Thursday Afternoon Links: Cannibal edition

This has been a fine week for the Democratic Party cannibalizing itself. The old eat the young, the young eat the rich, Twitter eats Virginia from the top down. More, I say, more! Chaos is more lovely to me than any sunset.


“I was told there would be juiceboxes.”

Oh, Nancy. Your flesh is so stringy and tough. You’re like an erotic dried riverbed.

Pelosi Can’t Even Wait a Day Before Trashing AOC’s Green New Deal

Today, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled a congressional resolution calling for a Green New Deal, a sweeping, ambitious list of projects and goals that would help steer the world away from climate apocalypse and address inequality at the same time. Knowing this was coming, Nancy Pelosi gave an interview to Politico’s Playbook in which she trashed the idea

blah blah blah

Anyway, it’s super dope for the Speaker of the House to dismiss this as a “suggestion” and a “dream,” as we hurtle towards climate apocalypse, inequality grows, wages stagnate, and life expectancy shrinks. We love it!

There’s that mix of economic ignorance, hysteria and childish sarcasm that makes the Gawker Splinter brand so beloved.


There’s still some good meat on them bones. Keep pickin’! Really get in there.

The Green New Deal’s Huge Flaw

On Thursday, Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey unveiled just such a fix: the Green New Deal, a proposal that bills itself as a plan for the environment and the economy in equal measure. It is designed to steer America toward a low-carbon economy, fulfill the right to clean air and clean water, restore the American landscape, strengthen urban sustainability and resilience, and put a generation to work. With prominent endorsements from leading Democratic presidential candidates, Ocasio-Cortez has brought more attention to climate change in two months than her Democratic peers did in the past two years.

But the Green New Deal has a big blind spot: It doesn’t address the places Americans live. And our physical geography—where we sleep, work, shop, worship, and send our kids to play, and how we move between those places—is more foundational to a green, fair future than just about anything else. The proposal encapsulates the liberal delusion on climate change: that technology and spending can spare us the hard work of reform.

Hive cities, density, density, density. The way I prefer to live is the only way anyone should live. Slate is getting better and better at turning personality flaws into policy proposals. Or, as Ballard put it…

“The more arid and affectless life became in the high-rise, the greater the possibilities it offered. By its very efficiency, the high-rise took over the task of maintaining the social structure that supported them all. For the first time, it removed the need to suppress every kind of anti-social behavior and left them free to explore any deviant or wayward impulses. It was precisely in these areas where the most important and interesting aspects of their lives would take place. Secure within the shell of the high-rise, like passengers on board an automatically-piloted airliner, they were free to behave in any way they wished, explore the darkest corners they could find. In many ways, the high-rise was a model of all that technology had done to make possible the expression of a truly free psychopathology.”

― J.G. Ballard, High-Rise


Now here’s someone that knows the best meat is on the face.

Florida politician accused of licking faces has resigned

MADEIRA BEACH, Florida — Commissioner Nancy Oakley is being accused of sexually harassing a former city manager.

The Florida Commission on Ethics issued a report on its findings that Oakley possibly violated state law because she was “exhibiting inappropriate behavior” when she licked the city manager’s face at a fishing tournament in 2012.

The report said there was testimony from multiple witnesses saying Oakley also touched the then-city manager inappropriately, and that she was intoxicated.

The city manager didn’t report the incident out of fear of losing his job, the Commission on Ethics reports. He filed a formal complaint against Oakley in 2017 when she filed for re-election.

Upon election, she and another commissioner and the newly elected mayor suspended the city manager, who says they knew the ethics complaint against Oakley was pending.

According to the Miami Herald, Oakley resigned to avoid being fired.


Comments

626 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Links: Cannibal edition”

  1. Count Potato

    Are you sure she isn’t shaved?

    1. Mad Scientist

      She has a face like a catcher’s mitt.

      1. Count Potato

        Well, I think she’s pretty.

        (I was responding to the AOC alt-text.)

        1. She’s nowhere near cute enough to be as stupid as she clearly is.

          1. Lackadaisical

            She’s way over the hot -crazy line, and not in a good way.

          2. Brett L

            Bunny-boiler not unicorn.

    2. Chipwooder

      Sprawl costs us all, but it disproportionately racks up costs for poor people, nonwhite people, and women.

      How the fuck would this disproportionately hurt women?

      1. Chipwooder

        bah….wasn’t supposed to be a reply

      2. Mad Scientist

        The same way war hurts women the most.

      3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Restricting sprawl disproportionately impacts poor people, regardless of skin color or sex organs. (See: Portland, OR) Sprawl benefits lower-income workers and families by increasing the housing supply and thereby reducing cost, while allowing people to live outside expensive city centers and still have access to that job market (See: Houston, TX)

        1. robc

          Eliminating zoning benefits the most, which also leads to the opposite of sprawl, as mixed use neighborhoods are allowed again. SF would look like Manhattan and housing prices in the bay area would plummet.

          Not sure where the equilibrium would be, but it would be interesting.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Maybe. The suburbs continue to be the fastest growing part of the country. Most people do not want to live in sky rises without backyards and driveways. Houston has no zoning and they don’t look like Manhattan. But, you’re right that eliminating zoning would be the biggest boon to the poor

          2. Chipwooder

            And as their precious little millennials finally start having kids, they aren’t going to be nearly as enamored with their trendy downtown loft apartments, either.

          3. Tulip

            My work is building a new building, New location and they are talking about being near public transportation. In the focus groups we have been very vocal about not using it. As one woman said, “I have kids and a house, I’m not taking public transportation it takes too long and makes it too hard to take kids to activities.” I have told them that I’m not taking public transportation because it gets hot and humid and we’re expected to dress professionally. Sweat isn’t part of professional dress.

          4. robc

            Eliminate zoning, figure out a way to transfer infrastructure costs to the neighborhood level, and let the market settle the issue.

            The answer will be that people who can afford to live in the suburbs will live in the suburbs. Just as it has always been. It will be less people than now, as the infrastructure subsidies flow the wrong way (they shouldnt flow at all), at least for now, but the suburbs will continue to grow, just with a discontinuity in the function.

            Sort of like if you graph MLB attendance, there is a steady growing trend, with a big downward step between 1994 and 1995 (in took until 2006 to get back to 1994 levels).

          5. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            You must work in a field that requires some demographic projections, I gather.

            I agree on all points, except that I would expect more flow toward suburbs (not less). But, there’s no way to know until the government gets out of the central planning business.

          6. robc

            I have, but don’t anymore. Well, it still does, but not my job.

            This is just a personal interest of mine.

            This is nearly 4 years old, but it gives you an idea — see the map at the bottom.

            https://www.strongtowns.org/journal/2015/5/10/lafayette?rq=lafayette

          7. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Holy shit. I use to read this blog regularly.

          8. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Did you use to write for Strong Towns?

          9. robc

            Only in the comments.

          10. Gadfly

            … figure out a way to transfer infrastructure costs to the neighborhood level…

            Easy: establish more towns. In the DFW area most of the suburbs are actually little towns that got absorbed into the cityscape without being absorbed politically, so they still pay for their own infrastructure (excepting highways, of course, as the state/feds cover that). Interconnected independent towns already cooperate on infrastructure to a certain extent (such as buying water/sewer capacity from neighbors), so you could just carve up the existing infrastructure and give it to the new towns without much hassle if you were to subdivide a large city into several smaller towns in order to do things more locally.

          11. Raven Nation

            “Only in the comments.”

            The most important part of any website.

          12. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

            What Gadfly* said.

            Carve up SF, and it’s still “the Bay area”. People would be fine living in Hymie Bay Town as they would San Francisco.

            Of course, if you filter out the teases, you’d then be living in FUCK CITY.

            *yo, fellow Metroplexer-ite!

          13. prolefeed

            Houston is about as close to eliminating zoning as you’re likely to get, and the result is a huge sprawling city, with a dense city center for people willing to pay for that lifestyle, and a ring of suburbs for people who want more space. You give people freedom to choose, and every possible kind of housing gets built.

          14. Rasilio

            The problem with that is suburbs cannot pay for their infrastructure without massive increases in property taxes. If you actually made the suburban homes pay enough taxes to cover the infrastructure costs they create far fewer people would choose to live in them. Part of the reason they are so strongly favored now is that they are heavily subsidezed usually by a ponzi scheme.

            I’m not talking about government waste here either. If you had a suburb where water and sewer, roads, schools, police, fire, trash removal and so on were provided as efficiently as a private market could ever hope to provide them you would still be looking at your average suburban home having to pay somewhere between 10 – 15% property taxes every year

          15. robc

            ^^This^^

            Or the alternative would be septic tanks and well water.

            And narrower roads.

          16. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            What subsidies are you referring to? Also, most suburbs contract out their garbage collection to the private sector and water/sewer is an enterprise unit of government, meaning that they operate like a business.

            I’m just trying to understand what is being referenced here. From what I’ve seen cities are far more subsidized than suburbs today.

          17. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            For disclosure: I do not live in a suburb, so I’m not emotionally attached to this topic. I just don’t grasp the argument being made here, because I’ve seen the opposite in my line of work.

          18. A Leap at the Wheel

            I would love to see a comparison of suburb vs urban subsidies. I can’t fathom a world in which the suburbs receive more, not less, subsidization in any meaningful way.

          19. robc

            https://www.strongtowns.org/journal/2019/1/22/paved-with-good-intentions

            Here is an article from a few weeks back about a project in Spokane.

            I think it qualifies as subsidization.

            You can find my comments — I get “insulted twice”, one he called me a neoliberal and the 2nd time a randian.

          20. robc

            I would love to see a comparison of suburb vs urban subsidies. I can’t fathom a world in which the suburbs receive more, not less, subsidization in any meaningful way.

            See the Lafayette article I linked above. The red is due to “costs”, so net subsidies are going from green to red.

            The big one is streets.

          21. If you had a suburb where water and sewer, roads, schools, police, fire, trash removal ….

            The gated community where I build homes takes care of roads, water, sewer, and trash, they have security, but would rely on local cops if ‘shit got real’ So schools and fire, also they have parks and a swimming pool and a lake they take care of, the HOA dues are nowhere near 10-15% of the homes values every year. I’d imagine they could easily add fire and schools and real cops for less than they pay the county in property taxes.

          22. Rasilio

            The suburban subsidy is typically in the form of artifically low tax rates achieved by ignoring the future costs of maintaining the infrastructure needed to support them.

            For example, the town gets a Federal or State grant to build a new water and sewer system so they build it, they then use the new capacity to allow new homes to be built so they can enhance the tax base. Problem is neither the existing or new homes are taxed high enough to cover more than the minimum operating expenses on all of the infrastructure. Those new homes now attract a lot of families necessitating the construction of a new school, well with no resources on hand the issue a bond and build a new school and cover it’s operating costs by allowing another suburb to be built. Now the new traffic from the 2 new suburbs means the main thoroughfare needs to be widened so they issue some new bonds to pay for the road and cover it’s operating costs by allowing a 3rd subdivision to be built. 30 years later a dozen new subdivisions have been built all having the single family homes people prefer but the town is struggling to pay off the last round of bonds they issued and they have been scripming on maintenance of the water and sewer system and now the whole thing is on the verge of breaking down.

