Friday Afternoon Links

Well, as I write this (a couple of hours before it posts), I am opening Friday beer one. Also, finishing the last of my obligations to people who aren’t family for the weekend (but you guys are really close. Really). And then I have to hang curtains in the guest room my wife painted about six weeks ago and has sat un-finished until I offered to help today.

UPDATE: Scene from a curtain hanging

Her: Those curtains don’t touch the floor, we’ll have to rehang everything.

Me: But your sheet right here said 90″, and the curtains are supposed to be 95″. What are they? Dick inches?

Her: What?

Me: Never mind. What does the box say for curtain length?

Her: (looks at full box of curtains) These say 95″

Me: What does the box these curtains came out of say?

Her: Oh, 84″.

Me: I think I have a faster solution than rehanging the curtain rod…

I’m going to add Mojeaux to people who I love/hate doing links afterwards. I don’t think it’s Bowie’s cod that left me feeling inadequate.

CNN launches pre-emptive strike on Michael Bloomberg.

I should really get into this genre. I can make shit up, too! Oh wait, SF owns the space.

Silicon Valley discovers asceticism, thinks they invented it.

Weather (not climate) imminent.

 

Here’s a fun live song.

Comments

457 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. Count Potato

    “The 259-page book – which was published by Twelve, an imprint of Grand Central Publishing/Hachette Book Group, and goes on sale Nov. 19 – does not re-create many specific episodes in vivid detail, which the author writes was intentional to protect his or her identity.”

    Wow, anonymous and purposefully vague.

    1. Tonio

      Surely the new standard for objective truth.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought that was out of favor.

      2. Ozymandias

        Hachette Book Group

        Hatchet (phonetic) Book Group?
        You can’t make this stuff up.

        1. blackjack

          It’s a hatchet job all right.

          1. Ozymandias

            Thank you, blackjack, for acknowledging my bad word play. The rest of these Philistines couldn’t even give me that.

    2. one true athena

      My theory, with nothing to back it up but it would be great, is that mr “MFA in Creative Writing” Ben Rhodes wrote it. I know, I know, it’s supposedly written by someone in the “Trump Administration” but c’mon, these weasels all lie, so why wouldn’t they lie about this?

      And look at some of the excerpts, they just reek of someone who can’t really write but thinks he’s brilliantly poetic.

      That’s my story and I will laugh over it, until and unless we learn it’s someone else.

    3. “his or her identity”

      Such shitlording assuming pronounage.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Tall Cans!
    Howdy!

    1. Nephilium

      /hoists a Calfe towards Yusef

      I’m here for a bit before heading out to Tremont for food, more drinks, and some meandering.

      1. Shirley Knott

        Is Black Cat still there? Their tapenade was superb. When I lived there. In the 02/03 timeframe they also excelled at pork loin. I miss the Tremont.

        1. Nephilium

          Not to my knowledge (and a quick Google search doesn’t return anything). Grumpy’s is still there, and Professor Ave. is a full on gentrified restaurant row now. We’re going to check out a new place that opened for dinner. Then abuse the drink specials for the walkabout. Probably stop in to torment my niece at her place of work as well (she’s a bartender).

    2. MikeS

      Tall (Hefe) Cans!

      Hallo!

  3. Ozymandias

    第一?

    1. Ozymandias

      Merde.
      第三。

    2. いいえ。

    3. Sensei

      残念

  4. CPRM

    I should really get into this genre. I can make shit up, too! Oh wait, SF owns the space.

    Yes, SF is definitely ‘a person familiar with the President’s thinking.’ I’d like to think I make that cut as well.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I like to believe he’s not making it up.

      *c’mon world… BURN!*

      1. Bobarian LMD

        SugarFree is actually Mike Pence?

    2. The Other Kevin

      Lear’s wait and see how many they sell. If the book does well, I think a lot of glibs are headed for early retirement.

  5. Sigh.

    I’ve completely derailed all momentum. Can’t seem to muster more words.

    1. Ozymandias

      Don’t beat yourself up, UCS. It happens. The Muse occasionally take a Friday afternoon off, too. Pour yourself a drink and fuhgeddaboutit.

    2. Tonio

      Hey, at least you ran out of steam. My muse has been stingy of late.

    3. Suthenboy

      It is called writer’s block and every writer gets it. You are tired. Take a break. Spend some time consuming what others have produced….watch a bunch of really stupid movies and have a few drinks. Get sleep. Lots of sleep. Wait a month or two and trust me….you will be on fire again.

      1. It’ not.

        I’ve had writer’s block. Writer’s block is when there’s no ideas in the head.

        I’m just not getting the words on the page.

        1. Not Adahn

          Maybe the pen’s out of ink?

        2. bacon-magic

          Have you tried hallucinogens or hookers?

        3. I do not know how to help.

          Those times I have just made myself put words down on paper, I hate what I wrote, and then I find out that’s what people really liked.

          1. Tonio

            ^This. Ugh.

            Agree that writers block is different than fatigue or burnout.

            Writers block only affects my fiction, and I can generally crank out research, op-ed, etc during those times.

            And then there is that awful place where the act of constructing sentences and typing them is repugnant.

          2. Ozymandias

            #methree

    4. Don’t you have a job?

      Oh wait, you’re a civil servant.

      Got it. ; )

      1. I’m a civil servant… on vacation this week.

    5. I mustered 600 words for a short article for a client this afternoon. I hate writing that kind of stuff, but I love getting paid for having written that kind of stuff.

  6. CPRM

    Me: I think I have a faster solution than rehanging the curtain rod…

    New baby arrives in 9 months?

    1. R C Dean

      So, she had the right size curtains all along.

      Where are the shorter curtains supposed to go?

      1. Brett L

        Apparently downstairs

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Brett’s a Florida Man, the solution involves raising the floor thru illicit means.

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Democratic groups threw at least $54 million at Virginia—an unprecedented sum in an election that didn’t feature a single federal office—outspending Republicans by some $12 million. Outside groups accounted for at least $22 million of the Democratic effort, nearly four times what they spent in 2015. Three billionaires—Michael Bloomberg, Tom Steyer and George Soros—and their organizations spent more than all outside Republican contributors combined.

    Fucking foreigners

    1. Tonio

      If only we could get money out of politics.

      But at least the loathsome Debra Rodman, she of the trademark cat-eye glasses, lost. Not that I have much use for Dunnavant, but at least she’s not Rodman.

      1. Chipwooder

        Yeah, I mentioned that Wednesday – I’m not thrilled that Dunnavant kept her seat, but it beat’s the hell out of Cat Lady, the abortion crusader.

      2. JaimeRoberto Delecto

        You’re ignoring the exchange rate between blue dollars and red dollars. It’s at least 1000:1. That’s how the Russians swayed the election with $100K in Facebook ads.

    2. Rhywun

      “We only play along because the Republicans force us to. Otherwise money is totally evil and stuff.”

    3. Raston Bot

      my state now has two whole years of incompetent governance to suffer. coal industry, firearms, taxes. this could be a completely different state by the end. and demographics of leviathan being what they are, i’m not optimistic the conservative electorate will recover.. which is why i told my wife we are out of here. looking at Maine. i think the icy temps have retarded the spread of progressivism beyond Portland.

    4. Semi-Spartan Dad

      So why aren’t the Repubs pointing at Soros and claiming foreign election interference? Surely, they could spin this Russian election interference bs around just like #metoo turned on the Dems.

      1. R C Dean

        Maybe because he’s a US citizen.

        1. Semi-Spartan Dad

          Is he donating directly from his personal wealth or is funneled through his foundations? I’d imagine the foundations are international even if some have branches in the US. No idea on that level of detail though.

    5. Chipwooder

      When the fuck is Soros going to finally, mercifully die?

      1. one true athena

        I’m still hoping for James Bond to take him out.

        1. Ozymandias

          Am I the only one who looks at that guy and is immediately reminded of Palpatine?

  8. To speak of the instances when Trump was completely wrong…

    According to Lee Smith’s new book, after Trump fired Michael Flynn he told Chris Christie that the “Russia thing is all over now.”

  9. Suthenboy

    “CNN launches pre-emptive strike on Michael Bloomberg.”
    She has to get in the race. She has no choice. She is just gonna have to make the sacrifice.

