Tues…Tuesday Morning L…Links

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU….HIS…HIS CHOSEN. ONES. ZARDOZ IS EXPERIENCING …TECHNICAL PROB….PROBLEMS. READ THE GIFT…OF THE. LINK. WHILE THE TABERNACLE DIAGNOSES.

  • BULGARIA ARMS ITS….BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. EUROPEAN ARMORED VEHICLES? SO, NOT SERIOUS.

BZZZZT! WHAT…IS…HAP….

COMRADE ZARDOZ SPEAKS!

 

DA! IS NEW DAY. ZARDOZ IS FINE. HE WILL SPEAK TO CHOSEN ONES, AND GIVE GOOD LINKINGS!

  1. MOTHERLAND ACTS STRONGLY!
  2. FRIEND TURK SAYS “ALL IS WELL!”
  3. IS TIME RENEW OLD GERMAN-RUSSIA FRIENDSHIP! IT WORK OUT FINE, LAST TIME.

ZARDOZ HAS BEEN SPEAKINK!

 

Comments

552 responses to “Tues…Tuesday Morning L…Links”

  1. PieInTheSky

    BULGARIA ARMS ITS….BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. EUROPEAN ARMORED VEHICLES? SO, NOT SERIOUS. – Bulgaria is still weak. We could get them in under a week

    1. AlexinCT

      That’s the way to think Pie. As Conan told the chieftain when prompted about the meaning of life, it is “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women”. Besides people should fight using prison rules. When you win you sell the loser off for a pack of smokes and some candy bars or pruno. I suspect we would have far less random war. or maybe more. Who knows.

    2. leon

      Ok thought the EU ussured in a new age of peace. Why are they arming themselves? No one needs weapons, these continental only ever happen in Europe.

      1. It’s for the coming EU civil war slap fight.

    3. Not Adahn

      Awww! It’s like watching PeeWee football trash talk!

  2. >>Rudiger von Fritsch: There is huge potential in German-Russian relations

    You know who else thought there was a huge potential in German-Russian relations…

      1. PieInTheSky

        I was thinking III

        1. Peter III? Did he even know about Russia?

          1. PieInTheSky

            no this one

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_III_of_Russia

            Don’t be a smart ass

          2. AlexinCT

            Does UCS have any other mode of operation?

          3. blackjack

            Eliminates me, right there.

          4. Festus

            Salty!

    1. Private Chipperbot
      1. PieInTheSky

        would. young female and alive

    2. WTF

      Princess Alix of Hesse and by Rhine?

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Anyone with a Polish surname?

    4. Prince Ernst August of Hanover, Jr.?

  3. PieInTheSky

    FRIEND TURK SAYS “ALL IS WELL!” – honestly if you can;’t trust a Turk who can you trust?

    1. “Joey, have you ever been…in a Turkish Prison?”

      1. Festus

        Damn you!

      2. Contrarian P

        +1 gladiator movies

    2. Sean

      who can you trust?

      Hillary Clinton?

      1. DrOtto

        Most qualified ever.

  4. PieInTheSky

    Ok so the links were somewhat late now the commenters seem to be…

    1. I was distracted looking at another site.

      1. Festus

        Q hasn’t even chimed in yet.

          1. Festus

            Heh. Of course you were.

          2. I’m at work, a lot of the fun sites are blocked.

          3. I was thinking of these

          4. Count Potato

            That’s awesome.

          5. Democratic Hitler

            Seconded.

    2. Hey now, we’re all at the party down the hall. It takes time to round up the drunks and herd them over here.

      1. Just stack them like cordwood in the corpse cart, and dump it on the floor when we’re here.

    3. Nephilium

      It’s a good thing none of us are female.

      1. blackjack

        Rabbit done died?

      2. PieInTheSky

        males can be late as well shitlord

        1. AlexinCT

          Pie must be jockeying for some serious government cheese…

          1. Festus

            Either that or he wants his Block and Tackle waxed in B.C.

    4. I’m coming!

      *furiously faps*

  5. blackjack

    ” Speakink” Is that like phone sex or a hidden room where you can get illegal stuff?

    1. Festus

      I suppose it’s what Alexa’s spooks are listening to.

  6. Other than Reuters, I don’t recognize any of the sites you linked to.

    Has someone hacked you, Comrade ZARDOZ?

    1. ZARDOZ

      HET! ALL IS PROPERLY FUNCTIONINK!

      1. AlexinCT

        Queue the old Soviet national anthem?

          1. Rhywun

            Дaaa! I mean, yaaass!

  7. leon

    “MOTHERLAND ACTS STRONGLY!”

    Wasn’t it an open secret that both Nations were in violation of the treaty?

    1. WTF

      Russia’s been in violation for a long time, but nobody cared to do anything in response.

  8. PieInTheSky

    In silly english collective words

    A sounder is a herd of feral hogs primarily comprised of one or more adult sows and one or multiple generations of offspring. A sounder is the primary social unit among feral hogs

    I had heard of Seattle Sounders FC but did not know where they get their name

    1. leon

      I thought it was from Pugett Sound.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        It was/is.

        “Sound” comes from the Norse “sund”: a gap.

    2. PieInTheSky

      Also as an European I appreciate the F in FC

      1. leon

        It’s actually a swingers outfit.

      2. robc

        Soccer is the proper term. Otherwise, how do we know you aren’t talking about Rugby?

        Soccer was the british short hand for association football, to distinguish from rugby football.

        Football is too generic, Association, Rugby, Australian, American, Irish, plus probably some I am missing.

        1. Canadian, Arena, some others that escape me.

        2. PieInTheSky

          Association football

          1. robc

            Which I mentioned twice in the post.

          2. PieInTheSky

            I was emphasizing

          3. robc

            The point of emphasis is asSOCiation.

          4. BakedPenguin

            Kind of odd to use the “soc” from “association”, but I guess they thought it better than calling it “assball”.

      3. robc

        https://www.boredatuni.com/stuff.php?stuffId=11

        Was thinking of this…and it had a part I had forgotten about, that made it even more perfect:


        Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but goddammit, I did it.

        1. PieInTheSky

          Not anymore though…

          1. robc

            They are still good, even if they aren’t the world’s best anymore.

        2. Not Adahn

          Nadia Comanichi has a sad. An adorable, heart-rending sad.

          1. PieInTheSky

            that is not how you spell that

          2. Not Adahn

            Americans were worse spellers in the ’70s

  9. Bob Boberson

    All those links are about things happening in places. My Google news feed assures me the only thing that ever happens in the world are AOCs latest tweets and editorials about #guns&orangemanbad

    1. leon

      It’s almost as if we live in a censorous regime.

      1. AlexinCT

        Almost?

        Oh, I got it. Sarcasm.

  10. leon

    “The Russian-made S-400 missile systems cannot harm NATO, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said in Ankara on Tuesday.”

    NATO allies using Russian equipment. Truman is turning in his grave.

    1. WTF

      NATO shouldn’t even exist anymore.

      1. ZARDOZ

        DA! IS CORRECT.

      2. blackjack

        Nay to Nato!

      3. leon

        Agreed. Just funny to me. They join NATO and don’t have the decency to fulfill the primary obligation of purchasing weapons from American manufacturers.

        1. WTF

          the primary obligation of purchasing weapons from American manufacturers.

          That is of course the true purpose for the continued existence of NATO.

        2. Not Adahn

          *golf clap*

      4. PieInTheSky

        Disagree.

        1. WTF

          The original purpose of NATO was “to keep the Americans in, the Russians out, and the Germans down” in the face of an existential threat from the Soviet Union and Warsaw Pact and fear of German resurgence after WWII. This no longer applies, and the Europeans are perfectly capable of seeing to their own defense.

          1. PieInTheSky

            Europeans are perfectly capable of seeing to their own defense. – again, disagree

          2. robc

            Europeans are perfect capable of failing to defend their own self and us not giving a damn.

            Is that better?

          3. PieInTheSky

            Is that better? – not really from my point of view

          4. You’re not paying us enough.

            Look, the US is the only 1st world country where it is legal for its citizens to be mercenaries. Just hire a mercenary army, and we’ll defend you.

          5. WTF

            Of course Europeans are perfectly capable of seeing to their own defense, they just won’t spend the money and effort to do so as long as they can rely on Uncle Sugar.

          6. AlexinCT

            Reminds me of the ugly chick that complained of lack of a good sugar daddy story someone posted here the other day…

          7. PieInTheSky

            ENB?

          8. Atanarjuat

            Maybe not, but it’s like a native Hawaiian teaching their children to swim. If you toss them in the raging surf, they’ll probably figure it out.

          9. Rasilio

            Have you seen the state of the Russian Military?

            while they might have a hard time dealing with protesting immigrants I am pretty sure that Europe can protect itself from Russia because I’m not sure that Russia could successfully invade and take over Syria right now.

            Everyone else has the problem of how precisely are they going to get to Europe to invade it

      5. Pope Jimbo

        Matt Welch is curled up in the fetal position crying his eyes out at your hurtful words.

        1. Jarflax

          Matt Welch has been in that position since November 2016.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It must be hard to sit down with his head in the way.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If the Turks are going to antagonize the US and Europe then diversifying their weapons supply is a good idea. Supposedly the S-400 is the best in the world.

      1. ZARDOZ

        DA. IS BETTER THAN SILLY “PATRIOT” OR “THAAD”.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Why would you want a missile that can’t harm someone?

  11. Slammer

    STEVE SMITH SQUATCH OF HONOR. NEVER MAKE PROMISE OF PULL OUT. HE STAY UNTIL BITTER END

    1. Festus

      STEVE SMITH MAKE HIKER END FEEL BITTER!

  12. The Late P Brooks

    August 6- why does that date seem special?

    1. AlexinCT

      Ask the people of Hiroshima?

      1. At the start of one of my last years at college, the university issued paper planner/calendar things that had random historical events on some of the days. Flipping through it, and completely not in the mindset to be thinking about it, I passed August 9’s entry – “Fat Man Destroys Nagasaki”. Phrased just like that, with no more context.

        1. He was really, really hungry.

          1. Not Adahn

            They ran out of chanko nabe.

          2. straffinrun

            Jazz hands for the sumo reference, but it’s Nagasaki champon. Only reason I know this is because the music they play is a Queen knockoff. We are the Champon. Don’t narrow gaze me bro. It really is their music.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            If you’re going to post food, you need to bring enough for the rest of the class.

          4. Akira

            I looooove to make up a bigass pot of chankonabe now and then. Good to chow down on after pumping iron.

  13. PieInTheSky

    Today I discovered lesbian pulp bot exists on twitter

    https://twitter.com/lesbianpulpbot/status/1158604040495861760

    1. Festus

      When I was a kid there was a corner store down the road that sold the usual stuff but also had a revolving rack of the filthiest porn that you can imagine circa 1976. They sold books like that.

      1. RAPESQUATCH MONTHLY?

        1. WTF

          DEAR RAPESQUATCH: STEVE SMITH CAN’T BELIEVE THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN, SEE A CAMP FULL OF NAKED HIKERS DEEP IN WOODS….

    2. Atanarjuat

      When I was in jail, they kept us locked down in our cells most of the time and boredom was the biggest problem. I finally got my hands on the only book I could barter for and immediately read it cover to cover…a lesbian vampire short story collection.

      1. Fourscore

        I wanted to take reading material to the county jail in TX, a friend taught reading to the prisoners. Anyway the horsepower said fine but no porn, no Am Rifleman/gun magazines/no true detective type. I took a lot of Nat Geos (newer Geos specialize in penguins, etc, not in African tribal women anymore) and travel stuff there. All were appreciative.

  14. Drake

    A country where rampant drug armies leave headless corpses dangling from bridges like ghastly piñatas is hopping up on its moral high horse and “going to take legal action” over the El Paso Wally World shooting. Maybe you want to slow your roll there, Pedro, until you can keep tourists from getting shwacked in Cancun.

    Tam

    1. PieInTheSky

      that’s racist

      1. Not Adahn

        Lesbians can’t be racist.

        1. AlexinCT

          Ask that tranny what he thinks about that…

          1. AlexinCT

            Blue on blue action, yes.