            It is a replay of the same basic government ponzi scheme only this time the politicians are buying votes from homeowners by promising to keep property taxes low and deferring covering maintenance costs until the future that they promise to pay for with new growth. Only problem is while every new home is helping you cover the budget shortfall today it is only adding to the long term deferred costs because you aren’t taxing it enough. If they are lucky they beg the State or Feds for a new grant to help get caught up some but as the State and Federal budgets are becoming ever more strained that money is getting harder and harder to get and we are approaching the point where we will see large waves of municipal bankruptcies from this kind of behavior.

          23. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            “I get “insulted twice”, one he called me a neoliberal and the 2nd time a randian.”

            That’s just mean.

            I’ll take a look and take a deeper dive into the LaFayette piece, but I’m going to be honest, I really don’t see how (considering public transportation) suburbs receive more subsidies than cities. Not to mention special funding for parks that only go to major metros and the amount of federal dollars were spent to build projects and then tear down projects.

            I will read it with an open mind, though

          24. robc

            For disclosure: I do not live in a suburb, so I’m not emotionally attached to this topic.

            For disclosure: I do live in a suburb, so probably benefit from the subsidy, although trash is private and water/sewer is from a county co-op (we are outside the city) so it is probably relatively unsubsidized. Streets, once again, are probably the biggie.

          25. robc

            What Rasilio said.

            I could post another strong towns link backing him up, but have spammed you all enough.

          26. Jarflax

            I find your numbers either unbelievable or based on a special case. In my part of the world, other than a handful of very high value commercial building in the downtown area, the vast majority of the tax base is in the burbs, so I am skeptical of claims that the burbs are significantly underpaying for infrastructure. What infrastructure are you referencing?

            Interstates? While suburbanites drive into and out of town daily, that does not mean they get more use from those roads than the urbanites, whose food largely comes along those same roads.

            Sewer and water? I guess the argument here would be distance from/to treatment plant, but there is no requirement that such sources/destinations have to be in the city center (and they often are not), or even single point source/destinations.

            Fire? Police? Any analysis of those is going to be very specific to the city in question as there are many models of providing those services.

          27. A Leap at the Wheel

            >The suburban subsidy is typically in the form of artifically low tax rates achieved by ignoring the future costs of maintaining the infrastructure needed to support them.

            That’s 1) not a subsidy and 2) not unique to suburban areas.

            If you want to redefine words, you would be more clear if you would just use a different word.

          28. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            “The suburban subsidy is typically in the form of artifically low tax rates achieved by ignoring the future costs of maintaining the infrastructure needed to support them.”

            I’m sorry. I’m trying to be open minded here, but I look at water and sewer systems around the country on a regular basis and I don’t find this to be true at all. Most water/sewer systems (especially in suburbs) serve multiple communities and are not funded by tax revenues, but rather fees per service. Most bad water/sewer systems are in cities, too.

          29. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            NOTE: Water and sewer systems are almost never funded by taxes, but rather fees. When they are first set-up they are paid for by the developer who pays an “impact fee”. Further, water and sewer systems are rarely managed by government, but instead exist as quasi-governments (even when they are a blended component unit of the local government). And federal and state grants are almost only ever given if there is an environmental issue with your water and sewer system usually in conjunction with a “consent decree”.

          30. Gadfly

            Sewer and water? I guess the argument here would be distance from/to treatment plant, but there is no requirement that such sources/destinations have to be in the city center (and they often are not), or even single point source/destinations.

            I will add that water and sewer plants are most definitely not near the center (sewer plants usually far from it, for obvious reasons), but they usually are at a single source because it is actually cheaper to lay dozens and dozens of miles of pipe than it is to build a new treatment plant.

          31. Or the alternative would be septic tanks and well water.

            *shrugs*

            *finishes pulling low flow plug out of new shower fixture so that it will work with the lower well pressure*

      4. Gadfly

        How the fuck would this disproportionately hurt women?

        Do they not segregate and red-line the sexes where you live?

      5. Rebel Scum

        Same as war. You know, like HRC said, “women lose their husbands, brothers and sons.”

    3. SugarFree

      Shaving is patriarchal.

      1. Count Potato

        Not according to Gillette.

        1. SugarFree

          Look, OK… She hairy. She real hairy. Real OG feminism. Her thatch patch is the size of a bicycle seat.

          1. Count Potato

            I’m thinking Brazilian, because Puerto Ricans eat the butt.

            Regardless, thanks for keeping this thread on topic, and got going off on some gay shit about urban planning.

  2. Pan Zagloba

    Oh, Nancy. Your flesh is so stingy and tough. You’re like an erotic dried riverbed.

    And that’s when I realized SugarFree was doing the links.

    1. ..and when dinner looks like it ain’t happening now.

      1. AlexinCT

        Great diet plan?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          All the purging is hard on the teeth, though.

      2. Tundra

        Yeah, but this jerky tastes great!

      3. Pan Zagloba

        Mithradites VI, the king of Pontus, was said to have achieved immunity to poisons by ingesting small but increasing amounts over time. I have done the same since I saw snippets of SugarFree’s writing on H&R back in 2012 or so.

      4. Jarflax

        SF makes dinner more of an AC thing; there is an inflow and then a reversal

  3. leon

    Anyway, it’s super dope for the Speaker of the House to dismiss this as a “suggestion” and a “dream,” as we hurtle towards climate apocalypse, inequality grows, wages stagnate, and life expectancy shrinks. We love it!

    If you are so worried about Climate Apocalypse, you really shouldn’t care about inequality.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      shhhh…. she’s on a roll

    2. Tonio

      And Pelosi pointedly did not put AOC on the Select Committee on Climate Change, but three other frosh congresscritters did. Womp, womp.

      1. PBRstreetgang

        Man..don’t make me root for Pelosi.

        1. Tonio

          The struggle between those two is going to be public and epic.

        2. Pelosi is a lot of things but I have never thought of her as dumb.

          1. Cunning, but not intelligent.

          2. SugarFree

            Yes, perfectly adapted to her ecological niche, but dead in 6 weeks outside of her bio-area.

          3. R C Dean

            She’s been doing this longer than O-C has been alive.

      2. Mad Scientist

        Pelosi is in the pocket of big Historic Building.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      And if you are worried about inequality, you shouldn’t want to import a bunch of low wage workers.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Hive cities

    Yes, yes, move more of your population into densely packed areas…..

    /Zorg the Mighty

  5. Juvenile Bluster

    Houston narcotics officer connected to deadly raid suspended

    tl;dr: Remember that raid in Houston last month where two residents and a dog were killed and four police officers were shot and they didn’t find the heroin they were after? And then the Houston PD and the police union blamed it on people badmouthing police? Well one of the officers involved has now been suspended. Would bet the “confidential informant” they relied on never existed in the first place.

    1. Chipwooder

      Would bet the “confidential informant” they relied on never existed in the first place

      It’s not gambling when it’s a sure thing.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Wouldn’t surprise me if the CI did exist.

      Police:”Hey you, the guy with a drug habit so strong the police know you by first name, if you tell me that there are drugs in this house, I’ll give you $100.”
      Character from Chappelle Show: “Ok there are drugs in this house.”
      Judge: “That’s good enough for me. Here’s your warrant.”

      1. Tres Cool

        I think Tyrone Biggums is the name you’re after.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Thank you. Couldn’t for the life of me figure it or find it by searching around.

  6. Tonio

    The Virginia Capitol shitshow just keeps getting better and better:

    Va. Capitol Police sergeant placed on leave after antifa group posts allegation about him

    The activists on the blog post said [Va. Capitol Police sergeant] Stamm’s social media activity suggests he follows the Asatru Folk Assembly. The blog says Stamm is friends with people who claim to be associated with the group, which the Southern Poverty Law Center describes as a “hate group” blending Northern European paganism and ethnocentrism.

    1. Count Potato

      “the Southern Poverty Law Center describes as a “hate group””

      Which is anything with more than two people.

      1. Tonio

        FWIW

        In 2015, federal authorities in Richmond indicted three men from the area on charges that they were plotting to attack synagogues and black churches. Two of them were alleged to be of the Asatru faith, but denied having white supremacist sympathies. All three men were found guilty on conspiracy and weapons charges.

        So far, and starting with Northam, there is nobody to like here.

        1. Tonio

          …and that of course includes the Antifa punks and the SPLC.

      2. “What is…three white people on a bench!”

        1. Tonio

          A racist conspiracy?

        2. PBRstreetgang

          The walk-ons at a D1 basketball program?

          1. B.P.

            Awesome.

    2. Viking1865

      They’re not even claiming that he’s a member, only that he has “friends associated with the group.”

      The group is a religious group of people who worship the old Norse gods. They are “volkish” as opposed to “inclusionary.” Which seems to mean that they want people who are actually descended from the old Norse. Or something. I don’t know.

      Even for the SPLC, this is weak tea.

      1. Tonio

        Yeah, I had trouble with that, too. Also, I can’t remember what the NPR reporting on this was but I think it made a stronger claim for membership and left off the part about Antifa. That NPR piece was based on local NPR affiliate reporting.

      2. Rasilio

        Meh, I have known some Aasatru over the years, generally good people who are absolutely non racist but it would be wrong to say the religion does not have a problem with racism and white supremacy. There are absolutely Aasatru groups where every single member is part of a white supremacist militia and they do a lot of recruiting in prison

        1. Viking1865

          Yeah and you could say the same of Islam and terrorism.

          From what I can see, the Asatrue split off into volkish and inclusionary branches. The volkish seem to be people who have revived an ancestral religion and wish to practice it only with people who share the same genetic heritage. So basically, Thor is for white people not for other people.

          Last I checked, there were a whole fuckload of different shades of people practicing their old tribal religion among their own ethnic group without being labeled a hate group.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            I’m not an expert, but that’s my understanding as well, as long as you replace the word “fuckload” with “literally dozens.”

    3. Rebel Scum

      …antifa…Southern Poverty Law Center…

      Meh, but still amusing.

  7. Rufus the Monocled

    Does Markey have mush for brains? Who could possibly want to link their rep to that insane left-wing nut case?

    AOC: 15 000 people voted for her. She probably thinks Trump doesn’t have a mandate with 57 million.

    1. DenverJ

      110,318 votes

      1. CPRM

        So 318 living people and 110,000 dead people?

        1. Chafed

          LOL because I think you are right.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    The proposal encapsulates the liberal delusion on climate change: that technology and spending can spare us the hard work of reform.

    I was just reading that.

    I think he means “the hard work of hammering the human soul into mush, which can then be molded into the New Soviet Man.”

  9. Rufus the Monocled

    “Robert Reich

    @RBReich
    Anyone who has a billion dollars either exploited a monopoly that should have been broken up, got inside information unavailable to other investors, bribed some politicians, or inherited the money from their parents (who did one of the above).”

    Turd Reich has spoken.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Which one of those categories apply to Oprah, Michael Jordan or Jay-Z?

      1. robc

        Michael Jordan had a monopoly on basketball talent.

