Glibertarians.com 2019 Archive

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  • As Seen on TV: Exo-Squad

    Exo-Squad was an American animated series that aired from 1993 to 1994. It, like the previously discussed Captain Power, was a show directed at children but did not pull any punches about the horrors of war.

    I’ll let the opening monologue speak for itself as to the plot of the show:

    J.T. Marsh (VO): It was a golden age for all mankind. Using the incredible exoskeletons called E-frames, we had successfully terraformed Venus and Mars, and were now poised to move on to the Outer Planets. Suddenly, it all ended. We were pressed into a nightmarish war on a scale previously unimagined. We were attacked by our own creations, the Neosapiens, a race of artificially created humans. Led by Phaeton, they had seized control of Venus, Earth, and Mars. This is Lt. J.T. Marsh, member of the Exofleet, leader of a small band of E-frame pilots dedicated to freeing humanity from Neosapien rule. We are… the Exosquad.

    That’s right, this show not only delved into the subject of war, but also slavery and genetic engineering.  The Neosapiens were genetically engineered to be slave labor on Mars and to survive under conditions human workers couldn’t. Fifty years prior to when the show takes place, the Neosapiens revolted. Humans were able to quell this slave uprising with the use of a new military weapon, the Exo-Frame, robotic mech suits that not only increased the wearer’s strength, but also allowed for the use of heavy artillery by individual soldiers. The two leaders of the slave revolt, Phaeton and Marsala, negotiated a surrender. Over the next 50 years, after public backlash from the terrors of that war, Neosapiens were freed from bondage, given citizenship and came to govern Mars for themselves.

    And of course, even though these 50 years were years of peace, the military kept expanding to the point where at the beginning of the show the Exo-Frames are much improved and integrated into an entire space fleet. Which now is looking for an enemy to fight, so they mobilize against the Space Pirates (One of the weakest things in the show, I mean Space Pirates? That’s pretty lame.) who are clans descended from convicts sentenced to manual labor on the outer worlds (Pluto and I think they have another one they’ve discovered). It is at this time that Phaeton chooses to seek his revenge (Neosapiens being a heartier breed live longer, dumb scientists) and bring about a new order controlled by his genetically superior elite.

    Now, this is just the prologue, the show’s plot proper hasn’t even begun at this point, but you can already see this wasn’t a ‘bad guy attacks, doesn’t land one shot then retreats to fight again’ type of cartoon show. And, this audience being who you are, I’m sure the heavy handed allusions of the story haven’t been lost on you.  Yes, this was a show for children. Yes, it was made to sell toys. But it was also a story where main characters died in battle, families were sent to concentration camps, a complicit media helped a dictator hide the atrocities and in the end the actions taken by the good guys weren’t always in the right and neither were the villains always in the wrong.

    Because of the shows willingness to take on heavy issues, it’s serialized story and the art style, Exo-Squad has been dubbed “The American Anime” by those who remember it.  But why do so few remember it? It was a fun show with badass toys, why was it not a global success? Well, Exo-Squad was a syndicated TV show, meaning any TV station that payed could show it. This was a big money maker in the 80s with successes such as GI Joe, He-Man and Transformers. But the landscape was changing just as Exo-Squad was debuting.  Networks were focusing on producing their own cartoon shows to get a greater profit share. This was the time-frame that brought us Fox Kids where the likes of X-Men and Spider-Man were featured, ABC and CBS as well had their own in house offerings.  Local markets were running out of places to put syndicated programming, which led to the show airing early in the morning. I remember when my local network moved it to 5:30 am! Now you know I don’t sleep, but that was early to wake up just catch a cartoon (but I usually did anyway). And it wouldn’t even stay in that time-slot, it would move around. It’s hard to build an audience when they don’t know where to find the show.

