Friday Morning pre-Sabbath Links

In our new reality, it’s no longer Judge Wapner at 8, it’s the elderly Jew at 7. But have no fear, because… ok, maybe have some fear. Well… not fear, exactly, more like trepidation. OK, not really trepidation…

Many happy birthdays today, starting with one of my personal heroes, David Hume; one of my favorite writers, A.E. van Vogt; my favorite fiction writer (and erstwhile subject of a Jewsday) Bernard Malamud; and portrayer of Gus Fring and Mike Giardello, Giancarlo Esposito.

On to the news.

 


 

Making Chicago look better, one grift at a time.

 

This is my shocked face.

 

I am soooo buying popcorn futures.

 

Easier way: tell the Chinese, “They’re delicious! Come and get it!”

 

“Snitches get stitches! Brawwwwwwk!”

 

Team Red, totally doing God’s work and not worrying about fringe partisan bullshit. Riiiight.

 

White supremacist racist professor outrages College Democrats at DePaul. For your amusement, here’s his faculty web page.

 

Climate change: kill the birds, tuppence a bag.

 

What Great Britain needs is common-sense cyanoacrylate control.

 

Spudalicious hardest hit.

 

Flying the friendly skies.

 

News from an actual sport.

 

This explains Twitter.

 

“Florida” is derived from the Seminole word meaning “Where people go to die.” But not before making incredible nuisances of themselves.

 

Banjos, outed!

 


 

Old Guy Music is the Sun Ra Orchestra without Sun Ra. Yeah, it looks like a Leisure Village reunion, but holy shit there’s some amazing playing here. And especially by Marshall Allen, who would be as famous as Coltrane if he hadn’t plied his trade in the avant garde but worked in more accessible genres. That fucker was NINETY ONE YEARS OLD!

 

Comments

348 responses to “Friday Morning pre-Sabbath Links”

  1. Pope Jimbo

    I would have thought a Brazilian parrot would have had its feathers plucked to give it a smooth appearance. Nope. Look at that unruly plumage.

    1. blackjack

      Well, he is a drug dealer look out parrot.

    2. Plucked and not waxed off?

    3. Pope Jimbo

      I hate to be “that guy”, but I’ve never gotten a first before. Several official h/t at TOS, but never a first. Could I get one of those fancy #1 gif’s I always see?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Way to reward whining and sniveling!!!!

        Expect more of that.

        1. Fourscore

          Yep, Minnesoda Nice Snobbery. Keep it up and you’ll find out

          /Minnesoda Glib Voters/

        2. You got the dorkiest of all “1s”…

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Well I may be the dorkiest Glib, so it all works out.

  2. “Spudalicious hardest hit.”

    ..and what is Count Potato? Hash browns?

    1. Old Man With Candy

      He doesn’t Count.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      He’s a pretentious aristocrat who believes he was chosen by doG to rule over others. A real Dick Tater.

      1. leon

        You need to be careful talking about him like that. He’s got Eyes all over.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I’ve got a fast getaway car. I’d just peel out and escape.

          1. *continues to narrow gaze*

          2. Not Adahn

            Swiss does his best to mash any pun threads.

          3. Pope Jimbo

            I know these puns bug Swiss, but he could handle it better.

            It is upsetting when he sits there rubbing his temples screaming “It’s not a tuber!”

    3. Rhywun

      Take a load off with this steaming pile of horseshit found in the sidebar:

      As the wealthy continue sucking the country dry, the question now isn’t if the US will cease to provide a decent standard of living for its people. Rather it is how many people will be sacrificed on the way down.

      It may even be too late for Bernie to swoop in and save us.

      1. ron73440

        poor people get minor infraction notices which seem to be intentionally designed to quickly explode into unpayable debt, incarceration, and the replenishment of municipal coffers.

        That’s the only part of the article that makes any sense, but oddly enough her solution to the government screwing poor people is to give the government more money and power, somehow that will fix it.

        I was going to read the rest of it, but my brain started hurting again.

        1. Rhywun

          Every example she gives is evidence of the government fucking over Americans, but she is too worshipful of the state to get it.

  3. “Florida” is derived from the Seminole word meaning “Where people go to die.” But not before making incredible nuisances of themselves.

    The obvious solution is to get rid of the government mandate.

    1. Suthenboy

      Or the battery chargers

    2. WTF

      “People need to realize ‘disability’ is broadly defined,” Shiotani said, adding that anyone who can walk only a few steps or even a few blocks is protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

      Yet another example of the Bush family fucking the nation in the ass.

  4. straffinrun

    Westworth United Church minister Loraine Mackenzie Shepherd had planned an interfaith prayer vigil for Thursday to respond to the incident at Bermax. After consulting with members of the Jewish community, the church decided to cancel the event, she said.

    Just change the sign for the vigil. “The Anti (Fake) Hate Crime Vigil”. Why would you cancel it just because it was a different dirtbag than you thought?

    1. Not Adahn

      Isn’t the United Church the one where an atheist was suing to be a bishop?

      *checks* not a bishop, just a minister who removed the Lord’s Prayer from the liturgy and said that belief in God causes hatred and killings.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gretta_Vosper

  5. Rebel Scum

    Winnipeg police Chief Danny Smyth said Wednesday the attack was staged.

    “The anti-Semitic graffiti and vandalism were also falsely reported as being done by outside suspects,” Smyth said.

    “We found evidence of a crime. It just wasn’t a hate crime,” said Smyth, adding the police expended considerable resources investigating and took the report seriously.

    Certainly the perps white-privilege will get them off the hook.

  6. Nephilium

    If you’ve ever flown Spirit or Frontier, you’d know they are far from friendly (and to avoid them in the future).

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I flew Spirit once. ONCE.

      The biggest problem with budget airlines is they are filled with budget customers.

      1. Nephilium

        Same here. I flew Frontier once. Never again.

      2. This.

        I use United because Denver is a major United hub, and so United usually has the best flights, and I have status on United. I also have enough award miles that if United ever puts a flight to Saturn on the schedule, I could probably go there on miles.

        But with that in mind: If they started offering a few routes where they charged, say, a 10-15-25% premium to have on select flights:

        1) Nobody under 21
        2) Economy Plus seating on the whole plane
        3) No animals (small-a animals, not capital-A Animals)

        I’d pay extra for that.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I used to be a United 1K. I dumped them after they got big into the Global Services thing- my upgrades kept expiring because I could never get one, the GS would snag all of them. It says a lot about UA when a 200,000 mile per year customer stops flying them and they never notice or bother to ask why.

          SW gets every bit of business I can give them. Far and away my favorite these days for domestic travel.

          1. SW sent me drink tickets before one of my flights… For the hell of it. I wasn’t business select or anything, just an occasional repeat customer. They’d have to screw up pretty bad to get me to fly another airline.

          2. I’ve never sat on a SW flight. I need more international stuff than they do. My in-laws have switched over to them from Frontier, after Frontier screwed them over a few times.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            It says a lot about UA when a 200,000 mile per year customer stops flying them and they never notice or bother to ask why

            High mileage isn’t necessarily either high value or high profitability. 200k+ miles and not cracking $40-60k is you’re probably buying discount or deep discount coach fares and not buying a lot of premium cabins. If you left post-Continental takeover, well, they had a lot of problems, lots of customers left, and Smisek DIGAF.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Delete extra I in there

          5. Pope Jimbo

            The stats I remember from the ’90s when I was doing a lot of development in the airline industry was that 15% of the fliers were generating 80% of the revenue.

            Business travel is where it is at. People who buy based on their schedule as opposed to price.

            “I don’t care how much it costs, I have to be in Detroit at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning, get me on a flight”

            I’m going to guess that the numbers have moved somewhat since then (because airlines no longer are willing to fly half empty routes just to offer more flights to the business travelers).

            But yeah, OMWC if you were smart enough to book early and look for a deal, they don’t give a shit about you.

