SEA SMITH SEE STONE HEAD AND COUSIN STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE. HE WANT GIVE ADVICE TOO! HE GIVE SMART ADVICE. BETTER THAN DRIED UP OLD LAND HOOMAN. SEA SMITH PROUDLY PRESENT….BEST ADVICE!
Q. I am a 15-year-old girl. I have been friends with “Amanda” for two years. She helped me through a really tough time, which is how we became friends.
Recently, she has been going around telling people she is dating someone famous from a band and claiming she gets to hang out with them all the time. It is really stressful.
My other friend and I don’t understand why Amanda is doing this. We think it’s wrong to tell people these lies. When we have asked her about it, she always gets defensive and lies to us. She blocked my friend and me on Instagram, and that really upset us as well.
We don’t know what to do. We know you give great advice, and we hope you can help us with this. — STRESSED OUT IN IOWA
A. SEA SMITH GIVE BETTER ADVICE! SEA SMITH MAKE LIE TRUE. SEA SMITH FRONTCREATURE IN BAND!
SO SEA SMITH NOW DATE FRIEND “AMANDA”. BY DATE, MEAN RAPE. ON DATE. NOW HER TELL TRUTH, YOU BE FRIENDS AGAIN. NO WORRY ABOUT INSTAGRAM. IT NO WORK IN WATER. THIS ADVICE THING VERY EASY! SEA SMITH TRY NEXT ONE…
Q. I know a young newlywed couple who just had their first baby. The baby is weeks old and isn’t crawling yet. My concern is that they have a box turtle for a pet in their small apartment. They’ve had the turtle for probably a year and, while it has a cage, they often let it loose in the kitchen. I don’t know if it has reign over other parts of the home.
This turtle is at least 8 inches across its shell, and its head is more than an inch long with a half-inch bite. The baby will be crawling this year. I feel the turtle is a threat, and the baby will no doubt be attracted to it and likely try to crawl over and touch it. The turtle’s bites are notoriously sharp and likely contaminated, and I’m concerned about the baby losing a finger. Is this a reasonable concern? — PROTECTOR IN NEVADA
A. YOU MIND OWN BUSINESS, “PROTECTOR”. MORE LIKE “STICKNOSEINOR”. SEA SMITH KNOW MANY FINE TURTLE! THEM USEFUL CREATURE. USE FOR FURNITURE, USE FOR RAPE, USE FOR SOUP. LEAVE TURTLE ALONE!
BESIDE, BABY NO CRAWL FASTER THAN TURTLE, HOW IT SUPPOSED SURVIVE? IF REALLY WANT, CAN GO HIRE COUSIN STEVE SMITH WATCH TURTLE. IT ACT BAD, COUSIN STEVE SMITH HIT WITH BIG ROCK. OR RAPE. OR BOTH. AT ONCE.
SEA SMITH NOW GO TAKE PET FISH FOR SWIM.
COME ON IN, WATER FINE!
…SEA SMITH THINK HE NEED MORE BE IN CHARGE OF THINGS ON SITE…
Comments
317 responses to “SEA SMITH GIVE ADVICE”
I like turtles.
I like cows.
I like turtles!
I! LIKE! COWS!
I Like Them!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXnJqYwebF8
Are you a turtle?
Uuh.
Mind on business first ?
2nd.
Do I get a participant trophy ?
SMITH CLAN GIVE YOU TROPHY. YOU KEEP REST OF LIFE
STEVE SMITH NO SWIM AS WELL AS COUSIN. BUT STILL RAPE TURTLE IF NO HIKER
…SEA SMITH THINK HE NEED MORE BE IN CHARGE OF THINGS ON SITE…
Earth, water, air, fire. Which SMITH is which? (We know which SEA SMITH is)
Beware of what you’re asking for. One day, the FIRE SMITH will attack and disrupt the peace here between the other ELEMENTAL SMITHS.
Yet all will fall before ONE TRUE SMITH.
You forgot Heart.
HEART SMITH RAPE YOUR FEELINGS. AND BY FEELINGS MEAN…
Ann Wilson’s fat ass?
