Saturday Morning Boring Links

 

Yes, SP and I had pizza last night. And Mom joined in but likely doesn’t remember. That makes me feel a little bit better about following some actually interesting things with something boring, which, let’s face it, the news always is. Even when I can find weird and creepy shit. You’ll see.

Birthdays. Yawwwwwn.  Oh, here’s some: a boring and incompetent goddam president; a guy whose dick routinely needed oiling; a guy who really did transform music; a guy who was one i short of exclusion; the inspiration for Farmer Vincent; the guy who cursed Cleveland; and a guy who could once sing but now can’t, dammit.

On to the news!

 

“Because WE never do that. It would be unseemly and unfair!”

 

California 2019, just like Selma 1962.

 

I’ll bet she got better severance than I did.

 

Great name, great story, now we wait for the letdown.

 

In other football news, Philly fans tell Oakland, “Hold mah cheesesteak!”

 

Pro tip: time your murder better.

 

Old Guy Music celebrates a birthday boy with one of his delightful songs from when he could still sing. And with Martin Barre sitting in on flute. I love this album, and this song should be better known.

Comments

380 responses to “Saturday Morning Boring Links”

  1. “Because WE never do that. It would be unseemly and unfair!”

    And there’s “seized” again!

    1. DinosaurNeil

      Has anybody pounced yet? I can’t wait until someone pounces.

  2. California 2019, just like Selma 1962.

    Relevant

    1. juris imprudent

      Wondering if Sen. Harris is going to comment on that?

    2. Rhywun

      I could barely make it through the tedious hyperventilating in that article but I couldn’t help but notice that the school they accuse of having too many wypipo is a charter.

      1. R C Dean

        Forced integration of a charter school and a government school. I don’t think I’vet heard of that before.

  3. Great name, great story, now we wait for the letdown.

    Sheehy-Guiseppi? A black Irish-Italian? Bet he’s one of (((them))) too.

    1. Festus

      The word that you’re looking for is “Sheenie”. “Sheenie” is the correct answer. Moving on…

  4. Festus

    OMWC hits both of the jugulars with a great tune from my favorite Tull album and the realization that I abandoned my own Mother when she was most in need.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Yahweh help me, I can still creak my way through just about all the songs on this album on flute and guitar.

      1. Festus

        That is fucking AWESOME! Can I be your orphan?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Let’s see how well you can polish my monocle.

          For Old Guy Music, I’ve posted some songs by LJ Slavin. It’s a pity that he hasn’t put out an album of his Tull covers- he does an awesome rendition of Bouree. And last time we saw him, he did a solo 20 minute capsule of Thick As A Brick. Chicago-area Glibs should seek out his shows, the guy is awesome, and an incredibly nice guy as well.

          1. Festus

            I don’t polish monocles (that’s above my pay grade) but I am a fair and willing miner with above average janitorial skills. All kidding aside, I need to look that dude up on youtube.

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The money shot

    Collins and Cain had only been married for one week before his death. The Augusta Chronicle reported that Collins had been made the beneficiary of Cain’s insurance less than a month before he was killed.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Should’ve waited at least six months…she got greedy.

    2. Did she get twice the payout if he fell off a train?

    3. egould310

      Ripped off from an episode of “Columbo”.

      1. James M. Cain has a sad. (As does Billy Wilder.)

        1. egould310

          I always like the part of the film where Fred McMurray first meets Barbara Stanwyck, and literally the first thing out of his mouth is, “That’s a honey of an ankle bracelet you have on.”

          Jeesh guy. Foot fetish much? Of course, it signaled to Stanwyck that this guy was down for whatever. Even murder.

          1. Count Potato

            I thought it was to signal the audience she was a bad girl.

      2. Festus

        “There’s just one more thing…”

  6. Gender Traitor

    After a trying week at Chez GT – nothing at recent OMWC/SP/WD/WD’s SO level, but trying nonetheless – we, too, indulged in pizza for the first time in…months??? Good old decadent Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites FTW.

    1. Festus

      We had Dominos pick-up and it wasn’t half-bad.

    1. Tulip

      I’m disappointed there’s no pineapple

      1. DOOMco

        Right?
        I don’t even want to go to their gansta pizza party now

    2. Festus

      Hey Doom! Great news about the approaching birth of the Doom-lette! We need more Gliblets in this world.

      1. DOOMco

        Thanks! We’re working on names now.
        Everything looks great so far though, so thats been good to hear.

        1. MikeS

          Michael

  7. Sean

    https://6abc.com/community-events/american-cornhole-league-world-championships/5450394/

    I know where STEVE SMITH is…

    *sigh*

    They used to have gun shows there.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: It Was The Weapon That Done Did It (Bonus Judas Metaphor)

    Once again there is a massacre in America. This time in Texas. This time the Right will claim the time isn’t proper to discuss weapons safety in America, as Republican politicians once again line up to get their bags containing 20 pieces of gold. Again, the NRA will tell us that it wasn’t the weapon that did the killing. If not now, when do we address weapon’s safety?

    1. Festus

      Heh. Couldn’t even get the references right. It’s like debating with a screaming toddler that just now shat their pants.

    2. Well they asked the weapon and it said it was somewhere else at the time, so I don’t know what else you want them to do.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I heard the gun invoked its 5th Amendment Rights under Citizens United,

        1. Aww, it thinks it’s people!

      2. I actually used “the gun was released on its own recognizance” in a comment of a local newspaper story where a local school cop (don’t call them “resource officers”) negligently shot his gun and the paper used the weasel language of the gun magically discharging all by itself.

        1. A “resource officer” is the person who sets up the projector. “School cop” is the appropriate and accurate term.

          1. Festus

            Acktually a “resource officer” is the 24 year-old that makes 13 year-old’s dreams come true. I read it in the Post, so it must be so!

          2. Lackadaisical

            I thought that was the hotwife teachers.

    3. Weapon’s what safety?

      1. DinosaurNeil

        I’m sure it does have a safety.

      2. [The] weapon’s safety.

        Duh.

    4. Lackadaisical

      Don’t most guns except maybe muskets come with safeties already?

      1. Lackadaisical

        I guess I should have figured you autists would have beat me to it.

      2. Well *pushes glassed higher on nose* the real safety is between your ears.

        1. Festus

          Heh.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    White House officials had been signaling such a move for days, saying the President would prefer to have a political loyalist in the acting role until a permanent nominee is selected.
    While Trump has said in recent days that he liked Gordon personally, officials said that he believed she was too closely tied to individuals in the intelligence world, such as former CIA Director John Brennan and even Coats himself, a theory some advisers pushed.

    The executive in charge wants a department head who will faithfully implement his policies? Is there no end to the perfidy of the man?

    1. Chafed

      I don’t think it’s quite that simple. She would have been acting director while Trump picked a replacement. He couldn’t take not having a political loyalist on the job even for a limited period of time. That says far more about him than her.

      1. R C Dean

        She’s a swamper and can’t be trusted. A day as acting whatever is too long for somebody who can’t be trusted.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Gordon’s abrupt departure, with only one week’s notice, and Trump’s longstanding hostility toward the intelligence community — which he has publicly derided, likened to Nazis and disagreed with — is likely to heighten concerns that the President may be trying to politicize agencies that are meant to stand apart from partisanship or politicking.

    Tell me, Shirley, did it ever occur to you he might be trying to DE-politicize the agency?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When the Democrats are directly calling for the intelligence agencies to rise up and unseat a President, it’s a bit galling to listen to people claiming Trump is politicizing them.

      1. Festus

        It’s gonna be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere when the Dems regain power. I might be dead by then, God willing.

    2. Gender Traitor

      concerns that the President may be trying to politicize agencies” in the wrong direction.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    “Maguire’s deep military background and work at NCTC means that he brings to the job a welcome understanding of IC capabilities and experience with current policy and IC leadership. However, his assignment to the acting position means that NCTC is deprived of his leadership at a time when the policy community is grappling with the issue of domestic terrorism,” a former senior intelligence official said.

