The antisemites at a certain airline screwed up everything about OMWC’s travel to Orlando yesterday, getting him to his hotel at sometime after o’dark-thirty, so he’s even more incoherent than usual this morning and asked me to fill in on links duty.
Because you all KNOW how sparkly I am in the morning!
Birthdays
1289: Wenceslaus III of Bohemia, King of Hungary (1301-05) and King of Bohemia and Poland (1305-06), born in Prague, Czech Republic (d. 1306)
1744: James McGill, Scottish-Canadian businessman and philanthropist, born in Glasgow, Scotland (d. 1813); later went on to fame as a .criminal.attorney. under a pseudonym.
1803: Heinrich Wilhelm Dove, Prussian physicist and climatologist, born in Legnica, Poland (d. 1879)
1846: George Westinghouse, American entrepreneur and engineer, born in Central Bridge, New York (d. 1914)
1955: Tony Dungy, American football coach
OK, and a bunch of other people. I’m tired of this section.
History
1857: First American Chess Congress hosted by the American Chess Association
1884: Naval War College forms in Newport, Rhode Island
1889: Thomas Edison shows his 1st motion picture
1890: General Conference of the Mormon Church outlaws polygamy
1911: Cy Young’s farewell appearance in a major league game is a letdown as he loses to Brooklyn 13-3 in a Braves uniform in his 906th game
1926: Babe Ruth hits 3 HRs in a World Series game, Yanks beat Cards 10-5
1939: Adolf Hitler announces plans to regulate Jewish problem
1956: Dr Albert Sabin discovers oral polio vaccine
1966: Oriole Jim Palmer, 20, is youngest to pitch a World Series shutout
OK, enough of this, too.
Links
Sheesh, I hope no Glibs were involved.
I should probably look into this.
What the fuck did they think they were getting?
And they still arrested them.
Have a great day, Glibs. I’m off to sleep, I hope.
I’ll let Todd and Co have the last word.
mornin’
Howdy
‘sup, Tres? Mornin’, DET!
Church is gonna be painful this morning.
#MeToomanybeers
If you usually do Pentecostal, may I recommend a nice, unprogrammed Friends (Quaker) meeting as a soothing change of pace today? Maybe the Holy Spirit will NOT move anyone to speak out of the silence – for your sake.
I go with a friend to a non-denominational generic Church of Christ thingy.
A family I knew back where I grew up went to a church, we, in, a community that was so informal they called Him Chuy.
Busy night?
Geez, every city seems to want a mass shooting of its very own!
Math checks out.
Dayton got its very own Chappelle show out of ours. Step up, KC celebs!
By the way, it looks like a place where dreams come true.
Wyandotte County is rough, yo.
Hi Tres!
Sorry about the hangover. Put in a good word for me with God, huh?
Todd!! The ol’ band did “Alright Guy” (“Alright”? “All Right”? NOT “Alt-right”!) as a “weekly affirmation” right up until the end of our run. Good times.
…and lookit Ms. Web Goddess with a two-column format! BOW TO HER!!! (Oops! Sorry, Tres!)
Ironically, she’s married to a hopelessly computer-stupid person. Spends much time shaking her head sadly at me.
Inorite?
You don’t know how to use HTML table tags? 🙂
I know enough to know that’s not the right way to do it. SP uses DIVI.
Yeah, that was a bit of a joke, unless you want your page to look like it came out of the 90s.
I don’t mind minimalism, so I’ve kept my blog with a battleship-gray background since I started it.
I admit I am helpless without Monocle. Is there a twelve-step program for that?
HTML tags I can deal with, but it’s all the weird, strange WordPress tags that always vex me. Anyone recommend a resource?
Or would I just be better off downloading the WordPress client?
Well, what are you trying to do with it?
The only thing I do with WP is submit articles here. It always tries to change the font to a Serif font when I paste in a corrected paragraph, even though the source document (Libre Office Writer) is set to Sans Serif.
I find the (span) tags particularly frustrating. Does every paragraph need to have all that crap? Sometimes I end up with (span) (span) (span) when it seems all I really need is two (if even that).
Also, it ate one of my illos on “The Triumph of…” And I know that I probably deleted that myself, rather than it eating it, but my frustration level is high. I also know I’m being that whiny end user I always hated throughout my professional career.
