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Fimbulwinter Emergency Afternoon Links
Seen outside my window this afternoon… Journal Entry… “-22 and falling. Not sure if any others of TPTB have survived. Not sure if any of the Glibertariat are still alive… but… Must. Post. Links.”
*staggers to keyboard, types*
There….my duty is done!
- Yeah, it is cold here. Yes, I expect mockery from NoDak, Montanian and Minnesoda Glibs.
- FOOLS! Crisis? You just need more government spending and continued Socialist Mayoralities!
- Venezuela continues to be….something.
*crawls off to spike coffee with kirschwasser*
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The Hat and The Hair: Episode 107
“Nah, see, you aint’s understandin’ my plan,” the hat said rapidly.
“Why are you talking like that?” the hair asked calmly.
“I reopens the government and do the State of the Union and den Nancy has ta give me The Wall,” the hat said.
“Uh, OK,” the hair said.
“See, I’ll gets to give da speech and get The Wall!’
“Once the government is open, why would Nancy give you anything?”
“Because she said she would, bruh! She can’t back out! I’ve trapped her! It’s genius!”
Donald gently snored in his Oval Office chair, his feet up on his desk.
“It’s genius!” the hat said again, bouncing up and down.
“The government is only funded for three weeks, though,” the hair noted.
“It’s all the time I need. Nancy’s trapped. I’ve got her trapped!”
“You keep saying that, but what makes you think she’s going to give money for The Wall not that she got what she wanted. And can blame the government closing in three weeks on you?”
“You’re not getting it!” the hat wailed.
“What happened to your accent?” the hair asked.
“Shut up. I want The Wall. I need The Wall!”
“The Wall,” Donald mumbled. He farted and sat up.
“I want a Wall,” Donald said.
“Yes, a Wall, yes,” the hat said.
“5.6 billion dollars for the Wall,” Donald said. “It’ll be a great wall. Yuge Wall. No fucking slats, either. I want a real Wall.”
“You just had to go and wake him up, didn’t you?” the hair asked.
“Send troops to the border!” Donald said.
“Build The Wall high!” the hat said.
“Troops and a yuge Wall,” Donald crowed. “I want it high in the sky. Like real high! And made out of ice!”
alt-text spoilers, bruh “And the troops,” the hat said. “The troops have to be committed.”
“Yes!” Donald hissed.
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you two watch Game of Thrones,” the hair sighed.
“The Spic’s Watch,” the hat said. “They serve for life.”
“Yes, The Spic’s Watch: Killing lettuce pickers and day-laborers and ugly little Inditos,” Donald said.
“Donald!” the hair said, shocked. “Where did you even learn that word?”
“Porn,” Donald said.
“Porn?” the hair asked. “That’s your answer for everything.”
John Bolton’s mustache burst into the room. “Mr. President, we have to do something about Venezuela!”
“Why?” Donald said. “I think the new maid is great. The Presidential Shitter’s never been cleaner.”
“Go away,” the hat said. “We’re trying to do a bit on the border wall.”
“The border wall is very necessary,” John Bolton’s mustache.
“She could be better looking, though. Trump Tower has the best looking maids. Real primo tail,” Donald said.
“Mr. President!” Pie said as she plopped into the room. “Stacey Abrams is going to deliver the Democratic response to the State of the Union!” She struggled to breathe after the rush of words and staggered over to learn on the Presidential credenza.
“You really don’t want to touch that,” said the hair. “Venezuela hasn’t had a chance to wipe it off yet.”
“Who the fuck is Stacey Abrams?” Donald wondered aloud.
“Will none of you motherfuckers respect the bit we are doing?” the hat whined. “I had a Spic’s Watch oath joke all ready to go and everything.”
Pie clutched at her chest and John Bolton’s mustache rippled respectfully as they both paused.
“Well?” the hair asked.
“No, fuck it,” the hat replied. “It’s ruined, all ruined. You guys all ruined it. Ruiners.”
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Wednesday Morning Links
Good morning my maniacal miscreants! And what a glorious morning it is for most school children throughout US getting days off due to the polar vortex.