    Trump is clearing away all obstacles to the Brown Shirt coup!

    1. leon

      “NCTC is deprived of his leadership at a time when the policy community is grappling with the issue of domestic terrorism,””

      Well it’s a good thing the military doesn’t do anything with domestic terrorism.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Then I Guess You Won’t Mind Paying For Me Too

    I agree with the person who wrote in to say they were surprised at those making a big deal of paying $7 a month to recycle. My guess is these people are the same ones who complain about anything that doesn’t benefit themselves directly. If it is $7 or $10 or $15 a month to protect the future of our planet, it is well worth it.

    1. Festus

      Fuck off Slaver! They’re gonna start tracking trash bins in my town to ensure that every bit of refuse goes to the proper place. The landfill. We’ve got tons of garbage that gets dumped out in the bush because the City started charging people to dump their own garbage. Someone is floating the idea of a plastics plant here that would employ 1000 people and the Council voted unanimously to ban plastic bags. Clown fucking world.

    2. I’m sorry, paying to recycle? Captain Planet doesn’t take your old microwave lasagna tray and make it into a fuckin’ rainbow, genius. The idea is that someone somewhere buys the plastic or metal or glass because it’s cheaper than buying it new and then makes something with it to, you know, sell for a profit. If that’s no longer profitable, they don’t buy it, and now you’ve got piles of plastic pellets or whatever sitting around that nobody wants, which means that the company who makes money melting your old shampoo bottles down doesn’t want them any more, which means they go into the same heap of garbage as that week-old bag of tangerines you bought because you wanted to eat more fruit. Recycling isn’t magic, and it only makes sense if the shit you’re recycling is actually worth money.

    3. Gender Traitor

      If it is $7 or $10 or $15 a month to protect the future of our planet, it is well worth it.

      The single parents I work with, barely scraping to get by, say “Check your privilege.”

      1. Lackadaisical

        ^this.

        “Hey, I got mine”

        Scum.

    4. DinosaurNeil

      What if it isn’t protecting the future of our planet, but simply providing make-work jobs for some hack politician to publicly pat himself on the back for. Is it still worth $15 a month?

      1. Lackadaisical

        As long as the letter writer can virtue signal about it he’s willing to make you pay any price.

  13. Dude, Philly. FFS. A good friend of mine had a FIL who had season tickets for the Redskins and would take him to games pretty regularly. He went to a Redskins – Eagles game, and he told me it was absolutely insane. Like the stereotypes don’t quite cover it. A horde of dumb, half-literate mooks and their tacky harridans shitfaced before they even get into the stadium, picking fights with everyone they can see. Like if you had the cure for cancer, and then you saw Philly fans, you’d hide it just in case it would help even one of them live a day longer.

    Also, and maybe this is my inner shitlord talking, in my remote mountain kingdom it will be illegal for wives and girlfriends to talk shit unless they’re physically involved in the fight. The penalty will be that the target gets three free hits.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      I’ve been to games at maybe 10 or 11 stadiums. Philly was by far the worst experience ever.

      I don’t blame the alcohol- when SP and I went to Lambeau, everyone was drinking more heavily than you can imagine and it was wonderful- I blame Philadelphians.

      1. This same dude went to a Ravens game, and, reputations notwithstanding, he said that despite the beer and the fact that he was wearing a Sean Taylor jersey in a sea of purple he got some good-natured shit-talking and that was it. He went to a Packers game–these are all at Landover, mind you–and he said that people weren’t even talking any trash, they were all hammered and as sweet as they could be, like sheepish shrugs when their team scored type of thing. I fully believe there’s something mentally wrong with Philly fans.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Well, it is where my in-laws are from.

          *cries into coffee*

          1. Chafed

            My condolences.

        2. The Last American Hero

          Dude, it’s Philly. Baltimore has that tasty blue crab, Green Bay has all that yummy cheese. Philly doesn’t have any of those things. They got the Eagles. Antd that’s it.

          1. Gender Traitor

            I hear they have a nice cream cheese.

          2. There was a Anthony Bourdain travel show other than No Reservations where he goes to Philadelphia, and of course the cheesesteak comes up. One guy on camera says something like, “The cheesesteak thing is so stupid. It’s like we get all excited because we figured out how to put meat and cheese in a roll.”

  14. The Late P Brooks

    When reporting on the gaffe during a Thursday morning segment that aired on “Today,” Mitchell began by noting that Biden gave a “widely-praised speech” at the Iowa State Fair hours before his controversial remarks and how the Trump campaign is “seizing on a few words.”

    “Everybody I had dinner with last night thought it was a great speech.”

  15. straffinrun

    “We have this notion that somehow if you’re poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.”

    Who’s this “We”, Joe? You think that. Not me.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I wish he had said “as talented as Asian kids”, that would have been awesome.

    2. Gender Traitor

      Never change, Joe.

    3. I keep hearing about this white privilege shit and I swear to God, I wish somebody had told me about it. It’s like I just found out that some hot girl I went to middle school had a huge crush on me and would’ve like tattooed my name on her boobs if I’d told her I liked her. For real, I been po, and I’m white, so if there’s some number I’m supposed to call or something I’d like to damn well know.

      1. straffinrun

        Her father would have a few questions for you.

        1. I mean, by my freshman year of high school I’d already hidden in a few closets and jumped out of a couple of bedroom windows, so my father-related survival skills were pretty well honed.

          1. Festus

            Greetings, fellow traveler! Well-met!

      2. The Last American Hero

        I’m pretty sure you just enroll on the website to get your starter package. The URL is on the bottom left of the Koch Bros. check you get each week.

  16. straffinrun

    This is begging for a little editing. Make it a MAGA hat and Joe getting slapped.

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    Re the Eagles: Why do these videos have to come with a screeching woman in the background?

    1. straffinrun

      Most of the fights I’ve seen were caused by the screeching woman.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        If I became Muppet Emperor there would be a rule. If you screech and start a fight you’re fair game. You want equality, you got it!

        /shakes furiously like a muppet. Followed by Animal grin.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    For no reason other than it amuses me

    https://i.imgur.com/ozeCfDi.gifv

    1. At first it was the pig just mindin’ his own business, but then it became the kid flicking her off. There’s a hell of a lot of funny in that clip.

      1. egould310

        Smashing the beer on her head and faceplanting on the roof.

        1. There’s so much more I want to know about that whole situation.

          1. egould310

            I think the plan was to ollie off the roof. Sounds like a couple of sprained ankles to me. Maybe a broken femur.

            And I’m pretty sure she’s in her lingerie.

            Fascinating.

          2. Festus

            *raises one Spock eyebrow*

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Like…. why was there a skateboard on the roof?

          4. Or…when was the precise moment she thought, “This is a good idea and I’m going to do it.”?

          5. Brett L

            I’m assuming about beer 8-12 depending on her tolerance

          6. *thinks back to playing the “Is this bare wire still hot?” game with friends

            Yeah, that checks out.

    1. Count Potato

      That must have been some fart.

  19. Old Man With Candy

    Late breaking news. Probably shot himself four times in the back of the head.

    1. straffinrun

      Thoughts and prayers.

    2. Has anyone questioned local firearms to find out where they were at the time? You can never trust those things.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m so shocked.

    4. Bob Boberson

      But when did the drugs fall out his ass?

      1. Bob Boberson

        Sorry couldn’t resist. I’ve no doubt there are a lot of people in high places quite pleased with this result. So the end of this tale, like every other potential opportunity to show how vile our ruling class really is, will be;

        “And nothing else happened”

    5. Tres Cool

      He was on suicide watch, yet managed to kill himself.
      I wonder how much they got paid.

