There are times when one turns to the skies for advice, only for the skies to respond with “lol, get fucked. I’m going to be completely random and you can’t force me to be otherwise.” Such is the situation this week, with none of the planets wanting to have any connection or relationship with any other. Now, as contrary as the planets may want to be, they can’t avoid the fact they are actually out there in space, so we still have their relationship with the zodiac to fallback on, and one particularly interesting event will be happening.
Hail Scorpio! You begin your season already hosting Mercury and Venus for that initial luck burst, unfortunately it’s not going to last as long s you’d like, because Mercury will be going retrograde before the week is out. It will be Station Retrograde on Halloween, to be precisely. Mercury (chance, luck) retrograde (chaos) in Scorpio (secrets, darkness, genitals, creepy-crawlies) is about as perfect a Halloween event as one could hope for, so this should be a Halloween to remember.
Libra is doing its best to protect us from the conjunction of the moon with Mars (literally, the tides of war). A more self-indulgent reading of this would be that this week is an auspicious time to partake of martial games or simulations.
The cards have lots of reversed swords, warning against violence. This is not a big deal for a bunch of NAPpers
Scorpio: 6 of Swords reversed – Declaration, confession, publicity, a proposal of love
Sagittarius: 2 of Cups – Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy, the interrelation of the sexes
Capricorn: Ace of Coins reversed – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence; also great riches.
Aquarius: 4 of Cups – Weariness, disgust, aversion, imaginary vexations, blended pleasure. Since the source predates Fred Waring, daiquiris are not what is being referenced in that last bit.
Pisces: Page of Coins – Application, study, scholarship, reflection, news, messages and the bringer thereof; also rule, management.
Aries: 4 of Wands – Country life, haven of refuge, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace.
Taurus: The Hireophant – Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude, mercy and goodness; inspiration
Gemini: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place
Cancer: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.
Leo: Knight of Wands reversed – Anecdotes, announcements, evil news, indecision, instability
Virgo: Page of Swords reversed – competent person working against you, unforeseen situations, unpreparedness.
Libra: King of Swords reversed – Cruelty, perversity, barbarity, perfidy, evil intention.
Comments
188 responses to “IFLA: The “@#!!*&# Useless Stars!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of October 27”
Yeah, you right!
Looks like I might get lucky tonight.
Virgo: Page of Swords reversed – competent person working against you, unforeseen situations, unpreparedness.
Unforeseen,maybe, unprepared, never
Yeah, I doubt I’ll be unprepared either. Of course depending on what the unforeseen situation is like maybe the Spanish Inquisition, anything is possible.
“ Gemini: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place”
Whoa! Spot on. I am making a grand journey this evening to Langley, BC.
Why, thank you!
Ummm…yay?
…and this sounds altogether too interesting in a Chinese curse kind of way.
“..so this should be a Halloween to remember.”
Way to ruin the surprise, NA. I was going to show up at her house w/o pants on.
Oh, please go ahead! I’ll make sure Mr. GT answers the door!
#FullHomo
Well, I don’t know about that, but he probably won’t have pants on either.
Pants are overrated.
You say that until you wake up somewhere unexpectedly without them. I’ve got to take it easy tonight. I wasted a nearly full glass of spirits last night.
genitals, creepy-crawlies
So…crabs?
I added my picture to that gravatar thingy, I logged in/logged out of Glibs, and I cleared cache. Did I miss something in getting an avatar to appear?
Human Sacrifice?
I tried listening to Kolby and Flip and Flop, but bupkis! https://youtu.be/LMW6DtvTD-U
I need something simple. Like, “Fourscore, push this button and your avatar will magically appear and all will be right with the world” Until then…
Did you save your profile in Gravatar?
Yes I did and the pic appears on my wordpress acct.. Is there something I have to do to link Glibs to it?
Just guessing – maybe you have to be sure to use the same e-mail addy you use here?
Wait.
Nevermind. I used a fugazi email for gravatar. I think that’s the issue.
“Virgo: Page of Swords reversed – competent person working against you, unforeseen situations, unpreparedness.”
Lucky for me, I’m a badass when it comes to all of those situations. Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome.
#metoo, but we’d better knock on wood now.
i like your new avatar. I mainly use the Tortex Jazz III’s. I have a million different Dunlop picks that I mess around with. Ultex is good stuff.