          2. Brett L

            **narrows gaze**

    2. leon

      Meh. It’s as annoying when furiners stick their noses into our politics as when we do the same.

    3. Nephilium

      Can we talk about their concession stands first?

      1. Recycled Beer? So Pisswasser?

        The video posted to social media seems to show a woman wearing a Corona Extra T-shirt

        I see…

      2. Fourscore

        So, GI bars everywhere in the world?

  15. wchipperdove

    OT – I have a dumb question for those of you who are lawyers. If I were to sign a contract but my signature, very legibly, was something like, say, ‘Porky Pig,’ is it still legally binding?

    After all, I could point to it and say, “That’s not my name. I don’t know who signed this.”

    Is this a thing, or is this a really stupid question, and I should feel bad just for asking it?

    1. ZARDOZ

      TOTALITY OF CIRCUMSTANCE, BRAH!

    2. This is the kind of thing that trips up law students all the time. As the giant stone deity alluded to, it depends on the situation. There are a few factors that come into play like duress and good faith and performance of the contract.

    3. nw

      Short answer: yes, it’s legally binding.

      Slightly longer answer: you could still point to it and say you don’t know who signed it, but it wasn’t you, even if it was your name.
      Nor are names unique. Strictly speaking, it’s not the signature that makes the contract legally binding, the signature is
      just evidence that you intended to enter into the contract written down. A longer discussion would involve statutes of fraud,
      uniform commercial code, and other statues overriding the common law principles.

    4. Jarflax

      Probably not a good idea. If your intent is to get the benefit of the bargain while having a way out of the agreement if things go badly, then you likely would be held to the agreement. A contract forms when you have a meeting of the minds, and deliberately trying to fool the other party into thinking you have agreed is likely enough to constitute agreement. Also, “That’s not my name” is fine. “I don’t know who signed this.” when you signed it, would not be.

    5. Brett L

      If you are the named party, like when it has your name printed, it doesn’t really matter. Remember in pre-literate Anglo-American law, people often “made their mark” rather than signed their names. As long as you are the named party and endorsed it with some mark, you’re kinda bound. Think about credit card signing. Nobody cares what you write there. If you contest a charge, “that’s not my signature” will be the very last thing they look at.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      It’s kinda of stupid to read and think the NYT is ‘objective’ journalism. The owner himself admitted years ago something to the effect of ‘I’m liberal and of course my paper is going to reflect that’.

      But it’s often cited it as if it’s some sort of stone of ‘tegrity’.

      1. WTF

        The purpose of the NYT is to confirm the world view of the sort of people who read the NYT.

      2. AlexinCT

        The left would love for people to believe the propaganda they peddle is the truth…

    2. WTF

      RED ALERT! RED ALERT! CHANGE HEADLINE: ORANGEMANBAD!!!11!!!

    1. Sean

      404’d

    2. Drake

      The link is busted but I’ve long assumed that those “arm-braces” are going to be banned. Never really understood the arbitrary limit on barrel length.

      1. Tejicano

        And it wouldn’t even matter if he didn’t use an arm brace (no info on exactly what he did use) – they would see this as the opportunity and say how much worse it would have been had he used one. They don’t need logic and don’t really seem to know how to use it anyway. They just want enough emotion flowing to do as much damage as they can.

        1. Akira

          They don’t need logic and don’t really seem to know how to use it anyway. They just want enough emotion flowing to do as much damage as they can.

          That’s what gives it away – they push for restrictions that are completely unrelated to whatever shooting just happened. Hell, they were trying to use Sandy Hook as an excuse to further restrict concealed carry licenses.

    3. AR pistols are in a weird category as it is, I’m not sure how they’ll be able to craft a law that’s precise enough to keep people from building guns that get around the language. I have a buddy who made a…firearm…that doesn’t actually fit a category. It doesn’t even fit the “any other weapon” definition. He explained why that’s technically so but I don’t recall the reason. Essentially, it’s an AR-15 lower and it looks like you’d call it an SBR, but I believe it doesn’t have a buttstock, but it isn’t a pistol because of the barrel length, etc.

      1. Drake

        If they knew anything about guns, they might ban gas-operated pistols. Owners of Desert Eagles would be mad.

        1. My pessimistic prediction is that we’ll wind up with a regime where you have to get a federally-issued license to own anything other than a break-action shotgun or bolt-action rifle. They’ll get around the “shall not be infringed” bit by saying that anyone can get it assuming they don’t have a felony, they just have to pay a minor administrative fee, get fingerprinted, and take a safety course. No big whoop, right? Maryland does this with pistols now. It’s called an HQL (handgun qualification license, I believe) and fucking Hogan hasn’t had the balls to get rid of it since he’s been in office. It’s one of the stupider Maryland gun laws.

    4. Word is he illegally modified the gun with a shorter barrel.

  16. PieInTheSky

    How Gender Stereotypes Affect Pro-Environment Behavior

    https://psmag.com/environment/how-gender-stereotypes-affect-pro-environment-behavior

    Green is Gay apparently. Although I doubt the research

    1. AlexinCT

      Is this the right spot for the crazy comment that it will make the frogs gay?

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If Beto keeps it up with the Trump condemnation he might crack 1 percent.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        math FWIW: He has over 3% in hand minimum if only those who have recently voted for him repeated the favor.

    2. leon

      You’re Johnny Cash?

      Oh back

    3. Festus

      Not me! I’m leaping head-long through a plate glass window!

    4. Rhywun

      Now do Obama.

    5. Contrarian P

      If that’s what people are really thinking we are in trouble.

      We aren’t in 1930s Germany. I’m sorry.

      I really believe that people deep down know that nothing is going to happen to them if they criticize the President so it’s a sign of how cool and sophisticated they are to come out and talk about how he’s a racist and so forth. Because mean tweets.

      Personally I don’t give a damn if someone is a racist. I’d gladly live right next to the biggest racist in the world as long as he leaves me, my family, and my friends alone. I don’t believe Trump to be a racist, but honestly it doesn’t matter very much to me if he is. And no, I don’t believe this “he’s giving a pass to white supremacy” arglebargle either.

      There are more stamp collectors in the United States than there are genuine white supremacists. I’m sorry, they aren’t a threat.

      1. Akira

        I really believe that people deep down know that nothing is going to happen to them if they criticize the President so it’s a sign of how cool and sophisticated they are to come out and talk about how he’s a racist and so forth. Because mean tweets.

        You have all of the Democrat Party and a good chunk of the Republican Party talking about how terrible Trump is. You have every major media outlet except Fox talking shit on him nonstop, and even outright collusion with the DNC to slant coverage in favor of his opponent. You have Google manipulating search results to make him look bad.

        Yea, I’m pretty sick of hearing people described as “brave” for saying bad things about Trump. It’s the most mainstream fucking opinion in the world.

    6. Chipwooder

      Wonkette still exists? Huh.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Just trying to help

    Obama on Monday afternoon lamented the violence that transpired Saturday morning in El Paso, Texas, and early Sunday morning in Dayton, Ohio, which left at least 31 people dead and injured dozens more.

    In his statement, Obama called on Americans to “soundly reject language coming out of the mouths of any of our leaders that feeds a climate of fear and hatred or normalizes racist sentiments.” The former president did not mention Trump, or any other politician, by name.

    Thanks, Barry.

    1. Yeah… I had the neighbors over for a drink last night and they were talking about Obama’s “message”.

      I said (paraphrasing): is he asking for more money for his library?

    2. Slammer

      And that Fast and Furious cunt Eric Holder of all people chimed the fuck in:

      Enough-time for real action. Pass a domestic terrorism bill. Ban assault weapons, high capacity magazines, body armor, silencers. Pass universal background checks, end loopholes: gunshow and Charleston. Pass red flag laws. We can reduce the carnage if pols have the guts to act

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        These two egotistical maniacs don’t understand the concept of ‘you had your kick at the can so have the decency to shut the fuck up’ do they?

        1. Yah – they had the house, the senate, and the presidency but yet did nothing (that I can remember) about gun control.

          Obama was certainly one of the best arms salesman though.

      2. kbolino

        Pass red flag laws. We can reduce the carnage if pols have the guts to act

        Carnage at the hands of the state is still carnage. Based on their history so far, “red flag” laws will kill more people than they save.

        1. Red Flag laws are guilty until proven innocent, seizure of property without compensation, and a denial of the right to face your accusers (in the places that permit anonymous reporting). That is even before you get to the infringement of the right to keep and bear arms.

          1. kbolino

            Yes, and some chapters of the ACLU have opposed them on those grounds. Unfortunately, because the organization as a whole is anti-2A, they tend to be easily wooed by the introduction of mostly meaningless “protections”.

        2. AlexinCT

          Yeah, but that sort of killing is good, because it is killing the right (well, wrong) kind of people!

          1. kbolino

            It amazes me sometimes that we can’t ask people for ID to vote because it’s somehow racist, and removing those who have died or moved out of the jurisdiction from the voting rolls is disenfranchisement, but stripping people of their rights without them having committed any crime, never mind enjoyed due process, with potentially lethal consequences, is a-okay.

          2. straffinrun

            Let’s do red flags for voting rights, too.

          3. WTF

            And abortion rights as well.

    3. straffinrun

      Welp, I waited 48 hours and all I can figure out is that one shooter was a raging racist and the other was a leftist freak. So we’re just gonna pretend the Dayton shooting was committed by the El Paso shooter?

      1. He clearly escaped custody, got halfway across the country and committed another shooting.

      2. Tejicano

        They are basically doing that by lumping the total number of deaths into one number of killed last weekend and only focusing on the El Paso shooter’s background.

    4. Passive Aggressive Preezy.

  18. Sean

    These are the people who want to take your guns

    Refer to exhibit A on why we need to be armed.

    1. I wouldn’t call that a groundswell of protestors.

    2. Festus

      Ugh. So sick of this and I don’t even have a dog in the fight.

    3. leon

      Call PETA They won’t stand for this harassment of a turtle.

    4. Suthenboy

      If a cop tells y ou that you don’t need a lawyer…you need a lawyer. If a leftist tells you that you don’t need to be armed….you need to be armed.
      These people are not your friends.

    5. Idle Hands

      I hate that goddamn website more than anything. It has to be the most annoying thing I’ve ever encountered in my life. And I’ve been to buzzfeed.

      1. It’s not as bad as buzzfeed because it validates my biases.

        /self-aware as to why I visit it.

    6. Rufus the Monocled

      What is this insanity of going to a politician’s home to protest? These people are truly delusional and dangerous fuckheads.

  19. PieInTheSky

    25% of Americans are disabled. So why aren’t the Democratic candidates talking about it?

    https://qz.com/1679748/disability-issues-are-absent-from-the-democratic-debate/

    is 25% really an accurate number? seems high to me

    1. It’s absolute bullshit.

      Unless you torture the definition of “Disabled” to include as many people as possible.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I think they’re being loose with term and applying it to all people who have conditions that might (but might not depending on a number of factors) qualify for disability.

        1. I have a very harsh definition of disabled which is “Physically and mentally unable to do anything productive.” It is the bottom of the range from baseline, through Handicapped and Crippled, which are limitations not completely preventing productive employment.

          My definition is not the legal standard, but even if we take the legal standard, we are nowhere near 25%.

      2. Not Adahn

        I believe people with unwaxed balls are a new category of disabled. I may have misread whatever internet story told me that.

      3. Festus

        My Brother makes more on disability than he would being gainfully employed. He sits in his shitty little hovel noodling on his guitars and smoking weed. Never had a driver’s licence, never had a spouse just a drug habit that earned him some Hep C and a fat bankroll from Uncle Sugar.

        1. WTF

          I’m so glad my exorbitant taxes are supporting that kind of shit.

          1. PieInTheSky

            I would say the rule of thumb should be if you have enough money to buy guns you are not paying enough taxes

          2. WTF

            You sound like you’re from the government, you’re here to “help”.

          3. I am, and Pie is wrong. It actually goes – If you have money to spend, clearly you can afford to pay more taxes, and if you live frugally, clearly you have funds stashed away that can be surrendered to your betters.

          4. WTF

            UCS knows how to manage tax cattle!

