Blog

  • Friday Afternoon Links

    Happy Friday everyone. I may be scarce in the comments. Beer thirty came early today. I’m going to the best nano-brewery in the world (IMO) for a couple, and then bringing home some growlers. Seriously, always 40 beers on tap of their own make, across several styles, any one of which can stand toe-to-toe with the best craft breweries.

    Proof:

    German-style flight: Schwarzbier, Kolsch, Bockbier, Maibock. All delicious

     

    Well, let’s just jump into today’s biggest controversy with two feet: Count me among the people who think Myles Garrett’s suspension is right, but Mason Rudolph got a complete pass for continuing to instigate. If nothing else, he should sit a game for going back to the scrum after he got hit.

    I think Rudy Giuliani is a scumbag, but this really is turning into a party-selective witch hunt. Somehow, the last name of Biden or Kerry makes you immune to federal investigation? Come on. Don’t piss down our backs and tell us its raining. Next they’ll want us to believe that Epstein killed himself.

    Lol. The fucking Wall Street Journal ponders Warren’s tax plan as if it were real. >100% effective rates on some rich people. Wealth and capital taxes are artifacts of dying governments. They only accelerate economic decline.

    LARPers protest Federalist Society event. Go back to the RenFest!

     

    All the talk about those judges got me thinking of this song… I think my favorite part is how dated the idea the $5 a beer is expensive.

  • Individualism: True And False; A Review

    The following review is for the Article “Individualism: True and False”, which can be found in the book: “Individualism and Economic Order” by F. A. Hayek. The Mises Institute graciously provides a pdf or ebook copy of this book for free here.

    You know what other Austrian wrote about Economic Order....?
    F. A. Hayek

    When slightly younger me was in college I was taking my required History of Economic Thought course. I had always been free market leaning, but had been a bit put off by Neo-Classical Economics. When my instructor, a real deal Marxist/Moaist, taught us about the “Cambridge Capital Controversy“, I was a completely shaken. I knew I couldn’t stick with the Neo-Classical framework, as it was founded on circular reasoning. Fortunately, the professor had assigned us to read one book by an influential economist, and present it to the class. While scanning through the list of approved books I saw Individualism and Economic Order by F. A. Hayek. It looked right up my alley. I had heard of Hayek before, but never read any of his works. I knew he was a free market economist, but also a “Gold Bug”, so younger me had avoided him as a wrong-thinker. Now that my faith in those who had derided him for his monetary views was destroyed, why not give him a shot?

    Reading and studying this book, which is a series of related articles by Hayek, was a pivotal moment for my political ideological growth, and in particular the first Article “Individualism: True and False”. What Hayek talked about made thoughts I had already been having clarify. It resolved conflicts I had been tussling with and urged me to investigate more into him and the Austrian school of thought. And that is why i am today reviewing the primary article from the book.

    WE?!?!?! YOU GOT A F****** MOUSE IN YOUR POCKET?
    Individualist oppressing minority group, circa 2019, colorized

    In “Individualism: True and False”, Hayek sets the tone for the rest of the book, arguing for the social system of Individualism. But before he can do that, he needs to clear some things up. You see, in Hayek’s mind there is a lot of confusion in the world about what Individualism is. Some of that confusion is created intentionally, by the opponents of individualism, and some springs from the fact that there are two distinct philosophical lines of thought that claim the title of Individualism. Hayek (in a true Scottish fashion) labels these as “True” individualism, and “False” individualism.

    For “True” individualism, Hayek sees it’s roots in the Scottish Enlightenment and subsequent British philosophers. Thinkers like Adam Smith, David Hume and Edmund Burke as well as Lord Acton and Alexis de Tocqueville, are the foremost paragons of this type of individualism. The ideas espoused by these men establish a theory of society in which ” there is no other way toward an understanding  of social phenomena but through our understanding of individual actions directed toward other people and guided by their expected behavior.” In other words, it is a theory of society, that sees the individual actor as paramount. (It is interesting to note that this is in stark contrast to a common criticism that individualism sees men as isolated individuals, best understood without the context of society). To these philosophers, while human reason was interesting, and could play a role in individual decision making, it was neither paramount or necessary to their theory of society. In fact, they argued that the greatest institutions of man were mostly created spontaneously from the interactions of independent actors, creating a system greater than the designs of those participating in it.

    In contrast, Hayek saw a “False” or “Rationalistic” individualism. This theory, espoused by continental philosophers like Rousseau, and the physiocrats, saw all discoverable order as the result of a Rational Mind. To them the individuals rationality was the pinnacle of humanity. Any system that was not rationally planned or designed was from the start inferior to a planned system. This system of thought, however almost always lead to the worst aspects of collectivism. Even today you can hear it’s echos in calls for Communism. An article in favor of “Disaster Communism”, has the author arguing “Climate change represents the biggest threat humanity has ever faced. Why does it seem that we cannot do anything about it? Because the productive forces we created are totally outside our rational control.”.

    This dumb fuck is arguing for communism, and talks about "Rationality"?!?
    If only we could know what he was thinking.

    Once he has cleared up and segregated these two competing forms of “Individualism”, Hayek is able to tussle with many common critiques and show why they are misplaced. I would, however be remiss to explain these here, and leave their discovery as an exercise for you to read.

     

    This Article is a fantastic primer for anyone who may be amiable to libertarian thought, but is not so simplistic as to be overlooked by those who are already on board. It is fairly simple, and does not dive into any deep economic concepts that could be confusing. Recommended age: 17 +. The rest of his book is very good as well, though can get a bit technical and dry at times.

    Four, half, rating, ratings, star icon
    4.5 / 5
  • Friday Morning Links

    What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?

    I watched a few minutes of the Stillers-Browns 2.0 game last night. I guess I watched the wrong few minutes and missed all the action.  The Browns 2.0 won but holy fuck, what was Myles Garrett drinking at the end when he hit a dude in the head with his own helmet? A dude who was knocked out cold in midair a few weeks back after being hit, no less.  Fuck, he should be suspended for the rest of the year.  What a dumbass.

    On the ice, your winners were Carolina, Tampa Bay (who almost put up double-figures), Winnipeg, THE MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIILD!!!!!!!!, Edmonton, Dallas, San Jose, and Los Angeles.  And across the pond, England and Portugal booked their tickets to the European Championships. The USMNT seeks revenge against Canada tonight. Or redemption. Or something. Who the fuck knows with that team anymore.

    Rommel in Afrika.

    Overrated artist Georgia O’Keeffe was born on this day. As were the sonofabitch whose book Patton read Erwin Rommel, actress Beverly D’Angelo, guy who baseball was berry berry good to Pedro Borbon, rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard, and Mexican golfer Lorena Ochoa.  That’s the list. Jeez, that was really weak.

    Oh well, on to…the links!

    The scene had been secured hours before this was taken.

    Some asshole kid, who got his gun illegally, shot five people and then tried to kill himself but failed yesterday in California. It all happened in the span of a few minutes and all happened in a small area. But the cops still managed to trot out their ACPs and rifles and patrol around the entire area for hours like it was a war zone or something.

    Does this count as interstellar racism? Or would it only count if it had been a white dwarf stopping a black hole from doing something?  I want to stay ahead of the curve here before the SJWs set the narrative.

    Cuomo’s viral campaign manager.