And I know I can set it to paste without attributes, but then I have to go back and manually redo every italicization, bolding, link, etc.
Ok, then disregard my comment below.
For no good reason, your mention of the end user reminded me of this.
That crap is from the word processing software, not WP. Or rather, it’s WP’s attempt to translate that crap and keep your formatting.
Are you using the visual editor or text for your posts? Either way, just write in a plain vanilla text editor and then paste in. You can then format and add images in the visual editor.
I try to use the visual editor whenever possible, but resort to the text editor when WP fucks my shit up.
I’ve had even worse luck trying to use WordPad or Notepad.
I asked about WP client above, I should have said WP desktop app. Any thoughts on that?
Here’s my typical experience: I bust my hump trying to get an article ready to submit by Friday Noon, except I know that really means I need to have it finished (in my word processor) by Thursday evening. For me finished is printed out on paper and proofread that way since I pick up on typos better on the printed page than on screen.
I know it will take me 2-3 hours of very frustrating work on Friday morning to get it halfway decent looking. Friday mornings are my least favorite time of week.
I went through this.
Whatever tags you have that WP doesn’t like, span, div, whatever, you can paste it into the visual editor. When you switch to text view to put in your formatting, then switch back to the visual editor, it will strip it all out.
There are various workarounds that don’t work for me. I DO use tables (although I may use Divi that OMWC has mentioned) and I depend heavily on my own design, so when it strips a
l that out, I lose it ALL.
The only thing that solved my problem was to completely ditch the visual editor, which sucks in so e ways, but it was more important that my front page retain my design.
I don’t do tables, columns or other fancy stuff in my stuff.
WTF is the SPAN supposed to be anyway?
Any thoughts on the WP desktop app? Anyone?
It appears that SPAN is complete BS, at least for anything I would need.
Don, if you are doing colors it would appear that you need to use that.
Is WP hard or am I stupid? *
I did the copy-paste to it, but my pictures and formatting went away. But I only find bold and italics in the tool bar: how to restore my color formatting? And I need to learn how to insert pictures if they don’t simply paste.
So this means when I submit in a Word doc, someone is spending an hour trying to restore my formatting? doG knows that’s not cool at all.
* I know, I know: why can’t both things be true.
Yeah, if I’m pasting stuff, I use the text side, then go over to visual to format. This is the Dummy Way.
When I go back to the visual editor, it all gets stripped out. Every. Single. Time.
oh: click on Toolbar Toggle icon
because text editing tools shouldn’t be front and center, they should be tucked out of the way since most writers don’t need them
I hate to say this, because in IT circles the phrase is a red flag for tech support, but WP is needlessly complex. I can’t imagine trying to do colors or tables when I have to wrestle with it for two hours just to get it to unfuck my stuff.
And this is not a criticism of SP. I realize that WP is the best platform for this and that you are a web design goddess. My computer skills are of the hardware / sysadmin / programmer sort.
Please, someone, anyone, point us to some self-help resources.
Did I mention how much I hate airlines? And Orlando as well? I’m in the hotel breakfast room, surrounded by ill mannered families with ill controlled kids, all wearing tons of Disney gear.
On the other hand, target-rich environment.
+1 Disney families animation sequence from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life
Hang in there, OMWC.
Delta?
Good luck this week. Just think of all the filthy lucre and it may be better,
American.
No extra lucre for the travel, alas. And people are watching their kids when I walk by. Lose-lose.
They hate to fly and it shows.
“On the other hand, target-rich environment.”
LOL
Sounds like our last stay in Tokyo when all the Chinese bus-tour groups were breakfasting. Loud, rude, and oblivious.
MCO by quartiles
– merely stupid: a fourth of the passengers are looking for the tickets their daughter printed out for them and eating snacks out of a recycled ziplock baggie
– unintentionally stupid: another quarter are business guys who can’t even with the peoplemover train thingy and their sample boxes
– recreationally stupid: which is worse, the mouse-eared screamers or the children they’re dragging to Florida?
– ¿ what’s the nice word for familia de mexicanos completa con pollos mascotas ?
