So here’s a fun story. My effing hunting dog will eat pretty much anything. So what is he eating lately? The decomposing chunks of grass from the deck of my lawn tractor. The grass grows fast and moist this time of year, so there’s a lot of fodder available. He went outside a couple of days ago and puked his guts out. I had to hose down the patio.
What did he do Thursday, when we went to get a bag of dog food? He puked his guts out in his crate. I felt bad for him because he had to spend 20-30 minutes stuffed up against one end of his crate.
Did I mention that the two things that gave me the most problems during my career were puke and shit? Bleed on me all you want, but that stuff is kryptonite. We got home and I let the dogs out. There was dog puke and puke juice all over the back of the Tahoe. God bless WeatherTec. I started the “harrup, harrup” thing when I smelled it. I asked my wife to take the pad out of his crate, so that I could take everything else out and hose it down. I then found myself running through the house, trying to get to the bathroom before I had another mess to clean up.
After depositing a piece of quality New York style pie in the oblong repository, I made my way back to the driveway. The pad was still in the crate. I was able to direct from a distance, tossing out a couple of unproductive, “harrup, harrups” in the process. Everything got hosed off and laid out in the sun.
But wait! It gets better. Fast forward to Friday morning. He wouldn’t eat breakfast, couldn’t get comfortable and was groaning. Hunting dogs don’t show distress unless something is seriously going on. A quick call and off to the vet we go. Yay! He’s got a rock stuck in his intestines! Surgery time! He’s puked up rocks before. He’ll grab one from the garden and run around the yard playing catch with himself and his new buddy, the rock. Every so often, it goes straight down the throat. Usually, there’s a 4am, “harrup, harrup” coming from the hallway, followed by a clunk as the rock hits the floor. Not this time. It was small enough that it went the other direction.
Fortunately, the rock had moved down far enough that the vet was able to work it down the colon towards the back end. He pooped it out this morning. He has a zipper from exploratory surgery, but they didn’t have to cut into the intestines. I call that a win. And now he’s bashing us in the back of our legs with the cone of shame after paying $2,000 for the privilege.
Yeah, links.
Srsly, what could possibly go wrong?
“Drought in California is the new normal.”
No, not really.
Comments
462 responses to “Saturday night something, something, links of something.”
Which one of you is Joerg?
https://youtu.be/iZva55Wh3To
Joerg was soon arrested after posting this video for crimes against the State.
He’s very careful to follow the law.
https://youtu.be/YTut3SPhQ5k
I was being a glib, but, good that he knows how to stay legal.
Huh, I was just throwing darts. I don’t think I’ll be using this method on my dartboard.
“There was dog puke and puke juice all over…”
Now that’s how you Glib.
Dog shit and puke I can usually handle, but it does sometimes get close to my threshold. My kryptonite is baby (human) shit. Ain’t now way I’m changing any more diapers.
Wait until your parents are older.
My kryptonite is baby (human) shit.
When my daughter was still in diapers, my wife heard her say “you” and hold up her fingers, which appeared covered in cinnamon sugar from a cereal snack. Lacking a napkin, my wife proceeded to lick her fingers to clean them (we’re not fancy people).
Well, turns out my daughter had actually said “Ewww” and it wasn’t cinnamon sugar coating her fingers. A lot of hilarity and laughter ensued, at least from me. My wife spent a lot of time puking in the bathroom and brushing her teeth.
I still have a lot of fun joking her about it.
Best story I have about my niece was when a friend was taking pictures of her when she was young. At one point my niece reached out towards the girl taking pictures of her tits. The girl taking pictures stepped back, and my niece fell down and hit the ground.
I’m still considered a good uncle.
Your girlfriend was taking pictures of your niece’s tits? Kinky and Creepy but it’s your family who am I to judge?
This was pre-girlfriend. It was a friend who was taking photography at a local college, and needed several pictures.
Let’s just say that I only checked for a femoral pulse once in my career. Yeah, that was in the days when gloves were for pussies.
I’ve told this before, but our kid crap story was:
I came home one day from work and my son was cowering in the corner. My wife had steam coming out of her ears and was staring daggers at him. I asked what was up.
Turns out my son had gotten his shitty diaper off and then put on his new snowmobile boots and tromped in the shit and created a real world Little Billy cartoon leaving shit tracks all over the house before my wife caught him.
By the time I was home the house was clean, so I laughed and laughed. Which was the right thing to do. Because it made my wife transfer all her wrath from the poor kid to me.
At least Little Jimbo didn’t put on his Mom’s newest high heel satins and tromp through the residue. Smarter than some kids. You might not have laughed, at least not for very long…
I’m glad the dog is okay. They eat the damndest things.
He’s already trotting around like nothing happened. A little tender laying down, though.
Awww…
Kids and dogs have the wonderous ability to eat anything and then if it doesn’t agree with them, to throw it up at will.
When I was young I remember my aunts dog eating a needle and thread and a bowl full of foil wrapped chocolates on separate occasions. Threw both up without incident.
Yeah, glad your dog is OK.
My cats eat about anything they can, but they stick to things that are edible, even if it includes insects and arachnids.
Mine are the opposite. Sometimes I even struggle to get them to eat their designated cat food.
Mine wolf that shit down. They act like they are starving but I feed them the correct portions twice a day. But the older one still has a weight issue, not obese, but overweight. And he has started digging at the trashcan even right after he eats. And together they are clever enough to try to scam whoever gets home second (first between me and the gf feeds them in the evening) into feeding them again. Little monsters they are.
And he has started digging at the trashcan even right after he eats.
That’s where my hoagie went!
I have the added complication that my girls have a turf-thing going on. I have to watch them to make sure the alpha doesn’t eat all the food when I feed them cans. This generally means I leave out dry all the time, which both of them puke up regularly. Yay.
This. I really didn’t want to read a dead dog story.
I’m really looking forward to those robot police dogs. NOT!
My dog ate grass clumps yesterday and promptly puked. He eats everything as well.
Some of the stuff he eats I think, “yeah, I can see that”. I don’t understand the clumps of grass one bit. Then again, he went through a horseshit faze.
This one ate a nylon rope and two tennis balls.