      3. robc

        And yet, Southwest is a joy* to fly.

        *well, at least not annoying

    2. Raven Nation

      The wife usually flies Frontier when she comes to town but only because their fares on that route are so cheap.

      Frontier could be the subject of a business school paper on how to wreck a good company in 5 years or less.

      1. Tundra

        They used to be fine. Same with Sun Country. For super short flights, maybe, but I’ll take SW over the others.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I love SW! And not because they just sent me a bunch more free drink tickets last week.

          1. Tundra

            A few more nonstops from MSP would be great but I’m not complaining. Also, being able to leave from Terminal 2 is a treat. 30 seconds to park, 30 seconds for security and a gorgeous concourse.

            Yep, love me some SW.

          2. Nephilium

            Add me to the list of Southwest fliers. I’m trying to convert the girlfriend, but she still prefers United for some unfathomable reason. Of course, she doesn’t care about leg room, being under 5 feet tall.

          3. WTF

            Not a big fan of United, but I fly them because they have the most direct flights out of Newark, and they’re usually okay.

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            FinnAir or GTFO

            Unfortunate lack of destinations though

  7. Private Chipperbot

    The immigrant had previously been deported from the U.S. and not permitted to return until 2027, according to the court filing. After ICE learned of the individual’s arrest narcotics and fugitive from justice charges, the agency issued a detainer on him, authorities said in court.

    MacGregor then allegedly used his access card to open an exit, allowing the individual to be released while the ICE officer remained in the courthouse lobby.

    Immunity…revoked.*

    * note to Alexa, Siri, NRA, NSA, FBI, Preet – this is just a jokey video of a guy saying diplomatic immunity. It is not a threat to any real persons.

  8. Tundra

    The singer Morrissey, formerly of the Smiths, lamented that “idiots rule the earth” and said the plan was akin to killing two million miniature Cecil the Lions.

    Shut the fuck up, you hack.

    People who hunt and trap cats are convinced that they learn immediately. Once trapped, they are nearly impossible to capture again. Once shot at, they elude the hunter’s tricks. One of Hodgens’s cats, named Barnaby (after the former deputy prime minister of Australia), managed to evade recapture for months after he was collared. “I have the utmost respect for that cat,” Hodgens told me during a scouting mission on Kangaroo Island to locate Barnaby using a radio antenna. At one point, on a seaside crest as dusk fell, we heard Barnaby’s collar beeping. He was just over the beach dunes. “He’s like my nemesis!” Hodgens said. “I know him inside out, and I’ve got enormous amounts of respect for him. He’s smarter than I am.”

    Cats are gonna win this one.

    1. Bowls of antifreeze.

      1. SugarFree

        Cats cannot taste sweetness like dogs can, so are not as drawn to it.

        1. Voice of experience?

  9. straffinrun

    A student coalition called for DePaul University in Chicago to censure Philosophy Professor Jason D. Hill and for him to issue a public apology for an op-ed he wrote on Tuesday about Israel annexing the West Bank.

    We joke about struggle sessions, but damn if they aren’t just around the corner.

    1. WTF

      “Apologize for stating an opinion we disagree with!!”
      And this shit has come to be treated as normal and justified among at least half the nation. We are doomed.

      1. They had a whole 181 signatures on a petition. I am putting “we are doomed” on hold for now…

        1. straffinrun

          It’s not just one incident, though. Might be confirmation bias, but I’m seeing normal people getting fired (Demore etc) for simply telling the truth as they see it. The US isn’t at UK level thought police, but you gotta start somewhere.

        2. WTF

          You’re ever the optimist.

    2. Not Adahn

      In case you were wondering why Prof. hill would be relevant to libertarianism, here’s the title of one of his books:

      Becoming a Cosmopolitan: What it Means to be a Human Being in the New Millennium

      1. Jarflax

        From his bio:

        He is deeply committed to Moral Foundationalism, Moral Universalism and the absolutism of reason.

        I think we have room for him in our tent if he means that.

        1. Not Adahn

          Someone should tweet his info to Gillespie.

  10. leon

    Isee even even the UK airlines have the same great customer service we know and love

    1. If you search the various Brit tabloids for stories about the cheap flights to Majorca… prepare to wince.

  11. Private Chipperbot

    Re: real sports. The reaction to the Raiders pick was pure gold. I’m sure there are hilarious photos of Giants fans as well.

    1. WTF

      Yeah, there was no reason to take Jones with the first pick, he would have still been available if the Giants had used their first pick for the defensive help they need.

      1. On the other hand, it will be fun to hear the Giant shills that infest NY media spin how this was brilliant and the Jets were the “same old Jets”.

        1. WTF

          The NY Post is saying “Giants’ Daniel Jones pick is an utter disaster on so many levels “.

          1. robc

            It is like they think he is the 4th Manning brother or something.

          2. WTF

            They actually do think he’s another Peyton/Eli. Hopefully they really do know a lot more than I do, and they will prove my pessimism to be unfounded. They still could have gotten him with a later pick, and gotten immediate defensive help with their number 6 pick.

          3. Yeah, when they made that pick I was just like, “…huh…” As a Skins fan, it put us in a good position for Haskins, though, so I love the pick.

      2. robc

        They were worried about Washington taking him at 15.

        But still, trade down to 11 or 12 and take him there and get some more picks.

        1. The Redskins were always going to take Haskins if he was still there. The connection with Snyder’s kid, the local boy bit, plus he’s the kind of quarterback Gruden likes, supposedly. I honestly think that if they didn’t get him they’d either have traded the pick for Rosen or picks in next year’s draft.

    2. The Packer fans I know aren’t particularly happy either.

  12. Atanarjuat

    They awoke next to the remains of a campfire or, occasionally, in a roadside motel, and in the darkness before dawn they began unloading poisoned sausage from their refrigerated truck.

    Album name?

  13. Fourscore

    “Not ‘Lucid’ Enough To Make Decision About Resignation”

    Sounds like every politician I’ve ever seen, starting at Township level. Could have stopped at “Not Lucid”

    1. Festus

      Hey Fourscore! I really enjoyed your article yesterday. Nice work!

      1. Wait until next week!

        *waggles eyebrows*

    2. MikeS

      Sounds like every politician I’ve ever seen, starting at Township level.

      Hey!

      Signed,
      MikeS
      [REDACTED] Township Supervisor

      1. Atanarjuat

        Do you abuse your power to tyrannically leave people alone?

        1. MikeS

          Yes. I call the plow operator when it snows and otherwise do just about nothing else. Oh, and at this year’s tax equalization meeting, I dressed down our assessor for raising property values on some homes by too high of a percentage.

          1. leon

            My mother is on her HOA board. She’s trying to convince her board to fire the guy who does their snow removal and lawn Care case he doesn’t keep up his end of the contract. The rest of the board are apparently spinless or indifferent.

          2. Tonio

            Or getting kickbacks…

          3. Or preferential service…same thing.

          4. Fourscore

            Snow plow guy comes early on week ends and any day when there is less than inch of snow, before it has a chance to melt. $20 bucks is $20 bucks plus overtime

          5. Tonio

            Congrats, Mikey. Damn, that’s one Glib elected official. Two, and they’ll think we’re just faggots and won’t take either of us. But three, three people and it’s a movement…

          6. MikeS

            The Glibertarian moment is within our grasp!

          7. Private Chipperbot

            I was, for a time. My company decided they didn’t want anyone in gov’t so I had to quit. It was zoning board of appeals, I approved everything, and made the old farts, who were a bunch of NIMBY jackasses, nuts.

    3. blackjack

      Reminds me of that mafioso who strolled around NYC in a bathrobe, pretending to be insane so he could avoid facing charges. It worked for years.

  14. Tonio

    “Dr. Hill was educated at Purdue University. His areas of specialization are Ethics, Social and Political Philosophy, Cosmopolitanism…

    Serves him right, then.