Good doG get your crap out of the overhead and herd your niños the fuck out of here so I can be about my life in some normal fashion: I’m this close to starting to yearn for Dayton.
And in racist rant news: what is it with the Hispanic squirming and line-jumping on a plane? Jumping up and squirming seven rows forward while everyone decorously helps little old ladies with their bags and takes their turn. You got some (insert some underclass menial job stereotype here) that won’t wait the 42 whole seconds you saved pushing past half the folks in steerage? I too have been stuck in Mexico City traffic half my life and understand you’ll never get anywhere unless you shoehorn yourself into traffic by throwing the fender of a bombed out Corolla out there, but that hasn’t become my MO in the rest of my life. I get it, but you’re making me racist.
::ears perk up:: Dayton the city, or just the airport?
Take the direct from San Francisco to Shanghai some time and get back to me on lack of decorum.
Can confirm.
mmmmm-gooood-yuuummmm: leaving San Francisco
Or Newark to New Delhi.
Sounds a bit like a shuttle service between the lower rings of hell.
All I can say was that flying was a lot better in the sixties and seventies. Airline travel was beyond the means of most people, or a rare treat for middle class people (flying on their own dime). When the riff-raff became able to afford air travel, showing up with their “Nashville Samsonite” (black plastic trash bags used in place of luggage) it was done for me. Add post-911 security theatre and I stopped flying except when forced to for work.
“Nashville Samsonite”
Stolen. Thanks.
Not original, but glad you like it.
I apologize for “riff-raff.” That was classist of me.
Everyone’s an exec. Places to go, people to see, papers to sign.
Like my neighbours. Never saw two people so much on the go every single day. How much is there to do every day, eight hours a day?
Start a rumor that there was a mass shooting in the park, and Minnie, her lover Goofy, and Pluto are all dead. Snow White seen leaving with Mickey.
I always thought Minnie seemed a bit ditzy but I didn’t know she was fcuking goofy.
Here ya go.
“1939: Adolf Hitler announces plans to regulate Jewish problem”
A bit of an understatement, I’d say.
Mornin’ SP, sorry to hear about OMWC’s plans getting changes but hopefully he’ll have today off and can get rest up, watch a little football and be at the top of his game tomorrow.
Good job on quick notice, its the reason to get up in the morning.
You forgot to add in the TSA funtimes, OM
That part actually went relatively smoothly. Unfortunately, it’s promising to be a packed work day. Like the rest of the week.
1939 was just a continuation of the anti-Jewish decrees that started coming right after Hitler became chancellor. And when Jews didn’t rise up en masse when it was announced that their firearms were going to be confiscated, they were doomed.
Luckily we live in a country where no politicians would ever call for gun confiscation.
* cough Beto cough *
Cough *CA* cough.
One more reason I have an eye to retire somewhere else.
Good afternoon and thanks for the lynx, SP!
This cracked me up:
And Snoop is the problem? *rolls eyes*
The sleep article was good – it appears that lack of sleep is a monster problem for most people, including me. Lately I’ve been shutting down about an hour before I crash and that seems to help. I’ve increased my average to somewhere around 7 hours. Except for those weekend nights when I wait up for Spawn 2 to get home and still wake up early. I hate that.
Oh well, it’s Sunday. I get to watch the Vikes screw the pooch and ponder the Twins’ chances after giving up 18 runs in two games and bringing their traveling fun show back to MInne 0-2.
On the bright side, I made some rockin’ chile verde yesterday. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
Make it a great day y’all!
Rockin’ good
May I just say – and I mean this with all possible sincerity – fuck the Yankees! (And the Braves!)
Fuck the Yankees.
You say that as though the Vikings screwing the pooch were a bad thing.
I think we should ask for the pooch’s opinion about that.
You’re welcome, Tundra.
(And…Go Pack!)
+1
Lately I’ve been shutting down about an hour before I crash and that seems to help.
If I read a book for an hour before I sleep, I sleep better than if I don’t.
I probably should have done that last night. I slept until about a half hour ago. Ooops. I guess I am not getting much done in the yard today given rain is supposed to come in this afternoon. Probably better for my back.
“I made some rockin’ chile verde yesterday.”
I’ll bring some beer, and I should be able to make it to Mpls for late lunch. What’s your address?
