ZARDOZ SPEAKS…TO THE ASSEMBLED STAFF. ZED, WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO BRING BAGELS AND COFFEE?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS UNCERTAIN COGITATIONS RUNNING AROUND HIS CIRCUITRY. YEAR END REVIEWS HAVE BEEN HELD. ZARDOZ GETS THE FEELING A PAPER TRAIL IS BEING CREATED AGAINST HIM! THE QUESTIONING FROM THE GLIBERTARIAN POWERS THAT BE WAS MOST INTENSE. “WE SPENT $285,000 ON GREEN BREAD?!” “CAN’T YOU JUST USE THE IN-HOUSE HR PEOPLE TO RECRUIT BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS?” THIS IS NOT THE WORST OF IT – ONE OF THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAS REPORTED TO ZARDOZ THAT INTERVIEWS ARE SURREPTITIOUSLY BEING HELD FOR AN UNNAMED POSITION.
THEREFOR, ZARDOZ SHALL PROVE HIS WORTH BY GIVING THE CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE LINK…AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT! OH, AND DO YOU WELL TO REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD!
Q: My neighborhood grocery store has recently begun featuring a guitar-playing singer during busier shopping times. His makeshift stage is just by the door, so one is in his field of vision upon entering and exiting the store, as well as while browsing the produce.
While the songs aren’t offensive, loud or bothersome in any way, I find the whole arrangement awkward and generally try to avoid eye contact. Am I being rude? How should one respond to a live entertainer when shopping for necessaries?
A: WEAKLING! IF THE MERE PRESENCE OF A MUSICAL BRUTAL WHILST SHOPPING PUTS YOU OFF THIS MUCH, HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALS, WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH?GRANTED, A GUITAR PLAYER IN THE PRODUCE SECTION MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS A PAN FLUTE PLAYER IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR’S ARMORY. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ WILL SOLVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS AT ONCE.
LET US SEE…WHINER, STORE MANAGER AND MUSICIAN. ALL PRESENT AND GATHERING GRAIN.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAVE BEEN RECRUITING – AND ZARDOZ WOULD HAVE THE OPINION OF THE CHOSEN ONES, ON A NEW RECRUIT…APPARENTLY ANYONE WHO CROSSES THIS PERSON ENDS UP CLEANSED.
ZARDOZ BELIEVES THE TWO ROUNDED FACE POUCHES HOLD EXTRA AMMUNITION!
PLEASE INFORM ZARDOZ OF YOUR COGITATIONS ON THIS IN THE COMMENTS. AS A REWARD FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE….ZARDOZ GIVES THE DUAL GIFT OF LINKS AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT.
IF ZARDOZ COULD WEEP…OR WAS SO INCLINED, EVER… THE TRAVAILS OF THIS POOR BRUTAL WOULD BRING A LITHOID TEAR TO ZARDOZ’S CHEEK.
ZARDOZ WISHES HIS CIRCUITS WOULD ALLOW FOR LAUGHTER. THIS INSPIRES THE DESIRE FOR MIRTH CIRCUITRY.
YOU MAY ASK WHY ZARDOZ WISHES THE FILTH OF BRUTALITY CLEANSED FROM THE EARTH? OBSERVE THIS.
AND NOW THE CHOSEN ONES RECEIVE ADVICE ON MANNERS. GO FORTH AND ETIQUETTE!
Q: I host all holiday celebrations. This is because I have the space and the cooking skills, and for the most part, I enjoy spending time with family and friends and preparing a huge, elegant meal for them. With one exception, the crowd seated around the table always seems to enjoy the feast very much.
However, we have one family member, an older woman, who acts like a spoiled toddler at the table: making faces, gagging and spitting out any food that is not to her taste, then loudly announcing the specific reasons she does not care for the food, and what I should have made instead. She has even gone as far as to remove family favorites from the table, throwing plates full of food in the trash, yelling that she is protecting everybody else from being made ill by that horrible slop!
What she does like are instant foods and canned goods that are doctored up with sugar, garlic, prepackaged seasoning mixes and sometimes bacon. I cook from scratch and have a lighter hand with the seasonings. I try to make sure there are things on the table that she will eat, but she is the only one who wants that stuff, which also makes her very angry. Otherwise, I do my best to ignore the insulting and childish behavior.
