I mean seriously, I didn’t have to slog through morning link vomit to make sure I didn’t toss in a duplicate link. It’s almost as liberating as walking around the house with just a t-shirt on. Almost.
Could somebody get a couple of rags, so that these guys can clean up?
Over in bearded Spock universe, Nancy Pelosi is the voice of reason.
AOC says, “Herpity, derpity, derp, derp, derp.”
Just another tease from the Cosmos.
We’ll miss ya, Eddy. I’m surprised you made it this long.
Tonight’s music selection ends with one of my favorite guitar solos of all time.
Comments
425 responses to “Saturday night links of giddiness”
Nice links!
First?
At least we still have Lou Reed, right?
https://youtu.be/7FdYRq8-6kM
We’ll always have Lou Reed, even though he has leprosy.
Wtf? I could have sworn mine was first with no one above it. Now #2.
We tied. I’ll share 😉
“Shirley Knott”
“We tied”
Noticed, what you did there was.
Someone may owe for a keyboard……I choked on my beer
Third loser!
Wait. Is that second loser or are we all losers here?
Based on the Glibertarian baseline, or the normal world?
I Resemble that!
A door for each loser!!
Someone should ask AOC which coastal metropolis she thinks will vanish first: Boston, Miami, New Orleans, New York City, San Francisco, San Diego, Seattle… There are so many from which to choose.
I nominate most of NJ.
Why do you want to pollute the oceans?
Sick burn!
YOU get a flood! and YOU get a flood and YUO<AND < YOU! YES YOU! get a floood.
Oprah New Deal….
I vote for Seattle.
If SMOD keeps teasing us, I’m going to vote for the Cascadia Subduction Zone.
I’m a big fan of MegaThrust myself.
. . . wait. We’re still talking about earthquakes, right?
Great Band, I hope Dave’s…… oh,
nevermind
Dave’s not here, man.
Chicago
Well that’s a dumb question. Of course it will be Miami, it’s further down on the map.
/AOC
Dammit, not Eddie!!!!
I mean, seriously, he should have died from an overdose 20-30 years ago.
You take that back! Eddie was Money, dammit! A god amongst men.
I saw a photo of him – he looked rough. He’s was only 70 but looked 85 or more.
‘Murica
Fuck yeah!!
Ok, I know I share Babylon Bee too much, but the real kicker on this one is that FB automatically appended a Hoax alert and said it was fake news. Somehow enhanced the humor.
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-unveils-2020-campaign-strategy-of-just-letting-democrats-speak-freely
Thats not even satire….it is what should be done.
*snort*
I chortled at that one as well.
The Bee is never too much. They are like us, only with more readers, writers and content.
Humor is the hing that authoritarians hate most, because authoritarianism rests on a foundation of bullshit and privilege. Undermine that foundation and the edifice crumbles.
Also never too much
“They are like us, only with more readers, writers and content.”
And money. Don’t forget money. (Or, Money, seeing as how….)
Because, ‘Murica.
That is an awesome one.
I already posted this Murf’s Guns ad (from my hometown) but if you like that one, you’ll probably appreciate this one.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z3TIxWZd6Zc
Pure classic.
That was great.
Beautiful, thank you.
The link, I mean. You faboo too, hon.
With an ad like that how could I not go down there and buy something? Damned shame he is too far away, I wouldn’t hesitate.
I went to his website to place an online order (even for some mags for my M9!) but his selection is amazingly bad.
I love those guys.
This came up on the side bar. Old style “Murica.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TajUFGstkk4
Roller Derby Queen.
Because the Dew Drop Inn was mentioned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=952h-AJ3Bcg
Off to work. Sighhhhhh.
I grew up watching old-school, inclined track, roller derby on teevee. For those of you (get off my lawn, kids) who don’t remember, this was the femsploitation analogue to “professional” wrestling.
Totes respect for the tough chicks who have reclaimed roller derby into a real sport. Go, WFTDA.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_Flat_Track_Derby_Association
Not quite as old-style America
Much superior to the Lee Greenwood pabulum. Back in ’91 “that song” almost made me jump back on a plane heading back to Kuwait.
One of the three albums that helped shape my early music interests. He left us way too soon.
Wow, I can’t imagine how many libtard soyboy millennials were DESTROYED with FACTS and LOGIC after watching that.
Why would you try facts and logic with people that have no idea what that means?
You’re not entertained by performative anti-wokeness?
shub verse
3 months ago
My parakeet accidentally ate that coffee
He is now a bald eagle
I am actually subscribed to their coffee club. They also donate to gun rights organizations on the regular. Their coffee is fantastic. My personal favorite is Blackbeard’s Delight. Hand ground (using a ceramic burr grinder someone here recommended) and that shit is unbelievable. 10/10, highly recommend.
And yeah, I love watching them DESTROY LIBTARD SOYBOY MILLENIALS in their videos, deal with it HM.
Hand ground coffee? Hipster status confirmed.
It’s okay, I left that off the list of capitalized things.
Hmmm.
I have been a devotee to Death Wish since it was first served here, and becasue it brews up in my maker the same as in a commercial one. But I will try these guys on your recommendation. God have mercy on your soul if you have lead me astray.
This is one of those companies I wish I liked the product.
I don’t get coffee.
Even the foo-foo sweet coffee drinks.
Give me tea instead. No sugar
It would be a lot easier for me to believe warnings about rising sea levels if not for the fact that guys like Obama and Gore are buying up beach front property.
I’d be more willing to believe in global warming if the main advocates didn’t lie, exaggerate, and insist every storm or stretch of weather was proof. If this thing is real, stick to the facts, dump the hyperbole, and let adults come to an educated decision.
That’s exactly what they’re doing. There was a “consensus” on the premise that the climate has changed and that human activity has something to do with it. But now they’re making all these ridiculous statements that have no basis in science and just screaming “consensus!!” every time they’re called on it.
