Friday Afternoon Links

Welcome to Friday! I’ve been engaged in some desultory cleanup of both my office and my work — trying to get things ready for the new year. Hopefully, we can get out and do something family friendly this weekend. The kids are pretty much nuts after a week off. Next week we send them off to daycare again. My wife will be standing at the door, grinning wildly when we do, I’m sure.

Damn, why can’t you Minnesotans bring your Minnesota Nice to Disney?

Beechcraft manufacturing plant experiences uncontrolled depressurization event after nitrogen line rupture. At least there was no fire afterwards.

I’m a sucker for a good rocket launch picture.

Huh, its weird that we are friends with our neighbors. Note, having kids of a similar age is probably the number one way neighbors make friends. Although, picking up after a hurricane certainly helped.

 

 

Comments

296 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. We’ve had the same neighbors for over 30 years, and I think there are two other houses on our road that have had the same people living in them for at least the past 30 years.

    1. So perhaps it’s time to consider striking up a friendship with them?

      No, of course not, 30 years isn’t long enough. I’m sure they appreciate their privacy.

      1. LOL.

        The wife actually said once she likes my dad’s humor. That’s some friend.

  2. Bob the Builder

    I’m on the Train…..

    1. Bob the Builder

      I am the Train….

      1. Not Adahn

        As long as you’re not pulling it.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          A swinger who goes both ways. Whatever floats your boat.

          1. Bob the Builder

            No love for the Blue Boy? Classic episode

          2. Yes, I knew exactly what you were quoting. Totally love that one.

            Even better line is later in the episode where Friday drags Blue Boy’s parents in and tells them their son was using LSD, which at that time wasn’t yet illegal. His father says “Well at least he’s not using heroin — or marijuana!!”

          1. Tundra

            Totally out of line.

          2. Grumbletarian
          3. BakedPenguin

            C. Anacreon, I agree with that sentiment.

          4. Trainy days and Mondays always get me down….

          5. westernsloper

            ?

  3. Drake

    I’m friends with quite a few people on our street. The newest neighbors not so much.

    1. leon

      The military has struggled in recent years rooting out personnel with membership in white supremacist organizations or who have expressed sympathy for white power causes. In 2017, the Military Times polled active-duty troops and found nearly one in four had seen signs of white nationalism among their fellow service members. Among non-white troops, the percentage was much higher with 42% saying they had personally experienced examples of white nationalism on the job.

      Interesting.

      1. “Hey, Sarge; I saw Herbert doing some white nationalism out behind the barracks.”

      2. Gustave Lytton

        42% saying they had personally experienced examples of white nationalism on the job

        Rolling eyes at shaving profile?

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        What constitutes an example of white nationalism in these people’s minds I wonder.

        1. Rhywun

          ??

      4. Count Potato

        I get the feeling their definition of “white nationalism” is bullshit. I mean after you put aside their job description is to kill people and destroy things for a nation run by white people.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Obama was only half-white. Trump isn’t white at all.

          1. grrizzly

            Trump’s mother is Scottish: he is half-white.
            /Benjamin Franklin

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            As someone who is 1/4 Scottish himself, I was riffing on the same sentiment.

          3. leon

            Wait… But how does this get measured. I mean my Fathers Line is sottish, and My Mothers Paternal Line is also Scottish.

            But i think we might have some Irish in there too, so where does that land me…

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            If you’re asking Ben Franklin, the important thing is that you’re not a “swarthy German”.

          5. It’s a good thing then that I’m Bavarian and not German.

          6. westernsloper

            LOL

          7. Count Potato

            LOL

          8. Heroic Mulatto

            There is a serious truth behind that routine that helps explain Blexit. Authenticity (aka “Keeping it real”) is a very important value in African-American culture. Directness in speech and manners is respected, even if one doesn’t agree with the message. I was reading Trump’s letter to Pelosi or his speech to the Jewish-American group where many of them were his peers in real estate and thinking “That’s exactly why they like him! He’s keepin’ it real!” I don’t think Trump does this to specifically appeal to African-Americans as much as it’s a side effect of picking up chutzpah (a similar value) from his Jewish acquaintances in NYC.

          9. Rhywun

            I find that attitude pretty common across New Yorkers. More so than in small towns, at least.

          10. westernsloper

            “Keeping it Real”

            That overlaps plenty of cultures I imagine.

          11. cyto

            I had never seen that clip.