Ann was fine in her day and Nancy can still rock it. Why you son misogynistic?
One of my jokes used to be “I’m so old, I remember when Ann was the hot one.” Now, I’m so old, I remember when that joke was funny.
I am a 15-year-old girl.
OMWC doesn’t want any old biddies.
How does that kid know her friend Isn’t putting out for a band?
” …dating someone famous from a band…IN IOWA“
General public > Maggots > Juaggalos
Nah, that’s Slipknot
BTW, maybe you can say I’m overreacting, but the speed with which the mainstream press has shifted into shit like this is downright frightening to me, and I’m not even Jewish. All this to avoid criticising some first term back bencher Somali chick who keeps spouting obvious Jew hate?? Talk about a watershed moment.
I’m definitely anti-pro-anti-semite propaganda. I think.
I can’t keep up no more.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, just wait a damn minute. You’re talking about one of Minnedosa’s fin….oh, never mind….
Who’d a thunk that we’d look back to the statesmanship of Keith Ellison?
i don’t think you are overreacting.
I’m with you Chip.
What is worse, I am more worried that it isn’t so much that they are afraid to criticize Omar, but that her “courage” has allowed them to go public with their own bigotry. Before Omar refused to back down or apologize, how many of her defenders thought the exact same thing, but just kept it private.
Color me worried, but I had thought that anti-semitism was like neo-nazi shit, something almost no normal person really believed in. Now, I’m not so sure.
The big compromise started with the headgear for Rep Omar. Once you get the first dispensation the rest come easy. 50 years of tradition goes out the window in a heart beat.
…250 years…
It’s frightening to (((me))) too. My Mossberg helps me sleep at night. I just hope to never have to use it.
STEVE SMITH IS GONNA TAKE YOU BY SURPRISE AND MAKE YOU REALIZE, AMANDA.
HUNNNNGRY EYES
ONE LOOK AT YOU AND STEVE SMITH CAN’T DISGUISE THOSE
HUNNNNGRY EYES
You are all horrible people. I hope you drown in STEVE SMITH’s semen.
But I like you
?
Don’t you go threatening us with a good time.
Kind of like being in the splash zone at a killer whale show?
Oh, to think of the possible (probable) vids out there to link to….
But, I’m not that big of a monster. Or, that eager to get banninated.
Making New York-style pizza at home
Just forwarded that to the wife. Last time she was in NYC, she actually took a class. She nailed it in NY, but for some reason it doesn’t work in MT. Altitude? Humidity? The water?
Anyway…it’s a quest.
What’s so hard about throwing some sauce and cheese on a paper plate and chucking it in the microwave for 43 seconds?
Help! I’m being chased by a rabid turtle!
/Elaine Chao’s first date
You joke, but turtles can be fast when they really put their minds into it.
Cartoons have told me otherwise.
Took me a while, then LOL. Home run, Yusef!
“DRIED UP OLD LAND HOOMAN”
And here I thought that was an OMWC reference.
Also, because it was so late and Sir Digby is the only one I know was still around: The first recorded SMITH was COPPER SMITH, responsible for the Rape of the Sabine Women.
Did you see how those Sabine women were dressed?
That’s all good and well, but it doesn’t explain LIBERTY SMITH.
And, yes–LIBERTY SMITH did see how the women were dressed. He says they should be “Free to wear whatevs”.
SEA SMITH, WHAT IS BEST COVERING FOR WINDOWS ON WHITE OMWC STYLE VAN? BLACKED OUT? OR MAYBE MAGA STYLE?
This.
Yea that one, whatcha think? I got the 2 door WINDOWS to do.
Do it, and when you get harassed sue. But we’ll do it up Classy! I’ll photoshop The Hat and Hair on the Trumpster! Viral Marketing!
I’d put H and H on those WINDOWS in a heartbeat, downtown L.A. night, good times…..
Hey Yusef! Question for ya. My heat pump is dying a slow and expensive death. Electric bill this month is $370 for 1300 sqft.
