Thursday Morning Back to Normal Links

Good morning my Glibs and Gliberinas and what a glorious morning it is for everyone but those who value freedom, exposure of government corruption, and true journalism, as Julian Assange has been arrested after having his asylum withdrawn.

 

 

AG Barr confirms “Spygate”, pissing off many in the media and some democrats as well.

 

AG Barr to take federal approach to pot.

 

 

Former Obama Aide expects to be indicted in case related to Mueller probe.

 

Pentagon awards a billion dollars in border wall construction contracts.

 

That’s all I got for today, I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

Comments

539 responses to “Thursday Morning Back to Normal Links”

  1. AlexinCT

    Former Obama Aide expects to be indicted in case related to Mueller probe.

    First of many to come, and hopefully Obama will get his too.

    1. Count Potato

      Going is after Chocolate Baby Jesus. Never is going to happen.

      1. I do get odd looks when I tell people that Obama is a PoS; even after I tell them of the horrible things he had done.

        “But he was so inspirational!”

        1. “And what did he inspire you to do?”

        2. AlexinCT

          It baffles me how people that claim to be about social justice see no problem with criminal tyrannical behavior as long as it is their guy doing it. Scratch that. I remembered that if it was not for double standards these people would have no standards.

          1. straffinrun

            They have a standard: Power.

          2. All for the state. Nothing against the state.

          3. Pine_Tree

            The word “social” as an adjective is like a Boolean NOT. It reverses the meaning of whatever comes after it. Social justice is the opposite of justice. The social gospel is the opposite of the gospel. Etc.

          4. AlexinCT

            Yeah, I have noticed that as well.

          5. Not Adahn

            “Justice” means the conditions under which it is acceptable to harm another person. That’s why the personification of Justice is shown with a sword.

            Criminal justice means it is right to harm you based on your criminal status — if you commit a crime we can take your stuff, throw you in a cage, or kill you.

            Social justice is the same, but based on someone’s social status. If “we as a society” *hurkgh* decide that wypipo are bad, we can totes take their stuff and give it to goodpepo.

          6. That’s the most succinct and useful definition of justice I’ve ever seen. Socrates would be humbled.

          7. Justice is getting what you deserve. Mostly retribution in my humble philosophy.

          8. db

            And adding the term “science” to a term guarantees that the named endeavor has absolutely no connection to the scientific method nor any claim to the prestige or authority implied by those who so misuse it.

            So then “social science” would mean what? Is it a complete nullity? I might argue that “social science” taken in the above context actually refers to basic physics or the laws of thermogoddamics.

          9. Not Adahn

            But the synthesis and characterization of elastomers is a “hard science.”

          10. invisible finger

            The adjective “social” can easily be replaced with the word “bullshit” and the meaning becomes obvious.

            Social Media = Bullshit Media
            Social Justice = Bullshit Justice
            Socialism = Bullshitism (the belief in bullshit)

          11. I like replacing the “social” with “by the mob”

            Social justice = justice by the mob
            Socialism = rule by the mob
            Social security = money extracted by the mob
            Social consciousness = thinking controlled by the mob

          12. invisible finger

            It certainly is code for “groupthink”. However, too few people are embarrassed by groupthink and instead aspire to it.

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          Whenever I rattle off some of the stupid shit he said and did I just get deer in a headlight looks.

          Or, some try like a lame peasant waving their pitchfork meekly tying to defend against a tyrant, will attempt to scream, ‘FAUX NEWS!’

          1. My favorite one is when people complain about the price of cars. Cash for Clunkers has been completely memory holed.

            “I can’t find an affordable car for my teenager”

            “remember when Obama made us pour epoxy into a bunch of engine blocks in the name of environmentalism?”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about, bigot!”

            “cash for Clunkers”

            “oh *mumble mumble*”

          2. AlexinCT

            I often wonder if they know but just refuse to make the connection because it will lead to some serious soul searching problems, or simply are this stupid they can’t make the connections. Either way, it saddens me these people get to cancel the votes of more informed people…

          3. Fatty Bolger

            That “Fox news!” accusation is nuts. I don’t watch Fox news, lol. But they act like they’ve just struck a devastating blow, and now they have won the argument forever.

        4. Well he was a black Progressive, so he made a lot of white people feel really good about having clearly signaled how not racist they are. He was like the pinnacle of “having a black friend” because he was in the White House and acted like he liked you, but had some important lessons to teach you. That’s why he’s still so popular in that set. His election is living proof that Progressive whites are beyond racism and have atoned for the sins of their ancestors.

          1. AlexinCT

            There was certainly a ton of this in my home state. I voted for a black man! Ain’t I the bomb, your racists?

            Yeah, whatever. The fact that his policies are “red shit” is why I didn’t vote for him.

          2. ChipsnSalsa

            His election is living proof that Progressive whites are beyond racism and have atoned for the sins of their ancestors.

            The sins of the white people will never be atoned for. The progressives will keep coming back to that to gain more control over peoples lives.

          3. AlexinCT

            Divide and conquer and make sure to dismantle any system that is based on merit. Without the later the leftist elite class would be in dire straights considering the level of ineptitude and ineffectiveness it has sunk to. Accountability is definitely something they want nothing to do with.

        5. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          You know who else was inspirational?

          1. MikeS

            O.J. Simpson?

      2. Count Potato

        Just pretend I didn’t add “is” to those two sentences.

    2. Brett L

      I think it is an excellent tradition for presidents to leave when their term ends, and to not prosecute them.

  2. Slammer

    Thank the gods, my life is back to “normal”

    1. Banjos

      One of us!

    2. and by normal mean chaotic train wreck /story of my life

    3. ElspethFlashman

      me too! *huffs into paper bag *

      1. Not Adahn

        Well, since the two of your are the same person, that only makes sense.

        1. We’re linked by space and time.

          1. Not Adahn

            If space is flat, and time is a flat circle… then time is circular space?

            *mind blown*

          2. AlexinCT

            It is all in our minds, man. The movie “The Matrix” was, like, prophetic!

    4. bacon-magic

      ^^^Tulpa confirmed

  3. AlmightyJB

    Good Morning Banjos!

    1. Banjos

      Mornin’

  4. Define “normal.”

    1. It’s a force perpendicular to the surface of an object.

    2. AlexinCT

      What he said…

    3. Drake

      The town in Illinois where they used to make Mitsubishis?

      1. Brett L

        How bad is your town that they name it after the teacher’s college?

    4. Spartacus

      It’s a subgroup that is invariant under certain operations.

    5. My penis? /hangs head in shame

      1. It’s not supposed to turn at 90 degrees like that.

    6. Spartacus

      It’s a certain type of probability distribution.

    7. Spartacus

      It’s a matrix that commutes with its transpose.

      1. Count Potato

        That’s not even a euphemism.

        1. Spartacus

          It’s UCS’s fault, he started it.

    8. AlmightyJB

      Like me

    9. This is why I love this place.

    10. Enough About Palin

      Defining normal is easy. It’s anyone not offended by being labeled normal.

  5. Former Obama Aide expects to be indicted in case related to Mueller probe.

    and

    AG Barr confirms “Spygate”

    point to the same link – may be intended?

    1. AlexinCT

      The fact is that the democrats are in a fucking tizzy and now really worried about the fact that the Obama admin was utterly corrupt and constantly committed crimes as it weaponized the fedgov Justice and Intel apparatus. The fake Vietnam Vet from “The People’s Republic of Connecticut” was furious at Barr for pointing out that the Obama admin had the US intel apparatus collude with foreign intel to spy on a political opponent. Team blue spent the last 2 years desperately trying to find a way to execute a coup so they could hide the nefarious and criminal activities sanctioned by Obama’s admin, and we have wasted 2 years on a fake story they hoped would allow that douchebag Mueller to somehow charge Trump with obstruction that died an ugly death once Barr took the office of AG.

      Anyway, Fake Vietnam Vet tweeted stupid shit, and Sean Davis called him out with facts. God I pray Fake Vietnam Vet is part of the people that were not just in the know of the criminal Obama admin activities, but doing them. I would love to go visit him in prison and tell him to hurry up and make my new license plate.

      1. Slammer

        And all backed up by their lapdogs in the press. Remember all the articles about the Bush Admin spying on Americans?

        Today all the papers are putting quotes around ‘spied’ and ‘spying’

        1. AlexinCT

          Democrats project. You can be sure that if they accuse anyone of something bad, it is because they are doing it and can’t believe the one they accused wouldn’t too (or they hope to distract from their own shit).

          Speaking of which: what happened to the racists running Virginia? Was there any consequences for them, or did the story get buried y the lapdogs because it would hurt team blue’s efforts to rig the redistricting efforts?

          1. The outrage got shitcanned to save the gerrymander

          2. AlexinCT

            I hope that the next time team blue decides to pull out the “(s)/he/xer is a racist” attack, everyone piles up on them and cites the Virginia case.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Obama administration brought Chicago style politics to the federal level.

    2. Drake

      This is going to be fun. And the Assange arrest could add an extra special twist. Imagine the AG granting him immunity in return for testimony on Clinton / Obama shenanigans and maybe his sources (cough, cough, Seth Rich, cough).

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        What’s Swedish for ‘the plot thickens’?

        1. AlexinCT

          To quote John Candy in that movie Splash, I think it is “Jag har en 12 tum penis”…..

      2. invisible finger

        I’ve had the same dream.

        Then I wake up and realize the AG will never do that. When all is said and done, the AG himself may be a partisan first, but the department is a deep state stronghold. The only good coming out of this arrest is that it might be a smidgen harder for the CIA to kill him.

  6. AlexinCT
    1. SandMan

      Pretty funny, but “he deployed pocket sand” went over my head.

        1. SandMan

          Thanks, I learned something today, time for a nap.

  7. Count Potato

    Remember when the MSM called Trump an insane cheese monster for saying St. Obama “wiretapped” his phones?

    Pepperidge Farm makes goldfish.

    1. Pepperidge Farm makes goldfish.

      Hrmm… nice change of pace from all the ePopcorn of late. Some variety in snacking is good when the circuses run on this long.

      1. straffinrun

        Want some dried seaweed?

        1. No thank you. I’ve not been a fan.

        2. Count Potato

          I like nori. I like kombu and wakame, but I soak them in water.

          Anything happen with that [redacted]?

          1. straffinrun

            I sent it to SP in an email. Maybe I’ll resubmit it directly to glibs because my email account looks like spam.

          2. Not Adahn

            you really should switch ISPs from barelylegalhotsexygirls.com

          3. straffinrun

            My site is barelyillegalhotsexygirls. I don’t get much traffic.

          4. Not Adahn

            Oh great, yet another FBI team has been assigned to monitor us.

        3. Speaking of dried seaweed, made sushi at home for the first time with my dad last weekend. Minus the rice being a bit under, it was delicious and not too hard! 8.5/10 would do again.

          1. straffinrun

            No reason for me to make sushi at home given it’s everywhere here and cheap. I’m guessing you made tuna and salmon?

          2. Tuna, Salmon, and mystery fish (we threw away the packaging and he couldn’t remember what it was)

          3. “Not for Human Consumption”

          4. straffinrun

            If you can get Yellowtail (buri) give it a shot next time. Even non sushi people can eat it.

          5. Not Adahn

            I find that veggie-based makizushi makes an excellent “salad” for boxed lunches.

          6. pan fried wylie

            I find that veggie-based makizushi makes an excellent “salad” for boxed lunches.

            Now if the baby carrot people could make carrot matchsticks…

          7. I did a few runs of sushi years ago (cucumber and tuna, mostly) but didn’t really keep up with it. It was fun, but I can’t do it better than the places a mile away or nearly as quickly. I’d rather spend the time smoking meat or sauteeing something.

  8. Rebel Scum

    During a press conference on Wednesday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) stated that Attorney General William Barr is “going off the rails, yesterday and today.”

    Pelosi said, “The chief law enforcement officer of our country, is going off the rails, yesterday and today. He is the attorney general of the United States of America, not the attorney general of Donald Trump.”

    Technically he, as AG, is subordinate to the president, no matter who the president is. Also, Eric Holder and Loretta Lynch could not be reached for comment.