      1. I’ve set a timer to see how long it takes before this is Trump’s fault.

        But seriously, I’m not a prison guard, but my impression is that a person on a suicide watch has to be pretty damn inventive to kill themselves. You’re in a facility designed to keep people controlled and monitored 24/7. He’s a very high-profile person, I’m sure he wasn’t with the general population, and they obviously suspected he would try to kill himself. The report says he hanged himself in his cell, so presumably with sheets or his clothes, and died by strangulation. I have a hard time believing that at a minimum there wasn’t extreme negligence involved if not, dare I say it, foul play.

        1. Did you read the replies?

      2. Grumbletarian

        “Oh. we were trying to prevent suicide?”

        1. straffinrun

          Literally suicide watch.

    6. Whoops – I accidentally stabbed myself 15 times in the heart while shaving. Butterfingers!

    7. Rhywun

      Great suicide watch you’ve got going on there, Lou.

    8. Tulip

      Who’s surprised?

      1. Florida Man

        The fact that many here predicted this, shows the level of contempt that our betters have for us.

        1. straffinrun

          Not just here. It was all over the internet. AND they still let him/offed him.

    9. creech

      Now we need to keep track of mysterious deaths that will occur among his prison guards, their superiors, lawyers holding all his documents, etc.

    10. Sean

      So, does this increase his accuser’s credibility? Which, I thought I read, was a bit in question.

    11. leon

      I bet that labor secretary former prosecutor who resigned for giving him a sweetheart deal feels like a shmuck.

      1. Festus

        Prince Andrew in the prison shower with a florescent butt-plug?

        1. Grumbletarian

          Worst game of Clue ever.

    12. leon

      I guess the fact that the media hyped up his involvement with Trump means everyone will think Trump is behind this. ( As is seen in the replies)

    13. Not Adahn

      I am amazed (though I shouldn’t be) about how many of the twits there are saying it wuz Trump and Dersh wot dun it.

    14. Festus

      Honk Honk

      1. leon

        Can someone explain this meme?

        1. Festus

          Fucking clown world, dude.

    15. Crusty Juggler

      You’d think this would help shine a light on how disgusting that prison is, but…hey…Clinton jokes and a legit awful person got to take the easy way out.

    16. R C Dean

      Here’s the deal:

      It should be impossible to hang yourself on suicide watch. We have a psych unit where it is literally impossible to hang yourself. We could give every patient a rope and they couldn’t hang the sleeves, because there is nothing to hang from, nothing that a rope or whatever can be tied to or looped over. It’s not hard, just design and fixtures so that it simply can’t be done. It’s actually kind of fascinating.

      So, NY is criminally negligent in not having hanging-proof cells, or the guards murdered him. Or both, I suppose.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Apparently “suicide watch” at that prison is done by follow inmates who take inmate companion training. That place is a well-known clusterfuck.

        1. I can’t tell if you’re being serious, because that sounds unbelievable, which itself makes me think it might be true.

      2. Chafed

        This.

    17. AlmightyJB

      We know Bill had an airtight alibi.

    18. DOOMco

      Nothing to see here

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Welcome to the manosphere- Gateway to Hate

    In all these strands of replacement theory, controlling white female sexuality and reproduction is vital. Women’s sexual and reproductive freedom are seen as threats to civilization itself. It is therefore not surprising that anti-feminism is an entry point to the online far right. “Misogyny is used predominantly as the first outreach mechanism,” Ashley Mattheis, a researcher at the University of North Carolina who studies the far right online, told me. “You were owed something, or your life should have been X, but because of the ridiculous things feminists are doing, you can’t access them.”

    One recruiting ground is the collection of sites known as the “manosphere,” which the British anti-extremism charity Hope not Hate considered a serious enough force to include in its most recent “State of Hate” report. “It’s a very difficult movement to get to grips with,” says the Hope not Hate researcher Simon Murdoch. “It’s a very loose movement. And because it’s online, people are usually anonymous.”

    The manosphere stretches from the kind of lukewarm anti-feminism that would pass virtually unremarked in a newspaper column through to glorifications of extreme misogyny. Although the manosphere’s leading figures have appeared at far-right events, and vice versa, the links between the two are more about an exchange of ideas than shared personnel.

    As young men are drawn deeper into these online communities, the anti-feminist message transforms into one with racial overtones, Mattheis said. “Once you engage with the idea that a social-justice-warrior club and the feminist movement have increased the precarity of men,” she said, “that moves over time into the increased precarity and endangerment of ‘the West.’”

    One day, you’re bitching about Title IX, the next say, you’re invading Poland.

    1. Lemme see if I’ve got this: if I disagree with social justice Progressive talking points, I’m a neo-Nazi. Is that about right? So, “the concept of white privilege is itself deeply racist” is the same thing as “kill the mud people to protect the pure white race”? Cool, I’m sure this will lead to much productive discussion and not crazy people shooting up public spaces.

      1. Count Potato

        Then it’s a good thing June is such a lousy shot.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5ivbqib3qM

      2. AlmightyJB

        Your either super woke or you’re Hitler. There’s no in between.

    2. Grumbletarian

      One recruiting ground is the collection of sites known as the “manosphere,” which the British anti-extremism charity Hope not Hate considered a serious enough force to include in its most recent “State of Hate” report. “It’s a very difficult movement to get to grips with,” says the Hope not Hate researcher Simon Murdoch. “It’s a very loose movement. And because it’s online, people are usually anonymous.”

      Manarchy!

    3. egould310

      “It’s a very difficult movement to get to grips with,”

      Because it’s not an actual thing. It’s a fever dream.

    4. You were owed something, or your life should have been X, but because of the ridiculous things feminists white males are doing, you can’t access them.

      Progject much?

      1. leon

        Power Strictures! Institutions! Patriarchy!!!

    5. ttyrant

      Somewhat related — I was heading to Kinko’s yesterday and saw that a local St. Paul business (on the corner of Selby and Snelling, for you Minnesota glibs) had its sign “vandalized”(*) — the name of its business had “Kill the Patriarchy” spray-painted over it in bright red.

      (*)Scare quotes because I’m not 100% sure if it’s vandalization or something the owners perhaps had a hand in. I couldn’t find any sort of news story about it.

      1. l0b0t

        Kinkos is still around? Cool.

        1. ttyrant

          Eh, they’re branded as FedEx these days.

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    Re the Democrat who killed her husband.

    It’s crazy what Trump makes people do.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    After yet more mass shootings, the picture feels bleak. But there is some small consolation: the researchers I spoke with said that the links between anti-feminism and the far right are now being taken seriously. Understanding these links should help us tackle extremism. When I first started writing about sexist online abuse and anti-feminist memes in 2013, there was a widespread perception that these were purely internet-based phenomena, and therefore not serious issues. That view has receded as prominent women have been harassed offline through attacks coordinated and glorified online.

    It is also now apparent that the memes and ideas spread by anti-feminists and other extremist groups have worked their way into mainstream politics. In 2017, Robert Fisher, a Republican state lawmaker in New Hampshire, resigned after the Daily Beast reported that he had left offensive comments on an anti-feminist Reddit forum called “The Red Pill.” A username linked to him had attacked women’s personalities as “lackluster and boring, serving little purpose in day to day life” and advised men to record their sexual encounters to avoid false rape allegations.

    Mattheis, who studied the Republican debates during the 2016 presidential election, saw similar “false rape” narratives gaining purchase there. Early in his campaign, Trump framed the need for immigration around the specter of Mexican rapists. These incidents were a somber reminder that what starts in the manosphere now has real political power. Mattheis’s research interests, which were once dismissed as a fringe preoccupation, are seen as more and more legitimate. Gender has always been a factor in mass shootings. Finally, now, we are beginning to ask why.