It’s so much better the day after.
It appears that life in Seattle is treating you well. I’m really glad to hear it!
Letters to the Local rag: Why So Serious?
Is that Shirley?
Good lord, no. Shirley doing a serious is hekkin rare.
Lotsa folks need to take these words to heart.
Sounds like a setup for an “adults in the room” argument.
Strangely enough, that was the entirety of it.
Was it from Judge Nap? Or not enough question marks?
Seriously, I love comedy…
ARISTOCRATS!
Because no good deed goes unpunished.
Over/under on the pursuees letting the cops drown next time?
(And BTW, how does that over/under thing work? #gamblingilliterate)
ugh
Ginger Baker was 80
Not a nice man.
Uh, no.
Moon was an innovator and all around fabulous guy, Baker was an asshole that better have prayed to a shrine of Jack Bruce every damn day.
But RIP anyway.
Kim Shattuck died this week.
https://www.npr.org/2019/10/03/766780466/kim-shattuck-an-enduring-presence-in-l-a-punk-dead-at-56
I had such a crush on her. She was pretty and cool and her band was kickass and those shows were always fun. Party time!
Dame, she was my age. That sucks. She is pretty.
A lot of unintentional comedy in this Bernie Sanders ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZhkKATtqtU
I saw Joker last night. It was fine, I guess.
Not really a go-to-the-movies kind of guy but the lady friend is. Plus it was one of those hipster places witha bar and only one theatre, which is my preferred way to see movies. Plus there was a sparse crowd, I’m guessing due to the local college sportsball game.
” It was fine, I guess.”
Quite the endorsement.
Overall I would recommend it.
The score was very good, probably my favorite part. I saw someone online refer to the Joker as a bit similar to Requiem For a Dream. Makes sense to me, although not sure I can explain *why* that comparison is apt.
Spot on Carlin impression:
7 Words You Can’t Say on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xISZ80Ik_JY
Witness in Guyger trial shot to death.
https://www.yahoo.com/gma/botham-jeans-former-neighbor-witness-amber-guyger-trial-011942164–abc-news-topstories.html
Aren’t the cops supposed to do that before he testifies? Barn door – horses…
This is a warning to others, like putting an enemy’s head on a pike.
That has 48-hour-rule written all over it.
Speaking of which, turns out that cop who stabbed a bunch of people in Paris was an Islamonutter.
Oh, and his job was spying on Islamonutters.
Cui custodiet ipses custodiens?
Staring in to the abyss?
Hardly surprising.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-new-jersey-well-represented-on-list-of-miserable-us-cities
Bullshit rankings, my town only made 43rd place and I’m much more miserable to live around that that.
Looks like the easiest path to getting on that list is having had a GM plant.
Some random pumpkin things grew in my moms yard from discarded seeds and she decided to use one as a pot to make sarmale – stuffed cabbage leaves. the results did not taste like pumpkin which is a good thing.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=12B9ACGww6MEXBhNDmNCTW_y2hMFyZxoc
https://drive.google.com/open?id=12Bb5wWJY0vpyV0TDpK31oCmWi0R0e5jD
Kabocha squash?
don’t think so
https://drive.google.com/open?id=12Beh9MttrYCym7lIAsHUxn8IuxVVCbha
Nope. Not kabocha. I don’t know what that is.
My gardening friends refer to that sort of growth as volunteers, as in “and this tomato plant is a volunteer from seeds the squirrels didn’t eat from last year’s crop.”
Not all winter squashes (aka gourds, as opposed to thin-skinned summer squashes like zucchini) are edible. Many are “ornamental” or utilitarian (ie, gourds grown to be turned into drinking gourds or birdhouses).
While you can make a pie out of an ornamental (Jack-o-Lantern aka Halloween) pumpkin, the flesh is flavorless compared to that of a pie pumpkin.
Our most prolific tomatoes this year were volunteer (cherry and grape variety, so great for salads) and our carefully planted/nurtured ones barely produced anything.
Slutty Sunday titties anticipate the first snow of the year.
https://tinyurl.com/yxnacm8q
Has this made the rounds yet?
Portland bans urinals for gender neutrality:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeTfWyFg3dc
Of course, Snopes says “mostly false”.