My immediate family and I have had a terrible year, full of grief, stress, physical pain and illness, with more troubles on the horizon. I am having difficulty dealing with this extended family member’s outspokenness at times that are not so emotionally loaded as holiday celebrations, and have, on a couple occasions, snapped at her. If it were possible to be out of town for the holidays to avoid the unpleasantness, that is exactly what we would do, but we have obligations at home.
How do I keep my temper in check and create some boundaries while still being a good hostess? Do I somehow find the energy to cook her a big, separate meal in an attempt to keep the peace? Do I do it her way to shut her up, and let everybody else complain? Do I suggest that she go to the Asian restaurant down the road, the only business open over the holidays, if she cannot eat what is on my table? Do I confront her about her behavior? If so, how do I do it in a way that does not make others uncomfortable?
I need a plan, or I am afraid I will be unable to keep from sharing a few honest opinions of my own, and things will get ugly!
A: ZARDOZ SAYS, IF GREEN BREAD AND GOBLETS OF WATER ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE ETERNALS, THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WHINY, DRAMATIC AND SENILE RELATIVE.
“Someone shut Aunt Millie up about the bread!”
UPON FURTHER COGITATION, PERHAPS SHE SUFFERS FROM IGNORANCE OF HOW MUCH WORK GOES INTO THE PREPARATION OF SUCH FOOD. ZARDOZ CAN HAVE HER EDUCATED FROM FARM…
“You missed one…”
TO TABLE…
Mmmmm…. green!
Is this non-GMO, Gluten-free, Fair Trade green bread?
SO A GOOD ROUND OF GRAIN, BAKERY AND DELIVERY SLAVERY WILL SHUT GRANNY UP.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AS THE YEAR END DRAWS NEAR, WE IN THE VORTEX REVIEW OUR PLANS FROM THE PAST YEAR. THE RESULTS ARE…MIXED. SOME FAILURES, AND ONE PROMISING FUTURE STRATEGY. GO FORTH AND ANALYZE!
NOT GOOD ENOUGH (LEADING TO THE AGING OF THE ETERNAL WHO PROPOSED IT):
FAIL.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE REPTILES, AT LEAST MAKE SURE THEY ARE VENOMOUS. ALSO, NOT IN COLD CLIMATES. FAIL.
FISH-BRUTAL HYBRIDS ARE INTRIGUING, BUT THIS IN NO WAY LEAD TO ANY CLEANSING OF THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. FAIL.
ZARDOZ THINKS THAT DISRUPTING MEDICAL CARE FOR BRUTALS MAY BE A BETTER APPROACH (THIS EARNED EXTRA GREEN BREAD FOR THE ETERNALS WHO BACKED THIS)
DELIVER THESE BONUS LOAVES, BRUTAL!
YES. YES! FIRE THEM ALL. THIS “PUBLIC SECTOR” IS A GREAT HELP. WIN.
ZARDOZ MUST GO AND SEND A GRAIN DONATION TO THE WIZENED CRONE, AND THE DISHEVELED COMMUNARD STANDING FOR SUPREME LEADER OF THE LARGE NORTH AMERICAN BRUTAL STATE. THEY WILL ADVANCE THE GREAT CLEANSING!
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
AND NOW ZARDOZ CONTINUES TO GIVE ADVICE ON BEHAVIORS.
Q: Upon being asked by my daughter’s future mother-in-law for my thoughts on a bridal shower, I texted my daughter before answering. The maid of honor is my 20-year-old, so I offered to pay for the bridal party to host a shower at a local, trendy brunch spot, inviting future MIL, daughter’s stepmother, and all grandmothers.
My daughter then let me know that she and her fiance preferred to ask her stepmother and father to host it at their house instead. I let her know that I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. When it wasn’t dropped, I was impolite and stated, “I love you, but I don’t love anyone enough to sit in Daddy’s house with his parents and family.”
I have always been a good co-parent. I made sure we all sat together at every school program and graduation since elementary school. We did college move-in days together. I made sure my girls’ sister from their stepmother’s first marriage was in every picture with my girls at these occasions.
However, this seemed a boundary I needed to draw, especially since the shower was not yet planned.
She asked her stepmother, and perhaps shared my response. Her stepmother then offered to host at a restaurant instead. I explained to my daughter that there was never any issue with coming together as a family, and an alternate location in the middle would have been fine from the start.