    Bias confirmed. It must be true.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      the links between anti-feminism and the far right are now being taken seriously

      There can be no criticism of your new female overlords.

    2. The “manosphere”. But she’s not the crazy bigot.

      1. Bob Boberson

        I’ve been seeing more and more articles talking about the coming civil war since the latest round of mass shootings. With the left doing their best to put anybody to the right of center in the same bucket with mass murderers and Nazi’s and using language that ideologies must be expunged, I’m starting to see it as a more real possibility.

          1. I don’t care what anyone says, he’s *my* President.

          2. Bob Boberson

            Our Emperor in exile

          3. Florida Man

            I take umbrage that he called Florida a blue state. If it was for 2 counties stuffing ballot boxes, FL would be as red as any other state in the south

          4. leon

            “FL would be as red as any other state in the south”

            Florida is not a southern state.

          5. Count Potato

            It’s more southern the farther north you go.

          6. l0b0t

            IIRC, Tallahassee was the only Confederate capitol East of the Mississippi River that the Damn Blue-bellies were unable to capture. The US troops were held off by cadets from what became FSU at the Battle of Natural Bridge… then the war ended.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Step1. Link someone to the alt right.
      Step2. Ban ‘em.

    4. Count Potato

      “the specter of Mexican rapists”

      It’s more than a specter when rape trees are a real thing.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault_of_migrants_from_Latin_America_to_the_United_States

    5. Rebel Scum

      should help us tackle extremism

      ‘Extreme’ is a relative term.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s not bicker about ‘oo sex-trafficked ‘oo. Best to just bury the past. We’ll put it in the hole with Epstein.

    Let’s move on, shall we. No sense dwelling on it. Let it all go.

    1. Jeffrey who? Wasn’t he some pedophile who was friends with Trump or something?

      1. Bob Boberson

        That’s probably the best summation of the media’s coverage of Epstein I’ve seen

        1. Urthona

          Except for that brief moment when they hopefully thought Trump might be an Epstein client.

      2. Hyperion

        “Wasn’t he some pedophile who was friends with Trump or something?”

        Friends with Clinton, that’s the part that I immediately thought of. Suicide, yeah? OK?

    2. Sean

      “We’ll put it in the hole with Epstein.”

      Phrasing?

  24. Fourscore

    ” guy who could once sing but now can’t, dammit.”

    Sure, but Willie’s getting a little older but usually gets a couple songs in before he has to leave the stage. I can totally understand but even icons have to admit there’s a time for planting and a time for harvesting and then time to sit back and enjoy the grandchildren.

    1. Florida Man

      Glen Campbell never quit! Mostly because his wife wouldn’t let him…

      1. Hyperion

        “Mostly because his wife wouldn’t let him…”

        Is that why his voice was so high?

    2. Old Man With Candy

      I went to see JT last year and it was… depressing.

  25. Stinky Wizzleteats

    So Epstein’s dead…cue the conspiracy theories. That being said, it’s as suspicious as hell.

    1. PieInTheSky

      i mean it is almost hard not to suspect foul play

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        No shit: yesterday a list of people his testimony could put away forever comes out, today he’s dead despite being (I assume) on suicide watch.

    2. robc

      Who leaves hanging materials in his cell? It is super suspicious.

      1. Urthona

        Especially when he’s already on suicide watch and yesterday the names of prominent people started to come out.

    3. Sean

      LOL, my girlfriend just commented on how people with dirt on the Clinton’s keep ending up dead. ?

      1. Urthona

        Two prominent Democrats were named yesterday as well as — most hilariously to me — British royalty.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Does this go into the Clinton Body count?

      1. robc

        absolutely.

  26. PieInTheSky

    So last year there was a big protest in Bucharest on 10th of august, and there was some police brutality involved. Today another protest is organized on the same date as last year. User quiz. Should Pie go and start a riot?

    1. egould310

      Wild In The Streets! https://youtu.be/PHRIvssIfHo

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Pie should go and pick off a few of the comelier female protesters. They have energy and need an outlet.

    3. egould310

      Don’t have a Race Riot, though.

      https://youtu.be/CkB–2dUuuE

      1. egould310

        Bad Brains—Riot Squad

        https://youtu.be/OC0NCHq4v3I

      1. egould310

        Good one.

        All aboard the Riot Train! https://youtu.be/FOu4xeTsuVw

  27. RAHeinlein

    EPA will no longer approve glyphosate labels with cancer warning – flipping the bird to California!

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Do they get their $8B settlement offer back?

  28. The Late P Brooks

    You can’t yell “Open fire!” in a crowded Walmart

    A man who sparked panic by walking into a Walmart with a rifle and body armour told police he was testing his right to bear arms in public.

    Dmitriy Andreychenko entered the shop heavily armed, days after a mass shooting at another of Walmart’s stores.

    “I wanted to know if that Walmart honoured the second amendment,” the 20-year-old told police after his arrest.

    Prosecutors have charged him with making a terrorist threat.

    ——

    The store manager “believed Andreychenko came to the store to shoot people”, the police statement said, and triggered the fire alarm to evacuate customers.

    Mr Andreychenko was held at gunpoint by an off-duty fire fighter, who was legally carrying his own weapon, until police arrested him.

    Prosecutor Dan Patterson said that while residents of Springfield, Missouri, were allowed to carry weapons, “that right does not allow an individual to act in a reckless and criminal manner endangering other citizens.”

    That man interfered with other people’s right to be free from hysterical overreaction.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Overreaction maybe but the guy’s definitely a dumbass.

    2. leon

      While I think the guy is a moron, I do like the twists they have to make to ignore the fact that it was another person with a firearm who detained him.

      Also if we locked up every moron….

    3. Rebel Scum

      charged him with making a terrorist threat

      I don’t see the part where he made a threat.

      “that right does not allow an individual to act in a reckless and criminal manner endangering other citizens.”

      Walking with it shouldered? Or am i missing something?

    4. Gustave Lytton

      told police after his arrest.

      Prosecutors have charged him with making a terrorist threat.

      Yet the guy walking into Walmart saying he wants a gun to kill large numbers of people was let go at the scene without even a psych evaluation.

      1. DrOtto

        Guns kill people, not people, duh.

    5. Sigh.

      So this is one of those…things. Yes, he has a right to carry a firearm in public. And yes, maybe the real problem is that people freak out when they see someone just having a gun because our culture isn’t, despite what some might think, a “gun culture”. And yes, maybe the way you change that is, like with anything else, exposing people to it and letting them see that there are no negative consequences.

      But.

      Part of being a responsible gun owner is not using guns as props. Walking into a Starbucks with a rifle slung over your shoulder to buy a latte, as an example, is the gun rights equivalent of the guy at the gay pride parade in a Speedo and rollerskates. This is not how you convince people who are nervous or uncomfortable or suspicious that you’re not a threat.

      As an aside, this is also why I’m a huge proponent of concealed carry.

      1. Urthona

        Yeah that dudes just an idiot.

      2. Too bad the guy with the rifle at Starbucks doesn’t move the Overton movie the right way.

    6. Sean

      I remain unconvinced that this was not a malicious action or a prelude to one. The crazies are out there and feel emboldened by the current news feeding frenzy.

  29. Count Potato

    “Billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, 66, kills himself in his Manhattan jail cell, 24 hours after files in his case were unsealed and two weeks after he was placed on suicide watch ahead of his sex trafficking trial”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7344181/Billionaire-Jeffrey-Epstein-dies-suicide-inside-Manhattan-jail-cell.html

    “Jeffrey Epstein had a ‘biological’ need to ‘have three orgasms a day’ says masseuse recruited to be his ‘personal assistant’ as lurid details emerge about millionaire pedophile’s penchant for ‘threesomes with underage girls’”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7343585/Jeffrey-Epstein-biological-need-three-orgasms-day.html

    1. PieInTheSky

      i hate to go all cliche on this but was he really a pedophile ?