Tennis balls, fer sure. The siding on the house? Not so much.
Aluminum or asbestos?
Why not both?
Horseshit phase?? Well, who hasn’t?!?
Chucking road apples at your buddy is one thing. Picking up a fresh one and thinking, “this looks tasty” makes me scratch my head.
At least he’s not into rolling in fresh cow pies, like Brittanies.
Where we smell shit, they smell a once-tasty meal. Or, the memory of it.
So, dogs are nostalgic.
Mad Scientist’s dog eats furniture. Couches, easy chairs, you name it, it’s passed through that dog’s digestive tract.
Wonder Dog has never, ever chewed anything, including rawhide chew toys. She sniffs them, then walks away with zero interest.
The one time I let Adler in the car as a puppy without putting him in his crate, he ate the third seat cup holder. Cinders chewed through several seat belts. Chopin ate base molding.
But Wonder Dog sure liked Mario’s pizza….
*wistful sigh*
My wife would make galbi which are short ribs that are cut perpendicular to the rib. My mutt would chomp those down and spend two days gingerly shitting the shards out. Never stopped him from repeating the experience though.
The two-foot-long babies are a product of the unusual form of asexual reproduction called parthenogenesis or “virgin birth” in Greek, according to the aquarium.
“Life will find a way. ”
Where’s my dinosaurs?
“And it’s totally not because of rampant herpetophilia among the staff. Pay no heed to the slanderous rumors going around.”
Well, even tho you’re down 2 racks, at least you get to keep your dog, and he’s alive and didn’t die leaving you with a vet bill.
Sounds to me like everyone’s a winner.
He’s my best buddy. He’s goofy as a pet duck at home, but that dog can hunt.
I know how ya feel. I really miss mine.
These posts kill me because I miss my old mutt too
Awww,
Same.
My GSD and Spawn 1
He’s 19 now. Pretty much miss her every day.
Dogs are awesome emotional blankets for kids. When everyone is against you, the dog still thinks you are the greatest.
Not just kids, Holiness.
Yeah, you are right. Dogs are pimps and their love isn’t like a square’s love.
Wish I could time travel to buy a beer for the first caveman who took a wolf pup into the cave. That guy did real good.
Damn straight!
That song is funky as Fuc. I haven’t heard it in along time. What a great riff.
And they’re limeys. Who knew.
The other day one of my cats puked up on the carpet as they tend to do… then primly repeated the process in nine different spots around the house while I chased her around with an armful of household products that I use to mark each one so I don’t step in it before I get around to cleaning it. Then she hid under the bed for 8 hours, poor thing.
From my experience, cat puke never completely comes out.
Anything excreted by a cat is the most foul substance on the planet. Ill take a mustard or VX gas over a litter box saturated with cat piss.
Meh. It’s like toilet paper, don’t cheap out on litter.
I buy cheap toilet paper. I buy very expensive cat litter.
“Doin’ the VX Shuffle…”
/US Army Infantry School off
It comes out “good enough” for me. For some people, maybe not.
Rub it in before it soaks in.
I Shout® it out.
My cat is terrified of everything, especially the doorbell. A couple months ago, he was in the middle of taking a dump in his box when the UPS guy rang the bell. He bolted under the bed literally trailing shit out his ass.
LOL. Yeah, mine are like that too. They’re old and slow but when the doorbell rings they know a scary person is there and boy they can book it to the nearest hidey-hole.
Mine runs TO the door when the bell rings. He’s got to check out who’s coming into the house
Same here. It might have something to do with me training her from puppy-hood to bark loudly and run to the door when someone rings the bell or knocks….
No, my cat runs to the door. The dog does too, she thinks she’s going to get petted. The cat hopes he’ll get to kill someone.
Gud kitty!
I loved it when Wonder Dog would greet me…
Mine are at the window watching me when I pull in the driveway and they meet me at the door when I open it.
Waiting to eat your face
/cat
A Kitteh’s love is different than a square’s love.
If you saw the photo I linked, the darling little “angel” curled next to me was my dog Lucy. She was terrified of any large truck w/airbrakes (including a school bus or trash truck) and any back-up beeper. Having been “rescued” from a junk-yard with a broken LAIG, I could only speculate that she was hit by some large, yard truck.
One morning, laying in bed as in that pic, she heard the trash truck, and was frantically pawing @ me, shaking and trembling. When I tried to move her around to get her to lay down, she shot a searing-hot stream of liquid dog shit all over me. In bed.
You win.
Everyone lost that morning.
All I can day is “Tall Can”.
We had a sweet little mutt that would chew and eat everything. She used to raid the cat box and chewed the controls off the washer and dryer when we were out one day. I said that she was both a turd-burgler and a shit-disturber. Wifey was not amused.
That was wrong, turd-burglar and knob-gobbler.
Aw. One of my cats was terrified of *me* for years – I suspected mistreatment before I got her. She’s fine now.
Hey, what’s Winston’s Mom doing in that shithole article?
Shithole? You are such a tease…
Time to hit the muthafuckin’ theme music for these ladies!
https://thechive.com/2019/04/02/un-hide-able-hooters-here-100-photos/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhCwLD6-UdI
Theme music?
It’s been a day.
I’ll take 8 and a three day weekend.
No offense Spud, but your dog doesn’t sound too bright. I’m sure he’s great, but… eating rocks? Does he ride the short doggy bus?
He doesn’t eat them. He runs around the yard tossing them in the air and catching them. Every once in a while, one keeps going down.
He’s smart, but he’s also fearless. He’s actually scared me a couple of times out in the field. He’s a “hold my beer” kind of dog.
@FloridaDog™
Ayup.
Ah. I like the pic BTW.
And that’s the one you marry.
*fierce applause*
Hey guys this story is crazy!
http://www.fox4news.com/news/u-s-world/man-allegedly-hiding-drugs-in-butt-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-report-says
Didn’t read the links, did you?
Akshully, I did. But my joke wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be.
Comedy is mostly error and trial.
Trust me, I’m a expert at erroring comedy.
I am here to testify that UCS is an expert in erroring comedy.
I got it.
