Motel Living

 

I started living in a motel at the end of April, due mostly to my evil BiL; we can come back to that, it’s irrelevant to the story right now. I acquired a smoking deal through my company lodging card, and the boss approved several weeks on the company dime, since I wasn’t getting the hours I needed and it seems they need me.

After about 4.5 weeks my son found a “person” and due to her nature she was not allowed on the property, little did I know. So a Tuesday comes around, I’m 90 miles south and the phone rings; it’s the wife telling me they are kicking us out Now! and I need to come back, so I did. It turns out my company card was declined, and the lady/whore was the last straw, so we bounced….

Now the fun part is “we” means myself, my power chair bound wife, my son (also my apprentice), my dog Bella, my 20 year old cat, and for a while, my granddaughter Riley. 

 

 

Electric Gypsy Caravan. We have the typical unmarked white van, and of course Kia Korean Kar!!! 

 

 

Things again had to be pared down and stored after we were kicked out of ESA, and a bunch of stuff went into our already packed storage units, but still we go on.

Tomorrow we head north to Santa Clara.

Santa Clara was a 3 day trip that turned into a 7 day nightmare of blown tires, missing parts and incompetent contractors; glad we left, up north is nuts. From then ’til now it’s been a constant move from place to place, we have spent 6 days at the Motel 6 in Hesperia, dog friendly, and the people are nice.

 

 

 

We are too old for this, the money is enough to keep us going, barely, and we are tired; what an Adventure! We left Son behind, he was too attached to his woman of the night, and things are much more chill, but hey, Road!

San Dimas.

Parked again, maybe for a week, maybe a day, ’til next time, Cheers!

Comments

299 responses to “Motel Living”

  1. Spudalicious

    I can see a faint, “free candy” on the side of the van. OMWC hand me down?

    1. Spudalicious

      You’re a better man than I, Yusef. I would be hard pressed to make it through that “adventure”.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m looking for some black paint for the windows, nevermind the crayon marks……

  2. Heroic Mulatto

    Geez Louise! Don’t they teach you can’t turn a ho into a housewife in school anymore?

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Common Core is subsidized by the Ho Lobby.

    2. Florida Man

      Kanye West says “Huh?!?”

      1. AlmightyJB

        That made me laugh

  3. Not Adahn

    Bella looks guilty. What did she do?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      ate the cat poop again, probably

      1. Isn’t that one of those good problems where you never have to clean the litterbox?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Bella wants to lick your face, you tell me….

          1. I’ll ask HM for the proper take on this.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Cat butt to mouth?

          3. These are the phrases I could only learn here.

          4. AlmightyJB

            I’m not into beastiality but that is a nice brindle.

  4. Count Potato

    “San Dimas”

    Woah!

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I hear their football team “rules”. I don’t know if that’s true, but, it sure gets applause.

      /in ’89

  5. Sean

    You are a fascinating dude, Yusef.

    Cheers! ??

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello! and yes I am still available Facsinating guy, I should be headed towards Flagstaff right now, OTW to Denver. We get to spend July working on the Chase Building, instead I’m stuck in San Dimas ! again

    1. Raphael

      Hope you have a good time in Flagstaff. Some of my best friends used to live in those parts.

  7. Tulip

    When I was in my 20s, I worked for a construction company and got sent to Asheville Nebraska. I lived in a motel. It was supposed to be 6 weeks and turned into 4 months. Then I had to move from Fargo to San Antonio while living in the Asheville motel. Fun times. It really was actually. But I can’t imagine doing it with pets and kids. Hats off to you Yusef.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Well, the kid is 27, the Gdaughter went back to momma, the Dog only pukes in the first 50 miles, and the Cat sleeps,so it’s all good,

      1. Not Adahn

        The cat does seem tranquil, and Bella seems also to have mellowed from her earlier photos.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Bella is a nutjob, she broke her Kong harness yesterday, amazing little beast,
          I want my money back, Bella broke Kong!