      1. Urthona

        Probably not seeing the old photos of those girls.

      2. robc

        Also not a billionaire.

    2. leon

      I don’t believe the shooters were in on a conspiracy to deflect attention away from Epstein, but would the media have acted differently if there was a conspiracy?

    3. Rebel Scum

      Wasn’t he on suicide watch?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Mission accomplished.

  30. l0b0t

    Sorry for the OT but I need to vent as my anger is reaching the employment of crew-served weapons level. My kids have been using the H2O GO! Blobzter for the past 2 Summers and absolutely loved it. We awake this morning to find someone came into our yard last night and slashed it open, spilling a couple hundred gallons of water onto the yard and breaking my children’s fucking hearts! This is their very first time experiencing any crime or violation and it really, really, really hurts me to have to explain this shit to them.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      “People are assholes.”

      My kid sister’s moment came when she spent hours carving a Halloween pumpkin and proudly put it on our front porch. Of course, someone grabbed it and smashed it over night.

      Upside: this may have inspired her career choice, weapons research for the Army.

    2. Gender Traitor

      I’m sorry. I’m sure it would have been easier if someone had destroyed/vandalized/stolen something of yours instead of something that belongs to your kids.

      1. l0b0t

        Indeed. I’m an old curmudgeon but I was not ready for the bairn’s innocence of human nature to be spoiled so early. They should have their bike’s stolen like normal kids.

        1. Festus

          *looks back on prior vandalism and shakes it off ruefully* That sucks, man. I’ll bet that the miscreants are your neighbors.

          1. Rhywun

            Probably neighborhood kids.

          2. BEAM’s not a team player

            Probably neighborhood kids teenagers.

            FTFY.

          3. Rhywun

            Yes, that is what I meant.

          4. Fatty Bolger

            I wouldn’t assume that. I’ve thought the same thing before when something like this happened, and then it turned out to be adult neighbors. Maybe somebody didn’t like the noise from the kids playing on the thing.

          5. l0b0t

            I blame Brooklyn, wifey blames the HOA. Our house is on the beach but only 4 blocks from the 1st beach subway stop so we get a tremendous amount of walk-through traffic. On the other hand, I caught a very Becky looking middle-aged lady (I’m assuming from the HOA) taking pictures of our and our neighbor’s yards a few days ago. Eh, la, la… Wifey just ordered a suite of giant yard/water toys and a padlock for our gate. Escalation is good defense right?

          6. l0b0t

            Full disclosure – When i was 14 or 15, I got busted for vandalizing a house under construction in my neighborhood. In lieu of getting the Sheriff involved, my parents gave me to the homeowners to work off 120 hours of debt labor. They worked me like a rented mule: uprooting palmetto stumps, digging utility trenches, laying sod, cleaning the job sight, moving their furniture in, etc.. It worked and I’m a better man for it.

    3. Not Adahn

      There is something disproportionately range-inspiring about vandalism. To quote Vincent Vega, It’d been worth him doing it just so I could have caught him

    4. Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    5. PieInTheSky

      Fine I confess I did it

      1. l0b0t

        Thank you for your wonderful article about your vacation. I enjoyed living vicariously through your adventure and am quite excited you got the opportunity to taste those spirits that are unavailable in an non-blended form.

      2. Chafed

        Damn vampires.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    TW: Salon

    The Justice Department suppressed a report showing that suspected white supremacists were responsible for all race-based domestic terror incidents last year.

    Reading that made me dizzy.

    When we looked at our carefully crafted criteria, we discovered exactly what we were looking for.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Who leaves hanging materials in his cell? It is super suspicious.

    “I said, ‘Opie, didja think I was gonna hang myself for littering?’”

    1. Urthona

      Also. He was still fighting the charges and legal experts were saying there were issues with the Feds case that might be exploitable.

    2. Tres Cool

      + group W bench

    3. robc

      Is it Thanksgiving already?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Somewhat related — I was heading to Kinko’s yesterday and saw that a local St. Paul business (on the corner of Selby and Snelling, for you Minnesota glibs) had its sign “vandalized”(*) — the name of its business had “Kill the Patriarchy” spray-painted over it in bright red.

    (*)Scare quotes because I’m not 100% sure if it’s vandalization or something the owners perhaps had a hand in. I couldn’t find any sort of news story about it.

    Maybe it’s part of a back to school promotion.

    1. leon

      Manosphere’s fault

  34. The Late P Brooks

    More fom that Salon thing:

    The request to the DOJ came after the Trump administration consolidated 11 categories it used to identify domestic terrorism to four. One of the categories was a catch-all “racially-motivated violent extremism.”

    “This new category inappropriately combines incidents involving white supremacists and so-called ‘Black identity extremists,’ a fabricated term based on a faulty assessment of a small number of isolated incidents,” the committee’s Democrats said in a letter to Attorney General Bill Barr and FBI Director Christopher Wray. The letter said the senators were “deeply concerned that this reclassification downplays the significance of the white supremacist threat.”

    —–

    The Trump administration also declined to renew an Obama administration Countering Violent Extremism Grant Program and canceled the only grant specifically aimed at combating white supremacism. Since Trump took over, 85 percent of the DHS “Countering Violent Extremism” have instead targeted Muslims and other minority groups, according to an analysis by the Brennan Center for Justice.

    Ah-hah! Another thumb in Obama’s eye. When will the madness end?

    1. leon

      They need Trump to be a white supremacist. So they Cherry pick data and present it as the whole story.

    2. Rebel Scum

      so-called ‘Black identity extremists,’ a fabricated term based on a faulty assessment of a small number of isolated incidents

      White-supremacy is the only supremacy like only white people can be racist.

      1. pan fried wylie

        “Nidaveller? That sounds like a made-up word.”

        “All words are made-up.”

    3. Fatty Bolger

      You know, they tried this shit in the 90’s / early 2000’s, with some limited success, but it got sidetracked by 9/11.

  35. PieInTheSky

    Boiling 600 Pounds of Pig Parts in Louisiana!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54OQ-xBVG4I

    Today I learned that in Louisiana they apparently like sausage

    1. PieInTheSky

      Also I ran into this youtube account

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj0W6A8DLuw

      Cowboy Kent Rollins and I have to ask is he speaking in that old timey fashion for entertainment purposes or are there people in US who speak like that?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Yes, there are people who have that accent in the US. Quite a few different accents throughout the south.

        Also, I would ham it up if I were him as well. Have you seen his wife that he met through his cooking classes?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Throughout the country. Not just the south

        2. Old Man With Candy

          Yes. I was impressed.

        3. PieInTheSky

          for me it is not the accent as much as the expressions used

          things is fixin to get hot? really?

          1. Gender Traitor

            Ayep, they really is, I reckon.

          2. leon

            It’s been a hot minute since I’ve heard that phrase.

          3. leon

            That’s still common mannerisms in the South.

          4. Fatty Bolger

            Yeah, the accent isn’t unusual, but I think he’s deliberately hamming it up.

          5. Yeah, fixin’, or fittin’. I say “fixin’” pretty often.

          6. Old Man With Candy

            “Fixin’” as an indicator of future tense is very common in parts of the south and Texas/Oklahoma. In the Northeast urban areas, the indicator is “ahmon” as in “Ahmon bust a cap in that guy’s ass.”

          7. Rhywun

            Or “fidda” which I assume is another take on “fixin’”.

          8. Pine_Tree

            Yeah, “fidda” or “finna” is a contraction of “fixing to”.

      2. R C Dean

        He’s exaggerating for effect a little, but probably not that much.

      3. My in-laws speak like that. Rural east Texas.

      4. Old Man With Candy

        If you want to experience a completely fake accent, look up old videos from Justin Wilson.

      5. Count Potato

        Not only are there are people in the U.S. who speak like that, there are people in the U.S. you probably couldn’t understand.