The air handler is in the attic, and the basement is not conditioned. Would it be better, when this thing finally goes, to put the new air handler in the basement and run new ductwork so that the basement is now conditioned? Or replace the handler in the attic and find some other way to heat/cool the basement? If the latter, what’s the best way to condition the basement?
If you can move the air handler, definitely do so, a good move, especially if the old one is dying, perfect time
I have an old boiler that is sitting in the perfect position for a new air handler in the basement, but I wasn’t sure how much more the ductwork would add to the cost compared to finding some separate solution for the basement.
You need a chase to the attic to run the main supply back to the attic, and put in a floor return, it’s doable
Sweet! The hole is cut for the chase already, they’d just have to pull the boiler exhaust pipe out.
Thanks Yusef!
What is an Automatic Weapon?
The left doesn’t care because their ultimate goal is to ban all weapons. Lying is totally cool with them. Ends > means.
THIS dangerous turtle.
We need a law against Assault Turtles. No turtle needs a shell that spikey.
snapping turtles, whatever kind we have here, like to lay eggs on my land, one year I walked out the front door and one was laying eggs right off where the sidewalk meets my porch. They usually lay their eggs in my driveway, can’t imagine any of them ever hatch.
Snapping turtles make good soup.
Growing up, my dad and his buddies would nab a snapping turtle or two every year. When I was really young, this was great because it was an entertaining hour or so while my dad and his buddies tried to chop the head off the turtle. Especially since execution time was usually after they’d gotten back from fishing and had had a few beers. Usually one of them would try to coax the snapper into sticking its head out by throwing a muskie lure at it. When the turtle stuck its head out another guy would swing the axe. Great fun to watch if you were a kid living out in the country where there were only 2 tv channels.
All that came to an end though when someone pointed out to my dad that turtles are cold blooded. So then all he would do is throw the turtle into the freezer and the next day the turtle would be in hibernation mode and it was no problem to pull his head out with pliers and cut it off at your leisure. A total let down if you were a kid.
The meat is like very lean beef and my mother made soup with it. Combined with home made bread it is very good.
I saw a turtle on a walk a year ago and thought about bringing it home to butcher, but I was more than a mile away and didn’t feel like lugging it all the way back. (The only safe way to grab a snapper is by the end of the tail. Anywhere else and they can bite or claw you)
As a kid we ate them at home. Now we’re too refined or something. I see a few smaller ones around but the skunks/raccoons always seem to get the eggs before they hatch. I can relate to your experiences, Saturdays and the adults were relaxing with refreshments.
Aw, adorably terrifying!
Who is, Mitch McConnell?
Nah, he’s terrifyingly adorable.
Not as dangerous as these turtles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMJPwRWaZBI
Was expecting this.
Where’s Ted S to link to Happy Together?
Hawt.
We know how ZARDOZ feels about Onanistic material, but what about SEA SMITH?
http://archive.li/03Xkx
Someone get 12 a sammich, stat! 19 and 24 want to play with your pets.
I know there is no way libertarians can ally with progressives, but anybody on here watching what Jimmy dore is doing on you tube?
Nice to meet you, Jimmy Dore.
I’m tulpa stupid.
Fuck Off Tulpa,
have watched him praise rand Paul for wrecking jake tapper, use a tucker Carlson episode to take down a Obama admin guy who was supporting war in syria and bag endlessly on maddow?
Greetings, fellow Tulpa. And fuck off.
It seems like he is doing a ton of OPPO research for republicans. They are in the tank for Bernie and tulsie but are murdering the msm and all the other dem candidatez. I am too far in my cups for links on the new tablet.
Cups? See here! We use only the finest cut diamond Ale glasses, hand polished by our multitudes of orphans, get with it Tulpa
Glencairn glass here. And I do own a hand cut one. I bring that one out when I pick up a new orphan.
They put it in a bottle for areason.
I am rocking these – wedding gift from one of my oldest friends.
He’s one of the few anti war leftists out there. Way wrong on some things and spot on with others.
Right. I am becoming a single issue voter. Different issue at different levels.
Peace,
1st amend.,
2nd amend.
Chicken fucking?