    1. straffinrun

      I vigorously studied my sister’s Cosmo magazines when I was in Jr. High. I’m a philosomapher!

      1. Festus

        Those things were pretty racy back in the 70’s. Mom’s copies always went missing for reasons unknown.

    2. As somebody who has a somewhat strong familiarity with Purdue’s poli Sci program, good on him if he came out of that program as anything but a dyed in the wool commie.

  15. Tundra

    Phil Trathan, a penguin expert with BAS who co-authored the report, said “it is impossible to say whether the changes in sea-ice conditions at Halley Bay are specifically related to climate change, but such a complete failure to breed successfully is unprecedented at this site.”

    “Even taking into account levels of ecological uncertainty, published models suggest that emperor penguins numbers are set to fall dramatically,” he said, adding that the penguins are likely to lose between 50 percent and 70 percent “of their numbers before the end of this century as sea-ice conditions change as a result of climate change.”

    We can’t say for sure what’s really happening, but we’ll go ahead and make some dire predictions that no one will be able to hold us to, because we’ll all be dead.

    This science thing is easy.

    1. blackjack

      Someone has to do the impossible. Damn they’re good!

      1. blackjack

        BTW, in the Harley world, there used to be a saying that went “if I have to explain, you wouldn’t under stand.”

        Well one day, in a magazine, they had a caption contest and it was a picture of a guy in a black harley shirt pointing at some penguins. You can guess the winner.

        1. Sean

          Burgess Meredith?

      2. Festus

        Funny how most of the breeding population just pulled up stakes and moved somewhere more conducive to furthering the species just like any critter will do if necessary.

    2. leon

      So I’m supposed to stop driving cause of a couple of broke dick penguins

      1. Atanarjuat

        ^winning comment

      2. Pandas of the Sea.

        1. MikeS

          Mmmm…sounds delicious.


          1. Penguins is practically chickens…

    3. Pope Jimbo

      What got me is that they buried this down in the story.

      “The colony at Halley Bay colony has now all but disappeared, whilst the nearby Dawson Lambton colony has markedly increased in size, indicating that many of the adult emperors have moved there, seeking better breeding grounds as environmental conditions have changed,” the researchers said.

      So they moved? Huh, it is like they adapted or something?

      1. Tonio

        [golf clap made possible through anatomical adaptation of ancestors]

    4. Suthenboy

      I am gonna go with the safe bet:

      They are lying.

      1. Atanarjuat

        Yeah, it’s already unraveled hilariously as His Holiness pointed out above.

        I’m getting quicker at these. I didn’t figure Colony Collapse Disorder for a scam until about 75% of the way through the documentary.

  16. WTF

    “Phil Trathan, a penguin expert with BAS who co-authored the report, said “it is impossible to say whether the changes in sea-ice conditions at Halley Bay are specifically related to climate change, ”

    But we’re going to imply it anyway, because “muh narrative”.

  17. Rebel Scum

    “It’s bizarre we have to do this in order for governments to listen to scientists,” Diana Warner, 60, told Sky News.

    Its bizarre that your religion is green marxism environmentalism.

    Speaking of religion, some Mormons showed up at my house* last night. I told them I am a Satanist. Their reaction was “Oh, that’s interesting”. Then they proceeded with the “have you heard the good word” spiel. I was trying to be polite so I said I had to get back to cooking dinner and they left.

    *I feel kinda bad about the satanist thing because Mormons are so nice. But please don’t bother me during the work week (or any other time…).

    1. leon

      Satanist is pretty weak. The best I heard was a guy telling us to go away because he had just murdered his GF and was chopping up her body. Gave me a good laugh.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I always invite them in for a beer.

        1. Suthenboy

          I dont have any beer so I have to go with food.

        2. Last time they visited, we were prepping for a party with most of the pastors from my church attending. I invited them, but they were unfortunately otherwise obligated.

      2. straffinrun

        Alright, I’ll bite. Give us the greeting that would cause them to flee in horror.

        1. “How interesting…I am a Scientologist. Let me get you a copy of ‘Dianetics’”

          1. Rebel Scum

            Actually, I like that idea as a trolling measure.

        2. Nephilium

          None. They’re too nice and polite, it’s like kicking a puppy. But, you could always try this (link NSFW).

          1. Not Adahn

            It’s amazing how getting married to a dangerhair and having a kid has shifted him to the woke direction.

        3. Private Chipperbot

          “Whiskey and coke?”

        4. leon

          Really I don’t know if there is much you can do. Young kids and all. For me it was if you were polite but curt that you weren’t interested I’d move on. But every kid is different.

      3. Rebel Scum

        This was a pair of girls* so I didn’t want to freak them out too bad.

        *not what I would call ‘lookers’ per say, by I probably wouldn’t deny them.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I doubt being sexed in is a legitimate method of joining the faith unless they have some affiliation with the Mexican Mafia that I’m unaware of.

          1. Raven Nation
          2. Stinky Wizzleteats

            They’re an interesting bunch.

        2. Deseret Forum?

        3. robc

          I had a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses come by one day, older woman and young hot woman. I really wanted to say somehing like this to the older woman, “You go on to the next house, she can come in and discuss the ‘watchtower’ with me.”

          But I wussed out.

          1. Festus

            My Dad handed the garbage to them one day. To his credit they were really annoying folk that lived just up the road and would show up at least once a week. When I was a stoned teenager I answered the door and told them we were Jewish. They never came back after that.

          2. Fourscore

            “Jesus doesn’t live in my house”

          3. ElspethFlashman

            There’s a religious group downtown that has banners and info pamphlets available in the summertime… out on the mall, using park benches, etc. I haven’t figured out if they are JW or some other Christian reformed group… because I don’t want to waste my time. But it is usually some older woman, paired with a very dowdy younger woman. Occasionally the ladies are non-white. I want to send one of my office mates to talk to them so I can get the info second hand instead.

          4. Festus

            Do you also watch “Dr. Pimple Popper”? jk

          5. ElspethFlashman

            Noooo!

          6. ElspethFlashman

            Yeah that makes the most sense. A law school friend was Adventist, oddly enough. She didn’t try to convert me, but hinted what a great thing her church was.

        4. leon

          Hmm. Most of my time I spent in more “dangerous’ area and didn’t with with the Girl missionaries.

          1. Festus

            These euphemisms. Lordy!

        5. Fourscore

          3 way possibility?

    2. A buddy of mine who was deeply Evangelical would invite them in to debate theology. He said he wanted to see if he could pull off a conversion. Eventually they got tired of coming by.

    3. I just regale them with tales of my time spent in Outer Darkness.

  18. Raphael

    Jeebus that one super mom, here I thought it was crazy with my sis having 3 kids by 26.

    1. Tundra

      Holy shit. It’s like the Catholics scene from Meaning of Life.

      1. Festus

        “I’m afraid it’s Medical experiments for the lot of you.”

      2. Raphael

        I just had a good laugh there, I forgot how much I loved that movie.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Are we rushing to conclusions here? Has anyone checked to see if the ex-husband has banged out another 20 kids with his new girlfriend?

      Just like the Matriarchy to steal all the glory from the poor downtrodden dude.

      1. Not Adahn

        Yes, J.S. Bach had twenty children, but he needed two wives to do it. Master of the organ indeed.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Well he was going to focus on the flute until he realized that would require the drilling of holes….

    3. leon

      There’s something wrong with having three kids by 26?

      1. Raphael

        Oh no, nothing at all. I think it’s great and her kids are the best. It was just our family was…not in the best of economic times.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          My first kid was the result of a night where my wife and I didn’t even have enough money to go out to the $1 movie theater. Instead we stayed home and engaged in a hobby that we found to be quite fun and required almost no money.

          1. Sensei

            There was a price to be paid afterwards, however.

