ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS CONCERNED THAT THE SERIES OF TUBES IS CLOGGED WITH POOR ADVICE. THE CHOSEN ONES MUST NOT BE LED ASTRAY! THEREFOR, ZARDOZ SHALL INSTRUCT – AND SHOW THE ADVICE GIVING BRUTALS WHO IS THE SUPERIOR FORM OF INTELLIGENCE. HINT: IT IS NOT THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVERS. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
Q: Last Saturday was my wedding and it was everything I could have wished for, until the reception. One of my co-workers, “Kim,” started saying I was pregnant because I wasn’t drinking. I kept telling Kim I just don’t drink, something everyone knows. She even teases me about it every week when everyone at the office goes to happy hour at a local pub. I asked her to stop, but she didn’t. By the end of the night, I had guests coming up to congratulate me and my confused husband on our upcoming baby. They were asking when the due date was and what the gender was, and telling me that they had thought I looked pregnant but hadn’t wanted to say anything. Over the course of the night, this rumor had transformed into common knowledge that I was pregnant, no matter how much I tried to deflect it away. My immediate family wanted to know why they were finding out from strangers that I was pregnant.
I feel like my wedding became all about my pregnancy. It turned what was supposed to be a happy memory into something I just feel angry and frustrated about, like something was taken from me. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m so upset about this. I do realize it isn’t the end of the world, but it was my own personal information to share when, and how, I wanted to. I didn’t want my wedding to be about my pregnancy. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with Kim when I get back. For the past six years, I’ve worked for a small office of seven people, and now everyone at work thinks I’m pregnant. I am so mad at Kim I don’t know how I can work with her. Do I have to just suck it up and act like everything is fine? Can I tell my co-workers I’m not doing anything outside of work if Kim comes? Am I overreacting? My husband says I’m not, but I’m fairly sure he’s supposed to say that.
A: WELL WELL WELL, IF ONLY ZARDOZ HAD WARNED YOU THE PENIS WAS EVIL, BECAUSE IT SHOOTS SEEDS THAT CREATE NEW LIFE…OH, WAIT…ZARDOZ HAS. REPEATEDLY! BUT IN SPITE OF YOUR GRIEVOUS ERROR, ZARDOZ WILL INSTRUCT. FIRST – YOU MUST BEGIN COUNTER-RUMOR OPERATIONS AGAINST THIS “KIM”. BEGIN BY WHISPERING THAT SHE CAUGHT A LOATHSOME PENIC-SPREAD DISEASE RIGHT AFTER THE RECEPTION. WHILE SHE IS DISTRACTED BY FENDING OFF THE RUMOR OF HER INFECTION, SABOTAGE HER PROJECTS AND WORK. SOON SHE WILL BE TERMINATED BY YOUR BOSS. THEN HER ONLY CHOICE WILL BE A LIFE OF SERVITUDE TO THE VORTEX.
YOU SHALL SUFFER WITH YOUR DECISION TO BE SHOT FULL OF SEEDS.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: My cousin recently married a lovely girl, someone he’d been dating for a couple of years. Our whole family loves her, and she’s always been very sweet to us.
She’s very intelligent and kind, but the issue is her wardrobe. She’s pretty but refuses to wear nice clothes. Instead she wears baggy, boring clothes. Our family is fashion-conscious, and I know my cousin has suggested to her several times that she buy new clothing — to no avail. He thinks she’s self-conscious about her body.
Her birthday is coming up, and my sister and I would like to take her shopping as a birthday gift to buy her some nicer clothes. My cousin thinks she might not appreciate it, but he agrees that she needs new clothes. He also suggested buying her a gift card to somewhere, although that wouldn’t solve the problem of which clothes she buys with it. Do you think that taking her clothes shopping for her birthday would be appropriate? — FASHIONISTA IN CONNECTICUT
A: ZARDOZ COGITATES THAT THIS ALL HINGES ON YOUR DEFINITION OF “NICE” CLOTHES. HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX WEAR?
NOT THAT OLD CLASSICS CANNOT SERVE ONE WELL;
BUT EITHER WAY, YOUR FAMILY ARE A NOSY AND PUSHY LOT – YOU SHALL BE TARGETED BY THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SORRY, BRUTAL, THAT IS JUST THE WAY OF THE WORLD.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
SPECIAL BONUS ADVICE!
Q: I have noticed a trend in casual customer service workers’ way of speaking. As I’m checking out at the grocery store, the bank or the pizza restaurant, many workers ask, “What are you doing the rest of today?” or “What are you up to today?”
While I’m all for friendly chat, I find this question odd, invasive and a bit rude. I hardly believe that they care about my daily, tedious comings and goings, so really the question is insincere. What is the most kind, polite way to respond?
A: ZARDOZ RECOMMENDS ONE OF TWO ANSWERS – “CLEANSING THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH AS IT ONCE WAS” OR “TAKING YOU INTO GRAIN SLAVERY IN THE SERVICE OF THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX, THANKS FOR ASKING!”
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: I know that the fork goes on the left of the plate and the knife on the right. But what if there is no knife? May I put the fork on the right, since I will presumably be using it with my right hand?
A: ZARDOZ SAYS…LOOK TO THE VORTEX FOR AN EXAMPLE.
IT APPEARS THAT YOU GET A SPOON, A PLATE AND A GLASS. TURN IN YOUR FORKS TO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Comments
492 responses to “ZARDOZ’S FRIDAY NIGHT ADVICE”
All hail Zardoz!
Now I’ll go read the advice.
Suck-up.
Euphemism?
Those were horrible. What’s wrong with people?
People suck.
Lame.
/cleanses Spudalicious
FOR ZARDOZ!
Wow. And I’m the suck up.
Why did the bitch invite Kim to the wedding? And why do I feel like that story never happened?
I can almost guarantee you that happened to someone somewhere. At least once.
So you’re saying it happened to you? :-p
Weeeelllllll
Me and brand-new hubby at ob/gyn…
Doc: So your date of conception was September 7.
Me: No, it’s not.
Doc: Yes, it is.
Me: No, it’s not. Not possible.
Doc: It is very possible, and that is your date of conception.
Me: I didn’t get married until September 14.
Doc: So?
Me: Didn’t happen on September 7.
Doc: Yes, it did!
Me: *dead stare* I got married on September 14. Do the math.
I wanted to see just how long it took for them to figure out what I was saying. It took them a while.
===
In other news, women be bitchez to each other.
In other news, women be bitchez to each other.