You fuck one chicken and…
you realize everything feels like a chicken?
“you realize everything feels like a chicken”
Is that true? ‘Cause if so…
Sorry, riffing off ol’ SIV. I think his single issue was chicken rape.
Tastes like chicken, smells like tuna.
I think the only real risk to Trump 2020 is tulsi gabbard. I am willing to explain in detail. But, these are the people who will make it happen.
I happen to agree, but I highly doubt she’ll get the DNC behind her. Unless there’s a full-blown mutiny from the socialist contingent that gets put down in the meantime, I suspect they’ll gamble on someone like Warren or another “resister”.
Did Trump win with the insiders helping him?
That is how you capture the middle now. And the way the dems got exposed with Bernie last time the narrative is already written for those dummies.
Dore’s good on war and the Russia hoax and pretty terrible on most else.
You are right. They are PROGS. Man they are the staunchly anti war side of the left that gets lost. It is stupid and it is jokes but they are principled as far as thatgoes.
He is willing to say NBC new is, and I quote, “the enemy of thepeople.”
Where you been, bobby? It’s been awhile
Livin in peace. Thanks for asking.
Just did. Loser.
He is not somebody you are going to agree with but he is trying to reform the left from the left.
That is one tall order. Good luck to him.
It is. Believe me I am on your side. I am trying to find some hope we are not in the short term doomed. On the most cynical side is these guys are just doing OPPO research and already spreading it through the dems party.
They still believe in the “deep state”.
Should I ask the PTB if there is an interest in keeping track of what the IDW on the progressive side are interested in?
Um… trying to clear the field for the socialists?
Careful with those frogs, too.
That frog is gay.
Isn’t gay if it’s fingers. Chicks have fingers. Are you gay if a chick’s fingering your ass? Exactly.
It’s a frog. It obviously thinks his finger is a big dick. And knowing you, it’s a male frog. So therefore, the frog is gay.
At least I’m not a homophobe like you thinking dicks are all big fingers.
The whole comment section on this post is just weird. There’s obviously a lot of latent bestiality in the Glibs based on the comments.
^ projection
Like they do it on the Discovery channel?
I’ll best anyone, I’m bestial as fuck! I’ll best your girlfriend, she doesn’t even know how to best like I do!
I knew this lesbian who would get drunk about every other month and want the, Er, 11th finger.
My personal martial arts instructor hit on me twice after a few cocktails. 15 years younger than me and hot. Both times I was in a place in my life where I couldn’t oblige. A lifelong regret.
I want to hate you for passing up, but mostly I’m confused how you could even tell.
I was married the first time and had just gotten into a committed relationship the second time. Morals can really suck sometimes.
Bi. bi, Miss American Pie.
Damn. Way to on the nose.
*sighs* …too….
Hobo Stew 4 Ingredients Backpacking Food w/ Melissa Miller ///subtlehotness
But I don’t recommend using lake-water…
I think you’re misunderstanding that ‘subtle’ part.
Yes, I’m drunk off my ass and my English is better than that.
You fucked that up. It should be ‘My English be better ass than drunk.’
Her biceps and forearms remind me too much of mom. Working woman’s arms.
Kitchener Leslie makes hobo stew.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
“Subtle” hotness.
Tit jobs and xfit plus starvation
John? That you?
Dude. Come on. I’m just saying boobs like that don’t show on a 10% body fat chuck without help. Maybe she has a great sports bra. My wife is 5’7” and 130lbs when she’s “heavy”. I know about skinny chicks and tits.
You know about crystal meth and wearing sweatpants in public.
Nice humble brag, though.
When I wear sweatpants in public my ass looks nothing like that.
And she prepares a meal in absolute silence. It’s like 30 Rock’s porn for women, but for men.
+1 Instant Adoring Boyfriend as featured on BOTW
That was a great episode. Although this latest episode with Rem Lezar. . Holy shit that was funny.
I’m glad someone appreciates it. I’m quite proud of that reference.
I think Mike may be simpatico with us, and perhaps the overlords should reach out to get an interview. I’d do it if I had an official glibs email address.
