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Happy Friday, ev’rbody. I hope I get 800 comments on MY thread. Wink,wink.

I posted this in the morning comments, but here’s a Florida Man cocktail for you:

Russian Tang
4 oz Mad Dragon orange “wine-based product”
2 oz Russian vodka — don’t waste $$ on expensive stuff
Fill a glass full of ice. Mix. Two of these will make you not care that you’re strapped to a Russian rocket with no control over whether it goes to space or blows up.

Texas Woman fights off machete wielding clowns with scooter. God Bless Texas.

Oh boy. Every Presidential administration has to tilt at this windmill. Kushner to announce Middle East Peace Plan. I assume it is not to ramp up production at General Dynamics and let them sort out a lasting peace by any means necessary while paying hard currency for the, er, tools.

I present to you… the pinnacle of Florida Man and Woman.

Damn, man. I didn’t even know you could move $10K worth of stolen cigarettes. What’s the market for that? Venezuela. Or course, the way prices were going last I checked, that’s probably only 100 cartons now, “street value”

I think I know why these tigers are endangered.

I’m in a punk mood today. No telling how many of those Russian Tangs I’ll have had by the time this goes up.

I see that things have gone partially to shit with SP occupied trying to get us moved in. Where’s the evening posts? Meh, no one reads it anyway. Nor the links. And this morning, Sloopy suddenly found himself hors combat, so I have to drop what I’m doing and throw something together. And it will show. Call it a “bare bones post.” And recall the line from Office Space about what you’d think of someone who just does the minimum.

My regular Saturday morning links tomorrow will be up to my usual standards, I promise.

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One of my childhood heroes passes. I watched him play during the ’60s. Besides being a great hitter and very good base-runner, he was a fearless fielder, routinely falling into the stands in pursuit of foul balls. There are players that, along with being great at what they do, carry a certain aura, that change the entire feel of the game. He was one of those. He was overall the best baseball player I ever saw. (Surprisingly, I am too young to have seen that other Baltimore legend, that Ruth fellow)

At least we still have Boog Powell and Lou Reed.

 

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Remember how any Bush appointment to the Supreme Court would end abortion by overturning Roe v. Wade? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

 

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I’m no fan of religion, and of Islam particularly, but this seems terribly wrong. And the excuse, “Well, we employ a Christian, but no-one else, and it’s gotta be an employee” seems even wronger on many levels.

 

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As creepy as I find the idea of using a hooker, this is even creepier. I’d advise customers to carry in a black light.

 

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When this is inevitably shown to be a hoax, will taxpayers get a refund for the investigation cost? Ima guess no.

 

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And a brief musical interlude Old Guy Style, from my favorite jazz drummer, Roy Haynes, with Tommy Flanagan doing his usual thing, and Roland Kirk yet again making me want to smash my flute and give up.

This has been a fine week for the Democratic Party cannibalizing itself. The old eat the young, the young eat the rich, Twitter eats Virginia from the top down. More, I say, more! Chaos is more lovely to me than any sunset.

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Oh, Nancy. Your flesh is so stringy and tough. You’re like an erotic dried riverbed.

Pelosi Can’t Even Wait a Day Before Trashing AOC’s Green New Deal

Today, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled a congressional resolution calling for a Green New Deal, a sweeping, ambitious list of projects and goals that would help steer the world away from climate apocalypse and address inequality at the same time. Knowing this was coming, Nancy Pelosi gave an interview to Politico’s Playbook in which she trashed the idea

blah blah blah

Anyway, it’s super dope for the Speaker of the House to dismiss this as a “suggestion” and a “dream,” as we hurtle towards climate apocalypse, inequality grows, wages stagnate, and life expectancy shrinks. We love it!

There’s that mix of economic ignorance, hysteria and childish sarcasm that makes the Gawker Splinter brand so beloved.

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There’s still some good meat on them bones. Keep pickin’! Really get in there.

The Green New Deal’s Huge Flaw

On Thursday, Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled just such a fix: the Green New Deal, a proposal that bills itself as a plan for the environment and the economy in equal measure. It is designed to steer America toward a low-carbon economy, fulfill the right to clean air and clean water, restore the American landscape, strengthen urban sustainability and resilience, and put a generation to work. With prominent endorsements from leading Democratic presidential candidates, Ocasio-Cortez has brought more attention to climate change in two months than her Democratic peers did in the past two years.