    1. AlexinCT

      They are scared. Not only has their attempted coup failed (Mueller could not hang the obstruction charge the whole Mueller probe was about around Obama’s neck because after all that fishing they couldn’t find anything to even intimate the lie about collusion they peddled had any veracity other than if you looked at democrats, and especially high ranking Obama people & crooked Hillary), but now the other side – emboldened by the fact they see Trump fighting just as dirty as team blue does works – are coming for them. Worse yet is that there has been a massive campaign donation drop now that it is obvious team blue will not only not be able to pull off the coup, but has so destroyed their credibility that the 2020 election is Trump’s to lose. Not to forget that if team red actually goes through and starts exposing the criminal activities of the Obama admin, there will be a ton of team blue people scrambling to save their crooked asses.

    2. Drake

      Armed robbers hold up Buffalo Wild Wings; 1 victim pistol-whipped.
      https://www.kktv.com/content/news/Buffalo-Wild-Wings-in-Colorado-Springs-robbed-at-gunpoint-one-victim-pistol-whipped-507986831.html

      Hard to understand how this could happen as Buffalo Wild Wings is a “Gun-Free” establishment. Maybe the robbers didn’t see the sign?

      1. AlexinCT

        Hah hah hah…

        It’s almost as if the virtue signalling idiots are not able to understand that the shit they do only impacts law abiding citizens, and criminals won’t even be bothered to care or something….

        1. ElspethFlashman

          I went to Chicago over the weekend for the first time in 10 years or so – and almost every eating place I went into had the “no guns” sign (gun inside a red circle/slashed through). I thought it was odd, to say the least.

          1. AlexinCT

            I tend to avoid “no guns” zones, not just because I might be carrying, but because I am sure some asshat hell bent on mayhem will look for one of those places to do his thing, since the chances an armed citizen will take him out, is near zero.

          2. 🙁 I wish I could. My day job is in one of those designated victimization spaces.

            Hell, that describes most of the state anyway.

          3. AlexinCT

            Oh, my employer is a “no guns” virtue signaler (can’t do business in CT without), but I keep mine in a safe under my car seat when I go to work.

          4. Los Doyers

            The body shop I work at in south Columbus has a no gun sign on the front door, and one of the body techs last week brought in a whole chest of guns he was selling. Shop manager even looked at a few.

          5. In IL, you have to post that or CC people can come in and contaminate your sacred space with their evil totems!

          6. I noticed a few of those when I was in Nashville a couple of years ago. My wife pointed them out and was like, “See!” To which I replied, “Yeah, I’d assume that means that most people around here are carrying, otherwise why would you need to put up a sign?”

          7. Tundra

            Here, those signs don’t qualify. The law is very specific about the font size, etc.

          8. Pope Jimbo

            Make sure to to to the Gopher Bar in St. Paul if you ever get up that way.

            Great dive bar. They used to have a handwritten sign on the front door that said, “Please bring your guns and feel free to shoot any assholes like those who robbed us last week”

            The pic I linked to is their nicer fancier sign.

      2. Fuck that, I carry every time I go in our local Colorado BeeDubs.

        1. Atanarjuat

          Aren’t you worried that if you need to use your gun to save the lives of your friends and family, that afterward you might be found to have violated the terms of service and asked to not return?

          1. At Buffalo Wild Wings this would be the best of all possible outcomes.

          2. Private Chipperbot

            My beef with BWW these days is that it’s a $100 bill for a family of four for food and a few beers. In college, I could get some wings, and a few 22oz beers for $10 including tip.

            It’s expensive now and the food has always sucked, but it at least used to be cheap.

          3. That seems to be the case with a bunch of the cheap sit down places. You used to be able to get out of the place for about $40 for a pair of dinners and drinks. Now it’s $75.

            Heck it’s hard to get out of the drive through at less than $10/person these days unless you stick to the value menu.

          4. AlexinCT

            These price hikes have nothing to do with onerous regulations (such as minimum wages of $15/hr or high taxation/regulation) and is just these companies selling the same shitty product and trying to get moar profits!

          5. A hunge for four is decent bordering cheap around me. My issue is that I just wasn’t wild about the wings, although as I type this it’s probably just that the one in town sucks. I went to one in Blacksburg that was pretty good. Still a little pricey, though.

  9. straffinrun

    n a statement, Ecuador accused Assange of violating the terms of his asylum by ‘interfering in internal affairs of other states’ as well as ‘blocking security cameras’ at the embassy and ‘confronting and mistreating guards’

    I find it hard to believe Assange would be mistreating guards that are keeping him out of a US rape cage.

    1. Slammer

      They probably kept tripping over his piss jars

    2. That was not Assange, that was Gandalf the White…or maybe Howard Hughes????

    3. Brett L

      Wait, wait. You’re surprised that Julian Assange is an asshole who can’t help himself from being confrontational?

      1. straffinrun

        TBH, I’d respect him more if that part is true. I’m just thinking how I’d react if I were in his shoes.

      2. AlexinCT

        Oh, no doubt. But this also smack as if they needed to invent some excuses to get rid of the guy and not look like they finally caved in and threw him under the bus….

        1. straffinrun

          You gotta wonder what changed so suddenly. Cash payment from an intelligence service? Prisoner swap? Intel exchange? Tough to say, but Ecuador didn’t just up and decide, “This guy is leaving his socks on the floor, so he’s gotta go.”

          1. Count Potato

            Didn’t Wikileaks recently publish something about the Ecuadorian government?

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            They just received $4B from the IMF.

            The IMF doesn’t do anything without US approval.

          3. straffinrun

            Thats about $3.95B less than I would’ve sold him out for.

          4. $7.95B is an oddly specific number

          5. straffinrun

            It’s either my English or my math that sucks when I drink. You can decide.

          6. He thought $8B sounded pretentious.

          7. Raven Nation

            Ecuador’s president claimed he Assange was continuing political activities and cited Wikileaks releasing Vatican documents in January.

            And this: https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/world/2018/08/01/why-ecuador-abandoned-julian-assange/ is interesting.

  10. Rufus the Monocled

    “Todd continued, “It doesn’t matter what the truth is, does it? I mean, I hate to say this now, but that’s the whole point. It feels like that basically the attorney general gaslit the country.”

    Les mots justes….ah bien sur….

    GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.

    1. >> gaslit the country

      which is rich considering the muh Rooshin collusionz crap the press has been pushing out; almost (ha!) if they were disseminating FBI / DNC talking points.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Blows my mind. They pimped and pumped a lie and conspiracy with Russia to the point of calling for war. Does this asshwipe have no shame or honor?

        Know what else this crap showed? Trump is squeaky clean.

        1. AlexinCT

          Yup. The entire Mueller probe was about finding something they could hang around his neck and then go after him with obstruction charges, because Mueller knew from the start there was no collusion. People forget Mueller was part of the team that started the spying efforts on the trump campaign.

    2. Brett L

      Pure projection. The entire Russian Conspiracy probe ought to have been named Operation Gaslight.

    3. Drake

      Always the projection with the Democrats. Whatever they are accusing others of – Russian collusion, corruption, gas-lighting, sexual escapades… you can be sure that is exactly what they have been doing.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Les mots justes….ah bien sur….

      I didn’t realize you’re one of those Canadians.

  11. Rufus the Monocled

    “Pentagon awards a billion dollars in border wall construction contracts.”

    So what’s the rule by which they went around Congress fo this?

    How does the Pentagon fit in this equation? I thought it was Trump vs. House Democrats and Congress?

    Is it a scenario where the Pentagon can step in and flash the cash and claim it’s security issue so ‘fuck you’?

    1. Well, the legislation expressly permits the redirection of Department of Defense Construction funds to other defense related construction projects my the executive. So Congress gave the president the authority to go around congress by telling the military that “This project is defense-critical”

    2. Drake

      We do spend about a thousand billion a year on national defense. Now they are spending some of it on actually preventing an invasion.

    3. It stems from the “State of Emergency”.

  12. Count Potato

    “Shortly after his arrest, vocal supporter and former Baywatch star Pamela Anderson tweeted a black and white photo of Assange along with the caption ‘Veritas Valebit’, which is Latin for ‘the truth will prevail’.

    The 51-year-old, who claims she was previously in a relationship with Assange, said she was in shock at the arrest.

    Taking to Twitter she commented on his appearance and said he looked ‘very bad’.

    She said: ‘How could you Equador ? (Because he exposed you). How could you UK? Of course – you are America’s b***h and you need a diversion from your idiotic Brexit b*******. ‘

    She also called out the USA and described President Donald Trump as ‘toxic’.

    She added: ‘This toxic coward of a President He needs to rally his base? – You are selfish and cruel. You have taken the entire world backwards.

    ‘You are devils and liars and thieves. And you will ROTT And WE WILL RISE ✊.’”

    He’s been there since 2012, but this is all Trump’s fault?

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Don’t fuck with Canadians.

      Also. The UK is just ridiculous.

    2. straffinrun

      Trump is rallying his base by arresting Hillary’s nemesis?

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m guessing a couple of things:

      1) Trump doesn’t know jack-shit about Assange beyond what his apparatchiks tell him.
      2) The Permanent State wants Assange’s ass in a meat grinder for exposing them.
      3) The lobbying from the UK on Assange has been fierce since they’re up to their necks in illegal shit as well.

      1. AlexinCT

        The UK’s intel orgs were the ones working with team Obama’s people to rig the election. Any discovery process would expose not just that, but a slew of other real criminal shit they are doing to their own people.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Are you saying the UK are the Soros of nations?

          1. AlexinCT

            These days it reminds me of the dystopian totalitarian societies in the works of many of famous British authors that pointed out where the collectivist state would always end up.

            The UK went from being a beacon of liberty and individual rights to a shithole police state that would make people like Huxley and Orwell start spinning in their graves.

    4. Raven Nation

      There is a US extradition request, so maybe she’s referring to that? I don’t know how recent it is.

      But to add to “why would Trump do this,” remember, Assange claimed the Obama administration was pushing the Russia meddling narrative to deligitimize Trump.

      1. robc

        Maybe Trump wants him to have to testify to that in court.

        1. Atanarjuat

          Hopefully Assange gets off with time served.

          1. straffinrun

            Screw that. Can Pie and have him do the pressers.

          2. commodious spittoon

            MC the correspondent’s dinner.

        2. This is kind of what I’m thinking. I mean, the timing on this is just too perfect. By the time the extradition gets processed he’ll have had time to stew, offers will have been made, hearings will be getting ready to be underway.

          1. We can dream.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    I watched some teevee news yesterday, and the outraged sputtering about Barr’s “allegations” was quite impressive.

    Is there anybody who didn’t already know this?

    1. Atanarjuat

      The emporer’s robes are splendid!

    2. Old Man With Candy

      The part that bothers me is that Barr is just fine with spying on us little people. Not that an AG would ever be a hypocritical piece of shit…

      All praise to Amash who has called him out on this point, which is why Amash will always be a Team Red pariah.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re all in agreement on that point. The only dissenters are mostly powerless.

      2. grrizzly

        Nah, Amash is trying to minimize the enormity of crimes perpetrated by the Obama regime. He’s one of those libertarians who hate Trump much more than the hate mass surveillance. Amash played his role among other Deep State operatives when they staged hysteria after the Trump/Putin meeting last July.

        1. I had noticed that whenever a point was scored against the trumputin narrative, there tended to be a “well, ayctually” soundbite from Amash.

          I haven’t really cared enough to see whether he had succumbed to TDS or he was making a principled stand against all domestic spying.

          1. invisible finger

            Amash has TDS. He is much more afraid of losing his district to a Democrat than to a Republican challenger.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            Amash has definitely stuck to principle and criticized it irrespective of who’s doing it. Clearly, this upsets both the Progs and the Trumpies, which indicates to me that he’s doing it right.

          3. grrizzly

            To which principle did he stick here?

            The impression it left on me, a strong supporter of the meeting, is that “something is not right here.” The president went out of his way to appear subordinate. He spoke more like the head of a vassal state.

            Russians interfered in our democracy?