Would
I don’t know if these were caught in any links, but something really strange is going on in Florida.
Cop accountability part 1. Nothing like being recorded unaware to blow big ugly holes in your story.
Cop accountability part 2. I’ve been wondering what was ever going to happen to the worst shot ever to don a badge.
#1 was in the links. We’re all as shocked as you are.
Shocked because the cop was convicted?
Or shocked because someone reposted a story that was in the official links?
Yes.
I haven’t really been following this story, but… is the color of the victim at all relevant? Or is this just the usual MSM stirring up racial animus ploy?
Sounds like he’d have killed a white guy too all things the same.
How Glibs sounds to Normies.
Lies. There are no Glib normies.
So Comedy Central is aware that race baiting and intentionally misrepresenting people as racist is bad. Interesting. What time is Trevor Noah on again?
Hope Glibcoins are okay.
I dont get it.
Not sure of the music choice with this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cFrg35Obh8
One more and I gotta get some work done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GePHzDZTiE&index=19&list=PLATk2E3UwVzZSuEqtLcvBxxpNx7h33Opt
The song threw me in for one helluva loop.
The “gay boy” you punched in the hall today? He deep throated the fuck out of five cocks all at once last night. That girl you called a slut in class today? She fucked her horse. The boy you called lame? Yeah, he’s a fucking bitch. That girl you pushed down the other day? She has a Barbie™️ Ken doll stuck in her vagina. That girl you called fat? She managed to eat seventeen Big Mac™️ burgers in one sitting. The old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He contracted ligma. The boy you made fun of for crying? He’s crying because he missed Gekyume’s circumcision. You think you freaking know them? Guess what? You don’t! Re-post if you think we should reinstate the three-fifths compromise. I bet 99% of you won’t, but repost this if you’re that 1% who is an epic gamer.
I bet this won’t even get one “like”!!
17 Big Macs is very specific.
Is this an HM original? It’s great and makes me want to sign up again on FB.
So are you:
1. Agile Cyborg having a relapse
2. A scout for Mr. Lizard’s people sending coded messages
3. Suffering an ‘episode’ from all the toxic glibism
4. Drunk
?
4!
That’s “factorial”, not an emphatic confirmation of the fourth option.
Oh crap, cause choice 24 was
24. 68 year old Homeland Security Agent named Chip Tynicok trying to entrap us all for laughing at Pelosi
I found it thought provoking, erotic and kawaii.
Fucking weabos.
well,
1. no. AC was way more into biomechanical and inter-realm sex. Think cars fucking buildings and spewing cum into god’s nostrils, that kinda thing.
2. no again. The lizard people are very serious and they mean business. They dont deviate from their aims, ever!
3. well, maybe
4 of course
? yes
That’s almost AC level right there.
I see it’s already 5 o’clock for me. Time to go get plastered and rethink about what I just read.
5? Where the hell are you?
On his floating fortress in the Pacific, duh.
State of mind, good sir. State of mind.
1300 = 3pm = 1500 = 5o’clock = time to crack one open.
Uh, you’re two hours off. 1500 is 3pm.
I hate to say it, but some times country songs are right.
So…the gay kid had a big enough mouth that he could take five cocks at once? I don’t even see how that’s logistically possible.
Ever seen a python unhook its jaw to eat a hippo? Yeah, teh gaizz have that superpower, too.
The more you know.
Something like this?
If it is something like that, does that make Wesley the “Gay Blade”?
How about “The Gay Walker”?
I will never not hear it as “Gay Walker” from now on.
“See, Blade is a parable for homosexuality, where Blade represents an out gay man…”
“You and me? Right here…!”
Totally forgot DAG was in that.
David Alan Grier has mad a hell of a living cheesing up everything, whether the part called for it or not.
It is great, innit?
Hard to see him in the old fogey show with Vicky Lawrence. Hard to see any of them in it, really.
Well, I think Leslie Jordan came out of the womb looking like a 60yr old gay man.
“Some are just born to play a part.”
By the way, he’s my pick to play Lindsey Graham in the inevitable live action Hat and the Hair movie.