Toxic femininity.
“In other news, women be bitchez to each other.”
I’m looking around for my shocked face, but I seem to have misplaced it.
Your winnings, sir.
Shit. I fucked that up. I got married on September 13, not 14.
Happy Anniversary!
Ok anyone who knows the Mojeaux’s screenshot this, any husband would pay through the nose for documentary evidence that his wife forgot their anniversary
Mr. GT and I have two anniversaries every year – one for when we made it legal, one for when we threw the big party. It’s not at all unusual for both of us to forget one or the other. One year, a few days after one of the anniversaries, I remembered and pointed out to him that we’d both forgotten it. Because he is a wise man, he immediately said, “I’m sorry!”
As we have been having a not-so-great a time at our house the last couple of months, our anniversary was no better or worse than any other shitty day we’ve had lately.
So there’s that.
Sorry Mojeaux 🙁
(((((((HUGS!!!))))))
Is that how the kids do it on Facebook?
(Really mean it though!)
@GT, we’ve got three anniversaries… It’s a living hell. Ive forgotten the dates for all three. *shrug*
Maybe in Crown Heights?
Wow! How many divorces in between?
I keed, I keed. First hubby’s brother had something like that – lived in France, so French civil ceremony (the only kind they legally recognize, apparently,) Catholic ceremony, and Hindu ceremony because a Hindu priest friend of theirs (They worked for UNESCO) insisted.
(Third ceremony may have been Buddhist – I forget.)
So, Lack (May I call you Lack?) – how did YOU get to three anniversaries?
Thanks, Jarflax and GT. I didn’t mean to bring the proceedings down or anything. 🙂
As we have been having a not-so-great a time at our house the last couple of months, our anniversary was no better or worse than any other shitty day we’ve had lately.
Sorry.
“You see this shotgun? You see this ring?”
Yeah, but I don’t think that ring will fit around the barrel.
Yeah, they’re a bit silly about those things.
I’m guessing Kim is the father.
*takes notes for next time I get office work*
Srsly, that would require extreme payback.
Dear pretty cousin-in-law: Get out. Now.
Eat with your hands.
“Eat with your hands.”
Dig in there like the Indians did before we spanked their asses and took back the land that was rightfully ours.
-racist ed
I just let my slave girls feed me
Why doesn’t the cousin buy his wife something nice?
Maybe because he is a wise man who doesn’t want to get inn to a crazy fight with his wife for a dumb reason.
I’d love it if my wife wore a burka all the time. Why show off to everyone else what you get to enjoy?
I’ll take her shopping.
https://www.spicylingerie.com/lingeries.html
Wait. Is she pregnant or not?! It sounds like she doesn’t even know.
The rabbit done died, and she can’t even blame it on being drunk. Imma call hoe on this one.
“she’s always been very sweet to us.”
Too bad she married into a family of phony assholes.
OFFS LOL
Maybe the cousin is sick of the rest of your stuck-up family.
Fashionista in Connecticunt.
Head for the hills.
I always interpret those two questions as “If you’re not busy later, let’s bang”.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EE732fIU0AAZKS9.jpg:large
Has this assclown ever played a Canadian?
That’s the new blackface, wearing a mullet wig, concert shirt and Pendelton. Very insensitive!
Canadians
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CHl5hKCWcAAXrlf.jpg
Can confirm.
Fake news. Bottle’s not big enough.
“BREAKING: Walmart will discontinue the sale of e-cigarettes in all of its stores”
https://twitter.com/CNBCnow/status/1175095684665610247
I liked Walmart much better when they were evil capitalists who only cared about money.
They’re gonna get banned everywhere. And probably sooner than later. And if they ever become available again, it will be by prescription only. Just as the statists have always wanted.
It’ll be really interesting when they get classified as drug paraphernalia.
You got a nice filter through which to view the world. Never wrong.
That will totally stop deaths from illegal THC cartridges laced with sketchy chemicals.
Listen, if you have a homeless guy piss in your beer, and you get sick, that’s the beer company’s fault.
Replace the beer with moonshine – and it’s still the beer company’s fault – and you arrive at what we’re seeing here.
It’s fucking madness.
That’s a really good analogy. And you could tell it to every person in the country and they will still get banned.
And it is fucking scary.
You’re all going to die!
https://www.nbc4i.com/news/local-news/franklin-county-public-health-urges-residents-to-immediately-stop-using-vaping-products/
What the hell is going on over at Walmart?
Probably the lawyers
I think the new iteration is: “Wokeness comes before a fall”
Wokeness? Wokness? Awokening? Wokeism? I am not sure what the proper word is.
Mmmm I could go for some wokness.
https://twitter.com/LuwandaJenkins/status/1175129897192316928
Christ, what an asshole.
That’s a cat for you
Why are you assigning gender roles?
That cat could be a cunte.
Cats are non-binary.
If that’s how you feel better for neutering your cat without his consent, all the more power to you.
Why would I neuter him? How else am I going to keep getting kitten furs for my pajamas?
Cats are girls and dogs are boys.
Truth
“Dogs….if they cant eat it or fuck it they are gonna piss on it.”
Yep, checks out.
“Cats and women do as they please, and men and dogs need to get used to it.”
-Heinlein (or something like that)
LOLOLOL
So assuming the weather holds out, I’ve got a solid plan for lunch tomorrow. ~15 miles out, then getting beer and food at one of the harder breweries to find in Cleveland (it’s in a building on a college campus).
Mood.
It’s asshole Statists all the way down.
SHUT THE FU…
No, you’re right.
We need common sense image size control.
Heh, but what exactly does the constitution say about regulating immigration? All I can find is: “To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization,”
The Constitution says nothing about regulating drugs either.
So, open borders but no government benefits until you follow the rules to becoming a citizen?
Becoming a “citizen” is mentioned and gives the government power over it. As far as I can tell.
So the constitution says who can be a citizen, but not a resident? I can get behind that.
The first federal immigration law wasn’t passed until 1875, which banned the immigration of Asian women.
Because homosexuality was very common in those days.
I…protectionism for native prostitution?
After the Yellow Fever Epidemic of 1874?
“Our whores are world class. Really. We have all the best whores and they are so classy we call them “saloon girls”. They are so healthy from walking streets we don’t need any cheap, knock off Asian whores. Hell I hear the ones from Siam have such poor production standards some of them have outies instead of innies.”
Donald U.S. Grant
Our American johns deserve high quality poon, not those faulty Chinese sideways vaginas.