    Cuomo gets an endorsement for President. Maybe he should jump back in the race. Or was he ever in the race? I can’t keep track anymore.

    IF he jumps back in, he can take the spot soon to be vacated by Deval Patrick. That is, if this even gets reported by some of the “major” outlets.  Christ, what an asshole.  You want to see abuse of power? This is abuse of power.

    I suppose this was inevitable. I’m sure BART will just settle. It’s not like the money will come out of their budget anyway.

    Not so sure about the death penalty? Let’s see if this changes your mind at all. I wish they could fry the guy.

    Now an aside: if and Dallas-Ft Worth area Glibs would like to meetup next week, I plan to be in the area all next week. I want to come home before the OSU-Penn State game to watch with my family, so Friday is most likely out. But I’ll be there Monday through Thursday night and haven’t booked my hotel yet, so could probably move it around for the meetup. I’m working in Arlington near Jerry World and would probably stay close to there, but could juggle that around a bit if needed. Or just take an Uber. Whatever works.  But if anybody is interested, please let me know in the comments or by emailing me through the contact us tab (sorry, other founders if we get a few emails). I would very much like to meet a few of you I don’t know.

    I’m wrapping the week up with another big male solo act from the 70s. I enjoyed this week.  And yes, I know this wasn’t his biggest song. But the biggest has been overplayed. And this song is awesome anyway.

    Have a great Friday and a better weekend, friends. I’m driving a few hours to pick up some stolen property from a police station to auction off.

  • OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls

    OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls

    Clean up your Messes Edition

     

    It’s time to strike camp, pay our debts, and get out of town!  It’s

     

    Week Eleven Most OverRated Football Program Results

     

    1          Minnesota was not stomped by Penn State

    2          Oregon was idle

    I got nothing (except that SMU rant from last week which I absolutely stand by).

     

     

    Things are going easy for the Committee since both Bama and Penn State fell on their swords.

    1. Ohio State made soup of the Terps
    2. LSU bested Bama at Bama
    3. Alabama hung 41 on LSU but lost anyway
    4. Penn State was upset at Minnesoda
    5. Clemson smoked a pack-o-Wolves at NCSU
    6. Georgia toyed with Mizzou

     

    not SMU chicks

    Unsolicited memoir:  I was told I was going to a single UGA sorority soirée over the weekend but got suckered into three, three I tellsya soiréeauxeses.  Tickets were row 13 about dead midfield:  I had a better view than ESPN.  It was pretty near freezing as the game ended, which is fine, but the whole point of going to an SEC game is to take in shorts-n-skirts season:  oh well, a certain sort of squandering of a trip to Athens unless you’re into impotent Tigers.

     

    But the Committee doesn’t care about that; they had a list to update . . . thus:

    1. LSU is set for Atlanta
    2. Ohio State has Penn State and Michigan before getting to Indy
    3. Clemson is sharpening their skates, waiting for the pond to freeze
    4. Georgia has Auburn before Atlanta
    5. Alabama needs too much help at this point
    6. Oregon can make a statement against the Utes

     

    College Football Playoff Oughta Be

    Big Ten        Ohio State might see Minnesoda in the championship

    SEC                LSU need only handle aTm and Auburn to meet UGA in the championship

    ACC                Clemson is pretty much done with the regular season

    PAC64             Oregon lost to Auburn, a team UGA could well beat for its third quality win

    Big XII            Oklahoma struggled to edge TCU and closed the books on itself for the year

     

    Silly Loser Ordination

    Alabama                       best one-loss              team in the nation

    Wisconsin                    best two-loss              team in the nation

    Iowa                              best three-loss          team in the nation

    Washington                 best four-loss             team in the nation

    Michigan State            best five-loss              team in the nation

    South Carolina            best six-loss               team in the nation

    Tulsa                             best seven-loss            team in the nation

    Northwestern              best eight-loss            team in the nation

    Rice                               best nine-loss            team in the nation

    Texas Southern           only ten-loss              team in the nation

     

    Second CFP Week N + 1 Most OverRated Football Programs

     1          Minnesota was not stomped by Penn State and rockets beyond their pay grade

    2          Utah  re-enters the fray but won’t play anyone until Oregon in the Pacific punch-out

    3          Georgia re-enters our list after their sudden CFP promotion; remember that they lost to South Carolina who has since lost to Ap State

    4          Oregon was idle and is probably not overrated to speak of anymore

     

    Honorable Mentions

    Things have settled more or less where they belong, so there’s not much to say here.

    Toldjaso™ Boise State buoys in the competency vacuum but plays no one for the rest of the year.

    Kansas State plummeted after losing to Texas, but I just didn’t have the guts last week to say they were truly overrated; send their files to the basement already.

    Formerly-nailed Appalachian State jumped into the rankings, but there’s no real test for them left, so I’m not arguing with the Committee down past two dozen spots.

    Psuedotoldjasos:  Already-called Wake Forest and SMU finally fell plumb out of the rankings; we wish to hear their names no more.

     

    Year to Date Hides on the Wall

    1          Georgia lost at home to the second-best team from South Carolina that almost lost to UNC

             Utah lost to an unrated USC but seems to be coming back

    2          Stanford was revealed by USC

    2          Syracuse was unranked after Maryland

    2          Michigan was blown out by Wisconsin

    2          Notre Dame sold off after losing to a highly ranked Georgia

    7          UCF was edged by an unranked Pitt and continues to muddle

    7          Iowa was no number 15 as Michigan proved

    7          Wake Forest allowed Louisville to hang 62 on them

    7          Cal was dumped from the AP after losing to Arizona State

    11        Boise State lost by three to toothless BYU

    11        Iowa State was dethroned before their decent showing against Iowa

    11        Memphis lost to possibly 80th best team in the nation Temple and disappeared for a while

    11        SMU lost at Memphis fell eight places

    15        Michigan State slowly fell out of the ratings, so I was right after all

    15        Clemson was dethroned by barely edging Mack Brown retirement project UNC

    15        Texas lost to OU (mid-season toldjasos™) and has continued to suck and plummet

    15        Texas probably over-paid for losing to titan LSU (early-season toldjasos™), but then they let Kansas hang 48 on them at home

    15        Appalachian State got a case of the Statesboro Blues and fell over six slots

    20        Auburn over-paid for losing to Florida

    20        Texas A&M probably over-paid for quality losses against Clemson and Auburn . . . or maybe not

    20        Washington State was de-ranked after becoming lowly UCLA’s first win

    20        Virginia continues to lose after losing to can-play-with-UGA Notre Dame

    24        Oklahoma lost to Kansas State . . . inexcusable

    25        San Diego State didn’t make the Committee’s list at all

     

    Year to Date It-Would-Seem Blown Calls Because They’re Doing Okay Really Well

    1          LSU (that was a typo or something, I swear)

    2          Florida seems to have earned their status by defeating top-ten Auburn

    3          Oklahoma is no longer a blown call because Kansas State

    4          UCF is now a skin on the wall after Pitt

    5          Michigan is no longer a blown call because Wisconsin

    6          Washington State is no longer a blown call because UCLA

     

    Our year now stands at 25 2 – 4.  The week endeth thus!