There’s a consensus among dietitians that an excessive amount of refined sugar is bad for you. Imagine if I read that, then went around saying that every single person in the US will be dead of diabetes-related complications in 10 years if we don’t make sugar completely illegal today. Then, if anyone ever questioned my idea, I called them an anti-science moron and wailed about the consensus that they refuse to recognize.
That’s pretty much what CAGW proponents have turned into.
Weeeeeeeeee
https://mobile.twitter.com/espn/status/1172955895426441216?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
Dayum!
I saw the hit on the highlights. Right up there with when Frank Gifford got laid out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1EHius5Y88
Yeah, I bet Kathy Lee did a number on him.
Oh–that other “hit”! Right!
Ouch.
White men can’t jump
OT: I told a guy he lives too far away and I don’t want kids (he has young kids) and he should look for someone else. I feel bad, but not bad enough to drive for an hour to see him. Back to looking.
Sorry, Tulip. 🙁
You have my sympathy. Dating sucks. If you don’t mind my asking, where do things stand with Mr. Bad Idea?
Not doing that. He is probably a drug dealer, so… I need my security clearance. Work kinda sucks right now, so I really need it if I’m looking for something else
Oh, yeah – now I remember that. Good call. Ick.
Isn’t a drug dealer a bad idea regardless?
Not if you like drugs.
*saunters by whistling innocently*
Ask Skyler White.
Good choice. It wouldn’t be fair to anybody to continue if the basic conditions can’t be met.
This. My dating app profile contains a couple of tests to screen out people who don’t read profiles, and think they can renegotiate my TOS. “No face pic, no chat” means just that. I LOL (silently) at the guys who think that means sending me an alleged face pic of themselves fulfils the TOS.
I usually just go straight to dick pic.
On Facebook.
Are you listed as “Snatchmo”? Because that totally rocks.
No. “Ligma”.
Mr. Sach is that you?
Heh.
Well, if I liked him more (he was bad idea guy with out the drugs) I would be willing to drive. But I don’t like him that much based on the two meetings we’ve had.
Oh, hon…
Yeah, if there are no sparks or fireworks after two meetings [EJECT]
Exactly
Two meetings? I thought wimmenfolk knew immediately, but sometimes had a second date to convince themselves they weren’t bad people for rejecting the guy.
On the other hand, I’m definitely more attracted to people I know well. There is a guy at work who is 10 years younger than me and I would in a heartbeat. But, I work with him and am not about to screw that up.
Never shit where you eat, hon.
Those things always seem prudent in the moment, but turn out poorly in the long run.
When I first met him, he was a pain in the ass. Now, oh hell yes, but I work with him and won’t screw that up
Step 1: Get him fired.
Step 2: Console him.
Profit!
I also don’t think he’s interested in me that way, so…
So no brown M&Ms?
The Truth About Van Halen And Those Brown M&Ms
I love him so much.
I knew the brown M&Ms was a check to see if the contract was read.
I did NOT know it was for such a serious reason.
Yup, was about to type the same.
Just let him and let yourself keep looking.
Yep, seemed the kinder option as opposed to the nicer option
And he responded that he wants someone younger. So he can have the last word. If I have learned anything,it’s that it isn’t personal
Sick neg
I’m working on an article about online dating, and seriously, you can’t take it personally. It’s weird, because you are trying to make a personal connection, but you really, really can’t take it personally.
That should rival anything by SugarFree.
No because I’m trying to be kind to any one who responded to me. Whether they disserve it or not
Online dating is truly one of the innermost circles of hell.
No, it’s not personal. But the marketplace is cruel.
Poetic license, Tulip. You can easily throw in a couple of “Wannafuds?”.
I wouldn’t characterize online dating as any sort of hell – got laid a lot and met my wife thru it. Before such ads, couldn’t get a date at all.
An hour drive is pretty much my limit, and that assumes the guy does at least half the driving.
Kids are not a problem for me, per se, but at my age the kids are at least college age. Can certainly understand about “young” ones; there are always unforeseen circumstances, exes playing dominance games using custody/visitation, etc.
I became step mom to 8 yr old and 10 yr old boys.
It was a toughie and I considered it king and hard, then jumped in with both feet.
I’m proud to say I had a positive influence on their lives. One is even a libertarian. They are grown and gone (in their 20s now).
I also taught my spouse how to prevent his ex from pushing his buttons. It was all in all positive, but I won’t pretend it was easy.
If the kids are without one parent due to widowhood, I think it’s probably easier than if the ex still looms large.
You’re saying you raised a libertarian? OK, now I really doubt you exist.
“If the kids are without one parent due to widowhood, I think it’s probably easier than if the ex still looms large.”
Oh, hell, no. You can never compare favorably to a memory.
I’m proud to say I had a positive influence on their lives. One is even a libertarian. They are grown and gone (in their 20s now).
You should be. Cultural inheritance is just as important as DNA in language-using, tool-making species.
My worst dating situation was when I actually liked parenting more than the boyfriend.
Boyfriend: Uh, yeah, we hang out and play video games…
Tonio: Okay, today we’re going to build a trebuchet out of popsicle sticks and rubber bands.
If crafts at camp had included building siege weapons I’d have behaved better.
Boys need a completely active curriculum that is anathema to the modern government TitleIX educational complex.
Hmmm. I think I just made a tactical error. I just poured a second Manhattan before dinner. It’s probably a good thing there’s leftover pizza in the fridge.
Oh, been there. Hard to cook when tipsy
It’s easy to cook, just don’t go outside for a smoke, it’s just simmering!
Yeah. Somehow I’m sober and decided to make instant pot deviled eggs.
You don’t drink, right?
So you have no excuse
I do drink a little.
Just not regularly.
UCS, one think we all know is that everything you do you do regularly.
There is a beer scheduled at 8:00.
Which reminds me, I’m four minutes late on my first vodka pour.
Be careful if you switch to 100 proof vodka…I got some unexplained bruises between Wednesday night and Thursday morning.
For the record, instant pot deviled eggs actually work very well.