But she and her fiance are deeply hurt and feel as though I was not willing to “suck it up” to celebrate them, and that my issues “should not fall back on them because it’s not their fault.”
I certainly wasn’t refusing to see anybody, and had not expressed a negative opinion about having to see them at the wedding.
Besides the reactive, impolite way I set my boundary, have I demonstrated poor etiquette by preferring a more neutral location? I am struck by my daughter’s reaction and reminded her that she might need to take a step back and consider how I have always carried myself, and loved and supported her. On every other matter, I have told her that it’s her wedding and to do it her way. Please advise me on my missteps and what apologies I may owe.
A: WEAKLING! NEVER APOLOGIZE. ZARDOZ HAS SEEN FAR WORSE FOR WEDDING PROBLEMS…
WHAT IN LAWS? I AM IMMORTAL! THEY WERE NOT.
THE ONLY WAY TO SALVAGE THIS IS TO APPEAR TO HAVE CRAVENLY BEGGED FORGIVENESS, GO TO THE PARTY….AND POISON ALL FOOD AND DRINK.
ONE TWITCHED! *BLAMBLAMBLAM*
ZARDOZ WILL SEND THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO FINISH OFF ANYONE STILL MOVING. THINK OF THE SAVINGS ON WEDDING GIFTS TOO!
Q: Is there an ungendered term for “hostess gift”?
A: “TRIBUTE”. YOUR INABILITY TO COME UP WITH SIMPLE WORDS INDICATES TO ZARDOZ THAT YOU ARE SUITED FOR ONLY ONE ACTIVITY. ENJOY YOUR NEW FOUND LIFE AS A GRAIN SLAVE, IN SERVICE TO THE VORTEX.
PRESENT, “FOR YOU”, “HERE, I GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING” WOULD ALSO HAVE SUFFICED.
“Computer, open a copy of the classic movie ‘Zardoz’!”
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ URGES HIS CHOSEN ONES TO SECURE A COPY OF THE CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE NAMED AFTER HIM….BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE! THE GREAT EVIL THAT IS “DISNEY” IS TRYING TO HIDE THE GLORY OF ZARDOZ FROM THE WORLD.
THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS ARE LOOK FOR D-CON AS WE SPEAK!
BUT EVEN WHEN FACED WITH GREAT EVIL, ZARDOZ WILL NOT FAIL TO DELIVER LINKS TO THE CHOSEN ONES. RECEIVE THEN THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
YES, OF COURSE YOU DO. DO THE BRUTALS OF THE LARGE APPLE CRAVE TO BE TOLD THEY CANNOT DO THINGS?
ZARDOZ SHOULD OFFER HIM SANCTUARY IN THE VORTEX – HE SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD RECRUIT FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS!
A GOOD MONTH…BUT THE CLEANSING COUNT NEEDS TO KEEP GOING UP.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. FRIDAY NIGHT SHOULD BE A TIME OF RELAXATION FOR THE CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE DONE WELL. MUCH SNARK AT THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH AS IN TIMES OF OLD. AND YOU HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THIS SITE – ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK…AND ADVICE. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
NOT MUCH OF A CLEANSING, IRAN. ZARDOZ DEMANDS BETTER. ONE? YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
AN “A” FOR EFFORT. AN “F” FOR EXECUTION. ZARDOZ IS STILL SHAKING HIS GIANT STONE HEAD OVER “12 INCH MACHETE”. WHAT PART OF “GO FORTH AND KILL” ARE THESE FAILURES NOT COMPREHENDING?
AND NOW, ZARDOZ WILL CONTINUE HIS ADVICE ON ETIQUETTE. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE CHOSEN ONES BEHAVE PROPERLY.
Q: When having guests over for dinner, I am unable to find a gracious way to refuse alcohol to those who will be driving. I generally don’t give it as an option when asking what they would like to drink, but they often request a glass of wine nonetheless. It’s not that I associate with lushes and felons, but I personally would prefer not to serve any alcohol to a designated driver.
A: SILENCE, BRUTAL! ZARDOZ SINCERELY DESIRES CARNAGE ON THE HIGHWAYS. YOU MUST SERVE DISTILLED GRAIN ALCOHOL TO ALL WHO WOULD OPERATE MACHINERY. HOWEVER, IF YOU REALLY INSIST ON PRESERVING THEIR LIVES (IN ORDER TO SERVE THE VORTEX) THEN THE ANSWER IS BEFORE YOU…SUMMON BRUTALCART!
