemies of them.
13 goals in one game? That must have been fun to watch.
I’ve been out of the loop for two days, to say the least. What can I say? Sometimes work just materializes out of nowhere and you gotta jump on it. This was most definitely one of those times. But I’m back today to resume my duties. And from the look of the sports news from yesterday, I didn’t miss much. Almost nothing happened of note except the following hockey results: Dallas, NYI, Philly, Columbus, Ottawa, Chicago, Carolina, Montreal, the MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIILD, and Vancouver were your winners. That’s. That’s all of sports.
“Look into my eyes”
Doctor Samuel Mudd (made famous by a Nic Cage movie) was born on this day. As were rubber tire magnate Harvey Firestone, baseball exec Branch Rickey, actress Irene Dunne, olympian and football player Bob Hayes, spoon-bender Uri Geller, TV “creator” Dick Wolf, cutting-edge music producer Alan Parsons, actor Jonah Hill, and soccer player Kylian Mbappe.
Jeez, the birthdays are as bad as the lack of sports stories. Let’s hope we find something better with…the links!
“Bye, EU. It’s been fun, now jog on.”
Man, when Boris says he wants to vote on Brexit before Christmas, apparently he means it. If only he’d had the foresight to mail out a turd in a box to put under every Remoaner’s tree.
Give a Chicago teacher a rope, he thinks he’s a cowboy hangman. If you’re surprised by this, you know little about Chicago Public Schools or their teachers union.
Damn, someone tried to shoot up FSB headquarters in Moscow. Good thing they were killed, because I wouldn’t want to be the target of a very hostile interrogation.
Due to a slight mishap involving heavy drinking, and choosing between watching a recording of the Survivor Finale or Impeachment Hysteria…I picked drinking.
Signed,
Sorry about that.
Links for today…well, who cares about anything else, really. Its pretty much what you will talk about anyways. Its all going according to plan.
If you did need something else to chat about I have this. Give me your best insult along the following parameters:
Cannot contain any of George Carlin’s forbidden words.
No racial, ethnic, or sexual epithets.
Thats it. No swearing, no calling somebody an Indio.
Example: You are the damp and dirty washcloth I toss in the hotel trashcan out of respect for the housekeeper’s humanity.
Holy crap. My kids, man. They won’t freaking sleep. It looks like I’m gonna have to pull out the big guns and tell the Krampus story. Only, you know, modified so that Krampus only takes little children who GET OUT OF BED TOO EARLY LIKE YOU! I mean, fuckit, they can spend their own money on therapy or wait and use mine after I die, right?
Buenos dias Gliberinos, on yet another fine Wednesday morning! Let’s get right to the links shall we?
Here’s a fun travel warning: Dengue fever. Make sure you wear your DEET if you are traveling.
Venezuela predicted to be the worst humanitarian crisis for 2020–and apparently the most underfunded. Perhaps their leader’s shouldn’t have spent the last 20 years telling everyone how much they suck and cozying up to Cuba? I don’t know. Screw them, and let them figure out their way out of this hole.
I’m sure if the media actually covered him with some honesty and not as a caricature of a right wing ogre, I’d probably find a reason to hate him. As it turns out, the media only seems to cover Brazilian Trump as some kind caricature of right-wing ogre, so once again I am stuck saying something silly like, “I like this guy.”
Man, I am exhausted. I couldn’t fall asleep and then one kid or the other was up from 3:45am on. I barely know what is going on. My son has some sort of Holiday concert tonight, and I’m really not sure there’s enough coffee in the world to keep me awake while a bunch of kindergarteners flail away at holiday songs for an hour. Even the stern gazes of my mother and wife will probably not stay Morpheus’s hand.
Buenos dias Gliberinos, on yet another fine Wednesday morning! Let’s get right to the links shall we?