Actor in TV show I have never heard of tells fantastical story about getting recognized by two bigoted Trump supporters in the middle of the dead of night in the middle of downtown Chicago in the middle of a polar vortex where everyone would be dressed like Eskimos and had liquid dumped on him, a noose wrapped around his neck, and yelled “this is MAGA country”. Not only does is read like a terrible Law and Order script, combined with the the location and time, it seems beyond impossible. Hell, I would still struggle to believe it if it had occurred in June in the middle of nowhere in Alabama.
Is anyone really surprised by this?
After being arrested for a false positive drug test, a man’s case leads to the dismissal of 11 more cases.
Hard to feel sympathy for the leader of a domestic terrorist organization.
Journalists angry that they’re held accountable.
SFGATE journalists confused as to why so many shops, including newer ones, in San Francisco are closing. Socialistic batshit crazy levels of regulation, taxation, and increases in crime tend to make good people and good businesses disappear. I’m sure shit like this doesn’t help either.
Proposed Virginia abortion bill would allow abortion right up until birth including going into labor.
That’s all I got for today, In honor of all the new far leftist abortion laws, I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.
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Special Service Agent in Charge Scruffy don’t work for free…
Outside the Lincoln Memoral, Washington DC, January 19, 2019:
“Help a furloughed government worker?”
“Help a furloughed government worker?”
”Yeah I saw you looking at me! I know you have spare change! Where you going? He’s coming for you too! He’ll rape you and your planet!”
No. Not me. I got my suit from Woolworth’s, and damnit, I look pretty damn good. Imagine if you will, a man in a cheap suit sitting in front of the crowded Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC. He claims to be a furloughed government worker, with his agency no longer funded due to the government shut down. The man, in a cheap suit not because he is frugal, but because he is grossly underpaid and under appreciated by the very people he has sworn to protect. Now imagine him heavily addicted to nicotine, and highly depedent upon alcohol but now has no per diem for the travel he did on behalf of Uncle Sam. He has no way to pay for his bad habits, and no reason to believe anyone cares for him. He sits in front of a crowded Lincoln Memorial, a site many of you once visited, and held in awe of the awesome specacle that is the memorial.
“SPACE SMITH is coming, he is coming for you!”
He speaks in awkward phrases and tells people government secrets he is no longer paid to protect.
”The rock floating in space, Oumaumua, is no rock! Its a spaceship with an ancient evil coming in to rape our very existence!”
He’s not a madman. Imagine this is a broken man, with no reason to continue on with his existence in this world. Telling the world the truth behind the things the government does not wish for you and I to know.
”SPACE SMITH will rape you all if you don’t give me a cigarette!”
A Good Samaritan in a MAGA hat gives him a cigarette.”Thank you, could you spare a light? I traded away the last of my matches because I ran out of money. Government shutdown and all. HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!? You can’t leave me here without a light. SPACE SMITH IS COMING. He’s been on Earth before!”
He yells constantly, but others won’t listen. His fantastic claims of grand conspiracies, meaningless job titles, and special discounted rates for government employee’s at your local Marriott go dismissed by the passers by.
“Please donate your spare change…SPACE SMITH RAPED THE MOON! Give me your change or he’ll stick his big, fat, quantum tallywhacker inside your planet!”
Imagine still, in spite of everything we just witnessed, this wasn’t the stupidest thing that happened that cold January day in front of the Lincoln Memorial.
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Tuesday Afternoon Links
Well, its Tuesday, my kid is home sick from school, and I’ve done shit, sub-type jack, all day except play Entertainment Director to a five year old who should have gone the hell to VPK. We’re gun shy about sending him because school policy is that if they get caught with a fever over 100.4, they have to go home and stay home the next day. And the three-year old’s former teacher (now gone, yay!) used to jack with the system to get kids sent home so she could have fewer kids in her class. So anyway, five year old has “tripped on the stairs” and “hurt his knee” like six times today. But only when I’m trying to work.