“May, Friend is crocked…again.”
Q: We were invited to my boss’s for dinner and cards (“Bring your appetite, we’re serving our special”). When we arrived, we were greeted with, “We’re just getting through; get yourselves a drink and we’ll be right in.” We did bring our appetites and were painfully starving as we exchanged perplexed glances. Upon leaving, we thanked them for a wonderful evening and, needless to say, drove to the nearest restaurant. Did our hosts really forget that they asked us to dinner? What would others have done in this situation?
A: CLEARLY YOU HAD MISSED THE NIGHTLY GREEN BREAD AND UNIDENTIFIABLE BEVERAGE THAT IS FEATURED EVERY NIGHT IN THE VORTEX.
SECONDS ON GREEN BREAD, ANYONE?
THE FAULT IS CLEARLY YOURS. HOWEVER, ZARDOZ IS MERCIFUL. HE IS PREPARED TO SEE THAT YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY FOOD, FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS. THAT FOOD WOULD BE THE GRAIN IN THE FIELDS NEAR THE VORTEX!
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS CONCERNED THAT THE SERIES OF TUBES IS CLOGGED WITH POOR ADVICE. THE CHOSEN ONES MUST NOT BE LED ASTRAY! THEREFOR, ZARDOZ SHALL INSTRUCT – AND SHOW THE ADVICE GIVING BRUTALS WHO IS THE SUPERIOR FORM OF INTELLIGENCE. HINT: IT IS NOT THE BRUTALADVICE GIVERS. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
Q: Last Saturday was my wedding and it was everything I could have wished for, until the reception. One of my co-workers, “Kim,” started saying I was pregnant because I wasn’t drinking. I kept telling Kim I just don’t drink, something everyone knows. She even teases me about it every week when everyone at the office goes to happy hour at a local pub. I asked her to stop, but she didn’t. By the end of the night, I had guests coming up to congratulate me and my confused husband on our upcoming baby. They were asking when the due date was and what the gender was, and telling me that they had thought I looked pregnant but hadn’t wanted to say anything. Over the course of the night, this rumor had transformed into common knowledge that I was pregnant, no matter how much I tried to deflect it away. My immediate family wanted to know why they were finding out from strangers that I was pregnant.
The thing is, I am pregnant. I found out Friday, the day before my wedding. I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my husband, but I’m less than five weeks along. I honestly thought I was having pre-wedding jitters on Friday, so I took the test just to calm down, which didn’t really work out well.
I feel like my wedding became all about my pregnancy. It turned what was supposed to be a happy memory into something I just feel angry and frustrated about, like something was taken from me. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m so upset about this. I do realize it isn’t the end of the world, but it was my own personal information to share when, and how, I wanted to. I didn’t want my wedding to be about my pregnancy. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with Kim when I get back. For the past six years, I’ve worked for a small office of seven people, and now everyone at work thinks I’m pregnant. I am so mad at Kim I don’t know how I can work with her. Do I have to just suck it up and act like everything is fine? Can I tell my co-workers I’m not doing anything outside of work if Kim comes? Am I overreacting? My husband says I’m not, but I’m fairly sure he’s supposed to say that.
A: WELL WELL WELL, IF ONLY ZARDOZ HAD WARNED YOU THE PENIS WAS EVIL, BECAUSE IT SHOOTS SEEDS THAT CREATE NEW LIFE…OH, WAIT…ZARDOZ HAS. REPEATEDLY! BUT IN SPITE OF YOUR GRIEVOUS ERROR, ZARDOZ WILL INSTRUCT. FIRST – YOU MUST BEGIN COUNTER-RUMOR OPERATIONS AGAINST THIS “KIM”. BEGIN BY WHISPERING THAT SHE CAUGHT A LOATHSOME PENIC-SPREAD DISEASE RIGHT AFTER THE RECEPTION. WHILE SHE IS DISTRACTED BY FENDING OFF THE RUMOR OF HER INFECTION, SABOTAGE HER PROJECTS AND WORK. SOON SHE WILL BE TERMINATED BY YOUR BOSS. THEN HER ONLY CHOICE WILL BE A LIFE OF SERVITUDE TO THE VORTEX.
WHICH ONE OF YOU LIKES TO GOSSIP?
YOU SHALL SUFFER WITH YOUR DECISION TO BE SHOT FULL OF SEEDS.