I’m in the Groucho Marx camp concerning club membership.
So, residency is a retained power of the states?
That seems to jibe with my understanding of how citizenship and residence tended to work in those days. People didn’t really move around that much, and there weren’t really any benefits to be had as we understand them today. Besides, record-keeping wasn’t what it is these days, so how would you know someone wasn’t a citizen if they lived in your country and claimed to be one?
I’m not sure I agree with that. Over half of all European immigration to British North America was indentured servitude. Approximately, 250,000 people’s lives were so shitty that they were willing to basically be enslaved for a period of time in exchange for passage overseas.
Sure, but that was over a period of about 150 years, largely, and I wouldn’t think citizenship would have come up since they were going from Britain to a British colony. I don’t have a hell of a lot of background in this topic, but I was always under the impression that your average well-off peasant, for lack of a better term, wouldn’t generally pick up and move from France to Spain, say. And to the extent that it did happen, it wasn’t a particularly formal affair, more of a matter of handing over the dough when the tax collector came by. But like I say, I am by no means an expert in the subject and am going mostly by stuff I’m remembering from history classes long past.
Speaking of indentured servants, this poor guy was dug up near me. I’m not sure where that specific dig was but the general area is around here. For a while they were doing work on a small side street downtown which might have been the same group.
Yep, that’s about it.
Yuo
“This is a super special video to me, I’ve been working on it for a long time. Also b/c amazing people contributed to it”
https://twitter.com/Barbara4u2/status/1175123755624013827
“IF SOCIAL MEDIA GOT DELETED (feat. fellow Youtubers)”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOTa78XflJQ
Last thread….I am too slow. re : music I said the blues were born in the Sahara and didn’t post an example.
tinariwen-le chant des fauves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JFO7Wb-p2A
There is tons of this stuff if you look and it is great
Cool.
I feel it
Plant Paige confirms it.
Hello.
Having one of these. Will probably have another.
A buddy borrowed me his DVD of Yellowbeard. Am looking forward to watching it tonight or tomorrow.
Have a good evening.
Oh man, I remember watching that with my dad when I was a kid! The cast alone makes it worth watching.
I never knew it existed until yesterday. Looking forward to watching it.
follow up with Erik the Viking!!
Having as much of this as I can pound down after a stressful day at the ol’ day job. Appropriately enough, it was a Christmas present (year???) from my boss, who doesn’t know better than to gift someone with wine topped with a screw-off cap. He means well, and it actually doesn’t taste too bad. To me, who doesn’t know better.
If you like how it tastes, then it’s great wine.
Eh, I’ve had some pretty good screw top wines.
Reuinte on ice! Thats nice!
Before my time, friend.
Oh man. That’s a blast from the past.
“We will sell no wine before I sober up.”
Always a hearty LOLOLOL
HAHAHAHA. I vaguely remember him selling wine, but I’ve never seen the whole behind-the-scenes thing. Excellent.
So very, very drunk. Makes me laugh every time.
Yum – Madeline Kahn.
Female friend who I may or may not have a crush on loves that film – her favorite line:
“Do you remember just before you were arrested, we were having a cuddle?”
“I was raping you if that’s what you mean!”
#FruitOfYerLoins
“Prawn of my loins, my foot!”
Oh, so since its the end of summer.
Kick it.
Jesus, That is horrible.
I find myself agreeing with you a lot lately. And it disturbs me.
So you’ve gotten tired of being right?
Fuck no. Don’t be dumb.
Just looking at the anecdotal evidence. *shrug*
Yes, yes. Embrace the power of the Hype-side.
If we’re going end of summer, I’ll go with September. *Will keep linking this until y’all GET IT.
OMG! I finally GET IT!
You hang out at bodegas, don’t you?
Thank you. Also would.
I would have guessed this.
Well, if we’re going with the September theme… (Trigger warning: weaponized link.)
Since this is the last summer weekend we need some more glass bottle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM
That is a fucking great song, I don’t care what anyone says.
The fact that it has 90 million views almost 50 years after it was released pretty much ends the discussion.
Seconded.
What the fuck is wrong with You People?
Nothing
Damn. I was expecting this.
You are about three hours early.
This place needs some class
This is for you.
*Narrows gaze*
Not sorry.
*single tear rolls down cheek*
I don’t mean to hurt you.
But you did
Yer damn right.
Mike wins.
I did not see that coming.
I’m a winner
I’ll get you yet, Mike!
Agreed.
Amazing song.
Lol. This was next.
This was next for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY
A potential Glibs anthem.
Suthen’ turned me on to those guys. Love ’em.
Here’s another good one
Suthen’ turned me on to those guys. Love ’em.
#metoo
Suthen turned you on to guys?
More class
Nice one Tres.
From the comments:
Light Iverson
This is in every black movie after someone dies
3 years ago
2.1K
Ha!
Huh. Now I know where Smith stole the sample from ; it’s a “sample” in the sense that Warren G sampled Michael McDonald.
To circle back to the “summer” theme for anyone here, lurking or otherwise, I just got up & found a link Mr. GT sent me to a thoroughly unique & tasty cover of a beloved standard. He recommended headphones for full sonic appreciation, and I second that.
Speaking of woke – We went to my son’s school open house thing yesterday to hear short presentations from each teacher.
And you will never guess (you totally would) the exciting units they will cover in 10th Grade post-1945 history:
– the Cold War (well, yeah, including the “ideologies of capitalism and communism”)
– South Africa and De-colonization
– Migration
– Israel/Palestine (I figure they have to be at least a little careful with this one, since there are Jewish students at school)
– CLIMATE CHANGE. (like, what the fuck is this even doing in History? Can we not learn some actual history in the history class at least? except it’s some kind of interdisciplinary final project. barf.)
Well, there’s a private school in Los Angeles curriculum, in case you were wondering where all the bullshit at the Climate Strike was coming from, it’s here. Good lord.
I’d be curious to know what the ideologies of capitalism and communism that will be taught.
“Capitalism bad, communism good”
I mean, maybe I’m being unfair and we’ll see, but that’s certainly what I expect.
Though we do have Chinese(-American) kids in the class, and I suspect at least a few of them escaped Mao, so we’ll see how that goes. (haha, “it’s not real socialism!” is my guess, but I have low expectations).
This one star review of Frank Dikötter’s “Mao’s Great Famine” led me to this essay from someone who lived through the Mao years. Earlier today I read the whole essay.