I only use the ultex sharp 73s live. I prefer sharp bone picks to record distorted. Tortex orange for acoustic strumming and yellow for picking.
Dunlop is the shizzle.
It seems kind of nerdy, but yeah. Dunlop makes the best picks.
Dunlop may be, but using the body parts of dead animals to make music is not nerdy 😉
What you guys to cheap to use Blue Chip Picks?
Yes, I am. Can they be worth it?
Some people think so. And for some reason people don’t seem to lose them as much plus they don’t seem to wear. So one pick lasts a while.
They are made out of a high tech material, basically an advanced plastic with a lubricant built in. I think the material is used in bearings or similar applications for the aerospace industry among others.
Cool, thanks. I might check one out.
Gemini: The World – Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place
Not at changing my avatar. They say my #%^*& name is taken. I am too hungover for that.
only for the skies to respond with “lol, get fucked.
Once again NA is right! Science!!!!
Yes, stupid cards! I am working on my fucking homework right now!
(no euphemism)
Love the av!
It may be long-term. For some reason I can’t find my old one anywhere. There should be a jpg and a gif, but I can’t find either…
MikeS, the showoff.
Like a James Brown song, “Baby got a brand new avatar”
Show off
?
Funny guy
“Obstacles, adversity, calamity.”
?
It’s better than Gloom, Despair, and Agony…
Have some time, love and tenderness instead.
Thank goodness I have autoplay turned off.
Says the man linking to Hee Haw.
You’re welcome. ???
I really, really hope this wrong.
Roommate returned from a conference with the beginning of a cold that’s now bloomed.
My dog is recovering from one ailment only to be diagnosed with a worse one. In both cases the symptoms, or treatment, require far too frequent trips outside. Won’t know the prognosis until Wednesday or maybe Thursday. Worst case is euthanasia. Best case is ongoing steroid treatment.
I’m too old for this shit 🙁
Oh, no. Best wishes for the pup.
Thanks! He’s a sweetie, due to turn 13 in late December. Breed average is 16-20 years, so I’m not really ready for this. (But are we ever really ready?)
There’s a slim chance for complete remission, but that would look a lot like ongoing steroids except we could eventually stop.
It’s hard watching them get old. I had to wipe up a puddle this morning because pup can’t see more than a few inches in front of his nose. He’s a scotty, so he doesn’t take well to being redirected, even if I’m being extra gentle about it. He missed the front door and got stuck in the living room, but wouldn’t accept any help from me.
Indeed it is. He’s my seventh, and very likely my last.
My first 5 were all Keeshonden; none lived past 13.
I don’t know what’s tougher, watching them age, decline, and pass naturally or having to make the hard decision. Either is painful.
Yeah – story of my life.
+1
Well, at least it isn’t total calamity – I got my avatar back.
Thanks, SP!
‘Taurus: The Hireophant – Marriage, alliance, captivity,…’
You said the same thing three times.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, I wonder what happens if you try to carry that card into NYC. Does it bounce off that wired-out area, or does it burst into flame?
Eaten by a swarm of rats? Snatched away by pigeons?
Swiped by a cop during a stop-and-frisk?
So… I’ll be at the DMV all week?
(This is actually my test post to ensure Gravatar thingie is working.)
I’ll be finishing up the last week of my current job before I move. Looks like I’ll end up telling everyone to fuck off before I leave.
Another Admin note: everyone should now be able to upload a new avatar locally, and skip Gravatar. *sigh*
/gonna be another long day
Thanks for all your hard work, SP! I hope you know we’re grateful even when we gripe.
Suuuuuuurrrrre.
Thanks SP, even old guys can finally figure it out.
+100
+1
Ditto what the Traitor said.
SP, you are the absolute greatest. Thank you for this and everything else you do for us.
Thank you SP. Make sure OMWC is keeping your cocktail glass full today.
If only we were actually drinking as much as we always joke about….
You’re the bestest!
Then why are you giving me the finger?
Telling you that you’re #1!!!!
I love it when other drivers tell me that!
I like to tell people they’re #11.
I knew that was coming, I laughed anyway.
Testing…
Yay, thank you!
Thank you!
You rock, SP!
(P.S.: my new avi’s from the alien planet I recently visited . . . )
Great, thanks SP
Digging your new avatar.
That Hyena is creepy. Well done.
But some Avatars are forever.