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Uffda. You got that right.

      2. Lachowsky

        No. My older brother has 5 daughters. His oldest is about to turn 7.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Could you PM me his contact info?

          Asking for a friend.

          1. “co-registrant”?

    1. Festus

      Mr. Lizard’s demise confirmed.

      1. Has anyone heard anything from him?

        1. Jarflax

          It just started warming up. He hasn’t gotten mobile yet.

    2. Tundra

      I’m gonna have nightmares.

        1. Tundra

          *screams and reaches for flamethrower*

      1. SugarFree

        Meh. They are just lobsters without good PR.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          +1 Melted Butter Dip

    3. Rebel Scum

      Global Warming?

  19. Tundra

    Reading that article about Disney makes me even more proud that I never subjected myself and my family to that madness.

    1. Tonio

      Yep, the ADA. Don’t see why they couldn’t ban all motorized conveyances. “You can bring your own attendant to push you around, or hire one of ours. The training course is one hour and costs $100 and the certificate is good for one year.”

    2. Atanarjuat

      Wise choice.

  20. Atanarjuat

    Massachusetts judge charged with obstruction of justice

    Wait a second, that judge doesn’t even have Twitter!

    1. Raphael

      9, 12, 22, 32, 34 (might be a bit too skinny for me, but she looks like 100% fun). Thanks for the nice red-hot fire. Lots of very cute freckles.

  21. Gotta love our Heroes in Blue®, Part #25405280475827504

    It’s also a primer on the efficacy of gun buybacks.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of officers. Minneapolis protector of the innocent Noor is on the stand. He is hitting all the right notes.

      On the stand, Noor pushed back on those criticisms. They “didn’t look at the totality of the circumstance.” Noor said repeatedly that his partner “feared for his life” and he could tell, despite Harrity never saying so.

      1. Tundra

        Oh, so now it’s a ‘bang’? Last week it was a ‘thump’ or a ‘slap’.

        Fuck you, Noor. You flat-out murdered a chick because you were a gutless pussy.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          He’ll be found guilty of manslaughter would be my guess which is better than nothing. Murder seems unlikely.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          From the Powerline story I linked to below:

          • Getting to the heart of it, Noor testified that he heard a loud bang. Previously known as a “slap” or a “thump,” it has grown like Topsy.

        3. OneOut

          He said the magic words “feared for his life”.

          He is innocent.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        TW: Powerline (but local Scott Johnson has been doing a very good job covering the trial).

        Noor’s story isn’t holding together very well.

        Johnson lays out a list of inconsistencies in Noor’s testimony. My favorite was a tweet he quoted:

        Noor then said “I fired once. The threat took a couple steps back…”
        Sweasy: Did you just say “the threat” took a couple steps back?
        Noor: Yes.
        Sweasy: “The whole blonde hair, pink t-shirt and all is a threat to you?”#NoorTrial #JustineDamond

        — Lou Raguse (@LouRaguse) April 25, 2019

        1. Tundra

          Ouch.

      3. Lachowsky

        The totality of the circumstance is that we live in a police state where cops can shoot you dead on the flimsiest of pretenses and most likely suffer zero repercussions.

        If you look at it that way, he’s got a point.

      4. Fourscore

        “and heard Harrity exclaim, “Oh, Jesus.”

        Heard Harrity exclaim, “Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, Mohammed”

    2. Raven Nation

      On one of the Australian news sites covering the story, there is a link to another article about why you’re 12 times more likely to be shot by a cop in the US than in Australia. You won’t eb surprised to hear the author laud Australia’s gun control laws and its more centralized police command structure. BUT, he also notes: “Also, the rules pertaining to the deployment of police firearms in Australia are extremely demanding. In contrast, American police officers need only have a “reasonable belief” that a firearm should be deployed.”

      And his conclusion is: “How do we prevent ourselves going down the path that the United States has taken? The answers are straightforward. We must continue to insist on high standards of accountability and training for those who have access to lethal force. And we must continue to foster strong collaborations between police and mental health professionals…Finally, it is sometimes suggested that police should have the benefit of a more liberal “shoot-to-kill” policy. Any such move should be fiercely resisted. The shooting of Justine Damond provides a tragic yet valuable lesson that a “warrior cop” mentality is inevitably counterproductive to the task at hand.”

      1. Tundra

        I can’t argue with any of that. Also, personal liability. No more of this fucking immunity,

        1. leon

          This if officers no we’re liable, and the payouts came from there own pension funds, you’d see the ‘profession’ start to police itself.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            And then taxpayers would be fleeced for the backfill. Same with wages going up if they were required to carry private insurance. Removing effective immunity from criminal liability along with changing the culture.

        1. Tonio

          OMG, that’s hilarious. And I bet it’s really cheesing the Biden people off that they didn’t register that domain, like years ago…

      1. Festus

        Well they do share certain predilections…

        1. commodious spittoon

          I read awhile back supposition that the guy might just be a little brain damaged as a result of the aneurysm he had in the 80s. Just doesn’t know his boundaries anymore.

          Or he’s a lecherous creep.

          1. Tonio

            Regardless of Biden’s personal situation there is a big problem with powerful government officials going senile (or whatevs) and their staffs covering for them. Reagan was the most egregious example because Nancy and her astrologer were pretty much running things. And for every one you know about there are many more who slip by unnoticed because nobody wants to cause a stink.

          2. Festus

            I’m convinced that RBG is a Skeksi that keeps winning the rock challenge.

          3. robc

            You don’t think this SNL skit was accurate?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5wfPlgKFh8

          4. OneOut

            And it was evidently know in DC.

            There is similar video of Sessions slapping Biden’s hand away from his granddaughter at sessions. Searing in as AG.

    1. Tonio

      Nice. I particularly like the one of Biden and Beto, even though guys aren’t Biden’s thing. But the others are super effective.

      The feminist outrage over Biden winning the nomination will be delicious. Even moreso watching them contort themselves to femsplain how we have to support Biden because ORANGE MAN BAD!!1!

      1. Atanarjuat

        “guys aren’t Biden’s thing”

        counterpoint

        1. Tonio

          Ha!

    2. Rebel Scum

      Make America Grope Again!

  22. Frontier is a shit airline.

    True story: I was flying back to CO from Chicago a couple of years ago on Frontier and got bumped, in spite of my *confirmed* seat, because I checked in a couple of hours after it was first available. Apparently they routinely massively oversell their shitty flights and tough titties if you don’t check in 24 hours ahead of time on the dot, they just gave your seat away. And the fine print says they don’t have to notify or compensate you in any way. I’ve never flown them since. Fuck them.

    1. straffinrun

      I thought all airlines book at 105% sometimes just because some people don’t show up. Been bumped from American Airlines once myself.

      1. I’ve been bumped for checking in really late, and I get that. And you’re right that they overbook slightly, then usually take volunteers to give up seats for compensation if everyone shows up. What ticked me off was getting bumped without notification for checking in 22 hours ahead instead of 24.

        Their airplanes suck too, they’ve got the least leg room of any airline.

        1. straffinrun

          Oh, I see what you mean. That would piss me off, too. They should’ve at least given you compensation.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            “Mr. Q, would you accept a free rubbing of your face in the tits of a stewardess of your choice as compensation?”

  23. Tonio

    Flakey Hippie Chick Update: So, I offered to simplify everything for everyone by suggesting that she just drop the dog off at my house. I have a fenced in back yard and my dog died earlier this year. It’s a wussy spaniel and is cat friendly. But that won’t do because it will inconvenience another caregiver who was “so looking forward to stopping in on the dog”…WTF. All this having been the culmination of FHC trying to renegotiate the two morning visits to which I had agreed into something more complicated involving interaction with other persons not known to me to which I politely said no. Also, duly noted that FHC is perfectly willing to jerk me around, but not to inconvenience other FHC neighbor.