     

     

    links to older opinions:
    2019-11-07                  2019-10-31                  2019-10-24                  2019-10-17                  2019-10-10
    2019-10-03                 2019-09-26                  2019-09-19                 2019-09-13                 2019-09-06
    Disclosure of sources of bias:  your correspondent has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.
  • Thursday Afternoon Links

    What a weird day. I know gray and overcast equals winter for more than half of our commentariat, but it feels like doomsday here. I haven’t seen the sun in 36 hours and I’m comfortable in pants. What is happening?! Also, speaking of weird, I was following up on a decent chunk of change left in my father-in-law’s prison canteen account when he passed. It won’t make us rich, but it will buy my mother-in-law a new iPhone for Christmas. I called a FLDOC number, the lady tried to transfer me to someone, he had gone to lunch so she transferred me to his voicemail… and here’s where it gets weird: Not only did he call me back, but he was able to provide me with clear, easy to follow instructions to get a check cut and mailed! Total bizarro world! For my next trick, I will try to get Ford to pay me for a repair I had done that was retro-actively warrantied.

    Don Brett wants to know… how do you like your pork chops?

    Impeachment Central:

    I think if the Democrats have already lost the LA Times, this impeachment thing is not going to play well.

    So an American administration can, without the consent of Congress, fly literal plane-loads of cash to Iran without it meeting the bribery threshold, but withholding promised military aid that had never been delivered is bribery? Can anyone even see the goalposts anymore?

    Republicans Pounce! Threaten to hold a full impeachment trial, damn the campaign schedule

     

    It’s a certain type of weather here in Florida.


    SugarFree’s Dem Deathwatch: A New Hope 2, Part 3

    Deval Patrick Makes A Late Entry Into The 2020 Presidential Race

    Although…

    https://twitter.com/mldauber/status/1194992096022683648

  • Le roi est mort; vive le roi

     

     

    It was warm for November, at least by the standards of most of the men who had just arrived at Camp Kilmer, New Jersey, for the pending Trans-Atlantic voyage. The temperature on November 2, 1944, was in the mid-fifties throughout the day, even made it into the sixties. Two transport ships – the MS John Ericsson and the SS Santa Maria – waited at a pier not far away in New York, both bound for England and the War. The men, most of whom hailed from Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey, spent a comparatively idyllic twelve days in the area, using twelve and twenty-four hour passes to visit the Big City. The average age of the men was twenty-one. At least one of them came from the small town of Johnston, in the smallest state, Rhode Island. That was my grandfather. If he was unusual, it was only by his comparative age: his twenty-fifth birthday had passed a week earlier and at home waited a wife and three children.

    The 272nd Infantry Regiment officially became a part of the 69th Infantry Division on May 15, 1943, with its activation at Camp Shelby, Mississippi. The original cadre of 23 officers and 228 enlisted men came from the 96th Infantry Division at Camp Adair, Oregon. By the time the unit received its reinforcements from the Northeast and finished training in Mississippi, it was “the Fighting 272nd, the Battle Axe Regiment,” under the command of Colonel Walter Buie, United States Army.

    The men sweated under a special kind of nervous anticipation; it comes only from knowing you are headed to War. There is some of the bravado often associated with high school sports, as young men fall back on the only remotely analogous contest-of-wills they have ever known. The thoughtful ones are almost always quiet; they know that sports do not contemplate Death and Destruction as their ultimate objective. Despite this, however, optimism reigned.

    While the War in Europe was raging, it had been turning steadily in the Allies’ favor. Even the Japanese were beginning to lose ground to the U.S. in the Western Pacific: in early October, the Allies landed forces on Crete; Canadian forces crossed into the Netherlands; and the Soviet Red Army entered Hungary. By mid-October, the first battle on German soil – at Aachen – began. On October 20th, 1944, MacArthur landed in the Philippines to announce that he had returned, good to his word.

    By the time the men of the 272nd make it across the Atlantic and establish their headquarters near Salisbury, England, the war appears to be firmly in hand for the Allied powers. It is now being fought on the German homeland; the men of the 272nd are almost jovial as the word gets to them about the course of events.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    Fraaann-cisss!” The kids yelled my middle name as a taunt. I tried to hide in the bushes, but they know I’m in there. Every day going to and coming home from school is like this. It’s a girl’s name some older kids say. Fraaann-sisss. It always came out that way. My first name – Dale – hardly made the case against me any better. The kids who do it are older, bigger, and worst of all, they come from money. Their family name is on local stores. I curse them from the bottom of my soul every day, wishing them horrible misfortune. Years later when passing through town I notice the stores have changed names. I ask around and learn the family suffered terrible tragedy and lost everything; the feeling of schadenfreude that comes over me can only be described as decadent and sinful.

    At some point I remember asking my father why my name was what it was: just why (oh why?) did you name me this, Dad?

    “You got your first name from my Staff Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge. He was a really good man when I was young Airman in the Air Force. His name was Dale. And, of course, your middle name came from my father, your grandfather, Francis Norman Saran.”

    None of that meant anything at five years young.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    The morale in the 272nd whipsaws on December 16, 1944 when the German Army launches a massive counteroffensive into the Ardennes forest in Belgium, beginning what will come to be known as the “Battle of the Bulge.” The German military had used the exact same tactic in the exact same place three times previously – September 1870, August 1914, and May 1940. Despite this, the Allies leave the Ardennes lightly defended by two inexperienced and two battered American divisions and the Germans catch them flat-footed. Three German armies – more than 410,000 men, along with all of the supporting arms – launch the deadliest and most desperate battle of the European campaign in the heavily wooded, rugged terrain of the Ardennes. The once-quiet region is overrun with the German counter-offensive. The 1st SS Panzer Division takes the town of Malmedy on December 17, 1944, and eighty-four U.S. soldiers are executed in the Malmedy Massacre. The U.S. 106th Infantry Division will be decimated before the battle’s end, as it seeks to buy precious time for Patton’s Eighth Army to execute an impossible ninety-degree pivot from the town of Lorraine to protect the American flank at Bastogne.

    The Wehrmacht, led by Hitler’s own disciple, Sepp Dietrich along with SS Troops, penetrates the Allied lines along an eighty mile front. Only at Elsenborn Ridge do the Americans hold. The possibility exists that the German Army will run all the way to the Belgian coast at Antwerp – that is indeed Hitler’s plan – severing the line between the U.S. and British forces and leaving four entire Allied Armies trapped behind German lines. The hope for the Germans is a separate peace with the Allies and then a chance to fight their arch-nemesis Russia – alone – on the Eastern Front.

     

     

    My grandfather’s unit yearbook grimly records the events:

    Morale was high, and war seemed to be far away during the first part of December. Then came the newsflash of the German breakthrough in Belgium on 16 December 1944. War now seemed close at hand, and our attitude changed from one of the casual interest to one of serious personal regard. On Christmas Day, 700 men were taken from the Regiment for immediate shipment to Belgium to help stop the German onslaught. It was about this time that the Regiment was warned to prepare for shipment to the battlefront. During the remainder of the cold days of December and the first part of similar January days, we continued to train and readjust from the Christmas Day losses.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    My father leaves the Air Force in 1968 while the Vietnam War rages on; we wind up near his sister and I am born in a small town in Eastern Texas. That doesn’t last during the tumult of civil rights marches and desegregation and my mother home alone with two infants. We move back home to the Northeast – back to the home my father helped build, alongside his father and brothers: my grandfather’s house.