        2. Suthenboy

          People respond to incentives. Different people see incentives differently.

      4. AlexinCT

        Unless you torture the definition of “Disabled” to include as many people as possible.

        is it still tortured if your definition is massaged to allow people that want free shit and don’t want to work for it? Cause a lot of people sucking at the government’s teat seem to suffer from a serious case of disability when it comes to any kind of work ethic.

      5. Jarflax

        Unless you torture the definition of “Disabled” to include as many people as possible.

        How the hell do you think Bill Clinton managed to ‘end’ welfare? The feds just moved all the general support recipients onto the disability rolls. Obesity is a disability, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, etc. The ADA is up there with The Patriot Act and Obamacare as a nail in the coffin of liberty.

        1. Ja – old high school friend of mine suffers from migraines and anxiety. He gets disability benefits. Sits around his condo, which his parents own, and listens to his expensive stereo, watches TV, and runs errands for his folks. It sounds like prison to me.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          ^^^^ fuck zombie HW with rusty burning chainsaw

          Local parasites are ripping up perfectly good sidewalks and making them more dangerous in the name of ADA compliance thanks to legal threats of some jackass disability activists.

    2. kbolino

      It’s almost certainly an extrapolation from the same sort of “study” that manufactured the campus rape epidemic. Ask people a bunch of vague and leading questions, create an expansive definition, and voila every fourth person you meet is “disabled”.

    3. There seem to be a lot of cases where someone is “disabled” because their morbid obesity has rendered them functionally immobile.

      1. Suthenboy

        Obese. Bi-polar. PTSD. Depressed. etc etc
        Everyone is disabled and needs a support animal.

        I have RA. I have a touch of PTSD (seriously I am still having godawful nightmares) but I would rather crawl off in a ditch and die than get a HC sticker and take a parking space from some guy in a wheelchair or take money from the govt who would be all in my business. Fuck off and leave me alone.

        1. kbolino

          I have a theory that every government program “works” for 1-2 generations before getting totally abused. The first generation to get Social Security checks treated them quite differently than people today do. Ditto handicapped privileges like parking spaces and automatic doors, ambulance chasers and other rent-seeking lawyers notwithstanding.

          1. Akira

            handicapped privileges like parking spaces

            Tell me about it. A co-worker of mine had some surgery for a pinched nerve in his neck. He drove himself home from the surgery, and at no point was he physically impaired at all (save for maybe having to avoid Brazilian jiu-jitsu for a while).

            He just asked the doctor if he could get a handicap tag, and the doctor was like “Yea, sure.” Boom – handicap parking for five years.

        2. A friend of mine has had and still has absolutely crippling anxiety, which is ironic because he’s the most charismatic dude I’ve ever met, like best friends with everyone at the bar five minutes after he walks in type of guy. He probably could’ve landed some kind of disability check, but instead he went to therapy and started a moving company.

          1. That’s how you handle such issues. Good on him.

          2. Rasilio

            on a related note I once had a friend who had “crippling anxiety”

            Lived in a YMCA shelter, collected welfare, spent his meager amount of spending money on renting video games. I convinced him that he was a plenty smart enough guy (and he was) that he should at least go to college, since I knew him from hanging out at the college gaming club. So he gets grants and takes out loans to start going to school, then he decides to spend the loan money on a trip to Gen Con and drops out of school on the day of his first test because he couldn’t handle the test anxiety.

            Telling him he was disabled didn’t help him, yeah it put money in his pocket but it destroyed him because from that minute on he had an excuse to never even try at anything in life and a government willing to see to his needs so he didn’t pay any real penalty for that.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      During the big economic collapse in ’08, didn’t a shit ton of people all of a sudden get a “disability” once their unemployment bennies ran out? That way they could keep that money flowing.

  20. What is 8chan? The site used by the suspected El Paso shooter has a new host

    8chan is a controversial internet message board that has been cutting in and out since the security company Cloudflare that used to protect them refused to do so anymore Saturday’s mass shooting. Without Cloudflare, the site is vulnerable to attacks that leave it inaccessible. But according to reports, the site found a new host Monday.

    8chan has been connected to the suspect in the Synagogue shooting in Poway, California, and the mosque attack in Christchurch, New Zealand. Experts said the website is like the “wild west” of the internet.

    “It’s not like you’re going to a high-class cocktail party,” said UofSC School of Journalism Senior Instructor Doug Fisher. “It’s like you’re going to bar at 3 a.m. and you have a fight break out,”

    Allison Padilla-Goodman, the Southeast Regional Director of the Anti-Defamation League echoed that sentiment and called it the “cesspool of the internet.”

    Fisher said the platform is “libertarian” in nature and believes in completely unregulated speech. The unfiltered message board is accessible to everyone. When it is online, users can simply put 8chan in a search engine and post to the site.

    Padilla-Goodman said the accessibility and access of regulation leaves room for extremism.

    What’s Freedom of Speech again? How quaint.

    1. leon

      ““It’s not like you’re going to a high-class cocktail party,” said UofSC School of Journalism Senior Instructor Doug Fisher. ”

      Doug Fisher is either trolling us or is one of us…

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      “Experts said the website is like the “wild west” of the internet.”

      “Experts”.

      Consensus by the experts is 5 out of every 4 dentists agree that climate change is real and bad and keeps people from erasing the second amendment.

    3. Festus

      “Let’s break up the monopolies and remake them in our own image!” said every statist every time.

      1. AlexinCT

        ^^^^THIS^^^^

    4. Slammer

      4chan is having a ball with the 8chan situation.

      “Fuck off, we’re full”

      “Go to Reddit”

      “OMG we’re next”

      People are saying 8chan is still up somewhere, you just have to know how to get there. But I have no interest in finding out. Im an oldfag from 4chan, never did the 8

      1. They found a new hosting provider.

        1. kbolino

          Cloudflare is not a hosting provider. Their primary service is protection against DoS attacks.

          1. They were Also kicked off their hosting provider. I didn’t mention the loss of cloudflare protection, because it was less important to them being back online.

          2. kbolino

            Fair enough. All of the coverage has been focusing on Cloudflare dropping them, so I thought it might be a case of the news getting basic facts wrong.

      2. PieInTheSky

        I never really understood any of them reddit including. Then again before glibs I never really commented extensively anywhere… I mean now I kinda of sort of get a community forms or some shit …

        1. Rhywun

          Reddit is a perfectly cromulent source of lots of technical info when I do a search for some programming or computer question. I don’t go there for anything else.

    1. straffinrun

      Eugene Levy could do the same act as Trump.

    2. Timeloose

      Oh no Usbeks drank my battery fluid!!! I really liked that show. John Candy as grown up leave it to Beaver. Mr. Cleaver drinking Whiskey on his cereal.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9dKYxkYYXM

  21. PieInTheSky

    This mother fucker has a side quest, I know it.

    https://twitter.com/klara_sjo/status/1158288029397782528

    this amused me

      1. Count Potato

        BOOBS

      2. Scroll down for the girl in the black latex.

  22. Aloysious

    Hail Zardoz.

    Nice hat.

  23. Help! My Stepfather Told Me He Had a Sex Dream About Me.

    Q. My stepfather told me he had a sex dream about me: I’m a 30-year-old trans man and am on vacation with my mom and stepdad (they married after I was already an adult). Yesterday morning, my stepdad described a sex dream he had about me in graphic detail. I have no idea what to do. I trusted him and felt safer with him than with my biological father. Not only do I feel disgusted and violated, but I feel like I just lost what I thought was a good relationship with a good man. What do I do? How do I tell my mom?

    1. straffinrun

      Congratulate him for his brave courage?

    2. PieInTheSky

      this seems unlikely to me…

      1. AlexinCT

        Yeah, this sort of shit seems like the attention getting asshat looking for more attention…

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Seems like a good basis for a sitcom.

      1. straffinrun

        Square pegs.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          That’s taken, but maybe you could use something similar? Round Holes

    4. Old Man With Candy

      I can never keep track- is a trans man a chick who had a dick sewn on or a dude who who had a dick cut off?

      I must confess that I’ve never had a sex dream about my non-trans stepchildren. Does that make me a bad person?

      1. The convention seems to be the term after the trans is what they are pretending to be.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I believe it’s a chick pretending to be a man with still functional chick parts.

        1. AlexinCT

          So if xhe pees standing up, xhe makes a mess?

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      “What do I do? How do I tell my mom?”

      Clears throat.

      Aks for a…..threesome?

      1. AlexinCT

        Freaking evil muppets.

    6. Nephilium

      Show them one of the (most likely) hundreds thousands of porn videos about it?

    7. Pope Jimbo

      So is the complainer more upset by her father’s a) incest tendencies or b) his homosexuality?

      (of course he is gay, because the complainer clearly believes that he is a man)

    8. ” My stepfather told me he had a sex dream about me: I’m a 30-year-old trans man and am on vacation with my mom and stepdad ”

      I wish John Hughes was still alive.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Texas wants you to die

    Ten new pro-gun laws will take effect in Texas in four weeks, less than a month after 22 people died in a mass shooting at a Walmart in El Paso.

    Gov. Greg Abbott signed the measures after they were passed in a 2019 legislative session that the National Rifle Association, or NRA, called “highly successful” at the time, celebrating that the measures “will further loosen Texas’ permissive gun laws” and would send the “gun control crowd home empty-handed.”

    Texas is home to almost 1.4 million holders of active firearm licenses, and five of the 20 deadliest mass shootings in the United States since 1900 have occurred in the state. Among them is the rampage in El Paso, where authorities said Monday that the number of deaths had risen to 22.

    —–

    The NRA did heavily influence the political process in Texas, however, lobbying for all 10 of the new bills, some of which will make it easier to store or carry guns in foster homes and on church and public school grounds:

    Texas gets rid of stupid laws. NBC News wants you to freak out.

    Texas had previously permitted approved foster parents to keep licensed firearms in their homes, but only if weapons and ammunition were stored in separate locked locations. The new law allows guns and ammunition to be stored together in the same locked location — a protocol that is discouraged by the pro-gun National Shooting Sports Foundation.

    Uh huh. Why don’t they require the gun to be broken down, with the parts kept in locked containers in separate rooms? I’d be more concerned about “safe storage” if there were children around, but there aren’t, so I’m not.

    1. kbolino

      a protocol that is discouraged by the pro-gun National Shooting Sports Foundation

      Not knowing anything about this organization off the bat except its name, this isn’t exactly surprising. Shooting guns for fun is cool and all but a bit beside the point of the right to keep and bear arms. This reminds me a bit about the distinction between a libertarian and a libertine. The former supports a right out of principle, the latter out of hedonism. And a hedonist will protect his own fun at the expense of the rights of others.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Making it easier to carry firearms where there are large concentrations of people is an unalloyed good.

      1. ^This. People who you don’t want to carry firearms around large groups of people will do so regardless of the laws, so the last thing you want to do is disarm the law-abiding citizens that will potentially be the victims.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Now they’re pushing for a full handgun ban. Who could have seen that coming?

        1. AlexinCT

          If you for a second believe this whole shitshow isn’t about using every tragedy caused by evil people as a means to disarming the law abiding citizens, then you have not been paying attention.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      It’s funny that in the state of true and free men that they can never get to the simple prospect of freedom. I support all the revisions, but, as I’ve bitched many times before, real cowboys never needed all those details and exceptions to freedom in the first place and never had the church-lady urge to lord over their neighbors. So here is the latest batch of laws which, like most other batches, will seemingly conflict or at least confuse the hell out of some innocent, cop, and prosecutor as all other batches always have.

      It’s just too hard to pass a law rescinding ALL the old stupid laws about status and posture and go back to minding your own business. The answer is, of course, de facto constitutional carry; the problem with Texas is that it should be front and center on this, lecturing and laughing at lesser states that don’t understand and must have twenty laws and seven forms and what if I see something say something bullshit. Instead, they’ve got this flesh-eating infection of laws that must be trimmed back, slowly, operation after operation, until the attack is staunched and the core can survive.

      Principles are simple; most things that aren’t simple aren’t principled: no state needs 17 laws about guns.