    “In “A Warning” by Anonymous, obtained by The Washington Post”
    Ok, they are just trolling now, right? I mean, C’mon.

    “DOPAMINE FASTS: WHY SILICON VALLEY TECH WORKERS ARE AVOIDING FOOD, TV, SEX, MUSIC, EXERCISE AND EYE CONTACT”
    *raises hand, bobs up and down in seat* I know this one! I know this one!……Because they are nuttier than a train load of squirrel turds? That’s it, isn’t it!?

    “How a warmer earth could mean more snow”
    *facepalm* Are these weasels still at it? Christ on a cracker, give it up already. Hint: You have zero credibility left. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. You are getting into negative numbers here.

    1. R C Dean

      So, a book by an anonymous author that is intentionally vague on details.

      Sure. Totes credible.

      1. Sean

        #believeit

        ??

      2. Rhywun

        I wonder how many other friendly media outlets managed to “obtain” an advance copy.

        1. Jarflax

          All the one’s with mailing addresses?

    2. They’re introvert nerds who live in a weird bubble and have employers who pull out all the stops trying to keep them at their desk for all waking hours?

      Notice what’s missing: video games.

    3. R C Dean

      AVOIDING FOOD, TV, SEX, MUSIC, EXERCISE AND EYE CONTACT

      Pretty much part of the gig when you work 80+ hours per week.

    4. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Let’s see a warmer world is a wetter world which means more snow except there will be less snow but perhaps more snow cover which will reflect more sunlight back into space cooling off the world which will make for a drier , colder world so there will be less snow but people will burn more fossil fuels to stay warm which means… ah forget about it. It’s apparently a complex system.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Something something feedback loop?

  10. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Curtain rods trip me up for some reason. I installed streetlights/outlets/hundreds of feet of electric cable in three underground runs, put in 1/2 mile of field fencing, installed the water heater, but there’s still a bunch of holes in the wall from the last time I tried to install a curtain rod. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

    1. Studfinder + laser level = only redoing it a couple times.

      1. R C Dean

        We have this plaster coating on our walls which appears to be 100% effective in rendering studfinders 100% ineffective.

        Also in blocking wifi signals.

        But it looks nice.

        1. Wire-reinforcement?

          1. R C Dean

            No, just a plaster coating over drywall.

            Looks great, at least after the Magic Paint Man comes and does his two-color, water dilution, dry brush thing. When he quits working, nobody will be able to do any touch up or repair on our interior walls.

          2. Tonio

            ^This. If your house is older it has plaster on a wire mesh backing. The backing is called lathe (rhymes with “path”).

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It’s actually lath.

            /Ted off

          4. Putting lath on a lathe gets you… a dowel.

          5. R C Dean

            Nope. Built in 2008, drywall with a plaster coat finish.

            I’ve had ye olde lath and plaster walls.* This ain’t that.

            *Protip: wallpaper became a thing because they crack, and nothing hides those cracks better than wallpaper. As I learned to my sorrow after stripping a bunch of wallpaper off of lath and plaster walls.

          6. Tonio

            Each and every one of you people may now bite me.

          7. No thanks, you’d probably enjoy that.

          8. I’m a girl, so…

          9. Gustave Lytton

            A mouth is a mouth, same as downtown.

          10. MikeS

            Is it still called lath if it’s wire mesh? Because lath is wood slats.

          11. I would imagine the two are not mutually exclusive methods. I’ve seen stranger things from old construction.

          12. MikeS

            Should have scrolled down to see the pedant party before pedanting.

            Here’s my lathe (soon…soon)

          13. MikeS

            I meant if it’s only wire mesh.

          14. Once upon a time I would have drooled over that.

            Now I just see drudgery.

          15. Sean

            Yes it is.

            Diamond lath.

          16. Fancy machine.

            I’d be happy with one of the solid analog monsters I learned on.

          17. Tonio

            I’ve got both in my house.

          18. MikeS

            I’ve got both in my house.

            Nobody needs two kinds of lath in their house.

        2. That would be frustrating. I got a Franklin studsensor a few months back, and it cleared up any issues my prior studfinder had with the normal gypsum walls.

          1. Tonio

            I bought a studfinder. I keep pushing the “Find Stud” button and it keeps coming up with error code 707.

          2. Oh, you must have an antique studfinder. It’s pointing you to the flight attendant on the nearest 707.

          3. Tonio

            Not known for being the studly type.

          4. Private Chipperbot

            /sigh. I went through the trouble of signing in to make a studfinder joke. Dammit. Well, beers it is.

          5. Nephilium

            There was an old adventure game that used that joke as a solution. You were a geeky type who was trying to get a bunch of girls to follow you to a party. You had to give them a studfinder while carrying a bunch of 2 x 4s.

          6. Ozymandias

            Did you check the thermostat??

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Knowing where the studs are in a house? Priceless

    2. R C Dean

      Curtain rods trip me up for some reason.

      If you are tripping on your curtain rods, then you are definitely doing it wrong.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Damn you Sir!

    3. Suthenboy

      “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

      *looks at walls, heavy sigh*

      Trust me brother, it aint just you. I can tell the same story. Hell, I have built several buildings, decks, ddid all of the wiring and plumbing. I built a freakin’ bridge over flowing water, but goddamned if I can hang a curtain rod. I just hear the words ‘hang curtains’ and I get a knot in my stomach.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Just do what I did next time and tape cardboard to the windows.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Foil keeps the brain-waves on the right side of the window.

    5. Bobarian LMD

      If they’re tripping you, you’re probably installing them too low.

      1. Jarflax

        You guys keep grabbing that low hanging fruit.

  11. I’m going to add Mojeaux to people who I love/hate doing links afterwards. I don’t think it’s Bowie’s cod that left me feeling inadequate.

    Um…I’m sorry?

    What are they? Dick inches?

    Ded. D-e-d ded.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Flashback Friday: WHO IS THE MASTER?

  13. Tonio

    After the 2018 killing of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi by Saudi agents, the author writes, Trump vented to advisers and said he would be foolish to stand up to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.

    Khasoggi was a Saudi subject who voluntarily entered the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul. Regrettable, but not America’s circus and not our monkeys.

    1. R C Dean

      Trump . . . said he would be foolish to stand up to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman

      Yeah, that sounds exactly like Trump.

      “Oh, the mean Saudi kilt one of his own people. I so skeert of him!”

    2. But he was a journalist, so more important than mere mortals.

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    IT’S HERE! LEGEND AND CLARKSON’S VERSION OF BABY IT’S COLD OUTISDE!

    The lyrics literally make no sense.

    And it’s utterly…..charmless.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I776VyXJab4

    I prefer the version sung by Buddy and Jovie better.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      drop the ‘better’.

    2. Certified Public Asshat

      This was in the morning links and I know I saw you there

      *squints at Rufus*

      1. Bobarian LMD

        He’s a puppet, there was a different hand up his ass this morning.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        I musta missed it.

        Oh well.

        /pulls pants down and moons everyone.

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          Must be cold in here too.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Freaky Friday: Russians

    1. Tonio

      Scruffy. Buddy. I think you’ve been hanging out here to long. Maybe take a break. Somewhere nice and quiet. I hear Pungoteague is nice this time of year.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I wish I knew how to quit you guys.

    2. Chipwooder

      There’s porn for literally EVERY fetish!

    3. Jarflax

      I think he is tossing her salad wrong.

  16. Drake

    ‘It Wasn’t Me’: Alleged ABC Whistleblower Denies Leaking Video

    The fucks running our media may have ruined the wrong person’s career. I hope she can sue the hell out of all of them.

    1. R C Dean

      Yeah, I saw today where all she has been accused of is “accessing” the video. And for that they ran her down at another network and got her fired.

      I’m seeing a nasty tortious interference lawsuit and a phat settlement coming down the road.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      JFC what a mess and pit of snakes media is.

      “Bianco said she “never even heard of Project Veritas” before the video came out, and Project Veritas has come out and said that Bianco was not the person who leaked the video, Kelly reported Friday.”

      You’re in media and never heard of PV?

      I can’t wrap my head around people in the NEWS not knowing stuff I KNOW in another country.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They live in a bubble. Nothing outside the bubble is acceptable for consumption, it may corrupt them, so they ignore it.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          I know but man I thought even in a bubble stuff filtered in. It’s just that they didn’t care. Looks like they don’t even let information through.