It’s been a long time since I read the Unabomber’s Manifesto. I could easily re-read it as I have a copy lying around here somewhere, but instead I’ll go from memory.
The Unabomber’s Manifesto is less unhinged and more in touch with reality than the above linked essay.
And she encouraged robust disagreement with her positions, right?
Capitalism is not an ideology.
Correct
Sure it is.
I could see either way, honestly.
Capitalism is the natural law stating that if y ou get less from your efforts than you put in to an endeavor you will fail. If you produce more than y ou put into it you come out on top. it is pretty simple. Invest 100 bucks in capital and produce 1000 bucks in value your profit ensures that you survive.
It isn’t an ideology, it is simply the way reality works. Math: Input<output means you have something to eat. Output incentives repeat performances.
The fantasy that we can prosper by looting capital from others and invest it and come out on top is a straight up denial of human nature. Believing it should work because fairness and reasons because it should is an ideology…i.e. magical thinking. Socialism removes the incentive to perform. Initially the looting is good but production grinds to a halt. Eventually the loot runs out and all of the fairness in the world won't feed anyone.
So what’s missing?
Internationally — Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, Ruwanda, . . .
Nationally — the Great Society, the Civil Rights movement, Kent State, the Weathermen, Watergate and it aftermath, the impeachment of Bill, . . .
nothing too important I guess.
I would highly recommend adding “The Moral Case for Fossil Fuels” by Alex Epstein to your kid’s reading list (I’m assuming this is high school or late middle school). It is very readable and would give plenty of ammo to your kid about climate hysteria.
Israel/Palestine (I figure they have to be at least a little careful with this one, since there are Jewish students at school)
For now…
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EE69nJPW4AEiSAS.jpg
so toxic much masculinity
Lol
Weird thing happened today.
The newbies at the office arranged a happy hour, so I attended. A fellow who accepted a position then backed out at the last minute was present. Like why are you here bro?
I play it cool, but he just keeps saying stupid things, like how new York city is the largest city in the world… and then disagreeing with me about where the ghetto is, in a city I grew up in. Go back to where you came from!
A guy who doesn’t work there showed up to your work happy hour? How did he even know?
Went to the same school as the other newbies. I’m not sure if he was invited or just happened to be there and joined them.
It’s an excuse to drink. So obviously not a libertarian.
An excuse to drink? *shakes head* Some people.
Inorite?
You two–get a room.
They’ve become quite an item. I think Mike is in denial.
You two. Sad.
I’m jealous because you and Hype have become BFF’s? I don’t think so. But it’s totes okay.
And tomorrow night? There will be clowns.
Hey, buddy, you heard of New Riff? Saw their bourbon and rye at the liquor store tonight.
Hmm, I hope that makes it to Idaho. Looks interesting.
The bourbon was $40 and the rye was $50. I’ll let you know if I pull the trigger. Maybe they’ll get some 50ml taster bottles.
Looking forward to your review.
“It’s like you don’t even know anything about business.”
“I don’t even work here!”
“I know, and that’s what makes this so difficult.”
“What’s in your briefcase?”
“Crackers”
That’s, um, odd
People, don’t you understand? The child needs a helpin’ hand.
NYC isn’t even the biggest city in North America. The two seconds to look up the list of cities by population on his phone was too much effort?
The funny thing is, both me and another guy who interviewed him were relieved when he backed out. Acted like an asshole during the interview and didn’t know any of the technical questions we asked. But, I wasn’t the one making final decisions…
Yeah but I’ll bet NYC is the world’s largest producer and consumer of artisanal mayonnaise.
You nailed him. He was exactly that annoying. he was talking to one of our black new hires and saying all this annoying shit about how he grew up in a 99.9% white suburb and blah blah blah.
Pot reparations
https://hotair.com/archives/karen-townsend/2019/09/20/beto-lets-pay-reparations-non-violent-marijuana-offenders/
You gotta hand it to that asshole, he just singlehandedly killed any chance for more federal gun control shit.
I wonder how many future “e-cigarette” renegades he will want to put in jail.
Make Kamala pay.
Man, I thought for sure that was a BB article.
So a bunch of C47 / DC-3 flew to Europe for the 75th anniversary of D-Day.
This just hit my YouTube recommendations…
Bruce Dickinson flies our DC-3! | IRON MAIDEN | Plane Savers S2-E8
Excellent!
Thanks for that. I’m gonna be watching more of theirs.
Make sure you turn Kristen on to this!
Most likely to….
https://twitter.com/StephanieHazen/status/1175061910737379329
Shoot up the school?
If were going to have these cursed school shootings, is it wrong of me to hope the next one does it in blackface?
Bang your girlfriend.
This deserves that gorilla gif.
Oh, family involvement matters again in childhood development? Are we allowed to say that? It’s not all down to social disparities of race?
That’s the idea, right? Whatever the racial composition of their stupid advertisement, they’re still advertising responsible parenting to parents. Which seems awfully conservative and therefore regressive. Shouldn’t the ad be about how dirty-clothed Mexican immigrant children are made to squander their precious gifts picking lettuce for the affluent white children of their de facto slave masters? Their dirty, dusty clothes couldn’t possibly qualify any Mexican immigrant child for an education, unlike the clean-clothed immaculately white children, thanks to quality LG machines.
Nope, they’re giving the machines to schools so the teachers can wash the clothes of children who have irresponsible parts.
Mornin’, Lack! Still curious how you got to three wedding anniversaries per annum, if you’d care to share.
TFW, you miss two-hour Castro speeches
“Four and a half hours
Devoted to LGBTQ issues”
https://twitter.com/jenniferm_q/status/1174836228539240448
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/politics/cnn-lgbtq-town-hall/index.html
“Bash was married to former CIA Chief of Staff Jeremy Bash from 1998 to 2007. In 2008 she married fellow CNN correspondent John King.”
That doesn’t sound very L.
There is not enough Mexican ass-sex in the world you could provide that would get me to watch that.
4 hour Dem townhall on LGBTQ issues? What is this Gay conversion therapy aversion style?
I don’t want to see any of those people have sex.
Butt it’s for the people.
If you think you’re going to be making new people like that you are doing it wrong.
Will Tulsi be there? Perhaps with a guest appearance by Kyrsten Sinema? Because I could, perhaps, get behind that.
“Scottish Man Punished for FARTING at Cops During Strip Search
A Scottish man was on trial for farting three times during a strip search.
Police had conducted a search after the man was found with marijuana.