*nods*
Got 2 new batches (or nucs) of bees , got them installed in the proper place (hive) and now hope for either no bears or within range. With any luck we can play catch up on the honey production and still do OK come Sep. Its a ritual that we go through every year, some years more productive than others. The weather has been cold and raining but maybe now we’ll see some flowers and the bees can get busy.
Good luck!
“and now hope for either no bears or within range”
[ambles by, humming “Bear Necessities”]
*slightly narrows gaze*
Bears in range can be taken care of….
Therein lies the problem. As my glasses get thicker it seems that “in range” takes on a new meaning. I have a gamecam set up so I can get some pictures of any nightly visitors. At least I’ll have the memories, if I can remember.
Soup can and hand grenade?
Claymore mine.
“Point Campbells label toward enemy”
May your bees be productive.
“South Africa horror as white farmer activist beaten to death with hammer”
They couldn’t find a tire for a proper necklacing?
Ouch.
Jeez, even the Palis can get tires for burning.
Remember children, it’s DRUMPF who’s against 1A.
https://issuesinsights.com/2019/05/25/report-obamas-spying-on-the-press-was-far-more-extensive-than-previously-thought/
Did ya see this one?
https://abcnews.go.com/US/san-francisco-police-chief-calls-probe-force-reporter/story?id=63268168
Yeah, no kidding. Most of that was news to me.
I don’t like the Trump admin apparent position on Assange, but the Obama admin was way worse for press freedom.
This twat has a helluva ratio.
https://twitter.com/DNCWarRoom/status/1131673658760544256
I guess calling a black neurosurgeon a moron because you dont agree with his politics serves to underscore democrats true views on race.
Keep those uppity negroes on the plantation.
I had to dig two levels deep to find this:
The horror.
I’m no Team Red partisan, but srsly, is there any Team Blue position that isn’t completely bat shit crazy?
Used to be.
I’m drawing a black for one that still is on their party platform.
Sounds problematic.
*looks at keyboard*
*looks at number of keys between N and C*
How the hell did I make that mistake?
I make twat one all the time, darling,
Aren’t you supposed to be enroute to some far away exotic place, like Duluth?
I somehow ended up in Quebec. Yet they still manage to have internet.
If you’re supposedly in PQ, why isn’t your post also in French? Isn’t it a requirement to have everything printed in both languages there?
Je ne parle pas francais
Tulsi is hot.
No. My guess is that if you go back 100 years, you’ll find the same kind of insanity.
transgender women
Are men. I’m sure they will be fine.
Yes, we laugh at Ben Carson because he’s a moron
He’s a world class brain surgeon that worked his way from poverty. A moron for sure.
I don’t agree with Ben Carson on all his political stances, but if you can’t acknowledge that he’s an incredibly impressive person who has accomplished a hell of a lot in his life, you’re hopeless. I don’t know why every black man who pulls himself by his own bootstraps and happens to be conservative suddenly doesn’t factor when the left gets excited about race.
I know why.
You know, I read part of the Wikipedia article, and it’s just disgusting how much the staff have gone out of their way to denigrate him and his achievements. Every incident he described from his youth is accompanied by a little sentence stating that it was “uncorroborated” (is there such a thing on Barack Obama’s Wikipedia article??) And they severely slanted the section on his separation of conjoined twins (the first surgery of its kind) to make the whole thing sound like a miserable failure.
Can anyone recommend a free online encyclopedia that does not have this blatant Leftist bias on every topic that is remotely political?
Reality has a ‘liberal bias’, that’s why socialism always works.
It’s not “staff” – the articles are written by volunteers. You can be sure there are vicious fights over anything “controversial” (i.e. political). And, you are free to edit the Ben Carson article yourself – just expect that whichever autist has Ben Carson duty will undo your corrections an hour later.
Lab?
Meth.
Pathology
coat
back to the?
Pudelpointer. My lab was a lot less discerning with what she swallowed.
I’m assuming you hunt him? You’re in ID, right?
Yes. He’s a “versatile hunting dog” which means he points, retrieves and also retrieves waterfowl. One of the top breeders in the country lives about 20 minutes away.
What are your birds of choice?
I have three Brits.
All but Chuckar. Great tasting bird, but my knees can’t handle the terrain. Grouse are my favorite.
Sharptails? If so you must live on the eastern side.
I lived in Mountain Home for couple years. Fantastic California Quail. Good huns and chukars.
Ruffed and Blues. Takes two Ruffs per person. There are plenty of quail over here, but Southwest Idaho is cut into small parcels. It’s not easy to find land to hunt quail on.
Guys, I think he’s referring to the dog.
You see, Labradors Retrievers are commonly referred to ‘Labs’. They are also known for their eccentricity, loyalty, love of swimming, and being either a highly intelligent breed well suited for hunting water fowl or crazy. There is no in between.
And they’re big rock eaters.
Rats.
Intelligent.
So, there’s a distinction I make with our dogs–neither of which is a Lab–and it’s that one is really good at being a dog, and one is really smart. Carmen is really good at being a dog. She smells a cat or a squirrel from a mile away. She catches birds on the wing as they’re taking off. She’s fast. She growls well. She has a terrifying bark.
Jack…Jack can read the room well and will leave if an argument is starting; if Rachel Maddow comes on he will go upstairs and lay in our walk-in closet. If he caused it somehow, you won’t find him for the rest of the day in a 1000 sqft bungalow, and he’s an 80 pound pit. When he’s hungry, he’ll pick up his metal food dish and bang it against things until we feed him. Carmen will sense that there’s a squirrel in the backyard and wait at the door; Jack will run up and open it.
My ex-BIL has a black Lab, and he’s like the prototype of black Labs. He’s very sweet. He can swim like a fish. If you’ve lost a tennis ball in the past ten years, he will find it for you. And then ask you to throw it for him until one of you passes out.
Heh. One of my cats has the charming habit of dragging the water dish around the kitchen floor. I have no fucking clue why she does it.
I’m glad you’re dog ended up okay. That’s never fun taking them to the vet for something like that.
When we first started dating, my wife co-owned a ridiculously stupid beagle. This dog ate everything, including its own shit. Then it would vomit up its shit onto the kitchen floor. Then it would eat it again.