  8. Tulip

    Bella and the kitty are cute

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Kittah is having the best time of all, she sleeps…
      I need to try and get her on a leash, she wants to roll in the grass, poor kittah…

      1. Tulip

        Even my cat tolerated a figure 8 leash, so it can be done

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Good to know, really, thanks Tulip!

          1. Tulip

            Put it on her and let her get used to the harness for a while – like days- before trying to take her outside

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Ah, easy enough in her position,

      2. I used to have a crazy cat lady neighbor who walked her show cats with a lighted green leash. One day one of her cats ran up the tree in front of my house. A friend and I were in the front yard and she told us we were responsible for getting the bat down since it was in my tree. While I knew she was wrong, I got the ladder and was the nice guy who got her cat down.

        I got scratched to hell in the process. Her house was repossessed a few years later. I went inside when there was an open house. She had destroyed it before she left and the whole place smelled like cat piss.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          After her demand, did you kinda know what you were going to see when you walked inside? I mean, it seems that they would go together: being a bitch, and….being a destructive bitch.

        2. CPRM

          That’s true of anyone with even one cat, not just cat ladies. People are just too nice to say it. But smoke one fucking cigarette in a house and the way people act you’d think it’s fucking Chernobyl.

          1. CPRM

            I have cheap tastes. Until the beginning of this year when I switched to vaping USA Gold Menthol was my shit.

          2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Ah…well, good on ya (I think).

  9. Tulip

    Hey, some guy actually claims to have read my profile. Woo hop! And he hasn’t asked if I wannafud yet. Things are looking up.

    1. Not Adahn

      Ah, a smooth operator.

      1. Tulip

        Actually yes, compared to the rest. You would not believe this shit. JFC they make the guys that hit on me at the 7-11 look really, really good. And, I’m not a cougar. Im

        1. Tulip

          Oops, I’m not a cougar, but am starting to think I should be as a favor to other women. Train ’em right!

          1. Florida Man

            Do you want a flock of gimps? Because this is how you get a flock of gimps!

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            You bad bad girl!

          3. Tulip

            Hey, I think I look my age, but some (younger men) don’t. I put them off. But if the online dating keeps being this creepy, well..

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            You’re looking in the wrong place. You should be looking for dates here.

            You know what they say, “Once you go Glib, you’ll come just from drinking a Mr. Pibb.”

          5. Tulip

            That really would be falling into a SugarFree story.
            Just kidding

          6. Not Adahn

            Hey! It was good enough for Sloopy and Kibbe!

          7. Tulip

            Kibbe? Does Banjos know? That may explain why Sloopy hasn’t been around.

          8. Old Man With Candy

            Kibby married Grand Moff. At least I think they got married- with jesse.in.mb officiating, you never know.

          9. Not Adahn

            As long as they’re midway through their twenties, they won’t be any more flaky/juvenile than other guys.

          10. Spudalicious

            Heh heh. You said “train”.

          11. Florida Man

            Choo! Choo!

          12. Old Man With Candy

            Well, you know that SugarFree is single, though clearly meant for special tastes.

          13. Tulip

            I thought he was married.

          14. Florida Man

            We’ve got a nibble.

          15. Old Man With Candy

            Nope. The heads in the freezer put off prospective mates, even though he explains that they’re there strictly for research purposes.

          16. But isn’t his pick up line just “wannafud?” Tulip seems to go more for the long term commitment before you’ve ever met them type.

          17. Heroic Mulatto

            I ship Tulip and SugarFree, and I’m not apologizing for anything.

    2. Pan Zagloba
    3. Something must be wrong with him. He sent some dick pics at least . . right??

    4. Sean

      If you want to find true love, forward 10 good dick pics to Jesse.

      I’ve heard that’s a thing.

      1. Sean

        *Jesse totally did not pay me to say that. However, if this takes off, he should.

        ???

        1. Tulip

          I’ll forward them to you and SugarFree

          1. Sean

            I can do without, but thank you (I think) for the offer.

            Do not expect a thank you note either way. ?