    We don’t stay there long, but my early childhood revolves around my father’s parents and the family headquarters, as it were, on a small plot in Johnston, Rhode Island. My grandmother, the family matriarch, presides over the chaos of her six children with all of their kids, while my grandfather is the very definition of the kind, gentle Stoic in the midst of it all.  His pipe smoke – first Borkum Riff, later Captain Black Apple-flavor – are like incense in the front room, where he can be found staring out the front door into the trees beyond the driveway. He stands like that for long moments, for what seems like forever to my young eyes, and I can never figure out what he’s seeing.

    The Red Sox are always on in the background, either on the television set if we can get reception with the proper combination of rabbit ears, tin foil, and luck; or on the radio, if none of the above coalesce for visuals. On Sundays, my grandfather attends the church where he helped lay the cornerstone. When he returns, we all know we’re getting “dough-boys” – Pèpè’s special “recipe” of bread dough with a whole cut or ripped in the center, fried in some oil. Every once in a while he’ll gift us with french toast if we beg.

    He smiles, his blue eyes clear and twinkling, never looking past you, always right into yours.

    “Alright, my boy!” he says with unadulterated enthusiasm. “Here we go!” as he puts the plate of steaming fried dough on the table and we all chafe to cover ours with whatever we like: my father eats his with butter and jelly, carefully preparing each bite, while my sister and I rip the dough into pieces, lightly burning our fingers with impatience, and then slathering the bits with maple syrup.

    My grandfather always sits patiently at the table with us, or hangs around the kitchen watching us eat, a smile across his face. He listens, watches, sometimes participates in the conversation, but always smiles watching us eat. It doesn’t dawn on me until decades later that having been born in 1919, his childhood would have been right in the middle of the Great Depression. Once over some holidays one of my grandfather’s brothers comes by to visits and I hear the adults in the kitchen from where I am snooping, just outside of the threshold:

    “Remember those lard sandwiches, Frank? We used to take those to school every day.” Everyone turns to my grandfather – I can hear it by the silence.

    “Oh yeah,” he answers evenly. “Yeah. Every day…” The other adults – my father’s generation – turn to my great-uncle and urge him to explain.

    “Mom would cook the bacon in the morning,” he begins, “and then when it cooled to a solid, she’d put that right on some bread and that’s what we brought to school: lard, with some of those bits in it, on bread.” You can hear the recoil and disgust from my father and his siblings. I cringe where I’m standing.

    “Ehh, I didn’t think it was so bad…” I hear my grandfather’s voice into the silence and the room erupts in laughter and jeers. My grandfather almost sounds sheepish, but it’s so genuine I’m filled with sorrow for him, though I can’t quite articulate why in my six-year-old mind.

    Later, I realize that my grandfather is the only person who could express such simple, genuine gratitude for eating leftover lard. He doesn’t know how to be ungrateful.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    The 272nd is rushed to the front in January of 1945, while the Allies try to hold the bulge in the lines and contain the German break. The Regiment crosses the English Channel during a blizzard. They land at Le Havre on D+189. The 3rd Bn Commander recorded their rush to the lines in his reports:

    The remark, “That truck ride,” will never refer to any but the one from Le Havre in open trucks.  “Standing room only” and “Destination unknown” are both understatements, although the application is sufficient.  If people scoff at your tale of standing on only one foot during an eight-hour ride at night in a blinding snowstorm while the convoy was lost, any doctor will admit it is possible if the near-corpse is frozen stiff.

    Leaving the Château de Vallalet, an 18th-century edifice that had seen rough usage under the Boche occupation, and the surrounding area of Romescamp and Gaillefontaine, the Battalion squeezed into boxcars that jerked along for days.  No fiendish torture device could have left the Battalion’s body in worse shape.  At last, the arrival was made at port, and the historic events of the present 3rd Battalion began with a muddy boot, a sloppy tent, and the foreign sounds of “Oui, oui” and “Cidre.”

    Those ‘foreign’ sounds would have been native to my Quebecois grandfather. I imagine him quietly speaking the pidgin French of his ancestors, and of his wife (née Messier), who used to switch to the French whenever she didn’t want the kids to know what she was saying. We were raised in an English-speaking household, but it frequently swore in French.

    By the time the 272nd reaches Belgium, the German offensive has spent itself. The Wehrmacht Army has run out of fuel, men, and momentum, in large part due to heroic losses sustained and inflicted by the Americans in thwarting the blitz. The defense at St. Vith, at Elsenborn Ridge, and famously portrayed at Bastogne, coupled with Patton’s impossible 90 degree right-wheel of his entire 8th Army, is enough to hold the Allied defenses. My grandfather’s unit now moves forward to confront Der Fuhrer’s Army as it pulls back to its defensive positions at the Siegfried Line. The 272nd, along with its sister units, will have to punch through it to finish off Hitler’s war machine.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    After I complete Officer Candidate School, I pass by my grandfather’s house just to say hi. I visit far less than I should and rationalize it a million ways, but the truth is that it’s because they are old – like, really old, and I am young. I don’t know how to talk to them. They want to reminisce about the child I was… while I am trying desperately to prove that I no longer am. I want to talk my upcoming commissioning as an Officer of Marines, Leader of Warriors…

    “My boy, whatever you do, you don’t volunteer for nothing, okay!?” My grandfather is serious. “I am telling you. Whatever you do, you don’t volunteer for anything, okay?”

    “I promise, Pep. Not me.” I make a solemn vow.

    “The only thing I ever volunteered for in the Army…boy, they got me, I tell you.” He jabs in the air with his pipe for emphasis. He shakes his head and I can see he is looking somewhere far away, somewhere I haven’t been…

    He looks toward the television set, but it’s turned off.

    “We came back from a long march and boy, I tell you, was it hot in Mississippi!? Whew! With our packs and rifles…” He shakes his head at the memory. “The drill sergeant got up in front of us and said, ‘Okay, is anyone here tired? Does anyone want to volunteer for a different job where you won’t have to carry your pack and rifle?’ My boy, I was so tired… and I’m a little guy!”

    My grandfather turns to me with his eyebrows raised. I laugh because at 5’9″, he’s three inches taller than I am, but I know what he means. He is still healthy at 80, but he slight-framed, always has been, unlike his own sons, who are tall, broad-shouldered, and thick of chest and limb.

    “Those packs and rifles and all the stuff they made us carry… it was so heavy!” It is the infantryman’s lament and I have had a nice heaping spoonful of it over the last weeks, but I shut my mouth out of respect. I know where he has been and where I haven’t.

    “So…so I looked around and I says, ‘Sure! Sure thing Drill Sergeant. I’ll do it!’” My grandfather stops staring, turns back and looks at me, genuine surprise in his eyes, like he still can’t believe this happened.

    “I stepped forward, and the Sergeant said, ‘Okay. Now you’re now a bazookaman. You carry the bazooka.’ And I knew he got me. Boy, he sure got me good.”

    I laugh out loud so hard that it comes out as a bark, myself having just returned from a summer at the hands of Marine Corps Drill Instructors. As I look into his eyes, however, I can see, my blessed grandfather is and was genuinely hurt by that. He was, and maybe still is, that trusting. He cannot believe his Drill Sergeant pulled one over on him like that.