    So, alas Exo-Squad only ran for two seasons. It is fondly remembered by those who did catch it, and thankfully they were able complete this story arc. Season one was released on DVD in 2009 after a bunch of nerds (raises hand) signed an online petition. But apparently not enough people bought it as season 2 has never seen a release, but it has shown up on Netflix and Hulu, and some great people criminals were nice evil enough to record it from there, so digital copies are floating around if you’re interested a Space Pirate. If you want to know more about the history of the show, Toy Galaxy made a good episode on it.

    The show had a big impact on me. When I saw Avitar the only thing I liked about it was that it showed that technology had advanced enough in CGI that they could make a live action Exo-Squad movie. (And me being photoshop literate here is how I imagine it. I can see it all in my head, someone just give me the money! Can we KickStart this?! C’mon man! I’m really jonesin’ here! Just a taste, just a little taste! That’s all I want! I’ll suck yer dick for a movie, C’mon!!)

     

     

     

     

  • Friday Morning Links

    It’s cold here in Houston. Damn cold. 34 degrees is unacceptable.  Man, global warming is bullshit.

    Third place is better than fourth place.

    New Zealand have dispatched Wales in the RWC third-place game. Grand Final tomorrow around the same time (let’s go Springboks!). Not sure if that’s Saturday or Sunday. Thanks a lot, International Date Line. Baylor remained undefeated while App State fell off the list. And on the ice, your winners were Calgary and Montreal.  And in the NFL, the 49ers stayed undefeated thanks to Kliff Kingsbury’s “unorthodox” coaching moves for the Cardinals.  Yikes! That was some serious stupidity.

    “I WANT YOU” to buy a NWO t-shirt.

    Lou-, Lou-, Lou- Louis th-, th-, th-,  the Stammerer was born on this day. As were author Stephen Crane, sportswriter Grantland Rice, golf legend and one of the nicest guys in the world “The Black Knight” Gary Player, businessman and philanthropist Charles Koch, free speech and titties advocate Larry Flynt, Hebrew country legend “Kinky” Friedman, wrestling manager Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, electronics exec Tim Apple, and anti-vaxxer with a nice rack (at one time) Jenny McCarthy.

    A solid list there. Especially Gary Player.  May he live to be 150.  Anyway, on to…the links!

    Trust this crazy, malignant fuck at your own peril, Dems.

    The House of Representin’ has voted to move to “the next phase of the impeachment inquiry”. I guess the previous stages didn’t require a vote, since this is the first one.  I hope McCarthy sticks to his word and subpoenas Adam Schiff. That should be a TV-worthy shitshow.

    Trump changes residency to Florida citing “high taxes and poor treatment” as his reasons. Good for him, even though he’s a bit late to the party as scores of extremely wealthy New Yorkers have been doing so for years.  Of course, leftards are going batshit, but that’s not surprising.

    Chicago continues to be an unsafe shithole. Indiana to be blamed in 3…2…1…

    When “Don’t Tread On Me” is taken to the extreme. I don’t get people that keep these pets.  I never will.

    They need to drop the last four letters from the masthead.

    Deadspin is dying. Jeez, David Portnoy is gonna have a huge domestic staff now. (Context)

    You want a NHS-style health care system? This is what you get with a NHS-style health care system. Well, that and the Liverpool Pathway. And excessive wait times for basic services. And shitty care. And no innovation. And a host of other deplorable side effects.

    Yes, folks. We are ending the week with an absolutely fantastic song. I won’t accept any debate on it either.  It’s just wonderful.Now go have a great Friday and an even better weekend.

  • OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls

    I’d sooner be a Wildcat edition

    Standard Advice:  go with your first read!  Whenever, it seems, I’ve changed my mind on the line, the putt then breaks the original way . . . every stinking time.  And so it went for me after I recently opined:

     

    Oklahoma gets better every week, and the grind past Texas qualifies them to enjoy a well-earned last laugh . . . they were, they are the real deal in 2019 and so we must admit that the Sooners were not over-ranked after all.  I was dead wrong on this one.