            The Apollo theater in stitches over a “Trump is a gangsta N*” routine. Makes one wonder….. what happens at the ballot box with record low black unemployment.

            I guarantee that dude ain’t tryin’ that routine in front of an upper-crust proggie white crowd. They’d boo that off the stage. Not only arguably pro-Trump, but filled with racist stereotypes.

            Interesting times.

          12. westernsloper

            *Snort

            Totally stealing that.

            Trump is a white nationalist!
            WTF? He aint even white!

          13. cyto

            Tangerine N*

            Genius

    2. leon

      I’ll say, i don’t think anyone has a “Right” to serve in the military.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        I don’t think you have full freedom of association either. I don’t believe you can form a union in the military. I highly doubt that you could be a card-carrying member of the Communist Party in our military, etc. etc..

        1. leon

          Yeah, you can’t be a member of any group that has advocated for the violent overthrow of the united states government.

          Go Figure.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Not sure about being a commie. Might be a ban on generic political groups dedicated to the violent overthrow of the USG. Commie Cadet wasn’t sent packing until after he was commissioned.

          1. leon

            Yeah, IIRC there is a general Anti-Sedition affirmation. You can’t belong or have belonged to a group that would meet the “Advocated the violent overthrow of the USG”.

            Does the Gov keep a list of those groups though? I mean what if you joined one, but didn’t know that they were seditious.

          2. westernsloper

            This guy?

            Did he get the boot? I never heard.

          3. dbleagle

            He was booted and the DoD is going after the cost of his four years at West Point.

          4. westernsloper

            No shit? Huh.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      “ The Day of Judgement will not come about until Muslims fight the Jews, when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Muslims, O Abdullah, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, (the Boxthorn tree) would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews. (related by al-Bukhari and Muslim).”

      And yet the people who believe this are allowed, as they should be.

      1. Drake

        It would be wrong to root out radical Muslims.

        1. Count Potato

          What about a bunch of hippies who believe in talking trees?

          1. Drake

            They’ll get you a Wiccan Chaplain pronto.

          2. Hey now, Clint Eastwood talked to trees, and he wasn’t any dirty hippy.

          3. Stinky Wizzleteats

            I love that movie but mostly for drunken Lee Marvin.

          4. cyto

            That really should have been the bit from Cannonball Run with Farrah Fawcet explaining why she likes trees.

  4. Jarflax

    “As a result, he was trespassed from all of Walt Disney World property, to exclude the Saratoga Springs resort,”

    Can we please start literacy testing for police?

    1. Not Adahn

      Buh?

    2. Chafed

      That would be nice.

  5. leon

    Huh, its weird that we are friends with our neighbors. Note, having kids of a similar age is probably the number one way neighbors make friends. Although, picking up after a hurricane certainly helped.

    The Woman next door is a bit of a flower child, but she’s sweet and nice to our little girls, we’ll exchange desserts and treats.
    The Family on the other side keeps to themselves.
    The Family to the rear are a bunch of dicks who throw parties with their extended family who don’t know how to shutup when it’s 2am. These happen at least twice a week from May through September. I’d call the cops, but his neighbor is the City Council Chairman and I know he’s always doing that already.

    1. Lackadaisical

      Jokes on you city council chairman is doing lines of coke at those parties.

  6. A space shuttle launch video, since you like that sort of thing:

    https://youtu.be/Efbrhiqnqf4

    1. leon

      Jump to 1:28.

      Clearly the space shuttle was designed by the patriarchy.

      1. *stifles laughter*

  7. Count Potato

    “The woman inside the Mickey Mouse costume went to the hospital with neck injuries caused by a grandmother patting the character’s head”

    Grandma needs to lay off the angel dust.

    1. Why am I laughing at this?

    2. Count Potato

      “Donald Duck agreed, but the situation escalated as the 18-year-old employee playing the character said the woman began touching and grabbing the character’s arms, chest, belly, and face. The employee moved toward another Disney employee for help, but the woman followed her, holding on, and then “frantically” put her hands inside the character’s costume, touching her chest, the incident report said.

      The woman’s family shouted for her to stop and the attendant led the employee to the break room.

      The employee later decided not to press charges, telling authorities she believed the woman, who wasn’t identified in the report, may have dementia.”

      That’s his fault for never wearing pants.