    “So don’t you volunteer for nothing, my boy.” He says, pointing his pipe at me. It’s the final word on the matter. I enjoy his presence for a few minutes while he puffs and stares peacefully, the clouds of smoke with apple and spices float over, and I try to be as patient as a twenty year-old can be. I want badly to ask him about what that was like, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. The gap is too wide; the chasm too deep… I don’t know how.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    Nevertheless, a night in the woods isn’t housing, and nothing short of a steam radiator could have made the bivouac area among the Belgium firs a comfortable one. These were the most miserable of the bad nights spent. Foxholes were to be dug, but the spadework never passed the slit trench depth. The ground was frozen, and even all the ponchos and blankets that could be mustered were little help. Teeth still chattered between fits of sleep. Moreover, the puddle in the bottom of the hole got deeper and deeper. Nevertheless, it felt less damaging than the wind that blew overhead.

    One night, the darkness was so intense that men wandered away towards both the enemy and the rear. Pfc. Arnold of B Company walked 10 yards from his tent and spent the next 15 minutes trying to get back. Guard reliefs that night were unreliable, too. Even when the relief was to be called by the guard himself, there was no certainty that his tent could be located. Just before dark, S Sgt. Slaich carefully marked the path he was to walk to awaken the next guard, but two hours later, that path was invisible. After an hour’s fruitless search, with nothing to show but scratched hands and face, he returned to his post and the easiest choice – to take the next guard shift.

    “But those nights weren’t the worst,” Pfc. Nyland constantly repeats. “I remember a short jaunt of 13 miles we were to take through the woods one afternoon. Trucks were to pick us up at 2 o’clock. We were waiting beside the road long before that time rolled around. About 9 o’clock that night, the buggies finally arrived. It was raining harder than I’ve ever seen over here, and the wind blew it cold into our faces.”

    “After the duffle bags were thrown into the truck, we piled on – 25 of us with our packs on our backs. I sat on top of the cab, where I thought I could find plenty of room. But when the rain came down harder and it grew colder later that night, I regretted that move. To keep warm, I cursed everything connected with the Army, with Europe, and with winter warfare.” Those 13 miles took 12 hours to cover, and the rain never stopped as long as the ride went on. History of 1st Bn, 272nd Infantry Unit

    My grandfather carried a bazooka as a member of “King” Company in the 3rd Battalion, 272nd Infantry. I’ve stared at the picture that has his name underneath it and no matter how hard I try, I can’t tell who he is. The picture is black and white and the men are too far away to see more than dark slits for eyes. There’s a large building in the background with “Apotheke” on it – the German word, derived from the Greeks, for “Pharmacy.” The men are in neat rows, like every military picture ever taken or painted, row upon row, tallest in the back, shortest up front, and somewhere conspicuously out front or at the sides are the leaders… but this is an after picture, of that there can be no doubt. These men are different than the men who started in Le Havre…

    On moving into positions opposite the Siegfried Line, the Battalion climbed the muddiest, steepest and longest hills in our history.  The going was so rough that walking on knees was nothing unusual.  Even though there was a possibility that the shoulders were mined, everyone had to stop for occasional breaks on the way up.  The entire Battalion started off in regular formation, but within an hour each company was spread over at least 800 yards.  In another month, though, the troops were to wish that they could have gotten that much dispersion.

    At Kamberg, the Battalion received its first real baptism of fire, with no wish remaining for further communion.  The troops were told what to expect and what to look for by the group being relieved.  They gave constructive and helpful advice.  This in itself gave everyone a feeling of confidence; the men were getting first-hand information from the boys who knew.

    The first day there, a patrol of Lt’s Cox and Young, Sgt Johnson, Pfc’s Hagquist, Fulcher, and Schellman of King were pinned down by mortar and 88 fire.  Two days later, 2nd Lt Entzminger, leading his 1st Platoon patrol, was caught in the crossfire of two pillboxes.  The Lieutenant observed the enemy position 200 yards to his immediate front and, upon ordering his patrol to withdraw to safety, he remained in a forward, exposed position, calling for and adjusting artillery fire upon the enemy pillboxes.  Although subject to danger from friendly artillery as well as enemy small-arms fire, he remained in the position until after the supporting artillery barrage was lifted.  Immediately after the barrage, while shifting his position, he was mortally wounded by enemy small-arms fire.  Two others were wounded, and several men of the Platoon distinguished themselves by their efficient and courageous leadership.

    Immediately afterwards, 1st Lt Coppock was ordered to take out a Battle Patrol of four enlisted men to determine the strength of the enemy in the immediate front of his position from which artillery, Nebelwerfer and intense machine-gun fire were being received across the entire Regimental front.  Lt Coppock* pursued his task with such vigor and disregard for danger that, during the night, he succeeded in penetrating 1,200 yards from the Siegfried defenses into the enemy position.  Having collected the information he sought, he then led his patrol safely back with vital information necessary for military operations.  As a result of 1st Lt Coppock’s action and report, a decision was reached in higher headquarters that greatly accelerated the advance of our troops through this sector. –History of the 3rd Bn, 272nd Infantry Unit

    (*) Lt Coppock won the Silver Star for his actions, the 3rd highest award for valor in the U.S. military

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    Life in the military takes me away, as it does to everyone who makes it a career. We move our own young family all around the country and the world at the whims of the Marine Corps and my career. Holidays are a chance to reconnect, but with not a lot of leave on the books and a passel of kids to bring along, we rarely see my grandparents. I spend some time off of the Bosnian coast in 1995 during that unpleasantness. We hear the war, read it intel reports, study it, study the geography, plan routes, even rescue an Air Force pilot, but we don’t see the war… We don’t live it. At the time, the notoriety of the rescue and the relative dearth of conflict gives us what we think is “cred.” People chase “red ink” – combat time in pilot logbooks is logged in red ink – because we are fools.

    I talk to my grandmother about that 6 month deployment aboard ship. She’s lamenting the time away from my kids and then she makes a backhanded comment that pulls me up short.

    “I remember when your grandfather was away at the war…” She begins.

    “Oh? Really? What was it like?”

    “Ohh, he used to write me all the time… Such letters! Oh. Your pèpè, he would send me such romantic letters…” She exaggerates the word to the point of absurdity. I laugh.

    “How long was he gone for?” I ask.

    “Ohhh…psshh… I think about three years or something like that…?”

    Gulp. Holy shit.

    “Saving Private Ryan” comes out in July of 1998. I am in law school at the time with four children. By the time the Bar is over, and Naval Justice School completed, we have orders for Okinawa, Japan and are gone the day after I swear into the Bar. I finally see the movie at Marine Corps Air Station Iawakuni, Japan, while working on a case with a colleague and friend. I am as awed by it as every other American seems to be. It is an amazing movie and I vow to talk to my grandfather about his service after seeing it.

    When we return from Okinawa for Christmas of 2000, we visit my grandparents. I want them to meet our daughters, so we trek the whole carload up those same roads of my childhood. Except now the woods seem impossibly thin, the distances far shorter than I remember, the driveway and the big spruce in the front yard… are not very big.

    At some point my grandfather is standing by the door, talking to the parakeets in their cages, whistling to them while they chirp back. They know his voice and always respond when he talks to them. Outside the wind whips at the screen door.

    “Hey, Pep?” I am sitting in his chair.

    “Yes, m’boy?” He looks up from the birds and smiles.

    “You hear about that movie – ‘Saving Private Ryan?’” He squints at me and then seems to finally have heard my question.

    “Oh. Yeah… yeah, I did.” He stands up and puts his hands in his pockets, fumbling with some change and walks to the door.