The dog was also spiteful as can be. I remember one time she was mad after getting a bath so jumped up on the bed and barked for attention. When we looked at her, she pissed all over the bed and ran off.
Fortunately, my wife convinced her roommate to keep the dog when we moved in together.
*your
Oh, I have found where I’ve got to stop tomorrow…
Smoke’s Poutinerie.
I imagine you’ve finished your feast by now, but for tomorrow, have some dining music.
Fun fact- the factory behind them is ACIER steel
That looks awesome. Whatcha gonna get?
I haven’t decided yet. Definately the poutine, but not sure which variety.
Order off the menu. Ask for fries with the gravy on the side, and a bucket of bacon with a fried egg on it. Wear an American flag t-shirt.
I don’t own an American Flag t-shirt.
^ Commi Alert!
*sigh*
Anybody in that place less that 250# is a bulimic.
I’m more concerned that they don’t know how to spell pierogi.
You don’t need to be able to spell to make food.
I think I might make some pierogi this weekend.
I just had to explain to someone from Nashville what pierogies were. He was in Pittsburgh, so he was already suffering.
I’m at Mammoth now. It’s snowing. More on the way tomorrow. This might turn into a Donner Party situation.
Ain’t no party like a Donner party!
…cause a Donner party just wont stop!
(well, till they run out of flash)
Donner party.
I did a season at Mammoth when I was 18. No snow that year and it was the year of sliders. People falling and sliding into the trees for dismemberment. If I remember correctly, there was only one death. It was still a fun winter. 4 bucks an hour to wash dishes and a ski pass.
WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!!
Radfems start schlicking furiously.
Dogs are great. Cats are cool. I want neither living in my house.
What about pussy?
I made her a delicious tri tip for dinner.
Hopefully she’s making you dessert…
I paid off a debt from this morning.
?
I put together an outdoor shelter for the cats and never looked back. It’s so nice to never have to deal with litter boxes or fur tumbleweeds or the sounds of a 2am cat fight.
I’m half tempted to see how much the nice dog shelters are at the place at the end of our street. I’m sure they’re thousands of dollars, but it may be worth it to get the dog outdoors permanently.
A catio? My boss got outmaneuvered by his domestic boss into building one of those.
Catio is a bit fancier than what I made. Mine is the double wide of catios. It’s a bunch of 2x4s and some exterior foam sheeting nailed/screwed together into a 2.5 story cubby. Then I dropped a tarp over the whole thing to keep the rain out and put it under my deck.
We’ve got two of the former and one left of the latter. I love them all, but I don’t intend to rehire for those positions once they’re vacant. I like being able to go on vacations. I like being able to leave a sandwich on a table and know it will be there if I leave the room and come back. I want all the things that use the bathroom in my house to be able to at least explain to me in English why they didn’t do it in the actual toilet if need be.
Me neither. It will have been almost 20 years – that’s enough for me.
Who knew Commie Pope was actually a Nazi.
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2019/05/25/pope-compares-abortion-to-hiring-a-hitman-to-solve-a-problem/
Secret Nazi Pope?
Ugh. Glad to hear your doggie is on the mend without getting fully sliced open. When my doggie was a wee pup, she got a bone fragment that caused blockage and wouldn’t eat. Vet visit, xrays, and hi efficiency dog food later, she passed it thankfully without a knife. Another time she developed diarrhea in the middle of an ice storm, ended up with two nights at the vet hospital and a $2k bill as well.
I dropped a couple thou on cat surgery once and they came back with no idea what was wrong with her. She was sluggish, not eating, etc. She bounced back after a regimen of a bunch of different drugs that may or may not have actually done anything and has been perfectly healthy for the last ten years or so. My confidence in that industry was not raised at all.
Any less sign of distress and I may not have take him in. The result is he would have passed the stone without surgery and the resulting cost. But given that he’s my buddy and was not cheap to begin with, I have no problem with the route I took. He’s the kind of dog that will come over and look you in the eye, and then turn around and sit on your foot, expecting to get petted. And in the field, he will chase a wounded bird for several hundred yards and then come drop it at your feet.
I don’t regret a cent I’ve spent on my doggie either. Still cheap for everything she does.
No dogs or cats in the household. We had a Weimaraner when the kids were young but she too got old and we had to say goodbye. Too much sadness. Better for us now without any pets.
Did anyone get this memo?
https://www.askmen.com/news/dating/american-singles-prefer-long-term-over-hooking-up-says-study.html
Stated vs revealed preference. Goes for the rest of the article.
Related:
https://twitter.com/iknowplacesmp6/status/1131571268539564032
Emphasis added to emphasize how seriously this person should be taken.
OK….which Glib is this?
https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/authorities-don-t-give-dna-to-people-who-come-to-your-house-asking-for-it
I don’t mind giving DNA to hot ladies IYKWIM.
Cream filled or a layer of glaze.
I think I know what you mean. I gots the DNA in all of ya’s.
WRT the story I related about my dog (former) Lucy: https://tinyurl.com/y3y6jtuh
That is a job this American won’t do.
Night crew checking in. Two brews, gin martini, and two vodka tonics in- yay long weekend!
So in other words, you just described “breakfast” ?
Missing bacon.
I am a Florida Man (TM)… So yes.
This was the perfect way to end the party. Thunderstorms rolling in, everybody bailed out within 30 minutes of one another, and they mostly cleaned up after themselves.
Salmon was awesome except I left it on 15 or 30 min too long. Applewood chunks were the right choice. Recipe
I hate people, and I especially hate having kids tramping through my house, but I make an exception on memorial day weekend and it’s always worth it.
Good on ya as the host. I can’t remember the last time attended a party that ended before 3 or 4am.
Cocaine is a helluva drug…
Don’t I know it. (Not any more, thankfully.)
Be serious.
There are times you miss it, no?
Of course.
65% of the attendees had a bedtime before 8pm, so that necessarily put a limit on the end time. However you know how it is. There’s always one person who lingers, and it’s guaranteed to be the person who you invited out of obligation.
I always make sure not to be that person.
I’ve made myself aware that I’m that person some times.
Yeah, it doesn’t always succeed.
Very similar to how I have done salmon in the past but,
I prefer the capers, red onion and cream cheese on a cracker method. I have never tried horseradish with salmon.