But the Green New Deal has a big blind spot: It doesn’t address the places Americans live. And our physical geography—where we sleep, work, shop, worship, and send our kids to play, and how we move between those places—is more foundational to a green, fair future than just about anything else. The proposal encapsulates the liberal delusion on climate change: that technology and spending can spare us the hard work of reform.

Hive cities, density, density, density. The way I prefer to live is the only way anyone should live. Slate is getting better and better at turning personality flaws into policy proposals. Or, as Ballard put it…

“The more arid and affectless life became in the high-rise, the greater the possibilities it offered. By its very efficiency, the high-rise took over the task of maintaining the social structure that supported them all. For the first time, it removed the need to suppress every kind of anti-social behavior and left them free to explore any deviant or wayward impulses. It was precisely in these areas where the most important and interesting aspects of their lives would take place. Secure within the shell of the high-rise, like passengers on board an automatically-piloted airliner, they were free to behave in any way they wished, explore the darkest corners they could find. In many ways, the high-rise was a model of all that technology had done to make possible the expression of a truly free psychopathology.”

― J.G. Ballard, High-Rise

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Now here’s someone that knows the best meat is on the face.

Florida politician accused of licking faces has resigned

MADEIRA BEACH, Florida — Commissioner Nancy Oakley is being accused of sexually harassing a former city manager.

The Florida Commission on Ethics issued a report on its findings that Oakley possibly violated state law because she was “exhibiting inappropriate behavior” when she licked the city manager’s face at a fishing tournament in 2012.

The report said there was testimony from multiple witnesses saying Oakley also touched the then-city manager inappropriately, and that she was intoxicated.

The city manager didn’t report the incident out of fear of losing his job, the Commission on Ethics reports. He filed a formal complaint against Oakley in 2017 when she filed for re-election.

Upon election, she and another commissioner and the newly elected mayor suspended the city manager, who says they knew the ethics complaint against Oakley was pending.

According to the Miami Herald, Oakley resigned to avoid being fired.

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Good morning my Glibs and Glibarinas! And what a glorious morning it is for everyone except Virginia residents as 66% of their statewide elected officials dressed in blackface and 33% allegedly committed sexual assault.

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

 

Ok guys, let’s not go overboard here.

 

 

Is everyone in your family an asshole?

 

 

Idaho police arrest truck driver for carrying marijuana, driver and company claims it is hemp.

 

 

Feds are investigating Jeffrey Epstein’s plea deal.

 

 

Crazy Eyes gearing up for political theater to get Bad Orange Man.

 

 

Ukrainian lawmaker is a source for Fusion GPS, the opposition firm democrats hired during the 2016 election.

 

 

Democrats refuse to allow fellow representative Steve Scalise give testimony against gun control.

 

 

Memorabilia auction from Astroworld (which shut down in 2005).

 

 

That’s all I got for today, I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

Its always tough to follow a Hat & Hair episode. I mourn for the rest of the world who has not lived through our wonderful alternate reality. Here are some fun links to get you talking.

Florida Woman resigns from city council after being accused of non-consensual face-licking. Apparently, this is the final act in a long-running feud.

Cops who shot armed security guard in back will not face charges. Fuck.

Brits give two-fingered salute to EC President. He must be a secret Brexiter.

Greeks also taking the piss out of EU. The Greek Health Minister smokes when he drinks! Reeeeee!

How about a little Western Swing in honor of the Greeks.

Good morning my misanthropic malcontents! And what a glorious morning it is for Donald J. Trump who gave a speech that even his critics (as in almost the entire mainstream media) were forced to admit was good.  Well, maybe not all admitted it, many seem to be prepared to trash him regardless of what he said.

 

 

The SOTU had it all including Trump getting a group scowl from the shrieking harpy democrat brigade all dressed in white and scowling through most of the speech with a look on their face like they were huffing the farts of one of their fellow harpies. Trump managed to get them to stand up and clap as Trump recognized them (the most women ever in Congress) and recognized the highest amount of women to ever be in the work force.  He even got the miserable lot to chant USA.  Another great scowl came from Bernie Sanders after Trump slammed socialism and declared that the US will never be a socialist country.

 

 

 

In not SOTU news, Senator Grassley is expecting Mueller’s report in one month.  Many refuse to let go of hope that Mueller still has the smoking gun to take out Bad Orange Man.

 

Fauxcahontas’ fall from grace still not over yet.

 

This made me laugh.

 

I probably could keep going on, but it is past 7am and I need to get my girls ready for the day.  I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.