Set eggs on a steamer rack. Add 1 cup of water. Set on high pressure for 5 minutes. Move to ice water. They peel easier than regular boil, and are fully cooked.
Complete deviled eggs as per normal.
I love deviled eggs – only started making them recently.
TBH, I don’t find the instant pot any faster than stovetop given how long it takes for the pressure to build up.
Dinosaur BBQ has deviled eggs as one of their sides. I was pleasantly surprised.
It felt faster, because I could just do other stuff and wait for the beeps.
I’ll probably give it another try just to confirm – I only did it once in the pot.
Oh, OMWC and I used to be able to put out restaurant quality food, while flat out shitty. But that was 20 years ago.
But was it really that good, or did it just taste good because you were so tanked?
We’re professionals, dude.
Being a professional drunk hardly answers anything. Taco Bell and Waffle House have seen to that.
Heh, I was making a caprese last night and Mom said, “It’s almost like you worked in a restaurant.” Then I told her, “(Spud) and I did this for 120 people once.”
On the universal compatibility of cheese and tomatoes, I’ve been making a salad out of grape tomatoes and this goat’s milk “cream cheese” that is the absolute shiznit. It has a bizarre texture that is soft, but holds it’s shape completely, kind of like whipped cream. But it’s denser than that. It doesn’t break down or weep like whipped cream or yougurt though. I don’t understand the stuff, I just know I want to eat more of it.
Are we talking Maxim’s or White Castle?
More toward Maxim’s, with the occasional White Castle thrown in for good measure.
and of course pop tarts for OMWC’s floozy of the night
Think 2 Michelin stars. They really are that good. (There had to be a reason I married OMWC, right?)
I’d make a joke about Stockholm syndrome and kidnapping, but based on the evidence you would have escaped long before that could set in.
I am tough and cunning. He wouldn’t stand a chance.
Well, that and it got you out of orphan status.
And the wine cellar. Can’t forget that.
Fair point.
I had a Burrito before starting, I’ll be fine til dinner, then?
Deluge!
So, I guess, hit that theme music.
Just kidding. Hit THAT theme music.
Nah, this should be the national anthem.
^ TOTALLY AGREE.
I just learned something new. I had no idea Jimmy was in the 101st Airborne.
I was tempted to turn this bit from the last debate into a Spot the Not, but I think I’ll just post it as is:
CASTRO: It automatically enrolls people regardless of whether they choose to opt in or not. If you lose your job, for instance, his health care plan would not automatically enroll you. You would have to opt in. My health care plan would. That’s a big difference. I’m fulfilling the legacy of Barack Obama, and you’re not.
BIDEN: That’ll be a surprise to him.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Andrew Yang?
YANG: Come on, guys.
BUTTIGIEG: This is why presidential debates are becoming unwatchable.
KLOBUCHAR: Yeah.
BUTTIGIEG: This reminds everybody of what they cannot stand about Washington, scoring points against each other, poking at each other, and telling each other that — my plan, your plan. Look, we all have different visions for what is better…
CASTRO: Yeah, that’s called the Democratic primary election, Pete. That’s called an election.
You know who else was named Castro and enrolled people in his social welfare schemes whether they wanted to or not?
“Look, we all have different visions for what is better…”
Control freaks in a nutshell. Not one of those shitweasels asked us what we think is better for ourselves. Not one of those shitweasels is qualified to decide what is better for everyone else.
KLOBUCHAR: Yeah. You need to be slapped.
*slaps Buttigieg, then some other random people*
A re-run, but worth it:
***
Al-Qaeda marked the 16th anniversary of 9/11 by releasing previously unseen footage of Mohand al-Shehri, one of the hijackers aboard United Airlines Flight 175 that
crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center, noting that the terrorists have “longed for your beautiful lands” and find the blood of Americans “delicious.”
…
“America, where shall you escape? The sea is behind you, we are in front of you, and there is no way out. If you accept Islam, you shall be safe and Allah will give
you your reward and the reward of those after you, or else just wait for us. With the permission of Allah, we are coming to sever your heads, rip apart your bellies
and make you fall over yourselves. You will be looking for rescue and there will be no way out. There will be no solution for you except death and then even more
death,” he continued.
“We have longed for your beautiful lands, for its streams and trees, palaces and lakes. We have resolved to tread upon your lands and embrace the maidens of paradise
on your soil. Your blood is delicious for us and your meat cheap. We are thirsty and nothing shall quench this thirst except your blood, nothing shall satiate our
hunger except your meat. There is no stopping what has been decreed by Allah.”
***
Religion of peace for the win!
And yes, I know atrocities were committed in the name of Christianity yada yada. But we can talk about it and acknowledge it.
Yet our leaders keep force feeding us this “religion of peace” crap re Islam.
Do an internet search for “Muslims outraged” and one for “Buddhists outraged” and see how they stack up.
Honestly the closest to a Religion of Peace is probably Wicca, even though i think it’s bunk. But how very libertarian is their central tenant: “if it harm none, do as ye will.”
Not Bahá’í?
Every Bahá’í I’ve met has been a white person.
Jainism is the real religion of peace, IMO. The founder, Mahavira said:
“Do not injure, abuse, oppress, enslave, insult, torment, torture, or kill any creature or living being.”
Mahavira means great hero in Sanskrit.
See? Everyone wants to come to America.
::giggles uncontrollably::
That is a gorgeous shade of green.
“America, where shall you escape? The sea is behind you, we are in front of you, and there is no way out. If you accept Islam, you shall be safe and Allah will give”
Nah. Pass.
I think the better course of action is to speed up their joining Allah in the afterlife.
+1 Picard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3RNsZvdYZQ
I was thinking Red Dawn but that works too.
Well, now, that was hot.
We are thirsty and nothing shall quench this thirst except your blood, nothing shall satiate our hunger except your meat. There is no stopping what has been decreed by Allah.
These euphemisms….