      6. Tres Cool

        Having lived in Tejas, I can confirm that if its exaggerated, its not much.

      7. Not Adahn

        His tamales are pretty legit.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR5eXtIbEDY

  36. Crusty Juggler

    Woman found with meth in her vagina says she doesn’t know how it got there

    Authorities say a female correctional officer found, $6,233 along with “a clear plastic bag” of roughly 1 gram of methamphetamine in Rolland’s vagina.

    The 23-year-old said it wasn’t hers and she didn’t know where it came from.

    lol it was probably the poon fairy*, am I right?

    *Instead of the tooth fairy. I’ve got a million gems just like this. Fuckin’ hilarious.

    1. PieInTheSky

      See when I posted this the 15th time on this site I had the common sense to assume it was posted before and say so in the comment

      1. pan fried wylie

        Except, you hadn’t just shot yourself in the balls, so you weren’t distracted by drugs falling out of your anus while posting.

    2. I’m willing to believe her.

  37. Crusty Juggler

    Chrissy Teigen Says Kid Rock Is “Pathetic” After He Slams Taylor Swift For Getting Political

    Taylor Swift’s recent decision to speak out about her political views isn’t going over well with everyone. On Friday Kid Rock tweeted his criticism of Swift writing, “Taylor Swift wants to be a democrat because she wants to be in movies….period. And it looks like she will suck the door knob off Hollyweird to get there. Oldest move in the book. Good luck girl,” signing off with “Kid Rock.”

    Fortunately for Swift, Chrissy Teigen has her back. Teigen retweeted Kid Rock adding, “you’re pathetic. – Chrissy Teigen.”

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap! It’s on!

    1. Rhywun

      Who?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Kid Rock, had a couple of hits… oh…

        Seriously, heard him being interviewed on the SXM Elvis channel. He sounds like a genuinely nice guy and fun to hang out with.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m going to have to root for Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy. Also, pot meet kettle.

      1. leon

        I like your cobra style.

    3. I’ve heard of Chrissy Teigen, but I don’t know why. Is she like a Kardashian or something?

      1. Tres Cool

        Well, he is an american badass

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHbGsZUsisE

    4. Not Adahn

      I’m just bummed his senate campaign wasn’t legitimate.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    What’s our old pal Lucian K Truscoitt IV up to, these days? you ask

    We have a legitimate reason to be afraid of Patrick Crusius and his ilk because their deranged attachment to white supremacy causes them to kill people to bring attention to their cause. But I don’t think there’s much cause to fear the James Neallys of this world, because all they’re trying to do is shut you up. They don’t want people like me writing the things I write because it threatens their fellow white supremacists. In James Neally’s case, the white supremacist he’s trying to protect is the president of the United States.

    ——

    We need a new definition of white supremacy. Segregation was white supremacy. Voter suppression is white supremacy. Opposing immigration is white supremacy. Banning Muslims, and transgender people and other religious and ethnic minorities is white supremacy. The white supremacists themselves are redefining their movement for us, with the “great replacement” theory, that immigrants and people of color are “replacing” white people with their very presence in this country. They are. Their own children are marrying people of races other than white and giving them grandchildren who don’t look like them. Seventeen percent of marriages today are of mixed race. Everyone knows that in about 25 years, white people will be in a minority in this country.

    White people have used white supremacy for hundreds of years to justify making the rules, allocating the resources, determining who gets to go to college, who qualifies for what job, even who gets to own land and a house, and who gets to vote. White people have clung to whiteness as evidence of their superiority and power. But now they turn on the television, and they see mixed-race children in cereal ads, and gay married couples in ads for car insurance, and Latinos looking at washer/dryers that are being advertised. If everyone around you is turning black and brown, how do you tell who’s on top anymore?

    That’s what’s driving Patrick Crusius to kill people in a Texas Walmart and James Neally to threaten my life. And it’s what’s driving Donald Trump and Tucker Carlson and the entire Republican party for that matter. Donald Trump goes to his rallies and jokes about shooting immigrants. He encourages violence and then enables it. The Republican party and the NRA want Americans to be able to buy military weapons of war like the AK-47 used in El Paso and the AR-15 used in Pittsburg and Sandy Hook and Parkland and everywhere else. They put on their coats and ties and they talk the white supremacist talk and walk the white supremacist walk and 40-plus percent of the public supports them and votes them into office.

    This isn’t just about David Duke and the KKK anymore. It’s about President Donald Trump. It’s about Tucker Carlson and other enablers of hate on Fox News. It’s about who we are as a people and what kind of country we want to have. It’s about us.

    He’s ranting and raving about speaking truth to White Power. Never saw that coming, did you?

    Death threats and vile hateful emails will not deter him from his noble mission of calling everybody who doesn’t agree with him a racist and a White Power stooge. The man is a true American patriot who loves his country and despises its President, as all of us should.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      These fucks are going to create their hobgoblins if they have to do it themselves. Political violence, racism, they’re doing their damnedest to bring it to life.

      1. Count Potato

        They seem to be succeeding.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Opposing our policies is white supremacy.

    3. Rhywun

      Banning Muslims, and transgender people and other religious and ethnic minorities is white supremacy.

      lolwut

      1. leon

        You know, the law where doctors are forced to kill black and brown babies at birth.

        1. Rhywun

          And boy bodies with girl brains.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        Also, not wanting gun control is white supremacy. Not supporting abortion on demand is white supremacy. IT’S ALL WHITE SUPREMACY!!!

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Joe Scarborough really needs to keep his mouth shut regarding suspicious deaths.

      1. Count Potato

        He sounds insane.

    2. leon

      We’re becoming Russian!!!! This is all Trump’s fault.

  39. AlmightyJB

    Flirtation in the comments? What did I miss?

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Swiss finally gave in to HM’s seduction and they are meeting next weekend at the beautiful Mount Airy Lodge to…get to know each other better.

      1. AlmightyJB

        It was bound to happen eventually.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      It was hard to follow because of extensive Brooksing.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I have a hard enough time without the Brooksing since a phone surfer.

    3. Gender Traitor

      I’m assuming it was CPRM just happening to mention to WebDom that he’s single, at which point Daddy OMWC stepped in.

      1. AlmightyJB

        CPRM is Epstein?

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Nope, not them; it was far more extensive and entertaining. It’s been going on for weeks, but really went into high gear yesterday. SP and I were laughing our asses off, especially because we know one of them IRL.

      3. Old Man With Candy

        Oh, and trust me, WebDom can more than take care of herself. I pity the guy who pisses her off.

    4. I’ve been trying to figure it out but I can’t. Being really curious and also sort of dense is my own personal cross to bear.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Star Trek/Kill Bill mash-up?

  40. Crusty Juggler

    The Mouth and the Mask: Corey Taylor Isn’t Hiding Behind Anything

    “For the longest time, people looked at us like, ‘They’re just a band in masks—the only reason you’re popular is because you’re in masks,’” Taylor tells me now. “Well, no. There’s a little more to it than that. There’s a ton of fucking bands that wear masks. There’s a reason we’re at the top.”

    Taylor is as buoyantly black-humored as you’d expect and politically more progressive than many onlookers assume: When a 2016 Gawker post casually linked Slipknot to Trump-inspired white supremacy, Taylor fired back, defending his band specifically and heavy music in general from such stereotyping. Taylor’s very intense Twitter account makes clear that he’s no Trump fan; We Are Not Your Kind takes its title from a line in the band’s 2018 stand-alone single “All Out Life,” an especially anthemic call to arms that is also, in a Slipknot sort of way, a call for unity. This band has always been deeper than you thought, and heavier than you could possibly imagine.

    So heavy only the devil can lift it?

    1. Rhywun

      Such brave.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      So shitty only the Devil can listen to it.