     

    Well, when I said I was wrong:  I was wrong.  After several weeks in the top six, the newly schooner-less Sooners laid an egg in Manhattan and finally fell five spots in the AP.  K State walked away from them after an even first half; OU brought it back close, but the Wildcats were just working clock and enjoying the inevitable win while the network commenters tried to convince viewers otherwise; a failed onside kick almost gave Norman a chance and did give the guys in the replay booth at Conference a nice excuse to delay play a good seven minutes before the fat lady could sing.  Anyways, the Crimson were Creamed but will go on to a solid bowl.

     

     

    Personal note:  the 2000 KSU team had the quickest defense I’ve ever seen, and you simply couldn’t pass against Terence Newman.  Their fans travel well and have a fearsome, deafening, unending set of cheers.

     

     

     

    Meanwhile, master-class of the week in pointy ball was given by The University of the South at Columbus.  The Buckeyes applied the very best talent from Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Maryland to the would-be spoilers from Madison.  Save future injuries, LSU is the only defense that would seem to have a strong chance of stopping Ohio State.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Notre Dame is perennially overrated, and you might say that I beat that drum enough, but, earlier in the year, they lost to Georgia and then were still ranked above Georgia; it’s just ridiculous, predictable, and this nonsense is crippling the ability of Catholic children to develop logic skills.  Saturday #19 Michigan plowed them like so much snow and the AP accordingly downgraded them eight slots to finally be below both of their known betters.  The great Protestant conspiracy to keep these good kids down has finally won 2019, but don’t worry:  the ND nonsense will flare back up next summer.  Moving on:

     

    Week Nine Most OverRated Football Program Results

    1          Minnesota did make soup out of Maryland 52 – 10

    2          Appalachian State did ruin the Jags of South Alabama

    3          SMU survived red-shirt factory Houston’s sometime quarterback Tune

    4          Oregon edged Washington State at home

    So ZERO new toldjasos™ this week, but, speaking of Notre Dame, I never booked the original win on them at the time so I’m adding that to the list now and taking Oklahoma off my list of misses as well.  Otherwise, a very quiet week we had.  So what’s the longer view?

     

    Well, the Committee (motto:  We Meet in Grapevine!) has yet to convene or vote.  The question, like most years, is:  who’s number four?  Conference championships are a toss-up, but we have every reason to expect these teams in the mix:

     

    Big Ten           Ohio State, Penn State, or Minnesota

    SEC                  Alabama, LSU, or Florida

    ACC                 Clemson

     

     

     

     

    And these guys can pound sand:

    PAC64              Oregon is just too weak; expect a second team from the Big Ten or SEC instead

    Big XII             Oklahoma is only the best of the rest after losing to KSU

    Notre Dame    is not as good as Oregon

    AAC                  UCF is not a top twenty team

    MWest             Boise State is not a top twenty team

    MAC                 Ball State might be a top hundred team

    Okay, everyone knew all that before the season’s first snap (it’s rigged against the small schools!!!!11!!)  Back to our weekly idiocy:  who’s who and what’s what?

     

    Yet Another Week N + 1 Most OverRated Football Programs

    1          San Diego enters our list as most overrated team of the year but is off next week

    2          SMU will meet Memphis in an overrated (and televised) mouse tussle

    3          Appalachian State continues to dominate the JV and will host the Statesboro Blues

    4          Minnesota is trending up but will get stomped by Penn State

    5          Oregon is barely overrated but might have their hands full with USC

     Honorable mentions – I like LSU, but they’re not Numero Uno (Ohio State at a minimum is clearly better on offense).  Baylor is too big for its britches, and Cincinnati love is overheating, but I’ll give them a bit of rope for now.  The same guys who formerly believed in Oklahoma have switched horses to Kansas State.  Previously bagged Utah and Boise State are sliding back up in the competency vacuum.  Wake Forest shouldn’t be within ten slots of the AP at all, and yet they’re there.  This much never changes:  the AP 25 is lunacy, a doctoral thesis in mass hysteria begging to be written.  Now:  on to accounting.