Well good on the Eugene, OR cops for taking on this armed moron at a school. Textbook response. Engage, ask them to walk (but be nice), help them walk (but be nice), shoot them dead when they draw a firearm.
Grauniad gonna grauniad. In their view, Bill Gates is lying with statistics when he says the world is getting better. Even though fewer people of dying of disease and starvation:
Prior to colonisation, most people lived in subsistence economies where they enjoyed access to abundant commons – land, water, forests, livestock and robust systems of sharing and reciprocity. They had little if any money, but then they didn’t need it in order to live well – so it makes little sense to claim that they were poor. This way of life was violently destroyed by colonisers who forced people off the land and into European-owned mines, factories and plantations, where they were paid paltry wages for work they never wanted to do in the first place.
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Aligning the incentives in the Union
I liked Not Adahn’s post on changes to the political system enough that I thought I’d write one of my own. While I could wax philosophical about democracy and republicanism and the like, that’s all been hashed through 1000x by people much smarter than me.
Instead, I wanted to approach some moderate changes that could be made to the current system to make them much more responsive to citizens’ revealed preferences and personal priorities rather than their stated preferences and social priorities. I’m under no illusion that any of this could ever happen, but it’s a fun discussion to have.
I mentioned in Not Adahn’s post that barriers to entry aren’t going to affect the incentive to acquire power because power, once acquired is lucrative enough to render those barriers to entry useless.
I wrote:
The only way to curb abuses is to kill the incentive to accumulate power via fedgov. That’s an incentive that cant easily be counterbalanced with barriers to entry or other disincentives. It’s also very hard to reduce or kill that incentive. As long as fedgov is the sovereign, no amount of legislation will prevent power seekers from eventually maximizing the reach of their institution.
What’s the best way to curb the social greed of those who seek power and the complacency of the electorate that gives the power to the seekers? How about an even stronger and more acute incentive? Personal greed.
Perhaps not this half-cocked. My half-cocked idea is as follows. Tax day is now election day. The total government budget is set by popular vote, but with a twist. You have 5 choices: Budget stays the same as last year (zero based, no adjustments). Budget plus 5%, Budget minus 5%, Budget plus 10%, Budget minus 10%. Once you are done voting, you get a receipt for your votes (like usual), as well as a bill for your taxes owed at the percentage you voted for. Taxes are due immediately, and there are representatives of the IRS and the various localities in the building to take payment.
If you do not pay, your vote is marked provisional and you have 30 days to pay your bill (plus interest) and have the vote counted. After 30 days, your vote no longer counts, and while you still owe the money (and interest), it is no longer considered part of the annual budget and is saved in a rainy day fund that requires massive agreement to access (2/3 states and 2/3 of each legislative body).
This delineation is important because the federal budget is given to Congress based on actual tax receipts within the 30 day window. Balanced budget is constitutionally required, but Congress has the authority to allocate the specific expenditures within the money received on voting day. However, once you run out of money, you’re done.
Obviously, it would require a massive simplification of the tax code. It would probably also require some sort of assurance that everybody has to contribute at least something.
The benefit of this plan is that it aligns incentives for the populace limiting taxation and government expenditures. Of course, it would never happen because 1) it takes away the meticulously crafted system where costs of government are hidden and benefits are touted; and 2) anything that associates taxation with voting will be lambasted as “POLL TAXXXXX!!!!”
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Tuesday Morning Links
Good morning my saucy scalawags! And what a glorious morning it is, it’s sad that the partial government shutdown has partially ended. But look at the brighter side of life, it’s only for a few weeks.
It’s cold as balls, and Trump wants global warming to return.
Pelosi’s approval rating lower than Trump’s over government shutdown.
This headline must have been painful for CNN to write.
With the Mueller investigation winding down, expect more articles to emerge like this one.
This is genuinely heartwarming.
You’re not going to get rid of that crazy bitch that easily.
Dem candidates keep trying to outdo each other. I’m waiting for the next one to ask for a 100% tax on the rich and reeducation camps for the deplorables.
That’s all I got for today, I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.
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STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE!