    1. Festus

      Bah. Walk away, Friend. A favor given should not have strings attached. Bitch should be grateful.

    2. Bowl of antifreeze.

      1. Tonio

        How would I get her to drink it? Oh, you meant….NO!

      2. Private Chipperbot

        Pictures Swissy’s garage looking like an O’Reilly’s in December with a complete wall of antifreeze jugs.

        1. I like the two feral cats in our ‘hood. They sit by my garden and snipe off mice.

    3. Tonio

      Walking away is not a practical option. But my availability will be much reduced in the future.

      The more complicated you make a plan, the more likely it is to fail. But hippies not known for good planning or linear thinking.

      1. Festus

        Nods head and ponders every decision I made between 15 and 25.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m so sorry that you involved yourself with that.

    5. Gadfly

      Solution: buy a little MAGA hat for the dog and dress it up when it is in your care. You will never be asked for a dog-watching favor from a hippy again.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Australia Is Deadly Serious About Killing Millions of Cats

    So you’re saying that they are slaying pussy…

    1. WTF

      *applause*

  25. straffinrun

    Why Is Joe Biden the Only Democrat Who Wants to Talk About Donald Trump?

    No excerpt needed. That headline tells it all.

    1. Top quality delusion. The best.

    2. Raphael

      Is this another sad attempt at gaslighting?

      1. straffinrun

        Considering the target audience, it’s probably not gaslighting. Just regular old insanity.

    3. Fourscore

      Well, their age says they share a lot of things in common, with Bernie in the mix as well.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Researchers say what was once the world’s second-largest colony of emperor penguins has “now all but disappeared” after changes in sea-ice conditions made their typical breeding grounds highly unstable.

    Are they sure it doesn’t have anything to do with summer? (Or sharks/Orcas…?)

    1. Tonio

      Or an epidemic. Huge numbers of a single species in a small area – prime epidemic situation (see also, London before sanitary sewers).

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    “…What annoys Craig Belke is the Disney darters who jump in front of him as he carefully edges his scooter along, trying to keep a gap between himself and the person ahead of him.

    Then the insult worsens. The person who cut him off turns around and lectures him about being more careful.”

    Like people who don’t do their stops or break some other traffic law or unwritten rule and look at you as if you’re the asshole?

    Those kind of people? I HATE assholes like that.

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    Heartbreaking about the cats in Australia. I went to be outraged but I get it. We euthanize cats here every year so it’s not like it’s any different. Still….they’re a majestic predator – even th house cat.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Not mine. He’s afraid of the dark, can’t figure out how to eat if he can see the bottom of his food bowl, and will eat any fruit he can get his fangs into (which prompty gives him painful shits).

      PS – Want a free cat?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Lol. Retard cat.

  29. Rebel Scum

    “As a Palestinian student at DePaul, I don’t feel welcome or safe knowing people like this teach there,” Suemaya Haydar posted on Twitter. “This racist, gross professor needs to suffer the consequences of his actions and of these violent, discriminatory views.”

    “Your words are violence.” Also, those in mud huts glass houses ought not throw stones. (particularly at the Israeli guard…)

    And the professor politely raises his middle fingers:

    “We live in an age where there is an abysmal lack of intellectual and moral leadership,” Hill said. “I take myself to be such a leader, and I have no intentions of issuing any apologies. I’ve spoken what I believe to be the truth, and I stand firm in what I believe in.”

    Not that I agree or disagree with his views. I didn’t read his piece. It’s just nice when people stand by their own words and stand up for themselves.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      The idea that a school has to be ‘welcoming’ and ‘safe’ in the esoteric sense they believe has to be eliminated from students.

      Safe physically sure. But not safe from ideas. Boy, somewhere along the line we did a nice job on these children.

    2. Festus

      “Never Apologize.”

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      The professor sounds awesome.

    4. WTF

      “Your words are violence.”
      Really? How about I say mean things to you for 30 seconds, and then punch you for 30 seconds, and see if you can tell which one is violence and which one is not.

    5. Unless the school’s mascot is a tiger, and the tiger is given free roam of the campus, it’s probably plenty safe. And if words were violence there would be a whole lot of maimed corpses left in my wake, especially while driving.

  30. Rufus the Monocled

    The refs who got the call wrong in the Knights-Sharks game….THEY GONE!

    https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/news/nhl-apologizes-to-golden-knights-for-controversial-penalty-call-203853135.html

    O’Halloran is a seasoned vet. Not sure he deserves this.

    They NHL also reached out to the Knights.

    https://twitter.com/DavidSchoenLVRJ/status/1121453835241660417?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1121453835241660417&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fca.sports.yahoo.com%2Fnews%2Fnhl-apologizes-to-golden-knights-for-controversial-penalty-call-203853135.html

    Good. Next time don’t allow four goals in five minutes. This is the Saints thing all over again.

    1. Tundra

      Agreed. It was a bad call, but the GK special teams sucked balls.

      Get the fuck over it and enjoy your summer.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Fucking this. Try not giving up 4 goals in 5 minutes.

    2. robc

      I thought the penalty ended if you gave up a goal. or is that only for a 2 minute?

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Major penalties don’t expire on goals. You have to ride them out (or shit the bed as the Knights did).

  31. Private Chipperbot

    From hero to pariah, VT water expert fights for reputation.

    Spending $100,000 on lawsuits and public records requests, he has foraged through thousands of pages of transcripts, court testimony and documents from colleges and government agencies.

    The tenacious Virginia Tech professor, who helped expose contaminated water in Flint and Washington, has an investigative bent that makes him a scourge of scientists and government bureaucrats.

    But this investigation isn’t about lead-laced water. It’s about his enemies.

    He is fighting with Flint activists and Michigan scientists. He said they’re exaggerating the danger of city water, which has met federal standards for two years. They said he’s unwilling to entertain new research.

    1. Festus

      He’s Bob Mueller in a lab coat.

    2. commodious spittoon

      He regularly describes other scientists as cowards and used car salesmen. He says academia has been besotted by the incessant need to be noticed, published and funded.

      Unless they study climate science, of course. Climate scientists are dispassionate, selfless servants of capital-T Truth, genius ascetics who toil away in the science mines so that we ingrates have plates full of science three times a day.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      Interesting. Sounds like they’re mad that he wouldn’t play ball when it was time to cash in on the tragedy. Pretty much every complaint made about him in the article is actually a compliment.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        This. He’s honest, can’t have that anywhere near politics or government.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Moral preening

    The high-water mark of collective action at the company was on Nov. 1, 2018, when 20,000 Google workers collectively walked out of their offices to demand improvements to Google’s policies on sexual harassment. The event was a direct response to a New York Times exposé on Google’s having given Andy Rubin, the “father of Android,” a $90 million payout despite having a verified sexual misconduct claim against him. The action led to public concessions on forced arbitration, not only from Google but across the tech industry.

    In Maven and JEDI, internal organizing was a success. The A.I. Principles were drafted and cited as the reason for the cancellations. But even the collective action of key employees on Dragonfly has not led to a public statement that the project would have violated Google’s commitment to not design technologies violating human rights.

    Direct action from tech workers has been undeniably effective. Human rights organizations must therefore continue to advocate the legal protection of whistle-blowers and conscientious objectors, including protecting the organizing required for an effective collective action. Further, the broader civil society could increase the frequency of whistle-blowing by creating a dedicated legal defense fund.

    Tech companies are spending record amounts on lobbying and quietly fighting to limit employees’ legal protections for organizing. North American legislators would be wise to answer the call from human rights organizations and research institutions by guaranteeing explicit whistle-blower protections similar to those recently passed by the European Union. Ideally, they would vocally support an instrument that legally binds businesses — via international human rights law — to uphold human rights.

    tl;dr- I want to act without consequences. I’m a “whistleblower”. I should get to decide what the giant corporation I work for does or does not do.