          Media is a cult.

          1. Rhywun

            She’s 25 years old. There are probably a lot of things she’s never heard of.

        2. Suthenboy

          I bet she doesn’t know anyone that voted for Nixon either.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            McGovern voted for Nixon.

      2. Chipwooder

        Well, they’re icky, see.

      3. B.P.

        Maybe that’s why these stings keep happening. You’d think media outlets/progressive nonprofits/etc. would be handing out laminated photos of the Project Veritas people to their employees at this point.

    3. B.P.

      Google the principals of this story, and you’ll see that it’s pretty much only right-wing news covering it. Weird.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        There is no collusion among media. What are you, a conspiracy theorist?

        1. Sean

          Nope, I just find tin foil hats to be stylish.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        And the media plays the ‘right-wing media are reporting’ angle to discredit it. It’s pretty obvious their game.

      3. Drake

        The open brazeness of this is the amazing part.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Out of curiosity, if you were the one that send Veritas the video in question, wouldn’t you deny it after being made?

      1. Ozymandias

        OTOH, given how “amazing” the Media is at doing real investigative journalism, figure the odds that they fucked this up.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          I’m just pointing out both are possible.

  17. Sean

    Are we missing any commenters?

    https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/naked-bloody-man-assaults-women-while-nearby-home-burns-lehigh/article_2022d64e-0241-11ea-b8c7-cbc6d109dc4b.html

    Authorities suspect drugs may have been involved in Pammer’s behavior, police said.

    That’s some mighty fine ?‍♀️ work.

    1. Chipwooder

      Why was Florida Man in Pennsylvania?

      1. Rhywun

        Pennsylvania is the Florida of the north.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          What’s Ohio chopped liver?

          1. Ohio chopped liver is a version of liver and onions where they serve it minced extra fine and on top of spaghetti.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Skyline Liver.

          3. That would be better than whatever that crap Skyline calls chili is.

          4. Hyperion

            Gold Star is the best chain store chili. I based my own starting with theirs. Now mine is superior to theirs, but it took years of experimentation to get there.

          5. Not Adahn

            chain store chili

            Ow.

            *brain attempts to leap out of my ears*

          6. Caput Lupinum

            Ohio is the white people of the north.

    2. CPRM

      Keep the home fire burning.

    3. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      He didn’t start the fire. He was just living in Allentown.

      1. Chipwooder

        Working for Mr. Cacciatore down on Sullivan St, across from the medical center.

  18. Certified Public Asshat

    The federal government electrified America as part of the New Deal.We put people on the moon 50 years ago.We can sure as hell transform our energy system away from fossil fuels to 100% renewables today.— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) November 8, 2019

    Electrify the moon too.

    1. Bern, running more cable and building working technology is one thing, but your list of renewable options produce less energy than they take to make. It’s like saying we can make orbit by spinning up a flywheel using a perpetual motion machine.

      1. Sensei

        Shhh, he’s on a roll.

        Remember math is hard.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      I’m for installing nuclear power on the moon. With a missile.

    3. “We put people on the moon 50 years ago”

      We should really go get them. They are probably hungry.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Craft services on the sound stage are taking care of them.

    4. A woman houses a small human as part of pregnancy. She made milk for her kid for an entire year. She can sure as hell transform into a mermaid today.

      /no less stupid than Commie Geezer

    5. Gustave Lytton

      The federal government electrifiedseized control of private electric companies that were already electrifying America as part of the New Deal.

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah and us city suckers paid for it with an extra fee tacked onto our bill.

  19. Curtains are for suckers.

    1. Florida Man

      Roller shades or GTFO!

    2. Says the guy in the pocket of Big Venetian Blind!!!!!!!

    3. commodious spittoon

      Put those curtains down.

  20. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    Considering all the effort the corporate press has put into protecting the identity of the Ukraine whistleblower, you’d think he were a pedophile or something

      1. Oh look, the most embarassing superlawyer whose name I recognize – only because it’s attached to the most obviously guilty defendant in a tortious interference case I’ve also heard of.

        1. Ozymandias

          For those who have been following the anthrax series – and keeping close notes for the test at the end! – you may notice that lawyer’s name showed up a few chapters ago. He had one or two anthrax refusers out of 29 Palms.

          1. The timing of the articles means I’ve not seen most of them.

            Sorry.

      2. Chipwooder

        Not only does he do that, but he’s a big big fan of adolescent Disney channel actresses.

        1. … 18 subscribers?

          Now that’s just sad.

    1. CPRM

      Something something pizza…

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      The farce of protecting a name that’s out there and everyone who follows the news knows just further convinces me that they’re suffering from a mass delusion and/or they think the public are morons.

      1. Rhywun

        They’re not wrong.

  21. Hyperion

    Friday beer #5. No 5 is alive.

    Just looking for houses to buy all the time.

    I like this one, HOA fee… Oh, fuck off…

    Look at this one, HOA fee… Oh, fuck off…

    1. “Short Circuit” another film where if you take away the yelling, the “bad guy” is acting completely rationally for having a free-roaming killer robot not responding to commands to return or shut down.

      1. Hyperion

        What was her name… Alley something? I thought she was really cute at the time. I don’t remember, that was so long ago…

        1. Chipwooder

          Ally Sheedy

        2. B.P.

          Ally Sheedy. She was supposed to be the homely one in The Breakfast Club.

          1. Hyperion

            She was in that? Who was the redhead, wasn’t she supposed to be the hot one?

          2. Molly Ringwald.

          3. Hyperion

            Oh, yeah. That’s right! Wasn’t she like the bride of Satan in The Stand?

          4. Hyperion

            Moj, are you telling me you never watched The Stand? Don’t you write? That’s the greatest made for TV movie of all time.

          5. It’s not high on my watchlist or to-be-read pile, no.

          6. B.P.

            Molly Ringwald was cast as the hot one. Ally Sheedy was the one in the back, in frumpy clothes, hiding under bangs, and acting strange.

          7. Hyperion

            Who was the Emo dude? I should remember all this, but I’m old…

          8. Emilio Estevez was the jock.
            Anthony Michael Hall was the nerd.
            Judd Nelson was the delinquent.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Johnny Five became the prototype for the Terminator series of killer robots. And now you know the rest of the story.

        1. Johnny 5 is responsible for the Wokepocalypse? NOOOO!!!!

    2. Hyperion

      I do have an eye on one though that I found today. Probably best man cave I’ve ever seen, the bar and the entertainment area in the basement, it has to be, just the basement, at least 2000 sq ft and it’s all open. You could have your own football game down there. And the bar is made of stonework and there’s a stone fireplace right in the middle to match. Wife not as excited as me and she’s like ‘Are you crazy! I’m not cleaning that house, it’s too big!’, lol.

      I would never even come out from the basement, except to grill stuff or go visit clients. Wife could occupy the over world, the kitchen is really nice too. Guys cannot win, why do we do this to ourselves? It really is a curse, Eve and that damn snake.

      1. Want our house? We’d probably sell it for what we paid, and we’ll be in TX the day after it sells.

        1. Hyperion

          Didn’t you say that it was close to 1 mil or more than 900K anyway? If so, no way. I’m not selling my soul for a home and I can’t actually believe my co-workers are doing it. I have 2 persons in my dev group who have mortgages of over 1 million, and I’m like ‘Are you fucking crazy!?’. Nah, our budget is 400K or less. And there are some great home here for that price, you just have to drive a little more.

          1. Where are you at? I only paid $82k for my 1300 sqft house.

          2. Hyperion

            I was talking to the Usurper of Supreme Overlord status, upthread.

            82K? OK. 1300 sq ft., no.

          3. Worse, it has no lawn to tell people to get off of.

          4. Hyperion

            Oh, I’m in Balmer, soon to exit. But only as far as outlying areas or southern, PA, York Co, to be specific, for now. NOVA has become extremely unaffordable and their residents obviously want it to become worse judging by the way they are voting lately.

            The thing about PA is that the real estate prices there are less, but the taxes are 2x the time they are in the counties north of Balmer. PA, not a friendly state, tax wise, even less than MD.

          5. Good luck getting out of Balmer.

          6. Hyperion

            “Good luck getting out of Balmer.”