We have longed for your beautiful lands, for its streams and trees, palaces and lakes
Cow Palace, Corn Palace,… and Ceasar’s Palace?
Guys, I think just fucked up,
I forgot I was lecturing and by instincts I ripped a fat cloud with my Revolutionary A.I. Vape Avenger 270, fatter clouds less tar, 3.1 ohm with my fat juicy white cloud grape strawberry chocolate e juice, 60 vg 40 pg, bro I fogged up the entire class and set of all the fire alarms in the buildings, some kid’s service dog literally overdosed ? and now he wants $8000 for a new one. Bro there was so much smoke the paint started to peel off and now the university thinks its MY fault they need an entire renovation of the classroom. Bro every students’ laptop was dripping wet and destroyed and now they want ME to pay for new laptops. Bro it wasn’t my fault it was an accident.
Please any of you know what i should do? Please any help, please bros. This is the last time I can talk to y’all for a bit, I’m at the local police station, and I’m gonna spend a couple days here, apparently killing the service dog and a kid with asthma BY ACCIDENT is like really bad and now I’m being detained for manslaughter. Bros leave any help here, I’ll read it later, thank bros.
You got a set of lungs on you, bruddah.
Is there any sarcasm involved here are are you genuinely in hot water?
Me? Sarcasm and irony?
Do you also send money to bail out your friends whose wallets are stolen in Paris?
They called you too!?!
No, they contacted me through Facebook Messenger!
/not actually on FB
(Hey, I saw you have a new article in process. Woohoo!)
Bruh, you need a GoFundMe?
That sounds like Strange Clouds to me.
YMMV
“Bro there was so much smoke“
I thought you were vaping.
If you killed a dog, I’m afraid I’m going to have to end you. It’s a shame, I enjoyed having you around.
Playfully grab a cop’s gun. They think that is hysterical. But make sure you mention how much you hated that whiny asthmatic punk before you do.
“Bro it wasn’t my fault it was an accident.”
Ummmmmm….I don’t think that is how it works.
That’s like the third time you posted about that mod.
Also, if you were a cloud chaser you would sub ohm with max VG (and who even makes 60/40?)
Start doing heroin or coke. They’ll soon have lesser penalties than vaping THC.
Or tomacco.
Hey YUFUS! My Kroger, in a clear price war with Meijer, had my 24 oz Milwaukee’s Beast Diet for $0.99 ea.
So you know what that means!
Damn Skippy!!!
Hit that!
Re first link:
I love seeing cases that show where the levels on the Progressive Stack are. If that woman had done to the same to a Republican senator at their children’s funeral, she’d be stunning and brave™.
Cruz Urges Republicans Not To Cave On Second Amendment
If Republicans abandon the Second Amendment and demoralize millions of Americans who care deeply about Second Amendment rights, that could go a long way to electing a President Elizabeth Warren. We’re going to see record-shattering Democratic turnout. The only element missing to ensure Democratic victory is demoralizing conservatives so they stay home. I hope we don’t do that. I think that would be a serious mistake, but it would also be a serious mistake as a policy matter.
The Democrats’ proposal would not have prevented any of these mass murders. We ought to be focusing seriously, substantively on how you stop these horrific crimes – and what they’re proposing wouldn’t do it. What I’m proposing has a far greater likelihood of preventing these kinds of crimes.
Not only that. Democratic gun confiscation proposals, which are getting more and more common – and by the way, when it comes to gun confiscation on the Left, it starts with so-called “assault rifles,” but the next step is handguns. Now, at this point, I expect people around the room to snicker and say, “Come on! That’s ridiculous. They’ll never go to handguns.” Just remember that in about 24 months when we see them pushing for handgun confiscation – they have not yet proposed it, but that is, I believe, their ultimate goal … full confiscation – that would cost lives.
Handguns are “weapons of war” too. Of course they will be next on the list.
Then it’s,
Plants and hills and rocks and things,
And the air was full of sound,
I been through desert on
A horse named Frank,
And road him all the way,
To the bank,
Most olde-tymey gun-controley states (like NY) are already a fuckton closer to banning pistols than long arms.
Hello, SCOTUS? Fix this, please.
Notice that asshat Beto also focused on that “designed to kill” ammo. That’s a short hop to all bolt actions too.
Fuck Bloomberg.
“designed to kill”
I caught that too and thought “unlike every other weapon…”
I think they are in for a bigger fight in most of NYS than they think.
The Sheriff in the county of my birth, where most people have multiple guns and most also have concealed carry permits, have flat-out made it simple to legally “comply” with various provisions while not actually doing a damn thing to enforce anything from Albany. This has been going on for decades.
I grew up in “inner city” Rochester, no dad, no guns, etc.
My eventual stepfather entered the picture sometime in JHS, and after they moved to Le Roy when I went to college, his gun collection went with them. No idea where he’s been keeping them during the years when he’d been living with us in the city on-and-off. Lord knows he went hunting plenty of times. I can only imagine my mom didn’t want them in the house or something. It was never discussed.
I think I even have my Jewish city-bred-always-voted-Democrat MIL convinced that everyone should be armed to defend themselves.
Edited to add: She thankfully has no idea where the guns are or any access to them, and the house is pretty locked down because I’m a security freak.
Sean, hurry up before they run away!
Your PA live camera is showing at least two elks.
I saw some earlier. They’re pretty reliable to show at dusk. ?
Also, be sure to have audio on.
Yup. Constitutional questions notwithstanding, no Military on the planet has ever issued AR-15’s as a standard infantry arm. So calling it a “weapon of war” is a lie. But do you know what militaries have used as standard infantry arms? Literally everything else from bolt-guns, lever-guns, revolvers to smooth-bore muskets, etc.
It started with automatic weapons. We are not at the start, we are well along the road, and we are letting a good decade (which has ended btw) of push back fool us into thinking this war is actually being won.
Let’s all hear it for Norwich City.
Huzzah?
OH HELL YEAH
I didn’t watch it, only checked the scores about an hour ago
Highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnhysL6jC9s
I’ve got an acquaintance who’s a Man City fan who bitches about other teams’ spending.