      1. BakedPenguin

        That’s his fault for never wearing pants

        Hmmm…

    3. BakedPenguin

      Oh, that’s your answer to everything wrong with her. Lots of seniors are involved in machete attacks.

      1. ZARDOZ

        ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONE. GO ON… ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

        1. BakedPenguin

          Just saying that if we gave more seniors PCP and access to machetes, Social Security costs and Medicare costs would fall dramatically…in the long run.

          1. cyto

            I think Grandma was just a furry with impulse control issues.

  8. westernsloper

    Now, a new survey of 2,000 British adults shows the staggering extent to which the concept of a neighborhood community has fallen by the wayside. In all, 75% say they consider their neighbors mere acquaintances at best.

    They’re British and nobody likes the British. Not even other British.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re all a bloody bunch of plonkers if you arsk me.

    2. Larry Joe

      For the frequent accusations Europe makes about Americans being too individualistic, seems like they may need to pop on over for a beer or a cup of sugar. I wonder how the rest of Europe fairs.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Isn’t that how Hitler started with Austria?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Keeping Up Appareances turns 30 next year.

      RIP Clive Swift.

  9. Tundra

    The woman inside the Mickey Mouse costume went to the hospital with neck injuries caused by a grandmother patting the character’s head,…

    Uh huh. Was grandma a pro wrestler?

    Damn, why can’t you Minnesotans bring your Minnesota Nice to Disney?

    Uh, hello? Groping is Minnesota Nice! Just ask Keillor and Stuart Smalley.

    1. Sean

      Groping is Minnesota Nice!

      Huh. Good to know.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Does that mean we can’t condemn their groping, it’s just part of their culture, right?

    2. blackjack

      Happiest ending on earth!

    3. I thought there was no nice in Minnesoda.

      1. MikeS

        Yeah, it’s actually Minnesota ice. Common mistake.

        1. Tundra

          *flattens Mike with a massive check, skates away*

          1. Not Adahn

            Oh is that why he wanted one in “Happy Gilmore. “

          2. BakedPenguin

            That was uncalled for.

          3. Tundra

            Perfect!

          4. Tundra

            Excellent. The kid digging the puck out of the snowbank brought back memories!

      2. Tundra

        Just Fourscore.

  10. Chafed

    I heard about this study on the news this morning. The methodology seems as scientifically sound as phrenology.

    https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2019/12/27/this-is-dangerous-nonsense-reuters-nbc-news-pimping-study-of-transgender-children-as-young-as-three-years-old/

    1. Count Potato

      “Transgender children may start to identify with toys and clothes typical of their gender identity from a very young age, a recent study suggests.”

      Fine, then let them. That’s no reason for any sort of medical intervention.

    2. leon

      Transgender children may start to identify with toys and clothes typical of their gender identity from a very young age, a recent study suggests.

      :eyeroll:

      So now if Joe likes to play with barbies, it totaly means he wants to be a girl?

      Here’s my big issue with mainstream transgenderism. It has taken a space for people who are genuinely troubled, or genuinely suffering from dysmorphia and given a bunch of spotlight to people who are better characterized as narcissists with odd personality quirks. Let’s let people be strange, but not say that means they need to undergo some medical mutilation to be who they are.

      Essentially, all the rhetoric i hear is “I feel like doing femenine things” therefore i must be a woman,” or even worse “I feel like being a freak, that makes me a gender fluid person and if you don’t call me the right things you are an asshole”. So it is just rebellious teenagerism writ large.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        So now if Joe likes to play with barbies, it totaly means he wants to be a girl?

        Or has an older sister who want him to play with her.

        1. Plinker762

          I’ve seen those um documentaries

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      From the abstract:

      Our findings suggest that early sex assignment and parental rearing based on that sex assignment do not always define how a child identifies or expresses gender later.

      That could go both ways on the issue.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If children seem to prefer toys and clothes associated with the opposite sex they’re trans, it is known. Thank God this bullshit wasn’t going on back when my three year old self and my cousin got into mee ma’s makeup closet.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        my three year old self and my cousin got into mee ma’s makeup closet

        You know which pic is appropriate here.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Ditto.

        The younger the kids, the less they give a shit about which toys they play with.

      3. Lackadaisical

        I always looked playing with my sister’s barbies. Strangely, their clothes kept falling off. I must be trans.

        1. MikeS

          I used to go to my friends place to play with our GI Joe dolls action figures. Those rogues would always find themselves over at Barbie’s house at some point.