            Trump is the most high-profile victim of mass surveillance. By far. But instead of shouting from the roofs about the abuse of mass surveillance by the previous administration at the moment when half of the people (them, Trump supporters) are ready to listen, “professional libertarians” are ignoring and excusing it because orange man bad.

          4. Pat

            He took a similar tack with the whole emergency declaration hubbub. He had no objection to any of Obama’s 13 declarations of national emergency, including the one freezing the assets of anyone dealing with Yemen during the “peaceful transition”, but suddenly realized what a terrible abuse of power an emergency declaration constituted when it involved diverting defense funds to building an ostensibly useless and utterly ineffective, yet simultaneously dangerous and totalitarian, wall on the border.

          5. Old Man With Candy

            I’m too lazy to look them all up, but I clearly remember Amash standing alone to oppose Obama’s emergency declaration regarding Flint’s water supply.

          6. Old Man With Candy

            Oh, and another- refusing to sign the endorsement of Obama’s emergency declaration for the floods in Michigan.

          7. Old Man With Candy

            Amash-Conyers Amendment.

            Seriously, how many more do you need to rescue Amash’s opposition to Obama from the Trumpie memory hole?

          8. invisible finger

            Yep, grizz, that’s exactly what I was thinking of. There’s enough actual stupid, liberty-killing stuff Trump has done that he can be ripped a new asshole for, but to make a major twitter storm based on that press conference is just retarded. Amash may be principled, but he will happily play a TDS card when it suits him like any other politician.

          9. R C Dean

            I generally like Amash, and he’s probably reasonably principled for a politician, but that Twitstorm stinks of TDS. The President is “insecure about the legitimacy of his election”? Where the fuck does that come from, and saying it implies that his election was illegitimate. Trump “exonerating” the Russians? Its hard to exonerate Trump from a charge of colluding the Russians without also “exonerating” the Russians, isn’t it.

            He just displays the irritating twitch of many people to reflexively bash Trump at every occasion, deserved or not.

            As noted, a libertarian should be focussing on the DOJ/FBI/intel campaign to spy on, entrap, and generally attack Trump and his people, not on Trump’s tone during a fucking presser.

      3. Pat

        The part that bothers me is that Barr is just fine with spying on us little people.

        This is the same piece of subhuman shit that oversaw the Ruby Ridge fiasco, which started with unconstitutional surveillance on private property over a failure to appear, and ended with a woman’s head getting blown off her shoulders while she was holding her 8 month old baby. I hope he dies of stomach cancer after going into remission 2 or 3 times between treatment.

        1. Jarflax

          It’s all just the sharks biting each other in the frenzy as they feed on our liberties.

          1. That’s a good analogy

  14. Rebel Scum

    Many members of the media are criticizing Attorney General William Barr for stating under oath Wednesday that “spying did occur” on the Trump campaign ahead of the 2016 election.

    “This is completely devastating to our narrative!”

    1. Brett L

      I notice that nobody is calling it perjury.

      1. AlexinCT

        We should be worried that the way things are going with these people, sooner than later we will get to a point where any truth that hurts team blue suddenly will be labeled as a lie, regardless of how obvious the truth is. Barr pointing out that what happened was plain and simply an Obama admin sanctioned spying operation on Trump to allow them to help rig the election for Hillary (they were hoping that trumps people would fall for one of the many entrapment attempts these intel people set up but never could get to work), and the plebes knowing this is a serious detriment to these crooks.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “And what did he inspire you to do?”

    Hate white folks, of course.

    Which reminds me: there is a new poll out which proves (apparently) Trump has caused a massive deterioration of race relations in the country. He singlehandedly destroyed Obama’s legacy of a post racial America.

    1. I remember Obama’s America – those days of frolicking through the fields, hand in hand with every race, creed, and color. It was like a Coke commercial. ::sniff::

      1. Sounds an awful lot like Gamboling.

        *squints suspiciously*

        1. +1 White Indian

          1. Hercules Sauvgoin (spelling?) was the best; and his weird cat fetish.

          2. NEEDZ MOAR ALLCAPS!

    2. Suthenboy

      Ron Bailey has a sad.

    3. straffinrun

      Not come back.

    1. Not Adahn

      He’s still alive?

    2. I’ve always liked this weird clip from the T. Rex movie Born to Boogie
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0GEDbfKTIA

      1. and some bonus Ringo Starr

      2. robc

        “Get your head out of my damn piano.”

      3. Count Potato

        That was good.

    1. Drake

      Appears to be a stripper. The other girl looks like some random co-ed walking around the UNLV campus.

    2. PieInTheSky

      The one on the left is hotter

      1. Totally, although when it comes to the 70s jeans I’ve got to say I’m against them. The other girl has that weird lip thing going on. Either lip injections or she’s constantly making a duckface.

    3. SugarFree

      Chantel Taleen Jeffries Shiring is an American DJ, Youtuber and model.

      aka A Nobody

      1. Not Adahn

        Don’t you even influencer, bro?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    USA Today headline: Trump Brushes Aside Environmental Concerns, Signs 2 Executive orders to Speed Up Gas, Oil Projects (!)

    I couldn’t read it even if I wanted to, because adblocker blocker, but I going to go out on a limb and assume he has not eliminated environmental impact statements completely, but rather has put some sort of upper bound on the number of lawsuits which may be thrown into the path of such a project. Not allowing environmental activists to thwart anything they disapprove of (via endless litigation) is ignoring environmental concerns.

    It’s funny how many of the same people squawking about “infrastructure needs” will do anything possible stop stop an infrastructure project.

    1. AlexinCT

      You mean that SOB is doing shit that will create more jobs and speed up the economy instead of helping along the quasi-fascist state the leftists want so they can control who wins and who loses (in the process accumulating more power, wealth, and ushering in a new master-serf system)?

      BURN THE HERETIC!

      Fucking AGW cultists.

    2. Rebel Scum

      I work in development. People really have no idea about the level of environmental regulation we have to adhere to. Oil/gas is even more strict.

      1. AlexinCT

        Only way they can make the fringe green shit palatable is to strangle fossil fuels with regulations that drastically increase cost to the consumer and then give insane subsidies to the people peddling the green shit.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      It’s like the people who complain loudest about the lack of affordable housing and then do everything they can to block construction of new houses.

  17. Every MP in New Zealand Backed the Post-Christchurch Gun Ban… Except One
    Libertarian ACT Party’s David Seymour was the only MP to vote against a restriction on military-style weapons.

    The libertarian ACT Party’s sole MP, David Seymour, was the single person who disagreed with the rollout of the new laws. In a piece published by Newshub yesterday, Seymour suggested that “By banning all semi-automatic weapons, the Prime Minister made legal owners of such weapons pay a cost for something they had not done.

    “They are not bad people, and most accept the need for change,” he continued. “They could have been welcomed as part of the solution but legislating in nine days with scant regard for the usual process of public input and parliamentary scrutiny sent a message of contempt.”

    Seymour went on to claim that “there’s no reason to be confident the ban will make it harder for determined bad people to access dangerous weapons,” and that “Law-abiding gun owners are needed as allies in creating a safer country.”

    Being the single opponent to an anti-gun bill that’s rolled out in the wake of a terrorist attack might make Seymour look like a conservative—but his political history suggests otherwise. In 2015 he drafted an End of Life Choice Bill that sought to legalise Assisted Dying in New Zealand, and that same year became a member of a cross-party group initiated by Jan Logie to look at and advocate for the rights of LGBTQ people.

    1. Chipwooder

      1 thinking man, 119 sheep.

      1. robc

        I think that is the normal ratio in New Zealand.

    2. Pat

      If only he’d read some Cato policy position papers he’d realize that gun control is actually libertarian as fuck.

    3. Raston Bot

      i used to envision Kiwis as these hardened farmers descended from the dregs of Australia’s prison population. man was i way off.

      1. AlexinCT

        Progress and civilization make people soft. The snowflakes we have today complaining about all manner of idiotic shit happens because these people have no real life problems to deal with and can waste not just their time, but everyone else’s with this trivial bullshit.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I going more covefe.

  19. PieInTheSky

    Us sportsquestion (or maybe also northern Europe who knows)

    So on the interwebs I ran into the question: “who is a bigger legend in their respective sport Dwyane Wade or Martin Brodeur”

    I did not know what a Martin Brodeur was, seems to be a goaltender for stick and puck figure skating. I know literally nothing of the sport so my question:

    How important is the goaltender in the sport? I mean in Real Football it is pretty important, but when people talk of great players goalies are mentioned more rarely than other positions. Was there ever a hockey tournament won by great goalkeeping? Is the goaltender ever a legend in hockey?

    1. straffinrun

      Patrick Roy and Hasek were excellent in their peak. Wade was good but look at his teammates.

    2. There are many, many great goaltenders who have “stolen a game”, completely shutting out the other team.

      Terry Sawchuk, if you want to go old school.

      Dominik Hasek was legendary as was (the much hated) Patrick Roy.

    3. robc

      Goalies can be more important in hockey than in soccer. There are way more shots on target per game. The save rate is also way higher in general.

      There is a well known thing where an otherwise unknown goalie gets hot in the playoffs and leads his team to a big series upset by just denying the other team everything.

      And then the next series he is back to normal and more of a sieve.

      I don’t know if that helps. I am not enough of a hockey fan to judge Brodeur vs Wade, but considering I have heard of Brodeur and I never thought of Wade as anything that special (I mean, he was HOF great, but not one of THE greats), then I would have to lean towards Brodeur.

      Wade’s Mom should be on the Mt Rushmore of bad spelling.

      1. Chipwooder

        As far as the playoffs go…..Bill Ranford went nuts in the 1990 playoffs and easily played the best hockey of his life to help Edmonton to their only Cup without the Great One. Ron Hextall won the Conn Smythe (trophy for playoffs MVP) in 1987 despite being on the losing team. JS Giguere might have had the greatest run I’ve ever seen by a goalie, dragging the nondescript 2003 Mighty Ducks (Paul Kariya and a bunch of nobodies, Teemu Selanne had moved on to SJ by then) to a seven game Final loss to the Devils. Like Hextall, he won the Conn Smythe despite losing the series.

    4. Chipwooder

      The Dominator single-handedly carried a decidedly mediocre Buffalo Sabres roster to the Cup final in 1999, the one where they lost on the infamous Brett Hull skate-in-the-crease goal.

      Mike Richter pretty much stole the 1996 World Cup for Team USA. As a Ranger fan, I’m biased because he’s my guy, but when he was hot no one was better. He was REALLY streaky though.

      1. Raven Nation

        Richter/Messier 1994

      2. Breet Pharara

        A completely legal skate in the crease! LALALA can’t hear you. Go stars. Related, suck it Nashville

        1. heh – from Wikipedia:

          Brett Hull’s goal ended the series and the Stars were awarded the Stanley Cup. The referees did not seek a review from the video judge, although NHL officials said that they reviewed the tape several times. They subsequently told the incensed Buffalo Coach Lindy Ruff that although Hull’s left skate preceded the puck into the crease, Hull had continuous possession and the goal was legal. “The rule was absolutely, correctly applied,” NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said. “It was a nonissue. Everyone understands it was the right call.” NHL Director of Officiating Bryan Lewis said there was no crease violation because “Hull had possession of the puck when his skate entered the crease.” Coincidentally, Hasek and Hull would become teammates on the Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup winning team in 2002.

    5. AlexinCT

      So on the interwebs I ran into the question: “who is a bigger legend in their respective sport Dwyane Wade or Martin Brodeur”

      I think a more prominent sports question is who got hit on the chin by more ballz: Yogi Bera or Rock Hudson.

      1. Not Adahn

        More as in number of unique balls, or as in total number of impacts?

        1. AlexinCT

          Side by side pie charts?

          1. Jarflax

            I am sure Rock wins the ‘side by side’ competition. The total number of individual balls competition is in question, but Hudson clearly had more side by side simultaneous impacts.

    6. invisible finger

      To answer Pie: Important enough that, Brodeur being so good at his position, they changed rules to limit his ability.

      This is even more impressive than pro basketball putting in a much wider 3-second lane to stop George Mikan. At least in Mikan’s case the sport hadn’t been around that long, but pro hockey had been around over a century before implementing the Brodeur rules.