    5. As someone who has been on the other end of this online dating thing, I can understand why men quit putting in the effort. I spent my first several months crafting personal messages based on profiles only to see no responses. Eventually, I realized the return wasn’t worth the effort. While my response rate still stayed depressingly low, I got more responses with general phrases like “hey, what’s up” than any personalized message.

      1. Tulip

        It totally stands out to me.

        1. Not Adahn

          More than a decade (two decades?) ago, I was on a internet dating site. They had a very formal process where you matched, then exchanged canned responses, then something else, then finally could make direct contact. They were so stupid as to maintain records of what happened in an easily searchable format, and being able to see that the stats (10% of those you were interested in matched, 10% of those exchanged messages, etc) was amazingly depressing.

    6. Tulip

      Fuck, I think he just proposed. Yikes!

      1. Not Adahn

        Not afraid of commitment!

        1. Tulip

          I am!

      2. Florida Man

        That was fast. Where are you registered?

          1. Raphael

            *golf claps*

          2. Florida Man

            Clever girl…

          3. Chafed

            *standing ovation*

      3. Proposed like marriage . . or like a quickie after shooting up in the 7-11 bathroom?

        1. Tulip

          He says: I will be with you and care for you as God allows.

          Block , block, block!

          1. Sean

            That escalated quickly.
            ?

          2. Not Adahn

            Eh, it’s really your own fault for sending him your recipes.

          3. Florida Man

            Oh baby. You should collect as many of these nuts as possible and write an article.

          4. I think if she collects all the nut, she’ll be the crazy one.

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            Tulip already collects all the nuts:

          6. Florida Man

            That maybe the most awesome picture I’ve ever seen.

          7. Well, now everybody gets to see the horrific image conjured in my mind. All that is missing is the severed penises.

          8. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Wait….so, she’s a prostitute? Or, she only bangs sailors?

            /or, both?

          9. Tulip

            Oh, I am!. I’m pretending to be an anthropologist. It’s the only way to keep from crying and screaming.

          10. Spudalicious

            Wow. Look at the religious bigot here. 😛

          11. CPRM

            You’d rather he sent dick picks? I’m picking up mixed signals here.

        2. Tulip

          I’m going to end up telling Melvin (my massage therapist) about this guy. Eek!

    7. Tulip

      I think you guys think I’m kidding about this shit. I’m not.

      1. Not Adahn

        Oh no, we completely believe you.

      2. You don’t want someone who cares?

      3. Nephilium

        Nope. I believe you entirely. I can’t imagine being back out in the dating scene again.

          1. Eh . . .you guys are just jealous that we get to continue to face constant rejection.

          2. Nephilium

            We can still get all that rejection, and hold onto the false hopes that the cute bartenders and waitresses may be at least entertained by us.

          3. Lackadaisical

            Same. . . Which is looking more and more likely.

      4. Raphael

        I believe you. There’s quite a few reasons I haven’t bothered with online dating at all.

        1. Tulip

          Well, now you’re getting the benefits of my experience

          1. Raphael

            I appreciate it to be honest and also wish you the best in your ventures.

          2. dbleagle

            Mahalo Tulip. I was thinking about dipping my toe in the online dating ocean and you convinced me to avoid that swim.

            I do wish you the best in your search though.

        2. Florida Man

          Because you’re already drowning in trim?

        3. Tulip

          Apparently, if I choose to accept their offers. Shudders!

        4. commodious spittoon

          I’ve been single for a couple years but haven’t seriously considered online dating. Seems like subscribing to depression.

      5. Raven Nation

        Hey I met my wife via e-harmony. She was 40, I was 49, neither of us ever married before. We married about 3 years ago when she was 45 and i was 54.

        1. Florida Man

          Congratulations. Online dating appeals to my sense of efficiency. Set the filters, get potential mates. Unfortunately the boots on the ground reports do not conform to my ideas.

        2. Rhywun

          E-harmony does position itself as the “serious” dating site.

          They don’t cater to my kind, but I did try match.com geez almost a couple decades ago. Complete bust. But I didn’t really put much effort into it.

        3. Tulip

          My neighbor just suggested I try eharmony instead

    8. SP

      When my best friend was doing online dating, she received a message from a guy with a profile that read, in part, “Must not be freaked by genital deformities and should enjoy taking things to the dump.”