Police say the man smelled strongly of the drug as he was chatting to a man in a parked vehicle.
Stuart Cook, 28, had become irate when police officers told him that he would be searched.
Cook told the police “how do you like that” as he farted in their direction.
When Cook was handcuffed, his temper worsened.
Depute fiscal Lucy Simpson said Cook “deliberately farted in the direction of the officer three times, stating, ‘how do you like that?’”
Cook, from Aberdeen, Scotland, previously pleaded guilty to possession of cannabis and to behaving in a threatening or abusive manner by shouting and screaming aggressively, displaying aggressive body language, making a lewd remark towards police and “intentionally flatulating” in the direction of police.”
https://nationalfile.com/scottish-man-punished-for-farting-at-cops-during-strip-search/
Huh, sounds to me like he’s French.
The link you forgot
That’s what I like about the Glibs. Always willing to lend a helping hand.
I believe it should be this link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXm8JdC4k4c
Well, that’s going in my Cuntes and Cods playlist.
Ok that is awesome, but if the Pipey had looked like that and played, it would have been a claymore not farts.
I’ve watched that video altogether too many times for some reason.
Now I’ve got to download that for my kettlebell workout
You get cuffed and strip searched for pot in the UK?
If farting is outlawed, only outlaws will fart.
We need common sense fart control.
It’s part puff the green new deal.
Scots wa hae!
My People!
Boise State up 10-7 against Air Force.
Holy fuck. Will the Refs just let these kids play (Utah vs USC)
I can’t hep maself.
https://twitter.com/stopchrissy/status/1174716920802811911
I like her name – saßy!
If I had to see this…
https://twitter.com/SLIMMZILLA772/status/1175186995032854533
You’re a dick.
So did everybody else?
By the way, to answer your usual question. No, not even th
“Look at my plain old average body!”
“Ze goggles! Zey do NOTHING!!!”
BUT EITHER WAY, YOUR FAMILY ARE A NOSY AND PUSHY LOT – YOU SHALL BE TARGETED BY THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SORRY, BRUTAL, THAT IS JUST THE WAY OF THE WORLD.
This is an excellent decision.
Q: I have noticed a trend in casual customer service workers’ way of speaking. As I’m checking out at the grocery store, the bank or the pizza restaurant, many workers ask, “What are you doing the rest of today?” or “What are you up to today?”
While I’m all for friendly chat, I find this question odd, invasive and a bit rude. I hardly believe that they care about my daily, tedious comings and goings, so really the question is insincere. What is the most kind, polite way to respond?
A: ZARDOZ RECOMMENDS ONE OF TWO ANSWERS – “CLEANSING THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH AS IT ONCE WAS” OR “TAKING YOU INTO GRAIN SLAVERY IN THE SERVICE OF THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX, THANKS FOR ASKING!”
Strange pick-up lines.
Kinda sounds like she had a memorable sitcom wedding rather than a VHS tape shoved to the back of the tape drawer wedding.
Reposting this just to continue the theme https://youtu.be/pMKSbmcuG0o
Female serial killers are victims.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mbm3j4/how-serial-killer-aileen-wuornos-became-a-cult-hero
Charlize Theron was in a movie about her. Monster.
That article didn’t mention that once, which makes me wonder where that article writer has been that she missed it. Shoddy workmanship, fr.
Jeeminy, even I knew that, and we almost never go to movies. Unless there are Minions involved.
RIGHT?!
Like “lesbian sex worker walking Florida highways” is all you need to know Monster, and everybody knows it because Charlize Theron got an award for being brave enough to get uglified.
That character was evil enough to have Minions, but NOOOOO!!! We woulda gone to see that movie if she’d had Minions.
Maybe in Monster 2 she will.
In Monster 2, will she be giving Satan 50c blow jobs?
No, but the Minions will.
Oh that’s ADORBS!
Heh. Wifey went on a crocheting binge a couple of years ago. Every kid within sniffing distance was running around wearing minion hats. She even sold a fair number just by word of mouth. They were pretty adorable.
That’s one thing about Woke Bloggers — they’re all 25 and they know NOTHING about anything. That’s how we get woke takes about how “Black Panther is the First Black Superhero movie!” As much as ordinary educated people bemoan that they know nothing about, say, the Cold War – they don’t know anything that’s not endlessly repeated or notstalgia-fied (like, say, something on Stranger Things), so they think it didn’t happen. Then they’re too lazy to even look it up, they just think they’re right.
It’s not like they have to go to the library for the encyclopedia selection.
As someone who actually used to enjoy old style paper book research I am occasionally sad at how easy it is now. Then I remember that now I can find the actual quote, fact, date, or whatever in real time, while actually having the argument, not 6 weeks later.
I used to fisk people’s rants on Usenet all the time. It was easier to do when you could have bona fide sources. If you’re fighting a leftie, you don’t use rightie sites, right? So I got in a tiff with somebody who said only the poor pay taxes. I go to the IRS website that directly contradicts that, and she STILL doesn’t take it for the right answer. Whatevs.
But NOW, I can’t verify anything because fake news and skewed data and suchlike.
Also, people don’t like being told they’re wrong and they aren’t going to listen to me anyway.
Also, I am old and have very little patience.
Also, people are stupid.
So I stopped doing that.
No argument here! I mean that literally. If people want to spout gibberish and it doesn’t directly affect me or mine then I just keep my fool mouth shut and seethe. Much less drama is a “Good Thing” when you reach middle age. Nihilism does have its upside.
Someone is wrong on the Internet!
And it’s life-threatening!!!
If they choose to be stupid it doesn’t cost me anything. Unfortunately, if a whole lot of them choose to be stupid in the same, exact way it could affect me in the long run. I just hope Darwin kicks in before it gets too nasty for the rest of us.
“”This woman was a lesbian sex worker who k*lled a client who she thought her life was threatened by,” Love told VICE. For Love, Cardi’s callback to Wuornos sent a powerful message—especially in light of the rapper’s own experiences working as a stripper as a young woman, often facing threats to her own safety from dangerous clients. “Aileen is bad-ass, and so is Cardi,” Love said.”
Didn’t Cardi drug and rob people?
Would someone please STOP THE BREWERS??? The baseball team – not the beermakers. Blessed are the beermakers.
“Chris Brown angers fans with thirsty comment on Rihanna’s Instagram”
https://pagesix.com/2019/09/20/chris-brown-angers-fans-with-thirsty-comment-on-rihannas-instagram/
I’d hit that.
Ugh, no.