        Dean Smith was the trust buster as he is the only person to regularly hold him under 20 points.

        1. PBRstreetgang

          God I hated pre-shot clock era Dean Smith! Though, I guess I ought to thank him, as hastened the adoption of the shot clock.

          1. robc

            The funny thing is, it was probably a bad strategy. When you have more talent than your opponent, you want to maximize possessions (to a certain point) to minimize variance.

          2. robc

            its my sports to poker analogy.

            Basketball is limit poker. You want to find your edge and exploit it over and over. A small percentage advantage can lead to a big win.

            Continuing the analogy, for those who care, football == pot limit and soccer == no limit.

            Like all analogies, it has flaws.

        2. Drake

          The refs who used to actually call travelling and carries were partly to blame. Look up those rules if you’re only familiar with the modern NBA.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        They inherited athletic ability, musical ability, and/or hips from their parents.

        1. Drake

          Obviously should have been taxed at 90 %.

          1. kinnath

            95% Nineteen for me and one for you.

          2. C. Anacreon

            You sound like the Taxman.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Despicable little shit

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          I thought Sanders was, like, under 4ft!

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Like Amazon?

    4. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

      bribed some politicians

      So, Bob–you are admitting that elected officials control the money? ‘Cause, if bribing them can lead to being a billionaire, which is part of your argument…

      I may actually laugh when he dies. I especially will if he is picked up and tossed to his death.

    5. Mad Scientist

      I find this belief fascinating. If he really believes that anyone who has a billion dollars is corrupt, he’s saying it’s impossible to provide a service millions of people want and be on the up-and-up. He’s saying making that much money is de facto proof that you belong in prison. Projection, projection, projection. So, where’s his cut off? What amount can you earn without exploiting and bribing and trading insider information?

      1. CPRM

        What amount can you earn without exploiting and bribing and trading insider information?

        $15 an hour?

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    Damn it SF, I was trying to give up hate reading Splinter.

    South Carolina Burned $9 Billion Building a Useless, Big-Ass Hole in the Ground

    Seems to be pointing out government waste, not bad…

    Just keep all this in mind the next you hear someone screaming about how much the Green New Deal will cost.

    Um, are you sure this story is helping the green new deal cause?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      The New Green Deal looks at $9B in waste and says “hold muh beer”.

      1. Rebel Scum

        $90 trillion.

        1. R C Dean

          4 orders of magnitude.

          Like saying that $30,000 car will cost $300,000,000.

    2. SugarFree

      “We’ll do it right this time!”

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’d like to know what caused the delays.

      Besides which, big public-private partnerships are always a disaster.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Yeah, I’m thinking a lot of groups who use “green” as a descriptor had a hand in that.

      2. Tonio

        “big public-private partnerships are always a disaster”

        Not for the crony capitalists and politicians they aren’t.

    4. RBS

      There is a lot more to that story though. Fucked up all the way around.

  11. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/jeffreyatucker/status/1093594625946894339

    “The champions of the Green New Deal are the new Bolsheviks.”

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Eh, they look more like the people with a MSc in puppetry, six figures in debt, and talking about how this new “Occupy Wallstreet” is really going to change things. And by change things, they mean legislate more free stuff for themselves.

  12. Bobarian LMD

    The best spice for face meat is bath saltz.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    According to the Miami Herald, Oakley resigned to avoid being fired.

    Saved the pension?

    1. Kind of like Budd Dwyer.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Um, are you sure this story is helping the green new deal cause?

    “Look, that money is going to get wasted, one way or another. Let’s waste it on our preferred boondoggles.”

  15. Gadfly

    More, I say, more! Chaos is more lovely to me than any sunset.

    Is…is that the Hat speaking?

  16. A Leap at the Wheel

    Remember, the Green New Deal is nothing but a list of platitudes. Have you actually read it? Its right here.

    Its an intellectually bankrupt list of “ensurings” and “providings” with exactly 0 meat on the bone. It’s the perfect expression of the “Socialism is when government makes stuff free” movement.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Paraphrasing from twitter: The Green New Deal is the Fyre Festival of proposals.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        I don’t know what a Fyre Festival is. I assume it has something to do with Fyre Tuck, who’s the greatest of all of the Merry Men. If so, that sounds like bullshit.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Eh, I prefer my mental image of a bunch of overweight, balding gingers getting blitz in the wood on sacramental wine. They seem like more fun to hang out with.

          2. RBS

            Instead of the luxury villas and gourmet meals for which festival attendees paid thousands of dollars, they received prepackaged sandwiches and FEMA tents as their accommodations

            LOL.

          3. RBS

            That pretty much sums up Instagram.

    2. AlexinCT

      It’s an attempt to overthrow what a bunch of incompetent asshats unwilling to compete their way to the top see as the old order and replace it with their own. This shit is basically people that realize they have no chance to make the current system work more than marginally for them and hope to replace it with one they feel they can rise to the top with. Basically it is a bunch of people that think that nonsense and talk will let them rise above their mediocrity.

      1. TheArgonaut

        ^THIS^

        Never ascribe to dull-mindedness or naivety what can more likely be explained by good old-fashioned avarice and lust for power.

  17. Playa Manhattan

    The best meat is ass meat. Just ask the Donner Party.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Why would you eat donkey? its your only means of conveyance in that situation. Better to eat your neighbor.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Heavy on the twerk spice.

  18. robc

    Compare and contrast High-Rise with Oath of Fealty.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Too Libertarian……

      1. robc

        Which one?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Oof

  19. Rebel Scum

    Twitter eats Virginia

    I also like to eat the – oh, that says “Virginia”.

  20. AlexinCT

    In keeping with the subject, I BLAME TRUMP!

    1. Count Potato

      Sounds like she wasn’t feeding them enough.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Your flesh is so stingy and tough.

    Did you by any chance mean “Stringy” with an “r”?

    Asking for a friend,

    1. “It is like eating a mouthful of leather bees.”

    2. SugarFree

      I can’t type. Fixed.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Even if there were an electric car in the garage of every net-zero McMansion, sprawl’s regressive legacy would persist in the economy. Sprawl requires us to spend more time and more money to reach the places we need to go.

    The strongest demonstration of this is the fact that Americans’ jobs are far from where they live.

    And then Slate called for an end to single use zoning, and they all lived happily ever after.

    1. invisible finger

      When my brother lived half a mile from work, he got called in for emergencies way more than the owner of the company who had the same skill set because he lived 20 miles away.

      There’s something to be said for living close to work. And there’s something to be said against it.

    2. invisible finger

      “The strongest demonstration of this is the fact that Americans’ jobs are far from where they live.”

      I live farther away from work because the tax savings are way more than the increased transportation expense.

    3. “Sprawl” and “suburbs” aren’t the same thing.

      People who live in the ‘burbs are generally trading longer commutes for more space and less crime. I live in a small city now, and even if I could afford to live in the toney part of town I wouldn’t do it because I have zippy interest in an $800k townhouse cheek-to-jowl with the neighbors. As a family the things we need right now are a bigger house, more space, and a neighborhood we can turn our kid (hopefully kids) loose in without worrying about cars speeding through intersections or crackheads being crackheads.

      1. Rasilio

        So you’re saying you need to move over to my side of the bay 😉

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          Eastern shore Rasilio?

          1. Rasilio

            I know it is late for this but yeah, Kent Island about a mile and a half from the end of the bay bridge

          2. Certified Public Asshat

            That’s right, I have seen you say that before. I am down in Wicomico.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        I live in the exburbs. I also live a 7 minutes’ walk away from my office.

        1. Not Adahn

          Don’t you have to have an “urb” before you can have an “exurb?”

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Leave us our illusions.

  23. Rufus the Monocled

    “10-year national mobilizations”

    Well, she did say we have 12 years to live.

    Other than that, time frames and socialism are a recipe for pure evil.

    1. Tonio

      You first, Congresswoman. You first.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Turns out all along that the problem with 5 year plans was that they weren’t long enough.

      1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        We can just break it down into two five year plans.

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    The Green Deal paid in Red Blood.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    But the scale of housing demand at this moment is such that we could build them in car-centric suburbs, too, and provide a human density that would not just support transit but also reduce the need to travel as shops, jobs, and schools crop up within walking distance.

    ———–

    Where we live is no coincidence of preference. Federal policy has enforced inequities and disparities for both the environment and vulnerable people at a national scale. It’s never too late to address the most fundamental aspect of our carbon footprint: where we live. And building housing near jobs, transit, and other housing—rather than ultra-LEED-certified parking garages—is merely a political choice. No innovation required.

    Great. A wannabe egghead who has never actually sat through a city/county commission meeting and listened to the frenzied shrieking of a room filled with NIMBYs.

    The federal government is the problem.

    WRONG.

    1. invisible finger

      I love the end-around that basically says “Zoning is a great thing in cities but evil in the suburbs.”

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        It works nicely with the notion that “subsidies for suburbs (which effectively ended in the 50’s) are bad, but subsidies for cities are good”

        1. invisible finger

          I’m trying to think of actual subsidies for suburbs ever and I’m not able to come up with any. There’s a whole lot of pretend subsidies that are only subsidies if one thinks like a child. Usually “The Interstates!!!” is what they come up with, but those were funded with gasoline taxes which were paid for by people who drove on them which would mean they were mostly paid for by people living in the suburbs. Chicago couldn’t wait to tear down black neighborhoods, turn them into expressways, and erect housing projects – but nobody pretended they were subsidies until the housing project wet dreams of progs turned out to be abject failures.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            There were the GI Bill for home purchases and red-lining (which was not a government action, necessarily, but sort of was).

            “Chicago couldn’t wait to tear down black neighborhoods, turn them into expressways, and erect housing projects – but nobody pretended they were subsidies until the housing project wet dreams of progs turned out to be abject failures.”

            This is still true today. Cities have always treated their poor residents as disposable. And that’s why Chicago is witnessing a rapid loss of African American residents (and a stagnation in new Hispanic residents).

          2. invisible finger

            The GI Bill could have been used anywhere. You have to wonder WHY the recipients chose to predominantly use them in suburbs instead of on city lots. (And there was plenty of GI Bill housing built in Chatham, Hegewisch, etc.)

          3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            That’s true. I’m just trying to be charitable to the opposing argument.

          4. Tonio

            Well, not just interstates but roadz (etc) in general. They ignore that the goods and services consumed by everyone also use those roadz and pay gasoline (etc) taxes. But public transit is no way a subsidy.

          5. Viking1865

            Yep, and public transit gets gas tax money, because it doesn’t make enough money to operate.

            Suburban commuters pay gas taxes to cover the cost of their roads, plus a significant chunk of the average public transit budget.

            I’ve heard the argument that the suburbs are some government subsidized creation and in Libertopia we’d all live in urban environments. I am skeptical.

          6. Rhywun

            it doesn’t make enough money to operate

            Once the pubsec vultures figured out how to take it over and rape the shit out of it in order to fill their pockets, and at the same time politicize it for “the poor”, the jig was up.

            There is no rational reason why it needs subsidizing otherwise.

          7. robc

            Gas taxes dont cover the cost of roads.

          8. Jarflax

            Gas taxes dont cover the cost of roads.