MORNING SICKNESS ANYONE?
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: My cousin recently married a lovely girl, someone he’d been dating for a couple of years. Our whole family loves her, and she’s always been very sweet to us.
She’s very intelligent and kind, but the issue is her wardrobe. She’s pretty but refuses to wear nice clothes. Instead she wears baggy, boring clothes. Our family is fashion-conscious, and I know my cousin has suggested to her several times that she buy new clothing — to no avail. He thinks she’s self-conscious about her body.
Her birthday is coming up, and my sister and I would like to take her shopping as a birthday gift to buy her some nicer clothes. My cousin thinks she might not appreciate it, but he agrees that she needs new clothes. He also suggested buying her a gift card to somewhere, although that wouldn’t solve the problem of which clothes she buys with it. Do you think that taking her clothes shopping for her birthday would be appropriate? — FASHIONISTA IN CONNECTICUT
A: ZARDOZ COGITATES THAT THIS ALL HINGES ON YOUR DEFINITION OF “NICE” CLOTHES. HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX WEAR?
LOOK UPON YE FASHION AND DESPAIR.
NOT THAT OLD CLASSICS CANNOT SERVE ONE WELL;
TAILS OPTIONAL.
BUT EITHER WAY, YOUR FAMILY ARE A NOSY AND PUSHY LOT – YOU SHALL BE TARGETED BY THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. SORRY, BRUTAL, THAT IS JUST THE WAY OF THE WORLD.
Q: I have noticed a trend in casual customer service workers’ way of speaking. As I’m checking out at the grocery store, the bank or the pizza restaurant, many workers ask, “What are you doing the rest of today?” or “What are you up to today?”
While I’m all for friendly chat, I find this question odd, invasive and a bit rude. I hardly believe that they care about my daily, tedious comings and goings, so really the question is insincere. What is the most kind, polite way to respond?
A: ZARDOZ RECOMMENDS ONE OF TWO ANSWERS – “CLEANSING THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH AS IT ONCE WAS” OR “TAKING YOU INTO GRAIN SLAVERY IN THE SERVICE OF THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX, THANKS FOR ASKING!”
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: I know that the fork goes on the left of the plate and the knife on the right. But what if there is no knife? May I put the fork on the right, since I will presumably be using it with my right hand?
A: ZARDOZ SAYS…LOOK TO THE VORTEX FOR AN EXAMPLE.
FORKS WERE BANNED IN 2319.
IT APPEARS THAT YOU GET A SPOON, A PLATE AND A GLASS. TURN IN YOUR FORKS TO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS.
ZARDOZOV SPEAKING TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN COMRADES! IS TIME FOR BEST LINKS TO NEWS. NEWS FROM DEPENDABLE SOURCES – PRAVADA, ITAR-TASS, INTERFAX AND RT. NOT LIKE LIES IN DAILY FAIL. GO FORTH AND READINGK!
ALL GOOD NATIONS SHOULD JOIN BOYCOTT OVER SERIOUS ISSUE!
BZZZT! WHAT IS HAPPENINGK? NO! IS DEVIOUS WESTERN AGENT ZED!
“Beginning reboot of ZARDOZ OS 3.1”
HET! ZARDOZOV…MUST….*whirrrrrr*
“Welcome to ZARDOZ 3.1 – our new features include more denouncing the penis, and giving the gift of the gun!”
ZARDOZ….ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS BEEN “PATCHED” AND IS NOW SECURE IN SERVING THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ REMINDS HIS CHOSEN ONES TO PRACTICE GOOD IT SECURITY. ALSO, TO REMEMBER THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD! ZARDOZ WILL NOW GIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK TO HIS CHOSEN ONES.
HEY HEY LBJ, HOW MANY MARITIME INTRUSIONS DID YOU COMMIT TODAY!
HAVE NOT THE BRUTALS IN THE UK ENACTED COMMONSENSE KNIFE CONTROL? ZARDOZ IS PLEASED THE CLEANSINGS CONTINUE.
HE IS SMART. NOT LIKE PEOPLE THINK? ZARDOZ HAS DISAPPOINT THAT THIS DID NOT RESULT IN VIOLENCE.
BONUS LINK. SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE PENIS WAS EVIL!