            No luck needed, bro. I’m out. Fuck this shit. Imagine you are one of only 50 non-felons living in a city of 600 thousand people, only 10K of them not on welfare. If you enjoy getting summoned every week for jury duty and having a water main break and power outage, undrivable roads, and the highest taxes anywhere around, just move there. Otherwise, never do it, ever.

          7. Hyperion

            “Hyperion, leaving Baltimore.”

            That’s exactly how I imagine it!

          8. In that case, congrats at getting out of Balmer.

          9. Mortgages over $1million? That’s absolutely insane. And who approves someone for that mortgage?

            Sheesh.

          10. leon

            What’s the name of the bank that bought WeWork?

          11. Hyperion

            “That’s absolutely insane”

            Yes, it is. That’s what I’ve told my co-workers. Things go underwater and you’ll get crushed to death by the overlying pressure. No.Fucking.Way.

          12. Didn’t you say that it was close to 1 mil or more than 900K anyway?

            No, the houses we were looking to upgrade to were in that range, and it’s a big reason why we’re not sticking around. We paid $370k for our place. It’s 50 years old, smaller than youre looking for, and out in the rural crescent of prince william County.

          13. Hyperion

            Yeah, then I get it. I’m sure you can find that house in TX for the range you are looking for. I don’t even want to pay over 400K here, and not really more than 300 if we can avoid it. Everything here is over priced.

          14. Certified Public Asshat

            Just move to Westminster and get it over with.

          15. Hyperion

            We’re moving to Carrol County, or York PA, or Frederick County or Harford for sure. Probably Carrol.

  22. Derpetologist

    Friday Fun Fact Frolic

    The Christofilos Effect

    In the 1960s, Nicolas Christofilos, a former Greek elevator mechanic and self taught physicist was working on a project to shield the US from enemy missiles. The method was to detonate hundreds of nuclear weapons in space to create a radioactive layer that would disable the guidance and arming mechanisms of missiles that passed through. The initial test did not produce the expected radiation and the project was cancelled.

    The US and the USSR both conducted nuclear tests during the Cuban missile crisis. They had been scheduled way in advance and there was a great reluctance to cancel them.

    There was a plan to build 10,000 megaton bombs named Gnomon and Sundial powerful enough to obliterate a continent.

    Raising hippos for fun and profit

    ***
    In the U.S., Representative Robert F. Broussard of Louisiana introduced the “American Hippo bill” in 1910 to authorise the importation and release of hippopotamus into the bayous of Louisiana.[59][60] Broussard argued that the hippos would eat the invasive water hyacinth that was clogging the rivers and also produce meat to help solve the American meat crisis.[60][61] The chief collaborators and proponents of Broussard’s bill were Major Frederick Russell Burnham and Captain Fritz Duquesne.[62][63] Former President Theodore Roosevelt backed the plan, as did the U.S. Department of Agriculture, The Washington Post, and The New York Times which praised the taste of hippo as “lake cow bacon”.[62] The “American Hippo Bill” fell just short of being passed.[60]
    ***

    Mmm, lake cow bacon…

    1. CPRM

      Hippos, the Cain Toad of the Bayou.

      1. Fun fact, the Cane Toad infestation actually shows accidental selective breeding. The rate of advance of the front of the infestation increases year over year, because the toads at the foremost are the fastest and most enduring hoppers, who in turn breed with the others in their area of maturity, creating a feedback cycle where the leading edge is populated mostly by Cane Toads bred for long-range forward migration.

      2. Derpetologist

        The Cane Toad has met its match: Crow

        https://www.islandconservation.org/crafty-crows-eat-poisonous-cane-toads/

        ***
        How do they do it? The crows have learned to avoid the most toxic part of the toad, the large parotid glands on the neck and shoulders. When the toad is threatened, milky white poison called bufotoxin oozes from these glands. Any contact with this poison results in death. According to the Global Invasive Species Database, it can kill lizards, snakes, cats, dogs, and even humans. Crows know to avoid the ooze by holding the toads by their bony brow above the eyes or by their limbs. Then they roll the toads onto their backs and eat the best pieces while avoiding contact with the lethal parts. This technique is a testament to crows’ cleverness; scientists believe that other crows watch and learn while this process is happening. This could explain why crows living 3,000 miles from Brisbane have exhibited similar behaviors.
        ***

        1. CPRM

          Next the crows learn how to carry fire sticks and take over Australia.

        2. Crows are awesome. Ravens form a plot point in Cods & Cuntes, so I’ve been researching corvids like crazy. I wish I could have a raven for a pet, but it would probably eat my cats. They fascinate me.

          1. You have your cat… “Nevermore”.

          2. MikeS

            *narrows gaze*

          3. Hyperion

            Get a bigger cat.

          4. *pictures Raven standing on head of a panther in Mojeaux’s living room*

          5. It wouldn’t eat my cats, but it would poke at them to annoy them. That’s what they do, annoy other beings. On purpose. Because it’s fun.

          6. Hyperion

            Like I said, get a bigger cat. No bird with any brains at all would fuck with a top hunter house cat. I mean unless it’s a huge owl or a hawk.

          7. Florida Man

            At least now I know what kind of furry I am.

          8. Dr. Fronkensteen

            If your cats have their claws, that might be game over faster than you think. And not necessarily in the Raven’s favor.

          9. Hyperion

            I had a large Tabby barn cat that killed so many birds I couldn’t count them. And everything else that moved that wasn’t bigger than him and he was around 15 lbs.

          10. R C Dean

            I wish I could have a raven for a pet, but because it would probably eat my cats.

            That’s what you meant, right?

      3. Hyperion

        You know, it’s sort of funny, I remember hippos as a kid, that quirky cute animal, and they even got their own game where they were always hungry! And hen a long time after, just a few short years ago, I learned how extremely vicious they are. In fact, maybe the most dangerous animal on the planet. What a bummer, no more cute hungry hippos.

        1. R C Dean

          In fact, maybe the most dangerous animal on the planet.

          Considering they share their environment with crocodiles, this should not be a surprise.

        2. one true athena

          And everyone thinks rhinos are super vicious just because they have a horn and they’re big, and they’re actually gentle. I mean, don’t be mean to them, that’s just asking for it, but otherwise they’re placid. The keepers at San Diego Safari Park said the rhinos are some of the least aggressive of all their animals. and they let us feed them apples by hand (it was a fantastic experience, by the way. Highly recommended if you’re there)

          Then people butcher them for fingernail clippings. It infuriates me. Why must you be so stupid, humans??

    2. I have heard the ‘Lake cow bacon’ factoid three or four times in the past two days.

      How does hippo taste anyway? Does it make good bacon?

      1. Brett L

        Best bacon comes from omnivores. Pigs,bears… probably humans.

    3. B.P.

      I guess none of the backers of the Hippo Bill had their staff look into just how prolific hippos are.

      1. Or psycho dangerous?

      2. Derpetologist

        They were all in the pocket of Big Hippo.

      3. Not Adahn

        If you’re raising them for meat, prolific is good.

  23. Many people are confident that the whistleblower’s name is Eric Ciaramella. Have you noticed that one of the new guys at reason since we left is called C.J. Ciaramella? What a coincidence?

    1. CPRM

      …and CJ is one letter different than BJ…Clinton got a BJ in the Oval Office…Trump is now in the Oval Office…ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      I’ve never seen two Italians in the same room at the same time.

      1. You did, but you got KOed by the gesticulating and lost the memory.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Sounds legit.

        2. Hyperion

          I seem to remember that Bruno and Guido were in the room at the same time breaking someone’s knees.

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            You remember what? I think you saw nut thin.

      2. It’s far from the most common Italian name.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          It was a joke.

    3. Hyperion

      I work with one Italian guy. It took me like a month to figure out how to pronounce his last name.

      1. R C Dean

        Gwee – doh.

        Right?

        1. Hyperion

          No, the sur name.

  24. JaimeRoberto Delecto

    They said those curtains was hung.

  25. Derpetologist

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QEDZkj_Riw

    ***
    If we all had periods, maybe we’d be more comfortable with them.

    Thinx is underwear that absorbs your period. We’re on a mission to empower every body with innovative solutions and social change. Learn more about our campaign at https://shethinx.com/IfWeAllHadPeriods
    ***

    [anguished Zoidberg groan]

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      This is different from a diaper, in what way?