      Dwayne Wade? Are you freaking kidding me? Nobody changed ANYTHING to reduce Wade’s effectiveness. A better comparison is Shaq – the NBA dropped their zone defense ban to slow him down. And now the league is a boring slog of perimeter shots and no real defense, an abomination in a pro game.

    1. Count Potato

      And Q, apparently.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    $7.95B is an oddly specific number

    Much more scientific and believable than “a shitload”. It shows how thoroughly they analyzed the whole situation.

  21. Fatty Bolger

    Assange has always feared extradition to the US, where his lawyers have claimed he could face the death penalty for the mass leaking of highly-classified documents through WikiLeaks.

    It was accidentally revealed in November that Assange had been secretly indicted by the US Justice Department, but the exact nature of the charges against the 47-year-old was not disclosed.

    News of his arrest was praised by Home Secretary Sajid Javid, who said ‘no one was above the law’, while Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt added Assange was ‘no hero’ and claimed he had ‘hidden from the truth for years’.

    Secret indictments from secret courts, secret warrants, undisclosed charges… but yeah, it’s Assange who is “above the law” and hiding from the truth. More like exposing a truth they desperately don’t want exposed.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Indicted for what, espionage? He’s a journalist who passes along leaks. He has his faults, sure, but compared to the people who are seeking to nail him he’s a goddamn saint.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m waiting for the charges. I don’t see how they can charge a foreign national for non-crimes committed while not on US soil.

        1. Raven Nation

          Fox News is reporting that he’s being charged for assisting Chelsea Manning in breaching secured computers.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            He’d have to have provided Manning with physical assistance in some way, shape, or form for that.

            Did he give him a free thumb drive?

          2. Maybe some lawyers around this piece could offer some insight, but would it be a crime if Assange made an offer to Manning as to whatever data Manning might come up with? Like if Assange says to Manning, “Hey, if you do happen to come across any classified information I’ll host it for you on my website” is that a crime? Is that anything like, “Hey, if you happen to steal any jewelry I’d be happy to put you in touch with someone who will buy it from you” ?

          3. IANACriminalLawyer, but I’m guessing that would be conspiracy to disclose classified information.

            18 USC 371 + 18 USC 798

          4. Raven Nation

            Don’t have time to find the story again right now, but the charge involved helping Manning steal/obtain a password/key.

        2. Suthenboy

          Why do you hate America Scruffy?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    I notice that nobody is calling it perjury.

    “Don’t think you can go around saying stuff just because it’s true!”

    1. Count Potato

      He looks like Tom Hanks from that movie.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    The libertarian ACT Party’s sole MP, David Seymour, was the single person who disagreed with the rollout of the new laws. In a piece published by Newshub yesterday, Seymour suggested that “By banning all semi-automatic weapons, the Prime Minister made legal owners of such weapons pay a cost for something they had not done.

    There it is, in black and white: libertarians don’t care about you, they want you to die.

  24. Why Poverty Is Like a Disease
    Emerging science is putting the lie to American meritocracy.

    Over the past decades, though, that narrative has evolved. We’ve learned that the stresses associated with poverty have the potential to change our biology in ways we hadn’t imagined. It can reduce the surface area of your brain, shorten your telomeres and lifespan, increase your chances of obesity, and make you more likely to take outsized risks.

    Now, new evidence is emerging suggesting the changes can go even deeper—to how our bodies assemble themselves, shifting the types of cells that they are made from, and maybe even how our genetic code is expressed, playing with it like a Rubik’s cube thrown into a running washing machine. If this science holds up, it means that poverty is more than just a socioeconomic condition. It is a collection of related symptoms that are preventable, treatable—and even inheritable. In other words, the effects of poverty begin to look very much like the symptoms of a disease.

    That word—disease—carries a stigma with it. By using it here, I don’t mean that the poor are (that I am) inferior or compromised. I mean that the poor are afflicted, and told by the rest of the world that their condition is a necessary, temporary, and even positive part of modern capitalism. We tell the poor that they have the chance to escape if they just work hard enough; that we are all equally invested in a system that doles out rewards and punishments in equal measure. We point at the rare rags-to-riches stories like my own, which seem to play into the standard meritocracy template.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Poverty is the natural state of Man. Full Stop.

    2. PieInTheSky

      How can people doubt capitalism when it has allowed complete morons to actually spread their ideas over the internet?

      1. AlexinCT

        I always point out that the most fervent anti-capitalists tend to have made themselves quite a great living, many becoming millionaires, peddling the quasi-fascist socialism crap. Look at Micheal Moore, most of Hollywood, Fuaxhantas, Bernie Sanders, or for that matter any democrat politician. that the plebes they coerce to vote for them don’t see this shit and realize they are being played tells me that as a species we need a reset.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Fuck you, got mine.

          1. AlexinCT

            And I want to make sure only people I approve off get theirs, cause I can’t have riff-raff showing me up…

            Don’t forget that motivation. It is one of the big ones.

    3. Not Adahn

      I’m pretty sure that a Rubik’s cube thrown into a running washing machine will just get wet.

      And a running dryer would probably just break it into pieces.

    4. Pat

      I don’t doubt that there are psychological ramifications to poverty (and physical manifestations of those psychological issues), in large part because I grew up with a lot of people who exemplified them, and do myself to a certain degree. Learned helplessness experiments in animals are probably instructive. That doesn’t mean the adaptation is a pathology, much less that it’s insurmountable.

    5. Suthenboy

      What a big ol’ steaming pile.

    6. SugarFree

      Money will heal them. Ground money packed under money bandages. Liquid money injected into veins. Powdered money rubbed into bleeding gums and dusted on sore feet. Money tampons. A money hat and jacket to shelter them from climate change. A big money salad to help them magically lose weight.

      And if that doesn’t work, the only prescription is more money.

      1. Pat

        So it’s the same as the cure for AIDS then?

        1. Not Adahn

          I thought you cured AIDS by barebacking virgins? Or is it albino spleen?

          1. SugarFree

            Psych! It’s both!

          2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Splenectal intercourse with albino virgins?

            Sounds like HM’s got a new fetish.

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        I got a fever!

    7. Poverty predates capitalism by, oh, the history of life on Earth and elsewhere, presumably; capitalism has done more than any other economic system to reduce the severity and extent of poverty than any other economic system in human history.

      But there’s an interesting point the author accidentally makes. In a memetic sense, I think poverty is in some ways a kind of mental virus. Poverty seems to inspire in some a kind of mindset that keeps them impoverished and encourages societies or cultures that promote values and behaviors that tend to keep people in poverty.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Keeping you safe

    Nearly five dozen people were arrested in a Minnesota undercover sting operation for attempting to meet up with children for sex or for sex-trafficking of minors during last weekend’s NCAA Final Four basketball tournament, authorities said on Wednesday.

    Undercover agents from dozens of agencies in Minnesota spent Friday through Monday posing as children or sex buyers on various social media platforms. The agents chatted with suspects online and then arrested them when they arrived at an arranged meeting place for an encounter, the Minnesota Department of Public Safety said in a statement.

    A total of 58 suspects were taken into custody, while 28 victims, including one minor, were rescued from trafficking situations, the department said.

    ———–

    “This operation is an example of the aggressive steps necessary to stop traffickers and johns who buy and sell people for sex in our communities,” said Drew Evans, superintendent of the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.

    It involved more than 33 local and state agencies along with Homeland Security Investigations, a unit of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

    The nagging fear that someone, somewhere, is having a good time…

    1. STEVE SMITH HAVE GOOD TIME ALL THE TIME

  26. PieInTheSky

    UK government website sends people seeking advice on bees to escort service

    Domain of Bees’ Needs campaign now used by site offering ‘independent escorts’

    https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/apr/10/defra-unwittingly-sent-people-seeking-advice-on-bees-to-escort-site

  27. PieInTheSky

    The best $20,000 I ever spent: Starbucks every day of my adult life

    https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/4/9/18296792/starbucks-habit-millennials-money

    I’m in Starbucks right now, drinking what I always get: a venti iced coffee with hazelnut, soy, and caramel drizzle. – as someone who drinks espressos or v60, that sounds awful

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Who doesn’t love overpriced scorched coffee?

      1. Brett L

        The espresso is okay but not great. The regular roast is, I agree, burnt rather than city roast.

        1. AlexinCT

          Not to mention the hobo crowd you get to interact with!

        2. Tundra

          One of You People referred to the taste as ‘burnt ass’. I think that’s accurate.

        3. blackjack

          I had to get a coffee there last week, because my wife forgot to mention we were out. I usually drink Peet’s Major Dikinson’s Blend. So I had Starbucks, but I got there 2 minutes after they opened and surprise it was sorta OK. I’m sure it was because it was dead first of the day, because usually it’s “burnt ass” flavored.

    2. Rhywun

      Americanos for me – yeah, that sounds nauseating ?

    3. Pat

      You do you. Just don’t come pissing and moaning about how you’re a wage-slave infected by the disease of poverty and can’t afford to buy a house or a car.

      1. Count Potato

        Or get your teeth fixed.

      2. Endless Mike

        Or expect your student loans to be “forgiven”

    4. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

      Christ. At least spend the money on good coffee, not that crap.

  28. Brit killed in ‘sex game gone wrong’ pictured after Swiss hotel tragedy

    Anna Florence Reed, 22, was found dead at a hotel in Switzerland.

    Her boyfriend has told police she died accidentally following a sex game, reports local media.

    A post-mortem exam determined she died from suffocation.

    A German man, 29, who resides in Zurich, has been arrested and is currently in custody.

    Neighbours say they started to hear “screams and noises” that may have come from a dispute.

    1. Breet Pharara

      He involved a German in his sex game? Probably choked on his feces. What a shitty way to go.

    2. AlmightyJB

      What a waste.

      1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        No kidding.

  29. AlmightyJB

    BBC spinning for Medicare for all. The only way this works out is if it eliminates employer paid insurance and State insurance regulations and after this fails we end up going private insurance pay again without either of those things.

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-47821997

  30. The Other Kevin

    I thought it was crazy how people were so in love with Mueller, but I have to say I’m starting to like this Barr guy.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Wish Trump started with him instead of numbnuts.

      1. AlexinCT

        Trump had to play the game, because Mueller’s job was never to produce evidence of collusion (he couldn’t since the only collusion was between Obama admin people and the bad actors they used to try to entrap Trump and his people), but to find a way to allow them to charge him with obstruction. That died with Barr’s appointment (and the removal of that tool Sessions).

    2. AlexinCT

      The people that peddled the fake love for Mueller did so because they were promised and hoped he would deliver them the coup they wanted/needed so they could again go out into the world assured they were smarter than everyone else for believing the bullshit trope that the leftist elite peddle as a sign of intelligence. You know, thinking that we can’t drill ourselves out of an oil crisis or that nothing can happen without the explicit blessing of unaccountable and low intelligence/common sense government bureaucrats to prevent abuse of power.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Muellerism has to be one of the most unusual personality cults I’ve ever seen.

      1. Rebel Scum

        So you’re saying it’s no longer ‘Mueller Time’.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          The Krassenstein brothers are totally in it for the clicks. Pure cynics and opportunists.

          They’re horrible, but they’re not crazy.

    4. Pat

      He’s a monumental piece of shit, see above.

  31. Count Potato

    “ever since my daughter found out our plant, serena, wasn’t getting enough sunlight, she insists on taking her out for walks while holding her up to the sun.”

    https://twitter.com/queenxbean/status/1115332355554562048

    Your kid is an idiot.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      They name their plants? That’s not weird at all…

      1. AlexinCT

        Yeah, people taking a plant for a walk are weird because they also named said plant….

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I’ll walk my plants but I’ll be damned if I’ll name them. That’s a line I just won’t cross.

          1. AlexinCT

            Well played, sir!

    2. Plinker762

      They took it to a plant doctor?

    3. Brett L

      Home Depot had venus fly traps last weekend, so now each of my kids has one. I call them both Seymore.

      1. Not Adahn

        Not Audrey III and IV?

        1. Brett L

          Shit, that’s better.

    4. I’m confused by this entire thing. The (7 or 8 year old) kid walking the plant doesn’t seem all that weird. She sees the plant as a pet. Kids make all sorts of dumb connections like that. The kid is probably a little bit old to be making such connections, but not everybody can be top of their class.