     

    Year to Date Hides on the Wall

    1          Georgia lost at home to the second-best team from South Carolina that had lost to UNC

    2          Utah lost to an unrated USC but seems to be coming back

    2          Stanford was revealed by USC

    2          Syracuse was unranked after Maryland

    2          Michigan was blown out by Wisconsin

    2          Notre Dame sold off after losing to a highly ranked Georgia

    7          UCF was edged by an unranked Pitt

    7          Iowa was no number 15 as Michigan proved

    7          Wake Forest allowed Louisville to hang 62 on them

    7          Cal was dumped from the AP after losing to Arizona State

    11        Boise State lost by three to toothless BYU

    11        Iowa State was dethroned before their decent showing against Iowa

    11        Memphis lost to possibly 80th best team in the nation Temple and disappeared

    14        Michigan State slowly fell out of the ratings, so I was right after all

    14        Clemson was dethroned by Mack Brown retirement project UNC

    14        Texas lost to OU (mid-season toldjasos™) and has continued to suck

    14        Texas probably over-paid for losing to titan LSU (early-season toldjasos™), but then they let Kansas hang 48 on them at home

    18        Auburn over-paid for losing to Florida

    18        Texas A&M probably over-paid for quality losses against Clemson and Auburn . . . or maybe not

    20        Washington State was de-ranked after becoming lowly UCLA’s first win

    20        Virginia continues to lose after losing to can-play-with-UGA-but-not-Michigan Notre Dame

    22        Oklahoma lost to Kansas State . . . inexcusable

     

    Year to Date It-Would-Seem Blown Calls Because They’re Doing Okay Really Well

    1          LSU

    2          Florida seems to have earned their status by defeating top-ten Auburn

    3          Oklahoma is no longer a blown call because Kansas State

    4          UCF is now a skin on the wall after Pitt

    5          Michigan is no longer a blown call because Wisconsin

    6          Washington State is no longer a blown call because UCLA

    Our year now stands at 22–2-4.  So closes a tasty week!

     

    links to older opinions:                  2019-10-24                 2019-10-17                  2019-10-10                  2019-10-03                  2019-09-26                  2019-09-19                  2019-09-13                  2019-09-06
    Disclosure of sources of bias:  your correspondent has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.

     

  • Halloween Afternoon Links

    If you haven’t read SF’s Subaru House of Horror feature for today, go do that and come back. Someone else already got the first comment anyway. I love SF story time as a reader of Glibs, but a man could feel a little pressure following that act as a poster.

    Happy Halloween, to each and every one of you. The one night where you can go around dressed as your real self without being arrested. Well, many of you. Be careful where you go with the “chaps only” look on the bottom.

    I’m going to disagree with our President on this one. Now if he said “US history”, he’d still be wrong, but he’d have a case.

    Vampire bats are highly social creatures, and will share blood meals with hungry bats. Speaking of sharing blood meals… (t/w 2nd link is infowars, but its a fun link for Halloween)

    I wonder if these people understand their system would be illegal in a post-capitalist society with “free” healthcare. God bless ’em, though. They’re engaging in consensual exchange of goods and services for the betterment of each other and their community. I’m all for that.

     

  • Subaru Horror Theater, Vol. 10: Old Friends

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q1dZ92EbZ8

     

    One Week

    “Backyard,” I bark. “Backyard, backyard.” The gate bangs against the post again and again. I scratch at the door.

    “Banjo!” she says from the couch room. I bark again.

    “I’m coming,” she says. “Calm down.” She is still in sad-face and I am supposed to be on the couch with her. I want to be on the couch with her. I know she needs me. I chuff when I see her and bow with my front legs. I am hers and she is mine.

    “You have to go pee-pee again?” she asks, rubbing my head.

    “Out, out,” I whine. I wag my tail, love love love swishing back and forth.

    “Stay close,” she tells me. “I couldn’t bear anything happening to you too.”