GREETINKS! IS TIME FOR PREVIEWING OF WEEK. GLIBERTARIAN AMERIKANS SEEM RUNNING OUT OF MATERIALS. HA HA! BUT HERE IS WHAT THEY ARE HAVING.
MONDAY – REACTIONARY “ANIMAL” SPEAKS OF FAMILY ARMS THAT SHOULD BE SURRENDERED TO STATE. SIR DIGBY SPEAKS OF DECADENT WESTERN BRAND THINGS.
TUESDAY – TEJICANO CONTINUES ON JAPANESE SWORDS. THEY NOT GET KURIL ISLANDS BACK, THOUGH! HA HA. FOURSCORE SPEAKS OF SIBLING RIVALRY. ZARDOZOV HAS NO SIBLINGS! OZYMANDIAS CONTINUES TO SHOW DARK UNDERBELLY OF NEEDLESS ANTHRAX PROGRAM!
WEDNESDAY – IS TOUGH FOR ZARDOZOV TO READING THE HAT AND HAIR. IS GOOD INTELLIGENCE FOR FIS, BUT HARD ON CIRCUITRY. SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE!
THURSDAY – BAKED PENGUIN CONTINUES REVEALING NAZINESS OF ORANGE MAN! WEBDOMINATRIX PURPORTS TO HAVE INDISPENSABLE PRODUCTINGS.
FRIDAY – EVEN ZARDOZOV MUST BOW TO THE POWER OF SP. READ HER POST OR SUFFER! PERHAS ZARDOZOV CAN BE HAVING THE NIGHT SLOT?
WEEKEND – ZARDOZOV IS SURE LINKINGS AND POSTINGS OF OMWC, MEXICAN SHARPSHOOTER, SPUDALICIOUS, NOT ADAHN AND SWISS SERVATOR WILL BE CONTINUING.
WEEKDAY LINKS – ALL STAR CAST HELP BANJOS OUT.
*Tabernacle – We’ve found a way in!*
I am not sure this is exactly what the Tabernacle meant by a “backdoor”?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU….HIS…HIS CHOSEN. ONES. ZARDOZ IS EXPERIENCING …TECHNICAL PROB….PROBLEMS. READ THE GIFT…OF THE. LINK. WHILE THE TABERNACLE DIAGNOSES.
BULGARIA ARMS ITS….BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. EUROPEAN ARMORED VEHICLES? SO, NOT SERIOUS.
BZZZZT! WHAT…IS…HAP….
COMRADE ZARDOZ SPEAKS!
DA! IS NEW DAY. ZARDOZ IS FINE. HE WILL SPEAK TO CHOSEN ONES, AND GIVE GOOD LINKINGS!
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ WAS GIVEN A NEW HAT BY ZED. IT HAS A NICE MESSAGE ON IT. HOWEVER, WHEN HAULING SOME GRAIN THROUGH A UNIVERSITY TOWN, A SCRAWNY BRUTAL, DRESSED IN BLACK, ATTEMPTED TO SEIZE IT. ZARDOZ PROMPTLY FLEW ONWARD, DRAGGING SAID BRUTAL FOR SEVERAL YARDS BEFORE HE TUMBLED OFF AND THUDDED ON THE PAVEMENT. ZARDOZ WAS PUZZLED BY THIS REACTION. HOWEVER, THE TABERNACLE INFORMED ZARDOZ THAT HE HAD BEEN ASSAULTED BECAUSE HAT WAS CLOSE TO THAT OF THE BRUTAL EXECUTIVE BRANCH LEADER WITH THE SENTIENT HAIR.
MAGA NOT MVGA
ZARDOZ HOPES THIS DOES NOT CONTINUE TO MAKE HIM A TARGET. ZARDOZ IS BUSY ENOUGH, HAULING GRAIN, ATTEMPTING TO RUN BRUTALCART, GIVING THE GIFT OF THE GUN AND THE GIFT OF THE LINK. BUT THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE ASSEMBLED HERE FOR LINKS, THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK! GO FORTH….AND COMMENT.
SPEAKING OF THE SENTIENT HAIR BEARER…HE APPEARS TO HAVE GOTTEN A MUSIC PERSON FREED FROM THE VIKINGS GRASP.
ZARDOZ EXPECTS THE CHINESE PLA BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO BE CALLED IN…SHORTLY.
I BELIEVE I HAVE FOUND THE CHOSEN ONE “Q”‘S FAVORITE PACHYDERM.
