Category: IFLA

This week the skies are taking a break from all the doom and gloom to go off to a Signs and Portents convention.  As such there are no alignments.  Not a one.

The regular progression progresses regularly. Welcome Gemini!  And also to you Gemini. You two get the standard good luck package of the Sun in conjunction with Mercury.  Taurus is horning in on your deluxe trifecta by cowing Venus into submission, so you won’t get it this year.  On the flip side, it’s good romantic news for gay men and BBWs.  Mars in Cancer brings general crabbiness and belligerence, but that’s offset by the moon in Aquarius keeping things relaxing.  The retrograde Jovians keep doing their thing, but no worse than last week.  Recommended activity:   drinking at the beach and/or manatee watching, though you will encounter an asshole committing crimes (or at least violations of the civil code) while doing so.

While the skies may be easing off on the hostilities, the cards aren’t. I’m not seeing a clear event indicator, but plenty of reversed and skewed both to power cards and swords.  The only Major Arcana not reversed?  Judgment.  Oh and in case you’re wondering why there is a Judgment and a Justice, “Judgment” is a shortened version of “The Last Judgment.”

Gemini:  Page of Swords, reversed – a weaselly bastard working against you, being unprepared, sickness.

Cancer:  Judgment – Great change, renewal

Leo:  King of Swords – Command, authority, hard power

Virgo:  5 of Coins, reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, profligacy

Libra:  Ace of Swords, reversed – Pyrrhic victory, defeat, crazed ex

Scorpio:  Knight of Wands, reversed –  Rupture, division, interruption, discord

Sagittarius:  Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, wrath, enmity, destruction, ruin,war, resistance, opposition, defense

Capricorn:  The Fool, reversed – Negligence, apathy, carelessness, vanity

Aquarius:  9 of Swords, reversed – imprisonment, doubt, shame, reasonable fear

Pisces:  5 of Swords – Degradation, reversal, infamy, loss, dishonor, destruction

Aries:  Ace of Cups, reversed – False heart, mutation, instability, revolution

Taurus:  7 of Wands, reversed – Perplexity, embarrassment, anxiety

 

 

Between the ERT drills and teaching night classes, I have very little time to make sense of the Celestial Order.  Which is a shame, since there is probably something valuable to be found a few levels deeper than I am willing to go.  To wit:  this week Saturn (retrograde) is aligned with Mars, indicating the outbreak of hostilities.  Where?  Between who?  The answers are there, but I don’t have time to figure them out.  I think it’s unlikely to involve me, so I’m just going to head off to play fireman.

Good luck/good news for Taurus, as Mercury joins the Sun in its somewhat barnyard-smelling home.  Venus in Aries brings the stereotypical springtime ardor to the forefront.  The moon in Leo brings some instability, mood swings — but more on the oddly friendly than bitchy side of the spectrum (see the Moon in Aries, supra).

The cards say this week is going to start off strong.  Really strong.  Dominant.  Possibly too dominant as we see people opposing you later.  Also expect a piece of equipment to fail that will lessen your effectiveness.  Some of the advancement will be lost, but not all of it —  indications are for realized gains.

Taurus:  King of Swords – Hard power, authority, judgment, command, law

Gemini:  Ace of Wands – Creation, enterprise, invention, birth of a male child

Cancer:  The Devil, reversed – Weakness, pettiness, blindness, fatality

Leo:  The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, self-confidence, will, disaster, pain.

Virgo:  The Hierophant, reversed – Society, concord, over-kindness, weakness

Libra:  9 of Wands, reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

Scorpio:  5 of Cups – Loss but something remains, inheritance, transmission, frustration in marriage

Sagittarius:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, investment, quarrels, ingenuity

Capricorn:  Knight of Coins, reversed – inertia, idleness, stagnation, discouragement, carelessness

Aquarius:  The Empress, reversed – Light, truth, the unraveling of involved matters, vacillation

Pisces:  9 of Cups, reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfection

Aries:  The Chariot, reversed – Quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat

I’ll keep this brief so you can get back to your holiday drinking.

The new feature in the sky (and lasting until September) is Saturn going into retrograde motion.  This makes Saturn difficult to read confidently, as it now causes both beginnings and very, very bad endings.  It also take part in our first alignment:  Mars-Sol-Saturn (retrograde) = a war breaks out this week.  Sorry about that.  The second one is much better, we get the Earth aligning with the moon and the sun which signals general benevolence.  It’s not ideal, being the sort that leads to a new moon, but I’ll take it.  Indeed, this particular new moon shows higher than usual potential for auspicious beginnings, so if you were going to start a business or ask out that hottie, this is as good a time as can be reasonably expected.