Frankly I’d love to see Man City wind up like Leeds.
Aaaand, Arizona takes down Michigan.
That was Arizona State.
The Wildcats suck.
Touchy!
I’d warn you to pick a side, but you’re not into kids sports.
Seriously though, ASU fans are not known for their manners. They once heckled Steve Kerr during a game over his parents dying in the Beirut bombings.
Well, they shouldn’t have been in Beirut, huh?
I attended neither school. I am not morally responsible for the actions of anyone involved. Including the bombers.
They aren’t known for literacy or much of anything except a level of promiscuity that actually decreases (whew almost said goes down, that would have been ugly) when they graduate and start their careers as strippers, porn stars, and plain old hookers.
“I don’t know what that word is, man,” Pedroia said. “Arizona State education, bro.”
You could report this on pretty much any given day and it would still be accurate.
One of my pet peeves is folks assuming someone is stupid just because they don’t agree with that person, and it’s a tendency I worked for years to rid myself of. But in the case of Crazy Eyes, well, I’m sorry, but the girl is a dimwit. She’s a dullard. She’s as thick as a whale omelette. She’s from the shallow end of the gene pool. When they were handing out brains, she thought they said “trains” and said “no thanks, I’ll catch the bus.” If brains were gasoline, she couldn’t run a piss-ant’s go-cart around the inside of a cheerio. If brains were dynamite, she couldn’t blow her nose.
I suspect I’ve overestimated her intelligence a bit. But I do try to be generous.
This is why I like you. I never have to wonder what you’re thinking.
Also, Mrs Animal is totally awesome, and I trust her judgment.
Yes, she is. Marrying her was the smartest thing I ever did.
Based on the autobiography, I completely believe that!
Oh, you haven’t seen the best stuff yet. I’ve got a whole passel of “hold my beer and watch this” stories from my late teens.
/pours a drink, pulls up a chair and gets ready to listen to the best stories
I could eat alphabet soup, and shit something makes more sense than anything AOC has ever said.
that makes more sense that is
Damn you Sam Adams Oktoberfest! You taste great and make me stupid!
I still think she might be part of some elaborate troll.
At least, that is what I am hoping because it would be hilarious.
” If brains were gasoline, she couldn’t run a piss-ant’s go-cart around the inside of a cheerio.”
That’s the only one I haven’t heard before. Thanks for the education.
WILLIAMS: Academic Stupidity And Brainwashing
College students not being graded on grammar? Oh joy, the crap I have to read is going to get worse?
Totes.
And people bitch when I comment on grammar?
No, when you comment on grammar, people think you’re a bitch.
Ted, if you had to parse out some of the crap I am presented to “check over to make sure its* legal”, you’d never worry about an apostrophe again.
*couldnt’** resist
** sorry I just cant*** stop
*** Ok too far I know
Also can’t stop
More people who can’t stop
Note to Contributing Writers: Speaking of articles in process, we have 2 spots available for the coming week, 1 evening and 1 midday. Someone needs to claim them by finishing an article and saving as Pending, or OMWC, Webdom, or I will be forced to come up with something. And you don’t want THAT, do you?
I have something, but not sure it’s Glibs-worthy.
Have you seen the stuff we publish here at Glibs?
Eeeewwww!
Okay, all slapped up there in the pending review queue.
Is this a new submission system? I always just got a an email asking for a file?
You go to the dashboard, click on POSTS, click on ADD NEW. When you’re finished, where the “publish” button usually is, click SUBMIT FOR REVIEW.
And then tell SP there’s something in the review queue.
They ask you for submissions??? [runs from room, crying]
No. I am just so old and busted I was still submitting pitches and then replying to the email granting my the right to petition with a word file. Now I am all new and techy, and probably just broke the whole site.
Does it involve cuntes?
It does not. It is a social media rant, but, like, with Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, none of which most Glibs use.
*makes a sign of the cross with a ribeye in hand from with in a circle of bacon*
I’d eat that ribeye and the bacon. I just pretend to be a vegetarian at home.
Ewwww. That bacon was on the ground. ?
Bacon fat fries at a high enough temperature to break down microbial toxins.
I knew there was something about you…
…although I have been inadvertently vegetarian due to the hyperabundance of great produce and cheese that has come my way this week.
Also knew there was something about you….
Remind me tomorrow to ask Tundra to ID that car.
AC Cobra replica.
Great song. Cool car.
I have one that will be long enough for multiple slots; if you want it. I really don’t know if anyone here needs it though since it is sort of a civics lesson discussing the initial form of our Government and does not have any humor in it. (maybe none of my pieces do, but the other ones at least tried.
Don’t sell yourself short. You’re batting 1.000 on lack of humor.
Dammit.
Yours was a kinder gentler “don’t sell yourself short”, but to both of you, I am actually pretty happy with what I have written, I just don’t want to have SP say “Oh go ahead and send it in” thinking it is a snarky rant, when it is more a dry discussion of Article 1 sections 8 and 9 and the BOR.
Nerdz! [wedgies Jarflax]
*Spud follows up with a proper swirly*
I really don’t know if anyone here needs it though since it is sort of a civics lesson discussing the initial form of our Government and does not have any humor in it.
Even if most of us don’t need it, in the sense that we already get it, it’s always good to have reinforcement. Also, everyone has a different take on things and the way you came to this place may be helpful to fellow Glibs, or as a way of explaining things to others in our lives.
Serious articles are a lot harder than snarky humor. Don’t sell yourself short.
I have something about how only ugly Asian girls get bangs. If they are hot, they let their hair flow long and black as god intended. *Seriously, have something almost ready.
I’ll give the hot ones bangs IYKWIMAITYD
You’re a gay hair dresser? NTTAWWT.
Will hot Asian women try to straighten me out? If so I am gay and I’ll play with their hair.
I expect before and after pics.
I’ve got something completed.
I just want to proofread it in the morning.