      She nearly replied because she was convinced the guy had a great sense of humor. I shut that down pronto.

      1. Tulip

        Yeah, believe them. It’s like someone looking for a liberal roommate. You are not that liberal.

      2. Chafed

        That date would have made a great story or a fascinating police report.

        1. Nephilium

          Why not both?

  10. Florida Man

    If you have a van, why aren’t you living down by the river?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      We are in L.A. they don’t have rivers here, not real ones….

      1. Florida Man

        Why aren’t you living by the dry concrete basin?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I’m homeless, this is true, but I got a decent job, good transportation, tons of weed and smoked, and a good crew to lead, onward to ADVENTURE!

          1. Florida Man

            Good for you. Keep your head up!

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            I refuse to live by a river eating cheese! I’ll bbq instead….

          3. OneOut

            O hate to see someone with a good job describing themselves as homeless.

          4. The Bearded Hobbit

            I got a decent job, good transportation, tons of weed and smoked, and a good crew to lead

            U D MAN!! To my way of thinking, it doesn’t get much better than that!

        2. blackjack

          Ah HEM! There’s a badassed river just north of Azuza. There’s a bunch more in various canyons around the city. There’s none IN the city, but plenty around the city.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            AHEM! I grew up in the Baldy area, cucamonga creek etc. Azusa cyn, meh…. Let’s go hiking….

    2. Why would he live in a van . . . he has a KIA!

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    This is actually the worst position I have ever put myself into, I intend on climbing out, people need me, and I need me,
    YARG!!!!!

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Well done

  12. Ownbestenemy

    I do not envy you Yusef…yet I do. I cannot stay in one place, but married and a good job hinder that. I have resorted to changing little things daily to facilitate the need

  13. Nephilium

    Damn, I’ve been in hotels for two weeks this month. And it’s already driving me mad.

    1. Tulip

      I bought a mini slow cooker and a cooler and made baked potatoes. I couldn’t take bar food every night

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        We have our own microwave, a bbq is next.
        We also have litter boxes, commodes, ladders, puke towel, ukuleles, a Moog,
        2 cartons of smokes and a shit ton of insulin,

        1. Florida Man

          We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
          Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            I stay clear of Thompsonesqe charades at my age, Beer and Weed is fine

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            What’s cool, IMO, is only one person could have said those words, they are so obvious…

          3. Florida Man

            I think of that monologue anytime I’m making a list. Classic.

          4. dbleagle

            Only one person could have captured the zeitgeist of Vegas so well. Huzzah for the quote as well. Damn maybe I should watch that on Netflix tonight.

        2. Count Potato

          Which Moog?

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            The basic Werkstatt, 225 bucks, very small, very cool because I/O connections like the big boys, I use Arduino with it, fun….

        3. Nephilium

          One business trip I was on, I had grabbed a room in one of those suite places. Where you get a full fridge, a stovetop, and a microwave. I went to a local grocery store (reminiscent of Whole Foods), picked up ingredients, and cooked most of my meals that week. My boss complained that I made everyone else look bad on expenses, even as I bought nothing but top quality ingredients. Off the top of my head, there was egg, cheddar and prosciutto sandwiches for breakfast, pasta carbonara, pork chops over wild rice, etc.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Eggs over easy, yeesssssss

          2. The Bearded Hobbit

            Huevos Rancheros, red, yeesssssss.

  14. blackjack

    Man, it sounds like Slab City got under your skin!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Maybe in October, I considered a weekend there but 120 degrees? No.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        So, I’m headed to Denver, arriving early evening Thursday, ain’t been there for 25 years, don’t know where to stay or what to do, and we have 3 days downtime, any suggestions? I brought my own weed remember….

        1. The Bearded Hobbit

          I lived there for a short while but, like you, it was 25 years ago.

          Daughter #2 is named “Zephyr” and at the time, that was the name of the AAA team in Denver. For her 10th birthday in 1994 we took an overnight trip that included a ballgame. Z’s won over Omaha, 3-2.