Staying on the subject of Saturn (retrograde) it’s still loafing around in Capricorn.  Now Capricorn is the sign of wisdom, tempermentality, and fine leather goods.  For the past far too many weeks, Saturn has been inhibiting our thinking, making it more ponderous than it should be.  Now that it has gone retrograde, we should experience extremes of judgment, both flashes of insight and extremely stupid decisions.  Good luck telling the difference.  With the new moon in Taurus there is great potential — the new moon is the seed, a thing unrealized, the sign of beginning.  But the beginning of what exactly?  Unfortunately in this case, the facing sign is “the hidden threat.”  Find it, catch it, kill it.  Too bad about that whole Saturn retrograde in Capricorn when it comes to correctly identifying what the threat is.  Whether it’s spring or because Venus and Mercury are in the sign of the Goat, you will feel… inclinations this week.

Taurus:  5 of Swords – Degradation, destruction, infamy, reversal, dishonor, loss

Gemini:  10 of Coins – Gain, riches, archives, family home, extraction

Cancer:  2 of Wands, reversed – Surprise, wonder, emotion, fear

Leo:  The Chariot – Succor, providence, war, triumph, presumption, vengeance

Virgo:  5 of Cups, reversed – News, alliances, affinity, ancestry, false projects

Libra:  Ace of Swords, reversed – Triumph, excess in everything, extremes of love and hate… but all of these things are disastrous.

Scorpio:  8 of Wands, reversed – Jealousy, internal dispute, stings of conscience

Sagittarius:  Page of Wands – Dark young man, faithful, a lover, an envoy, a postman

Capricorn:  4 of Coins – Gifts, legacy, clinging to what one has, defense of resources

Aquarius:  Judgment, reversed – Weakness, simplicity, a reward denied

Pisces:  6 of cups – Memories, the past, current enjoyment from earlier seeds

Aries:  Temperance – Economy, frugality, management, accommodation

 

For some reason, I sleep like crap when the seasons turn, so I apologize if I can’t see too deeply into the signs above.

In fact, I can only see Saturn lining up with the Earth and the Moon, which could mean either trouble at home, broken locks, or good garden harvests.  There’s no definite distinction as to what sort of trouble you could be expecting at home-wise, but with Saturn’s connection to lead and the Moon’s connection to water, it could mean plumbing issues (sorry Mo).

Welcome to the top of the chart, Taurus!  Everyone else watch out for tendencies towards behavior for both good (strength, stamina, patience, focus) and bad (anger, callousness, a foolish consistency, recklessness) during this month of being bombarded by bull beams.

Remember last month how Pisces was stealing all of Aries’ mojo?  Same shit different sign.  Aries gets a lesser version of what it should have had in re: love and luck, and Taurus’ is delayed.  The same bad stuff is stable — Mars in Gemini, Jupiter retrograde in Sagittarius, and Saturn in Capricorn; but there is one major shaking things up happening: the Moon is in Aquarius.  This is generally a good sign of bounty, unexpectedly large return on investments, assistance unlooked for, that sort of thing.  But the overriding meaning is change, so there is also a non-trivial chance of disaster/ruin.

This week’s draw is very male-dominant.  All of the Wands are upright, all of the Cups are reversed.  The positioning of the court Wands cards indicates Zardoz-disapproved activity, though it reads more strongly if looked at from a male-male perspective, so maybe he’ll be OK with that.  There will be an abrupt transition between this week and the next.

Taurus:  Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise

Gemini:  7 of Cups, reversed – Desire, will determination

Cancer:  2 of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, “The sadness of Alexander amidst the grandeur of the world’s wealth”

Leo:  9 of Cups, reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections

Virgo:  5 of Swords – Degradation, reversal, dishonor, loss, infamy

Libra:  Knight of Wands – Dark man, probably a countryman, friendly, honest, conscientious

Scorpio: The Blank Card – All possibilities are yours.

Sagittarius:  6 of Wands – victory, triumph, great news, hope

Capricorn:  The Chariot, reversed – Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat

Aquarius:  The High Priestess, reversed – Passion, ardor, conceit, superficial knowledge

Pisces:  8 of Swords – Bad news, crisis, censure, conflict, sickness

Aries:  Death, reversed – inertia, sleep, sleepwalking, lethargy

 

 

The boot stomping on a human face forever stomps a little less vigorously, though it still stomps.  The Stars do have something significant to tell us this week.  The Sun and Mars are in alignment with Mercury and Saturn.  Now if Venus had been in opposition, this would have indicated an end to war, but we’re not that lucky.  Instead there will be a historically important battlefield death this week.  Those of you not on battlefields and/or not historically important can relax a bit.