***
What’s True
In 2019, city officials in Portland confirmed urinals would not be installed in any bathrooms in the Portland Building after its renovation.
What’s False
The urinal policy related only to the Portland Building, not to all public buildings. The city itself owns and manages the building, so the notion of a “ban” on urinals was illogical and misleading.
***
Oh jolly good then…
The Portland Building has been a shithole since it opened. Now it will only be a shithole.
“Second whistleblower comes forward in Trump-Ukraine scandal”
What scandal? There is no scandal, unless your last name ends in Biden or Obama.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/trump-impeachment-inquiry/second-whistleblower-comes-forward-trump-ukraine-scandal-n1062961
Then they wonder why Quebec is a shit hole.
When the PQ say it’s a bit much, you know it’s a bit much.
I didn’t think the province would go there but they did….regulating speech.
My daughter is DEFINITELY not staying here.
https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/say-au-revoir-to-hi-quebec-wants-stores-and-government-offices-to-only-use-bonjour-1.4624479
This country has done nothing but bend over backwards for Quebec since the late 60s. Is the place grateful? Nope. It’s a strange combo of ‘you owe us’ and ‘we’re independent’ faux-nationalist rhetoric that prevails. Canada granted this county ‘Official bilingual status’ and no sooner that happened, Quebec responded with ‘fuck you’ we’re unilingual Bill 22. Then they went full retard trampling on civil liberties with a piece of legislation – the notorious Bill 101 – they celebrate as if it’s the Declaration of Independence. I wouldn’t even wipe my ass with that retard junk. Then, because we ceded economic dominance to Toronto post-1976, we became a ‘have-not’ province. We have all the welfare ‘babelles’ but with low productivity out put. So Canada came up with the concept of the equalization transfer payment. ‘Hey, don’t worry. We’ll make this province (ie Alberta) pay for you luxury.’ And what happens? Quebec and Alberta have been at each other’s throats. The problem is we’re the deadbeat province; not Alberta.
Fucken jokers.
All because they fear the word ‘hi’ (a polite greeting) threatens them.
Amazingly sad and pathetic.
No wonder why Quebec nationalists love Catalonian agitators and the Palestinian. They all know how to extort.
Catalonians aren’t extorting anybody. It’s the wealthiest region of Spain.
I can see why Catalonia wants its independence, but I can also see why Spain wants to keep Catalonia.
As for Quebec, I can’t see why Canada wants to keep it.
Agree on both counts.
At some point you have to say “this ain’t working for either of us“.
They kinda do. Just in reverse.
Muh reparashunz!
That’s what a transfer payment is. For Quebec and the Maritimes.
Even Saskatchewan is outperforming Quebec FFS now.
SASKATCHAMATAN!
Makes me wonder (in utter ignorance of Canadian politics) if it wouldn’t be less trouble for Ottawa to just kick Quebec out. If it weren’t for all the ports, I wouldn’t look askance at D.C. kicking California out.
“Kicking out” states, cities or regions is a terrible idea. The state of California becoming a commie infested shit hole doesn’t mean we give it away to make the commies go away. That’s not how any of this is actually solved. Cede ground to those shitmongers and you’re just going to wind up ceding more ground.
Montreal sure has nice strip clubs though.
And condos. And bike lanes.
That’s all we’re good for.
Hot women and good beer too.
I mean speaking french can only lead to bullshit
It’s closely related to Romanian, so yeah, I can see that.
not that closely.
“For her part, Québec solidaire MNA Catherine Dorion said she’d like to see the government defend Quebec culture from American tech giants, apply Bill 101 to Crown corporations and forbid francophone universities from teaching English programs.”
Fun fact: On some French campuses it is forbidden to speak English. The funny thing is Quebecers always babble about ‘yeh but in Ontario’ but this sort of psycho meanness doesn’t exist anywhere else in Canada; heck the continent and probably across the West.
This chick said because French is the 5th most spoken language in the world…..TRAMPLE ON CIVIL LIBERTIES.
5TH! You don’t even get a ribbon for that!
Pity the French. They have a cultural memory of once having been significant. And lack the wit to cope.
If I were President, I’d ask them to join the US, since we have no official language and they could poke CND in the eye.