GOOD ADVICE! STEVE SMITH SEE FRIEND ZARDOZ GIVE ADVICE, AND HIM THINK…WHY NOT STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE TOO? SO HIM HERE TO GIVE ADVICE. HIM DO LIKE FRIEND ZARDOZ AND TAKE FROM SILLY OLD “DEAR ABBY” COLUMN. READY FOR GOOD ADVICE? HERE IS:
When I read the column about the warning signs of an abuser in your archives, I was scared to realize that my older brother is one. He has most of the qualities you pointed out except for the sex stuff.
He just turned 14, and he has just started dating. That got me thinking. If one day he moves in with someone or gets married, how am I going to warn the girl to watch out? I’m being hit, and I have things thrown at me all the time, and I don’t want anyone else to experience that. My parents have tried to get him professional help, but it hasn’t worked. Please help. — BRUISED SISTER IN SAN FRANCISCO
STEVE SMITH NO LIKE WHEN FAMILY HURT FAMILY. BUT, SOMETIMES MAY HAVE RETALIATE, TEACH LESSON. FIRST, TRY HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK!
LEAVE SISTER ALONE! IF THAT NO WORK, THEN LET STEVE SMITH KNOW, HIM COME OVER AND HAVE WORD WITH BROTHER. BY HAVE WORD WITH, MEAN RAPE. ROCK AND RAPE MAYBE MAKE BROTHER READY FOR COUNSELLING.
DR. SMITH SEE YOU NOW. HOPE ADVICE WORK!
I have been married for seven years. The last time my husband and I have been out of the house together was last summer. No movies, dinners, festivals, etc. I finally gave up suggesting things to do.
My husband says I’m the one who feels the need to go out once a week or take an annual vacation. It hurts knowing he goes out to eat with his buddies on his lunch breaks at work. I have said as much, but we still don’t go anywhere on the weekends, and he still goes out to eat with his friends. What do you make of this? — PRISONER IN OHIO
THIS PUZZLE STEVE SMITH. HIM LOVE NIGHT OUT ON TOWN. BY NIGHT OUT ON TOWN, MEAN RAPE TOWN, AT NIGHT. TRY SUGGEST SOMETHING FUN, BUT CHEAP AND EASY.
WHEEE! IF THAT NO WORK, TRY GET PET. IT KEEP COMPANY, AND MAYBE SILLY HUSBAND RELAX.
SEE? RELAXING. ONLY CHOICE, IF THAT NO WORK, IS HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK, THEN GO OUT WITH FRIENDS.
HAPPY DATE NIGHT! STEVE SMITH SURE ADVICE WORK!
HOPE ALL FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE ENJOY ADVICE!
FREE CASCADIA!
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Monday Afternoon Links
SP leaves us alone for one day to do important stuff like pack for a move and we drop the ball on a midday post. I tell you folks, she’s the person who keeps this site running, and everyone should bow and scrape shamelessly to her. Shit, I can’t make the links run on time every day. Anyhow, happy Monday. I’m studying for what I fondly hope are my last set of M$ tests ever. The GRE was a fucking joke compared to their shitty, hard, nit-picky exams. But the upside is that they’re mostly worth a shit if you have some experience, and its a voluntary non-governmental solution to figuring out who the fuck to hire.*
Most Austin bank-robber ever? Here’s a tip, you don’t want the getaway vehicle associated with you.
I am reliably told that handguns never resolve any situation peaceably. I’m sure this is just an aberration.
After outliving its desired service lifespan by 15 (Earth) years, it appears that the Opportunity Mars rover may be dead. If only we could get that kind of service life out of cell-phones.
It must have been pretty shitty when this thief tried the pills he stole.
For all you people who live in the cold parts. I’m not there because…
*If you make hiring decisions, technology certifications should match experience. Its a big red flag if they don’t (Jimbo has 4 MSCEs but has never done anything but helpdesk? Maybe he shouldn’t be hired as your Director of IT Operations). Also, lots of very talented, knowledgeable people in my and other IT fields never bother getting certifications.