We had horseradish out on the table, but I used it on the hot dogs. I think it would’ve been pretty good on the salmon.
We do a couple smoked salmon parties each year. The brine in that recipe is pretty close to what I do. The secret sauce for me is to put a bottle of liquid smoke into it as well.
Personally, I don’t like salmon. I grew up spoiled eating a lot of pan fish, perch and walleye, so something as oily and fatty as salmon just isn’t my bag. The process of brining and smoking the salmon doesn’t help either. By the time the salmon is ready, I’m so sick of smelling the salmon that I eat one or two bites and that is it.
The only part of those parties I enjoy is the sitting by the smoker and drinking beer while monitoring things.
The large amount of fat in salmon makes it excellent served raw. I buy salmon bellies from the local fish market regularly for their nice marbling, they come in at a hefty discount because nobody wants them. Serve ice cold and sliced thin with wasabi paste and soy sauce.
Throw me some slices of belly on a chunk of rice and I’m a very happy man. When it comes to pan fried, or grilled, sockeye is my favorite.
https://twitter.com/MarkDice/status/1131952987285348354
The internet was a mistake.
So, two weeks ago, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they were of her. Then, all of a sudden, Mark Dice kicked open the door and said, “Oh, you think it’s impressive that she can count to ten? I can count to one million.” He then proceeded, for the next two weeks, to count to one million in my living room. Finally, he said “Yep, another libtard destroyed,” and then curbstomped my kid.
Well, that’s her fault for being the only black kid without a gun.
Cablinasian.
and here I thought the punchline was “my toddler was actually 16 years old”
Sorry to hear about your pal, Spud. Neighbor and I were just speculating this afternoon about what we could buy with the money we spent on our animals. Doesn’t matter, though.
They are totally worth it.
I’m not a Floyd fan, really, but that might be among their top five. Terrific song.
All the best to vomit king.
“Spotify’s New Tool Will Help You Achieve Gender-Equal Streaming and Remind You to Buy Alcohol”
https://slate.com/technology/2018/03/spotifys-new-tool-will-help-you-achieve-gender-equal-streaming-remind-you-to-buy-alcohol.html
“OH MY GOD EVEN WHEN YOU LISTEN TO MORE WOMEN THAN MEN IT RECOMMENDS LISTENING TO EVEN MORE WOMEN IM HOWLING”
https://twitter.com/shoe0nhead/status/1131643407615578112
How did she find the shift key?
How did she find the shift key?
She didn’t, it got glued down from all her shemen.
What?
Fluid from her genitals got between the key and the base of the keyboard, likely from some disturbing form of masturbation, and hardened in such a way to engage the shift key.
Now that I explain it, it wasn’t all that funny.
So you are saying she’s a squirter?
Where is SF when you need him?
“Eventually, you run out of other people’s money“
If they’re doing this.. Well, like the song says:
https://youtu.be/gVpaXi5kuXA
Yeah, but this guy thinks he knows where Tesla can get more money.
I can’t think of more sure way to make sure I never buy another Apple product again.
Kaizen!
“Couple accused of posing as Orthodox Jews to convert Jews to Christianity
David Costello and Rivkah Weber look every bit a young Orthodox Jewish couple.
Costello sports a yarmulke and sidelocks and Weber dresses modestly and covers her head.
They keep kosher and never miss Sabbath at the synagogue.
But they do share one little oddity: They believe Jesus is the Messiah.
And they are not shy about spreading their gospel, according to angry members of the Jewish community who say the couple are really Christian infiltrators fishing for converts.
Their presence has rocked synagogues in Brooklyn, and earlier this month in Chicago, after a visitor from New York recognized Costello from a Williamsburg shul and “outed” him.
“People feel betrayed,” one Illinois rabbi told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “If you want to believe in something and sell it, that’s your business. But to come into a community and portray to be something you’re not, prey on people, unsuspecting, is unacceptable.””
https://nypost.com/2019/05/25/couple-accused-of-posing-as-orthodox-jews-to-convert-jews-to-christianity/
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1132392569609052160
I’m not sure if Jesus is the Messiah, but I know He built my hot rod!
I remember when their label sent out promotion bottles of motor oil.
In the sidebar
You have a Mexican car?
JoJs have been doing that shit for years.
What is ‘Shit that never happened,’ Alex.
To be fair, I could see the ultra-Orthodox shunning them.
Shunning, yes. I highly doubt, however, that outside of Preet-speak, they were actually, threatened with violence, particularly in a Chabad-Lubavitch congregation.
I was thinking more about the loss of his job, which would come under shunning, I think.
Jews for Jesus? Yeah, I’ve seen them hanging out in subway stations and shit. Nobody gives a fuck.
That’s always confused me. I’m not involved in any church really, and I’ve known a few evangelicals but certainly have never been a part of that whole deal, but I always thought the idea was that Jews sort of have their own contract and converting them to Christianity is sort of, well, redundant in a sense.
Jews for Jesus.
10% better version
I saw no images of pork products, so I’m not sure if it’s any more or less ‘Jewey’.
Walk softly, CPRM
I think this is the only song we have from them.
Before Chaffed shames me. Walk…not softly.
The best cover of the best Beatles song.
You redeemed yourself MikeS.
“#Borderless has been deleted from YouTube and it was the least political project we have ever worked on. Not even a right wing movie. It literally tells the story from the refugees perspective on the ground. Extremely fair and balanced. Censorship is getting out of control.”
I agree. I just watched it, and it’s biggest point is that NGO’s and smugglers are exploiting the less fortunate to line their own pockets.
Anyway, a backup was posted on YouTube. It’s also on bitchute:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ZQ_fz9EW5Iw/
What’s YT’s purported reason for taking it down?
Rooney just got flattened by the keeper. That is the first time I have ever seen a keeper get a red card, but I think it was deserved.
…and somehow New England still scores first…
Can they both lose?
DC is the default home team in MLS for me, so I root for them. Looks like they are about to end in a tie.
Good enough!
Schumacher v. Battiston
That’s what he gets for thinking he can just transition from automotive sports.
Totally not a shithole.