    Guess what- Don’t like the project you have been assigned to? Quit your job and start your own “moral” software company. I also like how he equates whining about gender equity with legitimate moral qualms about working on totalitarian surveillance projects designed to oppress political dissidents in China.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Some kind of metal rule about getting more of what you reward…

    2. wdalasio

      Human rights organizations must therefore continue to advocate the legal protection of whistle-blowers and conscientious objectors…

      I’m guessing he doesn’t include James Damore in those protections.

      Honestly, though, the time for Google and the rest of the tech industry to put a stop to this was five years ago. At this point, it’s probably too late to reverse the trends. In the intermediate term (3-7 years) the tech industry is in for a period of slowing sales and moderating stock prices.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    Oh the fun we will have!

    Imagine you get lucky and score a ticket to Ilhan Omar’s local townhall meeting. Wait, it gets better. It isn’t just her that will be there!

    She [Omar] joined five other women for a panel discussion, including Abena Abraham, an organizer for SEIU Healthcare MN, Richfield Mayor Maria Regan Gonzalez, Gender Justice attorney Christy Hall, MSP NOW Co-president Bri Sharkey-Smith, and The Coven CEO Alex West Steinman.

    You could bask in all their wokeness as they discuss the ways in which women of color are totally oppressed in our society.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I want a ticket. Would go wearing a kippah, my star of David necklace and my Israeli flag tie.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of Omar…..

      In the article about the townhall they mentioned that there was no police presence at the meeting. I don’t get it, she has been the subject of a flood of death threats after Trump tweeted a video of her giving a speech. How can the police fail to protect her?

      It is like everyone knows that those death threats weren’t really serious.

      Also why won’t that doubleplus shitlord Jack Dorsey not ban Trump from Twitter like Omar wants? Does he want her dead?

      Omar pressed Dorsey to explain why Twitter didn’t remove Trump’s tweet outright… Dorsey said that the president’s tweet didn’t violate the company’s rules, a second person from Twitter confirmed.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        A government official using her office to threaten a private citizen for taking actions contrary to her wishes. Used to have a name for those type of thugs, but Omar wouldn’t know it as she isn’t an American culturally and has no desire to be one. No business holding either elected office or citizenship here.

    3. ron73440

      Gender Justice attorney Christy Hall

      Come on, they’re just making up titles now.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Its not a title, its an advocacy group that is named “Gender Justice,” and she is an attorney with this group. Fun fact, this group also include Erin May Quade, the crazy lady who ruined her career as a state rep when she tried and failed to #metoo her political patron.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          *shiver* she looks like the xenomorph queen in Alien

        2. ron73440

          OK, makes a little more sense, they seem nice.

    4. ron73440

      OK, I read the article.

      It includes preventing employers from using salary history to determine future pay and preventing retaliation against workers who talk about their salary.

      Women are oppressed, then punished for wanting to discuss salary, I’m sure they have actual examples of this happening in an unfair manner, right?

      1. creech

        If an employer can’t ask, then I suppose employers will just assume the female applicant was making 20% less than a man would and begin his offer at that level.

        1. Festus

          Nah, he’ll just ask her to get up on that chair to adjust the picture frame.

    5. Festus

      All that’s missing is the cauldren.

  34. The Other Kevin

    RE: Disney scooters
    I have been going to Disney parks since I was a little kid. I was always impressed by their policies for disabled guests. They were always way ahead of the game, and they’ve always been very
    generous. But over the years I have seen people realize this, and they began taking advantage of the situation. I think all the scooter use is indicative of this. It has gotten bad enough that Disney has revised their disabled policies in the past few years.

    1. The Other Kevin

      Another point I just thought of. If there are people using those scooters who don’t normally use them, they aren’t going to have the skills or experience that comes with using a wheel chair or mobility device daily. There are things you have to get used to, rules of the road so to speak.

      1. robc

        Go full speed and lay on the horn?

        1. Festus

          Carry yer hockey stick.

          1. Private Chipperbot
    2. Tonio

      Fraudsters will always find a way, TOK. A few years back they exposed this rent-a-cripple fraud ring. Rich moms discovered that if your party contained a single mobility-impaired person that Disney would move the entire party to the front of the line. Some legitimately disabled people made money off of this for a time, until someone yapped to the press. I bet it still goes on, just more secretively.

      1. Festus

        Where there is more than one person there is opportunity for a grift.

      2. The Other Kevin

        Forgot about that. Another good example. To their credit, Disney still does not limit the number in your party. At Six Flags Great America, to use the disabled queue you are only allowed the disabled person +3 others, which shitty when there are 5 in your family like mine.

        Disney did change one policy, probably in response to this. They used to just let you on the back of the ride immediately. But now you have to get a return time, which reflects the normal wait time, and come back to ride later. That is fair, but it sucks that they had to walk back their generosity.

    3. Suthenboy

      ” But over the years I have seen people realize this, and they began taking advantage of the situation. ”

      Bingo

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Our favorite communitarian endorses Joe Biden, apparently.

    The character issue will play out in all sorts of subterranean and powerful ways this election. We have lost our love for ourselves as a people, a faith in our basic goodness, and this loss of faith has been a shock. A lot of voters want to raise their children in an atmosphere marked by decency and compassion, not narcissistic savagery. Values are central to this race.
    Sign Up for The Privacy Project Newsletter

    As technology advances, will it continue to blur the lines between public and private? Explore what’s at stake and what you can do about it.

    Here is what is subtly different about Biden. He’s not an individualist. He is a member. He belongs to his family; his hometown, Scranton; his Democratic Party; his Senate; his nation, and is inexplicable without those roots. He used the word “we” 16 times in his short video announcing his candidacy.

    Some candidates will run promising transformational change. Biden offers a restoration of the values that bind us as a collective.

    David Brooks is like Jiminy Cricket, whispering in America’s ear. Return to your collectivist roots, America. That’s what made us great, once. It will make us great again.

    1. ron73440

      He’s not an individualist. He is a member.

      He’s a member, alright.

      1. Jarflax

        Are you now, or have you ever been…

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Man, I really dislike Brooks.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        And David too

    3. Rebel Scum

      He used the word “we” 16 times in his short video announcing his candidacy.

      He also lied lied lied.

      Biden offers a restoration of the values that bind us as a collective.

      Make America Geat Grope Again.

      And I want no part of your collective. On that, it appears that you do not actually understand what ‘individualism’ and ‘collectivism’ are.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Brooks is the worst kind of conservative. Anything is justifiable as long as it meets his requirements for “greatness”.

  36. robc

    British beer trends 1971-2016

    http://barclayperkins.blogspot.com/2019/04/mild-musings.html

    Actually, it is 1971-1991, plus 2016 — I would have liked to see the whole trend.

    1. robc

      “When styles start to decline, it can happen surprisingly quickly. It always kicks off the same way: young drinkers don’t adopt it. Then a style begins to be associated with old men. And no-one wants to drink what grandad’s drinking.”

      1. The Other Kevin

        Old Style and PBR would like a word with you.

        1. robc

          Have a word with Ron, I was quoting him. But, I think PBR is the example of the comeback after that. The next next generation then picks it up again as retro after the initial decline.

          1. Nephilium

            Yep, IIRC both were on life support before coming back. There’s a brewery in the Cincinnati area that’s making a point of buying up the names and recipes of some of the breweries that went under in the past couple of decades. But I’m not sure it’s the best thing that they’re bringing back things like Little Kings or Hudepohl. A brewery (that the owner retired) had brought back a brewery and beers from Western Reserve brewing (which went dark during the late 90’s in the first shake out).

            I’d be a bit more interested if they would release the historic records and recipes.

          2. robc

            When Iron City went down I thought about trying to buy the Falls City name out of bankruptcy. It was a few years before I decided to go pro so I didnt, but someone else did it and turned it into a Louisville craft brewery, so at least someone followed up on my idea.