    3. Pffft. Slipknot. Gimmicky nu-metal.

  41. R C Dean

    Say, wouldn’t somebody on suicide watch be under video surveillance? If not, why not, in this day and age?

    There really should be footage, but I bet there was a mysterious malfunction, darn it.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      It’s being withheld, out of sympathy for Epstein’s surviving family.

    2. Gender Traitor

      About as reliable as cops’ dashcams & bodycams.

    3. Urthona

      There was. THey say the camera in his cell malfunctioned. That’s what they are saying now.

      I am not much of a conspiracy theorist type because I usually view the government as too incompetent for conspiracies.

      But fuck. This is too much.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is that what they’re saying now? Bullshit!

      2. Fatty Bolger

        No conspiracy needed here. Just a good old fashioned jailhouse hit.

        1. R C Dean

          A jailhouse hit the guards were in on if the camera “malfunctioned” is a conspiracy.

          1. Fatty Bolger

            Not all jailhouse hits are perpetrated by other prisoners.

      3. R C Dean

        They really don’t see any reason to hide their contempt for us. What an amazing coincidence!

    4. grrizzly

      Only the footage of Epstein alone in the cell hanging himself would make me consider that it was a suicide.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        And that would only make me think that Epstein did the actual act himself. It would still leave open to him being pressured to off his himself.

    5. I realize that we’re talking about a prison system that can’t keep inmates from buying heroin, but I would think that it would be possible to keep a famous person who is awaiting what is likely the most politically-charged trial in the past decade and who’s passing would certainly be regarded as conspiracy-based from hanging himself in his cell. I mean, you’re the guy running this facility. You’ve got Jeffrey Epstein. This guy has a list of rich, famous, and powerful people who will be implicated in a massive scandal with likely criminal cases to follow. This is the guy who, maybe literally, knows where all the bodies are buried. You run the damn prison. How do you not pick four guys you trust, put them on shifts, and tell them that their new job is making sure this guy is safe and sound until trial?

      1. Sorry, Ted, I mean *whose.

      2. Urthona

        Exactly

        I think i just became a conspiracy theorist.

        1. leon

          Yeah. I don’t know who ordered it but this was straight up murder.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Lol

    2. Rhywun

      OMG that video… holy shit.

      1. Count Potato

        Insufferable. Even I couldn’t sit through that.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      EventHorizon • 2 years ago
      Are their periods synchronized as well?

  42. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Especially him. If I’d been in charge he’d have been locked in a bare room with no clothes and a fulltime guard. It’s too damn late now though.

    1. Urthona

      Or just do a single thing at all.

      1. Urthona

        I mean this guy was important to the feds.

        Even if there is no conspiracy this is banana republic shit here.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Some days, you get the bear. Some days, the bear gets you.

    Utah wildlife officials are searching for a bear that bit a sleeping 13-year-old on the face at a campground in the Moab area.
    The incident happened Friday along the Colorado River in the Dewey Bridge campground, the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said in a Facebook post.
    “The young man was injured on his right cheek and his right ear and was transported to a hospital for treatment. We are currently working with USDA-Wildlife Services and using dogs and traps in an effort to capture the bear,” it said.

    ——

    Officials found the bear’s tracks in the sand along the river. Because it attacked a human, it will be euthanized when it is located, officials said. The campground has been closed, and warning signs will be posted in the area.
    While bears often attack out of surprise or defensiveness, they can also target humans out of predation, according to the National Parks Service. Unlike surprised or defensive bears, stalking bears are ready to attack at anytime, so the best option is to seek shelter or be prepared to fight with everything you have, NPS said.

    Do you love nature? Nature doesn’t love you. Nature thinks you’re delicious.

    1. pan fried wylie

      Unlike surprised or defensive bears, stalking bears are ready to attack at anytime

      What constitutes a “defensive bear” if not readiness to attack?

  44. Count Potato

    “So strange.

    Do you know that female lipstick simulates sexual arousal?

    Can you imagine a man showing up for a business meeting with a giant artificial boner straining at his pants?

    Yet lipstick is perfectly acceptable in the business world.”

    https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/1159939516439961602

    What?

    1. Crusty Juggler

      He really makes ya think.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      I don’t think most women are sexually aroused by fake boners in your pants. If they were, we’d all be wearing them.

      1. Codpieces, though.

        1. Fatty Bolger

          Those are for showing off to the other boys.

      2. Gender Traitor

        But is the standard long necktie anything other than an arrow pointing at…?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          …my gunt?

    3. Interesting point, kind of, but I don’t think the parallel is a great big dong.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s the idea that a woman wearing makeup is approximating the flush and redness that’s seen during sex. I don’t buy it, it resembles healthy youth to me.

      1. Gender Traitor

        In all seriousness, I think it’s both.

    5. Gender Traitor

      At first, I thought he was talking about how a standard lipstick twists up out of the tube. Found this vid that’s essentially an episode of How It’s Made from the subcontinent.

  45. Count Potato

    “I was stunned by Epstein’s suicide, though probably not as much as Epstein himself.”

    https://twitter.com/officialmcafee/status/1160204761045463040

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Now that’s a good tweet.

    2. Urthona

      I’m also sad because I feel like I’m deprived of the entertainment value of seeing a bunch of rich politicians going down… but I mean is it over? The feds can keep drilling right?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        As long as Gislaine Maxwell’s still alive. She better hire some good bodyguards.

    1. leon

      This is a confession! Just like Trump admitted to working with Russians in front of a crowd.

  46. Count Potato

    “Breaking news: Long awaited audit of California’s troubled DMV “motor voter” program is out. Almost 84K duplicate voter registrations found, plus confusion over who really oversaw the program. First take >>”

    https://twitter.com/johnmyers/status/1159928068015706112

    https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-08-09/duplicate-voter-records-audit-california-motor-voter-system

    There is no cannibalism in the Royal Navy.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Don’t ask the second question. Did any of those duplicate voter registrations vote twice? Would be really easy to check. Not that I trust the audit itself to give a complete number of duplicates.

      1. Only twice?

      2. pan fried wylie

        foreach voter in voters
        if voter.ballot.count > 1
        print “””FYTW”””
        break

  47. The Late P Brooks

    Meanwhile in other bear news

    They probably don’t train people for this at the sheriff’s academy.

    As in, having your patrol car struck by a falling bear.

    Authorities say a Humboldt County sheriff’s deputy was driving on Highway 96 on Aug. 3, answering a report of a drug overdose in the community of Orleans, when the bear fell or jumped onto the car, apparently from a steep embankment.

    The bear smashed the hood and windshield. The patrol car hit an embankment, rolled onto its side and burst into flames.

    The deputy managed to escape without serious injury. The fire was contained to about half an acre but the car was gutted.

    The California Department of Transportation noted: “Don’t worry, the bear also fled the scene.”

    It’s bear terrorism, all the way down.

    1. Gender Traitor

      SURE there was a bear. Uh huh.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      No dash cam or body cam footage? I’m calling bullshit and say the cop drove off the road until evidence is presented.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      Did the bear yell “Surprise, motherfucker!!!”?

    4. Old Man With Candy

      Dropsy Wopsy resembled a bear
      Dropsy Wopsy flew through the air
      All of the sheriffs and all of the cops
      couldn’t figure out a rhyming last line.

    5. Tres Cool

      Great. Now I got this in my head.

    6. egould310

      Bear terrorism = bearrorism

      1. pan fried wylie

        It’s like they’re not even trying.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Do you believe in magic? Well, do ya, punk?

    “Frankly, we need intelligent background checks,” Trump told reporters Friday. He added, “On background checks, we have tremendous support for really common-sense, sensible, important background checks.”