A slightly tired Sensei proofread and submitted.
If you don’t mind giving it a quick once over for any obvious typos it would appreciated.
As always thanks for all you do to keep the lights on here.
Got one finished up and sent to the queue.
Tonight, going the pan-Asian route. Salad of pea shoots, carrot, green papaya, and water chestnuts with a Japanese-style dressing. Then a vegetarian take on Wuxi hot and sour soup. Still thinking through dessert.
Wish Spud was here, we could do three more courses and fall over drunk.
I definitely have to come visit you guys
Guest room is ready. But remember that SugarFree was the last one in there…
The door is always open to you.
Well, not literally, because we have to keep my MIL from wandering away, but….
Chawan mushi would be nice in that lineup.
It’s “wanchan mushi”. At least that’s what I tell my kid. (Means “steamed dog”)
Sounds easy to prepare. Just leave them in the car.
No bugs? 虫?
Suppose if I wrote her a note that would work.
I’m sure she’d just “mushi suru” you!
無視する
Not steamed hams?
Good idea, wish you were here to make it.
awwwwww
Shame about Money. ‘Baby hold on’ is a great song. I remember buying the ‘Take me home tonight’ single at Disqus I think it was around 1985 or thereabouts?
AOC must never know where the guns are.
There’s one in my pants.
I’ll use this to set the mood for the next video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXbXFJxltyo
OK, here ya go:
Cenk Uygur interviews feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte. Buy “Troll Nation: How The Right Became Trump-Worshipping Monsters Set On Rat-F*cking Liberals, America, and Truth Itself”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfR8-d41bFQ
youtube comment gold: At 11 minutes you can hear cats begging for help in the back ground.
Jenk + Mandy? How many orgasms did you have when you saw this?
It was more like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK2_n6CLwhE
Aren’t you too young for ST:TNG?
The Berlin Wall was still up when I was born and the Challenger was still in one piece.
*places hand on Derp’s shoulder*
You could have been my son, if the girls at my high school put out more often.
I came into this world from a broken condom and I’ll be damned if I go out from one.
You kids, get off my lawn!
14 year old me responds thusly:
Screw you, old man!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMX2lPum_pg
That is also not unlike the Glibs editorial process.
I thought you made that up.
Silly me.
Christ, what assholes.
here’s some mental bleach:
a dramatic reading of an Amanda Marcotte column
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcNbv-7sNLw
Yes that does in fact dissolve the mind. It fits a literal definition of mental bleach.
I found a blog listing of all of Marcotte’s run on sentences. I think the winner was 187 words.
She is a proud graduate of the Johann Gambolputty School of Writing.
She’s a schizophrenic.
That is a useful reminder that the Amanduh-style nonsense which is everywhere now has been building for more than a decade.
And in 2016, it exploded like the Yellowstone caldera is predicted to do.
Ya, totally not watching that. I can smell the stench of self righteous smug through my computer screen.
Marcotte?
It’s been a while since we heard from that idiot.
She got married and is a mom, despite previous strident comments.
From the NY Post:
***
Amanda Marcotte, a blogger and mom of one in Middleborough, Mass., is also on Team Choreplay.
“As a working mom, the last thing I want to do when I get home from work, is to do more work, like laundry and dishes,” says the 32-year-old. “If my husband wants a no-questions-asked free pass for sex, he will get it if he checks off those boxes, especially if he does so before he’s asked.”
***
Wiki says she was born in 1977. This might be my clown college education talking, but that would make her 42.
Is she the one who broke through by blogging about going anal with DC swamp creatures?
Shitlord! She is whatever age she identifies as!
And…the comment is no joke, you can in fact hear cats at the 11:00 mark.
If south Florida suddenly sank into the sea, would we organize a huge rescue effort or just quit while we were ahead?
Can we wait until we have a chance to sell my MIL’s place first?
She’s right – Miami not existing in a few years is not realistic.
I just sat on the porch with my aged neighbor. It’s a delightful autumn night, and watched the Foreman v Frazier fight on an iPad, with a decent beer buzz.
Simple things can be nice.
Awesome. These nights are the best.
I have spaghetti sauce and meatballs in the crock pot, ample quantities of red and white wine, and some friends on their way over. I also walked around a festival today and saw some cool arts and crafts (woulda been nice if the lady friend could have come along, but she was at a family function).
I feel like I lived life today.
I shoulda mowed. But I pillaged Meijer instead.
No spoilers.
Is that really a picture of Swiss? I find it very disturbing.
I can’t see Switzy having ink. Must be someone else wearing his pants and hat.
Wasn’t the Festus’ avatar? I can’t see squat at this age.
Snert!
WRT to Eddie- his best song. Fight me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4
Am I the only one who, every time they see an “Eddie has died” reference, thinks that people are talking about the dirty papist involved in the first episode of The Glibbening?
Probably.
I keep hoping they’re talking about Eddie Vedder.
Ouch.
I thought of the Romist too.
“Blessed mother of the papacy!” Is my favorite swear when I stub my toe or splatter hot solder on my hand (and similar sudden pains).
So satisfying since it takes a little time to say, and as a Protestant I don’t find it blasphemous.
Lol
My father was raised Catholic my mother was Protestant I hear there were interesting family interactions prior to the wedding.
I flick the solder on the floor not my hand but I’ve had a few painful moments using a cutting torch while wearing sneakers.
Right on, right on.
If the floor is properly waxed as God intended, the solder flakes come right off later.
I’m about to pull another evening of epic drunkenness. Because my time is limited. Getting ready to release the app of my life, a 3 year life consuming project, on Dec 10th. So I sort of have to be good and I mean fuck it, I do what I want! And the wife is sort of pissed at me for staying drunk for 2 days now…. I mean, I do what I want, shut up woman! … Err, I mean yes maam, oh 5’2″ goddess of thiccness, I be good now.
I bought a 12 of Shiner Bock Oktoberfest. Which is supposedly a Marzen. I have to tell you, it doesn’t taste much like a Marzen to me, but it’s OK.