Backstabbery and team drama continues as Mars hacks its way through Gemini.  Ordinarily we could count on Venus to offset that a bit, but she’s off consorting with Mercury in Pisces, resulting in a general decrease in libidos.  Aries gets its theme music.  And Jupiter retrograde in Sagittarius continues to be a right dick.  Did you ever know anyone who was covered in karma teflon?  I had a fraternity brother like that whom I will refer to as Edgar.  Edgar would constantly do stupid and/or criminal stuff and have the results of his actions land on someone else standing nearby.  He would do things like walk out of a place without paying, and the owners/security would converge on the people who came in with him (the fucker still owes me for that, btw) but the best example I can think of is one night when several of us drunk bastards were being driven home by our sober-driver brother.  Edgar rolled down the passenger-side window and whipped out the beer bottle he had just emptied… directly impacting the windshield of a parked (and occupied) police cruiser.  The sober driver got hauled off to jail, Edgar stumbled away unscathed and unrecorded.  Jupiter retrograde in Sagittarius is like that.  The only real thing working for us in the sky is the moon in Virgo, and while it does give us some protection, it’s most beneficial for women (so of course less useful for us).  It’s very good luck for any pentagram-wearing Wiccan lesbians who might be lurking.

This week’s draw looks remarkably good.  We have two cards that are exactly the same in meaning as Jupiter retrograde; but in this case in context, it might actually mean less “overzealous prosecution” and more like “cop was too interested in donut to notice you speeding.”  Literally only three number cards were drawn, so it’s going to be a big week and active at the end.

Aries:  5 of Coins – Love and lovers, concordance, affinities, material difficulties

Taurus:  Queen of Cups – Success, pleasure, happiness, wisdom, virtue.  This is probably the best possible draw for women.

Gemini:  Judgment, reversed – deliberation, simplicity, weakness

Cancer:  Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise, beginning, birth

Leo:  The Empress, reversed – Vacillation, light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicing

Virgo:  King of Cups, reversed – Injustice, vice, scandal, dishonest man.

Libra:  Justice, reversed – Law, bigotry, bias, excessive severity

Scorpio:  The Sun – Contentment, happy marriage, material happiness

Sagittarius:  10 of Swords, reversed  – Advantage, profit, success, favor, power, authority — but all of these things will only be short-lived

Capricorn:  7 of Coins – money, business, barter, ingenuity, purgation, quarrel, innocence

Aquarius:  Knight of Coins – Utility, responsibility, interest, rectitude

Pisces:  Knight of Wands – Departure, absence, flight, emigration, change of residence

 

The new feature in the sky is Jupiter going retrograde.  So government is going to be even worse — more incompetent and more abusive — than usual.  Of course this is only temporary until *traces line with finger holds up ruler* Holy fuck, August 11?  Well shit.  This is another reason why less government is a good idea; it minimizes the effects of Jupiter Retrograde.

Jupiter Retrograde plays a part in this week’s alignments, being aligned with the Earth and the Moon yielding a nominal value of “disruptive misrule at home.”  Unfortunately, this is also in a lunar resonance with a second alignment with Mercury and Venus.  That secondary one ordinarily would mean a good chance for a random hookup, but in this case indicates that you are going to do something stupid and nookie will be withheld as a result.  I hope your couch is comfortable.

Aries continues to be in the lead.  The natural order is maintained, but nothing terribly special

Pisces, on the other hand, is having a surge rebound from the shitty month they had in March, with a particularly auspicious arrangement of Mercury and Venus.  Yes, that same one as above, but in this context is leaning very heavily in the “short term interactions yield good results” direction.

Mars in Gemini continues the internecine strife.

The moon in Leo is not a terribly good sign.  I mean it’s not bad, but there’s the whole fire/water conflict and whatnot.  I think in this case, since it’s occurring during a time of Jupiter retrograde, it indicates a further undermining of leadership/authority.

If you’re a good person, this is bad; if you’re a bad person, this is good:  Jupiter going retrograde in Sagittarius indicates that karma is going to miss its target.  It also portends badly for my trip to the range.