          3. Nephilium

            It seems to be a pretty popular thing here in the rust belt, one brewery even brought back the POC (Pride of Cleveland) brand even though they’re an hour out of the city. Platform and Market Garden both built production facilities at old abandoned breweries here in Cleveland (great for marketing, not so great for maintenance and upkeep).

  37. The Late P Brooks

    I’m sure they have actual examples of this happening in an unfair manner, right?

    Hey- if you can’t trust a gender justice attorney, who can you trust?

  38. commodious spittoon

    How can you not love this woman? Occasio-Cortez lambastes Republican congressman for standing next to a cardboard cutout of her. Turns out it’s Democrat John Yarmuth.

    1. robc

      I liked Yarmuth when he was the editor of the LEO (Louisville Eccentric Observer – weekly arts and liberal politics rag), even though I disagreed with him on just about everything. Then he became my congressman….ugh. And the LEO went downhill too after he sold it.

      Back in his day, they carried both PJ O’Rourke and Dave Barry. And Carl Brown, who was a (literally) insane former GOP-politician.

      1. robc

        https://www.leoweekly.com/2018/04/carl-brown-written-longtime-column-plain-brown-rapper-leo-died/

        Written by Yarmuth…and another Yarmuth was editor at this point, so maybe he “sold” it to family when he went to congress.

    2. ron73440

      From the retarded America is a shithole article:

      Benie is a genius

      In the comments there was this exchange:

      Bernie Sanders
      ‏Verified account @SenSanders

      In McDowell County, West Virginia, the life expectancy for men is just 64 years. Just 6 hours away it’s 82 years.
      7:34 AM – 5 May 2016

      907 Retweets
      1,448 Likes
      Low-Life from Queens #BoycottChase
      Aziz Samii
      The Quiet Mancunian
      Bit-Rich Rick
      Mariela Iturralde
      Rafael Santos
      aviva gabriel
      Patricia Davis
      Lyuis Yudzhiniya

      70 replies 907 retweets 1,448 likes

      New conversation
      EddieMSparkles
      ‏ @EddieMSparkles
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders to be fair this is the only place to eat in town
      4 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      Harpua
      ‏ @Harpua71
      5 May 2016

      @EddieMSparkles @SenSanders no grocery stores? Maybe try eating at home?
      1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes

      This Tweet is unavailable

      New conversation
      The Socialist Party
      ‏Verified account @OfficialSPGB
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders Poverty and deprivation caused by capitalism are killers.
      2 replies 2 retweets 9 likes

      New conversation
      (((Kath Kaufman)))
      ‏ @coachkitty
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders Weird that u don’t point to the life expectancy of black men opposed to white men only minutes away in urban areas. #ImWithHer
      2 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      BettyJo
      ‏ @DemExitNow
      5 May 2016

      @coachkitty @SenSanders he said MEN. Not white men or black men. MEN and unlike #DropOutHillary he actually cares about the 99% NOT JUST 1%
      2 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
      (((Kath Kaufman)))
      ‏ @coachkitty
      5 May 2016

      @BettyJoPatton @SenSanders U clearly miss my point. #DropOutBernie
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      BettyJo
      ‏ @DemExitNow
      5 May 2016

      @coachkitty no i didnt. Your bashing Bernie for something she did too but her and her husband made it worse Cherry picking? #DropOutHillary
      2 replies 1 retweet 1 like
      Nabin Gautam
      ‏ @NabinGautam2
      5 May 2016

      @BettyJoPatton @coachkitty Evening is sexism for HRC supporters.Idiots fall for identity politics and fight against the cause themselves
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      (((Kath Kaufman)))
      ‏ @coachkitty
      5 May 2016

      @NabinGautam2 @BettyJoPatton That makes no sense. @NabinGuatam2
      0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes

      End of conversation

      Don Surber
      ‏ @donsurber
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders @instapundit Reason? 82 years of a Democratic Legislature
      0 replies 3 retweets 1 like

      New conversation
      Archangel
      ‏ @Viper1600
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders Sanders you will not win West Virginia.Thats Trump and Clinton country.We will stop you from winning there
      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes

      This Tweet is unavailable

      New conversation
      Hillary Clinton
      ‏ @_yennies_
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders you creating chaos for the Democratic party. #DropOutBernie
      4 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      BettyJo
      ‏ @DemExitNow
      5 May 2016

      @_yennies_ @SenSanders if truth is chaos then we need to fix the issues and she wont fix anything. #DropOutHillary
      1 reply 2 retweets 1 like
      Hillary Clinton
      ‏ @_yennies_
      5 May 2016

      @BettyJoPatton @SenSanders Sanders is a commie more chaos
      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      BettyJo
      ‏ @DemExitNow
      5 May 2016

      @_yennies_ hardly. Do your research. #BernieOrBust #DropOutHillary #CorruptClintons
      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      Hillary Clinton
      ‏ @_yennies_
      5 May 2016

      @BettyJoPatton Hillary is the only one capable of beating trump
      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      BettyJo
      ‏ @DemExitNow
      5 May 2016

      @_yennies_ scandal after scandal….unlikely! Email and Clinton foundation investigations. Nothing to see here folks. Smdh #DropOutHillary
      0 replies 0 retweets 1 like

      End of conversation

      This Tweet is unavailable

      New conversation
      Harpua
      ‏ @Harpua71
      5 May 2016

      Replying to @SenSanders

      @SenSanders let me guess the federal govt can fix it by taxing people
      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      New conversation
      Darwren S
      ‏ @SavDarren
      5 May 2016

      @Harpua71 @SenSanders yes people, and corporations, who are not paying their fair share..
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Harpua
      ‏ @Harpua71
      5 May 2016

      @SavDarren @SenSanders define fair share, be specific
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Darwren S
      ‏ @SavDarren
      5 May 2016

      @Harpua71 @SenSanders Well more than nothing is a start.
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Harpua
      ‏ @Harpua71
      5 May 2016

      @SavDarren @SenSanders not very specific

      Darwren S has it all figured out, if only the people who are not paying ANY taxes had to pay something we would all live longer.

      1. ron73440

        Dammit, I only wanted to quote this much:

        @SenSanders let me guess the federal govt can fix it by taxing people
        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        New conversation
        Darwren S
        ‏ @SavDarren
        5 May 2016

        @Harpua71 @SenSanders yes people, and corporations, who are not paying their fair share..
        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        Harpua
        ‏ @Harpua71
        5 May 2016

        @SavDarren @SenSanders define fair share, be specific
        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        Darwren S
        ‏ @SavDarren
        5 May 2016

        @Harpua71 @SenSanders Well more than nothing is a start.
        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        Harpua
        ‏ @Harpua71
        5 May 2016

        @SavDarren @SenSanders not very specific

        I did the same thing yesterday, I’m going to blame the stupidity I’m quoting for messing with my brain functions. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          /Krusty gesture.

          What the fuck was that?

          1. ron73440

            Cut me some slack, I’m WORKING RUFUS!

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Thanks for lowering my IQ

        1. I just scrolled past it all. TL;DR and all that.

      3. Raphael

        Fuck off, slavers. That is all.

    3. Festus

      She makes my head hurt.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        She’s got that eyes just a little too wide open thing going on.

        1. Rebel Scum
        2. Yeah, she looks like a crazy person. I don’t get how there are people who find her attractive. It’s not that she’s ugly, as such, it’s just that I can’t see her as a sexual creature, either positively or negatively, any more than I could a ladder or a keyboard or something.

    4. Rebel Scum

      Bless her heart.

    5. CPRM

      I saw my GP for the first time since before the fall elections. She’s a nice cute girl, first doc I’ve had in a while that I actually like. But there was something about her that was a bit irritating this time, then it hit me, she kinda of looks and sounds (in pitch of voice) like AOC. Hat and Hair ruining the real world for me.