    “Would you like to go see it… together… uh, with me?” He never turns around, and he talks at the door, but I can still hear his voice today, like he’s in my room right now.

    “Naaaahhh, my boy… I don’t wanna go see that… I… I seen all that already.” He turns back to me and smiles, but his eyes are pinched at the corners.

    The shame washes over me. What an arrogant thing to ask, to assume… I regret asking that question to this day.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *
     

    Third night at Kamberg was the busiest for the outpost.  At about 2130, the King (K) Patrol returned, bearing two casualties.  About midnight, the demolitions patrol of T Sgt Farley came by the OP (Operations Post) for last-minute instructions before jumping off on their attempt to blow up the pillboxes.  The patrol soon left and returned about 0300 with their mission accomplished.  The outpost had front-row seats for this exhibition, and can testify that those boys did a good job.

    In addition, Item Company is justly proud of its Aid Men.  Their deeds shine brightly through the darkness as memories take the place of battle life.  One day, as mortar shells were coming in pretty thick, Jenkins of Item was wounded.  Out there could be seen the figure of a man running swiftly and without hesitation – Mike DiCubellis.  A medic was needed, and mortar fire or not, Mike was going to where he was needed.  In just a moment he had reached the fallen Doughboy.  Working feverishly in a field where individual movement meant danger, the Medic never flinched, seemingly not realizing that death flew through the air with each burst.  After the engagement, he remarked, “Didn’t have time to dig in.  The guy was hurt bad; had to work fast.”

    The Communications Section must be praised especially for its fine job at Kamberg.  Although harried by mortar fire day and night, the lines between the rear and forward CPs and each line company were in service at all times.  The whole week at Kamberg was, as one man put it, a thin solution of night.  We were like owls, having eyes only for darkness.

    Leapfrogging nimbly over the last perimeter of the Siegfried line, the Battalion took Dahlem, our first town, in a walk – literally – and what a walk.  The troops were loaded down like a convoy of one-man bands. Mind you, at that time, it was mostly GI equipment, not boodle!

    Leaving Waldorf, the Battalion went on First Army Security Guard al the way to Stolberg and Aachen, big cities wrecked by American bombing.  This meant working with engineer guards with white SGs on their helmets.  This was the Battalion’s chance to get in on some of the luxuries of rear echelon – beer, movies, showers.  That good deal was over in five days, and the Battalion crossed the Rhine in trucks on the 28th of March.

    Arriving in the ancient town of Arzbach near the Lahn River late at night, the Battalion settled down for a few days with little action except intensive patrolling of the area.  For the next week, the Battalion moved by vehicle or foot from town to town, trying to catch up with the Krauts.  Leaving the town of Dehrn, which is memorable for the 100 slave workers who were living in a lice-infested seven-room house, the troops rode the TDs (Tank Destroyers) and other vehicles 100 miles to Lohne without incident.  The second day at Lohne, the order came for a march to Altenstadt and surrounding villages, a 10-mile jaunt with full field and boodle. Everyone soon swore off, “No more loot.”

    An early call the following morning started the Battalion on its unforgettable 28-mile march to Kassel, even though aching and blistered feet characterized the day.  The men made it, however, and pulled into Bettenhausen on the outskirts of Kassel.  Nevertheless, boodling that night took sheer guts.  The troops had not been so exhausted since the aftermath of forced marches at Camp Shelby.  –History 3rd Bn, 272nd Infantry Unit

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    My grandmother and grandfather’s wedding picture hangs on their wall, as it always has. When I was young, I once looked at the picture and asked my mother, “Who are those people?” I could not reconcile the young woman in the picture – blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and statuesque – 5’10” anyway, with the woman in the kitchen smoking Virginia Slims – imagine Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” with a flower print dress … but my grandfather is unmistakable in the picture. I know the look on his face – I recognize it instantly – because I’ve seen it reflected back at me in the mirror before; he is crazy in love with that woman next to him…my grandmother.

    Sixty-four years later they’re still together, but now the dementia or Alzheimer’s has left my Mèmè, the powerful matriarch, a shade of her former self. She has been in and out of the hospital and ultimately is back in the house at my grandfather’s insistence. The last time I was there, she had about 10 minutes where she recognized me and we were able to communicate, but now… now she has only one word. She rocks back and forth and calls my grandfather’s name: “Franny. Franny. Franny.”

    “I’m right here.” He pats her hand and smiles. She only stops when he touches her, or talks to her, or coos at her, like the birds. I realize in that moment it’s not what he says, it’s how soothing his voice is, how much love he outs into the sounds. It’s like baby-talk, but this isn’t cute or funny, or self-aware at all; it’s a man trying to convey over 60 years of love while he watches his wife dissipate before his eyes. Fifteen minutes is almost more than I can take, but it’s not her calling “Franny” that affects me: it’s being present. I feel like a voyeur. This is theirs and theirs alone.

    My grandfather and I talk about the Red Sox, our family history – his family history – and he mentions that he is the only one left. I’m not sure what he means.

    “Of my brothers and sisters… I’m the last one,” he says.

    “How many brothers and sisters did you have, Pep?”

    “There were twelve of us.”

    I can’t fathom any of that; not eleven siblings, not growing up in the Depression, not carrying a bazooka in World War 2, and not outliving all of my family at age 82.

    I just stand next to him and put my hand on his shoulder while he looks outside.

    My grandmother passes while I am in training to go to Afghanistan.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    The 272nd Infantry Regiment’s history is a surreal walk through war, told by the men who lived it. There is the time the 3rd Battalion gets shelled by German artillery after crossing the Werra River and takes shelter in the basement of a building… that turns out to hold cases and cases of wine and French champagne. Two men are killed and three wounded, but the 272nd pushes on to Eichenberg. “Love” Company takes the town and King mops up.

    They push on toward a town called Nieder-Gandern, but receive Tiger tank fire beginning in a town called Hebenhausen all the way to their objective. Even after they take Nieder-Gandern, the Tigers never stop their fire and four men are killed during the night and morning. A German night counter-attack is repulsed at close quarters.

    Early the next morning, the Battalion bypassed all the dead Krauts who had counterattacked during the night. King Company led over a circuitous route, through the woods and onto the road. One sniper was flushed out by the lead squad under S Sgt Smith, Sgt Jonassen and Pfc Tarkington, and in the second town, 21 men were captured and 10 wounded or killed. The light machine gun section of the 4th Platoon of King accounted for one man. Along the way, M Company caught a group of the Boches running up a hill. The HMGs (Heavy Machine Guns) gave ‘em the hot foot, and the Company proceeded unmolested, leaving behind over a dozen dead Krauts. That night was spent in almost forgotten comfort, complete with soft beds and electric lights in Heiligenstadt.

    Bad Kösen. Naumburg. Kottochau. The names of towns tick of as a checklist of objectives. The Regiment continues to pursue the Wehrmacht ever deeper into German territory. At Thiessen, the Regiment narrowly avoids walking into an ambush when a patrol discovers some wounded Germans from a nearby village, who explain that Thiessen is going to be a “last stand” for that unit. The Regiment hastily forms up and attacks the German 88mm dual purpose machine guns emplaced in the town. There are 36 of the anti-aircraft/anti-tank guns, which are considered among the best guns ever made, given their ability to take down allied aircraft or destroy allied tanks. The 272nd catches the German gunners by surprise and, along with some excellent gunnery from supporting artillery, it takes 249 enemy prisoners.