I’m gonna be so confused for the next month as I try to reassociate everybody’s avatars with their handles..
Thanks for fixing the issues SP!
Some of us restored our old ones. ?
To be fair, the last time you changed yours, it almost caused a mutiny.
This is true.
/mutineer
I thought about restoring my old one, but it wasn’t saved on my computer. I thought about searching for it again, and said fuck it. I’ll upload something new.
#metoo
I changed mine, but not that much.
Like I said, forever. Future Supreme Overlord cannot change his avatar.
Thanks SP!!!!
Thank you!
Thanks, SP.
Thanks, SP.
This is the first half-decent Gemini horoscope I’ve seen. I was beginning to get a complex.
Just be glad you’re not a Capricorn or you would already probably be broke, desolate, and probably dead.
Huh. I’d have the same outcome in my life if I’d simply taken my two brothers’ advice for the last 40 years.
Never take the advice of siblings, or people, in general.
At least nobody put mercury in our Gatorade.
“Capricorn: Ace of Coins reversed – The evil side of wealth, bad intelligence; also great riches.”
“The evil side of wealth”
You mean like free markets and capitalism? Yeah, I’m all in.
#CapricornsRpeople2 /the resistance shall continue
So, a normal week.
A story that will be familiar to many Glibertarians.
Damn
The problem is if we start exchanging gifts someone will go to jail. You can’t mail hookers and blow legally.
Sagittarius: 2 of Cups – Love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, sympathy, the interrelation of the sexes
I guess i had better comb my hair before I go to town.
Just wear a trucker hat – the stars guarantee success no matter how you look! (That’s how this works, right?)
Weariness, disgust, aversion
I’m certainly not looking forward to Monday.
blended pleasure
Pizza and beer is good.
I need something simple. Like, “Fourscore, push this button and your avatar will magically appear and all will be right with the world”
#METOO
Here’s hoping SP’s new fix does the trick.
I’ve been thinking about a new avatar. The half-assed search will commence… later. First i gotsta go to the grocery store, and then the Mexican GP is on….
I dun it! Took all morning but I dun it ! You can do it, PBrooks, c’mon, you can do it, I know you can !
“Virgo: Page of Swords reversed – competent person working against you, unforeseen situations, unpreparedness.”
C’mon man, isn’t the shit ever gonna stop?
Now, if I can just find where I put Mr. Mulligans’ steamshovel.
It’s in the basement.
Heh. You’re right
My new avatar is the same as the old one
Wait, wait, avatar?
I haven’t been able to see them for days. But today I can see all the ones from posts before I opened the page and nothing after.
Anecdotes, announcements, evil news, indecision, instability
Huh. Shitty week.
Hey, at least my husband is in it with me!
there’s so many ways to go with this…
New stories?
Achievement unlocked!
She’s back up to the Bdsm stuff again. May I give some advice to your hubby? It’d be really fun if he can lock you in the broom closet for a couple of weeks and occasionally only come to the door to pass the gruel through the door slit and tell you that you’re the worst, while we work on restoring our family friendly status.
There’s a book for that.
I read this to Mr. Mojeaux. He scoffed and said this place should never have had a family friendly designation.
What about Manson family-friendly?
Lost all my murderous tendencies in a tragic boating accident.
I refuse to read books like that — I’m afraid I’ll start liking ’em.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
That author is not me, by the way. It was too intense for me and I am not particularly attracted to that lifestyle.
I’m way too lazy to be into BDSM. Time and energy suck.
“He scoffed and said this place should never have had a family friendly designation.”
Heresy!
Clearly, I need a remedial computer class.
Email me your image and I’ll upload it for you. Website@ this domain
/cut to two weeks later
/package with a framed picture is delivered to SP’s house
Well, my family IS all mennonite. Thas how they’d do it.
Click the button that says choose image. Do so. Click the upload button. Update profile button. (now to see if it worked)
Yay, all fixed, although the avatars got bigger (which is a plus, maybe I can tell what y’all’s are now)
Thanks mom!
I just want to know who stole my name on Gravatar.
I am making 2/24 (2 days, 24 beers) chili. Cleaned out the freezer and added ham and leftover smoker beans to it. It is good but one of those recipes that will never be able to be reproduced.