    What all that means exactly isn’t clear yet. What is clear, from public opinion polling, is that Americans believe gun violence is a problem, and they support more restrictions on guns. That sentiment spilled over Sunday night when a frustrated crowd chanted “do something” at Ohio’s Republican Gov. Mike DeWine following the mass shooting in Dayton. They eventually drowned out his attempt to roll out his plan to curb gun violence.

    But, momentum for gun restrictions has fallen apart in the past — stymied by groups like the National Rifle Association — and there doesn’t yet appear to be a clear legislative strategy this time around. President Trump and Republicans will have a choice to make.

    There is public support for universal background checks for gun purchases, extreme risk protection orders, gun licensing, assault-weapons bans and bans on high-capacity magazines. But many of these issues are hotly polarizing. While they mostly enjoy support from Democrats and independents, Republicans are not always on board.

    Cast the spell!

    Cast the spell!

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Frankly, we need intelligent background checks,”

      No we don’t. Repeal the Brady Act.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Kiss my ass Trump, if you sign a universal bkg check bill you won’t get my vote nor will you win reelection.

      1. “Universal background checks” are the most ridiculous gun control canard. Nobody can be quite clear on what the hell they mean by them. It’s already the case that if you buy a gun from a store anywhere in the US you do an “instant” background check through the NICS system. Are they talking about transfers between private parties? In the states where they’re illegal they happen anyway. It’s completely unenforceable.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          They are talking about private party sales, all sales would have to go through a dealer as well as, I presume, gifted firearms, loaned firearms, and inherited firearms.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Yeah. I don’t know who ordered it but this was straight up murder.

    No wonder nobody takes us seriously.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    A February NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll, found less support for stricter laws covering gun sales, but still a majority (51%) were in favor. Another 36% said the laws should be kept as they are.

    But, like Quinnipiac, when people were asked if they thought it was more important to control gun violence or protect gun rights, 58% said control gun violence, the highest in at least six years. Just 37% responded that it was more important to protect gun rights.

    The mob has spoken!

    1. Gustave Lytton

      I’m sold. Must be the alternative constitution amending process in the invisible ink section of the document.

    2. leon

      Is it more important to protect Gay Rights or stop pedophilia?

      It’s just as evil and as much of a non-sequiter.

    3. Rhywun

      Now do “hate speech”.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wouldn’t worry about it too much, it all depends on how the items in the survey are framed.

  51. Stinky Wizzleteats

    According to ZeroHedge, Epstein was not on suicide watch:

    https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-08-10/jeffrey-epstein-dead-apparent-suicide

    Also, do yourselves a favor and stay away from the comments, sheesh.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      From the comments:

      aturday the 10th is a good day for Epstein to die. The occult hocus pocus love **** like this. Saturn= Saturday.

      “However, Saturn, like most power hungry individuals, quickly aged and forgot the c rimes perpetrated by his own father — crimes and misdemeanors which first brought him to fight the good fight. Saturn is so afraid of losing his hard won heavenly authority, that he eats five out of six of his children, as soon as they are born.”

      THE DECAD. 10.

      The Decad, number Ten, orPanteleia, which meant “All complete” or fully accomplished,” is the grand summit of numbers, which once reached cannot be passed; to increase the sum we must retrograde to the Monad.

      The word Ten was used by the Hebrews, instead of “a large number,” so that care must be exercised in translating this; thus Nehemiah interprets “ten generations” of Deuteronomy xxiii. v. 3 to mean “for ever.” Nehemiah xiii. 1.

      The Kabalists called 5, 6 and 10 circular numbers, because when squared, the result shows the same number in the unit figure, thus:

      5 times 5 are 25 and 5 times 25 are 125

      6 times 6 are 36 6 times 36 are 216

      10 times 10 are 100 10 times 100 are 1000

      **** completion-7:30=10 ( 7+3=10

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Can’t argue with that…

        1. Gender Traitor

          All you can do is say “Wut???”

    2. KSuellington

      Lemme guess, it was da Joos dat done it?

  52. KSuellington

    Re: the Epstein “suicide”

    Just a couple months back I worked for a few days in the involuntary hold psych ward at the local hospital. My job was to replace the anti-ligature hardware they had on their doors with new and improved anti-ligature hardware. I was a bit dumbfounded by how someone could hang themself on the older stuff, but apparently there was some convoluted method that I suppose was theoretically possible. I’m having a hard time believing that the Manhattan detention facility didn’t have similar anti suicide measures. I’m looking forward to whatever details come out about this.

    1. Sure you were “working”.

      1. KSuellington

        They even let me out for the weekends now.

  53. Gender Traitor

    The Epstein “suicide” is OMWC’s fault for calling his links post “boring” – from your mouth to God’s ears!

  54. The Late P Brooks

    She has a plan

    Democratic 2020 hopeful Elizabeth Warren on Saturday unveiled a sweeping gun control proposal that would see higher taxes on gun manufacturers, waiting periods for guns and an investigation into the National Rifle Association (NRA).

    The Massachusetts senator’s proposal comes a week after the two mass shootings in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio that left more than 30 people dead and dozens injured. Warren begins her plan with a goal of dramatically reducing gun deaths and then proposing policies that would help achieve that goal.

    “In 2017, almost 40,000 people died from guns in the United States. My goal as President, and our goal as a society, will be to reduce that number by 80 percent,” Warren said in a Medium post announcing the plan. “We might not know how to get all the way there yet. But we’ll start by implementing solutions that we believe will work.”

    Warren proposes executive action to “rein in an out-of-control” gun industry and hold manufacturers accountable for gun violence. Those actions include background checks, extending bulk sale reporting requirements and raising the minimum age for purchase on certain guns.

    —–

    Warren goes on to propose a law that would impose criminal liability and jail time for gun company CEOS if their company “is found guilty of a crime or their negligence causes severe harm to American families.”

    ——

    Part of that package would include as assault weapons ban, a ban on “high-capacity ammunition magazines” and a ban on “deadly gun accessories.” Her legislation would also increase taxes on gun manufacturers, including raising taxes to 30 percent on guns and 50 percent on ammunition “to reduce new gun and ammunition sales overall and to bring in new federal revenue that we can use for gun violence prevention and enforcement of existing gun laws.”

    The Democrats with save us from the fascist authoritarian nightmare which is Trump’s America.

    1. Rebel Scum

      to reduce that number by 80 percent

      Shouldn’t the goal, even if unachievable, be 100%?

      hold manufacturers accountable for gun violence

      People who aren’t committing crimes should be held accountable for those that are?

      assault weapons ban, a ban on “high-capacity ammunition magazines” and a ban on “deadly gun accessories.”

      Illegal persuant to the founding charter of the federal government which you will be swearing an oath to uphold should you happen to win.

      30 percent on guns and 50 percent on ammunition “to reduce new gun and ammunition sales overall and to bring in new federal revenue that we can use for gun violence prevention and enforcement of existing gun laws.” price poor people out of self-defense.

      fascist authoritarian nightmare

      Yup, Every day she sounds more like an *actual* fascist, not the “fascist” that leftists accuse everyone else of being.

    2. So if I hit somebody over the head with a heavy book and beat that person to death, the publisher of the book should be held criminally liable?

    3. pan fried wylie

      that would see higher taxes on gun manufacturers

      Because, hey, why not.

  55. blackjack

    Anybody notice how hard it is for AOC to get those mean red team to help her bring about more freedom?

    1. blackjack

      T/W, TOS.

      1. Chafed

        Broken clock etc

    2. Cy

      Not nearly as triggering as the Gasden flag on the White Supremacist article. I know Reason had lost their shit, but that is ridiculous.

    3. blackjack

      I started reading the paper version in the late eighties. I cannot believe what they’ve done to it. No words. Thank ya’ll for making this site and giving us a last bastion of hope.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    with will

  57. The Late P Brooks

    So if I hit somebody over the head with a heavy book and beat that person to death, the publisher of the book should be held criminally liable?

    It was the author’s fault. Hate speech.