        2. Stay in the Tech Center and take the train downtown if you wanna head down there. Way cheaper than actually staying downtown.

          There are beaucoup breweries:

          https://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=breweries&find_loc=Denver%2C+CO

          And a lot more than that.

          Rockies are in town playing the Dodgers, that’s always fun.

          1. Raven Nation

            Also Jazz clubs

  15. Tulip

    Nobody liked my musical offering? I will repeat it until you are as awestruck as I am
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jM8dCGIm6yc

    1. Tulip

      How do they make that sound?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        By manipulating formants so they are melodic.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        So you’re probably also a Tuvan throat singing fan?

        1. Tulip

          Maybe. I just want to see these guys in concert. I made it my colleague’s problem since he sent me this.

        2. Not Adahn

          Tuvan was the worst Vulcan ever.

          1. No, his name was Tupac!

          2. Rhywun

            Ha, me and my buddy always called him Tupac. We were so original.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            I had the pleasure of interviewing Tim Russ over the phone for college radio. Cool guy, and admitted to being an Objectivist.

          4. Rhywun

            That’s cool. IIRC he’s really into Trek.

          5. Not Adahn

            I had the pleasure of interviewing Tim Russ

            Over the phone, you probably couldn’t tell if he had his whiteboard, but did he tell you stories about his father?

          6. Not Adahn

            *dives for cover*

          7. Chafed

            Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes.

          8. whiz

            CPRM, somehow I knew who that would be. (And I heartily agree.)

          9. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Well, we really enjoy guns around here.

        3. Spudalicious

          Q. How much is a Tuvan throat singer?

          A. $20, same as downtown.

    2. Rhywun

      I was frightened and confused by it.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I’m not all that into Irish music.

    4. Lackadaisical

      Better than most posted here. I like the more traditional sounding ones though.

    5. Chafed

      If you want to date a biker then date a biker.

      Why do they want to fight so many animals? I’m not sure they are good for you.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Why do they want to fight so many animals?

        You take what you can get…?

        Seconded on the if/then biker advice.

        1. Chafed

          Thumbs down on the animal fighting.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Agreed. I just figure they’re working their way up the species ladder.

  16. Fourscore

    Yusef, you have my sympathy. I did my share of the “temporary housing” thing when I was working. Now I hardly leave my yard. Some day it’ll all be behind you and you’ll wonder how you managed life’s problems along with the daily grind. I don’t envy you but keep a steady hand on the tiller and one day you’ll be back in home port, wherever that is.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Thanks 4×20+2, I was never a big traveler, and with the wife handicapped, its help for the lot of us, but Love and Reason are a cool mix, it will be fine, at some point, You guys help a lot…

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      4 full stop, oh so yummy,Q for the win!

      1. OneOut

        7what type of work do you do Yusef ?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Really? I’m an HVAC service tech, but my nickname is Bob the builder, because I build things…

          1. OneOut

            8u8yeah I forgot. I have a tendency to read the comments without paying attention to the poster.

            I was kinda hoping I could help you out as I am in the construction business also.

            I can’t believe that a commeercial construction company that moves you around that much doesn’t put you up.

            What do they do ? Just hire locals that they don’t know ?

            We bring our crews and put them in a motel or apartment so we can insure our quality.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Right now I work for a commercial Electrical company doing specialty work

        3. Yusef drives a Kia

          And, change your filter!

          1. I don’t see what that has to do with the thermostat.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            You will if you dont

  17. Lackadaisical

    Props on being so stoic yusef, I would have gone oin a rampage at this point.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      At this point, Stoicism=lots of weed and patience, thanks Lacky

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I wanna say something….but, I’m gonna be chill, since you got here first.

      1. CPRM

        Yeah, when I got here I ctl-f’d to make sure no else had done it already. I’m a pro like that.

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    When I came here from TOS I was flying high, things were great etc now I’m here, homeless, with a phone, a tablet, 2 vehicles, a job, and love, and the Glibs, your support has been awesome,
    Thank You All!
    Night time, out!