 

This week’s card draw lead off with one with zodiacal symbols on it, indicating a particular accuracy for this week.  Which is unfortunate.

Aries:  9 of Swords – Despair, grief, mourning.

Taurus:  7 of Coins, reversed – Anxiety about money

Gemini:  4 of Coins, reversed – Suspense, delay, opposition

Leo:  Strength – Booya!

Virgo:  King of Coins – Valor, realizing intelligence, success in mathematical and intellectual endeavors

Libra:  8 or Wands, reversed – Jealousy, quarrels, stingings of conscience.

Scorpio:  The Hermit – Prudence, roguery, corruption, treason

Sagittarius:  9 of Coins, reversed – Roguery, deception, voided project, bad faith

Capricorn:  The Moon – Hidden enemies, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, error

Aquarius:  5 of Swords – Degradation, dishonor, loss, infamy, destruction

Pisces:  2 of Wands, reversed – Surprise, emotion, fear, trouble

 

P.S. Cancer: Knight of Wands – Departure, absence, flight. A dark young man. Change of residence.

 

Alignments:  Two (2) As follows–

     Venus-Mercury-Luna: “News of changing love.”  Does not apply to lesbians.  Does apply doubly to Pisces.  May or may not apply to lesbian Pisces.  Indications of additional male partners likely.

     Jupiter-Mercury-Sol: Significant political happenings.  Not an assassination.  Not a war.  Not peace talks.  Possibly a sporting event.  If a sporting event, most likely basketball or buzkashi.  Or maybe bass fishing.

Planetary visitations: Six (6) of which two (2) are the same as they have been for months.  Of the four (4) that are neither Jupiter in Sagittarius or Saturn in Capricorn–

     The Sun in Aries –  This means you get theme music this week.

     The moon in Taurus – a contradiction as the moon is a change sign and Taurus is stability.  Also not a contradiction, as the moon in nits crescent shape resembles the horns of a bull.  Being a contradiction and not a contradiction is contradictory.  Expect contradictions and horny bulls.

     Mars is Pisces – Brother fighting brother.  Turmoil in family life.

     Mercury and Venus in Pisces – Young love, new life, first fruits.

As for the cards, this week it looks like it’s all going to be at 6’s and 7’s.  Financial reversals (literally, all the coin cards were drawn reversed).  Otherwise, big things will be happening with three Kings drawn consecutively, and it will close out on a satisfactory note with the perfect/complete 10’s flanking The Magician (which is classically used as a stand-in for the querent) indicating that you will be in control at the end.

• Aries:  6 of Wands – Triumph, celebration, good news, parades
• Taurus:  6 of Cups, reversed – spoilage, events occurring ahead of schedule
• Gemini:  King of Coins, reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril
• Cancer:  King of Wands – Friendly dark man, an honest and conscientious person, a father
• Leo:  King of Cups – Friendly fair man, member of the professions, a responsible person
• Virgo:  7 of Swords – Quarreling, annoyance, a plan that may fail, hope, confidence
• Libra:  Knight of Coins, reversed – Idleness, inertia, stagnation, carelessness, discouragement
• Scorpio:  2 of Cups, reversed – false love, folly, misunderstanding, misdiagnosis
• Sagittarius:  Justice, reversed – Conformity, bigotry, bias, excessive severity
• Capricorn:  10 of Cups – Contentment, successful completion
• Aquarius:  The Magician, reversed – Physician, mental illness, disgrace, disquiet
• Pisces:  10 of Coins, reversed – chance, loss, robbery, dowry, games of hazard

 

 

Just a brief departure from the usual format. First I’ll go over the signs, then show how I applied this SCIENCE! to ensure that I had the best day at the range yet.

Just a couple of alignments to look at this week.  First, Saturn-Venus-Sol can translate literally into “Happy Ending” and also good luck for women named Electra.  Outdoor grilling will benefit.  Jupiter-Luna-Terra indicates a shift in your baseline level of happiness.  While this is bad news if you’re currently doing pretty OK, there are some mitigating aspects indicating a general increase in prosperity with this — so a “mo’ problems, mo’ money” kind of situation.

Happy goating to all the Aries out there.  It’s not going to be all peachy though, as someone is going to be jealous of your success.  Feel free to tell them to suck it.  You’ll want to because Taurus still has Mars trying to aggravate it into doing something stupid; but this should be the last week for that, leading to next week being significantly more chill.  Jumping across that huge gap of empty sky, we find Jupiter still in Sagittarius, which is pretty boring when finding something to say about it, but is still a really benevolent arrangement.  One sign over, we have the equally boring (but this time non-benevolent) Saturn in Capricorn.  Finally, Mercury is going forward again and joins Venus in Pisces.  Great for those looking for random hookups.