      The naming of the plant is a little bit weirder, but seems to be in line with the kid perceiving the plant as a pet. If they name all their plants as a matter of fact, that starts getting into weird territory.

      All in all, I expected to see a 3 or 4 year old when I clicked the link. Also, who are these people?

    5. Michael

      I think it’s cute. When I was around her age I had briefly convinced myself that I was a robot.

      1. Then we applied that patch which corrected that bug in the self-awareness protocols.

      2. Count Potato

        Now you think you are a chimpanzee. You’re getting closer!

    6. MikeS

      I have a philodendron named Dave. I do not take him for walks.

      1. AlexinCT

        I hope you also don’t piss one em and tell em it is warm rain….

    7. I don’t know, it’s better than an elaborate array of mirrors. Anything that tires your kid out without injury or legal consequences is a net positive.

  32. LJW

    Florida driver accused of stopping for man to cross, then hitting him with SUV, arrested

    “A Florida driver who allegedly stopped to let a pedestrian walk ahead — only to later hit himwith his car while crossing — was arrested on Tuesday, according to officials.”

    I believe this is called the Florida Man bait and switch.

    1. AlexinCT

      This smacks of the “I never go through a green light in my town without slowing down and checking, because my brother might be running the red light” logic….

    2. MikeS

      Sounds like hot laps for Death Race 2000

  33. What’s Wrong With The United States?

    We have Ubu Roi Trump as US President and officially in control of the most awesome nuclear annihilation button on Earth. We are mostly galley slaves chained to our capitalistic economic and perceptual oars, implacably driving ourselves into the geophysical tempest of climate change. We have cracked the secrets of genetic modification and have let this incredible power be held by tight-fisted corporations only interested in their own financial gain. We have a growing infestation of measles, a disease that in 2014 was thought to be nearing extinction but which has since 2017 expanded due to a decrease in immunization, reflecting an idiotic anti-vaxxer superstition justified as a “protect-my-child” panic. Our infotainment media is a wholly-owned subsidiary of plutocracy, for the electronic diffusion of corporate propaganda against the public interest, and for the mass virtual pithing of the public mind.

    What is wrong with the United States? It is the failure of its people to unite with the vision of “with charity — and justice — for all, and malice toward none,” but instead to debase themselves into passive entertainment-dependent robots, or into ambitious careerists “led by their materialism and instinctive worship of power.”

    The United States Of America is both classist and tribal. These are the fault lines of American greed and politics. The varieties of American bigotry arise out of envy and resentment, from within our classes and tribes. The nation itself is big and powerful, but greatness eludes it because its people are unwilling to overcome their pettiness. Internally, the classes and tribes are fragmented by ageism and sexism, as well as by racism where a class or tribe happens to be multi-racial.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      “The only possible fix is the combination of attitudes and behaviors that emerge individually out of personal commitments to principled and thoughtful living”
      Sounds great!

      “, and then merge into a mass socialist consciousness, from which collective economic, social-humanitarian, technological and self-defense actions can be logically organized.”
      I’m afraid you lost me there though.

      1. Raston Bot

        collective self-defense to stop decentralized attacks? fuck off.

    2. . Internally, the classes and tribes are fragmented by ageism and sexism, as well as by racism where a class or tribe happens to be multi-racial.

      They’re usually not so direct about the link between marxist class conflict and racial divisions. Mainly because that’s literal no-shit nazism.

    3. Rebel Scum

      This person is all over the map.

      1. AlexinCT

        Word salad then?

        1. SugarFree

          More like a Shaggy Dog story, but without knowing the way to get there.

    4. MikeS

      I could only make it as far as “galley slaves chained to our capitalistic economic and perceptual oars” before my eyes glazed over.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Badgering the witness

    Education Secretary Betsy DeVos on Wednesday defended her agency’s move to roll back nationwide guidance meant to protect transgender students.

    During a hearing in front of the House Education Committee, civil rights subcommittee Chairwoman Suzanne Bonamici (D-Ore.) asked the secretary if she knew that harassment and discrimination can lead to poor academic performance and depression for transgender students when she rescinded Obama-era regulations that extended Title IX rights to the students and allowed them to use bathrooms corresponding with their gender identity.

    DeVos sidestepped the question at first, responding: “[The U.S. Office for Civil Rights] OCR is committed to ensuring all students have equal access to education free from discrimination—“

    Bonamici then cut her off, repeating the question.

    “Sorry, I would really like answer,” the congresswoman said. “Students and families need to know this.”

    “Did you know, when you rolled back the guidance, that the stress of harassment and discrimination can lead to lower attendance and grades as well as depression for transgender students?”

    “I do know that,” DeVos responded. “But I will say again that OCR is committed to ensuring all students have access to their education free from discrimination.”

    ———

    Bonamici later issued a statement saying she is “troubled” by the secretary’s answers.

    “The Department of Education has a responsibility to protect all students, but she acknowledged that she moved forward with a plan to rollback protections for transgender students despite knowing that it would put them at risk,” Bonamici said.

    “she rescinded Obama-era regulations that extended Title IX rights to the students and allowed them to use bathrooms corresponding with their gender identity.” As if that has no consequences, and will never result in stress and harassment.

    I love the way these “reporters” so credulously transcribe the assertions against DeVos while parading their professional scepticism in regard to every word she utters. Professional journalism, ladies and gentlemen.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You get more of what you reward.

      More special attention, more trannies.

      1. AlexinCT

        You are evil for stating the obvious….

    2. Raven Nation

      It also seems to me that Title IX & rape cases are twisting victims’ approaches. There was a story on ESPN this morning about a Michigan State student who claims she was gang-raped by three Spartan athletes. She is now suing the school for not following up on her charges. I have no idea of the truth or otherwise of the accusations or the Title IX shit at State. BUT, what struck me was that nowhere in the story – which quoted her on a number of occasions – did she or her family or attorneys ever mention that she went to the police. So, this victim (if her accusations are true) has been convinced by her school that the appropriate avenue for a claim of rape is her university’s Title IX office.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        This really pisses me off.

        It is a criminal, not contractual matter. Therefore, it must be handled by the police. As far as I’m concerned, the people who want to force the adjudication of crimes into the educational setting are actively advocating for political tribunals.

        1. AlexinCT

          Yup. The legal system has not yet gone fully woke enough, so they want a different venue where the mere accusation is enough to make the accused guilty.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          And independent police departments, not the captive hopped up security departments masquerading as campus police.

      2. invisible finger

        This right here is why I refused to “go away to college” when I was of the age. These people literally think college is a self-contained society rather than just one tiny element of the community. I fucking hated being cooped up in elementary and high school for 6 hours a day, what sort of human being with a functioning brain aspires to being in a larger-but-still-self-contained campus 24/7. That can ONLY accelerate group-think and narcissism.

        I went to a commuter school that required commuting between classes. 99% of the people on the roads, on the buses, and on the trains had absolutely nothing to do with the school and probably didn’t even know where its buildings were. That environment spurs the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

        1. R C Dean

          what sort of human being with a functioning brain aspires to being in a larger-but-still-self-contained campus 24/7

          It wasn’t my brain that wanted be cooped up with a bunch of 18 – 22 year old women.

          1. As the father of a daughter this is the reason I’m going to really sell the idea of two years at community college followed by two years at a commuter school. Or UMBC, because nobody actually has sex on that campus. They’re too busy being nerds.

    3. Rebel Scum

      depression for transgender students

      But indulging and enabling their delusions has no discernible impact.

    4. Rhywun

      In ’88-9 I shared a dorm suite with a guy who later went trans (don’t know how far he took it). He didn’t seem the least bit concerned about living as a man during most of the time I knew him. He didn’t need anyone’s “protection” nor did he seem “traumatized”.

      Anecdotal, I know – but I believe this narrative about “protecting” them is nonsense. I’ve never seen any evidence in real life that they need it.

  35. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Manuel Garcia, Jr, once a physicist, is now a lazy househusband who writes out his analyses of physical or societal problems or interactions.

    Nuff said.

  36. Count Potato

    “A former New Jersey teacher admitted in court to using a school email address to send a student X-rated messages, according to officials.

    Michelina Aichele, 30, entered the plea on child endangerment charges Wednesday in Somerset County Superior Court in Somerville, NJ.com reported.

    The former Montgomery Township High School teacher is accused of sending nude photos and explicit messages to a student between February and April 2018.”

    https://nypost.com/2019/04/10/teacher-who-sexted-teen-using-school-email-pleads-guilty/

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    1. Raston Bot

      NOT GUILTY

      1. Count Potato

        Nope. Not deciding until I see the pics.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    We have Ubu Roi Trump as US President and officially in control of the most awesome nuclear annihilation button on Earth. We are mostly galley slaves chained to our capitalistic economic and perceptual oars, implacably driving ourselves into the geophysical tempest of climate change.

    Wheeeeee!

    1. AlexinCT

      Cause a menopausal, delusional & narcissistic, and anger prone crooked Hillary would certainly have been a better custodian, right?

      These people are morons.

    2. creech

      I’d contribute to a GoFundMe campaign to buy this joker a one way ticket to socialist paradise of his choosing.

  38. Urthona

    Still pissed about the Assange thing.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Same here. Been pissed off all morning since first reading about it.

  39. Pat

    Teacher at Catholic London secondary school is suspended after it’s discovered he ‘CAN’T READ or write’

    Struggling to read and write was not enough to stop a teacher getting a job at a top secondary school.

    Faisal Ahmed was given the green light by elite teacher training program TeachFirst despite having ‘extreme difficulty with handwriting’, problems with reading and understanding ‘written tests’.

    Just days into his new job at St Thomas More Catholic school in leafy Wood Green, north London, he was summoned by the headmaster and suspended, reported The Sun.

    Mr Ahmed suffers from dyspraxia, a condition that affects co-ordination, and he told the headmaster Mark Rowland that he was unable to write for ‘more than a couple of minutes’ as his condition caused him too much pain.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If his name was John Miller I suspect he wouldn’t have gotten quite so far.

    2. LJW

      “Faisal Ahmed was given the green light by elite teacher training program TeachFirst”

      Ah TeachFirst, the Family Friendly Site, of teacher certifications.

    3. Chipwooder

      …Faisal Ahmed…..St Thomas More Catholic school….

      Something seems off here

      1. invisible finger

        Yeah, I’m surprised Britain allows anything to be named after Thomas More.

        1. Urthona

          You beat me to that joke.

    4. Rhywun

      “This newspaper has reached out to Mr Ahmed to offer him a position as features writer.”

      1. peachy rex

        Looks like Grauniad material to me.

    5. As long as he identifies as literate, ‘sall good.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Democracy in tatters

    On Wednesday, progressive Lisa Neubauer conceded last week’s Wisconsin Supreme Court race to Brian Hagedorn, a staunch Republican, ensuring that the state Supreme Court will have an entrenched conservative majority until at least August 2023. The political fallout from this result is hard to overstate: The conservative majority on the state judiciary is likely to rubber-stamp the gerrymandered Republican Legislature’s extreme power grabs while approving gerrymandered maps after next year’s census. This one race essentially guarantees that conservatives will dominate the toss-up state’s politics for years to come, no matter how Wisconsin’s voters actually cast their ballots.

    If I understand this correctly, the “progressive” lost the election, which proves the conservatives cheated,

    Have I got that right?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Stacey Abrams agrees with you.

      1. Count Potato

        Didn’t Michelle Strahan lose by over 50,000 votes?

    2. >>staunch Republican

      versus the non-staunch ones?

      1. +1 ghost of John “mah freyends” McCain

      2. Chipwooder

        The Susan Collinses of the world, yeah

    3. Rebel Scum

      no matter how Wisconsin’s voters actually cast their ballots.

      Now do the National Popular Vote Pact (or w/e it’s called).

    4. Gadfly

      The thing is, initial polling had the progressive comfortably ahead. They would have probably won that race had they not decided to insult the conservative justice’s religion, a religion he shares with a large portion of the voters. You can’t go doing something like that in a swing state, you have to wait until it’s solid blue to get away with that.