    1. CPRM

      Blame Capitalism, it came in through the window at night and knocked up your teenage daughter! It’s unfettered and roaming free on the streets terrorizing innocent people! Won’t anyone think of the Children!?

    2. OneOut

      Home is where the heart is.

      This is your home.

    1. straffinrun

      Doubt it. We don’t have age restrictions.

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, blocked to me

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Y’all need to change your filters.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s blocked as in I require a Youtube account.

            Nuh-uh.

          2. Florida Man

            That’s what Yusuf keeps telling me!

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      OK–who around here is calling it ‘wanking’? ‘Fess up, now, ya limey.

  19. Lachowsky

    The boy has been asking a lot of questions about how different things are made. Cars, bridges, houses, etc.

    I made him listen to I, Pencil.

    After listening he said, “so people all over the world work together to make stuff without even knowing they are working together?”

    I’m so fucking proud I cant see straight. Smart boy.

    1. CPRM

      “My poopy was made by a chinaman! Daddy told me so!”

    2. Chafed

      Good father.

    3. Raphael

      Good stuff, Lach. Hope it keeps going well for you and the kiddos.

    4. Tejicano

      That’s the way my dad raised me – from about the 6th grade I can’t look at a manufactured object without noting its construction, nails, screws, casting seams, welding points, bends, joints, etc. It was really my first step towards an engineering degree. Good of you to get your son started the right way.

    5. Wait until he asks you how babies are made. 😉

  20. CPRM

    I may have tweeted my last tweet, as no one pays attention to me I’ll have now way to know if I’m shadowbanned.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      What, is someone supposed to hide in a shadow, shouting “You’re banned, dude!”?

      1. CPRM

        That would be cool, and totally what the Greeks would have done.

      1. CPRM

        Trump used to chant White Powder! Maybe someone with bad hearing has lead to this whole ‘Trump is racist’ thing.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Does this mean that you’ll be adding white dust to the H&H casts’ faces?

          1. CPRM

            That would be like work and stuff! Bernie is gonna make sure I don’t have to do that shit.

          2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Ah! I see you have an angle. Good, good…

        2. Tejicano

          When I joined the Marines I was into muzzle-loading guns. One day one of the “dark green” Marines in my platoon freaked out when he saw the “Black Powder Handbook” in my wall locker.

      2. Chafed

        I miss Chappelle’s show.

        1. CPRM

          ‘Mmmhhhmm, Jewy!’

        2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          NOOOO!!! Not Pop ‘n’ Fresh!!!

    1. CPRM

      Can they both just go away?

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Maybe, but, I find life more entertaining with their current iterations. Well, considering that it looks like Michael may do some time (fingers crossed).

  21. CPRM

    Can I just point out that ‘PC’ news sources are reciting the Iranian government’s taunt that the ”White House is Afflicted By Mental Retardation” and not going nuts over that? (well now it does look like some have PC’d up the headlines to ‘mentally handicapped’, it was good while it lasted)

    1. Chafed

      Earlier today I was hearing the exact quote. It seemed odd no one was criticizing the Iranian government for their un-PC language.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Maybe they were too busy getting the cash into the briefcases….

  22. Chafed

    BBC America is showing Total Recall. Lots of action, mediocre acting by the star, a 3 breasted woman, and all wrapped in sci-fi. I miss films like this. *sigh*

    1. CPRM

      a 3 breasted woman

      That’s how I know you’re not watching the remake, as that was cut from the remake to make room for Collin Farrell’s unibrow.

      1. Chafed

        Remaking that movie was sacrilege. Fuck everyone involved with a rusty chainsaw. I wouldn’t watch it for free.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Tell us how you really feel, Chafed. Don’t hold back, now.

          /Let the hate flow through you. Be sure to flush after, though.

        2. Tejicano

          Once again I am thankful that my existence on this side of the Pacific had shielded me from any knowledge about this remake up to now. It makes all the torture I went through to learn this language well worth it to know that I have a choice to be somewhere safe from the decline of the country/culture of my birth.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            But, but–It has Bryan Cranston in it! He’s the Ronny Cox of the Aughts!