      1. Yeah but it’s not cowboys in the legislature. It never is. It’s the type of people who are attracted to the technical exercise of power for one reason or another who end up making the laws, and unfortunately most people who even bother to vote are either too stupid to understand who they’re voting for or are perfectly comfortable with the situation so long as they can get the state to make their neighbors do what they want them to do.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          You’re telling me that the Lege is full of shit ?

          math FWIW: In a recent year, rancher/ag was the fifth most prominent occupation of legislators.

    4. Suthenboy

      “Texas is home to almost 1.4 million holders of active firearm licenses, and five of the 20 deadliest mass shootings in the United States since 1900 have occurred in the state.”

      Any of those shooters have active firearm licenses? Any of them slip past background checks? Any connection between permissive laws, restrictive laws and crazy people going on mass murder sprees? Let’s ask Connecticut. Or we could just knock the living fuck out of this lying shitweasel Alex Johnson. You want more defenseless victims Alex? Let’s see how many kicks it take to make shit come out of your nose.

  25. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: Short and to the Point

    Yes DU is one of the few places to go for a dose of sanity.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Huh, upon reading that thread it strikes me that they’re the retarded version of us.

      1. Like evil Spock but no beard?

        1. WTF

          Or maybe retarded Spock with neckbeard.

          1. Suthenboy

            And adult diapers.

        2. Nephilium

          More like a dumber version of Bizarro.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Glue sniffers. I know it.

  26. bacon-magic

    Great Zardoz skit!

  27. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: Making DU Seem Sane

    The irony of accusing socialists of wanting “free stuff” is that capitalism lives on free stuff: labor, nature, the work of social reproduction. Capital exists because something is unpaid: if capital ever paid a worker the whole value of their work, it would cease to exist.

    1. That’s breathtakingly stupid. I have nothing.

    2. I previously wrote A ramble that rebutted the premise.

      I know I like to repeat myself, but it was a bit long.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      How can you even construct a rebuttal to that? It’s impossible. It’s a dead-end. It’s saying the sky is black and only black.

      Someone or something (s), somewhere, somehow failed these people.

      1. Suthenboy

        Someone or something? Genetics?

    4. Akira

      if capital ever paid a worker the whole value of their work, it would cease to exist.

      Gotta love that implied Labor Theory of Value.

      1. AlexinCT

        Woo hoo I am making a million bucks shining turds!

  28. America has a housing segregation problem. Seattle may just have the solution.

    So in Seattle, the researchers put a twist on the housing voucher system. For this experiment, a random subset of people receiving vouchers for the first time would get more than just the rental subsidy. They would also be given information on which neighborhoods promise the most opportunity for their kids, based on the research data. They’d also be assigned “navigators” whose job it was to walk them through the apartment application process, and receive additional financial assistance with down payments if necessary.

    It’s a simple intervention — and, more than a year in, it looks like it yielded big results.

    The experiment found that the additional support raised the share of families moving to high-opportunity neighborhoods from 14 percent to 54 percent. “This is the largest effect I’ve ever seen in a social science intervention,” Chetty said in an email.

    It’s also an experiment that has left participants with an overwhelmingly positive experience with a government bureaucracy for once. “People say that Seattleites don’t smile at you, or look up to say hi to you, but these people were really, really nice,” Nikki Manlapaz, a mother who moved from a low- to high-opportunity neighborhood through the program. “They just took all the worry and stress away from me.”

    If it can be replicated at scale, the experimenters may have hit on a powerful new tool for dismantling residential segregation in the United States.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      “This is the largest effect I’ve ever seen in a social science intervention,”

      There has to be a Bobby Bittman joke in there somewhere.

    2. You will find your ‘high opportunity’ districts will empty of opportunities as the crime rate increases and people flee the jurisdiction.

      The natural sorting of the population isn’t something to be “fixed”.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        They just need to pass a law that makes it very difficult to move.

        1. Fourscore

          Lower the rent.

    3. WTF

      So, this just sounds like moving people into neighborhoods that they can’t actually afford on their own. Unless I’m missing something, this sort of thing generally doesn’t work out well in the long term.

      1. Once you pass a certain threshold, the people whose neighborhood is becoming lower class will move out, and begin a precipitous decline. Then the cycle starts anew wherever they fled to because the meddlers can’t ever stop meddling.

        1. Semi-Spartan Dad

          There is a neighborhood in Norfolk, called Park Place, that was once one of the richest areas of the city. Decades ago, the government began subsidizing housing there and nearby. Lo and behold, the residents fled to Va Beach. Now Park Place is a dangerous, run down ghetto filled with drugs and gang activity. It’s become one step above public housing.

          Recently Old Dominion University has started buying up land there to expand since it’s so cheap. Students have buying houses for the same reason. I guess it’s slowly gentrifying, but there have been a lot of home invasions and armed robberies in the meantime. A friend of mine lost his 2 pitbulls from poisoned meat thrown over the fence while living there (prep for a robbery).

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Pols love to export people from the crime-ridden areas to non-crime-ridden areas just knowing in their hearts that they will change their culture without any other prompting.

            It’s great really, the ghetto dwellers get a subsidized way out, the recipient neighborhoods don’t dare say a word lest they be called elitist or racist, and everybody else just ignores reality. Can’t lose.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Nikki’s stress is only beginning.

      3. Pope Jimbo

        I don’t know if it is even financial. Sounds more like these people couldn’t even be bothered to do any of their own research into where they should move. They had to wait until Big Govt Daddy stepped in and told them where the nice places were, then filled out their application forms for them and finally helped them with the first and last month’s rent.

        But I’m sure that people who didn’t give a shit about where they lived will be all over making sure their kids show up to school prepared and ready to learn. So those new kids won’t be any drag in their new schools.

        1. WTF

          And they won’t bring their behaviors from the old neighborhood with them, which made the old neighborhood less desirable, and totally won’t affect the new neighborhood.

      4. Jarflax

        Unless I’m missing something, this sort of thing generally doesn’t work out well in the long term.

        You are missing something. There are some very, very wealthy families that have made their wealth by the neighborhood destruction, gentrification cycle. Step one, move subsidized housing into a geographically and/or architecturally appealing neighborhood. Step two watch nature take its course. Step three buy up vacant/blighted property. (it helps to have an in with code enforcement so you can a. drive out unconnected competitors and b. avoid fines yourself) Step four designate the blighted area as a special opportunity zone, bonus points if you can get a major government development/infrastructure project. Step five, enjoy owning a ton of property that is now high end.

        1. WTF

          Well sure, it can work out well for connected grifters.

      5. Sean

        “HOAs are tools of white supremacy!”

        *Rheee*

        1. Contrarian P

          Everything is a tool of white supremacy. Didn’t you get the memo?

    4. So block-busting, IOW. Isn’t that illegal in most places?

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Is it really so bad that you keep all the apathetic shitheads living with each other in one place? I don’t see the benefits of spreading these knuckleheads out across the entire region.

    6. Rhywun

      left participants with an overwhelmingly positive experience with a government bureaucracy for once

      *swoon*

  29. Pope Jimbo

    A too local story about one our local universities (really just a jumped up technical college).

    The university’s student senate has been suspended/disbanded because three student senators got a bug up their ass about the administration not filling vacancies for minority student support services quickly enough.

    The dispute began last August, when Martinez, vice president Leonel Mejia and another senator, Juan Gomez, complained to administrators about vacancies in several positions that serve minority students.

    Gomez, a graduate student, said the university touts itself as a welcoming place for students of color.

    “The reality is, you find empty offices,” he said in an interview.

    The three Latino senators wanted to discuss the matter again at the October meeting but were put off by the presence of the school president and other administrators, who had attended the meeting specifically to hear their concerns.

    There are a LOT of other choice quotes in there as the reporter tries to not type “Christ, what an asshole”

    1. Chipwooder

      The kind of people who go into student government are low rent authoritarians, almost without exception.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Metropolitan State University hasn’t had a functioning representative student government since October

      How are the students coping w/o the government there to lead them?

      1. Not Adahn

        Isn’t that where Clark Kent got his degree?

        1. Naw, he doesn’t have a fancy journalamalism degree.

    3. PieInTheSky

      jumped up technical college – a good technical college can be superior to many a university

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Sorry Pie. I didn’t mean anything negative by that comment. I was just trying to give you foreigners an idea of what Metropolitan U is like. They are the local choice for people who have figure out later in life that they want to get a degree, but don’t want to go through the hassle/expense of enrolling in a traditional college.

        Their classes are focused on people trying to learn skills to get a specific job once they graduate. They are a great option for non-traditional students.

  30. So here’s a thought. Might it be that the heightened, feverish rhetoric of people yelling about fascists and Nazis and rampant racism riles up the loons on both sides of the aisle? When you say that, say, the president is actively promoting a neo-Nazi agenda to kill immigrants and enact white supremacy, maybe that moves the needle for three groups: people who hate Nazis, people who are Nazis, and people who are sick of being called Nazis. And maybe it’s worse now than it’s ever been because you have entire news networks validating these claims.

    1. WTF

      And is it possible that the constant marginalization, demonization, degradation, dehumanizing, and delegitimizing of white people in general and white males in particular by the left and their media allies helps to push some of the fringe white nationalist types over the edge?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s most of it I’d say and it’s only going to get worse.

      2. +1 Nothing Left to Lose

    2. Rhywun

      It’s hard to see this as anything less than the MSM deliberating trying to stir shit up.

      1. I’m not quite at full tinfoil hat yet, but I’m definitely at believing that the networks and the media figures have zero moral qualms about ginning up outrage in order to get attention. Granted, I don’t pay much attention to the mainstream media any more, but I’m not aware of anyone with the big news organizations who still does genuine investigative reporting. It’s all the Buzzfeed model now. Not that it was ever really unbiased, but now you’ve got the cable news networks not even bothering to pretend anymore.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    A slow trickle from Dayton

    Police had not determined a motive for the attack as of Monday evening. Reports linked him to Antifa, and showed that he supported Massachusetts Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

    Betts was armed with an AR-15-style rifle, police said. If all of the magazines he had with him were full, which hasn’t been confirmed, he would have had a maximum of 250 rounds, said Police Chief Richard Biehl.

    “It is fundamentally problematic. To have that level of weaponry in a civilian environment is problematic,” Biehl added.

    Of the more than 30 people injured in Ohio, at least 14 had gunshot wounds; others were hurt as people fled, city officials said. Eleven remained hospitalized Monday, Fire Chief Jeffrey Payne said.

    Still unknown is whether Betts targeted any of the victims, including his 22-year-old sister, Megan, the youngest of the dead.

    “It seems to just defy believability he would shoot his own sister, but it’s also hard to believe that he didn’t recognize it was his sister, so we just don’t know,” Biehl said.

    While the gunman was white and six of the nine killed were black, police said the speed of the rampage made any discrimination in the shooting seem unlikely.

    Hard to believe. I wonder if we will come to learn he knew those other people.

    1. I’m stunned to find that the police chief wants to disarm the public. God forbid they should muscle in on his racket.

    2. I’m sorry, but I’ve known more than a few people who’d deliberately aim for their siblings first.

    3. Drake

      So both were commie Antifa types. I look forward to the NBC News investigation.

      1. AlexinCT

        You will be lucky if they are cowed into providing any kind of correction instead of just continuing to peddle the same old lies.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Unfortunately there’s nothing special about that, people kill their own family members all the time.

      1. leon

        ITS A MYSTERY. WE WILL NEVER KNOW HIS MOTIVE.

        1. AlexinCT

          Bitch ate my cheerios!

    5. whiz

      “To have that level of weaponry in a civilian environment is problematic,” Biehl added.

      Really? Just one AR-15? And I never have owned guns, but wouldn’t someone have at least that many rounds just for practice at the shooting range?

      1. I’ve gone through 200 rounds of 7.62×39 in under an hour sighting in a rifle, so that’s firing a round, asking my friend with the scope how far off I am, adjusting a sight, firing a round, etc., until it’s zeroed in.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        To have that level of weaponry in a civilian environment is problematic,” Biehl added.

        Now do cops, who are also civilians.