Also, Greedfall, enjoying it a lot already.
Sierra Nevada and Spaten both make good Marzens. Even the Yuengling one is pretty good.
Ah, Oktoberfest.
♫ It’s the most…wonderful time…of the year….
I noticed it cooling off a little today, I mean from 92 and 60% humidity down into the upper 80s and 50% humidity. But it was actually quite cool this morning, maybe upper 60s. But anyway, I thought it was a good time to get some Octoberfest type beer. It’s not bad…
I’ve had the Spaten, that is pretty good.
Enjoying a Yuengling Black & Tan as I read the comments.
Hell yea, man! That’s MY beer. It’s a great balance between cheap and good.
I also like to dump a bottle of it into my chili, ham & bean stew, beef stew, Welsh rarebit sauce, and all kinds of things.
Excellent, that game popped up on my discovery queue, but I wasn’t too sure on it. It did look really cool though. Glad you’re enjoying it and hope to hear more of your thoughts on it.
If you like RPGs and don’t mind that it’s not AAA big production studio, you might like it. If you like Piranha Byte games, you”ll probably like it. I mean what gaming snobs call ‘Euro Jank’.
If you have a good PC, the visuals are great. the story is good so far. The atmosphere, I love it.
It not being a AAA is no problem for me. And aw, darn, I still gotta get my rig back together again, but I’ll be looking forward to it then.
My gaming rig has decided that it doesn’t want to update to Win 10 1903.
My everything else home desktop went with no issues. And my gaming rig actually has significantly fewer applications.
I had far fewer problems with Windows Vista than I’ve had with Win 10… Quite simply not a fan. If MSFT doesn’t send a update patch in the next month or so that works I’m going to have to go through the pleasure of an OS reinstall. Sigh…
This is actually pretty good beer, but it’s not a Marzen.
Did ya’ll know, this is it this time? Saudi Arabia oil fields attacked. This is it, the big one. $100 a barrel oil. Because no other countries have any oil. Haven’t for a long time.
I hate our media with the passion of 100 million burning suns.
This is the big one! Elizabeth! I’m comin’ for ya baby!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stdi-1tIUhM
Notice I didn’t bother linking to any of that?
Oh fer fuck’s sake. I can’t search the intertoobz.
Saudi Oil Field Drone Attacks
Thoughts? Seems a bit much to me.
https://twitter.com/bbcproms/status/1172981971279958016
Hold still while I give you the antidote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVzBcIXJXTo
[RP accent]
Jolly good. You’ll be right as rain in a couple of days. Rest, plenty of fluids, and if you play football, try to favor the other leg.
Anything else I can *reassure* you about?
Meat grinder. Gotta love the patriarchy.
This too shall pass
Destroying the proms while the entire continent destroys it’s ability to defend itself? Britain is a slave that voluntarily put on fetters by not pushing back on the political class.
This came up in the sidebar from the second video. What is the common thread of almost the entire piece? Europe.
Fuck you if you want us to give again. We already gave.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omd9_FJnerY
Gaddammit. Politicizing the proms? Fuck them completely into oblivion.
“Never will be slaves,” huh?
*gives Britain the side-eye*
Being slaves to Brussels is totes different.
Kinda more thinking about this and this.
Oh, man! They are effing up last Night at the Proms?
Dicks.
The British best stock ended up in America and Australia.
Hey!
OFFS.
I’m reminded of the obligatory rainbow flag at *every single* soccer match in the US. They only do it because they’re all antifa and they think they’re so fucking tolerant and accepting. Assholes.
Why do you hate the gays?
I hate everybody.
Don’t the gays.
Narrow them.
TBF, I do like narrow gays.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/70/d4/49/70d449056ea977bce95d79009afaf05e.jpg
I’d hit it. +1 no visible tatts.
Add a MA accent and reminds me of an asshole I knew in the Guards.
“How you doin’?”
Signaling uber alles.
Speaking of soccer matches.,,
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland-thorns/2019/09/portland-thorns-fans-boo-donald-trump-during-halftime-military-swearing-in-ceremony.html
FFS none of that crap belongs at any sporting event. Get rid of it all.
Bonus points for depriving antifa of some bit of attention.
I agree. On all points.
The rainbow flags were ubiquitous and almost oppressive in Stockholm. I happened to be there during the gay pride week this summer. Sweden is not known to be very nationalistic, so there were not so many Swedish flags around. But the rainbow flags were everywhere in intimidating numbers. Had I not known otherwise, I’d have guessed that it was the national flag.
It’s all so fake. I hate fakeness, more than almost any other human trait.
Most of those people waving that flag would have been waving a swastika in 1940 Berlin. LGBTQ is very much the currently popular thing to signal your love for. It’s not actual tolerance, it is mob psychology and it turns dark as fast as it turns light.
More cringe.
https://twitter.com/ohnoitsdapopo/status/1088191838484348930
Cringe you say?
I have the perfect channel for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7weBjy9P8U
Take a wild guess.
Answer here.
Clearly racist. Are they going to ban courvoisier next?
It’s comically racist and nobody will call them out on it.
They’ve choked out all the critics.
Racist against cocaine users. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is better after several key bumps than a menthol cigarette. Also, what’s with that mustache?
Also the right thing to do
+1 diabeetus
Reminds me of the push to ban malt liquor.
https://www.nytimes.com/1993/04/16/nyregion/for-minority-youths-40-ounces-of-trouble.html
***
For Minority Youths, 40 Ounces of Trouble
By Michel Marriott
April 16, 1993
The start of another “Fri-high-day” in the Bronx: With no questions asked and no proof of age demanded, a 19-year-old walks into a grocery store and buys a 40-ounce bottle of Olde English 800 malt liquor. Rejoining his friends on a stoop across the street, he lifts the fat bottle trumpet-like to his lips and gulps down the brew in loud, foamy swallows.
“It gets you nice,” he says, passing the bottle to an eager friend.