“He contracted ligma.”
ligma balls?
I swear, I didn’t think NPR could possibly get more…err…peculiar, but they reliably keep squeezing out brain farts that just get wetter and squeakier each time. Today while driving I was treated to a full throated defense of why one of the biggest corporate media mergers should be allowed to go through because ORANGE MAN BAD. One of the world’s most monolithic and omnipresent news organizations is about to be owned by the same people that own the infrastructure that delivers it to your home, and NPR thinks this is just hunky dory. What a time to be alive.
That reminds me that I have to submit my full throated defense of prostitution.
Make sure you floss afterward.
Wow, that was a lame joke. I take one lousy week off from work to send out resumes and I completely fall off my game. Pathetic.
All I had was some sort of ‘Heather Brooke’ comment.
I couldn’t really focus on the rest of Mike’s comment. I was on the phone with my boss and doodling at the same time. Didn’t notice what I had doodled until I hung up.
https://imgur.com/a/oHuRSBl
“Ask Distracted Straffinrun”
I think we have a new advice column percolating here.
What are the people saying?
We should have the non-Japanese-reading Glibs chime in on what they see.
Is that a mariachi in the lower right?
Just random racist, transphobic and xenophobic stuff. It’s more fun in kanji.
Some sort of Buddhist run camp over in the upper left.
I raffed. That is all I will say to keep the mystery for the non-moon rune readers.
Fucking weabos.
https://youtu.be/Mzg7Ybv2Pmo
“Full throated”. Um, based on HM’s post above, I have to ask how many cocks that involves? Not because I want to ask, but because HM brings these issues to the forefront.
I figured “deep throated defense” was too rude.
I linked to this last night but goddamn is this stuck in my head now:
LION BABE – Get Into The Party Life
Really solid cover.
Incidentally, that’s Vanessa Williams’ daughter. Those are some good genes.
Which one?
The one who looks like k.d. lang, obviously
I’m pretty sure k.d. lang (and e.e. cummings) are white.
Meh, not enough pockets. JnKos were better…
Damn, that is some good shit and exactly what I needed right now. Thanks!
I’m a sucker for a good female vocalist over good beats.
Cool song, but one thing I’ve learned over the years is that when you’re at a party where “party” is in the song lyrics… well, someone’s lack of consent is irrelevant.
I’m certain bad things have happened with “Party Rockin’” as the soundtrack.
THICC
https://archive.li/bk20h/3100bf6df54f923aa9f502800d2574112e648ce3.jpg
Eventually.
Is she winking or is that a shiner?
Sty.
not loading
WTF is going on at Google’s search engine page today? I need testosterone replacement therapy after looking at it.
https://www.google.co.jp/?client=safari&channel=iphone_bm
Google is obviously reacting to your toxic masculinity.
I tried to wear a vagina hat in solidarity, but the wymens didn’t approve of my facial expressions.
Why? Did they tickle?
Yes, especially since I was wearing it on my face.
Did you remember to say いただきます before putting it on your face?
Of course, I’m not a barbarian. The oshibori needs a good washing now though.
Excellent. You are truly an examplary role model to this younger gaijin.
Well, I was referring to the expressions.
Really-women should approve of facial expressions in that….setting.
So, now that I have gained your trust, fellow America freedom lover, da, it is being time to make the fun of the Hillary, da?
OK, so post #30 was supposed to be a reply to you. Musta hit the wrong button (dammit).
If you really want to wade off into that…I don’t know what to call it; be my guest.
Just don’t…………..just be careful if you’re gonna animate anything from the SF H&H (Hilary ‘n’ Huma) files.
PM Brooks, is that you?
I don’t know who that is, and I’m not going to answer the question!
My fellow Glibs, I bring good news!
Drinking Coffee and Alcohol Every Day Could Actually Help You Live Longer
Immortality is within reach!
So you live to immortality plus if you cut out that shit coffee, right?