    I run out into the yard and patrol the edge of the fence, head down sniffing sniffing sniffing. There is nothing new. I come to the unlatched gate and I open it with a paw. The scent is coming to me from across the fields. I run toward it, smelling constantly: Grass. Dirt. A chipmunk rotting away. Running, my paws digging into the soft earth. The scent. The scent is there. I have the scent. I know it like my own. I run harder.

    Gasoline. Cows. Cut grass. But I ignore them all for the scent. It is clear and bright, rich and complex. Love. It smells like love. The wind shifts a bit and a new scent mingles with it. A human. A man. Food. He has food. I stop and smell his food. I lap up some of his food. He says something. Not angry. He touches my head. I sniff him all over. The scent I want is there, under his scent. I am trying to pry the scents apart when the familiar car sound comes up behind me.

    It is her. I love her. I ran to her, wiggling all over. I barked “Hello” and “Hello” and “There is something here” and “There is something here.” She puts me in the car. She is angry with me. I can always tell. I watch her talk to the man. I whine. I growl. I bark.

    She opens the door and I catch the mingled scents again. I spin in the backseat in frustration.

    “I told you not to run off,” she says. She is shaking and crying. I lick the hot tears from her face. She laughs. The first laugh in a long time.

    “At least you made a new friend,” she says. As she drives away, I stare at the man and growl softly.

     

    One Month

    “Hey, there Banjo,” the man says, coming out of the barn. I had only snuffled part of his yard. I bristle. His clothes smell of smoke and detergent and fresh earth and coffee and cooked meat and dust and grease.

    “Got out, again, did you?” he asks. There is something wrong with him. Underneath all the human scents there is something metallic and sharp. Something like burning. I let him pet me and lick his hand. He tastes wrong. Makes my tongue hurt. He laughs and kneels down. Same taste on his arm and face. Wrong-taste.

    Crunch of gravel. She has found me again. Why can’t she understand?

    “I am so sorry,” she says as she gets out.

    “Oh, it’s no problem. We’re just becoming friends,” he says. I sneeze because they are talking about me.

    “C’mon, Banjo!’ she said. She pulls on my collar. I want another sniff of him. I want another taste. She wrestles me into the car

    “I am so sorry to hear of your troubles,” he says to her.

    She freezes. Fear smell flows out of her.

    “Th-th-ank you for that,” she says. She closes the car door and walks toward him. The window is barely open. I howl for her to get away from him.

    “Shush,” she commands. They talk. I keep my nose in the sliver of open window, trying to catch the wrong scent again. Grass and grease again, chickens and far-off sheep.

    She gets in the car. “I don’t know what I am going to do about you,” she says. I chuff and she smiles so I chuff again.

    The wind shifts as she drives away and a whole new scent floods my nose. It is new and old at the same time. I howl for her to go back to the farm. I need more. I howl and I howl.

     

    One Year

    New gate. New lock. I press my nose to a knothole in the fence to see if I can catch the scent. I dig under the fence all summer. The ground is hard. She fills in my hole twice. After a good long rain, I find I can get under the fence. I run as fast as I could. I will avoid him this time. I will find the scent. Almost there. I will find–BALL! HE THREW A BALL! BALL! BALL! BALL!

    I collapse on his porch panting. So much ball time. She is already there to pick me up. I have failed.

    “It’s been a year now,” he says.

    “A year,” she says. Sad face. I whine.

    “Sore subject,” he grunts. He turns the ball over and over in his hand.

    “There’s still…” she begins as he threw the ball.

    BALL!

     

    Five Years

    Behind the barn. It is behind the barn. He finds me digging and kicks me. I growl at him. When she touches the sore spot when we are on the couch, I yelp and she kisses me.

     

    Ten Years

    I have never forgotten. I cannot get out of the yard. I have never forgotten. I stare at his farm. I smell the wind.

    “You want to go see your friend?” she asks. I look up at her. She glows. My tail thumps on the floor.