          1. MikeS

            *his sister’s Barbie house…

    5. grrizzly

      It’s appalling that some children as young as three years old are abused by their parents in this manner. That’s my only take from the study.

    6. Rhywun

      One limitation of the study is that all the transgender kids lived in families that affirmed their current gender identity, the study team notes.

      “Affirmed”. Science!

  11. Count Potato

    The little mermaid?

    Would.

    1. While your family stands around feebly trying to stop you and explaining you have dementia?

      Also; Dude. She’s, like 15 years old.

      1. leon

        I like the original version where she dies. It’s a lesson that girls shouldn’t go chasing after boys who their dad told them were no good.

        1. leon

          /Father of 3 daughters

    2. ZARDOZ

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS FETISH DRIVEN CHOSEN ONE. SOMEONE APPEARS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

      1. Isn’t everybody driven by a fetish?

    3. gbob

      Liking mermaids is only one step away from liking fish sticks.

    1. Tundra

      Does she store stuff in those saddlebags?

      1. BakedPenguin

        Dont’ know. But I volunteer to check it out.

  12. Count Potato

    “Trump ignores criticism for outing impeachment whistleblower and doubles down with claim that OBAMA asked Ukraine to investigate Paul Manafort”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7830259/Donald-Trump-retweets-claim-Barack-Obama-asked-Ukraine-investigate-Paul-Manafort.html

    1. leon

      I’ve never heard the claim that Obama asked the ukranians to investigate Paul Manafort. But I have heard that they did it as part of an effort to help the DNC/Hillary.

      These use to be known facts, until it became really uncomfortable. Now they are conspiracy theories.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How can you out someone who’s already known? He named him but that’s about it which is not the same thing.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Whistleblower my ass.

      If this wasn’t ran by the deep state, they would have Scooter Libby’d Cinderella’s ass by now

    4. Rhywun

      So the Daily Mail is running DNC press releases too now?

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Easier than writing your own copy.

      2. Count Potato

        They just go with whatever version has the most drama.

        1. Not the one with the biggest tits?

          1. Count Potato

            That’s the Sun.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    A three inch nitrogen line?

    WTF?

    1. Tundra

      I’m curious how it was ruptured. I’ve seen forklift dudes wreak havoc many times.

    2. cyto

      That was exactly my thought…. what in the world could that be for?

      My first thought was inert gas for welding machines…. but 3 inches thick of high pressure nitrogen? Holy crap!

      1. Not Adahn

        Clean nitrogen is extremely useful for keeping other stuff clean. I have no idea how big the laterals are here, all of my tools just have 1/4″ lines running to them, but I’m just one guy.

      2. pistoffnick

        I know we use nitrogen to fill airplane tires. It is also used as a shielding gas for titanium and magnesium cutting operations. Magnesium does cool extremely hot things when it gets hot and has an oxygen source.

        But 3″ lines? No clue.

        I used to live less than a mile from the Beech plant.

  14. libertarianjoe

    On facebook today i’ve seen multiple people posting Bernie’s tweet about how teachers are very important.

    “Teachers are doing some of the most important work in the entire country. They should not be scraping by and taking two or three jobs. They should be paid at least $60,000 a year.”

    So I did a quick 3 second google search. You want to know what the average teacher salary is in the USA? $60,483

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      At least…

      1. Also, with the whole summer off, several all-school vacations, and now most are allowed to take additional vacations during the school year (which is why substitute teachers are never hurting for assignments).

        Add about 40% of the salary on top as benefits, too, and thus compared to someone working for themselves, teachers are making on average about $100K/year for 9 months work.

        1. leon

          Plus Taxpayer guaranteed pensions/Retirement accounts

          1. libertarianjoe

            Plus taxpayer-funded student loan forgiveness

          2. Dr. Fronkensteen

            That’s what’s killing IL. Aging society fewer workers to support these pensions over time.

          3. Rhywun

            It’s going to kill every state and local government in the next couple decades. At least, until that trillion-dollar coin comes out.

    2. leon

      Achievement Unlocked!

      But that is the Average.

      He wants every teacher to be making 60k. Cause they “deserve” it. Which is a funny way to think about things. We need to pay teachers some arbitrary amount because they “deserve” it, because we can A) measure peoples moral desserts, and B) quantify how much that should be worth.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        we can A) measure peoples moral desserts, and B) quantify how much that should be worth.