  41. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Firefox has banned the Dissenter extension:

    https://www.oneangrygamer.net/2019/04/dissenter-extension-removed-from-firefox-add-ons-gallery-for-abuse/81954/

    We can’t have people commenting on articles now, can we?

    1. tarran

      Yeah, I totally didn’t see that coming! 🙄

    2. Pat

      So how to register my disapproval, switch to Lynx? There’s literally 2 web rendering engines nowadays.

    3. Rhywun

      They just stopped hosting it. Article says you can get it from their website.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I suspect there’ll be an extension available for Brave and Opera shortly if it isn’t already. Chrome banned it too but that’s totally unsurprising.

        1. I’ve got it on Brave.

      2. Count Potato

        I’m sure it will break with the next update of Firefox, as FF now only allows “signed” extensions (unless you run the developer version).

        1. MikeS

          I just updated FF today and Dissenter is still there.

          Now, that doesn’t mean the next update won’t kill it. But, so far so good.

    4. SugarFree

      The Jew Hate shitshow in the comments of that article does not make a strong case for Dissenter or Gab or humanity in general.

      1. I’ve started frequenting Gab to see what the hubbub’s about, and to support the idea of a Twitter alternative. So far I’ve found that while, yes, there’s an astonishing amount of antisemitism and racism there, there’s also a lot of stuff like pictures of sunsets, or general political stuff, or memes you’d see, well, here, for instance. Judicious use of the “Mute” button is your friend, I think.

        On consideration, two things occur to me. First, it is indeed a good illustration of the principle that if you establish a venue where there is no regulation of speech you will necessarily attract all of the people who have been kicked out of the venues that do regulate speech. Second, when I look at Gab I see some stuff that I disagree with and some stuff I think is stupid and/or mean-spirited. This makes it exactly the same as what I see on Twitter or Facebook, it’s just that those places promote a flavor of bullshit that I despise, while Gab allows all flavors of bullshit to be spread willy-nilly, leaving it to the user to create their own filter.

        1. Brett L

          Letting people have a forum for posting hateful shit about groups seems like the equivalent of letting people with pedophilic urges have Real Dolls made up to look prepubescent. Sure only 2% of them were going to act on them, but if it gets it down to 1% isn’t that better on net?

          Although I don’t really like “letting” as the verb here. Society should leave them alone until they take concrete steps to enact a plan to harm someone. Full stop. The above argument is just a way of rationalizing to slavers that they shouldn’t make slaves of these people in this way.

          Last thought, glibertarians.com is dedicated to a principle that private individuals should be able to express any opinion they want without the government prohibiting them, but not necessarily here.

          1. Well the big difference I see between the two approaches is that Gab leaves it to me to decide who I do and don’t want to hear from, rather than making that choice for me. Twitter has the same functionality I believe, but there are Twitter users who have put pressure on the management to take it a step further and ban *other* people from seeing things the complainers find objectionable. And presumably Twitter’s own people don’t hate the idea of banning people they don’t like from the platform.

      2. Rhywun

        Good lord. The perils of free speech, I guess.

        But IMHO it reflects badly on that website. I bet a lot of threads there devolve in a similar manner.

        1. SugarFree

          True.

      3. hate_speech

        I started reading the comments, and thought: “What is SF on about, this all seems f- Oh…Oh no”

    5. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

      Welp, that tore it. Last straw. I’m now commenting via Brave. I should’ve done it a while ago, after the Mozilla foundation tried to memory-hole Brendan Eich.

      1. MikeS

        I tried Brave once, but didn’t care for it. Although, I can’t rememeber why at the moment. I’ll have to try it again.

        Can you set up an account and sync bookmarks with Brave? I really like that about FF…I know others do it, too, so I assume Brave must…?

        1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

          Still figuring that out.

          It does have an account thing. Syncing bookmarks I have no idea, but if you’re going to have an account, I don’t see why not.

          Right now it looks like a cleaner firefox, so that’s nice.

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Yup, it has sync. It’s in beta though, so who knows how reliable it is.

        2. ChipsnSalsa

          you only need one bookmark.

          1. MikeS

            No one needs 183 bookmarks!

  42. PieInTheSky

    goddam how much shit accumulates in a house. I am renovating my apartment and am carrying as much as I can in the attic. I will probably throw half of it away after. should have done it now really but did not plan for it, is till need to do some sorting

    1. AlexinCT

      If you moved it, you will not throw it away…

      1. PieInTheSky

        I will though

      2. invisible finger

        Depends on how many times you moved it. The more you move it, the more likely you will throw it away.

    2. uh – stop accumulating so much stuff?

      ::tries fruitlessly to hide his record collection::

    3. R C Dean

      Why not throw it away now?

  43. Gadfly

    AG Barr confirms “Spygate”

    Good.

    AG Barr to take federal approach to pot.

    Also good.

    This might actually be a half-decent AG, which is the best that can be hoped for.

  44. mexican sharpshooter

    Well, I don’t have much going on today.

    Dear Glibby: Should I go shoot something?

    1. As long as it’s not me, my property, or anyone I care about, go right ahead.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        If it is?

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          #notserious

        2. Then no, you should not go shooting anything.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Dear Glibby: Should I go shoot something?

    Make use of the gift of the gun. Go forth, and bang.

    1. Rhywun

      ?

    2. Rebel Scum

      So you’re saying be fruitful and multiply.

      1. Jarflax

        Penis = evil
        Gun = good
        This is basic Zardozality.

  46. Pat

    Russian Family Flees to Poland as Sweden Gives Kids to Muslim Foster Parents

    The Swedish social services’ decision to place three Christian girls in a Muslim Lebanese family has resulted in an international scandal, involving Poland.

    After the Swedish social services attempted to place Denis Lisov’s three children in a Muslim foster family, the Russian father took his daughters and fled Sweden, unleashing a thriller-like sequence of events.

    Europe is still doing swell.

    1. AlexinCT

      The serfs will learn their place, or else!

    2. Private Chipperbot

      There’s your plot for Taken 4. What’s Liam Neesen up to?

      1. AlexinCT

        Avoiding the angry mob that wants to get him for saying he would be mad that someone related to him was raped by a minority and he would go out looking to cause that guy harm?

        1. Chipwooder

          I could be mistaken, but I think where he went wrong was saying he felt like kicking the ass of any black guy he saw, not just the specific guy.

          1. AlexinCT

            Sounds right…

          2. That was it. And in the same breath he said that it was a totally irrational response brought on by intense emotion, and that he regretted feeling that way. And he came to this conclusion without the assistance of Millenial harridans on Twitter, because he’s a normal human being.

  47. Sensei

    Reason 1,001 to avoid the Japanese criminal justice system at all costs…

    Paywalled – Link – Latest Ghosn Search Exposes Japan’s Feeble Attorney-Client Privilege

    TOKYO—Among the unusual features of Japan’s justice system that have emerged in the Carlos Ghosn case, add this one: Prosecutors can seize and examine his communications with his lawyers, likely without consequences.

    Ghosn pissed of one too many powerful Japanese people when he wanted to merge Renault and Nissan under French control.

    1. I was under the impression Japan’s courts ran on a “Guilty until Prove Guilty” schema that got high conviction rates, but had a poor track record of accurately capturing real offenders.

      1. robc

        I think you are confusing the Japanese with the Cardassians.

        or maybe not.

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          I mean, Robert Kardashian did help OJ get an acquittal.

          1. robc

            Wrong Cardassians.

            I have long been amused at the similarity of the names.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Learning this was what helped me finally understand why in Phoenix Wright you have to pull out all the stops to prove your client innocent and show who the guilty party is. The prosecution usually doesn’t have much evidence there.

    2. Chipwooder

      Ah yes, as every US serviceman stationed in Japan learns in the SOFA brief they give you when you first get there. You never, ever want to be charged with a crime in Japan. You WILL be convicted.

  48. Juvenile Bluster

    Off Assange and onto people who do deserve federal prison:

    Michael Finnegan
    ‏ @finneganLAT

    Breaking: A federal grand jury in California has indicted Michael Avenatti on 36 counts. US Atty Nick Hanna & the IRS are holding a news conference in Los Angeles at 9am Pacific time.

    1. Count Potato

      HA HA

    2. Rebel Scum

      Busta.

  49. cyto

    Mark Warner

    @MarkWarner
    Mr. Barr knows how counter-intel investigations work. He knows there was ample evidence of Russian attempts to infiltrate the Trump campaign and that the FBI took lawful action to stop it. Giving a wink and a nod to this long-debunked “spying” conspiracy theory is irresponsible.

    This whole pedantic discussion is stupid, but you have to be mentally I’ll to believe that trying to infiltrate the Trump campaign and wiretapping the Trump campaign is “trying to stop Russian infiltration” of Trump campaign.

    If that were the intention, it could have been accomplished with a phone call.

    1. AlexinCT

      Except that the “counter-intel op” these people claim was going because they had evidence of collusion started before the intel agencies involved had the FBI go get permission to conduct them (because US citizens, who just so happened to be directly connected to the Trump campaign) which started the investigation. The FISA was obtained on 6/31, but the spying was going on for at least a year before and trying real hard to entrap these people….

      1. LJW

        6/31? They add an extra day to June without my knowledge?

        1. Not Adahn

          Wait, you’re using that calendar?

          *suppresses a snicker*

        2. robc

          April Ludgate thinks there is a June 31.

          “30 days hath September, April, March and November”

          1. MikeS

            “30 days hath September, April, March June and November”

          2. robc

            And that is how you end up with 93 meetings on March 31.

          3. There’s nothing special about March 31. We’ve had things scheduled for as late as March 46.

            (They had to be in the previous fiscal year, and thus could not take place on or after April 1.)

          4. AlexinCT

            Typo…

            Fat fingered…

            7/31

    2. Private Chipperbot

      Russian attempts to infiltrate the Trump campaign

      Um. Did he just admit there was no collusion? Trump should retweet that and thank Warner.

    3. Chipwooder

      Mark Warner is a cunt,

      1. Rebel Scum

        I hate my state’s senators.

    4. Michael

      I just had a fever dream thought of how hilarious it would be if it was revealed that these Russian attempts at infiltration were the result of an FBI honeypot campaign all along.

    5. R C Dean

      That’s such obvious bullshit. If the FBI was really trying to stop Russian infiltration, they would have told the Trump campaign about it and enlisted their help. Not tried on multiple occasions to entrap Trump people with bogus offers of Russian dirt on Hillary.

      1. cyto

        That is exactly the point.

        If you actually believe that the Obama Administration was attempting to protect the Trump Administration from being infiltrated by Russians, you have to be literally insane. It might be a limited and temporary form of insanity, but there is no rational way to actually believe that.

        Forget all of the rest of the Shady stuff that was going on. Pretending for a moment that every word that we are told about what the Obama Administration was doing is the truth, at a minimum their behavior is still inexcusable. Because if they are trying to protect American citizens from Russian spies, the first thing they should have done is contacted the American citizens to warn them about what was happening.

        But that is just the minimum, and that assumes that a lot of things we know about are simply coincidences. Like the fact that the Russian that members of the Trump campaign met with at the famous Trump Tower meeting was an attorney who also just randomly happened to be working with Fusion GPS. Now, that may just be a coincidence. But it is a pretty damn curious coincidence. And since that is the only Nexus other than things that were planted by FBI spies, it makes one wonder if the entire Russia conspiracy wasn’t originally a Clinton campaign operation funded through Fusion GPS.

  50. PieInTheSky

    I have friends who bought a house in Dutchland and the distance between floor and ceiling is 2.45 meter. Seems real low to me. Especially since they tend to be tall.

    1. 8 feet is fairly standard height for ceilings.

      1. PieInTheSky

        i have 3 meters and i like it tall.

        1. In our last house, we had a cathedral ceiling in the living room that got up to 12 ft at the peak. It made the room feel significantly bigger. Bitch to clean the ceiling fan, though.

          1. kinnath

            The ceiling in my dining room is 17 ft.

          2. Someone forgot to put in the floor for the upper story.

          3. kinnath

            It was intentional.

            I have an office space that looks out over the dining room.