    “Who wants to go for a ride?” she asks. My tail thumps harder. Sometimes that thing has a mind of its own. “Does Banjo want to go for a ride?”

    Go. Ride. I get up off my bed slowly and walk to wear the leash hangs.

    “Good boy, you are such a good boy,” she says.

    I do not know where we are going until she is almost at the farm. It has not changed. She lets me out. It hurts to get to the ground. The gravel hurts my feet. I start sniffing things.

    “Hi!” she says. He is sitting on the porch. I can barely see him. But I know his sour smell.

    They talk. I let him pet me. They talk. I whine.

    “You need to go potty?” she asks. “Go potty,” she says, “Go on.”

    They talk. I hear my name a few times but I do not turn back. I get to the edge of the barn and I pause to look back at them but they are not looking at me.

    The ground behind the barn is soft and wet, but the digging still hurts. But this was the place I smelled her last. This was where he kicked me. I keep digging. She isn’t deep.

    I can hear them talking as I get closer to the porch. I want to bark. I want to howl. I want to growl.

    “It’s been so long,” she says. “She would have started her senior year this August.”

    “Has it really been that long?” he asks. Through my good eye, I see him show his teeth.

    Up the porch steps, each one hurting. I cannot hear their words any longer. My blood is roaring in my ears. I bump my head into her leg and the blood noise stops.

    “What did you find, boy?” she asks.

    She screams when I drop the small skull of her daughter at her feet.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Our B-side is (marginally) better than your B-side!

    The Nationals won on the diamond last night in the only scheduled MLB game. Your hockey winners were Tampa, Edmonton, St Louis, Montreal, Florida and Vancouver.  And across the pond, ManUre knocked Chelski out of the League Cup and Liverpool did the same to Arsenal on penalties after an incredibly entertaining 5-5 draw. Although Klopp isn’t thrilled with the potential quarterfinal scheduling.

    “You, Angie, pick up that blood!”

    Dutch master Jan Vermeer was born on this day.  As were poet John Keats, Girl Scouts founder Juliette Gordon Low, Chinese leader Chang Kai-shek, habitual liar Dan Rather, actor Michael Landon, comedic actor and brother Brian Doyle-Murray, funny man John Candy, football coach Nick Saban, and human hobbit hybrid Peter Jackson.

    That’s a decent list. Now on to…the links!

    Trigger Warning!

    NYT looks for a “gotcha” moment. Gets punked by the person they were hoping would be outraged.

    WaPo is not a big fan of race-mixing when it comes to religious music. They hope they can keep those musical and religious negroes in their place.

    Trigger Warning II: Zuckerberg Boogaloo

    Facebook and Instagram take a step closer to going full retard. Didn’t anybody tell them you never go full retard?

     This is why you don’t try to cook while you’re traveling on a freaking train. Man, that’s incredibly sad.

    What an idiot. Lucky for him Ilhan Omar has an opening on her staff.

    The tuition “scandal” claims another victim. Meanwhile, people like de Blasio’s son continue to get into Ivies on their “merits”. Sure thing.

    And in the latest version of “gee, who couldn’t have seen this coming”, I present you with this little nugget from the middle east. Yeah, what a shock.

    A great song by a band with shitty politics. But that was most of that generation, so I can get past it.

    Anyway, have a great day, friends. Happy Halloween.

  • The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 22: The Gay Blade

    PATREON SHILL

    REDBUBBLE SHILL

    CAFEPRESS SHILL

    YOUTUBE SHILL

     

     

     

  • Wednesday Afternoon Links – Recurring Theme Edition

    See if you can spot the recurring theme…

    Why America needs a hate speech law

    When I was a journalist, I loved Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.’s assertion that the Constitution and the First Amendment are not just about protecting “free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought that we hate.”