Oh, wait. We’re not talking about Chris Brown, are we.
Well, not really, but he did hit her.
thatsthejoke.jpg
Anyway, here is your wokness:
https://twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/1175034118364684288
Shit, my kid just gets on his bike and heads to McDonald’s.
loldorable
Tot’s a Lefty, too!
Parents probably work in factories and so they taught big brother to make lunch for the kids while Mommy is at work.
For all you cargo shorts haters:
(I’ll save you the trip to the Bee and paste the whole story)
Family Gonna Be Sorry When They Want Some Trail Mix From Dad’s Cargo Shorts They Just Made Fun Of
Who talks like that?
Who talks like that?!
Ted.
I’m in my 50’s. I wear cargo short. GFY.
Fucking right.
We have so much in common, Spud.
Spus, Spud, Spud, game over man I’m MikeS bestie now, cargo short aren’t gonna change that. You lost man, but hey, Tundra seems into you maybe you and him can be a thing.
Well, at least Tundra is right most of the time.
*fishes flask out of cargo shorts pocket and passes it to Spud*
*deep pull, high fives Tundra*
HELLO? Pineapple on pizza???????
I’ve got cargo speedos.
“Oh, my!”
Got a lot of room to spare in those britches?
I…what?…uhh…
#metoo
They’re in the rotation.
You always forget some weird shit you pocketed in your cargo shorts, like the time I stuck my hand down my cargo shorts pocket and forgot it there, and now I’m a one-handed freak, you insensitive asshole.
That wasn’t the pocket.
It’s true. I’ve been secretly masturbating myself through a hole I cut in the inseam of my pants.
Sadly, my dick was cut off and apparently I grew some sort of appendage devouring maintenance shaft invented by Mojeaux. Imagine her surprise.
“cod”
Dude, it’s “cod” now.
IDON’TGETYOURMEME
I leave for like a month and you’re all talking nonsense.
Did you not read my smut?
I read the very interesting romance novel blurb, but I don’t understand why “cunte” is a thing now. Explain it for someone who is very horny, but, you know… a little bashful.
I retract my former complaint and apologize. I acknowledge your clear precedence in this area, and tender my… whatever the word it is for resigning myself from an entire situation.
It is set in 1420.
According to my research, the vagina was then mostly only called a “cunt,” and was spelled with a silent “e” at the end, hence, “cunte.”
Also according to my research, I had very few names for penis to use. One is “spindle,” the other is “cod.” The hero uses the word “cod” and the heroine uses the word “spindle.”
And so, after someone said, “Link me to the dirty parts!” I linked Chapter 18, and now cunte and cod is a thing.
I should have stayed quiet and let the poets speak.
Why do you have kindergarten Mentok, the Mind-Taker, as your avatar?
I’m being oppressed!
?
Yes, that would be Mike, but I didn’t want to embarrass him or anything…
Given what I learned here recently about “flicking the bean,” it lends a whole new meaning to the old toast, “Here’s to dear old Boston, the home of the bean and the cod…”
That is….poetic
Bravissima!
*curtsies deeply*
Thank you! Thank you!
https://youtu.be/mJYtJs_PkKE
Nature’s pocket.
“Diminutive porn star “Bridget the Midget” was reportedly arrested for stabbing her boyfriend in the leg during a fight at the couple’s Las Vegas home.
A neighbor of the adult-film star, whose real name is Bridget Powers, heard the two quarreling early Wednesday and called the cops, according to TMZ.”
https://nypost.com/2019/09/18/porn-star-bridget-the-midget-arrested-for-stabbing-boyfriend/
It sounds like she has a short temper.
*snortlaff*
Stabbed in the leg…..of course
How I picture the “quarrel” https://youtu.be/vt2E3F4xlWo
I was kinda thinking…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LxDWSYgiUc
The Digster! Making comments…
Ready for tomorrow’s post?
Depends upon alcohol intake and whether or not I actually get anything done around here. But yeah, I’ll be there, bleary of eye and clouded of mind, just the same as downtown.
I could be wrong but I believe that the second chapter of my travels is going up tomorrow morning (US time).
Yay!
I believe you are correct
Damn. I might have to go to bed early to make it in on time.
You are correct.
LOVE THAT MOVIE!
“If you’re wondering what’s gong on in #WestPapua, here’s an Honest Government Ad. Right now, the Indonesian Govt has blocked the Internet and is sending in military to quash massive protests against their occupation. West Papuans are demanding a referendum @FreeWestPapua”
https://twitter.com/thejuicemedia/status/1164311133768962049
That was pretty great, truth be told.
Seconded. Also, would. Very much would.
Boise up in the third, 17-13.
Upstairs Downstairs is enchanting.
I don’t want to sound like a dick or nuthin’
Fuck you, fuck off, and go fuck yourself.
You’ve changed over the years.
I blame it on not enough sugar in his diet.
That hurts from you, most of all. I get it, I don’t dispute it, but it hurts.
I had to slog through all that Brit-porn when I was a tad. Upstairs Downstairs, The Oneidan Line, etc. I, Claudius is the tits, though.
I am genuinely interested in your British porn. What made it a thing where you grew up? Why? what reaction did you have toward it? How should I document these exchanges?
Having only one channel will do that. We were a very literate family and Mother liked to put on airs so even if the product was lackluster she’d still watch it for a feeling of superiority over her cohort. Basically a NPR listener that turns it up too loud in the next cubicle. The Brit-porn was just a throwaway funny.
Boise 27-13.
One more from the Big Star sidebar
And no, none of the covers can touch it. Even the ‘Mats.
Still a Mighty Lemon Drops song in my head. *shrug*
Huh. I kinda liked that one. Sometimes you surprise me, Friend Tundra!
Who would you say is the father of: Due process, presumption of innocence, freedom of association, freedom of speech? If you could stick a name to each one (and not just say “English common law” or “Roman/Islamic law) who would you choose.?
H… is it HItler?
You’re kind of helping.
Stephen Langton is a possibility
Quick google of that and, yep, that’s what I’m talking about.
I was told that there wouldn’t be any math on this thread.
It’s a shitty question, but do you go with Voltaire, Montesquieu, JSM? That’s the kind of thing I was going for.
Presumption of innocence: Julius Paulus Prudentissimus, Roman jurist
Due process: Stephen Langton, archbishop of Canterbury that drafted the Magna Carta
Freedom of association: John Stuart Mill, British philosopher
Freedom of speech: Athenian democracy, probably Solon but records are sparse on who came up with what principles
That list is awfully..uh…white. Seriously though, thanks. Give you guys a h/t when I finish this submission.