      1. Because they’ll charge more.

      2. JaimeRoberto Delecto

        It depends.

        1. Rhywun

          He said in a poised manner.

          1. MikeS

            I’ve been given every assurance that he is correct.

      3. Spudalicious

        If men can have periods, they’ll need to have an absorbent codpiece.

        1. pan fried wylie

          it’s called a CockSock, and it’s patent pending, shitlord.

          1. Papuan fashion for [CURRENT_YEAR]?

          2. Spudalicious

            Any chick bleeding out of her cock has bigger problems.

    2. If we all had periods, maybe we’d be more comfortable with them.

      That’s for those other losers who aren’t spayed like me.

    3. Tonio

      Before commercial menstrual products women created their own menstrual diapers using scraps of cloth; hence “on the rag.”

    4. Florida Man

      Nearly half of the world’s population has a period, yet we still shy away from having open conversations about them.-

      Everybody shits and we don’t walk around talking about it. It’s not shaming women, it’s keeping personal things personal.

      1. R C Dean

        Nearly half of the world’s population has a period,

        If a woman lives to age 70, she has periods for maybe half her life. So this should be more like 1/4 of the world’s population.

        1. B.P.

          My fair city has a large homeless population of late. What to do? Don’t worry, resource allocation experts have a solution… Why, there are all of these luxury apartments sitting vacant!

          https://www.westword.com/news/how-many-apartments-truly-sit-vacant-in-denver-11539948

          ““We could literally house the entire population of people experiencing homelessness in Denver alone with the vacant rate and market luxury apartments. It’s like a gut-punch every time I say it out loud,” says Cathy Alderman, director of policy and communications for the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.

          While the numbers are jarring, they require an explanation.

          “Technically, it’s true: We do not have a housing crisis; we have an allocation challenge. But that’s if you just look at the raw data,” says Elena Wilken, executive director of Housing Colorado.”

          Other tidbits in the article:

          “Alderman would like to see Denver adopt a registry for long-term rentals, a move Boulder has taken, so that it could better track the number of apartments that are truly vacant and available.”

          “But housing experts argue that the benefits of building more new housing won’t automatically trickle down to fill the greatest need. “We can’t build our way out of this,” says Wilken.

          She argues that considering the type and affordability of the housing we build is more important.

          “You can’t just build willy-nilly.””

          1. B.P.

            Goddammit, how’d that get here?

          2. Viking1865

            “But housing experts argue that the benefits of building more new housing won’t automatically trickle down to fill the greatest need. “We can’t build our way out of this,” says Wilken.

            She argues that considering the type and affordability of the housing we build is more important.

            “You can’t just build willy-nilly.””

            Fucking idiot.

            You build bright shiny awesome new housing, the rich people move in there. Then the middle class moves into the vacated rich people housing. Then the lower middle move into the middle class housing. So on and so forth. Today’s affordable blue collar housing was the brand new shiny new housing of 1990.

            An increase in supply of ANYTHING, with demand remaining constant, will lower the price. This is Econ 101 shit.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now I know you don’t have kids. Because everyone that has kids talks about poop for the first few years they have them.

        1. Florida Man

          I’m an out and proud DINK!

      3. Cannoli

        ^ THIS. Sure, periods are natural, just like feces and phlegm, and they’re just as gross and unsanitary. Stop trying to make every facet of life public.

  26. Stinky Wizzleteats

    I glanced at the Sessions article article. Please God say it ain’t so. I hope Alabamans are sufficiently disgusted with him to not vote him in again, that incompetent leprechaun looking authoritarian fuck.

    1. Chipwooder

      Never been to Alabama, huh? He’ll win in a landslide.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Hopefully Trump will throw his influence behind his competitor and torpedo his chances. I get the feeling he doesn’t like the guy or some reason.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    It’s like saying we can make orbit by spinning up a flywheel using a perpetual motion machine.

    *P Brooks, Venture Capital Super Genius, writes ten billion dollar check.*

    Where do I send this? There’s plenty more where this came from.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Thinx is underwear that absorbs your period.

    *stifles gag reflex*

    Ewwwwww.

    1. Hyperion

      Yeah, great, that’s really sexy. Are those edible?

      I still remember when the Russian chick said ‘The Stayfree Maxi pad is what you Americans say is ‘real neat’. That was back when the woke crowd weren’t dead set on grossing you out at every opportunity.

  29. Hyperion

    Wonder it they’ve patched RDR2 yet? I should probably fire it up again tonight, barely made it through the prologue.

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Nothing can save the Star Wars franchise at this point.

  30. Derpetologist

    Friday Fun Fact Frolic 2, Etymological Boogaloo

    Sharaf means honor in Arabic

    Sharif means honorable and is a boy’s name, like the actor Omar Sharif.

    Ashraf means more/most honorable and is also a boy’s name, like Ashraf Ghani, president of Afghanistan

    The head honcho of Pakistan a while back was Pervez Musharraf. Musharraf means honored.

    There’s a city in Afghanistan called Mazar-i-Sharif, which means shrine of the honorable [one]. The words are Arabic, but the grammar is Persian.

    The phrase that means “nice to meet you” is tasharrafna, which means “you honor us”.

    Shukran means thanks in Arabic.

    Shaker means thankful and is a boy’s name.

    Shakira is the female form.

    The sh sound in Arabic is one letter. It looks like a cursive w with 3 dots on top.

    And now you know….my hips don’t lie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlVwBDPvi6A

    1. R C Dean

      Pervez Musharraf. Musharraf means honored.

      Lemme guess what “Pervez” means.

      1. Derpetologist

        The series of tubes says:

        ***
        Persia. Parvēz, Pērvaz or Parvīz (Persian: پرویز‎, meaning “fortunate, victorious”; Middle Persian: plwyc‎ Parvēz, also ʾplwyc Abarvēz/Aparvēz), is a Persian male given name, mostly popular in Iran, Central Asia, South Asia and among Azeris. It is also a common surname.
        ***

      2. “Guy who wanted me to fabricate reports to make his group look better”

        Not Musharraf, but that guy annoyed me. His supervisor reported to my supervisor, but he acted as if he had authority to boss me around because he was the assistant manager of his unit.

        I didn’t oblige him, because, as I said, I don’t report to him, and I’m not going to falsify reports.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Shakira’s hips. I’ll be in my bunk.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Double your pleasure.

        https://youtu.be/o3mP3mJDL2k

  31. leon

    sorry for so much posting should be slowed down after today

    Diplomacy Update

    The Game has started. This is an update to let those who joined know that the first phase has started.

    Also I’m waiting for Tulpa to post on Glibs and give his 10 Hail Zardoz’s

    1. Biff

      Hail Zardoz! And I’m not Tulpa – You’re Tulpa!

  32. AlmightyJB

    Fun afternoon at range. Buddy brought his P229 cause he knows I want one. Damn that gun is accurate. Ran errands after. Finally at bar:)

    1. Not Adahn

      I’ll be shooting my NYS CCW qualifier tomorrow. I’m hoping for a perfect score.

      Day after is Kayaderosseras’ last action pistol match. I’m hoping to place in the top third.

      1. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Very sharp!

  33. CPRM

    The US is horrible no good place!

    The legal challenge cites the widespread detention of asylum seekers who are turned back from Canada and the separation of parents and children as other examples of why the U.S. is not a “safe” country for newly arrived immigrants.

    1. Then stop arriving.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I don’t understand why liberals aren’t on the border stopping people from coming to such a horrible place.

    2. leon

      But if they request asylum on Canadian soil at a location other than an official crossing, the process is allowed to go forward. In most cases, the refugees are released and allowed to live in Canada, taking advantage of generous social welfare benefits while their asylum applications are reviewed, a process that can take years.

      Sounds like a great system for Canadians to pay for.

    3. leon

      Afisa, who left Uganda amid government oppression and violence, said she was detained for four months after crossing into the U.S. from Mexico. She went to Canada in May through an illegal crossing in Quebec. Afisa said she has applied for asylum and is awaiting a hearing.

      “The U.S. is not safe,” she said. “No help, no shelter, nothing. You can stay outside on the street because you don’t have nothing when you’re a refugee. You come from your country because of some problem, you don’t have money,” she said, wiping away tears.

      1. Refugees are not entitled to refuge on the far side of the world from their homes.

      2. creech

        I wonder how a U.S. citizen would fare if xe turned up in Uganda and expected welfare?