        Progressivism summed up in two axioms.

        1. BakedPenguin

          I don’t know, HM. Thinking about public school teachers who put in minimal effort, yet still demand their union extort ever more taxpayer money- even from those without children- I think I could get to an answer on A & B.

          Apologies for the run-on sentence.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I never said the axioms were sound and/or valid.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Shouldn’t the worth be to each according to their need?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      That’s 60k at best 75FTE.

      1. And yet every new strike or school bond vote comes with “teachers are forced to pay for school supplies out of their own pockets!”

        If this was really a thing, why don’t they demand during that strike for a supplies fund for each teacher for each year? It would be nothing for a school district to authorize, say, a reimbursable fund of up to $500 per teacher per year for supplies, especially compared to giving a 5% across-the-board raise.

        But of course, the teachers would rather take the raise, and continue to bitch that they have to pay for their own construction paper and Elmer’s Glue, it’s their favorite voter heartstring to tug.

        1. libertarianjoe

          I need a $3,000 raise because i have to pay $600 per year out of pocket for school supplies. Won’t someone think of the children!?

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Funny. In most union workplaces, providing tools and material for the employer’s benefit would earn you a beat down in the parking lot.

    4. pan fried wylie

      Everyone haggling over the salary, no objections to “Teachers are doing some of the most important work in the entire country”?

      Not even top 20. 50.

      1. BakedPenguin

        They are doing the work. They’re just (mostly) not doing it well.

  15. Raven Nation

    Survey question: which movie is the most violent/has the highest body count – Kill Bill Vol. 2 or John Wick 3?

    Note: this is an informal, unscientific survey. Results may be used by the federal Department of Education to set policy.

    1. I think Fail-Safe has a higher body count.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger

        By Ted’s standard. Dr. Strangelove

        1. dbleagle

          “Gettysburg” has a pretty outstanding body count, but not up to the first Star Wars movie.

        2. The Last American Hero

          Lundgren’s Punisher.

      2. Drake

        I thought Red Dawn set the record? Or do they only count people, not commies?

        1. Spudalicious

          I would say the Matrix. Whole crops were lost.

    2. Bob the Builder

      Terminator, that’s how it’s done

      1. Plinker762

        +4 billion

    3. LJW

      You’re all wrong. The answer is here :https://youtu.be/9aqopEQr7wI

    4. Not Adahn

      It was one of the Robocops at the time, I don’t know if it’s been surpassed.

    5. gbob

      Invasion USA has to rank up there.

      Then again, if you count movies with wars in them, Saving Private Ryan, LOTR, and Glory have a pretty big count.

    6. LJW

      John Wick 3 is 164.

      Kill Bill Vol 2 is 13

        1. The Outlaw Josey Wales at a respectable 44th, nice.

      1. Those numbers are wrong.

        Orcs aren’t people.

        1. Gender Traitor

          …but they do have bodies.

        2. Not Adahn

          #orclivesmatter

    7. westernsloper

      World War Z

    8. Raven Nation

      So, this survey is kind of a parallel to being a libertarian. Two options generated 12 answers.

      1. He said “most”, not “more”.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        +1 cat herder

    9. cyto

      You are all wrong…. The correct answer is “dang, I’m kinda sorry I sat through John Wick 3.”

      Also acceptable: “I really liked John Wick and the sequel. I wonder if they are ever going to make a John Wick 3?” or the shorter variant: “There is no John Wick 3”

      1. Trigger Hippie
      2. Raven Nation

        My wife started watching it with me and after 30 minutes looked at me and said “I’m still waiting for a plot.”

        We switched to Die Hard.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    You want to know what the average teacher salary is in the USA? $60,483

    In California, teachers’ aides probably make more than that.

    1. LJW

      Yet they complain about money more than any profession.

  17. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

    Re-post from the dead thread:

    Hoping Heroic Mulatto will weigh in on this (though if anyone else has any good ideas, please feel free to chime in):

    Are there any good introductory texts to the study of linguistics? The usual searches lead to a plethora of choices, all equally baffling to moi — I’m hoping someone out there’s already test-driven some and can point me in the right direction. Don’t mind spending the money if it’s a good read for a (hopefully intelligent/motivated) newbie.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      I’m teaching an intro class (for non-Ling majors) in two weeks.