4 Smart Ways to Smoke Your Bourbon Cocktails
https://www.liquor.com/slideshows/smoked-bourbon-cocktails
I am planning to make bacon infused bourbon today. Will post an article once I get it dialed in.
Try this:
http://www.fakespot.com
I run every Amazon purchase I make through this now.
buy local
Local can’t get me this:
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
Did you or OMWC write this review?
Backyard Carnival of Death
I’m a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We’d settled on the theme of a “backyard carnival”, complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip `n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound.
We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive.
The party started off wonderfully. A clown we’d hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day.
Then we brought out the Slip `n Slide.
The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call “distributed water deficiency zones”, or in layman’s terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims–contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that’s just for starters. From there, it’s a slippery slope toward major litigation.
To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant–the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide.
The Slip `n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity.
I endeavored to roll up the mat–no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed–a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun.
I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline’s safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor’s yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss.
Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings’ full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising.
The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this, likely combined with other factors–their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground–caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls.
Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off–as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
Since then, I’ve asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we’re not covered for that.
7,313 people found this helpful
ROTFLMAO
That’s a great review.
+1 like, wood chips again!
Huh, interesting.
I think they just need a good deep-dicking.
https://www.kmov.com/news/women-are-stressed-burning-out-at-an-alarming-rate-new/article_6af2dc2d-fdb3-56ae-9c7f-5c40b965a7fb.html
/shitlord
*snort*
Those are the things they would give up to get an extra hour of free time each week. If you’re spending a hour with chocolate each week, I’m going to guess it’s not because of the Chocolate Wrestling Olympics.
100 percent actually gave up none.
Should surprise no one.
Two firefighters and two civilians were injured late Saturday in a “large explosion” and fire at a shopping and dining complex in Huntington Beach, California, the Huntington Beach Fire Department said. The area, which was hosting an Oktoberfest celebration, was ordered evacuated.
Firefighters are civilians.
https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/zwdwL2i3RrqTLHgKqIduiA.WiH1FJz2skQ5Q4OKJ-ct-7
Strip steaks for lunch. Gonna be yummy. Shown with protection, of course. ?
buy local. or raise your own.
Raised in state and purchased across the street.
buy local or reload your own
That’s not how you brought down the critter? In self-defense, of course – a man’s gotta eat!
Excellent.
Looks like a 1911.
It is.
Nice G10 grips. Is that a Kimber? Can’t read the slide on my phone.
Springfield Armory
Sweet. I have an SA MC Operator I love.
When I am not yelling at my kid, we have conversations like this:
Me: Wolf spider.
XX: He’s shaking his butt at me.
Me: He’s twerking.
XX: I’mma name him Fred.
Me: Fred the twerking wolf spider. Band name!
XX: That should be our podcast name: Twerking Wolf Spider.
NewWife talked me into seeing Ben Folds Friday.
If you are being dragged to see Folds, you can expect a cross of Mr Rogers with that kid down the street who is scary good at major-scale comping. In other words, drink heavily. Bonus track: lecture about how (other) white guys have no right to write whiny tunes given their #privilege. And that crowd: I’d rather be stuck on a flight to MCO with 100 neckbeards.
If you want to waste a perfect autumn’s evening, invite Folds to play your favorite open-air venue.
You taking her to a strip club afterwards?
NewWife is telling you she wants an abortion?
/only Ben Folds song I know
Ben Folds is the kind of artist for whom the results for web searches for his best and his worst songs returns essentially the exact same list.
I’m glad I get to drag my wife to my concerts, instead of the other way around. Although I was going to go with her to see Blondie, Garbage and whoever-the-3rd-broad-was at the hollywood bowl about a year ago.
Tony Dungy is good people
I just wish he wouldn’t do the chow-chow-chow back and forth video replay thing on Sunday Night Football. Makes me woozy. Other than that, great guy.
I kinda know what you mean.
Still, to this day, I refer to NBC’s Football Night in America after the main games are over as “the Tony Dungy show”
It’d be awesome to have tony Romo take Rodney Harrison’s spot
That WOULD be good!