      3. R C Dean

        My question:

        How the hell did she get here from Uganda?

        1. MikeS

          And how many countries did she traverse that she did not seek refugee status in?

          1. Shows determination and grit, the kind of go-getter America used to be happy to accept.

          2. MikeS

            Oh, stop.

          3. leon

            I actually typically agree. I find the reactions here funny, because these people aren’t trying to get in to the US. They are trying to escape. They are trying to get to Canada and Canada won’t let them.

          4. MikeS

            Devils advocate:

            They’re seeking asylum status. That’s a “cut to the beginning of the line” play. They don’t feel like going through the immigration process, so they do what ever they can to get to the front of the line.

            One could say they sound very entitled. The kind of hand-out seekers that America has never been happy to accept.

    4. R C Dean

      the widespread detention of asylum seekers who are turned back from Canada

      What are we supposed to do with them? Canada won’t take them, they won’t go home, presumably they don’t qualify for asylum here. I mean, lining up between a ditch and a machine gun seems a little harsh, so I guess detention it is?

      the separation of parents and children

      I swear I thought we had stopped doing that.

      I did get a chance to yank some chain here yesterday.

      Manager: Blah blah Border Patrol blah blah Guatemalan man and his son blah

      R C: Hold on a second. Do we know that was his son?

      Manager: *blank stare*

      R C: You realize DNA testing shows that a fair percentage of the children brought across the border by illegals aren’t actually their children.

      Manager: Well, I guess we have to just assume its his son.

      R C: Have you asked the Border Patrol if they have confirmed it? Because if its not actually his son, he can’t consent to medical care, so it kind of matters.

      1. leon

        Canada won’t take them, they won’t go home,

        Well Canada won’t take them because an agreement between the US and Canada that says Refugees must apply for assylum where they first entered. That is why they are suing Canada, so that they exit the agreement and allow refugees who came through the US to apply for assylum in Canada.

    5. Florida Man

      I propose a solution for our homeless problem. Free bus tickets to Canada. I mean, they’re just economic refugees fleeing America.

  34. Derpetologist

    https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/11/08/777187543/math-looks-the-same-in-the-brains-of-boys-and-girls-study-finds

    ***
    There’s new evidence that girls start out with the same math abilities as boys.

    A study of 104 children from ages 3 to 10 found similar patterns of brain activity in boys and girls as they engaged in basic math tasks, researchers reported Friday in the journal Science of Learning.

    But there is evidence of sex differences in some exceptional older students, Geary says.

    For example, boys outnumber girls by about 3 to 1 when researchers identify adolescents who achieve “very, very high-end performance in mathematics,” Geary says, adding that scientists are still trying to understand why that gap exists.
    ***

    Almost there…

    ***
    So why are fields like mathematics and computer science so dominated by men?

    Cantlon suspects the answer involves the societal messages girls and young women get, and the difficulty of entering a field that includes very few women. “You can look at ratios of women and men participating in different activities and you can get the hint,” she says.

    Yet paradoxically, females in wealthier countries with more gender equality, including the U.S., were less likely than females in other countries to get degrees in fields such as math and computer science.

    But when the researchers focused on more affluent school districts, “boys tended to do better than girls in math,” Fahle says.

    That research, along with the new study, makes a compelling case that factors other than biological differences explain why girls are less likely to pursue degrees and jobs in math and science, she says.
    ***

    Negative, impacted on the surface.

    [head desk]

    Seriously though, men dominate mathematics because it’s a young man’s game. Women in their 20s and 30s are usually concerned about marriage and children, not focused like a laser on an abstract problem.

    It is about biology in the sense that women give birth and men don’t.

    1. A study of 104 children from ages 3 to 10

      when researchers identify adolescents who achieve “very, very high-end performance in mathematics,”

      You know, there’s this thing called Puberty which makes a lot of changes to the brain. Maybe you should check to see if that has anything to do with it.

    2. creech

      Maybe Disney could figure out a way to make the Frozen princesses, Belle, Moana, unicorns, etc. etc. be math wizards instead of whatever crap they do now to inspire little girls to think they’ll all end up like Megan Markle with Prince Charming.

      1. leon

        I think you need to let it go.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          You suck.

          *searches for music to get that damn song out of head*

          1. Try Billy Joel, he’s a surprisingly good earworm killer, throw on 52 street, put the first three songs on repeat.

          2. Billy Joel? Ugh.

    3. Cannoli

      It’s also about interest. In undergraduate math programs, the ratio is about 50-50 men and women, but goes to about 80-20 for graduate programs because all the female math majors go on to become teachers instead of going for PhDs.

      1. Florida Man

        Yeah, I don’t see any researchers breaking their back to find out why nursing isn’t a 50-50 spread. It’s only a problem when it’s a male dominated field.

        1. Cannoli

          If it weren’t for double standards they wouldn’t have any.

          Veterinarians have basically the same starting salary as computer scientists and the opposite gender ratio, but you never hear about the problem of how to get men to go to vet school.

          1. Florida Man

            It’s such a non-issue. Is anyone stopping men from being vets/nurses? Is anyone stopping women from being IT/mathematicians? No? Then it doesn’t matter.

          2. Cannoli

            Oh sorry, I wasn’t saying that it’s actually a problem that men are only 20% of veterinarians, I was contrasting with how people are constantly wringing their hands over the ratio of women in computer science (which is also not a problem, but people act like it is)

          3. Florida Man

            No, I was agreeing with you. It’s my tone. I come across confrontational even when I’m on your side. I blame my redneck roots.

          4. I for one will mercilessly mock any man that becomes a nurse or a veternarian, or barista, or a teacher other than high school AP math or science.

          5. Florida Man

            As well you should. I mean, what’s the point of being a radical individualist if you can’t mock people for making their own choices and not following social norms?

            *massive eye roll*

          6. Sheesh, Florida Man, I thought social pressure was the approved of method for enforcing social norms instead of outside force.

          7. Stinky Wizzleteats

            How about shop?

          8. How about shop?

            The phrase ‘Those who cant do, teach’ was made for those losers. Take on an apprentice or three don’t babysit the stoners at PS 212

          9. Not Adahn

            Matt Carricker is a vet. And had one of the more enviable lives around.

          10. Florida Man

            @UCS

            1. I don’t believe in group wisdom

            2. I get tired of the endless mocking of personal choices that don’t effect anyone else. I know it’s mostly in jest but it gets old With the constant your choice in drink/food/music/movies/state/career/whatever sucks.

  35. AlmightyJB

    Love when the bars playing late 70’s rock and I don’t have to play the jukebox! Winning.

  36. Hyperion

    I think I’m becoming an expert beer stasher. Checked beer fridge, low… but wife and I are having dinner, watching film, I’m good. OK, I have plenty. Then… she’s not feeling well, tired, now she’s asleep. Oh well, I have games to play, but need more beer… oh shit, I’m out. But then! I just discovered secret beet stash! I’m good to roll!

    1. secret beet stash!

      1. Florida Man

        Pickled or roasted?

    2. R C Dean

      secret beet stash

      That’s just sad.

      1. I can’t help laughing at the thought of Hyp opening a fridge to find beetroots and going “Sweet!”

        1. R C Dean

          But its his secret stash. So, more like he tip-toes out to the garage, moves a box full of dirty rags out of the way, pulls down a piece of loose drywall, and . . . sweet beet victory!

      2. Hyperion

        You guys are such fuckheads, that’s why I love you guys!

        Something is wrong with my keyboard, I swear I’m not drunk!

        1. Enjoy your secret beet stash beets.

          1. Hyperion

            I’m mixing Foster’s and Negra Modelo. It’s sort of a reddish color. No beets were killed in this experiment.

          2. Nephilium

            Enjoying

            Sure you are.

          3. AlmightyJB

            I mainline my beets.

      3. Sean

        He’s Dwight Schrute?

    3. MikeS

      Beets are gross. You’re weird.

      1. Hyperion

        Yeah, I know, I hate them. And I’ll eat almost anything. Unless it’s a beet, sweet potato, or pear.

        1. MikeS

          Pears are OK. I used to think I liked sweet potatoes until sweet potato fries became a thing. Turns out I don’t like them.

          I do like candied yams paired with turkey. Soon…soon.