      This is the text I use: Linguistics for Everyone.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Was expecting something from David Depierre in the link.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          You have to know the theoretical basics before you study the applied techniques.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            That’s more like it.

      2. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

        HM: Are you reasonably happy with it as a text?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I like that it provides a quick introduction to basic concepts in all 5 sub-disciplines of theoretical linguistics (phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, and semantics). However, note that each discipline is also worth a semester’s study in and of itself. The book does assume that you’re probably going to be a language teacher, so there is a lot of fluff about linguistics in educational settings.

          Once you get the basics down, I would locate Ladefoged’s text on phonetics, as it is the text on the subject as well as Campbell’s book on historical linguistics. The Understanding Language series is also a good next step.

          1. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

            “Exxxxxxxcellent, Smithers!”  ;-)

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Nothing like a nice hot tongue and pastrami sandwich on Jewish rye with deli mustard, a half-sour pickle, and a Dr. Ray’s Cel-Ray soda!

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          I’m more of a BJ and steak kind of guy.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Had no idea there was such a thing as celery soda. I’m reminded of the Steve Martin Okra Cola skit.

      1. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

        Thanks, d00d.

      2. creech

        Geez, man, first “Nothing like a nice hot tongue” followed by recommendation by a cunning linguist. Getting ready for a rowdy New Years Eve are we?

  18. Count Potato

    “Those close to the president say he has no one close to him.”

    https://twitter.com/HuffPostPol/status/1209860689558421504

    1. Tundra

      LOL

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s an impressive fuckup.

      1. Tundra

        The writer still doesn’t understand what xe did wrong.

    3. Rhywun

      *snort*

    4. gbob

      And to think that people predicted we could hit Peak Stupidity. Turns out, it’s a bigger resource than we ever thought.

      1. Count Potato

        It’s like a zen koan of retarded.

    5. Dr. Fronkensteen

      A new entry to Zeno’s paradoxes?

  19. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Flu shot kicking in. Early bedtime tonight.

    1. LJW

      Just now getting it? Guess it’s never too late. Well it is it you have the flu…

      1. LJW

        *if you have the flu

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Flying to Vegas for a convention in a month, otherwise I wouldn’t

  20. Count Potato

    “Fun New Teen Vogue Quiz Helps Girls Find Out What Kind Of Hooker They Should Be”

    https://babylonbee.com/news/teen-vogue-publishes-controversial-what-kind-of-hooker-are-you-quiz

    1. LJW

      Aww was hoping the Bee would have an actual survey.

      1. Not Adahn

        If Teen Vogue had any sense of humor, they’d write that quiz.

    2. hayeksplosives

      That is freaking hilarious.

      If you’ve ever had the misfortune of reading that rag, you’d know that is awfully close to the truth.

      1. cyto

        Close enough that my initial reaction to the headline wasn’t “that must be a Bee parody”

        1. Tejicano

          #metoo

    3. westernsloper

      MLW go to work for the Bee?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Their writers are Glib material for sure.

        1. MikeS

          And with our Family Friendly™ rating, I can’t believe they aren’t yet.

  21. gbob

    So I was browsing through the stupidity of the plans for New York State in the coming year. Why? Because I enjoy going into the weekend as an angry drunk.

    Anyways, one thing that was actually good…and it pains me to say that….is getting rid of bail for non violent offenses.

    So, I’ll choke down the rage long enough to say “that wasn’t too bad, brother of Fredo.”

    1. Not Adahn

      Refusing to be vaccinated and putting up “it’s ok to be white” fliers are violent crimes, of course.

  22. hayeksplosives

    For those of you who wondered if I was ok,health-wise, rest assured that I’m still on the top side of the ground.

    I’m gonna see the doc, but for now, most of my blood is still circulating in me.

    Now that I think of it, last time I went to donate blood, I was rejected for low iron. In the past I was always average to high on iron.

    I’ll mention that too when I go to the doc.

    1. MikeS

      Are you not currently losing blood, at least?

      1. hayeksplosives

        Correct.

        But I have bruises everywhere. Too easily bruising. Somethings up.

        1. Tundra

          Yikes!

          I think a little blood work is definitely in order.

          And a steak. 😉

          1. Spudalicious

            That or start gnawing a cast iron skillet.

          2. BakedPenguin

            If it’s a Vitamin K deficiency, some cheesy broccoli would be good, too.

          3. hayeksplosives

            Cheesy broccoli is always a good idea.