Now, how did I apply this knowledge?  Well, first of all Mercury has gone to direct motion so random errors were minimized.  Mars in Taurus encourages  patience and consistency in martial endeavors, so I spent some time every day figuring out where my errors were in pulling the trigger on my M9.  Jupiter (rulership, control, law) in Sagittarius (marksmanship) told me to dry-fire practice daily and to do things “by the book.”  Saturn in Capricorn told me not to overthink things and focus on the (curved, like Chronus’ sickle) trigger.  The end result? A perfect 100/100 with my CZ and an improvement from 22/100 to 93/100 with the Beretta.  See?  SCIENCE!

As to what’s in the cards,

Aries:  9 of Coins – Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment

Taurus:  The Hermit, reversed – Concealment, policy, fear

Gemini:  The Chariot, reversed – Car trouble, riot, dispute, litigation

Cancer:  7 of Wands – Courage, success by strategy

Leo:  8 of Swords, reversed – Disquiet, accident, difficulty, treachery, the unforeseen.

Virgo:  Temperance – Frugality, moderation, economy.

Libra:  Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, destruction, war, ruin, wrath, defense, resistance

Scorpio: 2 of Swords, reversed – Falsehood, duplicity, disloyalty

Sagittarius:  The Emperor, reversed – Benevolence, immaturity, confusion to enemies, credit

Capricorn:  Page of Swords – vigilance, spying, detective work, a weasely bastard on your side.

Aquarius:  7 of Cups – “Fairy favors,” imagination, sentiment, transitory success, significant choice to be made

Pisces:  6 of Wands – Hope realized, good news, victory

 

In honor of this week’s alignments, I will be relating no anecdotes.  None.  Which, not coincidentally, is the number of alignments in the sky this week.  To celebrate, get a book in a language you don’t read and use it as a pillow while you listen to 4’33” by John Cage.

Which isn’t to say the sky is empty.  MERCURY RETROGRADE is still fucking around up there (yes I’m still bitter about last weekend) but this is the last week we’ll have to deal with that little bastard.  Sorry Pisces, but it just wasn’t your year.

Very high likelihood of fishing accidents.

It’s Aries turn in the sun, though this week (undoubtedly due to MERCURY RETROGRADE’s influence) you don’t get the double or tripling luck effects typical if it being your turn.  Actually, I was “reading ahead” to see when Mercury direct and Venus would be blessing you, and frankly you got hosed, solar-conjunctionwise.

The rest of the sky hasn’t changed much.  Mars is still in Taurus, Venus is still in Aquarius, Saturn is still in Capricorn ,and Jupiter is still in Sagittarius.  For those of you who don’t remember from last week, that’s bad, good, bad, and conditionally good.

The moon is in Scorpio, which will be amplifying the effects of Venus in Aquarius, so that is good if you are either 1) female or 2) having sex with a female.  It’s not bad news for anyone.

This weeks card draws:

Aries:  4 of Wands – Rest, relaxation, peace

Taurus:  King of Wands – Friendly dark man, countryman, conscientious person

Gemini:  Knight of Swords – Courage, competence, resistance, wrath, destruction

Cancer:  King of Swords, reversed – Cruelty, evil intentions, barbarity, perversion

Leo:  The Hanged Man, reversed – Selfishness, crowds, voters

Virgo:  4 of Swords, reversed – Wise administration, economy, caution, testimony

Libra:  THIS CARD IS BLANK – I am not shitting you.  I drew a card with nothing on the face.  What does this mean?  Should I count the deck?  Do I have 79 cards, or am I missing one?  I don’t think it can be a coincidence that this happened on a week with no alignments.  Notice that the scales of Libra are also empty.  Sky, sign, deck – nothing, nothing, nothing.  This may be the only week in your life that you are completely beyond influence.  Tell us next week how you enjoyed freedom.

Scorpio:  10 of Cups – Perfect fulfillment and contentment

Sagittarius:  2 of Wands, reversed – Surprise, wonder, trouble, fear

Capricorn:  The Magician, reversed – A physician, mental illness, disgrace

Aquarius:  The Tower – Misery, ruin, catastrophe, indigence, adversity, disgrace, deception

Pisces:  2 of Coins, reversed – Simulated enjoyment, enforced celebration, handwriting, correspondence, composition