          1. Hyperion

            “Pears are OK.”

            Sand Apples.

          2. I feel sad for you. Pears are better than apples.

          3. MikeS

            This is demonstrably false.

          4. Stinky Wizzleteats

            A sufficiently ripe pear is one of the best things on God’s earth or anyone else’s.

          5. Rhywun

            This is demonstrably true.

            Only fruit better is pineapple.

          6. MikeS

            Perfectly ripe pineapple is the incarnation of heaven.

          7. Gender Traitor

            Pears are better than apples.

            D’Anjou or GTFO.

          8. dbleagle

            Since I moved to Hawaii I have given up on finding properly ripe pineapples on the mainland. A ripe pineapple is a joy, before that moment it is a severe disappointment,

          9. Spudalicious

            Candied yams? You sick fuck.

          10. MikeS

            The juice is delicious soaked into turkey breast meat. You’re missing out.

          11. Spudalicious

            Yeah, they were a standard at the family Thanksgiving table. Haven’t touched them in decades.

          12. MikeS

            Mom’s recipe is great…no marshmallows.

      2. Drake

        A new Polish restraunt opened up in town and I’ve become borscht fan.

        1. MikeS

          I’ve never had it, but I’m willing to give it a chance.

          My grandma made pickled beets and I thought they were disgusting. Of course, I dislike most pickled things, so there’s that.

    1. MikeS

      OMG…why is even this about race?! Fuck these people with a free ash sapling.

      1. Oh, no, I totally get it. Elite white people decide to do something in someone else’s neighborhood without asking how they feel about it. White liberal savior complex on brilliant display.

        I’d be pissed too.

        1. MikeS

          *reads furhter than one sentence in*

          Oh, OK then. Yeah, that is bullshit.

        2. Rhywun

          Fair point. I still get to roll my eyes severely at things like:

          heritage narratives

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            If you’re paid by the word, why would you use “folklore”?

        1. MikeS

          Oh, stop.

    2. Hyperion

      Didn’t yet read the article. But, here’s my thing with trees. I love trees, as long as they are not to close to my house. I mean small trees, like Japanese Maples, or other ornamental trees are OK close to your house, but otherwise, they are nothing but trouble.

      Anyway, come to MD and tell me where you can find a space to plant another tree? We have old growth forests that predate the arrival of the original colonists, all over the state.

      1. A bunch of environmentalists decided to plant a bunch of trees in the hood and the residents were saying no. The environmentalists couldn’t figure out why they didn’t want them, and it was because they don’t trust the city and they didn’t ask first.

        We just had something like that happen here. After some pressure by some obscure activist group, the KC city council decided unilaterally to name a very significant boulevard Martin Luther King Jr. They didn’t ask, didn’t take a vote, just spent the money. Nobody was happy not just because a significant piece of KC history got erased, but more that there was no community input or voting.

        They put it on Tuesday’s ballot. 69% said to change it back.

        1. Hyperion

          But… but, if you can get a Martin Luther King Blvd, then you can get free window washes that you don’t want, from homeless people who will squirt you in the eyes with Windex containing ammonia when you roll down the window to politely tell them to fuck off. Don’t roll down your window.

      2. Florida Man

        My street is lined with oak trees. Oak trees that are a huge risk of blowing over in hurricanes. But they look nice and that’s all that matters.

        1. Hyperion

          We have a White Oak in front of our house that is at least 5-6 ft in diameter and 80-100 ft tall. If that thing falls on this building, it will be completely destroyed.

          1. Florida Man

            They planted laurel oaks because they grow fast, but they don’t sink strong roots. Not ideal, but at least we’re far enough inland to mitigate most winds.

        2. Certified Public Asshat

          I am trying to get 25 Leyland Cypress trees cut down on my property. They were planted 30ish years ago, grew fast, but are now too tall and dying. One already fell over during a storm last fall.

          I got a decent price ($5k) to cut them down and grind the stumps, but this guy still hasn’t set up a time to do it. Might be too good to be true ?

      3. Raze Baltimore to the ground and replace it with a forest?

        1. Hyperion

          It sounds like a sound plan to me. I mean, you might want to save the parts of the city (15-20%) worth saving, if you can get rid of the current city government as well. Otherwise, nuke it from space.

      4. Oh, and I’ll say this, too. If someone came through wanting to plant sweet gum trees anywhere near my property, I’d take after them with buckshot.

        1. Hyperion

          But they so pretty in the fall. We have a couple right across the street. I’ll raise you one Cottonwood and a few Chestnut trees, right against your house. I mean I get the reason that people used to plant trees like that right against their house. Because of the shade, because there was no AC. But unless Greta and the Luddites get their way, cut that shit for firewood!

          1. Spudalicious

            We have a willow tree that has a trunk that’s about 5′ in diameter. Fortunately, it’s 100′ from the house.

          2. Hyperion

            That’s sort of my rule. 100′ from the house, OK. Otherwise, you a dwarf ornamental tree.

          3. Spudalicious

            We’ve got some maples out front that could hit the house, but they tend to break off, as opposed to fall down.

        2. B.P.

          My neighbor has three catalpa trees right up against the property line. They’re a goddamned mess.

          1. Hyperion

            I had 3 of them right on my property line on the house I just sold recently. Those were Northern Catalpa though, I think the southern ones are a lot smaller.

        3. Gender Traitor

          Sweet gum seed pods (AKA mini-maces) are not biodegradable. They will survive the SMOD.

          1. Hyperion

            Wait until you get some Chestnut spiked seed balls on your deck when you walk out there in the morning barefoot. The only thing I can think of worse, is Honey Locust thorns.

          2. You step outside your house without proper foot protection?

          3. Hyperion

            On my deck? Yeah, I’m supposed to be able to do that, this is 2019!

  37. Spudalicious

    It’s Friday, a big pt of chili just went into the oven to braise, and there’s a Moscow Mule at my left hand. Let the weekend begin.

    1. Starting so late in the day?

      1. Brett L

        He’s on Hawaii time

      2. Spudalicious

        It was 4:30 in Manly Time when I posted that. I try and keep my day drinking to the weekends.

        1. Like you have time to get chili finished when you start at 4:30 in the afternoon.

          1. Spudalicious

            No, the chili went in the oven at 4. Braise for two hours at 300* and it will be perfect. And even better tomorrow.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Slamming mules again I see.

      1. MikeS

        He’s such an ass

        1. Spudalicious

          At least I don’t eat candied yams.

  38. *sigh*

    So Dug is standing in the garden courtyard of the imperial palace for the ‘informal’ stage of the courtly day. His local fling has walked off in annoyance at a mistake he made a few chapters back. His main contact at court is occupied with other business. And I have half a scene left before I can just go jump to a new one. What trouble should Dug get it?

    1. Florida Man

      He gets caught playing pocket pool, because his love interest walked off and left him with unfulfilled needs.

    2. MikeS

      Pick a flower from the Imperial Garden and piss off the Imperial Gardener…and maybe the King, depending on how far you want to go with it?

    3. Derpetologist

      He should be forced to commit ritual suicide. His loyal followers embark on 20-year process of revenge. They kill the one who wronged their master and then commit mass suicide to protest the insult and demonstrate loyalty.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty-seven_r%C5%8Dnin

      1. That doesn’t work, he has to make it home to print the first book.

        1. Derpetologist

          OK, have him win a huge sum at a local gambling house, and as he is running off with the money away from enraged townsfolk, he runs into the fling by accident and she helps him.

          1. Well, most of his gambling has been at the amphitheater. Which reminds me, I have to have at least one exciting fight there, otherwise I wasted a lot of set-up.

          2. Derpetologist

            That’s it! Have him bet it all on a despised underdog, and then when the underdog wins, he has to run for his life.

            Better yet – have the despised underdog be his fling in disguise.

          3. Gender Traitor

            Local Fling’s brothers show up in bad moods?

          4. Local fling only has one surviving brother, who’s a teenage twerp Dug could beat up.

            And he’s already shown up in a bad mood… okay, an emo mood.

    4. Have him try and buy a bespoke codpiece…or piece of cod.

    5. one true athena

      An anarchist climbs over the wall and tries to sneak close to the palace to set it on fire.

      1. The assassination attempt is later in the plot. I need to maintain variety.

    6. Not Adahn

      A man kicks down the garden gate and shoots a crossbow at him.