I’ve probably mentioned before – I’m almost certainly the only person who misses Dennis Miller on MNF. The next morning, Britannica[dot]com would post “The Annotated Dennis Miller” to explain all his obscure cultural references.
Get rid of Booger and I can deal with the rest.
Fair.
I wouldn’t let Elizabeth sleep either.
No comment.
An epidemic is anything that’s happening that the pearl-clutching nannies don’t like.
Pigs gotta be pigs. That’s a frog-scorpian story.
Just for GT, WRT air travel.
Once, I was stuck in Philly airport, waiting to get home after working in NY. There was a group of us all headed to Dayton, and one girl was a student at Drexel U., wearing a hoodie with DREXEL on the front.
Some guy walking through the terminal (that looked dead like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds) walked past, stopped, turned around and approached us. He said, “Oh please tell me that isnt Drexel, Ohio.” She (from Lebanon) looked puzzled and said, “Ummm….no. Drexel University here.” The guy said, “Oh, thank God” and walked away.
No idea where he was from or where he was going. Just odd that someone so far away knew about Drexel.
Drexel’s reputation/notoriety/infamy obviously precedes it.
It inspired me to order a LOT of stuff from the Drexel U. Bookstore, to wear ironically.
In fact, I may sport my DREXEL BASKETBALL shirt to Meijer in a bit.
Warped Wing Brewing should do a Drexel beer – but only in bottles so you can break it to use in a fight.
I don’t recall the name and I only live an hour away.
Its a little slice of white trash heaven on the West side of Dayton
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drexel,_Ohio
Ermagherd! They have a wiki entry!
We have a Drexel Theater and Drexel Avenue on the east side. Wonder if they’re all named after the same person.
OT: does Philly really need 128 different Catholic colleges?
Anyone have any brand recommendations for a good student flute? Daughter is in 4th grade and needs a flute but there seems to be a pretty wide spread of prices.
YMMV: in guitar, the best way to compromise someone’s ability is to buy them a cheap childhood instrument, from which the coping with its deficiencies fosters a bunch of bad habits.
Maybe flutes don’t vary so much, and, anyway, who goes on to a lifetime of fun with the flute?
* glares at sad Sears learner model kept in the corner to remember where I come from *
My sister for one has gone on to a lifetime of fun with the flute.
(Music major in college, music teacher for 30 years now.)
Ian Anderson, for one.
My daughter played flute, but we bought here’s like 20 years ago. I think we went mid-range price wise. You can always trade up. We had gone to a pretty reputable shop that specialized in those sorts of instruments and they were very helpful in explaining the differences in what you were getting for the price.
Talk to the band teacher. Try to buy used. Don’t buy a piece of shit, because inevitably it leads to frustration.
New thread!!
^^^ I approve of such updates but got shouted down for same . . . . don’t get the criticism
Really? Who complains? It’s a psa!
Well, we saw Samantha fish at the Troubadour Friday night. She got jacked by being the opening act, somewhat. The mixing was halfway optimized for the headliner (Marc Broussard,) and she had to do a short set. She still ripped it up and was a pleasure to watch. I got to talk with her some and implore her to play a bigger set in L.A. sometime. I was pretty drunk, but she still seemed to appreciate my enthusiasm. The crowd was older and way too mellow for electric blues. Broussard had some dude come out and play a little lead for one song. I thought it was kinda not cool to not have Samantha come out and either play the lead herself or duet with the guy who played it. I doubt he appreciated me holding up my lit lighter and yelling for “Freebird!” a lot of the crowd seemed to get the joke, though. Anyway we partied all night and then the next day too. I’m beat. Sore throat and very tired/sore legs, and maybe a bit of a hangover. Ain’t easy being the life of a lifeless party. Fucking crowd just sat there with their phones trying to get good video.
For the life of me I don’t understand this need to video every freaking event in your life. Just chill and enjoy it.
Right? Google Samantha and you’ll get hours of her playing live.
Especially concerts. How the fuck are you going to get good video 25 yards from the stage with the crowd noise, lights, etc.
Just dig the live experience idiots!
At the troubadour, you can’t get more than 10 yards from the stage. It’s small, but your idea still stands. It was like being in a room full of zombies, all trying to stand still and hold down extraneous noise. Concerts should not be quiet and still.