            Fine, but roads exist and are paid for and for someone to be subsidizing the suburbs you are going to have to show that the central urban dwellers are shouldering the tax burden disproportionately, and I don’t think that the math will show that. Federal funds do not come from the urban poor. We can argue about which tax streams to include, but if you want to limit the discussion to taxes with money actually directly budgeted on roads that is kind of a cheat. The sales tax revenues (which fuel most State’s general funds), for example, may well come disproportionately from inside the cities, but when a welfare/disability/EBT client pays $1 in sales taxes that dollar is paid out of money that the suburban dweller paid in taxes to subsidize the urban population. It is disingenuous to then turn around and say x% of the sales tax funds are paid by the urban population and x%+ of those revenues are then spent in the suburbs.

          9. Mad Scientist

            Gas taxes dont cover the cost of roads.

            Because they spend the gas taxes on other shit? Or…?

          10. invisible finger

            The majority of suburban interstate mileage in suburban Chicago is toll road. So the suburban driver is paying a gas tax that goes to fund roads he isn’t driving on. He pays tolls that fund the roads he drives on.

            Public transit didn’t start in Chicago until the late 1960s thru early 1980. Prior to that everything was privately operated but the operators eventually went bankrupt because government regulated the fares. The was probably true in every major US city in that time frame. Governments created agencies to take over operations and made up for the revenue shortfalls by enacting additional gasoline taxes.

          11. Rhywun

            Yes, the process was even faster in NYC – the gummint took it over in 1940, after decades of legislated fares that couldn’t possibly cover costs – even before the pubsec unions got their hooks in.

    2. prolefeed

      “And building housing near jobs, transit, and other housing—rather than ultra-LEED-certified parking garages—is merely a political choice. No innovation required.”

      It’s only “merely” a political choice if you try to force people to build stuff that the consumers don’t want, which is in fact, the opposite of innovation.

      1. invisible finger

        “And building housing near jobs, transit, and other housing”

        Maybe the Robert Taylor Homes were torn down before Occluded-Cortex was born.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      These people are probably the first to tell you that the government doesn’t belong in the bedroom, but they’re happy to have it in every other room of the house, and they’re happy to tell you where you can put that bedroom in the first place.

    4. Rebel Scum

      The feds are the problem as far as mortgages and such. Earlier at work a couple of the younger guys in my dept. were talking and it somehow got to the 2008 housing bubble. They both agreed that the banks were the big bad guys taking advantage of people. As I recall the banks were doing things that were legal and ‘incentivised’ by the federal government. The generation before mine is probably worse than mine.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Houston has no zoning and they don’t look like Manhattan.

    Manhattan looks like Manhattan because it’s an island.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oh shit, is it going to tip over?

      1. Pan Zagloba

        All the smug keeps it firmly fixed.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        No, but it’ll be underwater if we don’t pass the GND.

    2. Drake

      And Hell on Earth.

    3. prolefeed

      The regulatory regimes in Houston and Manhattan are almost polar opposites, so even if you set geographic considerations aside, you shouldn’t expect similar outcomes.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Yup. There is a reason why proponents of concentrated cities so vociferously oppose eliminating zoning, because they know that such an action will not help their cause.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          This argument all boils down to Richard Florida (the “creative city”) versus Joel Kotkin (the “pro-sprawl demographer”). Florida made himself very rich by convincing cities that they should subsidize private enterprises to attract new residents, while Kotkin has remained obscure by arguing that government should not intervene in urban planning.

        2. prolefeed

          I own a tiny house of under 1,000 sq ft near San Francisco. I could sell that, buy an enormous mansion with every luxury upgrade on a half acre about 20 miles out from the Austin city center, and still have a bunch of money left over.

          Guess which area has the most onerous building regulations.

          1. Tundra

            The fuck are you waiting for??

          2. prolefeed

            The SF house is a rental that gives me the money to pay monthly bills, and is a decent hedge against inflation. We’ve been looking at houses like the mansion above, but we’d finance it by cashing in some of my mutual funds and selling my fiancee’s house in the burbs closer in.

          3. Tulip

            My house is small (under 1400 square feet). But I am close to work, shopping, etc and still has a small yard where my dog can play and I can grow flowers. Of course, I paid more than my sister in MN, and she has a 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house with a 3 car garage.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    I can’t type. Fixed.

    Considering the number of fumblefingered errors I make, it won’t be long until the shoe is on the other head.

  28. Count Potato

    “Revealed: 21 Savage ‘was driving recklessly and had a fully loaded Glock’ when he was pulled over after nearly crashing into marked cop car”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6679825/21-Savage-driving-recklessly-fully-loaded-Glock-pulled-over.html

    Because only the police and illegal immigrants should have guns?

    1. SugarFree

      He should claim asylum as a refugee from Britain’s tyrannical gun laws.

    2. Sean

      That story hurts my brain.

      Young Nudy, born Quantavious Thomas, was booked into the DeKalb jail on aggravated assault and gang charges allegedly stemming from an unspecified incident that occurred two years prior – and in which he previously had been cleared by the Atlanta police Department, according to his lawyer.

      A third car on the scene, which was operated by Kalil Smith, was reportedly found to contain an M4 rifle with a muzzle.

      Smith, who raps under the stage name SG Tip, was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and violation of street gang terrorism and prevention act.

      an M4 rifle with a muzzle!!!11!1

      1. SugarFree

        DeKalb? What kind of fucked up name is that?

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          It’s pronounced “De-cab” if that makes it any better

      2. Count Potato

        Not a gun with a muzzle!

        Anyway, if it actually was an M4 it have both a short barrel and shoot 3-round bursts, making it an NFA weapon.

  29. Count Potato

    “Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon make no mention of the blackface scandal on their shows as both hosts and a myriad of celebs including Billy Crystal, Judy Garland, Ted Danson and Joy Behar are revealed to have participated in the racist practice

    NAACP CEO Derrick Johnson said in a statement: ‘Black face in any manner is always racist and never okay’”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6679399/Jimmy-Kimmell-Jimmy-Fallon-Billy-Crystal-Judy-Garland-Ted-Danson-Joy-Behar-blackface.html

    1. tarran

      Jesus Christ on a crutch!?!

      So, here’s a question: The movie “White men can’t jump”. Is it racist? Probably. Is it harmful racism? I don’t think so.

      Disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie in question because the trailers left me with the impression that I would find it slightly less boring than watching paint dry and slightly more boring than watching house flies mate.

      1. prolefeed

        “watching house flies mate”

        You do realize you said that on a SugarFree set of links?

        /recoiling in horror

        1. SugarFree

          [rubs front legs in anticipation]

      2. SugarFree

        Q: Is Rosie Perez in this movie?

        A: Yes

        tl;dr don’t bother

        1. Bobarian LMD

          She was young and topless in the movie; based on how they looked then, I’d guess they would touch the floor now.

      3. Tundra

        The inclusion of Rosie Perez assured I would never watch that movie.

        1. robc

          It was mediocre at best, pulled down from ok by her.

      4. A Leap at the Wheel

        Other than not having no buddies, no cops, and being about basketball, its the greatest buddy cop movie since Tango and Cash.

        1. Tundra

          K-9 was superior to T&C in every way.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Holy shit, those both came out in the same year. I was too young to really appreciate the golden age of Hollywood.

          2. Turner and Hooch.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            This

          4. Tundra

            Also excellent, but GSDs are superior.

          5. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

            K-9 was superior to T&C in every way.

            Sweet Buddha…

            Have you ever been decked by a good friend without warning?

            ‘Cause, that’s literally what you did with that statement. Actual violence*.

            *per Jezebel’s collective “thought process”

          6. CPRM

            K-9 does not have Kurt Russel, does not compute with tennis shoes.

      5. mexican sharpshooter

        What’s really funny about that, is Wesley Snipes is like 5’8″. He can’t dunk either.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          I’ll give him a pass since Blade was so good. Plus, the crazy tax thing.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            You misspelled Passenger 57.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            Better Catchphrase: Always Bet On Black vs Some Motherfuckers Always Trying to Skate Uphill
            Advantage Passenger 57

            Better Aesthetic: 90’s leather trench coat vs Delta Airlines
            Advantage Blade

            Best Musical Performance By Supporting Actor: Bruce Payne was in Neil Young’s video for Over and Over vs The Guy Who Wrote Me and Bobby McGee and Banged Janis Joplin.
            Advantage Blade

            Sorry, that’s 2 to 1 for Blade. That’s science. You can’t argue with science.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            #2 Snipes wears a leather motorcycle jacket in Passenger 57. No Delta, but a beautiful tri hole L-1011 in a lovely fictional livery of Atlantic International.

            Reversed on appeal.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Also, young Elizabeth Hurley.

          5. A Leap at the Wheel

            I’m going to have to get really fucking drunk and gather some more data.

          6. Bob Boberson

            Drop Zone or GTFO

          7. Gustave Lytton

            Mmmm… Yancy Butler…

          8. A Leap at the Wheel

            Gustave, I see you are also a man of cultured taste.

            *Draws half of a fish in the dirt with his VHS copies of Witchblade*

          9. mexican sharpshooter

            I can’t believe you’re having a disagreement about Wesley Snipes movies.

            Clearly the correct answer is Demolition Man

          10. Mad Scientist

            Demolition Man is always the correct answer.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Comedians wearing blackface to make people laugh= probably OK

      Random dude wearing blackface= most likely not OK

      I honestly can’t believe so many people have blackface in their past. I have never seen anyone wear that in real life.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        What if they were just really good at it. Maybe you never noticed.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          *mind blown*

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Also, there are three ninja in the room with you right now. Don’t look around, because you won’t see them anyway.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            You’re scaring the shit out of me

          3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            And I just got a nun-chuck to the face

          4. Bob Boberson

            Now that’s a euphemism

        2. leon

          + 1 Rachel Dozeal

      2. Gadfly

        Comedians wearing blackface to make people laugh= probably OK

        Considering that this was the origin of blackface, I don’t think this is a sufficient standard. The dividing line really should be whether it’s part of mean-spirited mockery or not. Even if not, it’s still going to be transgressive.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Get out of here with your “nuance”!

    3. Rebel Scum

      ‘Black face in any manner is always racist and never okay’

      I guess I can’t do my honest, good-faith impression of Frederick Douglass. And I guess you can’t do your honest, good-faith impression of Jimmy Carter.

    4. What about White Chicks?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast”

      I’m dumbfounded at the sheer stupidity and piss-poor grammar.

      1. Bob Boberson

        And still there is more derp deeper down:

        “And more from Green New Deal. Again, this is not a joke: “Economic security for all who are unable or unwilling to work””

        Im enjoying the newfound brutal honesty of the left. Championing the “Unwilling to work”.

        1. Democratic Hitler

          Look, there are plenty of people who are WILLING to work, like young Bob over here. Why should fat, lazy slobs have to suffer when Bob could help carry the load for them? Think about it.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Lenny Pepperbottom #RIPDoc
          ‏@sabes84

          If we’re all guaranteed economic security, why would we need universities and trade schools?

          I suppose they’d tell you that not everyone will be “unwilling to work,” that many people will want to develop their talents and educations to contribute to the soviet system.