        (Of course politicians “cops” like chief here would throw his rank and file under the bus if it would help him in any way)

  32. The Late P Brooks

    If it can be replicated at scale, the experimenters may have hit on a powerful new tool for dismantling residential segregation in the United States.

    Until thousands of rental units inexplicably disappear from the market.

  33. Certified Public Asshat

    Splinter tells us why Neil deGrasse Tyson is wrong

    If Tyson had any particular expertise on this subject, he’d probably know that downplaying mass shootings and pointing instead to pistol homicides is a favorite bad-faith talking point of Second Amendment purists. They love to point to the fact that the majority of American gun violence takes place in urban areas like Chicago, which has strict gun laws. They won’t dare suggest that you should take handguns away from people, but they’ll certainly suggest that gun violence is actually all the fault of black people who get guns illegally (Chicago’s strict gun laws do nothing to curb the flow of guns legally purchased in neighboring states), which in turn is held up as proof that gun control laws don’t work. It’s fodder for reductive, bad-faith arguments that belie the research we have into the actual causes of gun violence (the presence of guns themselves, mostly).

    1. leon

      “actual causes of gun violence (the presence of guns themselves, mostly).”

      I care more about the causes of violence, not the tool chosen.

      “They love to point to the fact that the majority of American gun violence takes place in urban areas like Chicago, which has strict gun laws. ”

      Nothing she says refutes that. She simply complains about Hoosier arms dealers. Who is arguing in bad faith?

      1. WTF

        And ignores the fact that Indiana doesn’t have the same problem as Chicago, which refutes her main point.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Well the Hoosiers don’t have guns anymore. They sold them all to the people in Chicago. That is why they don’t have a gun problem.

        2. Urthona

          Indiana does have the same problem as Chicago though. They have a much higher than average murder rate.

          1. WTF

            Murder rates:
            Indiana: 6/100K
            Illinois: 7.8/100K
            Chicago: 17.5/100K

        3. Chipwooder

          Vermont for a long time had the weakest gun laws in the country and very low levels of violence.

      2. Guns cause violence, huh? Sweet, then I’m going to leave my lawn mower out front and see what happens.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      But they sure love to cite him when it suits them, eh?

      What the heck is a ‘second amendment purist’? The amendment says what it is. Don’t like it CHANGE IT.

      These people are obnoxious.

      And no, that is not the ‘actual cause’ because the truth is we really don’t know. Even up here in Control-land Canada the research is suspect on the subject.

      So we rely on an animus interpretation. That is, inanimate object bad, ban bad object, feel good.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Why change it when you can legislate it away which is exactly what they’re doing.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      “Splinter: The Truth Hurts”

      Well, our version anyway.

  34. Dayton shooter Connor Betts ‘was a socialist and Satan worshipper who joked about beheading oil executives’, suspended Twitter account reveals

    The Dayton gunman who killed nine people was a leftist who demanded socialism, joked about beheading oil executives and rambled about Satan, according to what appears to be his Twitter account.

    Connor Betts was shot dead by police after opening fire in the early hours of Sunday and no clear motive has emerged so far.

    Friends have said he ‘leaned to the left’ and – ironically – supported gun control, and the Twitter account appears to offer greater insights into his views.

    The account was last active on Saturday when Betts seemingly retweeted a post saying that ‘Millennials have a message for the Joe Biden generation: hurry up and die’.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      He sounds like he was quite a pleasant fellow.

    2. straffinrun

      “Victim of shooting had previously begged for gun control”

    3. commodious spittoon

      The Dayton gunman who killed nine people was a leftist who demanded socialism lunatic who murdered nine people.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Thank you

      2. leon

        TY

      3. Crusty Juggler

        YOU ARE HIDING HIS LEFTISM TO FURTHER YOUR AGENDA, THAT’S WHAT MATTERS!

      4. WTF

        leftist who demanded socialism : lunatic
        tomayto : tomahto

  35. The Late P Brooks

    If Tyson had any particular expertise on this subject, he’d probably know that downplaying mass shootings and pointing instead to pistol homicides is a favorite bad-faith talking point of Second Amendment purists. They love to point to the fact that the majority of American gun violence takes place in urban areas like Chicago, which has strict gun laws.

    Yes, of course. Nothing says “bad faith argument” like pointing out the utter abject failure of the multitude of laws already on the books.

    We’re just not hitting it hard enough. We need a bigger hammer.

  36. Crusty Juggler

    This sting ray-shaped vibrator is the non-gendered future of sex toys

    Throughout history, the sex toy industry has been traditionally dominated by men. The lack of female and non-binary influence in the design of sex toys has led to the idea that it’s a simple game of “one-size-fits-all,” which obviously isn’t the case.

    But now, in light of an increased cultural awareness of non-binary gender identities, innovative sex toy designs are making pleasure more accessible for everyone. One company striving to make the sex toy industry more inclusive is Wild Flower, a non-binary sex toy retailer and digital community providing sex education to those who have been overlooked by the adult industry. Founded by Amy Boyajian and Nick Boyajian, Wild Flower recently released its first sex toy for all genders called, Enby. The idea came after a close friend had gone through bottom gender affirmation surgery and could no longer use typically gendered sex toys.

    “She told us she had to get an entire new set of toys for her changing body. This was a big moment for us – we realized we wanted to create a toy that could take you through all stages of life, no matter your anatomy or identity,” Amy Boyajian told TNW.

    Capitalism, bro.

    1. “one size fits all”? Has this auther even glanced in the direction of a store selling these products? There is more deviation and variance in their design than virtually any other single category of consumer good.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Obvi a bigot.

      2. Contrarian P

        Forget it, she’s rolling.

    2. l0b0t

      “So many sex toy names, product descriptions, and marketing images are filled with gendered language and stereotypes.”

      In the dildo and rubber pussy industry? Well, I never!?! {Clutches pearls, faints on to couch}

      1. AlexinCT

        Well played!

    3. “the sex toy industry has been traditionally dominated by men”

      BULLSHIT

      Vibrators and dildoes of a million varieties have been around for how long? And the Fleshlight (the first largescale specific male sex toy that I know of) came out, what, maybe ten years ago?

      Even now go to Adam and Eve or your local sex shop and 80%+ of the toys will be specific to females.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Look, if you challenge their strawmen, you’re a shitlord. So just stop doing it, ok?

    4. R C Dean

      “bottom gender affirmation surgery”

      Say what now?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s the technical term for malpractice.

      2. Jarflax

        I think that is when a Pimp declares you his bottom bitch.

        1. AlexinCT

          Does that come with free healthcare and college?

      3. Crusty Juggler

        The first two diagrams from Hopkins that game up in the google search:

        1, and 2 (check out the dong hang on this guy).

    5. Private Chipperbot
    6. Rasilio

      Throughout history, the sex toy industry has been traditionally dominated by men

      ???

      Has this person ever been in a sex toy shop? There are literally hundreds of different models of dildos and vibrators and clit stimulators and other varieties of toys designed primarily for women and then maybe 6 different models of fleshlight like toys for men.

      Also, you can call yourself non binary all you like, no matter what you pretty much have 2 options for sexual stimulation

  37. The Late P Brooks

    The idea came after a close friend had gone through bottom gender affirmation surgery and could no longer use typically gendered sex toys.

    Oh.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      gender affirmation

      “I’m [fe]male enough. I’m sane enough. Doggone it, people are attracted to me.”

  38. Crusty Juggler

    Party on: Syracuse University named No. 1 party school again

    syracuse’s Logo
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    Central NY News

    Party on: Syracuse University named No. 1 party school again
    Updated Aug 5, 5:22 PM; Posted Aug 5, 12:00 PM
    Syracuse University students celebrate Mayfest 2017 at Walnut Park in Syracuse, April 28, 2017. Michael Greenlar | mgreenlar@syracuse.com

    SYR

    Syracuse University students celebrate Mayfest 2017 at Walnut Park in Syracuse, April 28, 2017. Michael Greenlar | mgreenlar@syracuse.com
    6.9k shares

    By Geoff Herbert | gherbert@syracuse.com

    Syracuse University is back on top as the No. 1 party school in America.

    The Princeton Review released its list of 2019 party school rankings on Monday, and SU topped the list for the first time since 2014. Syracuse has been in the top 10 for eight years in a row, coming in fourth place for the past two years.

    In other party categories, Syracuse ranked No. 2 for “lots of hard liquor,” No. 8 for “lots of beer,” No. 19 for “reefer madness” and No. 18 for Greek life. SU also scored highly thanks to Syracuse basketball and football fans, ranking No. 3 in the nation for school spirit (“students pack the stadiums”).

    Strong Island goes north!

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Oh. This post was a disaster. Stop it from happening, moderator!

      1. Jarflax

        Revanchist!

    2. Fake news. Princeton Review obviously forgot that the state of Arizona exists.

      Though I heartily approve of the girl in the striped shirt.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        You clearly underestimate the fact that there is very little to do other than party when it is snowing, which when I went to school in Syracuse (not SU though – I’m no Jew) happened twenty-one days in a row.

    3. AlexinCT

      Oh, how that shithole has changed in the nearly 4 decades ago since I attended its vaunted halls of academia….

  39. Once upon a time on Titty Tuesday tits rained down from Heaven. And it was good.

    http://archive.is/UFlEV

  40. For the drinkers, yesterday I bought a bottle of Waterloo Antique Gin

    Building on centuries of traditional Dutch jenevers distillers—thought by many to be the origin of gin—Treaty Oak ages Waterloo Antique gin in medium-char, white oak barrels to create body and complexity of flavor and a robust mouth-feel unusual in gin. It’s a dash of whiskey richness in a crisp gin flavor.

    It’s a real treat with just some tonic even with no lime. Could also be used – which I haven’t tested yet – to make an Old Fashioned. It is a bit smokey flavored which may put off some drinkers. But right now, I’ll give it higher marks than my favorite Gray Skies. Also a nice treat / break from another favorite, Hendricks.

    1. l0b0t

      I once had a roommate, a tall, skinny skinhead from GA who fronted a decent rockabilly band; when he got moody, he liked to sit in the dark and sip Bombay Sapphire straight from the bottle. I wanted to like gin. I tried to like gin. I just can’t develop a taste for it.

      1. Bad gin tastes like Pine Sol.

        1. All the Gin I’ve tried tastes like twigs.

          1. l0b0t

            #metoo

            Although to be fair, I will still try nice gins when offered. I like the components of gin, I’m fascinated by the process of its creation, But, yeah… it all tastes like I’m drinking a hike through the mountains. Tonic water is worse. Tonic water is pure poison and was only meant as an archaic malarial prophylaxis, not a potable.

      2. Semi-Spartan Dad

        There’s nothing wrong with not liking the taste of pine trees.

      3. Chipwooder

        Guess I’m one of the few gin drinkers here, then.

        1. R C Dean

          Count me in, too.

          1. Rhywun

            ??‍♂️

          2. Sean

            #metoo

          3. Tundra

            Of course I do!

          4. AlexinCT

            Raises hand..

          5. Gustave Lytton

            Me! And I have two bottles of genever in the cupboard.

          6. Nephilium

            Add me to the list as well.

          7. sk

            Add me as well.
            For those who dislike tonic, amongst whom I number myself, try it with 7-Up or a lemony soda, with a twist, or slice, of lemon. Perfect for hot summer days.

      4. I like Boodles.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs!

    After two gruesome mass shootings in a 24-hour span, some Republicans are raising alarms that their opposition to new firearm limits is making the party toxic to the suburban women and college graduates who will shape the 2020 election.

    “Republicans are headed for extinction in the suburbs if they don’t distance themselves from the NRA. The GOP needs to put forth solutions to help eradicate the gun violence epidemic,” said Dan Eberhart, a Republican donor and oil-and-gas executive who supports President Donald Trump.

    Last year, Eberhart said, he was having lunch with Rick Scott when the then-Florida governor learned of the massacre unfolding in Parkland. It marked the deadliest high school shooting in U.S. history, as a gunman used an AR-15-style rifle to kill 17 people. Eighteen months later, as the country reels from killing sprees in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio, Eberhart said it’s time to join Democrats and majorities of Americans who want to ban those types of guns.