But most data when you look at it shows moderate drinkers outlive non drinkers. but being epidemiological data t aint worth shit. Then again many areas of long life have wine drinking as a usual activity
Everything in moderation. Especially moderation. *Oscar Wilde(?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu7I-h5kpRU
I’d like to hear Raph and straff’s stories of how they ended up in Nippon.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/74/cf/06/74cf06d3e278d1f7488112987ffc6a2e.jpg
tits a little over twice the size of optimal.
In the normal world, we call that “fun sized”.
Don’t mind Pie; he had a brain-eating amoebic infection that left all his faculties intact except for his ability to judge proper tits.
Be fair; if those were in anyway natural, I’d support them, too.
With my hands, if possible.
I’m not into tit discrimination, personally.
SDCF, your commitment to titty neutrality should be a beacon to all of us who love titties.
*sniffs* I’m… I’m sorry I doubted the titties.
::pats baked on the shoulder::
I bring grope to the grope-less.
Well, I try to.
You want to bogus story I made up to tell myself today or the bogus story I told myself 20 years ago?
Well, let’s start with the 20-year-old story, and see where that takes us.
Please.
I just wanted to live in an ethnostate even if I wasn’t part of the group. Eventually, I’ll bring back what I’ve learned and run for Congress.
Ah youth. I moved to Las Vegas mostly because no one thought I would.
Hey! I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. So, we’re, like, eskimo brothers!
Do people always wonder why you dress in black?
If they do, it’s not for very long….
Good sex joke fellow American Comrade.
Sex joke? Remember: I’m NOT a naked intruder.
Da, fellow American Citizen, I am knowing this. I vas simply commiserating in our entirely mutual Americanism, comrade.
Tangentially related, I’m pleased to see that someone resurrected the I Am A Japanese School Teacher posts – a large black American teaching in Japan.
Often deeply funny.
Heh. JET program. I feel sorry for those guys.
Never change, Japan.
Man, kids really do suck.
They do that Kancho thing all the time and believe it or not it’s a sign of affection.
It leads to no good: Man arrested for killing friend by blasting compressed air up rectum.
Aw man, the Kancho. I’m glad I knew about before I came over so I always had one eye looking over my back when I had a school visit.
Ind here repeatable media here has lead me to believe tentacles were the problem, then it was fingers all the long…
No wonder they got bombed.
/Yeah, that’s harsh. But, where this Kancho is concerned, no option is off the table
Meh. It’s just a butthole. The way to get them to stop is to overtly enjoy it. Do that once and the word gets around.
When it’s yours? Sure.
But, Homey don’t play dat.
Reading the post about Gaijin Smash and the other superpowers (Gaijin Telepathy and Gaijin Perimeterl) brought up an old experience I had.
So it’s a hot summer in Tokyo, I was chilling with two of my friends on the program one who was a very big African American dude and the other was a shorter White dude. Big Bro and I had been there all day and were just wearing wife-beaters and jeans while the other pal was all nice in a polo. We walk down one of the streets at night to look for another drinking hole and on the opposite side of the street walking towards us was a lady probably heading home from overtime work. The poor lady, the second she saw the three of us, she turned tail and just friggin ran.
Gaijin Smash?
Gaijin Smash? Is that the video with the bower bird?
I think that’s Gaijin Perimeter
Fair enough. It wasn’t a conscious attempt/effort to make the poor lady leave her lane. If one Gaijin Perimeter is strong, 3 at once must have been truly a terrifying force.
https://youtu.be/Ic53hhFllPM
Don’t sugarcoat it. An enthnostate that celebrates “White Day” next Thursday.
I’m getting a “What A Fool Believes” vibe here…
You just like sideways vaginas?
So, a “horizontal-vertical smile”?
Those are two very good reasons to convince someone to make it over here.
Jokes aside, it was persistence and a dab of Lady Luck’s fortune. Simple story was that I applied for an Assistant Language Teacher gig in Japan, got placed on a cold/wait list for about 8-9 months before my predecesoer had to break their contract and go back home. I was pretty much a transfer. Just imagine this SoFloridaman coming into Tohoku in the middle of Winter. Shiz, that was over 4 years ago. I’m on the last contract year though so I’m most likely going back Stateside come August.
predecessor*. Dang, and I thought I fixed that too.