          Of course, when a sandwich shop can’t manage “pay what you like” because they’re mobbed by cheapskates and the homeless, how well do you expect welfare for those “unwilling to work” to work?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Let me be clear: in AOC’s future, I’m absolutely unwilling to work.

          2. Mad Scientist

            It’s because of kulaks like you that we have to have firing squads!

          3. dbleagle

            Iowahawk: “If you can mix a mai tai; you can redesign the laws of economics and physics.”

            Sometimes the man is a treasure.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Never mind her supposed economics degree, are we certain she graduated high school?

      1. Rebel Scum

        It was a minor in econ, I think. Can that be revoked?

        1. commodious spittoon

          I suppose she can always point to Paul Krugman being a respected, published economist who is nonetheless a purveyor of pig-ignorant ideas.

    3. Rebel Scum

      How about mandating all airplanes be powered by farting cows

      I don’t think methane burns hot enough. ///THATguy

  30. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    It would appear that urban planning evokes strong emotions around these parts. Much like pizza debates.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Both are round, greasy, and smell like old ham. I don’t think its a coincidence.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      You mean Casserole…….

    3. robc

      Fuck planning.

      Hail Eris!

      Just make people pay for their shit.

    4. Not Adahn

      I’ve slept with too many urban planners and professors of urban planning to be fond of urban planning.

  31. B.P.

    “It will be one of several or maybe many suggestions that we receive,” Pelosi said. “The green dream or whatever they call it…”

    *swings arms wildly, knocking over glass of merlot*

    “You know, green machine! Green acres! Mr. Green Jeans! Whatever those upstart twits who follow that one toothy girl around are always prattling on about.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good lord

      working collaboratively with farmers
      6 and ranchers in the United States to eliminate
      7 pollution and greenhouse gas emissions from
      8 the agricultural sector as much as is techno-
      9 logically feasible, including—
      10 (i) by supporting family farming;
      11 (ii) by investing in sustainable farm-
      12 ing and land use practices that increase
      13 soil health; and
      14 (iii) by building a more sustainable
      15 food system that ensures universal access
      16 to healthy food;

      1. Bob Boberson

        That’s a lot of words to say “bread lines”

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Everybody knows family farms don’t pollute.

          1. Bob Boberson

            As some one who worked on a family farm I find it funny that the progs pretend to be the champions of small farmers. Im reasonably certain that subsidies and regulation is what killed the small farmer but sure…..tell me more about sustainable Gaia loving family agriculture….

          2. Gustave Lytton

            And automation and increased capital requirements.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            Should be automation/mechanization

          4. Bob Boberson

            Initially sure. Where I grew up in the 80s there were still plenty of family farms in operation. Now there are 1 or 2 barely hanging on. There has to be more at work than the aftermath of the industrial revolution.

          5. Gustave Lytton

            It’s still going on. Technology has thoroughly infiltrated pretty much all aspects of farming. The machinery is better and more efficient, but at a price. You need scale to recoup those costs. You need deep pockets for that expansion, the equipment, and weathering downturns in market or yield. Coupled with farming kind of sucks unless you’re into it. Not to discount the impact of government policy, but I think there are other factors driving the changes.

      2. Rhywun

        Needs more buzzwords.

  32. Bob Boberson

    I’m in the Miami airport. I just head the term “woke” used unironically in a bar and now some asshole decided to serenade us all with the Bluetooth speaker he just bought. I…..am not a fan of people.

    1. Tundra

      NAP violated. Do what you need to do.

    2. l0b0t

      Is he at least being hep enough to hold it aloft in the manner of that dreamy Lloyd Dobler?

    3. Mad Scientist

      Explain that his choice of music is about to become problematic to people like him. Then, say, “Unless you enjoy being punched in the face, that is.”

      1. Bob Boberson

        In this case I’m pretty sure if I use the term “like him” I’ll be guilty of hate speech. Which is a real crime these days according to woke media.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      People are the worst.

    5. Brett L

      Smash the speaker and ask ask how the warranty works.

  33. Scruffy Nerfherder

    So much derp…

    “upgrading all existing buildings in the
    19 United States and building new buildings to
    20 achieve maximal energy efficiency, water effi-
    21 ciency, safety, affordability, comfort, and dura-
    22 bility, including through electrification;”

    We’re going upgrade every single building in the next ten years. Says someone who knows absolutely jack shit about construction and finance.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Soil Health? Electricification? what year is this? 1864?

        1. Tundra

          Every single day brings a quote from that movie. Is it the best ever made?

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            As they ride into the Sunset… in a waiting Cadillac, the best!!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Better than charging you phone with lumps of coal, duh!

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Not to mention wasting far more resources in retrofitting than future savings would bring.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Now I’m starting to wonder if Trump didn’t subsidize her election campaign, knowing if she won he’d be guaranteed re-election.

      2. Rhywun

        Look, those crony “green” outfits paying for her candidacy aren’t going to fund themselves.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, didn’t you see the word “affordable” in there?

    3. B.P.

      And it’s all going to be powered without carbon or nuclear. See also: everyone will have health care coverage at a savings of $2,500 per household.

      Also, I think “…achieve maximal…” in this case means thatched dirt hut.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Plus free college and no one has to work.

    4. AlmightyJB

      She is complete idiot.

      1. Bob Boberson

        Yeah, she’s the poster child for “looks can get you only so far”

        1. AlmightyJB

          I don’t think she’s going to last. She’s already making enemies in her own party and she doesn’t have the clout nor the political grit to stand on her own. She has no clue. She can get by being stupid, buy she needs mind who she takes on. Pelosi will chew her up and spit her out.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Truth

    5. CPRM

      achieve maximal energy

      We discovered Energon?

      1. Tundra

        Flubber.

        1. CPRM

          Ug. Maximals was what the good Transformers were called in Beast wars, Transformers get their energy from Energon. Gah! The old man didn’t even get my joke! *kicks pebble*

    6. Playa Manhattan

      The Bay Area can’t even keep up with modest population growth, but OK then. New buildings for everyone!

    7. Not an Economist

      You don’t think we can upgrade a building in about a second?

      (Approximately 300 million buildings in the US — 315 million seconds in 10 years)

  34. Count Potato

    “friendly reminder that you don’t get to celebrate lunar new year unless you’re literally from a country that does or if you are invited by someone who is from a country that does”

    https://twitter.com/kassy/status/1093235338686984192

    Yeah, well I’m from the moon. Let me turn that up for you.

    1. l0b0t

      I’m in NYC and Lunar New Year is a city holiday and I had a bunch of goodies left over from the last we passed through South Carolina; does that count?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck off Kassy, you’re a moron.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Fuck you, I’m ordering Panda Express.

    4. Rebel Scum

      I’ll celebrate what I please. Now kindly fuck off before we have a problem.

      *I don’t understand how these people support ‘multi-culturalism’ but not the intermingling of cultures. Then again, logical consistency is not really their thing.

    5. AlmightyJB

      She’s not the boss of me..

    6. Heroic Mulatto

      you don’t get to celebrate lunar new year unless you’re literally from a country that does

      So, pretty much every civilization known to man?

      Sounds legit.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Yeah, but those Mayans can gfo

    7. Tres Cool

      Misty of JNCOteague
      ‏ @30andQwerty
      Replying to @dankmtl @kassy

      you ever get so woke you loop back around to decrying race mixing?

  35. Scruffy Nerfherder

    LOL

    a Green New Deal must be developed
    5 through transparent and inclusive consultation, col-
    6 laboration, and partnership with frontline and vul-
    7 nerable communities, labor unions, worker coopera-
    8 tives, civil society groups, academia, and businesses;

    1. Bob Boberson

      It’s literally a buzzword salad…..but hey, her base will get to wistfully say “everything would be perfect if those Republicans hadn’t blocked out one chance at constructing a perfect society.”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        And the media is slobbering over it.

        Just when I thought I couldn’t have more disdain for them, they go and prove how much stupider they are than I thought.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        You know who else came to power spewing buzzword salads?

        1. Bob Boberson

          Every Marxist revolutionary?

          1. commodious spittoon

            <a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9yl9hPQROt8&quot; Pinochet did nothing wrong.

          2. commodious spittoon
        2. Pan Zagloba

          The answer was The Donald.

          I am no fan of AOC but “her supporters take her seriously but not literally, her opponents take her literally but not seriously” applies to her as much as to The Orange Man Bad.

          1. Not Adahn

            Remember when the narrative was “lol, lookit the rednecks OBSESSED with her. She’s not a major thing for democrats.”

      3. Rebel Scum

        Buzzwords and platitudes all the way down.

    2. B.P.

      I’m getting a toothache thinking about the shrill excitement that must’ve hovered above the collective of social work undergraduates that typed out all of this bilge.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It would be laughable if it weren’t so frightening. The morons who wrote this want to rule us. They want it far more than sane people want to participate in government.

        1. Bob Boberson

          An entire generation of do-gooders whom have never spent more than a nano-second considering there is anything other than a top-down approach

    3. Playa Manhattan

      “Inclusive” is code for “idiots get a say”

      1. Bob Boberson

        “Inclusive” is code for “idiots get a to say”

        FIFY

  36. Scruffy Nerfherder

    AOC is working overtime to make certain everyone knows Boston U is a shitty school.

    1. Tundra

      I’m sure their admissions office was pretty stoked when she was elected. Until she started talking.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        We can only hope they regret it.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Maybe she submitted the famous dancing video as part of the application?

    3. Playa Manhattan

      At this point, there isn’t even a need for opposition research. Just cite what’s already on the record.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Just want to point out: “Bread-line Baroness”…”Muff Mafia”…

      Band names.

      1. Jarflax

        Muff Mafia is good, but I prefer Kommie Kunt Kaucus

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Damn, now I wish I actually watched SotU. Pelosi was…captivating.

    3. Count Potato

      I thought it was going to be Razorfist, and I was not disappointed.

  37. AlmightyJB

    I posted ones for RBG and Kamela earlier. So sad to be that pathetic. Too expensive for target practice.

    https://shop.fctry.com/products/robert-mueller-action-figure

    1. Pan Zagloba

      I’ll admit, shit like this gives me hope. People monetizing stupidity is the second greatest driver of human progress, slightly ahead of getting laid and behind laziness.

    2. Bob Boberson

      So when will they make a sneering Trump doll that sprouts horns and a forked tongue when you push a button?

  38. These ladies are welcome on my high rise.

    http://archive.li/Xl5yL

    Tig ole’ bitties.

    1. Rebel Scum

      1, 7, 11, 19, 20

      And I’m spent.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Because I’m too lazy to look into it (not really but I’ll be boarding soon), is that a rocket gun? Smooth bore, special ammunition, I’m wondering if they are bringing back the ‘Nam era Gyrojet:

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyrojet

      1. The special ammunition seems mostly like a canard. Their claim is that standard ammo can produce 3.5″ groups at 100 yds, so it is mostly just another way around the NFA.

        1. Bob Boberson

          Hmmmm…..interesting but not particularly compelling

      2. Not Adahn

        nope, bullets with fins.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Kinda like sharks with laser beams?