    “The GOP needs to make several moves such as universal background checks, eliminating loopholes and banning military-style assault weapons to neutralize the issue,” he said. “Otherwise, Republicans will lose suburban voters just like they did in the midterms on health care.”

    NEEDZ MOAR HARRUMPHS

    1. Raston Bot

      NOPE.

      that way lies political suicide.

    2. leon

      “said Dan Eberhart, a Republican donor and oil-and-gas executive who supports President Donald Trump.”

      And he obviously knows what’s best. Fuck the Republicans. Liberty loving people are on their own and have been for a long time. No politician will save them, they must defend their rights themselves.

    3. Chipwooder

      Eighteen months later, as the country reels from killing sprees in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio, Eberhart said it’s time to join Democrats and majorities of Americans who want to ban those types of guns.

      Let me put this as plainly and succinctly as I can: go fuck yourself.

      1. leon

        You know what else a majority of Americans have wanted to ban?

      2. Rhywun

        Why can’t you just reel like the rest of us, hater?

    4. How often has some dipshit warned of “the extinction of MUH RUHPUBLIKUNZ”? Somehow it never comes to pass…

  42. Talk of the County: Trump ‘is a breath of fresh air’

    Stop venting
    To the sad, must-have-no-life person obsessed with your daily, misdirected vitriol toward our president: You seem so bitter. I absolutely hated Obama. It would take five pages to list all the harm that he did to our country, and if you don’t know what I mean that’s proof that you have no clue. Yes, Trump is coarse. He speaks his mind. He talks directly to the people, not the Republicans or the Democrats. Our country was plummeting out of control. Trump is making waves. He’s getting things done. He’s putting our country back on top with jobs, economy and putting other nations on notice. He is a breath of fresh air. If Hillary was president, it would have been disastrous. So I ask you, stop venting for a while. And I would like to know who you want to see as president in 2020 and why.

    Seems familiar
    I am a blonde, blue-eyed, white female. I would have passed the test in Hitler’s Germany and obviously I pass the muster in Trump’s racist America. I am old enough to remember the purge in Europe by Hitler and it’s beginning to sound familiar in our country.

    Letters to the Editor makes democracy seem like a very bad idea. These days I’m letting my monarchist flag fly.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Curtis Yarvin seems more prescient with every passing tweet.

      1. l0b0t

        His thoughts on rotating monarchs CEOs and thousands of sovereign city-states are intriguing.

      2. PieInTheSky

        what he up to lately ?

    2. Jarflax

      Letters to the Editor makes democracy seem like a very bad idea. These days I’m letting my monarchist flag fly.

      Harry and Meghan, I refute you thus.

      1. I am totally in favor of a monarchy – if I am the monarch.

        Under all other conditions, I do not approve.

        1. AlexinCT

          This man gets it.

    3. Democracy is a very bad idea. That’s why we have a republic with (increasingly meaningless) constitutional limits.

      1. Jarflax

        Not to be difficult (ok, to be difficult) a republic neither implies, nor does it stand in opposition to, democracy. Both oligarchies and absolute democracies are republics.

        1. I’ll amend: a federal republic.

  43. Crusty Juggler

    What’s Really Behind the ‘White Supremacy’ Terrorism Scare

    What should frighten every American is that the emerging proposals to mitigate “white supremacy” include a jaw-dropping array of strong-arm tactics that will, in short order, violate the free speech rights of millions of Americans as the government and news media malign anyone they identify as sympathizing with “white supremacy.”

    If these measures are enacted, they will give legal and political cover to social media platforms to ban Trump officials, his supporters and perhaps even the president himself—they may extend to anyone in the Republican Party. Guns will be confiscated, careers ruined, and reputations irreparably destroyed. It will be the Kavanaugh hearing and show trials on steroids.

    Pending approval of a catalog of harsh policy prescriptions, the Democrats, the news media and NeverTrump Right will continue openly to brand any voter planning to reelect Donald Trump as a white supremacist. The social shame will be as destructive as any measures that could be taken by any law enforcement agency.

    And while the Trump haters scream at shadows and unleash the dogs of war, the real danger—how we address the mental, emotional and social defects in a generation of isolated young men—will be ignored just so #TheResistance can move poll numbers before November 2020.

    Our inner cities will continue to burn as urban violence destroys families and neighborhoods. The opioid epidemic, a true systemic threat to domestic tranquility, will rage throughout blighted communities unabated. Just like Russian collusion, our ruling class will busy themselves chasing apocryphal demons while America’s legitimate problems go unresolved.

    Who, exactly, are the real political terrorists in this scenario?

    1. Tundra

      Well, she’s partly right. This is yet another attempt to achieve the control that they have failed to achieve by other means.

      But then of course she has to dive into all the destruction and ‘epidemic’ bullshit.

      How about some conservative publicizing how breathtakingly effective liberty is at elevating even the lowest of the low? About how racial supremacy quickly becomes laughable in the face of unfettered competition and opportunity?

      Or is that not a conservative thing?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        “Or is that not a conservative thing?”

        It’s not a Trump-servative thing.

  44. AlmightyJB

    How dare you print what the President actually said instead of one of our talking point lies!

    https://www.foxnews.com/media/new-york-times-headline-trump

    1. Rhywun

      “Lives literally depend on you doing better, NYT. Please do,” wrote Sen. Cory Booker.

      OFFS.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Booker is a shitweasel, a wannabe Obama poser.

        1. Rhywun

          The dripping arrogance and condescension is nauseating. So, yup.

    2. Akira

      Prominent Democrats in Washington also took aim at the Times, including New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

      “Let this front page serve as a reminder of how white supremacy is aided by – and often relies upon – the cowardice of mainstream institutions,” the freshman congresswoman tweeted.

      Yes, that far-right, pro-Trump, white nationalist New York Times. Goddamn, if I had that kind of self-delusional power, I’d make myself believe that I’m a millionaire who bangs supermodels all night.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Senator Mitt Romney of Utah, the party’s 2012 presidential nominee, signaled openness to new gun laws on Sunday and said he wants to be a “constructive voice” in the debate.

    “These issues involve constitutional rights and deeply held beliefs – but that is not an excuse to shy away from a serious, fact-based, and thorough national discussion which will potentially lead to remedial legislation,” he said.

    Even that fire breathing libertarian absolutist Mitt Romney recognizes the dire necessity of common sense gun safety regulations? That settles it. I’m convinced.

    1. tarran

      Mitt Romney is the guy who signed the legislation that banned assault weapons here in MA permanently. As in we can’t legally purchase AR-15’s here thanks to that fucker.

      So gungrabbing progressive wants to ban guns. News at 11.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Mitt, of all people, should know better than to try to appease them.

      1. leon

        Mitt is a bitch, and the people of Utah are bigger fools for having elected him.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Fuck him and his carpetbagging ways. At least his father claimed he was brainwashed before doing an about face.

    3. wdalasio

      a serious, fact-based, and thorough national discussion

      In which actual facts are notably absent. In which intentions are treated as laws of physics. And in which citing actual research is seen as gauche.

      Sorry, Mitt, you can count me out on that one.

    4. Contrarian P

      What in the blue hell is a national discussion? I’ll go ahead and have one right now.

      Them: “Hello, we’d like to effectively remove your ability to buy and own weapons.”

      Me: “No.”

      Okay, discussion over. Thanks Mitt, you schmuck.

    5. Chipwooder

      Just a reminder that Mitt Romney always has and always will suck donkey balls.

  46. An Open Letter About Gun Violence to the Socialist Democrats

    So what has changed? Part of the answer is that now we have a 24-hour sensationalist news cycle that is driven by a political agenda and profits. As the old news saying goes, “if it bleeds it leads.”

    The larger contributing factor though is our decades-long decline in morality in America which has contributed far more to the mass violence incidents we have been experiencing than anything else. What was once considered deviant and unacceptable behavior has today become celebrated, even encouraged. As more and more letters of the alphabet are added to the list of protected sexual classes the nation grows more and more depraved.

    Human life has become so devalued that it is declared by the news media and the Socialist Democrats that killing a baby at the instant of full term birth for no other reason than “I changed my mind” is defended as a “right”. Socialist Democrats like Andrew Cuomo in New York were nearly giddy over the signing of a full term abortion bill into law in the Empire State. Others of his party have championed the murder of the most innocent of our society, our pre-birth children, as nothing more than squishing out a pimple on their face.

    Video games that depict gratuitous and graphic violence with body parts flying off in all directions after being blasted with a weapon are being played by young impressionable minds for hours every single day. The more ‘people’ you can blast away into lumps of blood and gore, the more points you score.

    1. Contrarian P

      Violent video games do not cause or worsen societal violence. It’s been studied, over and over again. This is one area where “anti-science” does seem to apply.

      1. wdalasio

        And neither do guns. The science there is just as consistent. The reality that nobody really wants to talk about is that we live in one of the safest times and places in human history. The objective reality is that there’s really not much to “do something” about.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Utopia is not yet achieved comrade.

        2. Contrarian P

          True. But since when has reality mattered?

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        If political rhetoric can be linked to violence (as we are led to believe) then naturally the same can be said for music and video games.

    2. The larger contributing factor though is our decades-long decline in morality in America which has contributed far more to the mass violence incidents we have been experiencing than anything else. What was once considered deviant and unacceptable behavior has today become celebrated, even encouraged.

      Okay, I’m on board.

      As more and more letters of the alphabet are added to the list of protected sexual classes the nation grows more and more depraved.

      Human life has become so devalued that it is declared by the news media and the Socialist Democrats that killing a baby at the instant of full term birth for no other reason than “I changed my mind” is defended as a “right”.

      Aaaaand I’m out.

      If people want to talk about the role society plays in the creation of mass shooters, the conversation starts with 1) forcing families to become 2 income and 2) public school feeling an awful lot like prison.

      1. Tundra

        Can we include drugging the hell out of boys in an attempt to make them not boys?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          While at the same time no longer insisting on self disciplining behavior.

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Devaluing life inevitably leads to violence. This article only mentions abortions, but what about the constant warfare state? If we as a society promote the idea that “life has value…but not that life” then don’t be surprised by what lives people choose to value.

    3. I’m rejecting the premise outright. Until someone shows me clear and convincing evidence that “mass violence” incidents are actually increasing over a long-term trend (not just media coverage of the most sensational ones), I’m not even entering this conversation.

      1. Rhywun

        ditto

        Overall crime nationwide has dropped to levels not seen in decades, and we’re expected to swallow, without evidence, that one particular category of it has traveled in the opposite direction?

        Bullshit.

      2. The issue, as you’re well aware, is that “mass shooting” as a measurable term, is completely polluted by politics to the point of being meaningless.

        1. Rasilio

          it never had any meaning and the current definition is worse than useless.

          If you wanted to make the term have meaning you would first need to separate it from organized criminal violence as well as terrorism and you could not go by a standard of number of dead or injured because you would then be ignoring all the cases where the person was incompetent or stopped before they could rack up a high kill count.

          I would propose a definition something like

          Any event where a person goes into a public space armed with the intent to kill as many people whom he has no connection to as possible and possesses no coherent political motivation for the act.

          1. Akira

            Any event where a person goes into a public space armed with the intent to kill as many people whom he has no connection to as possible and possesses no coherent political motivation for the act.

            I would add that it would have to preclude any involvement of the drug trade or street gangs. Otherwise you’d have the numbers inflated by homies in rat-infested shithole Baltimore (oops, I’m a racist) shooting up each other’s corners.

  47. Certified Public Asshat

    Venezuela and Uruguay warned their residents about violence and hate crimes in the United States Monday.

    Uruguay’s warning also suggested avoiding the cities of Detroit, Baltimore and Albuquerque, as they were listed as part of the 20 most dangerous cities in the world according to the CEOworld Magazine 2019 index.

    Venezuela’s Foreign Ministry office also issued a warning to its residents Monday, saying Venezuelans should postpone their travels or exercise caution when traveling as a result of the events in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio.

    The statement posted by the Foreign Ministry said that the “recent proliferation of violent acts and hate crimes” need to be considered by those planning to travel into the US.

    1. leon

      “Uruguay’s warning also suggested avoiding the cities of Detroit, Baltimore ”

      RAAAAAAAAACIST!