      1. commodious spittoon

        CPRM, you fool. You bring Glibs into reality and Glibs becomes your reality! You’re a cursed soul!

        1. Festus

          Everything within the Glibs, nothing outside the Glibs, nothing against the Glibs!

    6. Pope Jimbo

      I read something yesterday that said she had co-sponsored legislation with John Yarmuth just a few months ago. And she still didn’t recognize him, or have anyone on her staff who recognized him.

      1. Festus

        Laser-focused, she is.

  39. A Leap at the Wheel

    Ladies and Gentlemen, do not adjust your calendar, this album dropped in 2019, not 1969.

    And it is magnificent.

    1. MikeS

      My parents had a set of glasses exactly like the red one on the right. Groovy.

    2. Creosote Achilles

      This is excellent. Thank you for sharing.

  40. CPRM

    In college I had to play jazz on the college radio station, knowing nothing of Jazz and knowing that Penn Jilette was a jazz fan I tweeted him what I should play and he said Sun Ra, so that I did.

    1. Festus

      That’s a legitimately cool story, bro.

      1. CPRM

        I had some other conversations on twitter with Penn, at least in the early days of twitter he responded to a lot of things, don’t know about now.

        1. Festus

          Fat Penn was the cool Penn much like coked-out Aerosmith were the cool Aerosmith. Artists shouldn’t give up their vices.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Trump hates science

    A secretive group of scientists who advise the U.S. government on everything from spy satellites to nuclear weapons is scrambling to find a sponsor after the Defense Department abruptly ended its contract late last month.

    The group, known as the Jasons, will run out of money at the end of April. The Pentagon says that the group’s advice is no longer needed, but independent experts say it has never been more relevant and worry the department is throwing away a valuable resource.

    ——–

    The Jasons group comprises about 60 members. By day, they’re normal academics, working at colleges and universities and in private industry. But each summer, they come together to study tough problems for the military, intelligence agencies and other parts of the government.

    The group’s name, like the group itself, is shrouded in mystery, though it’s believed to be a reference to Jason, the Greek mythological prince who leads the Argonauts in looking for the Golden Fleece.

    “The idea that they’re going to cut back on the kind of advice that the Jasons provide is not good for the Department of Defense,” says Steven Aftergood of the Federation of American Scientists, an independent watchdog group. “It’s not good for the nation.”

    Muh gravy train!

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Jason (One of the Jasons): BUT I JUST BOUGHT A PORSH-AH!

    2. CPRM

      Fleece

      probably accuarate of what they were doing.

    3. Festus

      Muh secret cabal ripe for conspiracy theories!

    4. Fourscore

      “Each summer, they come together to study tough problems for the military, intelligence agencies and other parts of the government.”

      Me and the boys do that every morning (‘cept Sunday, ’cause you know why) at the local cafe roundtable

      1. Festus

        Does the waitress snap her gum and engage in witty banter with you coots?

    5. Rebel Scum

      The group, known as the Jasons

      Beto the faux Latino has a new band?

  42. Juvenile Bluster

    South Carolina may start using firing squads for executions

    Completely against the death penalty, but if they are going to do it anyways … this is actually a step forward. We use lethal injection over methods that would more quickly result in sure death (like a firing squad) because it’s quiet and pretty and that somehow makes it okay.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve always felt that if we are going to have the death penalty, the physical method should reflect the moral brutality of the act.

    2. Not Adahn

      Captive bolt gun to the spinal column?

    3. Tonio

      LI was supposed to be quiet and pretty which was why the revenge crowd opposed it in the first place. Departments of corrections have gone out of their way to make it as painful as possible without angering the courts. I have no sympathy for actual murderers, etc, but do not trust the state with this power. If we must execute, let us do so humanely being aware of the fallibility of the system and the documented cases of actual innocence.

      1. Tonio

        Firing squad, while messy, is actually pretty humane. Moreso than botched LI executions, of which there have been many.

        1. Agreed on all points, but again it’s worth emphasizing that the state has no legitimate role in acts of vengeance or any other emotional response. To the extent there is anything like a legitimate argument for capital punishment it should be that a person has been convicted of a violent crime and poses such a threat of committing another in the future that the risk of the person escaping is too great.

          1. Jarflax

            the state has no legitimate role in acts of vengeance or any other emotional response.

            I am not buying this argument. A significant point of criminal law since its beginnings was that the State would visit retribution on malefactors and the people would give up their private right to seek retribution. It is all very well to decry revenge, but the alternative to retribution by the State is vendetta.

            It is a penal code. It is the code of punishments. Punishment is the point of the criminal law, not reformation or rehabilitation.

        2. Gadfly

          I’ve often wondered why they don’t just put the condemned in a sealed room and run a hose to it from an engine exhaust. People commit suicide that way, so it must not be that bad, and you don’t have to have any technical know-how or any hard to obtain materials to do so.

          1. Festus

            Helium. You go sleepy-bye.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    In recent years, Hemley says, the Jasons have broadened the areas they study. They’ve tried to help the Department of Agriculture develop better ways to use data to understand crop production, for example. And they advised the Census Bureau on how to streamline its operations.

    Holy cow.

    Much innovate.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When I think of accurate and streamlined, I think of the Census Bureau.

      1. Festus

        I think about “Little Festus” but maybe that’s just me.

    2. Tonio

      Surely to be opposed by entrenched bureaucracy since inefficiency equals more jobs hence more opportunity for supervisory positions.

  44. Gadfly

    Damn, you should have warned us that the fertile woman story would be a nutpunch:

    Mariam’s mother walked out on her, her father and her five siblings three days after she was born.

    After her father remarried, her stepmother poisoned the five older children with crushed glass mixed in their food.

    They all died.

    Mariam, from Uganda, was married aged just 12 to her then 40-year-old husband.

    The world’s most fertile woman has had an incredible 44 children – and now has to raise her massive brood on her own.

    Sadly, her husband walked out on her three years ago and she is now solely responsible for her huge family.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Some of those kids will have to be offered up for scientific experiments, obviously.

    2. CPRM

      Emmanuel Lewis can help out and they can all star in the Webster reboot: Mariam/Webster

      1. Fourscore

        You’re a funny guy

      2. Rhywun

        Too bad Dick van Patten isn’t around to reboot Forty-Eight Is Enough.

        1. CPRM

          I was going to make a joke about an ebola outbreak and still being able to reboot Just the Ten of Us, but I’m not that dark…

      3. Pope Jimbo

        Would anyone Karras about the reboot?

    3. Tonio

      “poisoned the five older children with crushed glass mixed in their food”

      Technically not poisoned since glass is non-toxic, but rather a slow nasty death from internal bleeding.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Technically Correct is the best kind of Correct

      2. Cy

        Her step mother sounds like an excellent candidate for “undocumented immigrant.” Maybe “refugee.”

        1. Festus

          “Congresswoman”.

      3. Not Adahn

        This actually happened? I thought “poisoned with ground glass” was something that only existed in the minds of schizophrenics.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Are we still not allowed to call these countries shitholes?

      1. Festus

        “Africa would be a great place except for all those bloody wogs running about”.

  45. Cy

    Anyone watch End Game yet? Please, no spoilers. Thoughts?

    1. Festus

      Fuck, I’m still a week behind on GOT but already know what happens without actively seeking it out.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        You’re in luck then. Nothing has actually happened yet.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          This

        2. Cy

          Yeah… but it has been entertaining. They’ve done a better job at speed writing, tying up loose ends than I thought they would.

    2. Nephilium

      No, but the girlfriend scheduled something else for tonight (for her), and then was acting surprised that I would go to see it without her (she’s gone to see movies without me that I wanted to see several times). Regardless, I’m planning on seeing it tonight.

      1. Festus

        Ah the “Girl’s Night” vs. “Saturday Morning Tee Time” kerfuffle. Those were always fun.