          1. Not Adahn

            yeah, if after 50′ the sharks suddenly flipped around and go through the water sideways.

      1. Count Potato

        Pricey though.

        1. Rebel Scum

          I’m all about cheap inexpensive shit. ///basicbitch

          And I do have a Winchester ’94, but it ain’t that nice.

          1. AlmightyJB
          2. Fourscore

            The beauty of it is that its a left hand model. I could use that.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I knew a guy who had roughly 100 collector edition rifles like that. He was a bit of a hermit, and you had to be very loud when approaching his house.

        1. AlmightyJB

          When I was a kid I was visiting a great uncle and a guy down the street did these beautiful and elaborate flintlocks. That’s what first got me into guns. Was a very small shop but I guess he sold them to collectors around the world. This was back in the early 70’s.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      The ad before was for Blaze TV.

      When did Glenn Beck morph into Perry Mason?

    2. Pan Zagloba

      And after watching the whole thing, that is unarguably the one truly great work Paul Joseph Watson produced. He should switch careers.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Refusing to work or provide for your own existence and being paid for it is now a human right. This gives me hope, maybe this idiocy will collapse under its own weight sooner rather than later. At some point reason has to matter.

  39. Count Potato

    “VIDEO: At a packed meeting on Sunday, Muslim parents threatened to take their kids out of Parkfield Community School in Birmingham because of its promotion of homosexuality.”

    https://twitter.com/5Pillarsuk/status/1092446532492775426

    1. AlmightyJB

      I gotta say this amuses me.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      When Worlds Collide..

    3. Bob Boberson

      An intersectional paradox, as it were.

      /Twirls unironically mustache

      1. Bob Boberson

        Unironic you foul machine!

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Easily resolved. White Men colonized Muslims and taught them bigotry.

        1. You laugh, but some years back I was listening to a report on Radio Sweden about the homophobic lyrics of black Jamaican rap/reggae/etc. singers and the controversy over their performing in Sweden. It was hilarious listening to the Swedish homosexuals twist themselves into pretzels trying not to blame black people for being homophobic.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            I don’t laugh. I imbibe despair because I’m not Chad enough to keep a bottle of Glenlivet in the top drawer at the office.

    1. Rebel Scum

      I wonder if it is this same genius.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Full semi automatic!

    2. Wow, these people take their dress-em-up games pretty effin’ seriously.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Maybe it’s a distress signal.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Oh Jesus Christ! The Q-tards are going to have a field day with this!

        1. Rebel Scum

          Q-tards

          People who prefer tits to ass? ///jk

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Whoa! How about a trigger warning? 15 min prior to 15 min prior? I think I’m experiencing flashbacks.

  40. LJW

    A Consequence of the ‘Nonbinary’ Option: Insurance Companies Surprised by a State Regulation Prohibiting Them From Using Gender in Auto-Coverage Ratings

    Anyone with a basic understanding of insurance can see where this article is going. California hates women!

    1. Rebel Scum

      Draw an average between men and women and suddenly men pay less, but woman pay more.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      We are all gay, except for Harvey Weinstein?

    3. Count Potato

      “California’s Department of Insurance has decreed that auto insurance companies can no longer grant breaks in insurance rates to teen drivers”

      Since when are teenage girls good drivers?

    4. Mad Scientist

      It’s simple. When you jack up the girls’ rates, but really jack up the boys’ rates, you’re giving the girls a break.

    5. Count Potato

      “It was, at least in part, legislation by Senate President Pro Tem Toni Atkins granting motorists the option of listing their gender as male, female or nonbinary. As the bill wended its way through the Legislature, Atkins and other backers said it would be a blow for equality.

      “Mindful of all the people I know who are gender-nonconforming, and the families I know with transgender children, I wanted to make sure that California continued to be a leader in gender-identity equality,” Atkins said after Gov. Jerry Brown signed it into law in October.”

      This non-binary crap is getting out of hand. There are a few societies which arguably have three genders, the U.S.A. is not one of them. (Yes, I know American Samoa is a territory of the U.S.)

    6. AlmightyJB

      Finally someone brave enough to stand up to the matriarchy! #resist

    7. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Women keep get the short end of all this non-binary stuff. Feminists hate women, I guess

    8. Rhywun

      “Gender [is] beyond your control, […].”

      It is? I thought the whole point of this silliness was the opposite.

  41. commodious spittoon

    I am going to strangle the fucker sitting in my row. SIGH! SIGH! SIGH! SIGH SOME MORE, YOU FUCKING PRICK.

  42. Not Adahn

    Hank Green is (was?) a scientist that has unfortunately gone woke. Wanna know why MSG has a bad reputation? Racism.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      I thought Hank Green was the brother of that guy who wrote “The Fault in Our Stars” and they both host that YouTube show “Crash Course”

      1. Not Adahn

        He is. The guy reading the script is not the guy who run/writes Scishow.

    2. I thought it was because the Knicks and Rangers are shit.

      1. Rhywun

        Heh.

        At least the TV version also shows the Islanders and Sabres.

      2. Chipwooder

        🙁

  43. Spudalicious

    Yum. Trippel Karmeleit from Bosteels. Tasty beer.

  44. Concerned Christian father here, recently my 11 year old son downloaded the video game Fortnite after playing it at a friend’s house. While I didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a “default” and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he’s threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely Loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and now refuses to go to Bible study unless we “take the battle bus”. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?

    1. CLEANSE THE BRUTAL.

      ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      To help your son out, all I need is for you to supply me with what I need to provide him spiritual support: Your credit card number, three digits on the back and the expiration date, month and year. But, you gotta’ be quick, or he will burn in Hell for all eternity!

    3. Mojeaux

      As long as he’s not bathing in Drakkar Noir.

      1. Rhywun

        Way to show your age.

        1. Mojeaux

          EEEK! *covers up hurriedly*

          1. Rhywun

            *opens medicine cabinet, nudges bottle of CK One body spray behind the Right Guard*

            I had Drakkar Noir in college. I still like some old favorites but that is not one of them.

          2. Mojeaux

            I’m still using Oscar de la Renta and Amarige de Givenchy.

          3. Rhywun

            My favorite is Chanel Égoïste. Pour Monsieur – which is older than I am – is good too. Both expensive AF ?

          4. Tulip

            I still wear Salvador Dali or Poison perfume. The Dali comes in a bottle that looks like a nose and lips.

          5. Oh heavens, I remember this commercial airing incessantly during one of the US Opens (tennis) back in the 90s.

          6. Rhywun

            Wow, I don’t remember that commercial. It’s kind of annoying – and not at all representative of the fragrance IMHO. ’90 sounds about right – I think I adapted it from an ex of an ex.

          7. Tres Cool

            No love for Jean Nate ?

          8. Only kind of annoying?

      2. Sean

        My go to is still Liz Taylor’s Passion for men.

        *shrug*

    4. I’m sensing a new pornhub category

    5. Rebel Scum

      Sounds like a new take on “I am asking for a friend”.

    6. Hyperion

      “Please I am so concerned, what do I do?”

      Nothing. You’re good, he hasn’t started drinking all your beer yet.

  45. Rebel Scum

    John Adams rips Alexander Hamilton a new one

    Unfortunately, Hamilton’s (and H. Clay’s…and Lincoln’s…) vision prevailed in the long run.

    1. Check or gate check everything bigger than a backpack.

      /winning

      1. Oh, and allow the back half of the plane to board from the back galley.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          That doesn’t work when the ramper or gate agent knocks the wing or engine with the jet bridge.

          https://www.denverpost.com/2007/03/30/jet-bridge-hits-plane-at-dia/

  46. straffinrun

    Was it really a mystery what Bezos’ dick looked like?

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Is this a Zen koan?

      1. Jarflax

        What is the sound of a flat ass twerking?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Mu.

      2. straffinrun

        Think about while you’re raking my sand garden.

        1. Michael

          Be gentle with the little rocks.

        2. Count Potato

          Euphemism?

        3. Raphael

          PHRASING.

        4. I beg your pardon, I never promised you a sand garden.

    2. Rhywun

      It’s still a mystery to me; and I hope it stays that way.

    1. Michael

      That first $1.75 increase next year is going to sting like a motherfucker.

    2. straffinrun

      Hit that f***in music.

    3. Rhywun

      Senate Majority Leader Kimberly Lightford says she’s surprised to hear GOP lawmakers say they don’t want to help the working poor get off of public assistance rolls.

      Maybe the “working poor” shouldn’t be having children they can’t afford. Because that is the main reason they’re getting any “assistance”. And pushing policies that will turn them into the non-working poor isn’t going to help you ignorant slut.

      1. Raphael

        Whoa now, asking for personal responsibility in THE CURRENT YEAR? Now that’s just a bridge too far.

      2. straffinrun

        “After nine long years, we are now on the verge of Illinois workers getting the raise they deserve,” said Gov. J.B. Pritzker, who campaigned on the issue.

        Nobody got a raise for nine years? Oh, she meant the gun at the head type of raise.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, if you haven’t gotten a raise in nine years maybe it’s time to look for another job. Or stop being a fuck-up.

      3. Hyperion

        Yeah, but she’ll have them and their sure to also be non-productive offspring voting democrat for the next several generations.

      4. Michael

        One of the restaurants I used to frequent for lunch recently switched to a cashless model. This really bummed me out because my shriveled, black, libertarian heart actually bleeds profusely for the homeless, and when food establishments use this model I feel they’d be more honest by just sticking signs in the window that read “no homeless allowed”. (I’m not kidding about this either. I often wish there was more libertarian advocacy for the homeless, as this would be a powerful bulwark against omnipresent leftist dogma in this realm.) Anyway, the sign they did post explained that this model is better for the safety of customers and employees which is so transparently bullshit it’s laughable. The real reason they are moving to this is the the same as why self service kiosks are popping up in places – their shitty employees likely steal at any unsupervised opportunity and/or lack the mental faculties to count backwards to make accurate change. These are the same “working poor” that are allegedly worth fifteen bucks an hour now. Well fuck them. Touch screens, here we come.

        1. Whatever happened to “This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private”?

        2. Hyperion

          It is sort of shameful how we have basically outlawed being homeless here in the USA. It has to really suck to be homeless to start with, but then you have the pigs come along and terrorize you in your cardboard box under the bridge, and probably beat you up just for fun. Then you have democrats in their blue havens making it illegal to even give them food out of charity.

          In other countries, for example Brazil, the homeless are pretty much left alone and they construct themselves a favela city on the side of some hill. Of course, most of them then die in a mudslide later, but at least they had the dignity of not being homeless first.

          1. Raphael

            The majority of the homeless are just privileged white men anyways so who gives a damn about their “struggle”. Bad joke aside, I actually had to argue the fact that a homeless white dude has less “privilege” (opportunities) than Obama’s kids to a friend.

          2. CPRM

            Even if I gave a homeless person a free house, the government would take it away when they didn’t pay the property tax. That is the true face of evil.

          3. Rhywun

            Not to be flippant but most of the homeless I see in my corner of the “blue haven” city I live in are hardly capable of constructing anything as complicated as a favela. And they get by largely on the kindness of local shops offering them food and such. I don’t see tony suburbs taking care of them.