Next you’ll tell me that they are stealing land from people who know how to farm and giving it to people that don’t.
Is it stealing if the previous owners are dead?
Keep what you kill?
Hey, it worked in colonial America!
And before…
And before that!
That picture is doctored!
Tranny snakes.
Gay frogs were only the beginning.
First they came for the amphibians. then they came for the reptiles…
It seems I have forgotten how to emphasize…
“Drought in California is the new normal.”
Surely you aren’t suggesting that weather is cyclical.
Lake Superior is also way above historical averages after years of the econuts telling us that global warming was going to dry it all up.
The only silver lining in all of this shit weather that is going against all models is that in the next dry cycle, they will all compare the lack of rainfall/snow to this year and get gonzo results.
As is Lake Erie. There were a bunch of local stories about how it’ll ruin the people living by the coast.
Never mind that a couple weeks later there was an article about the fishing season being the best year ever.
Srsly, what could possibly go wrong?
Don’t let it sniff you.
Food for the weekend: SP made gnudi on Friday, basically ricotta and spinach gnocchi, which I served with brown butter and sage. Tonight is Gardein beefless tips and peppers in a brown mole sauce. I’ll make some green beans for a side.
I’ll be right over.
So, once again, we’re livestreaming tonight’s Glibertarians meetup.
Which one are we?
The guy in the purple polo shirt.
Would.
Yeah, she’s dope.
Hopefully she likes upper-twenty-something white guys with a career, poor grooming habits, and a pair of cats.
3rd
Ditto. I bring to the table the following: gorilla traps, a pleasing baritone, and I can raise one eyebrow like you’ve never seen.
Sigh. One more thing to fight against.
That video of Nancy Pelosi that was slowed down to make her look bad? That was not tweeted out by Trump. His tweet was to a montage of Pelosi that was aired on Fox Business.
No worries from the main stream press though. They are all revving up the outrage machine and accusing Trump of tweeting out a doctored video of Pelosi.
I didn’t follow the story closely and I just assumed he had tweeted the edited video. They got me. a) Who cares if it was edited? b) Why lie about such a little thing? c) Can anyone say “fine people”?
I can’t even with any of that. Because I’m not five years old any more.
doctored video
These are the same people that call zooming in “doctored”.
Anderson Cooper grilled Facebook for not removing the video.
Do you even have to slow down a video of Pelosi to make her look bad?
Whelp, that’s it, they finally got him, he’ll be impeached for sure now.
Drumpfffffff is FINASHED!!!
Sorry to hear about your little buddy, Spud, but good to hear he’s on the mend.
My hound is pretty much 100% recovered from her TPLO and tumor removal in February, but I am now aware of “clipping alopecia” – I’m going to have a patchwork dog for a while.
Glad to hear it. One question for you dog lovers out there: How exactly does the vet do this: “Fortunately, the rock had moved down far enough that the vet was able to work it down the colon towards the back end.”?
I’d assume some form of abdominal palpation.
It doesn’t sound like a fun thing to have done.
Open belly, doc palpating the colon and moving it along. The exploratory incision is big, which allows the surgeon to palpate the intestines from the stomach to the rectum. She found gas and inflammation at the dog version of the appendix, and found the stone below that.
“Palpate” is the word that’s tripping me up. Which one can I switch it out for: abut, rub, probe, converge, stroke, caress, verge, border, fondle, toy, scrutinize, paw, pet, tickle, contact, partake, osculate, dab, march, inspect.
Try “massage”
Intestinal Massage
+1 album name
It’s a combination. Feel your way around until you feel something that isn’t normal, and then feel around until you figure it out. It requires knowing what you’re feeling means.
Heh, that’s how I remove my Taco Bell dinner.
https://twitter.com/LMAOBS/status/1130564048288923649
Google seems the most stupid.
Kick ass batch of smoked ribs tonight. Local, quality product makes all the difference in the world.
Based on upthread comments, I think I’ll be making pierogi tomorrow. Mushroom and sauerkraut.
Those are the best pierogi.
I may lobby SP to make them…
Morel and home made sauerkraut. They freeze very well.
I’m sorry, but you are wrong. My favorite are habanero, potato, and cheese. Second favorite are the bacon, egg, and cheese ones for breakfast.
Heretic.
I’m an American mutt. I just happen to live in the area where I can get packzi and pierogi whenever I want.
It doesn’t help that I like spicy food, which means far too many arguments in too many restaurants.
I’m buying a pig from a buddy who raises them for family and friends. 400 clams butchered. Should be ready in a few months as they are fattening up now.
400 for the whole hog? That’s a boargain!
Booooo! Boooooo! Booooooooooo!
Ya, 400 butchered. He told me 300 and I told him he wasn’t charging enough and said I would give him 400. (I am a horrible negotiator) Butchers here charge over 400 to butcher a hog you take to them. In a few months I will be up to my belly in pork.
I would have agreed on 300 then paid him 400. Always better when it’s a surprise, just ask STEVE.
I’m making tamales tomorrow.
No doubt. I get my meat from a butcher shop owned and operated by a husband and wife who raise a lot of the meat on their farm, and they buy the rest from local producers. They have totally spoiled me on good meat; I can never go back to the grocery store stuff.
Anyway, I have one of their pork butts on the smoker right now for pulled pork and a pot of homemade BBQ sauce simmering on the stove. I don’t have regular buns that people usually use for pulled pork sammiches, but I have pita breads, which I believe might be a better choice for containing and enveloping a sloppy mess like pulled pork. I’ll report back on how it goes.
Getting ready to dig into my own smoked ribs….hope as good as yours were!
This evenings grilling beverage.
Local beer? What’s the verdict?
Not guilty by reason of insanity
I didn’t notice the soapy aftertaste until I read the reviews. I have had better but I am not pouring it in the sink.
You drink cilantro beer?
I don’t get the cilantro = soap verdict. Cilantro doesn’t taste like soap to me, it tastes like cilantro which is delicious.
Agreed.
Nothing sets off Mexican or Indian food like some fresh cilantro on top.
I had a cilantro plant a few summers ago. I always hear that herbs – especially cilantro – love the heat. But that thing looked wimpy as hell all summer; I didn’t pluck any leaves off of it because it looked like the plant wouldn’t survive. More than a few times, I was pretty sure it had died.