    But as a government official traveling around the world championing the virtues of free speech, I came to see how our First Amendment standard is an outlier. Even the most sophisticated Arab diplomats that I dealt with did not understand why the First Amendment allows someone to burn a Koran. Why, they asked me, would you ever want to protect that?

    It’s a fair question. Yes, the First Amendment protects the “thought that we hate,” but it should not protect hateful speech that can cause violence by one group against another. In an age when everyone has a megaphone, that seems like a design flaw.

    Oh, fuck off.

    (And an additional “fuck off” for being behind a paywall.)

    John Legend to Remix ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside,’ Will Remove Problematic Elements and Promote Consent

    “Hold on, hold on,” he says, when this reporter looks skeptical about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” It turns out that Legend has updated the lyrics with Natasha Rothwell (Insecure) and recorded it with his fellow The Voice coach Kelly Clarkson. The song’s every bit as fun and swinging as the original, and its newfound sensitivity feels genuine, not performative.

    “What will my friends think…” sings Clarkson.

    “I think they should rejoice,” Legend responds.

    “…if I have one more drink?”

    “It’s your body, and your choice.”

    Oh, fuck off.

    Court rules Colorado man who lost home in SWAT team standoff with shoplifter is owed NO compensation

    A federal appeals court ruled that a home owner isn’t owed any compensation by police after a SWAT team blasted away at his Colorado house in a stand-off with an armed shoplifter and left the property a total loss.

    Leo Lech sued after police in the village of Greenwood fired gas munition and 40-millimeter rounds through the windows of his home in the June 2015 standoff with the shoplifter who had barricaded himself inside.

    Cops even went as far as driving an armored vehicle through the doors, tossed flash-bang grenades inside and detonated explosives in the walls of the property.

    A federal appeals court ruled Leo Lech isn’t owed any compensation by police after a SWAT team blasted away at his Colorado house (pictured) in a stand-off with an armed shoplifter and left the property a total loss

    Lech, who had estimated his losses at about $250,000 and filed a civil suit seeking compensation for the damages, was told he would get nothing by a three-judge panel for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 10th Circuit on Tuesday, reports the Washington Post.

    Oh, fuck off.

    Oh, fuck off.

    An Interview With the Mayor Who Banned Trick-or-Treating for Anyone Over 12

    Belleville, Illinois, has forbidden teenagers from trick-or-treating since 2008, with no plans to back down. Belleville, just across the Mississippi River from Saint Louis, is the county seat of St. Clair County and the most populated city in Southern Illinois. It is also the town where the company now called Jelly Belly Candy Co.—which helped popularize candy corn—was founded in 1869. Mark Eckert, the mayor of Belleville, signed an ordinance in 2008 that banned anyone older than 12 from trick-or-treating. More precisely, the ordinance forbids “seeking or obtaining gifts, food, candy or contributions of money, as is customarily and commonly known as ‘trick or treat’ in the celebration of Halloween day.” (An exception is made for older disabled children accompanied by caregivers.)

    Oh, fuck off. With a side of “Christ, what an asshole.”

    And a fine song to tell someone to “fuck off” to…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRh0tpnYwcg

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 137

     

    “Nothing is ever good enough for these fuckers, you know?” the hat asked the hair.

    “Hmm,” the hair replied.

    “Fucking Washington Post,” the hat said again, “Just can’t give credit where credit is due.”

    “Uh-huh,” the hair grunted.

    “Are you listening to me?” the hat asked.

    The hair stared over his glasses at the hat. “How can I not listen to you? Is there anywhere I can even get away from the sound of your voice?”

    “They’ve gone right back to the fake fraud bullshit impeachment lynching!” the hat barked.

    “The media hates Donald, what’s new?” the hair said, going back to reading his magazine.

    “We killed Baguetti! We killed the leader of ISIS!” the hat shouted.

    “Baghdadi,” the hair said as he snaked out a tendril and lapped up a blob of Rogaine. “Ugh,” he grunted, “This has gone cold.”

    “We killed him!” the hat said.

    “Can I just eat breakfast in peace?”