    Germany’s 5th largest city, Leipzig, is the next target on the Regiment’s checklist. It takes hand-to-hand combat, but the 272nd captures a German barracks, and over the course of a day and night of fighting, another 234 enemy soldiers are captured.

    The activities were climaxed the next morning when a feminine voice was heard rendering some smooth English. The voice belonged to a gal from Boston named the Countess de Maduit, the former Roberta Lorrie of Boston.  She could not believe the Yanks were there until a few cuss words cinched the fact.  The perfect portrait of an overjoyed woman, even though she bore the scars of an unforgettable past, she showed Love Company the concentration camp.  Tears rolled down the cheeks of the men as they were shown the sea of people subjected to the barbarous treatment.  The worst came when they saw what remained of a building the SS had burned to the ground.  To keep the record of the Krauts straight, they had crowded some 200 patients into it before igniting the fireworks.  The sight was not a pleasant one.  The troops realized that the enemy was all and more than anyone had ever imagined.

    It is not long after that the 272nd makes contact with the Soviets coming from the east. The German Army is vanquished.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    When the Red Sox come back from three games down against the Yankees and win the American League Pennant, I have to choke back tears. I am in Afghanistan at the time. The tears are not for me; baseball has never been my love the way it is for my grandfather. I break protocol and sneak a phone call; I can dial the number to my grandfather’s from memory. His 85th birthday is just weeks away and now, one year removed from another Yankees heartbreak that I thought might kill him. I know the Sox will beat the Cardinals. They have to.
    I hear his voice over the scratchy connection.

    “Hello?”

    “Pèpè? Hello? It’s me, Dale.”

    “Yes?” We step on each other’s voices because of the delay, but finally I can hear his recognition that it’s me. I start shouting like a fool.

    “They did it, Pep! They did the impossible!”

    “I KNOW IT, MY BOY!! I THINK THEY’RE GONNA DO IT THIS YEAR!” I can hear the joy in his voice. I look around to see that no one is there and I let the tears run freely down my face.

    He was born the year after they won their last World Series (1918) and he has watched eighty years or more of Red Sox tragedies, one piled upon another. He has borne it all with a patience that would make Job nod in approval. I’ve endured a good deal of it with him and never, not once, have I ever heard him swear. Not a single curse word. We watch Bucky Dent rip our hearts out in ’78 and all he does is throw his hands up, look at me in complete disbelief, and turn off the little black and white television set. He walks to the door and stares while he puffs away. I come to hate the Red Sox for the pain they inflict upon him…

    When they sweep the Cardinals in ’04, I almost don’t care if I die in Afghanistan. He finally got to see them win it all. Finally.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    By the time my wars have ended, the Red Sox win their second World Series and when I visit my grandfather, we discuss Mike Lowell for governor of Massachusetts, the ’04 win… we relive our favorite parts in glorious detail. His sad-sack Patriots are now officially a dynasty and even the Celtics are looking good. Neither of us can believe this new world we inhabit.

    He’s switched from a pipe to cigars, much to the chagrin of his children.

    “I’m worried about these cigars he’s smoking,” says a relative about my grandfather’s new habit, to which I riposte that he is now in his late 80’s, and entitled to pick up a heroin habit, as far as I’m concerned… it’s no one’s business.

    I happily indulge my Pepe with illicit Cohibas I’ve managed to get my hands on from a friend who is a ship’s captain in a country that doesn’t have an embargo on Cuban rum or cigars. I hate cigars, but we smoke them together in celebration. It’s the best smoke of my life.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    Under the experienced command of Lt Col Edward J. Thompson, the 3rd Battalion of the “Battle Axe Regiment” had proven itself well in combat.  Over hill, trails, and to the magnificent woods that spelled digging, smoky fires, makeshift shelters and excitement, the 3rd Battalion has caught in its wake of fire, memories that surround themselves with flesh and blood, with hope and sorrow, and with laughs and experience.  During that time, a Battalion changed from a carefree, bivouac-inured herd to a confident, battle-tried team of fighting men.  Only one medium can effect the change; only one process can bring about the metamorphosis.  That one process is war.  The actual struggle of meat and bone remains, as through the centuries, the unique method of shaping troops from the whims and idiosyncrasies of rear echelon to the positive qualities need to fight a battle.  The way has been hard; it could have been harder.  A spirited Battalion now exists that will function well under any conditions.

     

    *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *     *     *      *      *

     

    A little while after my grandfather’s return from Germany, he and Meme conceive their fourth child – my father. A true “Baby Boomer,” he is born in the shadow of that terrible war. Twenty-two years after his birth, I am born in the shadow of the Vietnam War.

    My grandfather lived quietly and simply, occasionally growing peppers and tomatoes in the garden out back. He loved purely, his blue eyes windows into the soul of a godly man. He helped build the nearby church, never missed a Mass while I was growing up, and yet I never heard him preach, judge, nor condemn a single person. I never heard him swear, nor lie, either.

    He was an exceptional man from what feels like a bygone era, when decency, and good manners, were considered essential traits of all citizens. It’s hard to fathom the changes he saw in his ninety-eight years, but no matter what the fashions or trends, from the Flappers to the Hippies, from Disco to Heavy Metal, his brand of kindness never went out of style. It was never old-fashioned and neither was he – just the purest font of light, with a whistle for the birds and a smile for your troubles.

    On Thursday, July 26, 2018, Francis Norman Saran, 98, passed away peacefully in his home, the one he built with his own hands. No palace of Versailles or manse for a Lord, it nevertheless sheltered generations of my family – his family – through stormy summers, hurricane season, and the bitter cold New England winters.

    He will be remembered and missed.

     

    _____________

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  • Thursday Morning Links

    Who TF cares anymore other than you, ESPN?

    At least one ranked basketball team from Kentucky can take down a small Indiana school at home. Well done, Louisville.  Also, Ohio State thumped Villanova. And Texas Tech won big as well. On the ice, your winners were Ottawa, NYI, Washington, Dallas, and Chicago. Justin Verlander won the AL Cy Young award with teammate Gerrit Cole coming in second and former teammate Charlie Morton coming in third. Jeez, you’d have had to have been stealing signs to hit that rotation.

    This man will be fucking peoples’ shit up again in 9 days.

    Colin Kaepernick worked out and ESPN is leading with it for some reason I’m sure is unrelated to their politics. And the NCAA finally ruled that Chase Young must sit for the Rutgers game but will be eligible to play against Penn State, TTUN, whoever they get in the Big Ten Championship Game and then the playoff semifinal and final.  Yes, I’m making an assumption or two there. It’s what I do and it’s what you expect from me.

    Steamboat inventor Robert Fulton was born on this day. As were impressionist painter Claude Monet, douchebag congressman Joseph McCarthy, TV idea man Sherwood Schwartz, satirist P.J. O’Rourke, jug-eared child of incest Prince Charles, former SoS Condi Rice, rapper Joseph “Run” Simmons, and hurler Curt Schilling.

    Welfare-queen douchebag.

    Right-o, on to…the links!

    Looks like fun size candy bars are the new “loosies”. Hey, he’s lucky they didn’t kill him for voluntarily exchanging in transactions with people for a product he obtained legally and paid the tax for. Jesus, that city’s cops get worse by the day.