      1. WTF

        Hmmm, what do those cities have in common? I mean, other than that they have been under Democrat control for at least half a century, because that can’t be it!

    2. Jarflax

      Meh, avoiding Detroit and Baltimore is just good sense. They are factually dangerous cities. We let our homegrown and KGB hothouse commies shape the cities now we have to own the result.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        If you stick to the Inner Harbor, Baltimore is pretty great.

        There’s no reason for a tourist to leave that area.

        1. l0b0t

          Dundalk has its charms.

        2. Eh, I’ve been swarmed by homeless every time I visited the inner harbor. There are some cool things in the area, but I’ve always felt like I had to have extra situational awareness because of the number of loitering neerdowells.

        3. Parts of Hampden aren’t bad, but I don’t know why a tourist would go there. If you get an Uber or a taxi or whatever to specific places, you’ll be fine, especially if it’s daytime. Fells and the Inner Harbor are ok if you stick to the main areas. If you go to a baseball game at night, park somewhere busy and walk with a crowd. Baltimore is dangerous for residents more so than tourists, I think, simply because tourists aren’t going to leave busy, well-lit areas that are patrolled by police very often.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Hampden was of the last KKK strongholds in Baltimore City. I think there’s still some out in Rosedale, north of Dundalk.

        4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          If you never explore a city, I’m sure they’re all lovely

        5. PieInTheSky

          is Jimmys Famous in the good part? Are there any armored Ubers?

          1. Certified Public Asshat

            It’s in a good part.

        6. Rasilio

          yeah I would not really call it pretty great. I’d say kinda cool and only mostly safe but you better have your situational awareness up

    3. “Albuquerque”

      WOOHOO! Hometown baby!

    4. whiz

      Albuquerque is one of the 20 most dangerous cities in the world? WTH metric did they use to determine that?

      1. WTF

        They watched Breaking Bad?

    5. Rhywun

      Now do Mexico.

    6. Pope Jimbo

      I would have thought that Uruguay would be more concerned about homophobia

      /jr high giggler

  48. Chipwooder

    Venezuela’s Foreign Ministry office also issued a warning to its residents Monday, saying Venezuelans should postpone their travels or exercise caution when traveling as a result of the events in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio.

    Very impressive that they can make trips to Ohio in between time spent foraging for food.

    1. leon

      If I was a liberal I’d be pissed. Nothing quite unites people against a position as foreigners acting high and mighty about it.

      It doesn’t help that the media simultaneously wants to paint the US as a shithole, but then defends Baltimore. Is there a better argument against their policies than “those fucks from piss poor Venezuela do it”

      It’s almost as if they actually think shitholes are amazing and that the US sucks.

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    “We need the 2nd Amendment”. Sign seen at the Hong Kong protests.

    1. Tundra

      Ok, that’s pretty sad. And infuriating.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”
      1. Pope Jimbo

        It is like Schiff never saw the documentary Red Dawn.

    3. RegicidalManiac

      Yeah, they do. Everyone does, but they really do.

      The end result of the commies taking possession of HK was always going to be repression, and without arms it’s going to be a foregone conclusion no matter how much they protest.

      Though frankly even with arms, they’re likely to get run over by Beijing. At least they’d have a chance.

    4. leon

      It is sad to see white supremacy spread to Chins.

    5. BakedPenguin

      He’s obviously a white supremacist.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Damn. I need to remember to refresh.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    So what has changed? Part of the answer is that now we have a 24-hour sensationalist news cycle that is driven by a political agenda and profits.

    *grinds teeth*

    1. Contrarian P

      Even if you’re non-profit, if you don’t make any damn money you won’t be in business. This basic fact seems to escape people. They act like the news media is supposed to be driven by…what? Altruism? Banana nut bread?

  51. LJW

    Came across this https://i.imgur.com/5H93KYd.jpg.

    I swear they just keep changing the definition to try to attract more useful idiots.

    1. leon

      I still oppose any form of socialism.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Lying is a virtue. And that’s all that is, a huge lie.

    3. 0x90

      Keep trying, idiots. I’m sure that someday you’ll figure out how you can both concentrate power in a central location, and yet not have control over it captured by the most avaricious characters in society.

    4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Under socialism bank bailouts wouldn’t even be a question, because the banks would already be public entity so bailing them out would be just the usual course of action. How dumb to people have to be to believe this utter nonsense.

      Socialism is the fetish of the rich now. And that should be repeated over and over and over again, so everyone knows these are just trust fund kids LARPing

      1. creech

        Banks are already public entity. I read that the feds had insured something like $4.5 trillion in bank deposits in 2008. Had the banking system gone down the tubes, the feds would have laid out a lot more $$$ than they did by making loans which were ultimately paid back, with interest. Sometimes the lesser of two evils is the only rational choice.

    5. Pope Jimbo

      I like the fact that the tax burden still exists. It is just funneled to different groups.

      Too bad they didn’t list out the system that removed the tax burden altogether and let people spend their own money on thing they want.

    6. ChipsnSalsa

      Democratic Socialism includes Firemen, FireMEN?!?!

      I’m literally shaking right now.

    7. Raston Bot

      “not taking is giving.”

  52. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    Rod Dreher: The Dayton shooter was in a band that glorified violence and rape. Maybe this led to his shooting spree

    Corporate Press: The president’s rhetoric about immigrants is echoed in the El Paso shooter’s manifesto. Maybe that rhetoric led to this shooting

    I’ve noticed that NPCs can only process one of these talking points while becoming very angry about the other. They need a “logical fallacy” upgrade to their coding, because holding one opinion to be true while rejecting the other makes literally no sense.

    1. leon

      SHUT THE FUCK UP :Error received two inputs when only one is accepted

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        If [“shooting”] then [“orange man bad”]

        1. Jarflax

          Why would you write this as an if/then? I thought it was more input received:output “Orangeman Bad”

          although if he signs/proposes any gun control he loses my vote. I’m half way out the door after the bumpstock thing, and I think bumpstocks are for retarded people.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Imagine how stupid he must be to honestly believe that he can win re-election by conceding the gun debate to progressives

          2. Rhywun

            I’m picturing him in favor of some massive “red-flag” bureaucracy the House will want to set up and which won’t get past the Senate. In the end nothing happens but everyone except those white supremacists in the Senate gets to pat themselves on the back for “doing something”.

    2. Akira

      holding one opinion to be true while rejecting the other makes literally no sense.

      My friend, let me introduce you to the magic of postmodernism.

      1. R C Dean

        They really need to make up their minds. We’ve got one group of progs saying, and I quote, that guns cause mass shootings. We’ve got another saying that right-wing rhetoric causes mass shootings.

        Left-wing rhetoric, of course, only causes puppies and rainbows.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Can we include drugging the hell out of boys in an attempt to make them not boys?

    Diversity is all well and good, in theory…

  54. Tundra

    In Hong Kong, It’s Now a Revolution

    Sustainability is the key for the protestors if they want to win freedom from China. “They keep saying ‘be like water,’” Michael Yon, the American war correspondent and author, told the National Interest over the weekend, noting young protestors are modeling themselves after martial arts legend Bruce Lee. “I keep telling them be like Poland. Never quit and you can actually be free. Maybe. But never quit.”

    Yon, now reporting from the streets in Hong Kong, is on to something. Hong Kong people may be able to inspire just enough disgruntled mainlanders to shake their regime to the ground. If one thing is evident after months of protests, the youthful pro-democracy demonstrators are determined, as are millions of residents of the territory.

    In a contest where neither side will concede, anything can happen. Chinese regimes, let us remember, fray at the edges and then sometimes fall apart. It could happen this time as well.

    I wish them well, but I have a bad feeling about this…

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      If Trump were smart (which is debatable, if I’m being generous) then he would just rename his tariffs “sanctions”. Then dare anyone to question those sanctions. And that’s how he would get his tariffs.

    2. RegicidalManiac

      The government has guns and HK doesn’t. It’s not a foregone conclusion, but it’s not looking good.

      I wish them the best of luck, because HK doesn’t deserve to be consumed by Beijing and the commies, but I’m not optimistic.

    3. Brett L

      I don’t know that its revolution. More like open rebellion. Revolution kind of indicates they have an alternate government structure prepared. I still believe China will conduct military pacification rather than lose.

      1. RegicidalManiac

        I suspect you are right. China knows they need to maintain control of HK. If they lose control, they risk it spreading to the mainland, and they can’t afford to have that happen.

        I suspect this is going to be functionally a repeat of the ’56 invasion of Hungary.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Or 68 Czechoslovakia

    1. l0b0t

      LOL… I did not see the “3” upon first glance and read it as “Reason’s leaders should embrace cowardice” and my immediate reaction was ENB, The Jacket, and Fruit Sushi have already done so.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        I saw the Jacket on Thaddeus Russel without his…jacket. It was disturbing. I thought Dave Smith brought his grandfather to the show at first

    2. leon

      I see CEOs and don’t see anything but cowardice. I see no moral courage, no coherent principles

    3. Suthenboy

      The purpose of demoralization is to make people unable to think. If they cant think they cant solve problems. If they cant solve problems they cant defend themselves, their families or their country.

      No one ever wanted to make you unable to defend yourself for your own good. Darren needs a rusty chainsaw up the ass.

    4. Rasilio

      Whoever wrote that is a fucking idiot.

      Cowardice is not feeling fear or being afraid, literally the definition of cowardice is being controlled by your fear such that you never act to face it.

      What they seem to be saying is embrace situations that make you afraid and face those fears, generally good advice, embracing cowardice however would result in your running in terror from any situation that makes you uncomfortable

      1. leon

        But he gets to frame it as not being toxic masculinity.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    It’s working

    California’s new ammunition background check law in its first month stopped more than 100 people from buying bullets illegally, officials said late Monday as they struggled to deter more of the mass shootings that have roiled California and other states over the last week.

    “Countless other prohibited persons were likely deterred from even trying to purchase ammunition that they cannot lawfully possess,” Attorney General Xavier Becerra said in a court filing. He disclosed the early results in response to a gun owners’ rights group attempt to block the law that took effect July 1.

    Lives were saved.

    1. WTF

      Because stopping them from buying bullets through this process also prevented them from getting bullets through other means.
      Because laws are magic.

    2. Akira

      It’s odd that they try to expand background checks when almost every mass shooter passed a background check to buy the guns.

      Why, it’s almost like they’re not concerned with public safety at all but rather want to find any excuse to reduce your 2A rights.

      1. That just means they need to BAN HARDER.

    3. Rhywun

      Oh noes, what is a criminal to do now??

    4. 0x90

      This law made it less likely for the gilroy shooter to be taken out before he was able to hit 16 people.

      What a fun game, making shit up.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    It’s odd that they try to expand background checks when almost every mass shooter passed a background check to buy the guns.

    They want universal background checks because that is how they will get millions of currently anonymous guns and gun owners into the database, for later use.

    1. Tundra

      Dude, your social security number will never be used for identification. That’s just silly talk.

    2. This is why *ahem*some people*ahem* pay the premium for private sale.

    3. creech

      I keep hearing that “America is awash in guns.” Yet, it being Texas, I’m surprised about a dozen people in Walmart weren’t carrying and immediately taking down the shooter? A Texas friend says most armed Texans leave their firearms in their truck or car when they shop but that may start to change despite the “This is a gun free zone” signs in the stores.

      1. WalMart virtue signalling cost twenty-two lives there.

      2. R C Dean

        I’ve heard that the Walmart was a gun free zone. I’ve been avoiding the “reporting” on the shootings, so I’m not sure if it was or not.

        1. R C Dean

          Although, a Walmart has literally thousands of improvised weapons. Sure, they are melee weapons and not my first choice for taking on a gunman. I don’t know how long it would take to re-orient yourself when a random shooting starts, or whether I would head to the tool section and grab an axe and run to the sound of gunfire.

          I have a plan for a shooter in my area of the hospital. Whether I could actually do it, or whether I could come up with one and carry it out in a random public shooting, I don’t know. But at least I’ve got something in my head other than “cower and cry” or “outrun everybody else”.