But when the cold, rainy Ohio autumn rolled around, that thing perked right up and got big and bushy. I had more cilantro than I knew what to do with. But believe me, my curries were better than ever thanks to the cilantro (straight off the plant) that I sprinkled on top.
herbs – especially cilantro – love the heat
*shakes head vigorously *
My cilantro is trying to bolt and we haven’t eclipsed 90* yet.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/OR6A2
So people who think cilantro = soap have a genetic defect?
Yes, they’re freaky mutants.
Just like people who don’t produce asparagus urine.
If you don’t like cilantro for any reason you’re defective.
And no not local beer. Brewed in Boulder.
That’s disappointing. I’ve enjoyed their stuff in the past.
It is not horrible by any means. This is next in the line up. I like it in spite of it being an IPA. Keep in mind I am an off the shelf cheap giant producer beer drinker but now that we have build your own six packs I am trying to expand my horizons.
Love my cheap beer.
Most craft brews are too potent for me, like drinking a steak.
The internet:
https://twitter.com/2dArtOnline/status/1129157493320499201
Dafuq did I just click?
The internet, evidently.
So I have this gas grill. While it is possible to use it to smoke, I am finding tedious and that I use too much gas. As such I am in the market for a dedicated smoker. I would like to get the Weber Smokey Mountain, but 3-4 hundred dollars for one grill is more than enough. I am leaning towards this one from Dyna-Glo. It has the capacity I want can double as a smallish charcoal grill. Any thoughts or things I should look for in budget bullet smokers?
I’ve got a Weber and a cheap off-set smoker (picked up at a local hardware store). Both work well, the key is knowing what you’re doing with both the grill and the food.
If its too pricey, can’t you just repurpose an old 55 gallon drum?
Hell, Alton Brown made a smoker out of a large cardboard box and skillet full of woodchips on a hotplate.
He also made one from terracotta flower pots
Drunk fishing one night back in the day, we cooked trout on the inside door panel of a late 70’s Ford van. We removed it from the van first.
I’ve had a few cheap smokers, biggest problem is that they rust out quickly. I’m in salty South Florida, YMMV.
I have one of these that my dad got almost 30yrs ago. It has a patina of rust, but I leave it out all summer, am planning on resealing it this year. Charcoal and wood and everything good.
Spud; I didn’t write down your jerky recipe. Can you either re-post it or remind me what day that was so I can get it myself? We are readying another batch of eye of round for the dehydrator and want to try your recipe.
Nevermind. Found it.
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
https://twitter.com/PageSix/status/1132383533354377216
You don’t know what we can find
The AA mechanics union is engaged in deliberate slowdown for the last several days. And I’m experiencing it myself as my AA flight from JFK to LHR is delayed for I don’t know how long.
Pissing off the people who pay your salary is a solid strategy, Lou.
Well, daddy government will always step in to ‘mediate’.
It’s a bold strategy, Rhywun, let’s see if it pays off for them.
Lord Humungus Regional?
London Heathrow
That’s would be a higher quality airport. Also, guzzoline.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IATA_airport_code
So… you’ll have to fly on a plane fixed by drunk mechanics?
Nah, just greedy.
At least the flight attendant union is not on strike, so I got a Glenlivet while we’re on the ground. The FA even joked about a triple, he’s young and cute.
Finally got a new (used, but new to me) car. No longer have to juggle borrowed vehicles. It’s pretty flash, if I may say so.
Range Rover? Really?
CPRM – I might have an idea you can use. If interested, email me at: (myhandle+1 (one word)) at gee, mail dot com.
Oh – no actual plus sign, and the handle is all lower.
Styling wise I was a Range Rover man, until I saw the Kia Telluride…
No, not a fucking range rover. Just wanted to share that clip.
Is there a difference between a range rover and a fucking range rover?
One is an incel, the other is married to Spice Girl.
Who is Spice Girl?
Not a naked intruder, either. But, we all see how that turned out.
::hangs head in clothed shame and embarrassment::
Portuguese car commercial that might trigger some 80’s nostalgia for some of you nerds.
A vehicle named “outsider” seems more suited to the EU market at present.
That is way too involved for a car commercial.
If you don’t work, then you don’t eat
And only down ass niggas can ride with me
Hop, hop, hop your five quickly down the block
Stay suckafree and keep the busters off your jock
??
But…but…but…
We need to “create a more environmentally sound country with economic benefits for everyone — even those who don’t want to work.”
Hmmm…you seem new here. Have you met Yusef, yet?
Poor, Doggie. Sorry for your pup, Spud, but some of them do eat some silly shit. Damn. But glad it all worked out… in the end…? (Can I ask for a little forbearance from Swiss on this one?)
I’m just going to leave this here…
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/826542779530608640/xlrJdlJd.jpg
WOW, much clever. So brave. Such speaking truth to power LMAO.
/prog
This was on Drudge today.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7XLsKEXkAAqZpq.jpg
Real or photoshopped?
Didn’t he lose like 150 lbs or something? He may want to put it back on if that is result.
I have no idea. Having his belt damn near his chest looks like a caricature.
Ok, unlike you ‘rich’ folk, gotta work again in the mornin. I’ll just leave you with this. I like to play this song at work, but sometimes it leads to some female gaze from cow orkers, which makes me feel like a piece of meat. So I like it.
Love the contra bass part.
/chorister
I sing tomorrow morning, but it’s not a super early gig.
Today was okay. Set up Wifey’s new miter saw and moved the new sofa in. Aside from having the scampers from over-imbibing in Blonde Ale the night before. The kitties were very interested in the sofa because the old one was where another one decided to crawl into and die for no apparent reason a few years ago. We thought she’s escaped out the door until about a week later when the unmistakable stench of death started emanating from right where I lay my head. Grabbed a blade and cut the upholstery, sure enough. It was a high end hide-a-bed model and we had to toss the thing, kitty included. That was rough.
OMG. Yikes.
This story, along with Tres’ dog diarrhea in bed story, win the evening.
Hey—good evening to every ::reads stories:: OHDEARGOD!
Were your ears burning last night SD?