        2. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

          The spousal unit has that issue — turns out it’s indicative of Anti-phospholipid Syndrome. We’re dealing with it (though there’s no cure).

          1. hayeksplosives

            Wow.

            That fits, right down to the red spots on the skin.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Wow, that description fits pretty darned well, right down to the red splotches on the skin.

          3. hayeksplosives

            Ok , effing internet, stop dicking with me.

            I have to turn OFF WiFi to get a better connection to Glibs through LTE.

            Sorry for the (flying) squirrel.

          4. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

            To put your mind at ease, if indeed that’s what’s going on with you, my wife’s doing quite well, once we stopped risking her life by trying to have kids. (I had to put my foot down — her overly-romantic notions about children were gonna get her killed . . . ).

    2. creech

      Any ancestry tracing to Queen Victoria and/or Romanovs? Seriously,good luck identifying cause. I bleed easily, but that’s due to my Xarelto use. With dry winter air, I probably get a nosebleed every other day but it usually clots pretty quickly.

      1. Sean

        Is coke hemostatic?

        1. Count Potato

          No, but it’s a vasoconstrictor.

      2. hayeksplosives

        Romanov, da.

        But hemophilia would have showed up in childhood.

        1. Count Potato

          Get well soon!

          1. hayeksplosives

            Thanks, dude.

            Nostrovya!!

  23. Local news up here in the Albany, NY market reran the following absolutely enraging news story:

    Florida police: How dare you make us get a subpoena!.

    The story in itself with the cops’ sense of entitlement is bad enough, but even worse is how a quick search seems to be showing every media outlet of there sucking cop dick and saying, “Just give them what they want”.

    1. Not Adahn

      You’re supposed to focus on how much you hate package thieves, and how much you want the police to hurt them for you.

      1. And how evil it is that Amazon has money.

    1. Bob the Builder

      Huh,he was a good guy,

    2. Tres Cool

      -12 Nappy Headed Ho’s

      1. hayeksplosives

        LOL

      2. It’ll be fitting if they dig his grave with a nappy toothed backhoe.

        (yeah I know, but it’s all I could come up with)

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Too bad. I like Ah! Leah!

      1. Tres Cool

        Thats not too bad, but I always liked this.

    4. Spudalicious

      Saw that. IIRC, he had cancer.

      1. Tres Cool

        Of the postulate, I think

        1. Spudalicious

          Where exactly is the postulate located?

          1. Not Adahn

            lying on the ground, duh.

          2. Spudalicious

            No, no. That’s the prostrate gland.

          3. Tres Cool

            Next to the hypotenuse, I think

          4. hayeksplosives

            You guys have me in tears of laughter.

            Do any of you remember when Alan Greenspan was rushed to the hospital for treatment of an enlarged prostate?

            CNN had their little news ticker tape going across the bottom of the screen, and it said “Alan Greenspan hospitalized due to an enlarged prostitute.”

            Alan’s wife in a TV statement that day remarked “He should be so lucky.”

            Jewish AF. I loved it.

        2. Tundra

          Not the apostate?

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well damn, RIP. I wasn’t a regular listener but I always liked his sense of humor.

  24. At the risk of having drugs fall out my ass –Holee Shiiitt.

    1. Spudalicious

      Jeebus. I’ve had cars join a crash scene, but never a semi.

    2. Sean

      Yowza! I think I heard multiple sphincters slamming shut.

      1. … as if millions of sphincters suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly slammed shut.

        1. Shirley Knott

          …As if a hundred Steve Smiths had just locked the gates to the stadium.

    3. MikeS

      WOW. It’s so enraging to me to see people blindly flying down the highway in fog and snow storms. Especially in a semi.

      1. Sean

        Huh. New avatar, same theme.

        I’m starting the think you may have anger issues…

        1. Spudalicious

          He was inappropriately touched as a child.

          1. MikeS

            “Inappropriately” makes it sound unwanted.

          2. Spudalicious

            Then it must be that nobody would inappropriately touch you.

          3. MikeS

            *nods slowly*

            *pours another whiskey to drown the pain*

          4. Spudalicious

            *Raises glass of wine, feels pity for Mike*

      2. Trigger Hippie

        How about while sporting a semi? I mean, that does sound exciting.

        1. MikeS

          ALOL

      3. westernsloper

        ^ This. It’s as bad as getting behind the wheel drunk off your ass imho.