“It gets you pumped up,” adds the next boy. “I feel more comfortable when I’m drinking a 40.”
Malt liquor — essentially beer brewed with sugar for an extra alcoholic kick — has long been popular with black and Hispanic drinkers. But in the outsize 40-ounce bottle, introduced in the late 1980’s with aggressive marketing campaigns aimed at minority drinkers, it is fast becoming the intoxicant of choice for black and Hispanic youths in New York and other American cities.
Some teen-agers call malt liquor “liquid crack” in tribute to its potency. And to the dismay of drug counselors, social workers and ministers who see malt liquor as a dangerous drug in sheep’s clothing, the 40-ounce bottles with brand names like King Cobra, Crazy Horse, Colt 45 and St. Ides have become an accessory to the youth-culture ensemble of baggy clothes, expensive work boots and street-hardened attitudes. “Tap the Bottle,” a new song celebrating the consumption of 40-ounce malt liquor, has become a hit on the rap charts.
The essence of the 40 is its combination of size, power and price. At between $1.25 and $2.50, essentially the same as a quart bottle, and with an alcohol content of 5.6 to 8 percent, compared with 3.5 percent for regular beer, the 40-ounce malt liquor offers more punch for the money.
The brewing companies — which have long been criticized for marketing campaigns that target minority communities — argue that in selling and promoting the 40-ounce malt liquors, they are simply trying to maintain what has always been a crucial market. But to a chorus of critics, the creation and targeted marketing of the 40 is a cynical attempt to take advantage of poor youngsters in search of a cheap high. The results, they say, can be dangerous and occasionally disastrous, not least because of a misimpression that malt liquor is a relatively harmless pleasure.
***
Thanks for the news I can use, Kent Brockman.
There’s more, but I’ll stop there.
The NYT really hasn’t changed, has it.
+1 Negro Cocaine Fiends
+1 Chinamen all look alike (I wish I could find the article – someone posted it on TOS ages ago).
Yeah, that popped up at my main client’s work place. I wasn’t popular. And by not popular, I mean no one was into it. We never heard about it again. Apparently, no one wants a best friend at work, I mean because we’re all over 3 years old.
https://archive.li/V7vYT/d531f86f77bbefafacf55b69a292209921b5b240.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/RWRV7/c397e98392410e6223ea0de660edb01dc6c2280f.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/qwWzJ/104188bdc041cfbc013b70b96f1b77da5ba8dd64.jpg
NSFW.
https://tinyurl.com/y699h2h9
NSFW.
Winner. She’s happy to see me.
I enjoy the titty moles too.
Sultry.
#2 is the winner even with the tatt.
I’m supporting 1 because no one else has. Also, she’s cute.
Thomas Cochrane: Rise of Britain’s Greatest Sea Captain
My 12-year-old scaredy-cat has just discovered the joys of maneuvering her fatbody up on to my desk and walking back and forth in front of my keyboard and nibbling on my arms. I know it’s just a ploy to get food but damn it’s cute.
My cat has decided that he needs to sleep all day, every day under my bed spread. My sheets are like a fur coat.
PS. This cat is an aspy. For ten years, she never so much as gave me time of day let alone licked or nibbled. (My other one would lick me all day if I let her.) It took a while, but I think she’s finally beginning to accept me.
under my bed spread
I occasionally find mine that way. My parents always had cats when I was growing up but they never did that. The first pair that I have on my own and they are weirdos. Tbf they are also have the best temperament and are the most social of any cats I ever had growing up. But my little one (a very petite tuxedo) is quite obnoxious when it comes to wanting to be fed (meowing, nibbling, crawling on me). The weird thing is that she still tries to get me up on the weekends when I go back to bed after feeding them because for some reason I just have to get up because she wants me to. But then she takes a nap during the day whenever she wants. Women…
My namesake has the annoying habit of jumping up on the kitchen island and biting me when I’m doing chores. I give him a pass but he gets a little too demonstrative from time to time. *looks at band-aid on elbow and shakes head ruefully*
Maybe linked already, but from the story it looks like some kids started talking shit to each other and got into fisticuffs. Of course it’s being portrayed as the next Emmett Till.
https://tucson.com/news/local/black-student-beaten-kicked-and-called-n-word-according-to/article_59458abd-2ac1-52d9-9baa-575db581ca65.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=user-share
Related to the downfall of the once proud UK.
https://pjmedia.com/parenting/bbc-tells-kids-people-can-go-to-prison-for-disrespecting-more-than-100-gender-identities/
Sex is easy to determine. M or F*. “Gender” means what you like fucking?
*Statistically unimportant exceptions apply.
Get a load of this Nazi here.
Spoken like Eva Braun.
Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the
waveswokes…wut
https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual_experiences/never-have-i-ever-done-sex-magic.html
Excuse me, I’ll be back in, oh, 30 milliseconds or so….
https://youtu.be/kx3sOqW5zj4
Sex with me is always magical, for me at least.
Not good. Not good at all.
http://archive.li/5Jxmg
God dammit.
Hello, war with Iran!
So fucking predictable.
If those assholes want to go apeshit on each other I could give no fucks but bring our people home before it gets really ugly.
Microsoft salaries leak
Geeez…5 years experience making $185k. Learn to code is right.
The employee data also shows that level, rather than overall experience or time spent working at Microsoft, is the greatest indicator of compensation.
Salary bands, how the fuck do they work?
FFS there are websites where you can easily compare your salary to others by position and location. There is nothing new here except more fucking signalling bullshit.
I’m not really a leader of the Democratic party, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.
Had a Saturday off, I’m usually at work by 5am Saturdays. Figured I’d sleep in until 7 and still have a full day to do stuff. Slept until about quarter after noon. Still managed to take a couple of my sister’s kids to a museum and a beach, but didn’t get anything done around the house like I planned to.
Such is life.
Meh. Off the clock and you had some fun. Sounds like a productive day to me!
There are beaches in Wisconsin?