Wow. I got back from my stay in Europe, spent a month sleeping on an ex girlfriend’s couch in the states then decided I’d go to Japan. No job, no housing set up. Ran low on funds after a month or so and got a shitty job editing. 20 jobs later and I’m still here.
That’s a damned fine “can-do” work ethic!
Kind of stupid, too. There was a point where I didn’t have the cash for a ticket home and my time limit on the passport was up. Had to get a visa outside of Japan at the time so when I got a job that would sponsor my visa, I had to go to Seoul. Spent a week there on about $200. YMCA was a lifesaver.
That’s crazy, very impressive though. Good on you and glad at least it’s been working out for the most part.
A different time. That was most expats experience except for the JET teachers.
Yeah, I’m definitely thankful at least I had a place/job lined up when I came over. I was just a dishwasher/janitor before this job so I have no idea what I would’ve done then.
Can’t beat the 30 second commute when working from home. \
Good morning glibs
When I work from home that’s too far. I don’t get comped for mileage.
I WFH 4 out of 5 days a week. It’s quite nice, especially when the weather is terrible.
I get one day a week no more than 4 a month. Thoough at least in Romania US companies are morr open to it than EU companies. For us this is the firsr year we have wfh policy
Your problem is you’re working for ‘THE MAN’, who pays you in money. I work for myself, who pays in alcohol.
My company has an official “works from home / works remotely” status for employees, which I’m in, even though I live just a couple miles from the office.
When the official WFH program started, I was coming to work and immediately putting on headphones to drown out the noise while I tried to write code. Working from home was much more productive.
The office is quieter now, but I’m in the WFH groove – the dog alone would mean a big adjustment if I went back to going in full-time (paying a walker 5 days a week vs. 1). The one day is when my whole group commits to being in, so it’s a meeting-heavy day – the video stuff works well enough, but isn’t the same as face-to-face.
Couch potato, I’m not a weabo (whatever that is). I’m American Charima Man.
https://smt.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8341c68f553ef012877ae8622970c-600wi
*adjusts glasses and prepares to nerd-splain*
I’ll assist you with that. Weeaboos are pretty much what they used to to call Japanophiles back in ye olde days. Most of the more modern ones are essentially Western versions of anime otaku. They also act like/believe glorious Nippon is always the best and how they wish they were born or lived there.
Also the katana is the greatest weapon ever made. And if you are really cool you have an anime girlfriend
+1 “While you were partying, I studied the blade.”
+1 2D anime waifu > all
I prefer a raifu.
Thx. That’s definitely not me. The average American knows more about anime than I do. Pachinko, soapland, kyabukura is more my thing.
If I ever visit Japan I will depend on you to steer me to the good places
Deal. Vice versa on Romania.
Wait I though you was married
Yep. Welcome to Japan.
I used to be into some anime, but then lost interest and I appreciated those three things a lot more (pachinko not so much though since I’m pretty sensitive to loud noises, but that was fun too).
IfWhen we get to meet up, I wouldn’t mind hitting up a kyabukura as well.Cool. I absolutely love the seedy side of this place. The hole in the wall izakayas, the slightly slutty obasans, the bicycle race betting oyajis etc.
I’ve been watching some early 90’s videos of Tokyo on YouTube. Different feel to them than today. Much more like other Asian cities.
https://youtu.be/tcXWt8z4zeE
Alright (or is it Alt-Right?) I’ma gonna pass out now. Working in a new cartoon. Damn higher paid work has been using my CPU for the last couple days. But soon the hattening!
Sweet coma!
You finally made it to today and now you sleep?
Excellent, reminds me I should get the donation sent. I’ve been meaning to do that shiz.
SEA SMITH know anything about this?
https://www.foxnews.com/us/giant-glory-hole-swallows-california-duck-sparking-debate-over-its-survival
A whole story by a major news outlet about whether a duck survived or not. Truly we live in the stupidest timeline.
Did the duck have a name?
Glory glory hallelujah ?