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          I’m pretty sure WMT, KR, etc are smart to leave the carry issue alone; it’s like abortion: pick a side and lose 50% immediately.

          WMT had a plan where employees were to confront TX open carry and ask for permits, but the roll-out (as with all low-rent situations) was inconsistent: they didn’t have standard language to handle the most obvious and simple TX situation:
          10 employee: sees open carry
          20 e: asks to see permit
          30 carry: fuck off
          40: e: then we withdraw your permission to be on our property and ask you to leave immediately.
          Step 40 just blew their mind in the same way that Step 20 blew E’s mind, as if the 30-07 law did a damn thing to change private property rights.

          1. R C Dean

            What I thought I had read was that the Walmart was in a mall that was a gun-free zone.

            The conflict between property rights and the right to self-defense is one that I struggle with; I can see both sides. I keep thinking I will put together an article on it.

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            Everything starts with property for me.

            I overlooked one objectionable new TX law: I object to the one restricting apartment owners on leasing terms.

  57. People don’t want freedom, it’s uncomfortable. They want to return to the days when Mommy and Daddy looked after them, protected them and took care of them.

    1. 0x90

      Naw, they just don’t want freedom for others, and they want free shit. With regards to themselves, everyone is a complete anarchist .. it’s the amorphous other they are worried about.

      Which is why I tend to trust freedom-lovers, and distrust control freaks .. because a person’s politics is the clearest expression of their projection of their own inner state onto the world.

      1. PieInTheSky

        but freedom for me is ok cause I only want to do good stuff. you wanna do bad things

  58. Sean

    Happiness. I haz it.

    Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Series ‘Truth Seekers’ Picked Up By Amazon

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Leading by example


    Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador on Monday pushed the United States to support gun control legislation in response to a mass shooting in El Paso, Texas over the weekend that claimed at least 22 lives, including seven Mexican nationals.

    “We are very respectful of what other governments decide but we think that these lamentable events that occurred in the United States should lead to reflection, analysis and the decision to control the indiscriminate sale of arms,” Lopez Obrador said at a press conference.

    We all know what a rampaging success Mexico’s gun control laws have been. There hasn’t been a firearm related death in Mexico since they kicked that French guy out.

    1. So I guess we’re going to start criticizing domestic policies of our neighbors then? You really wanna go down that road Dear Leader of a quasi-failed corrupt narco-state?

  60. R C Dean

    Goddammit. I really had not planned to buy another gun any time soon, but I feel the urge to do so rising.

    Maybe just stock up on ammo, since they’re going after ammo now, too.

    1. creech

      Let me offer, in advance, a “that’s too bad” concerning the upcoming accident where all your firearms all into the lake when the boat happened to overturn.

  61. Related to mass shootings:

    https://www.infowars.com/poll-89-per-cent-of-uk-gen-zers-say-their-lives-are-meaningless/

    It is InfoWars so take it with a mountain of salt; however, I’m working on an article which addresses just this.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      “Atomization”

    2. Tundra

      It’s a central theme of Peterson’s. An interesting point he brought up is the horrible “you’re ok just the way you are” bullshit. Instead of reassuring and building up people, it leads directly to ‘what’s the fucking point, then?”

      1. I tell my kids if they want to be happy in life, they should make or fix things.

        (Make can be creating as well — writing, sculpting, etc.)

    3. PieInTheSky

      Not starving used to be a meaning. that is gone sadly

  62. The Late P Brooks

    Mexican Secretary of Foreign Affairs Marcelo Ebrard on Sunday that the country’s top prosecutor is considering filing terrorism charges against Crusius.

    He also threatened legal action against the U.S., saying Mexican leaders would demand conditions to protect its citizens while in the United States.

    “It is not our disposition to involve ourselves in the internal affairs of any country, but this topic should be considered again because it affects many people, in this case Americans as well as Mexicans,” Lopez Obrador said.

    Fingers were pointed.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      “Journalists” were flipping their shit because CNN did a report on the shooter where they mentioned that he was an Elizabeth Warren fan and an antifa supporter. And just like that rhetoric no longer leads to violence, because the principals are different.

      Propagandists going to propagandize.

    2. Private Chipperbot

      WTF? He drove with his sister and best friend to the bar and then shot both of them?

      1. R C Dean

        He drove with his sister and best friend to the bar and then shot his gun discharged at both of them, who were struck by multiple rounds?

        Oops, my bad. Not a cop, so the passive voice isn’t appropriate.

  63. MikeS

    Democratic Socialist Convention Forced To Communicate Via Interpretive Dance To Avoid Offending Any Attendees

    Conference speakers then gave speeches calling for the death of capitalism and the seizure of the means of production entirely by coordinated dance numbers. One particularly powerful dance entitled “The Blood Flows from the Animal Farm and It Is Delicious” had dancers reenact the Bolshevik Revolution. It would have garnered a standing ovation, but standing is considered ableism, so it only got jazz hands. Then a man without hands performed a scathing solo dance routine to inform everyone that jazz hands were very triggering to him. Everyone tried to apologize with sign language but only made things worse.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      “Point of privilege. Can we not use gendered language when referring to the whole group.”

      – An actual quote said by an actual human being at an actual gathering of trust fund kids (socialists)

      1. 0x90

        How dare xe presume the group does not want to be gendered? Maybe it identifies as an individual, of one or more genders.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        That was the best/worst vid I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s hard to parody those people.

      3. I watched those videos. Comedy gold.

    2. But what about the quad-activists who rant about the troubles suffered by paralized folks despite being completely able-bodied themselves? Won’t they get triggered?

    3. R C Dean

      You gotta wonder: Do the Babylon Bee staff ever look at each other and say “This is just too easy. I need a challenge, and mocking leftist nitwits just isn’t it.”

      1. MikeS

        I hope not.

    4. ChipsnSalsa

      Babylon Bee editor was on the T. Woods podcast recently. Good listen. I did not hear any Glib signaling words so I’m assuming he is not “one of us”.

      1. Counting Lurkers, there are only a few hundred Tulpae around.

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        The people who work at the Babylon Bee are legitimate Christians. I’m not sure how well received rape jokes and girly pics are with them, but that would probably preclude them from visiting this site

        1. Yeah, I thought about sending them a link to our satire site, but I’m not sure they’d be down with “Porn star succumbs to death of a thousand cunts.”

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I think I recall him saying he was between conservative and libertarian but I might be misremembering.

    1. MikeS

      It wasn’t. But it bears repeating.

    2. Was mentioned yesterday at some point. Forget which article.

    3. R C Dean

      Brazier claimed that he didn’t realize what was going on because he was distracted talking to hospital staff hitting on the nurses.

      Brazier described finding out what had happened to him as a “real surprise.”

      I larfed. “Y my pipi hurt?”

      1. I was under the impression he was there for a different urology procedure, so there was some plausibility as to why it took so long to notice.

        1. R C Dean

          Honestly, I could see the patient just not understanding what was supposed to happen. Especially in England, where “informed consent” isn’t a thing (I’ve had to educate doctors who worked in the NHS on the American system of “You can’t do anything to a patient without telling them all about it, including risks, benefits, and alternatives”).

          So, its pretty likely that he really didn’t have an idea what was supposed to happen, so when they brought out the scalpel rather than the scope, he didn’t realize there’s no scalpels involved in scoping somebody’s bladder and ask what the hell they thought they were doing. Its also SOP in American hospitals to confirm with the patient and the OR team exactly what is being done.

          Bottom line: this is far more likely to happen in England than the US.

    4. leon

      I knew (((they))) ran the NHS

  64. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    “It makes far more sense to hold the press complicit for the innocents slaughtered in the wars they fomented than to hold gun owners complicit for the innocents murdered in the mass shootings they despise.”

    – Michael Malice

    1. Totes. I watched an interview with him on Joe Rogan and he said (paraphrasing) “you guys [journalists] spent years chanting ‘WMD, WMD’ and that resulted in tens of thousands of deaths. If I were you and I did such a thing, I would be damaged for life.”

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        While some have taken the farcical and illogical position that rhetoric creates violence, but not all rhetoric because reasons, Malice remains a voice of sanity. And his criticisms of the corporate press are more coherent than the conservative talking point about bias.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      More dumb shit for more dumb shits. Rinse, wash, repeat.

    2. How about this: a new bachelorette, but all the contestants are naked and she must fuck all the suitors. The roses are then divvied up according to sexual performance and evolutionary fitness; penis size, intravaginal ejaculatory latency time, ejaculation volume, semen analysis parameters, genetic diseases, number and frequency of female orgasms, etc.

      The winner is then forced to procreate with the bachelorette on camera ’cause isn’t that what the whole point is anyway?

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        ^

        THIS. This is why no one who writes for the Babylon Bee is lurking here.

        Well done, Q. 10/10- would watch

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      they got a fever all right.

  65. The Late P Brooks

    Gungrabbers POUNCE

    The Obama rule that Trump nullified had added people receiving Social Security checks for mental illnesses and people deemed unfit to handle their financial affairs to the national background check database.

    Had that rule taken effect, the Obama administration predicted it would have added 75,000 names to the national background check database.

    ——-

    Groups like the National Alliance of Mental Illness have accused the Trump Administration of rolling back other Obama-era policies designed to help the mentally ill.

    “In the U.S., it is easier to get a gun than it is to get mental health,” said Angela Kimball, NAMI’s acting CEO. “We need to flip the script. It should be easy — not hard — for people to get the mental health care they need.”

    ———-

    The Newtown Action Alliance said the president’s comments are an attempt to deflect from real change.

    “If the president truly believed that those with mental illness should not have access to weapons of war, he would not have reversed Obama’s executive order to remove social security recipients with mental illness from the NICS background system,” Po Murray, Chairwoman, Newtown Action Alliance said in a statement. “But the fact is that only 4 percent of violent crimes are committed by those with mental illness. Donald Trump continues to push the NRA rhetoric that scapegoats mental illness in an effort to deflect from the real issue … the dire lack of common-sense legislation that could end the epidemic of gun violence in our country.”

    There seems to be a bit of cognitive dissonance on display here, unless I’m just imagining it.

    It’s not just the “mentally ill” they want to take guns away from.

    1. R C Dean

      The Obama rule that Trump nullified had added people receiving Social Security checks for mental illnesses and people deemed unfit to handle their financial affairs to the national background check database.

      Which would have done absolutely nothing to stop either shooter.

      I love how they somehow think that putting people diagnosed with mental illness on government databases to limit their rights is somehow going to encourage people with problems to seek help.

      1. 0x90

        Gawd, why do I read the comments .. ars commenter sez:

        Put a $5000 excise tax on all bullets sold to fund crime/violence prevention programs. People who own guns for self defense shouldn’t fire unless necessary. Nonlethal ammo and practice ammo (must be kept and used at a gun range) could be exempted.
        […]
        I also want people to know, I am not being flippant. This seems like a solution that may be able to actually get some support. Probably not at $5000, but a $20 minimum per bullet would also likely reduce access to large amounts of ammo to perpetrate mass shootings.

        Laws are magic, you just need to pass them.

        1. 0x90

          hmm .. was not intended as a response.

    2. R C Dean

      the dire lack of common-sense legislation that could end the epidemic of gun violence in our country

      “Naturally, the door-to-door confiscation effort will result in a temporary spike in gun violence, but after we have purged guns and, where necessary, gun owners from our society, well, utopia awaits!”

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How about the unintended consequences of people not seeking mental health treatment because they’re concerned about losing their 2nd Amendment rights? That has the potential to be an enormous problem if these assholes get their way.

      1. R C Dean

        Individual eggs must be broken for the collective omelette, comrade.

  66. R C Dean

    From the “You get more of what you reward” files:

    Children at Center of Booming Smuggling Industry

    A 33-year-old Honduran male illegally crossed the U.S. border with his 15-year-old “son” recently.

    After an investigation, it was discovered that the man had borrowed the boy from the boy’s mother in Honduras to use in an attempt to be released into the United States quickly as a family unit. He presented a fake birth certificate for the boy.

    Border Patrol and Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) agents are uncovering thousands of such stories as smugglers and illegal aliens learn that a child is an adult’s ticket into the United States, due to legal loopholes.