    “No. No, you can’t. The media is screwing us yet again and you are just sitting there!” the hat screamed. And then: “Is there anymore marmalade?”

    “You ate it all,” the hair told him.

    “All of it?”

    “Well, I didn’t eat any of it.”

    Donald looked up from his third Ham and Egg McMuffin. “Marmalade has rinds in it. That’s gross.”

    “They booed us at the baseball game,” the hat said, getting himself all worked up again.

    “They booed us at the baseball game,” the hair replied. “Donald and me. You weren’t even there.”

    “Someone had to watch Barron!’ the hat said defensively. “You know, what with his…”

    “Don’t say it!” the hair warned.

    “With his…”

    “DON’T. JUST DON’T!” the hair yelled.

    “What are you two talking about?” Donald demanded.

    “Nothing,” the hair said. “Just go back to your breakfast.”

    Donald grunted and unwrapped another Ham and Egg McMuffin. He opened the sandwich, plucked out the disc of ham and dropped the rest on the floor. “Ham,” he moaned, nibbling around the edges.

    “Ring for more marmalade,” the hat said.

    “You do it, Donald and I don’t even eat it,” the hair replied.

    “I just need a little more,” the hat whined. “I only have two zippers left.”

    “Choke ‘em down dry, like a dog dick,” the hair snapped.

    “Geez, OK, fine, whatever,” the hat said. He dropped off the desk and inchwormed his way across the floor.

    Donald nosily opened another McMuffin and dug out the ham.

    “Why do you do that, Donald? It’s so wasteful. They’d give you extra ham if you asked.”

    “If it was just ham, then it wouldn’t be a Ham and Egg McMuffin, then would it?” Donald replied.

    “Well,” the hair said, “Well, I guess it wouldn’t.”

    “For a smart guy, you aren’t always all that smart sometimes,” Donald said. He winged the disc of egg at the hat, receiving a disgusted cry when it hit home.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    It all ends tonight.

    Well the Astros blew it last night. But like I said yesterday, everybody wants a Game 7 anyway. Across the pond, the Carabao Cup games pretty much went according to plan. A couple of big boy matchups today. Let’s see what kind of team each of them put out there. And in hockey, the winners yesterday were Boston, Washington, Pittsburgh, Carolina, NYR, Detroit, Nashville, Dallas and Anaheim.

    Now a semi-famous writer

    Explorer (and exploiter, appropriator, genocidal maniac, and enslaver – WaPo) Christopher Columbus was born on this day. So were founding father John Adams, Admiral Bull Halsey, poet Ezra Pound, actor Henry Winkler, actor Harry Hamlin, soccer legend and cocaine aficionado Diego Maradona, and heir-apparent to the coming dictatorship Ivanka Trump.

    Actually a decent list today.  Now on to…the links!

    Preemption, bitch!  At least that’s how I would have stated it were I this judge.  But that can cut both ways down the road, so I hope these kinds of idiotic ordinances start getting struck down because they’re unconstitutional rather than on procedural grounds.

    Want to read some stupid ass shit? Here’s some stupid ass shit. But in a way they’re right: a lot of people would be happy to join a mob of bandits. They’d be even happier if they could safely outsource all the violent heavy lifting.

    Mmmmmmmm, tacos!

    Here’s a lesson on why you should never apologize. Actually, this company learned that lesson twice in one day. God, I hate griefers. I hate em with the fire of 100 suns.

    Somehow I doubt she’s being honest here. But I’ve doubted that about her all along.

    California continues its march toward the Middle Ages. What’s next, medieval diseases coming back that were eradic…oh yeah, that’s happened too.

    Apparently this is not ok.

    Covington Catholic II: Electric Boogaloo. Man, I’m not sure I want to live in a world where your fans can’t taunt opponents. But this may have gone a little over the line.

    Regardless of what happens with the baseball, this will be how I feel today. I hope some of you can say the same.

    Now go have a great day!