    7. Sean

      He’s found wearing a MAGA hat by an Antifa mob.

      1. Given the number of people Dug has bested in melee combat, those fascists wouldn’t last long.

        1. Sean

          It’s been a long week at work and I’m easing myself into a deep glass of rye. I’m out of helpful suggestions.

          1. That’s okay. just talking with people about a situation gets my brain working, even if all I get is snark.

          2. MikeS

            For the record, I was being serious.

          3. I know. But there have been other times when no one was.

            I didn’t have a response yet to your suggestion.

          4. Sean

            So says the gay dromedary turkey…

          5. MikeS

            I didn’t have a response yet to your suggestion.

            I know…it was quite good.

            So says the gay dromedary turkey…

            Is it the feathers or the hat that makes him gay?

          6. Sean

            The feathers. The hat is quite jaunty.

  39. B.P.

    My fair city has a large homeless population of late. What to do? Don’t worry, resource allocation experts have a solution… Why, there are all of these luxury apartments sitting vacant!

    https://www.westword.com/news/how-many-apartments-truly-sit-vacant-in-denver-11539948

    ““We could literally house the entire population of people experiencing homelessness in Denver alone with the vacant rate and market luxury apartments. It’s like a gut-punch every time I say it out loud,” says Cathy Alderman, director of policy and communications for the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.

    While the numbers are jarring, they require an explanation.

    “Technically, it’s true: We do not have a housing crisis; we have an allocation challenge. But that’s if you just look at the raw data,” says Elena Wilken, executive director of Housing Colorado.”

    Other tidbits in the article:

    “Alderman would like to see Denver adopt a registry for long-term rentals, a move Boulder has taken, so that it could better track the number of apartments that are truly vacant and available.”

    “But housing experts argue that the benefits of building more new housing won’t automatically trickle down to fill the greatest need. “We can’t build our way out of this,” says Wilken.

    She argues that considering the type and affordability of the housing we build is more important.

    “You can’t just build willy-nilly.””

    1. Hyperion

      Nothing can possibly go wrong. As soon as we can tax you at 70% of your income, utopia will arrive.

    2. Rhywun

      We can’t build our way out of this

      JFC the stupidity hurts.

      1. Florida Man

        We can’t build our way out of a housing crisis, but we CAN build our way out of global warming.
        /dummies

    3. leon

      ““We can’t build our way out of this,” says Wilken.”

      He asserted without evidence.

      1. To be fair, any group that includes Wilken will be prevented from building their way out of this. Get rid of Wilken’s ilk and the path is clear again.

      2. Rhywun

        They say this because they look around them and see that only super-duper luxe housing gets built any more and are too stupid to connect the dots to see why that is.

  40. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Looks like ABC went after the wrong person and the leaker is still working there, if you take this at face value that is:

    https://www.projectveritas.com/2019/11/08/abc-insider-why-i-alone-released-the-amy-robach-epstein-tape/

  41. Derpetologist

    Friday Fun Fact Folic 3: The Fact and the Furious

    Before he was famous, Johnny Cash was a USAF Morse code interceptor in Germany.

    ***
    Cash enlisted in the United States Air Force on July 7, 1950.[34] After basic training at Lackland Air Force Base and technical training at Brooks Air Force Base, both in San Antonio, Texas, Cash was assigned to the 12th Radio Squadron Mobile of the U.S. Air Force Security Service at Landsberg, Germany. He worked as a Morse code operator intercepting Soviet Army transmissions.[35] While at Landsberg he created his first band, “The Landsberg Barbarians”.[36] On July 3, 1954, he was honorably discharged as a staff sergeant, and he returned to Texas.[37] During his military service, he acquired a distinctive scar on the right side of his jaw as a result of surgery to remove a cyst.[38][39]
    ***

    Tom Lehrer (of “National Brotherhood Week”) was a mathematician in the Army.

    ***
    He was drafted into the U.S. Army from 1955 to 1957, working at the NSA. (Lehrer has stated that he invented the Jell-O shot during this time, as a means of circumventing the base’s ban on alcoholic beverages.)[13] These experiences became fodder for songs, e.g., “The Wild West Is Where I Want to Be” and “It Makes a Fellow Proud to Be a Soldier”.[14] It was many years before Lehrer publicly revealed that he had been assigned to the NSA, since the mere fact of its existence was classified at the time; this left him in the interesting position of implicitly using nuclear weapons work as a cover story for something more sensitive.

    Despite holding a master’s degree in an era when American conscripts often lacked a high school diploma, Lehrer served as an enlisted soldier, achieving the rank of Specialist Third Class (later retitled “Specialist-4” and currently “Specialist”), which he described as being a “corporal without portfolio”.
    ***

  42. Gender Traitor

    Wiping out last weekend’s cheap Aussie Chardonnay, something called Fish Eye – “a turgid little concoction particularly suited to those keen on regurgitation.”

    1. They labelled them that way, and you still drank it?

      1. Gender Traitor

        The price was right and I didn’t have to bother with that pesky corkscrew. Fine motor skills are the first to go.

    2. Hyperion

      That doesn’t sound good. My advice, drink beer.

    3. Florida Man

      To paraphrase animal, life is too short to drink bad wine.

      1. Gender Traitor

        It’s tolerable. The description is my best recollection of something from a Monty Python sketch about Australian tables wines that I can’t find on the Intarwebz. I just grabbed this wine while I was at Creauxjais last Friday. Tomorrow I’ll get something better – ideally, something local – from the wine store on the way back from the BMV, where I have to renew my plates AND renew my driver’s license.

        1. Florida Man

          It’s tolerable.-

          My life in a nutshell…

          1. Gender Traitor

            Tolerable but cramped?

          2. Florida Man

            Empty

    4. Derpetologist

      No, no, no. Those keen on regurgitation should drink Camo Black. Beer Advocate says:

      ***
      Smells like artificial grape flavoring, energy drink, and Flintstones vitamins.
      ***

      The day after drinking Camo Black, artist’s depiction:

      https://content.ngv.vic.gov.au/col-images/api/Fd101810/1280

      1. Hyperion

        Well, that’s not beer, obviously, that’s wine.

    5. Hey GT, did you have any luck finishing the acrostic? In hindsight I think I should have made three or four more clues absolute gimmes to give solvers a starting point. I didn’t figure it would get as much action as the crosswords so I didn’t put as much thought into solvability as I should have.

      1. Gender Traitor

        Yes! Yes, I did!!! I announced it in last night’s evening post. Got my printer up & running, printed it out, and got it done without cheating! Thanks so much for doing this! Printing it out on letter size paper/portrait orientation, I had a bit of trouble making out the number & letter codes without magnification – next time I’ll resize it to print on two pages, landscape orientation so the grid – and the codes – are a bit larger. Had a blast solving it.

        1. Gender Traitor

          BTW – serious about the offer to beta test future acrostics. If you do another and would like to use me as a guinea pig, e me at linniered[at]woh.rr.com.

        2. Gender Traitor

          Also BTW, loved the Kurosawa clue!

          1. Thanks for the response, I may do another, as I said they are easier in a way than the crosswords, glad you liked the Kurosawa clue I was kind proud of that one to be honest.

      2. MikeS

        Did the crossword that I beta tested post yet?

        1. All of the ones I’ve completed have been posted, I think the one you beta’d was the second or so. you ‘member the theme?

          1. MikeS

            Super Troll

          2. Thanks, but seriously do you remember the theme of the puzzle you beta’d?

          3. Kidding aside Here it is, not a Rick Roll swear to god.

          4. commodious spittoon

            RICK-RICK-RICKETY ROLLED

          5. MikeS

            Jeebus. I even commented on it. My memory is so shit. Especially when soaked in alcohol.

    1. Gender Traitor

      Nice kitteh!

      1. commodious spittoon

        tfr*

        *these fucking russians…

  43. Sean

    Was watching some Simpson’s tonight. This was the opening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZu5iDTtNg0

    Awesome.

    1. Gender Traitor

      How long ya reckon ’til Bart’s chalkboard punishment is “Epstein didn’t kill himself”?

      1. Sean

        I don’t think they have the testicular fortitude for that.

      2. Groenig is among those accused of flying the Lolita Express. I don’t think they’ll bring it up.

        1. Who hasn’t been accused of that?