Victory laps in relation to killing an enemy I find distasteful.
https://www.redstate.com/elizabeth-vaughn/2019/10/27/reporter-asks-trump-notified-congressional-leaders-al-baghdadi-raid-decided-not-washington-leaks-like-i’ve-never-seen/
True, but kicking Congress in the nads gets a thumbs up.
Avatar check
Success! Lost the old image in the sands of time (two laptops and another hard drive ago) so this will have to do. Thanks, SP!
I hope you’re doing well Festus!
^What he said!
^ what she said about what he said ^
+11
How are you feeling? How is your recovery going?
Waiting for more testing and an ultrasound so hopefully under the knife within three weeks or so and then however long to recover from that. Applied for short-term disability but the wheels of socialized everything grind mighty slow. To be honest I’m feeling much better after the first crisis so now its mostly beerless boredom and feeling tired all the time. Thanks for asking, Guys!
Good to hear, Festus
Yes, good to hear. Best wishes for a complete and speedy recovery!
Yay, Festus!!!
Wifey and I spent the weekend turning a 9 lb. pork butt into about 7 pounds of pulled pork. Making biscuits now. Rockaway Beach is getting lashed with rain and high winds but we have a handle of Wild Turkey 101 and are gonna stuff ourselves silly on pulled pork/biscuit sliders.
As appropriate, my last flight was on the Bear Force One.
Another view.
Do the Bruins know about these guys?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bearforce_1
It is a plane full of burly gay men in speedos isn’t it?
The Left Doesn’t Get You
“Leo: Knight of Wands reversed – Anecdotes, announcements, evil news, indecision, instability”
Hmm. I can think of one organization we are expecting to hear from next week on a very big decision. I’ve had a bad feeling.
The Debunkers VS Gun Control BS
Aries: Aries: 4 of Wands – Country life, haven of refuge, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace.
Pretty sure that was this past week, so if it’s more of that, bring it!!
(Aside from the faceplant fat lip incident yesterday)
I am at church, on my phone.
Festus, glad to see you!!!
SP, thank you for all you do. When we get back on our feet, I will donate.
Re the un- and underemployed arts and humanities majors (linked the other night). As an artist with a day job, much of your success depends on how well you can market your work. Hello, Deviant Art.
“ Libra: King of Swords reversed – Cruelty, perversity, barbarity, perfidy, evil intention.”
Hey, we’re not Capricorn’s you know.
You old goat!
15 degrees, snowing. Going to make some homemade antelope meatballs and drink this Malbec.
Ergo: my life rules.
Snow… I remember that shit.
Oh yeah, that cold white stuff. Don’t snort it, that’s my advice.
From librarian to cowgirl in a week.
The A/C hasn’t kicked on for about 6 days here, but it did this afternoon. If only Trump wasn’t such a poopy-head.
15 degrees, snowing.
80 degrees and sunny (after some rain this morning). Still chardonnay weather for me. Also, making country style ribs with Carolina Classic sauce.
78 here, sun came out after the weekly monsoon. Beer, stir fry with a spicy General Tsao sauce. This one is pretty good, more spicy than sweet.
Aaaaaaaand the Bungles are behind. Again.
Gofastturnleft it is.
They really are looking like the Bungles of old, the Bungles of lore.
#Whodead
They need to quickly find a guy named ‘Boomer’, or ‘Cookie’, or ‘Skipper’ or anything that says ‘I just sailed in on my yacht’. It’s the only way.
Who also plays Steely Dan.
And Boz Scaggs.
Biff in his Top Siders.
I’m thinking the Bungles win maybe 1-2 games this year. Their game against the Dolphins may not only be for the first pick in next year’s draft, but which one actually wins a game this year.
In the late afternoon game, Ohio’s other team gets slaughtered by the team from the opposite coast, and tonight’s game is Packers, Chiefs, and wall-to-wall State Farm commercials.
That’s because they voted for Badorangeman. Fate sucks.
I move across the country in 10 days. So naturally I finally worked up the courage to go talk to the hotty who’s been eyeing me all summer. Despite my best efforts she seems to be in to me ?. I swear the best way to meet women is to be totally unavailable.
Dude, just grab her by the pussy, stop wasting time.
#WhatwouldDonalddo?
Or just hand her your wallet and tell her to kick you in the nuts.
But…why?
I guess we’ll never know.?
I’m guessing a dropped >
Eh, screw it. Wasn’t that important and thread is dead.