    Diplomats reveal new details in first public impeachment hearings. By “details”, they mean second- and third-hand information, a bunch of opinion, and little of substance beyond revealing that their personal conversations with the Ukranian president revealed that he had no issues at all with any conversation with Trump.  The shitshow continues today, I think.

    Looks like Congress will get 8 years of Trump’s taxes unless the Supreme Court overrules the DC Circuit’s ruling. So the DC Circuit has ruled that Congress can demand and receive a private citizen’s private tax returns (he was a private citizen for those years) as part of congressional oversight. Gee, why wouldn’t private citizens be lining up to run for office now?

    Unnamed Monroe County, NY Supervisor working on legislation.

    A county in Upstate New York is considering going all-in on the bootlicking. Because nothing says “right to protest” like throwing people in prison for annoying a cop. Hey Monroe County: go fuck yourself.

    Man, what an asshole. Also, if your employees don’t have proper equipment and support to do their job, you’re gonna have some backlash. But still…what an asshole.

    Who the fuck is that guy? Somebody needs to cut him open and make sure it’s not Hillary in some form of Edgar suit.

    I guess this works here. Hope you enjoy.

    Now go have a great day, friends!

  • Have Recipes to Share for Thanksgiving?

    Yes, (American) Thanksgiving is fast approaching. For the past two years, we’ve solicited Thanksgiving recipes from the community, and there have been some terrific recipes submitted.

    To refresh your memory of what you may have previously shared, you can check out the two prior posts:

    2017

    2018

    Have a new recipe you’re trying? Want to be included this year?

    Email recipes to sp@ this website NO LATER THAN NOON GLIBTIME on Wednesday, November 20th. Remember to add your GlibName if you want proper credit.

    The post with all the submitted recipes (including the previous years’) will be published on Thursday, November 21 in the midday spot. Get to it!

    /SP begins compulsively checking her email

     

     

    (And, consider this an open post. Have fun, kids!)

  • Wednesday Afternoon Links

    Well, today was way cheaper than I expected. Wife’s car failed to start again, as it has done once every 3 weeks for the last 3-4 months. Her mechanic (who we already really liked for their reasonable prices and only doing what really needed doing) told her last time it happened to have it towed in without jumping it next time. So we did that. Mechanic said battery was the problem (several of TPTB and I think a few of you groundlings diagnosed it correctly). Battery was under warranty. With AAA towing and battery warranty, we got a brand new battery for free installed by the mechanic. $0. Didn’t even charge us a service fee for opening the hood and testing the battery.

    Apparently, the Trump Impeachment hearings happened. The tweeter feeds people have been sharing with me don’t quite match this article. I do like the new chat-style graphics. Verrrry millenial. Also, they make the whole thing look like the made-for-TV-movie it is.

    RBG misses court to have her embalming fluid changed. The Babylon Bee writers can have this one for free.

    Plague in China! I mean, yes it is pneumonic plague, but antibiotics and modern sanitary precautions pretty much handle it.

    Wow, my old stompin’ grounds of Pearland, TX are getting serious about Muscovy ducks. Do hate birds, the birds that hate next!

    The discharge of a firearm is generally illegal in Pearland city limits, but the city says “if a duck is destroyed where use of a firearm is permissible, the person doing so must use nontoxic shot or nontoxic bullets.”

    So my parents are actually on holiday in Cambodia, and this song has been stuck in my head since I talked to them about it Saturday night.

  • The Hat and The Hair Expanded Universe: Bernie and Sandy

     

    “Your breasts are a common good,” Bernie said, never breaking eye contact with her chest. It was two hours until their rally and he had insisted they come to the stage alone to discuss strategy.

    “OK, Boomer!” Sandy said brightly. She contorted her face and took a selfie, and then did it again and again.

    “I am not a boomer,” Bernie said, the left side of his face sagging. “I’m the greatest generation. The greatest. Just the best.”

    “Aw,” she cooed. “You’re so cute, like an old Granpa raisin.” She tried to smooth some of his hair into place but danced back as a trembling hand reached for her left breast.

    “Naughty,” she said and smiled, her large teeth sharp in the lighting of the stage.

    “‘From each according to her ability, to each according to his need,’” he said in a reedy voice and then licked his gummy lips.

    “OMG, is that Oprah? I could totes see Oprah, like, saying that,” Sandy squealed.

    “Marx,” he said roughly. “That’s Karl Marx.”

    “Is he on Instagram?”

    “He died in 1883.”

    “So he’s not on Instagram?”

    “This is, like, basic stuff,” Bernie said, his face drawing into itself as a wave of pain crossed his chest. “I thought you were a Democratic Socialist.”

    “Hashtag socialism,” Sandy chirped. “Hashtag social justice, and like, hashtag lifegoals.” She scratched idly at her crotch through the thick material of her dress and giggled to herself.

    “Do you even know what any of that means?” Bernie asked, massaging his left arm.

    “Socialism means that you, like, should be all nice to people and stuff,” she said, smelling her fingers and wrinkling her nose. “Rich people are so mean. Be nice, not mean.”

    “‘Be nice, not mean,’” he repeated.

    “That’s my 2024 slogan! Hashtag PresidentSandy!”

    Bernie closed his eyes and sighed.

    “Selfie!” she said, throwing an arm around the elderly man and snapping a picture.

    “My eyes!” he said. “The light!”

    “I didn’t use the flash,” Sandy said. She pried a wad of gum from her back teeth and stuck it to the back of one of the leather chairs on the stage.

    “I’m so happy your breasts are here to support my campaign,” Bernie said.

    “I’m, like, more than, like, just, you know, my breasts, Bernie,” Sandy said. “I also have an Instagram feed and my Twitter account is just, like, killer.” She held her phone out for the old man and scrolled through pictures of brunch and selfies with Illy and Sheedy.

    “I see you know a Negro,” Bernie said. “Very progressive. I knew a lot of Negros growing up in Brooklyn. Great people, just great. You know I grew up in Brooklyn, right?”

    “And I, like, grew up in The Bronx. We both have a lot of street smarts.”

    “A street-tough Jew like me should be President,” Bernie said.

    “Ew. You’re Jewish?” Sandy asked. “I thought you were just white.”

    “You got a problem with Jews? Huh? Do you?” Bernie asked, puffing out his aching chest.

    “Illy says Jews are ruining the country and Sheedy says they run Fox News. And that Fox News is bad.”

    “You need better friends, I think,” Bernie said gruffly.

    “Hashtag SquadGoals!” Sandy whooped.

    “Karl Marx was a Jew. Jews have always been at the forefront of the Socialist movement.” Bernie said. Red-faced and gasping, he sat down heavily into one of the chairs on the stage.

    “So Jews are nice?” Sandy asked doubtfully.

    “Very nice,” Bernie said in a strangled voice.

    “You seem nice,” Sandy said. “At least when you aren’t yelling.”

    Bernie slumped forward in his chair.

    “I said ‘At least when you aren’t yelling,’” Sandy repeated, louder, and kicked the side of his chair.

    “They shouldn’t have given us leather chairs,” Sandy said as his medical support team rushed the stage.

    “Cows are friends, not food,” she said over the whine of the defibrillator charge. “Or chairs.”

    “Moo,” she said over the shouting and scramble. “Moooooooo.”

     

    Sanders Couldn’t Stop Laughing at Report of Bezos Asking Bloomberg About Presidential Run