Did I miss out on something? Thought I talked with all interested parties.
OK, I went back and looked. No wonder I slept like crap. And, I get to stay up so much longer!
I assumed you weren’t here because you were enjoying your life in meatspace.
Meh…up for 24ish hours, so, not exactly (at that point). Still getting used to posting here on weekends and on an ipad. One really drags the other down, unfortunately. But, my electronic family keeps me company
::Aaaawwwww!::
I thought you work second shift Monday – Friday. Did I get it wrong?
Well, overnights (2nd? 3rd?), Su-Th. I tend to take Thursdays for holiday days, and screw with my sleep schedule when I have anything more than 2 days off. I make it work, for the most part, since I’m the one who wanted night shift.
Got it.
You know I was just twisting yer tail, right?
Who, me? I didn’t even really pay that much attention.
I mean, a basement? In Texas?? Smdh…
Okay, crawlspace. Same diff.
Oy. Sorry that happened. Sounds awful.
It was shocking and I sobbed a little. Thing is, I’ve seen dead humans before but just knowing she was there the whole time really upset me for some reason. We were scouring the neighborhood looking hither and yon, even printed up some fliers. That piece of furniture weighed about 250 lbs but I managed somehow to get it out the door on my own in about two minutes flat.
It’s terrible losing a pet. I’m sure you were shocked to figure out where she was and probably upset you didn’t have the opportunity to dispose of body the way you would have wanted.
There was a bear in the yard the night she went AWOL. She was pretty high-strung and maybe the shock got her. I thought the boys may have murdered her but there was no blood, fur or any sign of struggle. Just a healthy five year-old cat that died in the couch. I miss her, she was a sweet Kitteh named Yo-Yo because of her propensity for jumping back up when you’d brush her off your lap.
http://empty-universe.com/396/952447.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/ZEYBl/3f3782b53a70afb1cd403a90d978fcbd89a0979c.jpg
NSFW.
https://x.imagefapusercontent.com/u/Nathan1380/5545438/1262627596/Issue45-Kristina_Brown_Wall_bn12kristina_05of39_3000.jpg
NSFW.
We have a winner.
Nipples brushed across the eyelids during a cowgirl.
It…I…accident…mistake…tits.
I, uh, have to, uh….and, uh, go see about…excuse me.
Yeah. She is the definition of future lower back problems.
I would gladly help carry her burdens…burden.
You’re a giver.
Yes, although it would be a mutually beneficial situation.
Christ on toast!
It’s almost as if teaching useful skills helps students.
https://www.jamesgmartin.center/2019/05/politicized-art-schools-are-losing-students-to-the-atelier-movement/
Pffft…pragmatist.
Learn to meme.
It’s a lot more likely than learning to code.
I blame their parents for inculcating their attitude.
https://wattsupwiththat.com/2019/05/24/young-people-blame-climate-change-for-their-small-401k-balances/
We (Californians) really are idiots.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/columnists/californias-high-speed-rail-wasnt-captured-by-contractors-it-was-created-by-them
So, I’m finally giving the Motley Crue movie a whirl on Netflix. Kinda diggin it.
The guy playing Ozzy would also make a good Bruce Dickinson.
Also, Ramsey Bolton being Mick is both weird AND brilliant.
ö
Yeah, show off you amaze-balls computer skillz, you show-off.
Umlaut for the win!
My brother wanted to name his metal band “Umlaut” back in he mid-eighties.
Colon could open.
And, it is kinda fun to say.
Many interpretations for this comment! Gud’un, Gaijin!
I was expressing surprise.
I partially figured as much. Just that, I miss posting from a pc. With monocle.
? ö
(most phone keyboards have an option to hold the letter key to get the fancy foreign letters (diacritics??)
Shit—did I run off all the semi respectable glibs? Or, is it just that they have better options?
I’m still here so probably?
Hmmm…checks out.
Yes, yes it does.
Here ya go. They made it from all the chimes that they play at the station when the doors are closing. I kinda like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqcAaBK1UIU&feature=share
Aside from the seaside scenes that looks positively nightmarish to me.
Really? I like nature and the city.
Can’t stand crowds. Can’t stand being around groups larger than a dozen unless I’m tipsy. It’s weird, I used to be one of those “life of the party” types. People just piss me off and I don’t give a shit about my lawn.
This year we have honest to god blue jays nesting in our trees. Those guys are not supposed to be this side of the Rockies or this far North. Climate change is REAL y’all!
I find that surprising. This is the daytime theme music for summer here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6P7k4np0Js
I hardly notice it when I am here but if I am gone for any time at all I get really home sick for it.
Summer night theme music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HNAp_BPf9E
It makes sense that blue jays would spread all over NA. They are very tough and adaptive. I am a little surprised that you are just now seeing them.
We have Stellars Jays, another flavor of corvid. We didn’t use to have whitetail deer here and then we did. Elk have moved into the moose habitat. Wolves and coyotes are roaming and foxes are breeding like vermin. Our type of red fox is calico. Nature wins.
I guess those habitats expand and contract all of the time. Some of the early settlers here talked about seeing moose in Georgia and Grizzlies would wander into the gulf coast area on occasion. Bison were not uncommon. We have several places here in Louisiana named after Bison.
The Blue Jays stay in Toronto.
WTF? I stop paying attention to the news for two freakin’ days come back for five minutes and we have space aliens? The X-Files was a documentary? I am calling bullshit on that until I see the evidence.
And the Dems are having increasingly bad temper tantrums? Trump yelled at them? He doctored a video? If that really all they have left to tell lies about?
Ugh. Maybe I should have stayed away from the news.
?
Hell, I don’t know. I heard a blip on the radio…government admits we have space aliens and they have recovered materials.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HNAp_BPf9E. <—Not really new
Haven’t had whipperwills around here for a while, but I don’t know what that has to do with aliens 😉
I don’t see anything from anyone resembling a credible source…if there is such. thing anymore….but one of the MSM radio blips mentioned that the Air Force? Navy? has recovered crashed craft.
This is the first thing that pops in my head:
http://business.time.com/2011/08/16/paul-krugman-an-alien-invasion-could-fix-the-economy/
yeah. I am calling bullshit.