          4. Hyperion

            There are those also. They’re the ones you step over lying on the sidewalk and are not sure if they are dead or not. Probably drug addicts and mentally ill. Keep in mind also, the number of people so poor there that they could potentially be homeless is much greater than here and the extent of poverty also much greater.

          5. Hyperion

            There’s a couple who works an intersection about a mile down the road here. Those guys have been there for all of the 5 years I’ve lived in this area. They stay split up so that she is about a quarter mile down near the intersection from where he is at. I always notice that she has way more cars stop than what he does. So is it true that people have more sympathy for a homeless woman than a homeless man? I would say yes. And I’d also wager that would increase exponentially with how attractive she is.

          6. Akira

            So is it true that people have more sympathy for a homeless woman than a homeless man? I would say yes. And I’d also wager that would increase exponentially with how attractive she is.

            Nah, that can’t be right… I have it on good authority that women are disadvantaged in literally every single area of life and can never be in a situation preferable to that of a man.

          7. Hyperion

            That must be why one of them at work can get out of any situation by crying. Whereas I’d be told to ‘man up’ if I tried that shit. Also, why can they wear open toed shoes without socks and painted nails, when I’m not allowed to do that? Where’s my privilege?

  47. straffinrun

    Why is Virginia going after all these great black men?

    1. You know who else liked to chase black men?

      1. Milo Yiannopoulos?

      2. CPRM

        Bruce Jenner?

        1. Rhywun

          Damn. Slow clap for you and Ted.

      3. Tres Cool

        Jeffrey Dahmer ?

  48. straffinrun

    We getting a new post tonight? Finally got the day off and the wife and daughter aren’t going to be home for hours. What to do? What to do?

    1. Well, all that internet porn ain’t gonna download itself.

      1. Raphael

        It’s all pixellated here though. Such a damn shame.

    2. You could always try masturbating.

      1. DenverJ

        He said “hours”

    3. Hyperion

      There’s always the possibility that a Zardoz or STEVE SMITH post shows up later on.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      How much beer is in the fridge?

  49. Count Potato

    “When are marketing companies going to start doing false flag outrages…i.e. get on Twitter & pretend to cause a rucus just so their brand gets free press coverage for zero spend? Or is this already happening?”

    https://twitter.com/clairlemon/status/1093642829543297024

    It’s been happening since long before Twitter. Remember “they won’t run our advertisement”?

  50. Count Potato

    “Jeff Bezos
    Feb 7
    No thank you, Mr. Pecker”

    https://medium.com/@jeffreypbezos/no-thank-you-mr-pecker-146e3922310f

    Why isn’t he putting this on WaPo?

    1. Count Potato

      “I aspire to one day have “fuck you, publish my dick pics” money.”

      https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/1093647646693249024

    2. Michael

      To avoid the appearance of conflict of interest? I mean, it isn’t as if Medium is hosted on AWS or anything.

    3. Rhywun

      The Post is a complexifier for me

      That’s all I saw scrolling down before I bailed.

    4. CPRM

      It’s true. This man has no dick.

    5. Michael

      Alright, I give up. Which outrageously wealthy philanderer am I supposed to be cheering for or scowling at this week?

      1. All of them?

      2. What’s the point of becoming outrageously wealthy if you’re not going to sleep around?

    6. Heroic Mulatto

      complexifier

      When you are the world’s richest man, you get to make up any thing you want and it becomes a word.

    7. Jarflax

      The Duke of Wellington put this better, but I still approve of the sentiment. “Publish and be damned”

  51. This is totally doable! All we have to do is eliminate 95% of the world’s population and return to living in caves!

    https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/5729035/Green-New-Deal-FAQ.pdf

    1. LJW

      I have a leftist friend on derp book. He’s always posting various articles on leftist ideas. It’s almost like Ocasio Cortez took all of his posts and combined them into legislation.

    2. CPRM

      AOC is a follower of the Guidstones?

      1. Hyperion

        Kill off 7.5 billion people? Easy peasy!

    3. Not an Economist

      What I like is, even if we do everything they say, the environment may still be screwed because no one else in the world will follow us down the toilet. AOC will be happy.

      1. Raphael

        Don’t worry, shitty racist/sexist/homophobic/xenophobic MURICA is the role model of the world so anything we will do, other countrires will follow us in lockstep. China, India, developing 3rd world countries will all just give up their energy systems too.

        1. MikeS

          shitty racist/sexist/homophobic/xenophobic MURICA

          You forgot “shooty”.

          1. Raphael

            SMDH how terribly unwoke of me.

        2. Rhywun

          China, India, developing 3rd world countries will all just give up their energy systems too.

          I believe the Paris accord has this covered. See, we give them trillions in order to go green, which we can totally afford after spending some other trillions to go green ourselves. And they will totally spend those trillions on green stuff. It’s genius, really.

    4. Michael

      Giving her a degree in economics is like awarding a masters in evolutionary biology to Gwyneth Paltrow.

      1. Hyperion

        She has to be a GOP plant. The way they’ve convinced her she’s some sort of rock star and brilliant mind and have her all puffed up, cannot have been intentional by the democrats. They really cannot be that dumb, can they?

        1. CPRM

          But she knows how to use social media!!

          1. Mad Scientist

            When she wrote that 10 years ago she was, what 18?

          2. Rhywun

            Phew, I’m glad college set her straight.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            A fallen Jedi.

          4. Raphael

            I’m not too sure. I know this is anecdotal, but a good number of my IRL friends back in the States were the same. They were all about free market capitalism until the last couple of years and we’re all around Niemen Marixst’s age. They only talk about her these last couple of days.

          5. CPRM

            The really odd thing is how coherent those excerpts are. Maybe she’s someone that sounds better in writing?

          6. Raphael

            That is…quite possible, but damn if I know.

        2. Michael

          If by some utterly impossible chance this might true, I shudder to think what sort of heretofore unknown Svengali might be puling the strings behind the scenes for them. Identifying a moderate Dem incumbent running unopposed in a solidly blue district and taking them the fuck out with the dumbest bimbo you can find at your local coffee shop would be the most brilliant political machination in human history.

          1. Michael

            In fact, I’m left wondering if AOC may have fucked up a latte order for Roger Stone at some point.

          2. Michael

            Goddammit, now I have to watch that movie again. I haven’t seen it since it was in theaters.

          3. Not Adahn

            I don’t care about Tim Burton, but I love the hell out of his movies.

          4. CPRM

            add a slide guitar and that’s a country song.

        3. Hyperion

          I mean really, can anyone take this seriously? So she’s going to give everyone a guaranteed job after they’ve fucked up the economy so badly, there’s nothing left to do in any type of job? This shit is beyond parody.

          We have to destroy the economy in order to fix it!

          1. CPRM

            Not to mention, what do you do to people or businesses that refuse to do the updates? Do you seize their property? Put them in a gulag?

          2. Hyperion

            We need some muscle over here!

          3. Bob Boberson

            Both. Kulaks and wreckers, the lot of them.

          4. Hyperion

            Don’t forget the hoarders.

          5. Bob Boberson

            That’s a good read, not quite as entertaining as the bill itself, but pretty funny.

            For real though the GND should be a failing grade in a high school Government class. The fact that it’s a real bill put forward by the legislature shows how fucked we really are.

          6. Raphael

            Also the fact that there is no incentive to have a job since even people who are unwilling to work are guaranteed “economic security”. Pass me whatever she’s smokin’.

  52. Not an Economist

    Somebody leave something in Wyoming?

    1. CPRM

      It wasn’t me, but now I want it.

      1. LJW

        I bet you have a well in your basement and carry around a Bichon Frise too. Cue Goodbye Horses

        1. CPRM

          Do you want the hose?!

  53. Spudalicious

    Heh heh heh. The Green New Deal has already disappeared from Gulag Barbie’s official website.

    1. Hyperion

      There still trying to figure out how the tippy top will pay for it all. Or how to spin the lies better.

      1. Hyperion

        They’re

        1. Mad Scientist

          They’ve been trying to figure out how to spin the lies better since the first person who felt entitled to take his neighbor’s stuff.

          1. Hyperion

            Well, they’re not messing around with any little white lies any longer, they’re going straight for the whoppers.

            “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it” The dems got this shit.

          2. Bob Boberson

            Especially when people are so goddamn stupid as to buy this shit. In a truly educated society the GND would be universally scorned and AOC patted on the head and told to go back to being a pretty bartender.

      2. Akira

        tippy top

        You know what pisses me off more than anything? The fact that when I see some of the sentences spoken by Democrats, I almost immediately envision the outrage that would occur if a non-Democrat had said it. And thankfully, we have plenty of examples (e.g. videos of Obama saying that illegal immigration allows dangerous criminals to enter the country).

        Imagine the relentless mockery from the Left if Sarah Sanders had said “tippy tops” to refer to an upper percentage of income earners.

        1. Bob Boberson

          See the exchange between Nick Fury and Occluded Cortex….leftist response: OMG he dozent even know wut a marginal tax rate is!!!1!1

  54. Count Potato

    “University May Ban Valentines Under Sexual- Harassment Policy

    Schools shouldn’t have policies so broad that they threatens their students’ free-speech rights.

    The sexual-harassment policy at the University of New Orleans is so broad that it may effectively ban students from sending each other valentines.

    According to an article in The College Fix, the school’s policy bans a whole host of things as “sexual harassment,” such as “unwanted sexual advances” (which includes “touching”), “visual displays such as leering,” “gratuitous visual displays such as posters, photographs, cartoons, drawings, or gestures” (which I’d assume could easily include many episodes of South Park), “graphic sexual commentary about an individual’s body” (with, as The Fix puts it, “no requirement” that the person whose body it is “even know about it”), and — here’s where Valentine’s Day comes in — “sending suggestive or obscene letters, notes, or invitations.””

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/02/university-may-ban-valentines-under-sexual-harassment-policy/

    And I was going to set Kat a picture of my dick dressed as Murray Rothbard. Now what am supposed to do with this little bow tie?

    1. CPRM

      I don’t want to know about what you do with your cat.

      1. Count Potato

        Except I don’t have a cat.

        1. CPRM

          I don’t care if you spell it with a ‘k’, being ‘edgy’ doesn’t make it not bestiality.

          1. Count Potato

            What’s worse is that I typed “send” as “set”.

            And it’s not bestiality. It’s inter-species erotica.

        2. Spudalicious

          Sorry about the lack of pussy.

  55. Count Potato

    “An MSNBC guest argued that someone wearing blackface over 30 years ago is as bad as sexual assault — and that a person accused of sexual assault is a victim.

    Radio host Mark Thompson was discussing the three huge scandals that are currently plaguing the Democratic Party in Virginia — which are so bad that the governor and the two men in the line to succeed him are all under pressure to resign.

    Governor Ralph Northam and Attorney General Mark Herring are both under fire for wearing blackface in the 1980’s, while Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax has been accused of sexual assault.

    “If it boils down to Justin Fairfax having to resign and the two blackface people don’t, then those very same people will say, now wait a minute, that’s sort of a double standard,” Thompson said during the MSNBC panel.