            The dining room is on the south side of the house. The 17 ft ceiling provides a lot of windows on the southern wall for passive solar heating in the winter.

          4. Oh, you did it wo you’d have a blacony from which to lord over your dinner guests.

          5. and make kingly proclamations!

          6. MikeS

            You know who else stood on a balcony and made proclamations to a crowd?

          7. Gadfly

            Oh, you did it wo you’d have a blacony from which to lord over your dinner guests.

            What point is there in having a monocle unless you can use it to look down on people from a balcony?

          8. kinnath

            Oh, you did it wo you’d have a blacony from which to lord over your dinner guests.

            I can sit at my desk and look out through 3 sets of 6 ft tall windows at all my neighbors that are downhill from my house and imagine the cool things a trebuchet would accomplish.

        2. Rhywun

          2.6m here.

          1. A bunch of braggarts around here.

          2. Private Chipperbot

            My ceiling may be short, but my walls are wide.

          3. My ceiling is perfectly adequate for my partner’s needs. Or so she tells me.

    2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

      Mine is 36″. But that’s okay, I can just prop open the flaps if I want to sit up.

  51. LJW

    Mission accomplished?

    https://imgflip.com/i/2ybjcx

  52. The Late P Brooks

    In ’88-9 I shared a dorm suite with a guy who later went trans (don’t know how far he took it). He didn’t seem the least bit concerned about living as a man during most of the time I knew him. He didn’t need anyone’s “protection” nor did he seem “traumatized”.

    Anecdotal, I know – but I believe this narrative about “protecting” them is nonsense. I’ve never seen any evidence in real life that they need it.

    I am utterly baffled by the whole thing. It’s not “about sex”, right? So… some guy likes to do “girl” stuff, like design dresses, or who knows what? He can’t just do that, without making a three ring circus out of it?

    1. Tejicano

      A couple years ago I realized that what I dislike about the current state of gender/sexuality politics has nothing to do with what they do with their genitalia. What I disagree with is their requirement that the rest of us not just recognize but celebrate what they do with their genitalia when I could not care less about it.

      1. From the IT Crowed episode “The Work Outing”

        Jen: You’re not comfortable with your sexuality?

        Roy: I’m comfortable with my sexuality. I don’t wanna be slapped in the face with their sexuality.

      2. ^This. I honestly could not care less about what other people do with their bits. Literally anything else in my life is more important to me than that. So, you know, fuck off with the pronouns and the bathrooms and whatever, because, as I say, I do not have the time or interest to give the tiniest of fucks about it. Don’t ask or expect me to validate your choices, strangers.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Trying to convince mentally ill people that they’re not mentally ill, and that people should and will treat them as the genuine article, is the most cynical and damaging aspect about this.

      3. It’s the whole Marxist class conflict thing. You can’t claim oppression on sexual preference/identity lines if you’re not thrusting it into the public eye.

        The totalitarians can’t use the guy in my department whose only indication that he’s gay is mentioning his boyfriend in casual conversation. They need the intern I worked with whose brain was filled with intersectional mush and who thought she was oppressed, despite coming from a family where the hardest decision she had to make was whether to drive the Lexus or the BMW to work, and from which house.

  53. AlexinCT

    They used the FARA act to bag Manafort, and now what torpedo is circling back to get them….

  54. Juvenile Bluster

    Things that are pissing me off right now besides Assange: A friend of mine is being falsely (there’s no way in fuck he’s guilty) accused by two of his adopted daughters (he adopted 5 kids, all siblings, from a really shitty situation, all when they were 2-6 years old) of sexually molesting them. There’s no evidence anywhere, but he’s been out of his house for over a month while CPS does their thing (no criminal charges).

    Redacted names here:

    [wife] finally had a talk with [daughter] today. She asked her why she thinks I’m the one who did this to her. [daughter] said, that she didn’t know, then she asked if she ever has to see me again. [wife] said that I am moving to [nearby state] with everyone, and that I am still her parent whether she likes it or not.

    She then said that [daughter] was growing increasingly frustrated at the conversation and told her that she ‘wont ever talk to me or do anything I tell her to do ever again’. [wife] retorted that she has the mind of a 12 year old, and that’s exactly how she’d expect a 12 year old to react. [daughter] got pissed and stopped talking.

    There’s a long and bumpy road ahead of us.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Crimony, that’s dismal.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      A lot of adopted kids resent the hell out of their adoptive parents for some reason, especially during their preteen and teen years.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Normal teenage years + adoption baggage = not surprising.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          That makes sense. I was adopted at birth and disliked my parents as a teen but not because of the adoption and I didn’t have any baggage really.

    3. Urthona

      So why the false accusations then?

      1. AlexinCT

        Power grab usually.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Two reasons:

        1. When foster/adopted kids have suffered severe trauma before being adopted (and they did), it comes out in the teenaged years

        2. This, with some more context:

        In early January, I discovered that [daughter] had a secret gmail account. [wife] was out of town at the time. When she was away from her iPad, I went through her all of her mail and forwarded the mail threads that had not been deleted to our family account, so that I could read them later. I spoke with [wife] shortly after discovering the threads, and informed her that I had forwarded them. She and I both started reading through them.

        The context of the threads were one-upmanship type messages. My parents suck because of x, my parents suck because of y, etc.. She had been emailing some guy that [wife] and I had never met, and someone who we had told [daughter] she was to no longer contact because she had become a really bad influence on [daughter].
        [wife] asked me what one of the paragraphs meant. In that paragraph [daughter] had alleged that I ‘did horrible things to her when she was 5, 6, and 7’, and that I had choked [other daughter], etc.. The entire statement about [other daughter] was a complete fabrication, and therefore I believed the rest was as well. I told [wife] that I had no idea what [daughter] was talking about, and that I was shocked and beside myself.

        [daughter] and I had it out over that accusation the same evening, by me asking her what it had meant. She kept telling me that ‘you know what you did’, and asked me what to tell [wife]. I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about, and was getting extremely irritated that she wasn’t giving me details. I remember telling her that I have never, and would never tell her what to tell her mother. We make sure our kids own the words coming out of their mouths. It had gone in a circular pattern for a while, and I kept telling her to go to bed, but she wouldn’t let it go. By this time, the other kids had been in bed, but could hear our discussion and were wondering what was going on. [daughter] went to bed, I chatted with [wife], and told her that [daughter] would talk to her the next day, and that I had no idea what she ([daughter]) was talking about.

        [wife] came home really late that night. She and I went to bed.

        In the morning, I was getting ready to leave for work, and saw [wife] ask [daughter] what she meant by what she claimed I did to her. [daughter] said something to the effect of I was caught up in the drama, and made the whole thing up. I kissed [wife] and went to work. In the meantime, I set her email up to auto forward to ours, but think [daughter] stopped using it all together once she knew that we knew about it. For all I know, she could have created another one.

        Fast forward to March 6th. [son] is in Life Skills talking to his life skills teacher about things, and mentions a fight that [daughter] and I had. The Life Skills teacher asks [daughter] about it. This was late morning I’m guessing. [wife] texts me that she will has to run out and take [daughter] to an appointment and will be home around supper time. I texted [wife] to ask her what was going on, and she said she couldn’t talk about it. [wife] texted me that she was heading home. About 5 minutes before [wife] got home, I received a phone call from the Police Department asking me to come in for a talk. I asked them what it was about, and they said they’d tell me when I got there.

        I went to the police station was asked into a room, and told that I was free to leave, and that the door was unlocked, and that I was not under arrest.
        There were 2 police officers in the room. One was the school officer, and the other was a detective. The school officer sat across from me, while the detective sat off to the side. They offered me water. The school officer then proceeded to tell me that [daughter] was interviewed at a ‘safe space’ and told CPS that I had sexually abused her. They told me that the CPS worker had ‘substantiated’ the claims. They then proceeded to tell me about each incident one by one.

        I was in shock, and traumatized. I was also completely destroyed. They left the room for a few minutes, and then came back in doing the good cop/bad cop thing. I vehemently, and respectfully, denied everything. I have never done any of what they claimed I did to [daughter], or anybody else. Ever.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Forwarding a bunch of secret emails and sharing them with your wife without worrying that it might contain easily the biggest secret a young person could have does not strike me as the actions of a guilty man.

          1. I don’t know, I’ve run across some dumb criminals.

            (For the record, I do not believe JB to be guilty of anything except unauthorized access of a computer account)

          2. Juvenile Bluster

            I promise you, this is actually a friend and not a “friend”

            My daughter is a bit hyper but that’s about it.

          3. I missed the initial comment and only read the long quote.

          4. commodious spittoon

            JB‘s friend

            Well, it’s the Kavanaugh thing, isn’t it? Nobody molests just one kid just once. It would be an ongoing problem. And it’s not like a guy would just forget that Oh, right, I do that really fucked up thing because I’m a pathological monster.

          5. commodious spittoon

            I molested my close tag and now it won’t do what I tell it.

          6. Now I will find what account JB hacked into. One must exist, he will be convicted!

            *loses motivation, wanders off*

          7. commodious spittoon

            He called on the Russians to hack the account!

        2. Gadfly

          Do you think that she’s making it all up, or that she is applying memories from before the adoption to afterwards?

        3. invisible finger

          “[son] is in Life Skills”

          There’s the abuse right there.

    4. Chipwooder

      That’s horrible. My late uncle went through a similar experience when his unfortunately-not-late wife tried to accuse him of molesting one of their daughters. He was cleared but went through all the same shit as your friend.

      1. Is it bad that I want fake accusers to be liable for exactly the criminal and civil penalties that their victim would’ve had to endure had they been wrongfully convicted?

        1. wdalasio

          Not as bad as me, probably. I’d like them to ineligible to file the same complaint for ten years. Essentially, I’d give the world license to do to them what they’d falsely accused someone of doing.

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          No.

        3. That should be the standard penalty for filing a false accusation.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Ditto police lying in reports or testimony.

          2. Gadfly

            ^This^
            All attempts to frame people should be dealt with harshly.

    5. Gustave Lytton

      Huh. A 12 year realized she can use CPS complaints as a weapon against her parents if things don’t go her way. Who woulda thunk it?

    6. The Other Kevin

      All our 3 kids are adopted, and the oldest (now 21, adopted at 7) once accused my wife of trying to kill her by choking her. The accusation came about 10 years after the alleged incident. Luckily we had a great therapist who sat us all down to talk about it. The final take was that a) she told nobody, and there was no physical evidence of it b) she continued to live with us and feel safe in the house, even thought she was convinced someone there tried to kill her c) there are such things as false memories – she also had no memory of things we remember very clearly. So it was extremely unlikely the event happened.

      After all this discussion, she was still 100% convinced it happened just as she described it, despite there being very little chance of that. But she’s that way about a lot of things. She has a very distorted view of the world, and I think it’s because as a child she grew up in a terrible environment which stunted her emotional and cognitive development.

      My point is, you never know what happened to an adopted child early in life, and sometimes those things can mess them up literally for the rest of their lives. So always keep that in mind.

      1. R C Dean

        very little chance

        I think you mean “no chance whatsoever”, unless you think your wife maybe did try to kill her.

      2. AlexinCT

        My son is adopted as well, and he once threatened to run away or call CPS. My ex almost had a heart attack. I told him to go ahead and do it, which surprised him. When he asked why I would say that, I pointed out that the best lesson and way to end people feeling entitled or acting spoiled was to actually make them feel the real pain. I asked him where he thought he could have it better than he had it at home. It registered quickly and he never went there again.

        1. R C Dean

          “Call CPS? Sure. Here’s the number. We’ve been talking about trying to set up a craft room for you mother, and I think your bedroom will do just fine.”

          1. AlexinCT

            LOL! You reminded me of the time when he was 6 and was gonna run away in winter. i helped him pack his bag and told him he could take all that stuff I paid for as a gift, then escorted him out the door. He rang the bell about 2 mins later and almost in tears asked me to let him back in. That shit only worked with my ex.

          2. R C Dean

            Pater Dean did pretty much the same thing with me. Only he gave me a lift to the edge of town. I started walking down the road, and didn’t turn back. He finally called me back, since 5 year old me was too stupid/stubborn to figure it out on my own.