Well, they are all western concepts. You can find parallels to due process and presumption of innocence in Chinese law prior to western influence, but they aren’t exact matches. Presumption of innocence coming from Confucianism’s assertion that people are inherently good, and Chinese legalism that applied to all levels of society, placing even the emperors under the law. Inherent rights of the individual don’t really have strong parallels outside of the west as far as I’m aware though.
Pat Henry, Tommy Jefferson, and Tom Paine would be by America answers, But really you could probably say the Frenchies that preceded them a bit and Adam Smith and Locke.
Giving some special mention to Bastiat as the bestest Frenchie.
Due process Joseph Story
presumption of innocence W. J. Estelle, Jr.
freedom of association John Howard Ferguson
freedom of speech Oliver Wendell Holmes
Boise takes down Air Force 30-19. Don can suck it.
For the record – Juniper’s SNMP implementation sucks balls. It’s all too easy to pin the CPU just querying the interface table. All the Cisco devices return in about a second, but Juniper takes 30 seconds and the CPU shoots right up.
/grumble
I was just thinking the same thing
/slowly backs out of the room
The suckitude of equipment is Tolstoyesq.
FIFY
This moment of sanity already discussed? TW: TOS
That moment when the clouds part on a dreary day and beam of sunlight shines down upon the meadow.
Wow, good win there. It’s crazy that that is what it has come to. We know it here, judges are sacred beings that cannot be held to the standards of mere mortals. The story there focuses on the free speech issues, I wonder what the guy thought his wife was doing wrong with their kid.
That’s the salient point that the story elided. They set this up as a Man vs. Machine scenario but failed to give the reader any background regarding the case. Maybe he was an abusive asshole and she was a meth head. Who knows? I’ll take the win for the reaffirmation of the First Amendment on its own merits.
Agreed. I’d like to hear more about that case though.
While it’s cool that the jury only needed 26+ minutes, it still seems a bit long. But good for him. That shit like that happens in the USofA is scary as hell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xojO-4VFPw
It took a while, but I finally managed to fap to that.
https://youtu.be/W45DRy7M1no?t=143
I take a few days off to concentrate on work and someone has used the Ludovico Technique on Q – these are not the Q links I am accustomed to.
https://archive.li/BN4Eh/ec8fc91b7c532c76923850e256ccb49e47b4cf27.jpg
NSFW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7RgN9ijwE4
https://archive.li/eZ0cE/1bb122db51b76951761116995ab26414f421468a.jpg
NSFW.
Just dirty. No one has a dream that you just, you wis, you jus, you wis, you just
Ah. She seems a favorite of old Q!
Reminds me of this guy https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4
Sad. I expect Q to be the lead pallbearer.
https://nypost.com/2019/09/18/porn-star-jessica-jaymes-found-dead-at-california-home/
Sad, but the part where “her partner in the studio Spizoo” gave me pause…
I wonder what the life expectancy for a porn star is.
Late nite fun track. Beat the bongo.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6uC26Z-VgNw
Thx. That is fun.
Transported back to 1977 and every TV theme song. Cool!
I’m a big fan of old school detective and spy movie music fan.
And drinking a large amount of beer on a Friday nite.
Flagons of ale!
+1 The Spy Who Loved Me
https://youtu.be/WY-Z6wm6TMQ
I like SugerHill’s version better.
Straight from Gustave’s fingers: https://youtu.be/KN_hSOaeFwo
Something different, but I think incredibly beautiful.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WOrHUNRNAWI
Wait, doing a Gandhi impression is blackface?
https://youtu.be/PeCHINs9pr0
See! We can “Elizabeth” just as well or better than you Yanks! Prim, scolding, judgmental, dried-up old librarian is the music that unites us in these troubled times. Have a Coke and a smile!
https://youtu.be/NFIoIdr5fUg
I never used to dig Asian chicks that much but you guys have embedded a mind-worm. Now I want a hot Japanese bride that surfs, types and drinks Coca -Cola all at the same time! Damn you Glibertarians! Damn you to Hell! *shakes fist at laptop*
OK, Festus–I’m claiming all the English/Celtic ladies, then.
You rang?
(Bats eyelashes innocently)
heh
Fuck that noise! The Gingers are mine! Of course Yusef gets a slice because he’s a contributor. Oh wait, you get some too. Hmmm. Ya know, a man only needs one red-head in his life so there might be enough to go around for everybody. Win/win!
Only one?
I can totes live with that.
::brushes hair, looks at Hayek::
How you doin’?
A man can’t have more than one redhead in his life st once because they/ we would fight each other to the death , Celtic style .
I’m doin good ovah here. How you doin?
Oh, I’m Celt free, at the moment!
And, I’m thinking late night is looking brighter
You flirty cock-blocker you…
Am I gonna have to come up with a new avatar/screen name combo?
Sir Digby: Blocker of Cocks
Yes! You have the funniest avatars and screen names. Now just show the nice lady where the clown touched you…
Well, if/when she asks, I will oblige.
I have behave in order to keep the “Sir”
And she’s still pretty MIRFy today
https://youtu.be/zVmBF6p5hh4
I wouldn’t mind Dining with the Chef, IYKWIM.
Londonbeat > English Beat
https://youtu.be/mOYZaiDZ7BM
25 years later. When will they apologize for their bigoted music video? Meanwhile, I’m going to watch the Swedish Bikini Team.
*sniffs* I find that video very problematic. *adjusts junk and spits tabaccy juice on your foot*
Oy vey. “Problematic” is now the equivalent of pearl clutching “being offended”
Yeah let me give you something to be offended about!!
::waits patiently::
Um…bend over and I’ll show ya?
(I got nuthin)
Weeeell…I wouldn’t call it “nuthin”
https://youtu.be/LiTU0j-UYM0
Oh, Digby… *studio laugh track*
Whaaaaat?!
It’s ridiculous. I can’t offend you unless you take offense. Sadly, everyone wants to climb the grievance totem pole until there is but one Monkey-Eagle standing atop, hooting and screeching about its new-found powers.
“Monkey-eagle” was my nickname in college. How’d you know?
/go college sports team!
That would make for a great logo. Shame that my artistic ability dried up faster than the Salton Sea.
I wonder what the Latin phrase would be for “Do Not Stand Under Me”…
You are responsible for how I feel! I have no agency or free will! Please, lefties, give me a pacifier and binky and tuck me in!