    4. Tres Cool

      Point of order- I think you have to at least shoot yourself in the balls 1st.

      1. Sean

        I’m gonna pass on that. Thank you very much.

    5. Count Potato

      Yikes!

  25. Count Potato

    “Vote for Bernie? Why Not Just Write In Santa Claus
    At least St. Nick isn’t a Useful Idiot for Putin.

    IN THE PROGRESSIVE COLLEGE TOWN where I live, one sees a lot of “Bernie” bumper stickers on a lot of Subarus. Probably these are remnants of 2016, when the Independent from Vermont masqueraded as a Democrat, dividing the party and hobbling Hillary Clinton’s campaign just enough to fuck up the final tally. Although I held with HRC then as now, I don’t begrudge anyone who supported Bernie Sanders in the primaries four years ago, when we first became acquainted with the ugly font and awful shade of blue on his campaign merch. But to support him today, after Trump, after Mueller, is akin to insisting, on Christmas 2019, that despite ample evidence to the contrary, Michael Jackson is innocent, because you really dig Off the Wall.”

    https://gregolear.substack.com/p/vote-for-bernie-why-not-just-write

    1. Count Potato

      “Bernie is a socialist—but of the Union of Soviet Socialists variety.

      Hey, there’s a reason Santa Claus wears red!

      Bernie is a self-styled “socialist” who has bought, hook line and sinker, the Stalinist propaganda about Marxism and the glories of the Soviet Union. This was understandable if you were Dalton Trumbo in 1947. After all, the governing philosophy of communism is “let’s share everything so there is no want,” which is kind of appealing, especially next to the “fuck you, pay me” mantra of unvarnished Trump-variety capitalism. Seven-plus decades later, alas, the naïveté borders on delusional.”

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, vote for Hillary. She’ll pull the same crap except she won’t do you the favor of telling you to your face.

        Idiot.

      2. leon

        “fuck you, pay me” mantra of unvarnished Trump-variety capitalism”

        I thought that was what the government said

  26. Not Adahn

    Apparently the network security guys have gotten lax.

    I’m NOT saying that I’m in this picture. I’d never dox myself to you lot.

    https://glibertarians.com/fab8/

    1. Sean

      *nerd alert*

      1. Not Adahn

        The fact that I literally keep a log of every round fired didn’t tip you off about that?

        1. Sean

          That set off some ocd alarms.

          Know the last time I cleaned my favorite pistol? Neither do i. And I guarantee ? it will go bang next time I shoot it.

          1. Not Adahn

            I’d have to look up the last cleaning date. That why I write it down, so I don’t have to remember.

            My favorite pistol I can only guarantee it will go off 99.96% of the time.

          2. Not Adahn

            Wait, that’s not true.

            I can 100% guarantee it will go bang. It has a slightly lower chance that it will go bang a second time without remedial action.

          3. Sean

            LOL, I’m not even sure how many we have anymore.

            You’re welcome to come down and visit anytime (weekends). We can take a walk through the collection and go to the range.

            Don’t worry about ammo either.

          4. Not Adahn

            I will probably take you up on that, if for no other reason than to shoot more Sigs than I have before in my life.

            I’ll bring my CZ.

          5. Sean

            I hope so. It would be fun!

            My range is great. Only caveat is that the max range is 100 yards.

            TPTB is welcome to share my email with you anytime.

          6. Count Potato

            Get a revolver.

          7. Not Adahn

            If revolvers are so foolproof, how come the salesguys in the gun shop lose their shit when you spin the cylinder then snap it closed?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GspksqvtO3k

    2. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

      Needs moar VLSI.

      1. sksksksksksk?

        Oh wait, that’s VSCO, not VLSI.

    1. westernsloper

      Damn, if you wanted to motor boat her your head would need to be the size of a shrimp trawler.

      1. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

        Or a Launch Vehicle Assembly Building.

  27. leon

    https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2019/12/16/bipartisan-utah-group/

    I’m kinda agnostic about the tax reform. It lowers the income tax, but shifts or elsewhere. I doubt this takes traction.

    1. Rhywun

      part of the Utah Constitution that dedicates income tax revenue to public education

      Good grief. You don’t put shit like that in your Constitution.

      SLD but at first glance the bill sounds like a transfer of wealth from the poor and middle class to the rich.

      Also… fuck you, cut spending.

  28. hayeksplosives

    New thread alert!!