        2. Tejicano

          And I don’t know/care if your son ended up a neurosurgeon – that was definitely the best and most valuable lesson he was ever taught.

          1. AlexinCT

            Heh, funny you should say so Tejicano , because he tells me frequently that his mother – my ex – coddled him and shielded him, while I told him there were no excuses (he is dyslexic) and it was me telling him to not be a victim and to work his ass off that has left him way ahead of his peers/friends.

  55. Urthona

    Got a kick out of this before the Nashville/Dallas hockey game last night.

    Pay attention to how the PA guy announces Big & Rich

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=U4kPLxLgQsg

  56. Private Chipperbot

    Woman charge for attack on racy Easter display.

    A New Jersey woman who used garden shears to destroy her neighbor’s racy Easter display has been charged with criminal mischief.

    The display at a dental office in Clifton, New Jersey, featured five mannequins dressed in lingerie, all holding Easter baskets and surrounded by Easter eggs. It had drawn mixed reviews from neighbors, as well as passers-by who stopped to take photos.

    1. Those are some long legs.

    2. Rhywun

      That sounds like a dental office I’d be comfortable with.

    3. Count Potato

      HAWT

    4. Pat

      Putting the ‘rection’ back in resurrection

    5. Chipwooder

      So it was Jennifer Aniston’s office from Horrible Bosses?

    6. Gustave Lytton

      Easter Jesus; he is “risen”.

      1. Tejicano

        Which Jesus are we talking about? I grew up with about 30 guys I know personally who are named Jesus.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Looking for one with nail marks, so start with the ones doing framing.

          1. Tejicano

            “Joo got some planing to do here Lucy!:

  57. Fatty Bolger

    That CNN headline made me laugh: AG Barr drops ‘spying’ bombshell in hearing, provides no evidence

    Oh, NOW you care about evidence? LOL

    1. Rhywun

      They’ve been doing that “without evidence” thing to anything a non-leftist says for years.

      1. cyto

        Yeah.. It is definitely a talking point. They went to a new push on that about a month or two back.

        The nice thing is that you can tell which claims they thinkhave merit… Any remotely close call is instantly deemed a lie, so if they go with “did not produce documemted proof actually during the conversation” as a takedown, you can bet they believe it is true.

        Besides which, we know that they wiretapped the campaign and sent at least two people who had no affiliation with the campaign to infiltrate and both plant stories and try to get dirt. Nobody claims otherwise. They just dither ofer terms like “spy” and I am sorry, but if you are not a part of an organization and you attempt to penetrate that organization to get information, you are a spy.

        Informants are already on the inside.

  58. wdalasio

    The first two stories. Assange and Spygate. It’s funny. It was the people at the very center of Spygate who’d convinced the public that we need to throw Assange in a cage. Maybe, if there’s some modicum of justice in the world (well, if there actually was justice, Assange would walk, but at least a modicum might not be too much to hope for), Clapper or Brennan will be Assange’s cellmate.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    I think we all know what needs to happen next

    Three weeks ago, 21-year-old Fabjan Alameti moved from New York City to Bozeman with plans to buy firearms and allegedly use them in an attack on the U.S. Court documents imply one reason Alameti came to the area is the ease – compared to other states – of purchasing a gun in the Treasure State.

    “I’m going to Montana and gonna buy a gun since all they need is a background check and ID,” Alameti allegedly wrote to an FBI informant in March.

    On April 3, the Albanian national was arrested without incident at Zero In Indoor Shooting Center in Bozeman by the FBI. Alameti had gone with an informant to allegedly rent and practice using an M1A rifle. He had allegedly talked about plans to attack random civilians to “avenge” the mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand last month, which left 50 dead, many of whom were Muslim.

    ——-

    The list of Montana residents that aren’t allowed to own guns is fairly short, since Montana is a shall-issue state. According to the United States Concealed Carry Association, shall-issue means that “as long as an applicant passes the basic requirement set out by state law, the issuing authority (county sheriff, police department, state police, etc.) is compelled to issue a permit.”

    Over the two weeks he was in Bozeman before his arrest, Alameti visited a pawn shop and the Walmart in Bozeman attempting to purchase firearms. He was told that he had to have a Montana drivers license and was turned away.

    However, Alameti did succeed in purchasing an air pistol and ammunition in a Billings Walmart. You do not need a permit to use an air pistol if you are above the age of 18.

    Oh, the dystopic horror. He was able to buy a BB gun without a background check or a license. Who knows, the problem might have resolved itself, if he had pointed it at the wrong person.

    I don’t know much of anything about this story. The guy tried to buy a gun and couldn’t. But he did manage to attract the attention of those crack FBI counterterror guys. I assume they were going to set him up with their standard Mad Bomber kit.

    No gun. Not even in Montana, where there are high pressure salesmen on every street corner. This proves we need to be more like Massachusetts.

    1. wdalasio

      He was able to buy a BB gun without a background check or a license.

      Hey, don’t knock it. You could shoot your eye out with one of those things.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      He could have bought an M1A in New York state with just his license and a background check.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Clearly we need to ban air-rifles.

  60. Count Potato

    I think the 8th Amendment should be amended so it doesn’t include false accusers and telemarketers.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Come and get it, sheeple

    New Zealand police expect tens of thousands of firearms to be surrendered in a guns buy-back scheme after parliament passed tough new firearm laws in the wake of the country’s worst peacetime mass shooting.

    ——–

    Police Deputy Police Commissioner Michael Clement told a news conference on Thursday that they are not sure how many guns they would receive as New Zealand has no law requiring people to register firearms.

    “Its a great unknown question…everybody appreciates that there is no register of firearms with regards to the type of firearms we are talking about,” Clement said.

    “So It could be in the tens of thousands, it could be more,” he added.

    ———

    Clement said details are being worked out of the gun buy-back scheme and he urged gun owners in possession of the prohibited firearms to register online.

    Yeah.

    1. I hope they get a bunch of metal tubes nailed to 2x4s

      1. I’m sure we could make one of those work as a black powder blunderbuss triggered by handheld matchcord.

    2. I’ll get right on that, once I’m done organizing my lint collection. I’ll be right there – promise!

      1. Something something sheep fucking accident. Something something guns all lost.

    3. R C Dean

      guns buy-back

      *grinds teeth in rage*

      1. Tejicano

        I have no problem with that. I will consider selling back all firearms I own which were previously owned by the government. The rest of them? Hm, what was that statement Leonidas issued to Xerxes? Something about YOU come and take them?

    4. Raston Bot

      “I expect 100 per cent compliance. I keep being told by the firearms community that these are law-abiding, fit and proper people. Through no fault of their own, the legislation has changed and they want to continue to be law-aiding citizens.”

      https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12221411

      that is a fucking insane notion here in the states where gun-control compliance rates are estimated to be in the single digits.

    5. Rebel Scum

      Its a great unknown question

      Indeed. But I’d wager on a low compliance rate.

      1. Rebel Scum

        gun buy-back

        I hate this term. It is not a “buy-back”. You cannot buy “back” something you never owned in the first place. It is compensated confiscation.

  62. Pope Jimbo

    There is one exception to Minnesoda Nice. It is entirely acceptable to gloat when you get sent to a pointless conference in Sunny Tampa (or anyplace warm) during the last blizzard of the year in Minnesoda.

    Suck it Minnesoda!

    Now, if only I hadn’t gotten a touch of food poisoning last night. Stupid sketchy Tampa sports bars.

    1. Spartacus

      You should pay a surprise visit to Brett L while you’re in the neighborhood. He won’t suspect a thing.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Too late. I already warned him and he’s planning some raw seafood to go on top of that bad burger

    1. peachy rex

      OTOH, Intuit has an incentive to make a decent product. The IRS does not. And mother of God, can you imagine the multi-billion dollar ratfuck an IRS-designed portal would be?

  63. Count Potato

    “Scientists in southern China report that they’ve injected macaque monkeys with extra copies of a human gene suspected of playing a role in shaping human intelligence. And that it made the monkeys smarter.”

    https://twitter.com/annafifield/status/1116174568199159811

    https://www.technologyreview.com/s/613277/chinese-scientists-have-put-human-brain-genes-in-monkeysand-yes-they-may-be-smarter/

    What could possibly go wrong?

    1. Planet of the Apes – here we come. I just hope I get put in a cell with a buxom brunette.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Even better is if that buxom brunette can’t talk, amirite?

      2. Chafed

        I thought EF is your buxom brunette.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          She’s his lawyer. She’ll get him out of that rape cage. Hopefully not too quickly… 😉

    2. The monkeys will gain a hunger for knowledge and interpret it literally, biting through the skulls of the scientists to feed upon their brains?

    3. wdalasio

      How long until the Democrats demand they be given the franchise.

      1. AlexinCT

        UNIONIZE THEM MONKEYS!

        1. Rhywun

          Fight for 15 ?!

    4. MikeS

      I once spent an hour one hungover/still drunk Sunday morning with my brother watching a documentary about macaque monkeys and laughing every time they said “macaque “.

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      Something something could, something something should?

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I believe this is the plot of 28 Days Later. Now we just need some Gaia First morons to free them from the lab.

    6. “damn you, damn you all to hell!!”

    7. Creosote Achilles

      I am not worried about some macaques. Humanity is the greatest apex predator to ever exist. We have domesticated those animals we find tastiest and farm them in industrial styles so that even the poorest of the poor can afford to have not weekly meat, not daily meat, but meat at every meal. Other predators who get in our way or try to impinge on our territory continue to exist only because we choose to allow them to. If those macaques are smart, they’ll watch their little monkey-ass step or they’ll find out what the mastodon and the tasmanian devil found out; you do not fuck with humanity.

      1. AlexinCT

        What if they decide human burgers are the best and start offering free shit to lure people to their abattoirs?

        Oh, wait. That might actually solve a lot of problems…

    8. Tejicano

      “…report that they’ve injected macaque monkeys…”

      Monkeys. Dafuq? It never ceases to amaze me how people think there is some relation between apes and monkeys just because both have opposing thumbs. They are about as genetically distant as canines and rodents.

      1. robc

        See also, fish.

        Cladistics has made the entirely category of “Fish” obsolete.

  64. Pope Jimbo

    Ugh. I’m stuck at a conference full of IT folks from govt education departments. As a taxpayer I’m incensed at the apathy and ignorance.

    On the other hand, my itch to start a new consulting group to fleece these folks has grown considerably.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Need to get a gig as a head of some state education IT agency to make those connections first. Do that and you have clients lined up out the door, regardless of your actual performance.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I don’t know if I could take being the Chief of a tribe of govt IT workers. I know I would snap and try to fire all of them after some of them whined about how hard their job is.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Clearly. Natural response should be to increase your empire by demanding more bodies be added.

    2. robc

      Consider this: aren’t you glad the competent ones aren’t working there and are in private practice instead?

  65. Gadfly

    Seen on The Rising Wasabi (a parody news site): “Feminist Gaijin Insists On Being Referred To As A ‘Girljin’”. I got a good chuckle out of that.

    1. Tejicano

      I’m waiting for the first homosexual to demand the title “Gayjin”.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I doubt the nihonjin will bend over backwards for the homosexual lobby like Americans did

    2. Sensei

      Plus you get your pick of many pronouns that are both usually gendered and non gendered!

      No need to make them up like English to aJapanese pronounsttract attention and victim status.

  66. R C Dean

    Celebrity lawyer Michael Avenatti was slammed Thursday with a 36-count indictment by a federal grand jury in California that accuses him of ripping off clients — including a mentally ill paraplegic — tax crimes, wire fraud, bank fraud, and perjury.

    What a dirtbag (assuming the charges are true, and he’s such a dirtbag that’s the way to bet).

    1. R C Dean

      Feh. Linky.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Posted about it this morning.

      The feds are not going to fuck around with something like this.

  67. Juvenile Bluster

    This man once wrote for Reason.

    Dave Weigel
    ‏Verified account @daveweigel

    If we’re doing this “Bernie’s millions” thing…

    1) Sanders never implies that being a millionaire is de facto a problem. Problem is that they have too much political power.

    2) Comb his speeches, he rarely says “millionaires and billionaires” anymore, just “billionaires.”