    At this point, host Stephanie Ruhle pointed out that sexual assault is a crime — while blackface is not.
    “You have double victimization,” Thompson said. “You have [Fairfax’s accuser Vanessa Tyson] as an African-American woman being victimized. Then you have an African-American elected official with an enormous black vote in Virginia, he has to pay a price nobody else does.””

    Thompson argued that because Northam’s blackface photo was uncovered before Fairfax’s accuser stepped forward — that it somehow makes it more important than her sexual assault.

    “It would be different … but the original crime was blackface on the part of Northam,” Thompson said.

    “Which is awful, but it’s not a crime,” Ruhle said.

    “Well, it’s a crime to us as black people,” Thompson replied. He also argued that black men have a history of being falsely accused of rape so it some how makes him care less about his black female accuser.

    Thompson went on to argue that getting rid of the two white politicians and keeping the black accused sexual criminal is important because Virginia Democrats need the black vote.”

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/02/msnbc-guest-argues-blackface-is-the-same-as-sexual-assault-video/

    1. CPRM

      I heard a reading of the assault victim’s claims yesterday. It seems to be a case of ‘recovered’ memory. That is always suspect to me, sure there are cases, but it seems too convenient.

      1. Mad Scientist

        As soon as I hear “recovered memory” I lean hard towards “this is utter bullshit.”

        1. CPRM

          To be fair, it wasn’t from a shrink antagonizing her, according to her account it was hearing that he was Lt. Gov during Northam’s thing and might become Gov that ‘jogged’ her memory of the traumatic thing.

          1. Michael

            If that’s the case then I’m amazed that she didn’t remember her traumatic thing well before during the whole nationally televised local gubernatorial campaign thing.

          2. CPRM

            Meh, I never heard of him until now.

    2. Rhywun

      We really live in the best of times.

    3. Michael

      “If it boils down to Justin Fairfax having to resign and the two blackface people don’t, then those very same people will say, now wait a minute, that’s sort of a double standard,” Thompson said during the MSNBC panel.

      JFC, this is turning into a progressive grievance stack version of the Gong Show.

    4. AlmightyJB

      Sooooooooo petty.

    5. R C Dean

      “Then you have an African-American elected official with an enormous black . . .”

      *cringes*

      “vote”

      Whew.

  56. Heroic Mulatto

    1.7112245242814131137246833888127283909227054489352036 × 10^98

    Think about it.

    1. CPRM

      If it doesn’t spell boobs on my TI calculator I will be very upset with you.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        It’s even better.

        1. CPRM

          Nothing is better. That is the height of civilization.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Trust me. We have enough aspies on here that someone will eventually figure it out.

          2. CPRM

            #NotAllAspies give a shit about math.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Yes, but the ones that like to memorize the serial numbers of Maersk shipping containers stayed on TOS.

    2. Raphael

      The answer is 42.

      1. Spudalicious

        But what was the question?

        1. CPRM

          Who cares, mice are assholes.

    3. Count Potato

      That’s just the number of genders on tumblr.

    4. AlmightyJB

      AOCs budget proposal?

    5. Rhywun

      I’m thinking I need to know what the other 40-odd digits are first.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        It’s my favorite factorial.

        1. Rhywun

          Got it.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Nice.

        2. Count Potato

          69!

          1. BakedPenguin

            Yeah, just got it.

        3. CPRM

          Are you Gronk?

    6. Mad Scientist

      Wait a minute. I had something for this.

    7. Spudalicious
    8. DenverJ

      Anyone gonna share with us normies? I’m a bending unit, not a nerd.

    1. CPRM

      When you look like me you don’t make fun of people for how they look.

      1. Mad Scientist
        1. Rhywun

          Oooh another classic. Can you imagine a lefty writing that today?

          1. Mad Scientist

            After her 8th failed liposuction treatment, young Lena is sent to a colony where she can live out her days with others who look like her.

    2. Hyperion

      “I’d like to congratulate Micheal Strahan on her transition.”

      LOL

    3. Mad Scientist

      “We do not succeed alone.” == “I’m entitled to steal your shit.”

      1. Rhywun

        It Takes a Village II, Impoverishment Boogaloo

        1. CPRM

          You didn’t build that.

      2. Bob Boberson

        I can’t help but think back to a program girl i…..er…..dated let’s say….that told me libertarianism makes perfect sense for as an ideology of a white male.

        “You’d see it differently if you werent at the top of the food chain”

        1. Bob Boberson

          *prog*….. fucking phone

          1. Akira

            Well, progs behave like they’re programmed, so your typo actually produced a true statement.

          2. Raphael

            +1 NPC

        2. Well you probably did enjoy eating her.

  57. Stinky Wizzleteats

    I swear to God that Green New Deal is the funniest unintentionally funny document I’ve read in a long time. WWII level effort so we have net zero greenhouse emissions in ten years all with no nuclear power no less. Good fucking luck.

    1. Bob Boberson

      We’re literally legislating good feelz……Idiocracy has finally arrived.

      1. Jarflax

        If they pass the GND, the one good result will be the end of our slide toward Idiocracy. The GND would have us back on the hunter gatherer level in a year and a hunter gatherer lifestyle does not select for stupidity and sloth.

        1. Bob Boberson

          I was about to disagree and say it’s collapse would be the pretext for ending private property and all resources being nationalized but that’s pretty much what the GND is anyway.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Her economic illiteracy and general insanity make Maxine Waters look smart and reasonable. The woman’s nuts. What would the bill be on this plan…10 trillion? 20? More? It’s undoable.

        1. CPRM

          The woman’s nuts

          Finally you shitlords align with new gender paradigm.

          1. Rhywun

            +1 girl-dick

          2. CPRM

            Out of morbid curiosity, gun to your head, guy without a dick or chick with a dick?

          3. Rhywun

            Is the guy without a dick an actual guy?

          4. CPRM

            I would say both are, but I’m a shitlord.

          5. Rhywun

            Then I’d choose the guy without a dick*. I’m not into women, or men who think they’re women.

            *This has actually come up in the past. Guy I was into, just some kissing and stuff, asked me on the phone one day “what would you say if I didn’t have a dick?”. I was completely flummoxed. I think I failed some sort of “test”.

          6. CPRM

            so unwoke.

          7. CPRM

            So, just trying to understand (Not that you’re like my ‘I know a gay guy, that makes me super woke’, more in I’m actually curious (hey don’t get frisky)) But in a ‘we here at glibs talk honest’ kind of way. What is the breaking point? Do moobs become too big? Do they become too round? Is it facial features? I’ll answer these same question about myself if you want. I’m not trying to be an ass, I’m just someone that seeks information.

          8. Rhywun

            Imagine the kind of guys every heterosexual woman you know likes.

          9. CPRM

            So you’re saying not me…

          10. Rhywun

            It would be a lot easier if I was into chicks with dicks, actually. Way too many of the guys I like turn out to be… not into guys. Oh well.

          11. CPRM

            All the women I’m into seem to be ‘going through things’ So I guess we’re in the same boat. *drinks moar beer*

        2. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

          Her economic illiteracy and general insanity make Maxine Waters look smart and reasonable.

          Holy shit…that is one of the scariest true statements ever written.

          Sugar Free gave you that line, didn’t he?

          1. Chafed

            No way. It doesn’t make me vomit.

          2. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

            Well, you may just have an iron constitution–you ever consider that?

            Maxine Waters really should make you vomit. In rage, and fear.

        3. Bob Boberson

          But the MSMs preferred adjectives are “Bold” “ambitious” “unafraid”

          I might have to walk back what I predicted earlier. I figured in 5 years she’d be a run-of-the-mill corrupt Democrat but now I’m thinking she’s going to go down spectacularly. No star that dumb can burn for long

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            It is bold, ambitious, and unafraid, that’s the problem. If the media is pimping this they’re more far gone than even I thought.

          2. Mad Scientist

            No star that dumb can burn for long

            Hank Johnson is still in office.

  58. PieInTheSky

    We the trade deadline is past so that is that…

    Good morning Glibs

    1. PieInTheSky

      But the Lakers beat the Celtics so there is always that…

    2. CPRM

      Was The White Shadow shown in Soviet Transylvania? How did you get into the NBA?

      1. PieInTheSky

        Well basketball is played in Europe and NBA is the strongest league in basketball. It is not like I randomly got into baseball or lesser rugby which I assume you have to watch as a kid to get into.

        1. CPRM

          So you’re a few years older than the curtain falling, was basketball played there before?

          1. PieInTheSky

            I have no memory of before I was 7 but I suppose?

          2. CPRM

            I’m just trying to work this all out. Baseball comes Cricket, Football comes from Soccer, Basketball comes from a guy in Iowa (perhaps related to a game the Aztecs played if you’re loose with things) I’m just wondering how Basketball became a sport Eruos played, when it is unrelated to any game there before.

          3. PieInTheSky

            Well I think it is easy to set up. All you need is a hoop and a ball and not that much space if you play 2 vs 2 or 3 vs 3. It is fairly dynamic. And non contact. Football is the same you stick two sticks in the ground and play. That is why so many play in poor countries.

          4. PieInTheSky

            In my grandmother’s village in the country only football was played. No basketball. So Basketball is still not nearly as popular in the country. Only in urban areas. In the country you find a field and play football. In the city there is less space and it is less fun to play football on concrete. So basketball is more popular. You can put a hoop anywhere and just throw the ball.

            Also in a school gym you can just hand some hoops – usually 6 – and lots of people can use them. It is harder to stick 6 football goals in there

          5. CPRM

            And non contact.

            This is problem with most ‘sports’. Basketball would be fun if you were allowed to hit people. Baseball would be fun if you were allowed to hit people. Mostly I just want to hit people. No fun if you can’t.

          6. CPRM

            Oh, When you say football, you mean floppy foul. Got it now.

          7. PieInTheSky

            Actually kids in the country side don’t flop.

            Also basketball is a little more physical than the pussified NBA. Except there is always a little bitch that screams fault every time

  59. CPRM

    Supposed to drop below zero again, so I’ll link this, as I failed to last time it was so fucking cold.

  60. CPRM

    I just spent the last hour learning about the history of the Borg. I’m a hep cat, like the kids say.

    1. Chafed

      TNG reruns or a nerd documentary?

    2. I’m a hep cat, like the kids say.

      A feline with a venerial disease?

    1. CPRM

      C’mon, you know Rhy is our late night brethren, show him some skin.

      1. Rhywun

        Don’t look at me, I’m checking out soon.

        1. Rhywun

          Double trouble – my seal of approval™.

    2. PieInTheSky

      meh

  61. Gustave Lytton

    I hope he’s enjoying the longest running flames now. Too bad he didn’t take his offspring with him.

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/john-dingell-longest-serving-member-congress-has-died-he-was-n968401

    1. Chafed

      JFC that part of MI must love Dingells the way MA loves the Kennedys. And by love I mean a abusive relationship.

    2. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

      Sorry-not sorry.

      Looks like there wasn’t a facet of government power he didn’t love. And, that’s regardless of his Civil Rights record.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Sorry, his wife. I assumed that his Dingell successor was his daughter.