          2. Chafed

            I’m starting to think you watched the remake. *Eyes SDPBUH suspiciously *

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Of course, I did. Biel, Cranston…you do the math.

          4. Chafed

            *Kisses SDPBUH on both cheeks. Signals to henchmen *

      2. Rhywun

        I refuse to accept the notion that a remake of such a classic exists.

        1. CPRM

          That’s how some olde fogies felt when ‘Scarface‘ was remade…(not saying the Total Recall remake was good, just that…wait I don’t like either version of Scarface, fuck this comparison…)

          1. Tejicano

            Huh? They remade Scarface too?

          2. CPRM

            Yeah, by some whippersnapper named Brian DePalma.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            With stunning dialogue written by Oliver Stone.

        2. Chafed

          One more reason I like you.

    2. straffinrun

      There’s a BBC America? State sponsored meddling in muh democracy.

      1. CPRM

        Only when RT does it, but only after leftwing folks had been parading about there for almost a decade, THEN IT TURNED!!!

    3. Chafed

      Two more observations: Sharon Stone was hot as hell and Arnold is told to swallow the red pill. Is it coincidental The Matrix did the same thing or was it an homage?

      1. CPRM

        Both homage to Alice in Wonderland, or maybe just to <a href="https://youtu.be/HWxMj6IQbJc&quot; title="Jefferson Starship Airplane.” target=”_blank” >Jefferson Starship Airplane If the writers were not sharp.

          1. Chafed

            Doesn’t the red pill make you small per Grace Slick? It reveals the truth in the Matrix and supposedly would have done the same thing in Total Recall (though it was a lie.)

      2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Has Sharon bashed Arnold for groping her, or, anything? She seems the type, and, yep, she was hot as hell then.

        /glad they didn’t do the nose-probe thing in Matrix

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)
    2. CPRM

      The Vulcan nips weren’t enough for you?!

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        There’s that word: “enough”. It can be…problematic.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Doesn’t that have something to do with muons?

          2. whiz

            No, you’re probably thinking of gluons, but they don’t have anything to do with muons either.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            I make joke.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        ::I just gotta…::

        That searing, burning itch and discharge that makes disrobing a hassle.

        I mean, yeah-still wood,

  23. straffinrun

    Just here to tell y’all you’re going to love tomorrow.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      *Presumes facts not in evidence.

      I have to go to the DMV in about 9 hours or so. So, you better have some really terrific news.

      1. straffinrun

        The DMV gets privatized while you’re asleep.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Oh…dude, remember–I sleep during the day. If the pics on the google-box are any indication, the private sector is really fucking things up. So, don’t let on to the commies.

        2. Chafed

          My dream is coming true.

    1. Chafed

      I’d buy that for a dollar.

      1. CPRM

        I’m not quite sure what that show was in Robocop, but this imagery falls in line. Something something bunk, no eye contact…

      2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Yeah, no.

      3. Tejicano

        I’m gonna skip movie references and state that those are not the droids I am looking for.

    2. Rhywun

      DA at 31? That seems legit.

      Yay queer latinxs, I guess.

      1. Chafed

        I have no doubt her predecessors were products of the local Democratic machine. But what exactly is she going to do differently that won’t signal it’s fine to commit crimes?

        1. Rhywun

          No idea. Looks like there’s a new machine in town, though. The old one was pretty “tough on crime” FWIW. The new one seems to have a good idea or two, along with a bad idea or three.

          Time will tell, I suppose. Too bad we’ll have to wade through a thousand articles first about how queer and how latinx she is before we get down to actual policy.

          1. Chafed

            Watch the crime stats. If they go up the Post will blast her.

        2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Go after business people? I mean, I think that’ll play to the local base fairly well. Go after the “rich”, who, as we all know, are just greedy and keeping regular people desperate enough to “commit crimes”.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Even in Canada, I think she’s gonna end up getting her ass kicked in jail.

      1. Chafed

        More like they won’t give her maple syrup.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          I dunno, that one fruity, abortion-loving guy had a mean roundhouse kick.