::gets ready; re-reads post::
Aww…”lefties”?!? Dammit….
Well I do suppose it could be open to interpretation… but then wouldn’t I hypothetically be tucking you in?
I’ll read that whichever way I deem fit, young lady! *peers down the hallway and locks door*
I….well….it….ummm
Can I just choose “Yes, please”?
I….well….it….ummm
Can I just choose “Yes, please”?
Did I just blank that blankin’ reply?
Blank….
Ding ding ding!! We have a winner.
You owe me one good “tucking in” but you gotta buy me dinner first.
Alriiiight–Arby’s tonight!
/Kidding! I’m kidding. Maybe.
Problematic is like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.
No, that’s not the word. What IS that word? Another “-ic” word, but shorter… Heroic? Erotic?
You guys still up? I’m just getting to happy hour. Gin tonics for ¥280.
What is that, like, $20?
/I know, I know…
What kind of furriner currency is that???
About ten thousand loonies, I’d venture.
#TyreDollars
Three fifty, as Chef’s parents can attest.
Twenty bucks, same as downtown.
Poor Chef.
Xenu comin’.
/did i do that right?
Yeah, we’re here and being just a little saucy. Come on in to the hot tub, it’s oh so warm and comforting!
Yeah–jump on in. Just, mind the sauce.
Sprinkled a little corn starch in the Human Soup, did we?
#1 “Dick Cappuccino”
In all seriousness I would love a hot tub right now, especially the ones that have the back massage jets.
My poor back aches And it makes me happy even just to imagine it!!
After all the imagination, done stuff doesn’t match in reality.
Well, whaaaa!
Suck it up, rub some dirt on it, move on.
::looks at bottle of oil, hides it behind back, slinks away::
OK, this makes me sad.
Someone get this woman a Jacuzzi, stat!
Glibs aren’t allowed the luxury of sympathy.
(Smack!!)
Glibs don’t “smack”, they “snark”. One hurts for a moment and the other is like a brand.
Smack, you say?
https://youtu.be/tNKQBJZ8dOY?t=209
That’s about right.
It’s difficult to pick a fave Mel Brooks film, but High Anxiety is mine.
Used to love the hot-tub after sportsball. Just can’t bring meself to crawl in there with other people, nowadays. It was really great apres ski.
OK, I’ve just given myself the giggles over the Arby’s comment.
“Would madame prefer the Arby’s Sauce, or, the Horsey Sauce?”
The coffee’s getting to me.
Do they drape a thin paper napkin over their firearms as they place your plastic meal tray before you?
And also, before the waiter gets to “Is Pepsi Ok?” when you order a Coke.
No. No. Pepsi is never ok. Bring me tap water.
As long as it’s not Sierra Mist, I’m OK.
Then again, I can’t really do sodas much any more, so, they better have some non-Nestea tea
Also: The best cola in existence
https://www.amazon.com/Havana-Cola-Glass-Bottle-Pack/dp/B01NAAJPSR
Well, looks like I killed yet another thread.
Dang.
For you, kind sir https://youtu.be/Yop62wQH498
But, it’s today!
Festus, I apologize….
S’okay! *wipes snot from nose and hiccups noisily*
You guys/gals still up?
I walked away when things seemed to be slowing down. but ya’ll were just lurking I guess.
I’m still here but seem to be the most boring of the bunch unless you’d like to be regaled with stories of bush parties long past. Going to hit the hay soon. We were at a pit party one time and my Brother was so obnoxious that when he bounced out of the truck bed after we’d slung him in there after he passed out we didn’t even bother to go back to look for him. He showed up at home with no shoes and one sock on his foot. Yay for being teen-aged drunkards?
I’m picking up dinner from a local Nepalese place. Had a beer and some wine with the Mrs.
I’ll be off-line for a while until I get the kids bathed and to bed.
I have been awake all night, but wasn’t on Glibs.
I need to fix my sleep schedule, since being awake at night doesn’t help me get to my day job.
Mornin’, UCS! I drank copious (for me) amounts of wine last night and stayed up WAY later than I usually do on a Friday, but I still woke up at the usual time, dammit! Little opportunity for an afternoon nap, too, since Mr. GT and friends have an early evening “Halfway to St. Patrick’s Day” gig at our favorite local winery. (More wine! Yipee!) It’s on to copious amounts of caffeine fer me, I guess. Got a lot of reading to do!
Well, enjoy.
Puking over the tailgate of one friend of a friend’s mint ’68 El Camino for sixty miles was a low-light for Festus. I’d pop up from under the tarp and the following traffic would slow down just enough so that they didn’t get any on them. Went to school the next day, too. I’ve got a million of them.
I look back at my past actions and it is nothing but a chapbook of shame and regret. Would I change anything? Fucking right! Can I change it? Sadly, no.
Just stumbled across a previously undiscovered version of one of my favorite audio antidepressants. Consider it your morning pick-me-up.
Morning pick-up
Nice song. I’m wearing that same outfit today. Accentuates my stone head.
Fun! My only quibble: not a fan of collar erections.
Better https://youtu.be/yqylkpnS3CI
How can Kellyane Conway stay married to her husband???
I can get them personally disagreeing over dinner about Trump. Probably many “house divided” out there.
But her career and brand is based on her work for Trump, and this dude actively undermines her??!! Is he just jealous that she is successful without her whiny bitch husband???
What a douche.
Not familiar with the situation, but #AStarisBorn? (And no, haven’t seen the latest remake either. I don’t get out much. ***SIGH!***)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Kelly-Anne was a firecracker about forty years ago. Just like people giving Sarah Palin shit for being 55 years old. God forbid I become a widower but I’ll be the King of the old folks home.
My previous FIL (with the first Mr. GT) held that title near the end of his life.
So hope springs eternal? Just kidding, I’m a very traditional man but ventures on Facestalk and sundry reunions have left a skewed taste in my mouth.
Euphemism?
Pretty much. Lonely divorcees don’t seem to have boundaries. I’ve got boundaries in spades.
You’ll probably have to beat the widows in The Home off with a stick. (Not a euphemism.)
Waggles eyebrows and various and sundry accoutrement…
“he just jealous that she is successful without her whiny bitch husband???”
“What a douche.”
Yes. Yes.
Dude better rein in that noise before she gets an idea to upgrade.
*hops in time machine and becomes 19 year-old Festus, laboring in the hot sun as a groundskeeper* The script writes itself!