          /Chafed, do you know how difficult it was to compose that sentence without laughing myself into a coma?

          1. Chafed

            Who is that guy?

          2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Kicked a pro-life ‘activist’ (not sure that is totally accurate term for her) who was recording pro-abortion protesters. His comrades didn’t like it, and he did one of THE weakest roundhouse/crescent kicks known, yet still hurt her and damaged her camera.

            He’s a hair stylist, who got fired after this made the news, and he got 8 months probation.

            In Canada.

          3. Chafed

            I wonder if one of his probation terms was no Tim Hortons. Sure it’s harsh medicine but he has to be punished.

          4. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Maybe he’ll have to let his hair go without coloring. That guy is gonna conniption when the gray is ‘untouched’.

  24. CPRM

    I choose to end the night the way I began it, sort of; ‘San Dimas Highscool Football Rules!’

  25. PieInTheSky

    Man life on the road is not for me… Hope it goes well… Also the proper term is lady of negotiable affection

    Good morning glibs

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Also the proper term is lady of negotiable affection

      ::raises eyebrow::

      I see you are wise in the ways of linguistics. And, whores.

      Good morning.

      1. KSuellington

        Hmmm…LONA. That sounds like it works.

        You have mastered the language, Pie. It is your bitch.

  26. Tejicano

    I definitely love road trips – but living out of hotels/motels for extended periods? Not so much.

    When I was in MOS school the Army put me up in a hotel with per-diem for a month. I bought a George Foreman personal-sized grill and stuffed the tiny fridge with food-stuffs from the commissary. Breakfast and dinner were cooked in the room not because I’m cheap but because I hate the amount of time wasted driving around to the restaurant, finding parking, waiting – to be seated, order, be served, for the bill, payment – then driving back to the room. I was saving 90 minutes a day by cooking my own.

  27. KSuellington

    Right on Yusef. I’m sorry you have to do the motel thing right now. You will find your home I’m sure. A batalha do cotidiano the Brazilians say. The battle of the day to day.

    1. Rhywun

      holding healthy political discussions at Google is an awesome part about working here

      I think I’ve spotted the problem.

      1. Chafed

        The old adage to never discuss politics or religion is very wise.

    2. Rhywun

      All I’m getting from this is that Google employs a lot of assholes.

      I’ve never seen anything like this stuff in my career.

      1. Chafed

        Genuine question: do they have more assholes or does their management style encourage their assholeness thereby making the assholes more visible?

        1. Tejicano

          A couple decades ago I worked with an intern who was in his third year in a STEM degree. He came back and worked with us a year or so after graduation before going to Harvard Biz school for his MBA. Currently he is one of the higher-ups in Google.

          I can confirm this one is an asshole.

    3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Looks like Google has shit-heads all over the place. Whiny bitches gonna whine.

  28. Chafed

    Ever try to start “the wave” at a ballgame but no one else joins in? It’s like this.

    https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/06/25/candidate-who-campaigned-with-bill-clinton-says-she-believes-e-jean-carroll/

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Unfortunately, some will join in. Hopefully, we get to laugh at all of them when it’s said and done.

      1. Chafed

        This accuser is a nut. I’m confident there are many laughs to come.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Oh, she’s a whack-a-doodle. Even the SJW’s are looking at her knowing Trump wouldn’t touch her with Ivanka’s dick.

  29. Chafed

    This douche is my congressman. I can’t wait to hear his wife’s testimony.

    https://www.dailycaller.com/2019/06/25/duncan-hunter-five-affairs/

    1. hayeksplosives

      Yeah, mine too, blurgh. Better than a libtard

  30. Chafed

    I’ve got to get some sleep. Here’s my favorite summer song. Keep you warm like a funeral pyre, indeed.

    https://www.iheart.com/artist/danzig-87789/songs/dirty-black-summer-18956967/?cmp=android_share&sc=android_social_share&pr=false

  31. hayeksplosives

    Dude , we love you!! Can I help? I’m in SoCal

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      How’s trix?? Busy on the blow-em-up part?